


Just Roll With It

by yourmothersmeatloaf



Series: on god [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 185,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourmothersmeatloaf/pseuds/yourmothersmeatloaf
Summary: Hinata gets made fun of for being single every single year and Iwaizumi is fed up with it.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Iwaizumi Hajime
Series: on god [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067030
Comments: 87
Kudos: 134





	1. God Damned Mistletoe

Hinata was in his third year of high school and remained girlfriendless. For some reason, his friends and teammates decided to latch onto that fact and beat it until it was bloody, despite the fact that none of them had girlfriends either.

He was at a party, mixed with many volleyball teams and their adoring fans. It was a Christmas party, in fact. They got the day off due to the holiday, so after their practices on Christmas Eve they all dressed their best and flooded Oikawa’s luxurious home, as such was tradition.

Karasuno was very pointedly not invited the first year Hinata joined the team, so he made a point himself by crashing it alongside his team. The night ended being so fun they were actually invited the following years.

Every year Oikawa would hang a mistletoe, and every year Hinata was slandered for having no one to kiss under it. He knew better than to stand anywhere near the damned thing by that point.

So, he stood in the kitchen, very far from the fireplace where the mistletoe hung. He mingled and mixed among teammates and opponents alike as he slowly became drunker and drunker. He noticed he was always targeted with drinks and shots at parties. Normally he avoided most of them, but the Christmas party was always different. He never wanted to remember them. It was just better that way. He accepted every shot he was offered until the room spun around him. He savoured the fuzzy feeling in his head and the warmth coursing through his veins.

He wanted to talk to everyone. He wanted to sing on the top of his lungs. He wanted to touch someone. He wanted someone to touch him. But mostly, he wanted to dance.

He made his way back to the normally spacious living area, but was cramped in like a sardine amongst the sea of people. He adored how the alumni from different schools still attended the party. He loved how Oikawa still hosted two years post graduation. He loved his friends. He loved his opponents. He loved parties. He settled into a spot closer to the far wall as he danced with anyone near him. His face split into a goofy grin that strained his cheeks. He thought that was the best type of pain there was.

That was until…

“Hey, Hinata!” Tanaka called out to him. “Shouldn’t stand under that thing if you don’t have anyone to kiss!”

Dread weighed him down as he craned his head up to get a good look at the cursed mistletoe. He wasn’t prepared. 

“Poor, sad, little tangerine,” Kageyama’s solemn tone directly contrasted his evil grin.

“It’s okay, Hinata!” Nishinoya beamed, “You’ll find someone! Eventually, anyways!”

Hinata stared on, cheeks growing darker with every remark his friends threw out. He noticed the people around him beginning to pay attention, only making his blush deeper. They could hear them even over the intensely loud music. It was so humiliating.

“What?” He heard a deep voice from behind him.

He turned and met Iwaizumi Hajime’s green eyes. His eyebrows raised. He hadn’t expected it to be him, of all people.

“Oh, it’s just a game we play!” Nishinoya laughed.

“Yeah, it’s called ‘point out how sad and alone Hinata is for no reason’,” Tanaka said with a smile.

“Well, that’s not very kind,” Iwaizumi frowned before looking at Hinata’s red face. “Who even said he’s alone?”

“The mistletoe,” Kageyama gestured upwards.

Iwaizumi stared between the embarrassed Hinata, the mistletoe, and his cackling friends. His frown deepened before he sighed.

“Babe, if you wanted a kiss under the mistletoe, you should have just said so.”

“Huh?” Hinata’s eyes were just as wide as his friends.

Before he could really process it, Iwaizumi had his hands on Hinata’s upper arms as he dragged him in. The brunet pressed his lips to Hinata’s who was too shocked to reciprocate. At first. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the loneliness or the intense social pressure of being nearly eighteen and still single, but he found himself slipping into the unexpected kiss.

His hands found their way around Iwaizumi’s neck and pulled him in closer. He felt Iwaizumi’s hands, one on his hip and one on his waist, and he relished the feeling. He sighed appreciatively against Iwaizumi’s mouth as he pulled away, pressing his forehead to Hinata’s.

“Good?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, but what the  _ hell?”  _ Tanaka gaped.

“Agreed,” Nishinoya breathed.

“Like I said,” Iwaizumi side eyed them, “Who said he’s alone?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell us?” Kageyama glared at Hinata.

Before Hinata could answer, Iwaizumi did so for him, “Why  _ would  _ he tell you? Look at how you’re treating him right now.”

Hinata was overly aware of the way Iwaizumi kept his hand on his waist even after he’d pulled away to address his friends better. His touch felt like fire on his skin. It wasn’t that Hinata had never been touched. He wasn’t a virgin by any stretch of the word, but it’d admittedly been a while since he had any such relations. He zoned out of the conversation in front of him and just felt the touch as it slid from his waist to the small of his back. He really liked it.

“Come on,” Iwaizumi said as he pushed on Hinata. “That’s enough of this.”

“Uh, right,” Hinata said as he began walking out of his own volition.

He savored the feeling of the shocked stares he felt boring into the back of his head, even through the disappointment he felt when Iwaizumi’s hand fell from his back.

Once they were well out of earshot, Iwaizumi spoke to him, “I’m sorry that I did that. I couldn’t hear that for the third year in a row.”

“You’ve heard it before?” Hinata cringed as he followed Iwaizumi to the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi muttered as he mixed a drink, “Unfortunately.”

The brunet handed Hinata the drink he just mixed before making one himself. Hinata stared down into the dark soda concoction before taking a sip. When Iwaizumi finished making his own drink he turned and leaned against the counter. He met Hinata’s eye.

“So I guess we’re a thing now, hypothetically speaking. If you’d hypothetically take me.”

Hinata laughed down at his drink, “It’s a hypothetical yes from me.”

“And to think how tragic our hypothetical break up will be in a month. I hope our hearts will recover,” Iwaizumi feigned sadness.

Hinata cackled out laughter before taking a long drink. He slowly shook his head with his laugh. He and Iwaizumi stood in relatively awkward silence for a moment before he felt his hand on his arm once again. He looked up to meet his eye.

“I’m going to go mingle, okay? I don’t get to see a lot of these guys very often.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Iwaizumi leaned forward and kissed his forehead before becoming another body in the mass of people in the living area, intently watching over Hinata’s shoulder as he went. Hinata turned and immediately walked into Kageyama, slightly spilling his drink.

“What the h—“

“I don’t understand.”

“What?”

“Iwaizumi Hajime? I don’t understand.”

Hinata just shrugged. He hadn’t thought about their fake love story at all. What was he supposed to say?

“Uh, yeah. He’s cool.”

At least it wasn't a lie.

“Okay? Why wouldn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know.”

He was too drunk to be having that conversation. Far too drunk, but he continued to sip on his drink each time he felt nervous.

“I mean, it’s  _ you.  _ You would’ve told us a million times by now.”

“I guess maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Hinata narrowed his eyes.

“Okay, fine,” Kageyama glared back. “But-“

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bokuto saved the day by pulling the unexpecting boys into a hug. “Lighten up! It’s a party! So… party!”

Hinata laughed, “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you yet!”

“Get a good look, then!” Bokuto laughed. “‘Cause when I’m through with you, you won't be able to see!”

“I like the sound of that!” Hinata shouted.

“Pass,” Kageyama said, pulling away from them. “We’re not done with our conversation, by the way, Hinata.”

“Yeah, whatever. Later!” Hinata stuck his tongue out at him before being pulled to the table by Bokuto.

Iwaizumi walked through the people, looking around for anyone who peaked his interest. He didn’t have an opportunity to do that as he ran into Oikawa first.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa grabbed him by his shoulder. “Did I see you kiss Chibi-chan under the mistletoe?”

“Uh,” Iwaizumi rubbed his neck and looked away. “I guess you did.”

“Right,” Oikawa’s face scrunched up. “Why, though?”

“His friends were making fun of him again. You know how they do that every year?”

“Oh, aw. A pity kiss? That’s embarrassing, even for Chibi-chan.”

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, though, okay?”

“Why would I do that? It’s hilarious!”

“What I’m hearing is, ‘Iwaizumi, don’t trust me with your secrets cause I’m a huge idiot asshole’. Sound about right?”

“What? No, Iwa-chan! I’ll keep your secret! I promise!”

Iwaizumi laughed at the panic in his friend’s face. It always made him laugh after Oikawa backpedalled after making a comment that wasn’t received well. Fortunately for him, that seemed to happen often. He put a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder and pushed forward. He settled into a conversation with some of his other old teammates which was comfortable and familiar.

“Iwaizumi!” Kindaichi called. “I heard you’re dating that kid from Karasuno?”

“News travels fast,” Iwaizumi muttered.

“How the hell did that happen?”

“Even you would be lying to say he isn’t something special,” Iwaizumi attempted to evade the actual question.

They shrugged their indifference towards the statement. Iwaizumi supposed he was lucky to have that conversation happen while everyone was properly sloshed. It made it much easier to not really say anything but sound like he was saying everything.

“It’ll be weird to see you in a relationship,” Kunimi said.

“You’re right there,” Iwaizumi agreed.

He wasn’t the type to date. He had a few short term girlfriends here and there, but volleyball and Oikawa tended to get in the way of anything. He honestly couldn’t picture himself being in love and that didn’t bother him. He had other priorities. Relationships at such a young age proved to be pointless. Odds are you won’t stay with that person, and if it isn’t endgame what’s the point?

“Oh, yeah!” Watari threw his hands up.

Iwaizumi turned to see what he was cheering for. Bokuto carried Hinata on his back. The ginger held a wooden spoon in one hand and a large metal pot in the other. He smashed the two together while he and Bokuto started shouting the words to  _ Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl. _

“Oh, my god,” Iwaizumi breathed as he pressed a hand to his forehead.

But people seemed to love it. They joined in the chanting of the lyrics until whoever held the bluetooth changed the music over. He watched a collective mass of drunken teenagers dance around to  _ Billy Joel’s  _ words of wisdom before someone shouted from across the room.

“Hinata!”

He watched in slow motion as someone threw a volleyball at the ginger who panicked and dropped the things in his hands. Bokuto yelped as the pot landed on his foot and his grip on Hinata slipped. Panic swelled in Iwaizumi’s chest as he saw him starting to fall. He ran over to them and managed to catch the ginger at the last second. But, so did Bokuto. He held his upper body while Bokuto caught him again by the legs. The volleyball fell into Hinata’s arms and they all stared at each other.

After a moment, Bokuto laughed heartily and dropped Hinata’s legs, causing him to fall further into Iwaizumi. The onlookers went back to their activities. Hinata’s back was pressed against his chest and they looked at each other with wide eyes. Before Iwaizumi could hastily let him go, they felt arms around them.

“Look at my new favorite couple,” Oikawa laughed. “So cute.”

Hinata’s face flushed as he looked back up between him and Iwaizumi, “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi strained. “Thanks.”

Oikawa leaned between them and whispered, “If you really plan on selling this you need to look like you  _ like  _ each other. I mean, think about how embarrassing it’ll be when they all figured out you lied.”

Iwaizumi’s face flushed too. That was true. He had to step it up. If he thought that Hinata was brutally made fun of enough to lie in the first place, it’d be so much worse if they knew it was a lie.

“Right,” he said slowly.

Oikawa pulled away and ruffled both of their hair, “Good!”

Hinata went to move away but Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around him, “Where are you going?”

“Um?” Hinata stuttered. “Just-“

“Stay.”

“Okay,” Hinata turned in his arms and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

As Iwaizumi stared into his warm eyes, he could feel the gazes of who he assumed was Karasuno’s entire team. So, he did what any doting boyfriend would do and pulled Hinata close by his waist.

“Can I kiss you?”

“That’s what I’d expect my boyfriend to do,” Hinata whispered.

Iwaizumi tilted Hinata’s head up by the chin and leaned down to kiss him. He hated to admit it, but it was nice. Hinata’s lips were chapped, but they were soft. He was also considerably more skilled than anticipated. He pulled away when he felt Hinata tug at the back of his shirt.

Hinata wouldn’t meet his eye. He just looked shyly past his shoulder before leaning forward into him. It seemed less like an act of affection and more of an act of evasion.

Tanaka ran up and separated them by the shoulders, “Okay! I’m callin’ it! This is  _ too damn weird _ !”

“I’m confused,” Iwaizumi said. “So, he gets made fun of when he’s single but you guys insert yourselves when he’s with someone?”

“We’re not  _ making fun of him  _ making fun of him!” Nishinoya said. “It’s just fun with love!”

He looked back to Hinata, whose face said  _ it’s definitely not fun.  _ He sighed and took him by the hand.

“Well, get used to it. Okay?”

He pulled Hinata away from them and smiled inwardly at the reaction he was sure to have elicited, namely from Kageyama.

“Thanks,” Hinata said once they were away from everyone else.

“No problem. They shouldn’t act like that. Even if it’s a joke, it isn’t funny.”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled.

“So, we have a decision to make. Two, actually.”

“Oh?” Hinata’s smile fell. 

“Firstly, how committed are we going to be to this? Because, Oikawa is right, as much as I  _ loathe  _ saying that. It would be really embarrassing if we were caught in a lie.”

“Oh, well,” Hinata leaned back on the wall in the hallway and thought. “If we’re just breaking up in a month, I don’t see a reason to make a big deal.”

“That’s true. What does a ‘big deal’ consist of?”

“Things like changing our relationship statuses, constantly posting each other and things like that. Basically, just being very public.”

“Wait, shouldn’t we—“ Iwaizumi’s face flushed. “Shouldn’t we be acting like we’ve already been dating for a little bit? Then on top of that, if we act like we’re just going to break up in a month then people will catch on.”

“What are you saying? I’m so drunk,” Hinata laughed as he squinted.

“I think we just need to behave as though we don’t plan on breaking up, since normal dating people don’t usually do that.”

“ _ Usually _ !” Hinata barked.

“Usually,” Iwaizumi repeated and couldn’t help but smile back.

When Hinata finished laughing, he spoke again, “So, we’re in this then?”

“Looks that way.”

“Okay,” Hinata smiled as he started walking away. He turned back to look at Iwaizumi, “Just one thing, Iwa.”

Iwaizumi hummed his acknowledgment, surprised by the use of his nickname.

“Don’t go falling in love with me!”

Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed as he watched Hinata walk away.

‘ _ Fat chance of that happening,’  _ he thought as he scoffed.

He followed Hinata’s path back to the party, wanting to drink that interaction away.


	2. Stick Around

“Hinata, stay and hit some sets,” Kageyama said.

Hinata rubbed at his face and neck with a towel. They had an extra long practice that night due to Nationals coming up once again. He pursed his lips as he checked the clock.

“I’m sorry, I can't.”

“What? Why?”

“I have to meet Iwa. We’re meeting in Sendai and I’m already late.”

Kageyama glared at him, “Don’t you think this is more important?”

“A promise is a promise, Kageyama!” Hinata smiled at him. “I know you wouldn’t understand relationships, but—“

Kageyama cut him off by throwing a volleyball at him, “Shut up.”

Hinata continued to smile at him as he caught the ball. Even if the relationship was fake, it felt so nice being on the other side of the relationship discrimination. He threw the ball back at Kageyama and waved to him as he made his way to the clubroom to change.

He didn’t know Iwaizumi well at all, but he was still surprised by how prideful the man actually was. He really was pulling out all the stops trying to make their relationship convincing so they don’t get caught lying about something so stupid. It came as a surprise to Hinata when he’d asked him on a date. According to Iwaizumi, it’d be more convincing if they hung out and posted couple-esque photos to their social media.

He also felt reluctantly special. Iwaizumi seemed like such an exclusive person in the way of people he chooses to spend time with. He knew that his spur of the moment decision to kiss him to shut his friends up was made out of drunken pity, but he found himself glossing over that detail.

He changed, threw some deodorant on and was back out the door in minutes. Iwaizumi informed him to dress nicely as they were meeting at a decent restaurant. Hinata patted his pocket, making sure he had his wallet on him. He was good to go.

Iwaizumi waited in the restaurant for Hinata, as he swiped on his phone. He tapped his foot impatiently under the table and sighed as he rested his head on his hand. He kept checking the door whenever he saw someone moving, the anticipation growing each time it wasn’t Hinata. His heart would beat faster and drop with every glance.

Was he… Was he nervous? Why?

He was just nervous about people figuring out the truth. That it was just a random, drunken mistake.

He lost himself in his thoughts until he saw someone directly approaching him. His heart launched into his throat as he looked up.

“Sir, is your friend going to be showing up soon?”

Iwaizumi scowled at the waiter, “Yes.”

“Okay, but in ten minutes if he hasn’t shown up we’re going to have to ask you to give up your table.”

“Fine, okay.”

He glanced down at his watch. 8:20PM. He supposed he couldn’t be too annoyed with the waiter when it was Hinata who was then twenty minutes late. Where was he?

His tapping escalated under the table as he watched the people in the room. He noticed it was mostly other couples.

8:24PM

Where  _ was  _ he? Was he even going to show up? Just as he pulled his phone out to text Hinata, the waiter caught his eye again, eliciting another deep scowl from Iwaizumi. How humiliating could it get?

8:28PM

‘ _ Jesus Hinata, _ ’ he thought. ‘ _ What a stupid idea.’ _

He was about to give up when Hinata burst loudly through the door. He talked hurriedly to the hostess and she directed him awkwardly to where Iwaizumi sat. Hinata rushed over and immediately began flooding out with apologies. He was out of breath and red in the face, as though he ran the entire way there. Iwaizumi’s face flushed at the scene as he stood to pull Hinata’s chair out for him.

“I am  _ so _ sorry,” Hinata said loudly.

“ _ It’s fine, Hinata. Just sit,”  _ Iwaizumi whispered to him.

“You sound so angry, though!”

“ _ People are looking,”  _ he said into his ear as he helped push his seat in.

Hinata looked around and his face became impossibly redder. He lowered his voice, “Oops.”

Iwaizumi walked back to his side of the table and rolled his eyes once his back was turned to the ginger. Hinata shrugged off his jacket and hung it along with his cream colored scarf on the back of his chair. He placed his bag sheepishly under the table by his feet. He sat back down as the waiter nearly immediately reapproached.

“Excellent.” He addressed Hinata, “Good to see you. Here are your menus. We have specials if you’d like to hear them.”

“No, that’s fine,” Iwaizumi dismissed, taking the menus from him and handing one to Hinata.

“Can we start with drinks?”

“I’m good with water,” Iwaizumi said, then looked at Hinata.

“Oh, um, me too.”

“Very good. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” the waiter said before walking away.

“Dick,” Iwaizumi muttered after him under his breath.

“What was that?” Hinata looked at him over his menu.

“Oh, nothing,” Iwaizumi said as he started scanning the menu. “What are you thinking?”

“I don’t usually eat Italian, I won’t lie to you. I’m not sure. Probably… pasta of some kind?”

“Yeah, that adds up.”

Iwaizumi silently vowed never to drink again. He obviously couldn’t be trusted to make sound decisions. He sighed as he decided on what he wanted and angled his menu down and took a Snapchat.

The picture was of the top of his menu and Hinata studying his own. He captioned it ‘ _ DATE NIGHT’  _ and posted it to his story.

“What are you doing?” Hinata asked, squinting at him.

“Posting to my story. That’s the whole point of this, right?”

“Right,” Hinata looked back down for a minute before closing his menu.

He put his menu on top of Iwaizumi’s and took a photo of them. He captioned it ‘ _ so lucky’  _ with a heart before posting it to his own story.

The waiter came back with their water and they ordered, thankfully causing him to disappear once again.

“It seems like you hate that guy,” Hinata said.

“He has a bad attitude,” Iwaizumi glared after him.

“Uh, yeah,” Hinata said slowly. “ _ He  _ has a bad attitude.”

“What are you saying?” The glare turned to Hinata.

“Nothing… Nothing…”

“Yeah, whatever.”

They sat in silence, looking around the room. They observed the strangers who were having a good time in the company of their favorite people.

“I know we’re here on business,” Hinata said, not looking at him, “But I think we can have a good night at the same time.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi looked back at him. “Karasuno’s going back to Nationals this year.”

“Yeah, that’s true. We’re going to win. This is our last chance.”

“Yeah, missing out on your last chance really sucks,” Iwaizumi said bitterly.

“I can imagine…” Hinata bit the inside of his cheek as he stared down at the tablecloth.

He made no effort to speak again, an action that was reciprocated by Iwaizumi. His only real interactions with the brunet were on the court and at parties, and he had to admit he was much more fun during those other events.

Their food came and they ate in silence for the most part. At one point he asked Iwaizumi how he was liking his food and earned a simple ‘good’. When they finished their dinner, Hinata ordered a singular piece of chocolate cheesecake. When it arrived, Hinata placed it near the lighted centrepiece and took a bite. He stole Iwaizumi’s dessert fork and placed it alongside his own on the plate. Iwaizumi raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“That’s the whole point of this, right?” Hinata mocked him.

“Right.”

He captioned his Snapchat with ‘omg’ and the heart eyes emoji. He responded to a couple of chats he got on his last story. Kenma’s shock made him laugh. Iwaizumi took a photo of Hinata smiling down at his phone with the cake and romantic decor in the background. He captioned it ‘too good for me’ and scoffed as he posted it.

After a moment of them both on their phones he looked up at the ginger, “Are you actually going to eat that, or?”

“No, I’ll bring it to my mom. I don’t like desserts.”

“Okay?” Iwaizumi squinted at him. “That’s weird.”

“What?” Hinata finally looked up at him.

“It’s like you’re constantly on a sugar high. How do you  _ not  _ like sweets?”

Hinata shrugged and looked back at his phone, “I don’t know. Just not my taste, I guess. Besides, it’s not like it’s very nutritionally valuable.”

“Desserts  _ can  _ be nutritious.”

“Yeah, they  _ can  _ be,” Hinata said flatly. “But there's a million other things I’d rather eat that are better for me, so.”

Iwaizumi had a soft spot for nutrition and health training. He was really surprised by that new information about Hinata because he genuinely struck him as someone who ate powdered candy sticks in bed.

The waiter came back and gave Hinata a takeout box as Iwaizumi paid for them. They thanked the waiter and left the restaurant. They didn’t talk as they walked to the bus stop. Hinata didn’t even attempt to speak to him and just watched the ground as he walked. Iwaizumi frowned at that. He wasn’t one to stay quiet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Hinata looked up. “Nothing.”

“You’re being very quiet.”

“I figured you didn’t want to talk,” Hinata shrugged.

“Why?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brow.

Hinata looked confused as he gestured vaguely back to the restaurant. Iwaizumi looked from him back to where he gestured.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” he said softly. “I get overwhelmed in places like that.”

“You should’ve told me,” Hinata still didn’t look at him. “We didn’t have to be there.”

“It was my idea.”

“That defense is even weaker,” he offered a small smile to the ground.

“You know, I am known for my offense,” Iwaizumi smiled over to him.

“You’re a very well rounded player, stop that,” Hinata chuckled.

Hinata perked up as he remembered something then thrust the cake into Iwaizumi’s hands. He looked down at the cake then back up at the ginger who pulls some bills out of his wallet.

“I’ll trade you things,” Hinata smiled at him.

“No, I got us into this mess. I don’t mind paying.”

“Oh,” Hinata frowned at the bills. “Are you sure? I feel bad.”

“Well, I didn’t show you a good time. So, please, keep it.”

Hinata frowned deeper as he replaced the bills in his wallet then took the outstretched cake back, putting it into his bag, “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

Iwaizumi stared at Hinata as he looked for the bus. He was slowly getting taller, closing the gap between them by a couple of inches. His cheeks and nose were turning red in the cold December air. The street lamps above them illuminated his flyaways and outlined his hair in a bright orange glow. His burgundy jacket was rich in color against the darkness of the night and contrasted the lightness of his scarf well. His warm breath puffed around him, lined in a warm yellow light. The lazy snowflakes fell and melted on the ground around them, wetting the roads and sidewalks. People passed by them, chatting loudly and happily. The bustling businesses around them thrived, doors dinging and ringing as they opened and shut. Hinata looked up at him, his brown eyes warming to soft amber in the light.

“What?”

“Do you… Do you have to go home right now? Or can you stay out?”

Hinata squinted at him, “I can stay out, why?”

“I feel bad. Pretend or not, you should enjoy every date with me. Let me make it up to you.”

Hinata hummed as his face twisted into a reluctant grin, “Okay.”

Iwaizumi smiled back and put his hand on Hinata’s upper back before gently pushing him forward. They walked down the lighted sidewalk, simply observing the shop fronts and patrons of said shops. His hand never fell from Hinata’s back as they walked and he noticed the ginger subconsciously drifted even closer to his side. Hinata startled and took out his phone.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said as he opened his Snapchat. “Just remembered to document this.”

Iwaizumi mentally slapped himself. He actually forgot in that short amount of time what the point of them being there was? He must’ve been caught up in his guilt at being sucked into his anxiety from showing Hinata an unpleasant time. What did he spend all the time yelling at Oikawa for if he was just going to do the same thing?

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched Hinata walk forwards and spin around with his phone before landing on him. He waved to the camera as Hinata narrated, “Look at this absolute cutie, taking me all the way out to Sendai for dinner and a walk! You know you wish you were me!”

Once his phone was safely back in his pocket, Iwaizumi looked at him, “ _ All the way out _ ? It’s only an hour on the bus. You bike that every day to go to school.”

“I only bike half an hour,” Hinata corrected. “Besides, I need to gush about you, don’t I?”

The words sounded sarcastic but his tone sounded serious. He was actually asking. Iwaizumi laughed as he shook his head.

“You don’t need to do anything more than what you would normally do.”

“I don’t know what I’d normally do,” Hinata looked ahead. “No one’s taken me all the way out to Sendai before.”

Iwaizumi hummed as he watched him in his peripheral. He was staring up in awe at all the lights around them. He supposed Hinata’s city was much more rural than his own, or even the one his school was in. It was probably rare for him to be in such a big city and he wanted to really appreciate the opportunity. He couldn’t help the smile that formed across his face. The lights reflected across his large eyes and made him look very… beautiful. 

Beautiful? Good god, he needed to get a grip.

Despite the thought, he took out his phone and snapped a photo of Hinata as he stared up. He examined it as he walked behind the ginger. It captured him perfectly. Every reflection of the lights, his aura of awe and appreciation, the way his hair was turning damp from the snow. Iwaizumi chewed his cheek as he glanced at Hinata then back down. He saved the photo to his memories before posting it to his story without a caption. It said enough on its own, he thought.

“Iwa!” Hinata called from ahead.

Iwaizumi put his phone away hastily as he caught up, “What’s up?”

“Have you ever tried hyotanage?”

“Of course,” Iwaizumi said. “Why?”

Hinata pointed to a food stand, “Look!”

“Oh, this is new,” Iwaizumi remarked. “You wanna try it?”

Hinata nodded as he approached and ordered the dry option for both himself and Iwaizumi. He paid and took the food, handing Iwaizumi’s over to him.

Iwaizumi took it and thanked him, telling him to wait. He removed his phone and opened his camera as Hinata laughed at him. He began recording with a smile.

“You’re really going to film this?”

“Of course! A man’s first hyotanage is a rite of passage!”

When Hinata’s laugh died down, he took a bite and chewed thoroughly. He pursed his lips as he decided how he liked it. An enormous smile split his face.

“Good?” Iwaizumi asked with a laugh.

“Yes, so good,” Hinata said as he took another bite.

The brunet put his phone away and bit into his own skewer, moaning appreciatively.

“I know it’s basically just fish paste, but why’s it so good?”

“I can’t answer that, but I’m obsessed!”

They walked in a much more comfortable silence than after their dinner as they ate their food. They tossed their skewers in a trash can once they were finished and turned towards each other.

“I think you’ve made it up to me,” Hinata smiled. 

“Do ya?” Iwaizumi picked at the lint in his pockets.

“Definitely!”

“I’m glad,” Iwaizumi feigned dramatic relief.

Hinata laughed wholeheartedly as he smacked Iwaizumi’s arm.

“It’s getting late, though. Last train’s soon, so should we go?”

“Yeah, good idea,” Iwaizumi said.

He turned to walk away but found he couldn’t because Hinata grabbed hold of his jacket. He squinted down at him before fully turning back.

“I think there’s one more story we need to post,” Hinata said, cheeks growing hot.

If the blush was any indication, he was referring to the classic ‘ _ look we’re so lucky you can tell by the way we kiss’ _ story.

Hinata pulled out his phone while Iwaizumi pulled him close by the waist. Hinata’s cheeks just kept getting darker and Iwaizumi wondered if there was a limit to the amount of blood that could rest in them. He leaned in as Hinata started filming and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, surprised by how warm he was. He knew all his body’s blood lived in his face at that moment, but the heat was still surprising. He took a moment to hover just before his face and used his best appreciative smile.

He pulled away once the saw the phone lower. He patted Hinata on the back as he turned back and started walking again. After a moment, the ginger jogged to catch up to him. They silently walked to the train station as they were then close enough they didn’t have to bus anymore.

Hinata existed right at his side and he had to admit to himself how nice that felt. Someone was actually there to be near  _ him _ , regardless of the circumstances that led them there. Normally people were only around him because he was around Oikawa. It was a foreign feeling, but not unwelcome.

He walked Hinata to his station and smiled down at him as he turned to face him.

“Thanks!” Hinata beamed. “We should hang out more often!”

“I think we're going to have to as we’re stuck together for the time being.”

“You make it sound so loving,” Hinata mocked with a laugh.

“You know me,” Iwaizumi fluttered his eyelashes as he dramatically put his hand over his heart. “Ever the romantic.”

“I mean,” Hinata looked down the tracks but his smile remained. “I think you’d be a good real boyfriend. As long as you stay away from restaurants.”

Iwaizumi scowled as Hinata laughed, “I’m going to prove to you that tonight was an anomaly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Hinata laughed. “I’ll hold you to it.”

The train became visible at the far end of the station. Hinata leaned up and hugged Iwaizumi briefly.

“I just have one question.”

Panic seized Iwaizumi. That tone was not promising.

“You haven’t fallen in love with me yet, have you? I wouldn’t blame you if you did, I mean, I’m me,” Hinata snickered. “Just understand I’m going to have to reject your non-hypothetical advances.”

“Of course I haven’t,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “I assure you, you’ll never have to non-hypothetically reject me.”

They looked at the train as it pulled up directly beside them and Hinata laughed again. It was the type of laugh where all his teeth were showing and his eyes closed, causing the corners of them to crinkle. 

“I'll hold you to that, too!” He shouted back as he ran onto the train. “Goodnight!”

“Night!” Iwaizumi waved after him.

He stood on the platform until the train’s doors shut. Then until it pulled away. Then, until it was long gone. He stared after where it disappeared, chewing on the inside of his lip.

He wasn’t really developing feelings, was he?

He knew he didn’t really want Hinata to leave. But he also knew he didn’t really know the guy. He knew wanted his lips back on his own. But he knew that was a bad idea. He didn’t know if it was  _ Hinata  _ or if it was that fact that it was  _ someone. _

He sighed and finally forced himself to walk away, lest he miss his own train back home.

‘ _ This was such a bad idea,’ _ he thought.


	3. Some Real Feelings Might Surface

The rest of the month passed with Hinata hardly seeing Iwaizumi. It worked well for their story, because Hinata was intensely busy with practices as Nationals was only days away. Their lie became very low maintenance as it was rather well timed.

He’d been given direct orders to take a full day off before they travelled to Tokyo for the tournament, so he reached out to Iwaizumi.

_‘_ **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _hey boyfriend_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Hello, lover._

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _aw dont say that LOL_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Lol mb. What’s up?_

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _wanna do smth before i leave tomorrow_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Ig so._

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _im gonna have to ask you to contain your excitement_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Lol come over later. I’ll forward you the address._

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _like… to your house?_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Yeah. My parents aren’t home. No offense but I don’t think we’re hypothetically there yet._

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _lololol youre such a dick_

 **_Hinata Shōyō:_ ** _nonhypothetically_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Thanks! Cya soon’_

When Hinata arrived at his house a few hours later, he took a deep breath. He didn’t know why he seemed to always get the jitters before meeting up with Iwaizumi but it was getting annoying. He shook his hands out and knocked.

To his absolute surprise, Oikawa opened the door.

“Chibi-chan! Welcome!”

He stepped aside and let Hinata inside, “Uh, thank you?”

He looked around the house. It was reasonably spacious and neat inside. It was nice. The personal touches in the decor made it seem like a real home. He scoffed at the baby photo of Iwaizumi that was perched right in the doorway.

“Absorbable, isn’t it?” Oikawa laughed then took Hinata’s jacket and scarf from him.

Hinata eyed him up strangely, “Not to be rude, Great King, but why are you being so nice?”

“Firstly, rude,” Oikawa’s smile never wavered. “Secondly, any fake boyfriend of Iwa-chan is a fake friend of mine!”

“Fair enough!” Hinata laughed.

He followed Oikawa to the living area, where Iwaizumi was setting up snacks on the table. Iwaizumi looked up as they entered the room.

“Hey, Hinata,” he greeted flatly. “Sorry about Shittykawa. He read our texts and decided to stay, and—“

“And we’re having a little get together!” Oikawa clapped his hands together proudly.

“Don’t look so proud of yourself,” Iwaizumi slapped him on the back, breaking his friend’s facade.

“Hey, getting everyone together on such short notice? I _should_ be proud!”

“Yes, so much work is an accomplishment for Lazykawa.”

“So mean,” Oikawa cried.

Hinata laughed at them, appreciating their friendship. He hoped that his squabbles with Kageyama looked at least half as charming. He was invited to sit on the couch while Iwaizumi made tea.

Oikawa plopped down beside him, draped his arm around the back of the couch, and leaned over Hinata to grab a snack from the table.

“So, tell me, Chibi-chan,” Oikawa said as he put the snack in his mouth. “How is Iwa-chan as a boyfriend?”

“I’ve only really hung out with him maybe four times. Including right now. I can’t honestly comment.”

Oikawa pursed his lips, “Oh. Weird.”

“Why is that weird?”

“No reason,” Oikawa muttered as he pulled back away from Hinata.

Hinata squinted at him, trying to make sense of the interaction. When his brain just flashed an error message, he tried pushing the thoughts away, regardless of how hard they tried to circle back.

Iwaizumi came back and distributed teacups. Hinata thanked him as he took his and sipped. He smiled and looked up.

“Is this—“

“Kocha,” Iwaizumi said, not looking at him. “The smallest splash of milk. I remembered.”

“Wow,” Hinata smiled down at his cup, “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. You drink too much of that if I can remember,” Iwaizumi said flatly.

Hinata’s smile didn’t fall. He’d only had it twice around Iwaizumi over the span of a month. Oikawa stared between them.

“You didn’t put anything in mine,” he pointed out.

“You know where everything is,” Iwaizumi glared at him. “Besides, you’re hardly a guest right now.”

Oikawa huffed and opted to drink the tea the way it was served. He scrunched his face up each and every time he took a sip, earning a laugh from Hinata every time.

Iwaizumi fussed over the state of the house the whole way until there was another knock at the door. The entirety of Seijoh as Hinata knew it from his first year entered. He watched in awe as his once-rivals filed in the room and sat in various spots.

“What’s up, Hinata?” Kindaichi asked.

“Nothing! How are you?”

“I’m alright. How’s Kageyama?”

“Stressed,” Hinata laughed.

Kindaichi nodded, “That adds up.”

Once everyone was settled and Iwaizumi served everyone tea, Oikawa stood. He once again clapped his hands together as he smiled.

“I have something fun for us today!”

“Oh, god,” Kunimi muttered.

Oikawa excitedly reached for something on the bookshelf and held up a circular electronic device, “ _Catchphrase!”_

The room groaned, only watering Oikawa’s smile and causing it to grow larger.

“What’s _Catchphrase_?” Hinata asked, staring around the room.

“Okay!” Oikawa turned to him, “Basically, it gives your a word or short phrase, and you have to get your teammates to guess what it is without saying what the disc says!”

“Oh,” Hinata beamed. “That sounds like so much fun!”

“It gets very competitive,” Iwaizumi warned.

Hinata bit his tongue before the ‘ _I beat you all before’_ could escape and instead said, “I love competition!”

Seijoh shot him a look saying, ‘ _you don’t understand’_.

“Let’s choose teams!” Oikawa said. “I’ll be a captain and… Matsu, you are the other captain.”

“Of course you choose yourself,” Kindaichi crossed his arms.

“Of course!” Oikawa pointed up triumphantly. “I choose Iwaizumi!”

“Who saw that coming?” Kunimi mumbled.

“Okay,” Matsu said. “Uh, Maki.”

“Yeah, that’s just as shocking,” Kindaichi mumbled back.

“Chibi-chan! I choose you. God forbid we separate the golden couple!”

Hinata’s face flushed, but no one seemed to care much.

Matsu chose Watari, Kunimi and Kentarō. Oikawa chose Kindaichi and Yahaba as the last two players for his team.

“Okay, teams! Alternate where you’re sitting!”

They all moved so no one sat next to their teammates. Hinata sat between Kunimi and Kentarō, feeling smothered by their intense energy.

Oikawa turned the game on, “Category: Variety. We’ll start down here so Chibi-chan can get a grasp on the game so he has no excuse when we brutally crush him.”

“I’m on _your_ team,” Hinata frowned, but Oikawa didn’t acknowledge him.

He stared down at the small screen and pursed his lips as it started ticking his time away. He stood slowly and held two fingers up.

“Two words,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You can talk, you know.”

“First word,” Oikawa said. “The opposite of stop.”

“Go,” his team groaned.

Oikawa acted out casting a fishing line and reeling it back in.

“Go fishing,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

Oikawa basically threw the disc at Matsu, “Yep!”

Matsu hardly started his turn before it buzzed loudly in his hands.

“Our point!” Oikawa laughed.

“You literally drew your turn out so he didn’t have any time left,” Kunimi complained.

“It’s called _strategy_ , dear Kunimi.”

Matsu rolled his eyes as he passed the disc to Iwaizumi.

“Pay attention, Chibi-chan. This is our turn.”

Hinata nodded and watched Iwaizumi start the timer.

“Three words,” Iwaizumi sounded pained.

He mimicked squeezing toothpaste on a toothbrush and mimed scrubbing his teeth.

“Brushing your teeth!” Hinata shouted right away.

Iwaizumi smiled at him as he passed the game to the next person. Hinata couldn’t help but laugh excitedly back. He knew it was likely an easy clue, but the thrill of winning was always the same.

They made their way around the circle three times, each round getting more intense and each turn becoming shorter. They were all shouting and jumping around, accusing and congratulating each other by the end. Oikawa’s team was the very clear winner, and they all moved together and high fived with a laugh.

“Sheesh, you all pretend to hate that game so much but it always ends this way,” Oikawa smirked at them, then turned to Iwaizumi and Hinata. “And who would’ve thought the golden couple could have such a psychic connection. We only found out about you a month ago.”

‘ _A month ago’_ rattled around in Hinata’s head. It’d been a month. Their hypothetical breakup was on the horizon, moving up fast. He looked at Iwaizumi who raised an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t explain it, but he wasn’t ready to let go of their fake relationship.

It was probably more the knowledge that they wouldn’t remain friends after. Both because it didn’t make sense for their story and because it was unlikely Iwaizumi would really want that.

They hadn’t spent enough time together, in Hinata’s opinion. He genuinely liked Iwaizumi as a person and wasn’t ready to have him not be part of his life. As far as his schedule allowed, four times in a month was more often than he saw anyone who wasn’t in his family or on his team.

Their conversations became longer and more personal each time, too. He learned that Iwaizumi was in school for sports science, his favorite color was blue, he had a strange love for _Godzilla,_ prompting Hinata to purchase him a _Godzilla_ phone case when he came across it while buying one himself. More than that, he learned his parent’s relationship was on the fritz, causing him to mostly stay with Oikawa while they were home. Iwaizumi told him that he’d only told Oikawa that aside from him. When he asked why he'd tell him, Iwaizumi simply shrugged and said ‘ _I trust you.’_

“Hey,” Iwaizumi waved in front of his face, “Anyone in there?”

Hinata blinked back into his present situation, “Uh, yeah. Hey, can we talk?”

Kunimi snickered, “That sounds good.”

Iwaizumi frowned at Kunimi then at Hinata, “Sure?”

He followed Iwaizumi to the kitchen, looked around, and asked, “Somewhere more private?”

Iwaizumi’s frown somehow deepened as he nodded and led him instead to his bedroom.

Hinata took in his new surroundings. The room looked hardly lived in. The only real personal things around was a _Godzilla_ poster on the back of the door and a strip of photo booth pictures of him and Oikawa taped above his desk. He smiled to himself as he studied the photos.

“What’s going on?” Hinata noticed the concern in his voice.

“It’s been a month,” Hinata said, not looking away from the pictures.

“Yeah, almost.”

Hinata didn’t know how to follow that up. He didn’t even know why he asked Iwaizumi to talk. He didn’t know what he wanted to say to him.

He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked into Iwaizumi’s eyes, feeling the full intensity of the analytical green stare.

“You have bigger things to worry about.”

Hinata looked to the floor and frowned. They really weren’t going to be friends after, were they? He hated how much the thought hurt. His chest clenched painfully, and the strain travelled to his gut.

“That being said,” Iwaizumi said slowly. “I feel like if we broke up right before Nationals, your teammates would really blame me if you weren’t playing your best.”

Hinata stared up at him through his eyelashes as he leaned against Iwaizumi’s desk, “Yeah. They would.”

“We can’t have that, can we?” He asked.

Hinata shook his head, “No, we can’t.”

“So, hypothetically speaking, I think we should stay together. Until after you win Nationals.”

“Yeah, I think we should,” Hinata smiled at his feet. “Hypothetically, anyways.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi held his hand out to him. “Let’s go back downstairs before they assume the worst.”

Hinata hesitantly took his hand and nodded, “You’re the best fake boyfriend ever.”

“I know,” Iwaizumi laughed. “Don’t go falling in love with me, Hinata.”

The ginger glowered at the use of his own words against him. He wasn’t a fan of being on that end of the joke.

“I could never fall for someone who has a _Godzilla_ poster on his door.”

“Blasphemy,” Iwaizumi feigned offense. “Says the one who got me a _Godzilla_ phone case.”

Hinata laughed as they traveled through the hall, hands clasped together, “Says the one who actually uses it.”

“Of course I use it,” Iwaizumi said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “My loving boyfriend got it for me. It could be _Hello Kitty_ and it’d still be on my phone.”

Hinata trailed behind, pulling Iwaizumi’s arm slightly back. He stared at him as he walked on. He took in his appearance.

He gelled his hair into spikes, but it always felt so soft whenever he’d touch it. He adored the way all of his features came together when he smiled. He had a nice smile and didn’t do it often enough. Hinata found himself trying to arouse that smile as often as possible when he was around Iwaizumi. It felt good when he was happy. He always smelled vaguely of cologne, but in a subdued way. He wasn’t like so many boys his age who seemed to shower in the stuff. The smell was becoming familiar. A sign that he could let his guard down. Which seemed almost psychopathic after such a short amount of time. Iwaizumi just had a trustworthy energy surrounding him and Hinata fell for it every time. 

He meant it all platonically, of course. Iwaizumi was quickly becoming the truest friend he ever had. Sure, he could talk to Kageyama if he wanted to get a half-assed emotionally unavailable response. He’d fallen mostly out of touch with the third years as they got busier with their schooling. It was such an easy shift, letting Iwaizumi in. It felt like they knew each other forever.

“Are you saying you _want_ a _Hello Kitty_ phone case?” Hinata asked as they moved back to the group.

“Please, no,” Iwaizumi looked alarmed. “The one I have is perfect.”

Everyone stared strangely at the out of context interaction.

Hinata laughed as he squeezed his hand, “Freakin’ loser nerd.”

“You watch your mouth!”

“Hey, don’t be such a loser nerd and I won’t call you one!”

Iwaizumi used their joined hands to smack him in the chest, “Stoppit.”

Hinata raised his free hand in surrender as he looked amusedly at the wall.

“Stop,” Oikawa said. “I’m going to throw up.”

Iwaizumi was still riding the laughter from his conversation with Hinata. He felt pretty good.

“You’re the one who butted in on our date. This is what you get,” Iwaizumi laughed as he pulled Hinata in and pressed a kiss to Hinata’s cheek.

Hinata’s cheeks set on fire. He wasn’t used to the physical affection because they rarely were physical. Only when necessary but especially when they were around people they knew, which was next to never when they hung out.

All of his past relationships were strictly sexual, causing him to have next to no experience in virginal romantic touch. He wouldn’t mind getting more experience, though.

‘ _But not with him,’_ he thought.

“Are we gonna watch this movie or not?” Oikawa rolled his eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Iwaizumi perked up.

He moved to the television to set the movie up.

“What are we watching?” Watari asked as he settled back into his seat.

“ _Shutter Island!”_ Iwaizumi exclaimed.

“Ugh,” Kindaichi groaned.

“Sorry guys! It’s the only way I could get him to agree to this,” Oikawa said as he reclaimed his couch cushion.

Everyone settled down in their seats as Iwaizumi finished setting up the movie. Once the opening music started he went and turned off any lights that were on, drowning the room in relative blackness. He moved back and sat heavily between Oikawa and Hinata.

Iwaizumi exhaled harshly as he wrapped his arm around Hinata’s shoulders and pulled him into his side.

Hinata glanced up at him before decidedly fixating on the movie. He stared forward and watched _Leonardo Dicaprio_ and _Mark Ruffalo_ start their grand investigation on _Shutter Island_.

Quarter way through the movie, he felt his eyes get heavy. It was such a slow movie. Oikawa had slumped apathetically on Iwaizumi’s other shoulder while the latter’s hand traced lazy circles over Hinata’s arm.

Hinata felt goosebumps raise every time his fingers infringed upon new territory, but did his best to ignore it. It’d been a long time since he’d been touched like that, that’s all.

Halfway through the movie, his eyes refused to stay open. Trying his very best, he could hardly make out the light coming off the television. He gave into it. He fell asleep to the sound of the movie’s soundtrack and Iwaizumi’s hand running over his skin.

Hinata awoke suddenly as everyone in the room shouted. He startled up, already feeling the pressure marks on his face from Iwaizumi’s rough sweater. He glanced around and saw everyone shouting at the screen which just rolled the credits.

“What the hell?”

Iwaizumi was smiling at his friends then looked down at Hinata, “If you stayed awake you would be yelling, too.”

“Sorry,” Hinata rubbed his eyes with a sheepish smile. “It started out so slow.”

“It had a lot to build up,” Iwaizumi said, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t mind you being asleep, either, though.”

Hinata didn’t know if he should’ve taken that as ‘ _I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with you’_ or ‘ _I liked you sleeping on me’._

And if it was the latter, he didn’t know if he really meant it or if it was just part of the show he was putting on for his friends.

‘ _It doesn’t matter, Hinata,’_ he mentally scolded himself.

He pulled away from Iwaizumi’s grasp as he stretched and yawned.

“Arghhh, god, I’m so tired.”

“Well, you missed the last train.”

“ _What?”_ Hinata hastily pulled his phone out. “ _How long is that movie?”_

“Long,” Oikawa said flatly.

“Shut up, you liked it,” Iwaizumi glared at him. “Yeah, we decided to finish the movie and everyone would just stay here.”

“No one asked me,” Hinata frowned.

“You wouldn’t wake up. It was hilarious,” Oikawa snorted. “You looked right at home in your lovers arms.”

Hinata blushed his embarrassment and looked away, “Whatever. I have to be at the school in the morning to go to Tokyo. This is a disaster.”

“I’ll just drive you,” Iwaizumi said simply. “No biggie.”

“You sure?” Hinata studied his face.

“Yep.”

“Okay,” Hinata smiled hesitantly, but let himself fully go as Iwaizumi readily met him with a smile of his own.

“You don’t get to play your shit music in the car though,” Iwaizumi’s face quickly fell to a frown.

“Great, I love listening to—“

“Don’t!” Iwaizumi’s face flushed as his eyes darted around the room.

‘ _Taylor Swift’_ hung in the air between them as Hinata did a poor job of biting his laughter back.

The rest of the room stared on wearily.

“I’m going to bed,” Oikawa stood. “I’m taking your room, Iwa-chan.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi said before standing as well. “Hinata you can go to my parents’ room. I guess we’ll be staying there tonight. I’m gonna set these guys up.”

“Okay.”

He moved up the stairs. He didn’t know which room was his parents’ but he couldn’t exactly ask in front of the other guys. That was something he was _supposed_ to know. There were a finite number of rooms, so he could figure it out quite easily. He opened the first door which seemed to be a guest room. The next door was Iwaizumi’s. After that was a laundry room. He opened the second to last door it could be, which was a bathroom. An _occupied_ bathroom.

Oikawa stood, buck naked, in front of the shower. He froze half way to reaching the knobs. Hinata’s entire body turned hot as panic seized him. He and Oikawa made heavy eye contact before the setter shrieked and hastily pulled the shower curtain around himself.

“What are you _doing,_ idiot? Go!”

Hinata’s motor skills kicked back in at full force as he slammed the door shut and all but ran to the only remaining door. He thrusted it open and slammed it shut. He didn’t even turn the light on. He just sat on the bed and stared at his shoes as he contemplated the universe and the exact purpose of karma.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, replaying his new trauma over in his brain with burning cheeks before Iwaizumi entered the room. He clicked the door shut behind him as he confusedly turned the light on.

“Why are you just sitting in the dark? Yo—“

His eyes finally landed on Hinata. His eyebrows raised high on his face as he shook his head.

“You look different.”

“I feel different,” Hinata mumbled.

“What happened to you? I was literally gone for ten minutes.”

“No,” Hinata slowly shook his head. “An eternity passed in those ten minutes.”

His face got even darker as he vividly relived those cursed ten minutes. How did he have _no ass?_ Was it possible for a volleyball player to have _no_ ass?

Iwaizumi’s face turned to deep concern as he hesitantly approached Hinata. He squatted in front of him so he could make eye contact.

“What… happened?”

Hinata tried to speak but found he couldn’t. His embarrassment ate him alive. Why did it take him so long to leave the room? What was wrong with him? What was Oikawa thinking?

“Hey, talk to me,” Iwaizumi’s voice was soft.

Hinata finally looked at him, “He was naked.”

Iwaizumi cocked his head and furrowed his brow, “Uh?”

“Oikawa. Shower. Couldn’t find this room.”

Realization finally settled over Iwaizumi’s feature before laughter took over. He held his sides as he fell back on his ass, absolutely hysterical.

“Oh, my GOD!”

“ _It isn’t funny,_ ” Hinata seethed, crossing his arms.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Iwaizumi gained some composure. “It’s pretty hilarious, though.”

Hinata went to kick him in the shoulder, but Iwaizumi was faster and caught his leg by the crook of his knee.

“Nice try,” he laughed as he stood and pushed Hinata over by the grasp he had on his leg.

Hinata laughed as he fell back on the mattress. He starfished on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Iwaizumi leaned on his arms against the edge of the bed.

“Do you n—“

Hinata cut him off by springing up and using all of his body’s weight to flip Iwaizumi onto the bed in retribution. Iwaizumi shook his head as he processed what just happened.

“You’re dead,” he said.

Hinata yelped and hopped off the bed as Iwaizumi chased after him. He ran around the room a couple of times before he used the bed to separate them. They each stood, hands placed on the mattress, centres of gravity low, ready to attack. They each had cheek straining grins on their faces and flushed skin. Iwaizumi feinted left, acting as though he was going to go for it. Hinata reacted quickly, moving to jump onto the bed and take the fast way across, but quickly caught onto his plan. He was too late, though, and Iwaizumi pounced across the mattress and caught Hinata before he could stop his momentum. He laughed loudly as he pulled Hinata over the mattress and threw him down.

“I win!”

“Like hell you win,” Hinata scoffed.

The ginger reached up and went to pinch him, but Iwaizumi dodged each attack. He caught Hinata’s right hand and pinned it down to the side. Hinata resported to using his left hand, which Iwaizumi quickly caught and pinned as well.

“Ha!” Iwaizumi laughed in his face.

Hinata blinked and gulped when he fully noticed their positioning. It took Iwaizumi a moment longer before he jumped off the bed as if it were on fire.

“As I was saying,” he cleared his throat. “You need to borrow pyjamas?”

“Uh,” Hinata pushed himself to a sitting position. “If you don't mind.”

“As a matter of fact, I do not mind,” Iwaizumi walked stiffly out of the room and to his own. He came back with pyjama pants and a new shirt. He passed them to Hinata, having changed himself while he was in his own room.

“I’m gonna go wash my face and stuff,” Iwaizumi gestured to the door.”

“Right, I’m gonna… change.”

“Okay. Good,” Iwaizumi said as he made a beeline to the door.

Once the door was shut, Hinata took a second to press his hands into his face and fully process what happened. How humiliating. That whole night. Just embarrassing.

He stood and changed quickly, not wanting to risk Iwaizumi walking in on him. Then, he folded his discarded clothes and placed them on top of the dresser. Once he was finished, he walked to the bed, peeled the sheets back and burrowed within them.

Iwaizumi came back and saw Hinata was already in the bed, so he turned out the light and closed the door. He got in beside Hinata and folded his hands behind his head.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Hinata’s muffled voice came from within the cocoon.

Iwaizumi squinted over at him before sighing. He rolled over and removed the blankets that covered his face.

“Is this how you normally sleep? With all the blankets over you like that?”

Hinata slowly shook his head.

“Okay, then don’t do that if you aren’t comfortable.”

Hinata pushed the blankets off of himself until he wore them like a normal human. He laid stiffly as he stared at the wall.

“Okay, I know what’s happening here,” Iwaizumi sighed.

Hinata’s heart stopped beating as he was petrified in place. He kept reminding himself there was nothing for Iwaizumi to even know. He wasn’t hiding anything. So then, why did he panic?

“You’re embarrassed,” Iwaizumi stated. “About walking in on Oikawa. I talked to him and he just ignored me, which is what he does when he doesn’t want to talk about something. If he was mad or anything other than just embarrassed, he would’ve said so.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Thank you,” Hinata said, risking a glance at him.

He was propped up on his elbow and stared intently down at Hinata. His shirt was loose, exposing his clavicle. The warm light from the street lamps below lit the ends of his hair, making them a very rich brown. Even in the darkness, the piercing intensity of his green eyes shone clearly. Hinata looked away and bit his cheek.

‘ _Shit,’_ he thought. ‘ _You’ve found lots of people attractive before. Get over it.’_

Iwaizumi clasped his shoulder before laying back on his back. After a while of just laying there, their thoughts becoming loud around them, Iwaizumi turned to face him again.

“Are you still up?”

“Yeah,” Hinata said, voice hoarse.

His entire body seized as he felt an arm around his waist over the blanket. Iwaizumi shifted closer and pressed his forehead into the nape of his neck.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah.”

It didn’t end there. Iwaizumi grasped him tightly in his arm around his chest and pulled him closer. He could feel Iwaizumi’s chest expanding and retracting into his back. He was sure the other boy could feel his own heart pounding with the intensity of a million drummers through both his chest and his back, but if he noticed he didn’t say anything.

As time passed, Hinata felt Iwaizumi’s breathing grow even and his arm became lax around him. He felt like he was able to breathe for the first time in what felt like four lifetimes. He allowed his own muscles to relax and settled into his new position comfortably. He felt like doing so when Iwaizumi was conscious to it would be admitting defeat. Not that he would be admitting to anything else.

There was definitely a rational explanation to Iwaizumi choosing to hold him. Who didn’t like going to sleep with someone in their arms? Friends did that all the time. And they were friends. Good friends.

He got the impression that Iwaizumi didn’t trust a lot of people, as evidenced by his only real long term friendship was with Oikawa. He felt incredibly honored to be let in so easily, and hoped Iwaizumi knew how much it meant to him.

His thoughts and body became hazy as the rhythmic feeling of Iwaizumi’s breathing against his neck and the consistent moving of his chest against his back lulled him to sleep. His last active thought before he went was how perfectly he thought he fit against Iwaizumi.


	4. Running Out Of Excuses

Iwaizumi took the last day of Nationals off school and made the four and a half hour long drive to Tokyo by himself since Oikawa decided their friendship 'didn't _ mean THAT much’  _ to him. He knew his friend was secretly still bitter about their loss to Karasuno a couple years back. He couldn’t exactly blame him. He was too. Sometimes, though, you had to let things go.

The drive wasn’t entirely unpleasant. He had good music and a lot of coffee, and more than that,  _ ample  _ time alone with his thoughts. He normally didn’t have to fight his brain so much, but the stupid thing kept circling back to a certain ginger and anticipation would build up in his body. Each time his mind would flash melted amber he’d kick himself until he eventually started yelling at himself, out loud, to shut up.

When he saw the  _ Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium  _ up ahead it was as though the clouds parted and the sun shone for the first time in a week. He made his way through the many pedestrians in the parking lot and took a spot near the back. He undid his seatbelt and slapped his hands into his cheeks three times, each one harder than the last.

“Okay, Hajime, this is  _ fine _ ,” he breathed.

He threw his head back, closed his eyes and exhaled harshly before getting out of the vehicle and locking the doors. He walked into the building and found a seat in the bleachers by where Hinata would be playing. His heart sat in his throat as he waited to see the little ginger run out onto the big court.

Two exceptional and victorious games later, Iwaizumi made his way to the foyer to wait for Hinata. He hadn’t told him he was coming. Surely the romantic gesture would earn him some brownie points from his friends. Besides that, he just really wanted to see how much Hinata had improved since they last played against each other. The short answer was: exponentially. He was unbelievable.

He stood from his resting place on a bench when he saw the black jacket clad team, running and jumping as they exclaimed and chatted excitedly.

He waved to Hinata as he caught his eye and the ginger barreled into his arms. Iwaizumi readily caught him, keeping him steady by his thighs. What he wasn’t prepared for, though, was the kiss that was pressed to his lips. His heart exploded outwards into about five million butterflies as he melted into the touch.

When Hinata pulled away he talked a mile a minute, “Oh, my god! You came! Thank you! Did you see us out there? We actually won! Not that I’m surprised, but I am  _ so  _ happy!”

Iwaizumi placed him back down and moved the hair out of his face, “Yeah, I saw. You’re… incomparable.”

Hinata beamed up at him and he absolutely glowed. The energy he was giving off was completely warm and contagious. Iwaizumi couldn’t keep the dumb smile off his own face, either. He wrapped his arms back around Hinata once he threw himself into Iwaizumi once again.

“Oh,  _ you  _ came,” Kageyama said coldly.

“I’d hope so!” Yamaguchi said. “That’s what boyfriends do.”

“Yes, Kageyama,” Hinata rounded on him. “That’s what  _ boyfriends  _ do.”

“Okay,  _ I get it.  _ You have a boyfriend,” Kageyama rolled his eyes and dramatically stormed off.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi laughed in his wake.

“Okay, guys! Let’s get on the bus!” Yamaguchi clapped.

“Sir!” They called together before moving.

“Hey, Yams, I’m gonna go with Iwaizumi. Okay?”

“Sure, Hinata! I’ll get your stuff on the bus for you,” Yamaguchi smiled warmly at them. “That was the best I’ve seen you play. Must’ve been your good luck charm being here.”

He clapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder who watched him walk away with a flushed face. He looked down at Hinata once he grabbed his hand.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

Iwaizumi led him out of the building and ran his thumb along the top of the smaller hand in his own. They walked in elated silence to the back of the parking lot, stopping every few steps for Hinata to accept some sort of congratulations. Iwaizumi studied his face each time he was praised and his heart melted when his glow would become stronger and stronger.

He opened Hinata’s door for him once they reached the car, then got in on his own side. They did their belts up and started off. Iwaizumi was still riding the high of  _ really good  _ volleyball and even let Hinata play his terrible music.

Most of the ride passed with only light conversation, lots of singing and silent coffee drinking. It was when they were within half an hour of home that Hinata took a serious tone with him. He frowned and turned to glance at him.

“What’s up?”

“Uh, Nationals is over.”

Oh. So it was. That meant their breakup was soon to be underway. Why did that upset him? It wasn’t like it meant anything. It’d be a lie if he said he didn’t grow very fond of Hinata very quickly. Normally such a quick connection would be passionately rejected by Iwaizumi as they meant nothing good, but there was something different about how Hinata behaved. There was no act or bravado, he was entirely genuine and it was refreshing. He had an open and trusting way about him that Iwaizumi couldn’t help but reciprocate despite his best efforts, so he stopped trying to help it at all.

“Iwa?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he shook his head. “I guess you’re right.”

“I was thinking though…” Hinata stared forward as Iwaizumi perked up.

“Yeah?”

“Graduation is coming up. Only dicks break up with someone right before graduation.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi said gravely. “Well, I’m not a dick.”

“No, I didn’t think so, either.”

He rested his hand over the gear shift and kept one on the steering wheel as he smirked ahead at the road, “So, it’s settled, then.”

“Yes, sir,” Hinata rested his hand over Iwaizumi’s on the gear shift for all of a few seconds before retracting the touch.

Iwaizumi glanced at him as he stared out of the window. Black looked so good on him and contrasted so well against the gold of the medal that hung around his neck. He smiled and reached out and took Hinata’s hand, aggressively placing it under his own on the gear shift. Hinata smiled at him before they both went back to watching their surroundings. 

A few months later, Iwaizumi laid in his bed, ignoring the loud argument his parents were having downstairs. He had his headphones in at full volume, but he could still hear them yelling. He sighed heavily and covered his eyes just as his phone rang. He picked it up and read the caller ID, ‘ _ Shōyō’.  _ He beamed as he let it ring a couple more times then picked it up.

“What’s going on, Shōyō?”

“Hey, Iwa,” he sounded anxious. Iwaizumi’s skin pricked. “Can we meet somewhere?”

“Yeah. Where?”

“How about that cafe we went to after Nationals?”

“Sounds good,” Iwaizumi grinned as he thought about their time there. It was so cozy and sweet. Then the panic reintroduced itself as he remembered Hinata’s tone.

“Okay, I’ll leave now. See you soon,” Hinata said hurriedly.

“Yeah.”

He hung up the phone and sprung up. He lived considerably closer to the cafe so he had some time to get ready. He moved to the shower and washed quickly. When he got out he gelled his hair up then caught his own reflection. He looked so tired. The last semester of his second university year really kicked his ass. The school was in Sendai, so he had two hours worth of commuting each day. Not to mention his parents were suddenly home very often, but Oikawa got picked up by Brazil and left a month or so ago, taking away his closest friend and his safe place. He sighed as he looked away and moved to get dressed.

When he got to the cafe, Hinata was already inside, another sign that something was off. Hinata was always late to everything. He sat down across from him and the ginger didn’t look up. He had his chin on his hands and stared down at an envelope that’d already been opened.

“Hey, what’s happening?”

Hinata said nothing and just passed him the envelope. Iwaizumi held the thick papers in his hands then glanced at Hinata before removing them.

“It’s an acceptance letter to the Tohoku University. Why do you look so bummed out? This is great!  _ And  _ we’ll be classmates.”

“It  _ is  _ great,” Hinata smiled anxiously. “The problem is that Sendai is an hour away by train.”

“I mean, I do it every day. It isn’t that bad.”

“I’d rather live close by.”

“Yeah, me too. But it’s so expensive.”

“I would need a roommate,” Hinata nodded as he sat back.

“That’s a good idea. Why don’t you post an ad or something?”

“That’s the thing,” Hinata picked at the tablecloth. “I have a hypothetical for you.”

A grin played at Iwaizumi’s lips, “Shoot.”

“Say, hypothetically, if I asked you to be my roommate, what would you say? We both need somewhere to go and,” Hinata trailed off and shrugged as he smiled down at where he picked.

“Hm,” Iwaizumi pretended to think. “Hypothetically, I’d say that's a practical and effective solution to both of our issues.”

“Is that a yes?” Iwaizumi’s heart and soul melted into one being once those eyes finally landed on him.

“I think it is.”

“Cool,” Hinata’s posture became relaxed and relieved. “I’ll start looking.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi said. “Let’s get some coffee. I’m beat.”

Hinata smiled, already knowing what he was going to order, “Okay.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“What?”

“It doesn’t really… make sense.”

“What?”

“If we break up after you graduate, I mean. Broken up people wouldn’t move in together.”

“Oh, right,” Hinata frowned back.

“I guess we’ll just have to postpone our hypothetical heart breaks,” Iwaizumi shrugged and laughed off the very real knowledge that those heart breaks wouldn’t actually be too hypothetical anymore.

“Right. To preserve the story.”

“To preserve the story.”

When they moved in they were quickly faced with the reality of being on their own. They didn’t have much money for furniture so their apartment was pretty barren. They could only afford a one bedroom, but they decided they’d just share and get two beds. When the time actually came, and they realized the true limitations to their money, Hinata’s dad helped them move his queen sized bed in and that was what they had. They chose not to dwell on it and would alternate nights on the couch. No big deal.

Hinata was hardly home between practices, work and school. They saw each other at practices, though, as they were actually on the same team for once. Iwaizumi worked as well, just less often. His job paid better as he worked there longer and had received a few raises. So, he took to maintaining the household for the most part. He didn’t mind, Hinata was much busier than he was.

He played music as he danced around the kitchen, preparing dinner. It was one of those rare nights where their schedules lined up and they could actually hang out like regular people. They slipped easily into a few habits. Hinata would buy the groceries, Iwaizumi would cook. Hinata would do the dishes, Iwaizumi would take out the garbage and mop the floors. Each morning they’d silently drink their tea and coffee together. Each evening they’d lay together and watch an episode of  _ Judge Judy _ before going their separate ways to sleep. The routine worked well for Iwaizumi. He was a creature of habit. Once something became familiar and part of his daily life, it was hard to let go of.

Every couple of months their schedules lined up and they each had the evenings off. Iwaizumi’s night started at four and Hinata’s started at five. He always used that hour to tidy and begin cooking, so when the ginger returned home it’d smell like a home cooked meal. He never outwardly said how much he appreciated it, but he didn’t have to. Iwaizumi knew already.

He heard the door unlock, open, shut, relock and Hinata trudged his way into the kitchen. He took his uniform visor off and threw it on the table with a huff. He moved behind Iwaizumi and wrapped his arms around him before stealing a piece of shredded chicken out of the bowl on the counter.

“Hello to you too,” Iwaizumi scoffed.

He turned in Hinata’s arms to face him and the ginger looked up at him. He never got used to those brown doe eyes. They got him the same way every single time. He crinkled his nose at the smell of fast food that came off of Hinata’s clothes.

“Hi,” Hinata said as he chewed.

“How was your shift?”

“Tell me something!” Hinata said loudly as he moved away. “Why are mean old ladies so mean? Like, oh, sorry,  _ Susan _ , do you have to wait literally forty five seconds to get your small orange pekoe tea with seven creams and nine sugars? If you don’t die of old age first, that order will get you!”

“Because they're  _ mean?”  _ Iwaizumi laughed.

“You got me, there,” Hinata pointed at him. “I’ll be right back.

Iwaizumi finished cooking while Hinata showered and changed. He just got the food on the table when Hinata came back. He gaped up at the ginger who wore black slacks, dress shoes, a white button up and a blazer. He leaned in the doorway and mock winked at Iwaizumi.

“Hello,  _ lover,”  _ Hinata barely kept his straight face and devolved immediately into giggles.

“ _ What are you wearing?”  _ Iwaizumi asked.

“You put all this effort in,” Hinata waved his phone in the air, “Plus, every moment is a Snap-able moment. Never waste an opportunity to make those bitches jealous.”

Iwaizumi laughed as he nodded. He watched Hinata rummage around their drawers and pulled out a singular tea candle then lit it. He put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips before perking up again. He left the room and returned with the vanilla scented candle from the bedroom. He placed it next to the tea candle and lit it with a smile. He then went to turn the light on in the living room, and turned the kitchen light off.

Iwaizumi smirked the entire time Hinata attempted to make the ambiance in the room as romantic as possible. His breath hitched in his throat as the ginger confronted him with a finger on his chin. He leaned in so closely that Iwaizumi could feel his breath on his lips as he spoke. A shiver ran down his spine.

“How’s this?”

“Uh, its… It’s good.”

Hinata laughed as he pulled away, “Good!”

Iwaizumi poured them each a glass of wine as they sat down to eat. Hinata documented most everything on his Snapchat before they actually began. Once the phone was away the slid into easy conversation about school, work and volleyball. Kageyama had been picked up by Japan’s youth team, which was cool. Hinata was becoming concerned that he’d never be picked up professionally but Iwaizumi reassured him he was too talented not to be.

Iwaizumi sipped his wine as he watched Hinata tell him a story about nothing important. The candle light lit his face in the most flattering way. The pale yellow light turned his eyelashes and the edges of his hair blond. Every small laugh or smile he flashed did something wicked to Iwaizumi’s heart and he found himself wondering if Hinata felt the same. He built up so much muscle since the first time they met. He looked so strong and sure of himself. Iwaizumi was indescribably happy that the boy in front of him seemed to finally come into himself. Part way through the story, Hinata stretched his hand across the table and Iwaizumi laid his own in it without even thinking. The smaller, warmer hand grasped his without missing as beat as he laughed at his own joke.

Once the food was gone, and half a bottle of wine was down, they moved to start the dishes. Hinata swatted him away.

“Begone, you cooked.”

“Let me help,” Iwaizumi hip checked him.

“Fine, whatever you want,” Hinata cackled as he started the dishes.

Neither of them turned on the light. They made their way through the dishes in relative darkness as they joked around and laughed together. They shared small touches along the way. A pat on the back here, a touch to the forearm there, nothing crazy. Iwaizumi stared down at the dish towel in his hand before having an evil idea. He wound up the fabric and slapped Hinata in the back of the thigh with it. He absolutely delighted at the yelp and shouts of protest.

“Nah, nah, nah,” Hinata turned on him and shrugged off his blazer. “I  _ will _ get you back for that.”

“You and what step ladder?” Iwaizumi smiled in his face.

He barked out laughter as Hinata lunged at him. He was chased all around the apartment, just narrowly avoiding breaking their cheap furniture. They found themselves in a familiar situation in the kitchen. They stood with their hands on either side of the table, ready to go. Iwaizumi’s brain flashed with brilliance as he remembered his genius move to catch him last time. He feigned left, then immediately rebounded right.

Only, that time, Hinata had learned. He lunged left just as Iwaizumi did and managed to avoid him. Iwaizumi’s body rushed with adrenaline as he smirked at the knowledge that the ginger really could learn. He rushed faster and managed to catch Hinata in the living room. He all but jumped on his back and they fell on the floor, just a mess of body parts.

Hinata laughed hard as he kicked his legs, trying to get into an upright position.

“No, absolutely not,” Iwaizumi wheezed as he struggled to sit on his legs to prevent him from moving.

With his legs out of commission, Hinata attempted to get him off with his arms, but Iwaizumi nearly immediately caught them both and pinned them above his head.

Their faces hurt from smiling and they breathed heavily, trying everything to get their lungs to fill and recover from all their yelling and laughter. Hinata stared up at him and the tone in his eyes changed as they all at once became aware of their posture. Iwaizumi let his hands go, but otherwise didn’t move. He didn’t take his gaze off of Hinata’s.

Hinata slowly reached up and took Iwaizumi’s face in his hands. He made no attempt to escape or even move from where his back laid firmly against the floor. He ran his thumb across his soft skin and Iwaizumi leaned into the touch. Hinata moved his hands from his cheeks to the back of his neck before pulling him roughly down into a kiss.

Iwaizumi met the touch eagerly. He kissed Hinata as though he was a starving man and the little ginger was the last food on earth. He pushed all of his pent up emotion into the kiss and knew Hinata was doing the same. His hand found its way to his orange locks as he deepened their connection. Their faces quickly turned slick and their touches became more fervent. Iwaizumi moved off of his legs and pulled Hinata into a sitting position from under his arms. Hinata quickly moved up and pressed their fronts together as he knelt between his parted legs, pulling on the front of his shirt.

“Hey,” Hinata whispered, breath hot on Iwaizumi’s ear. “Why don’t you fuck me? Hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically?” Iwaizumi chucked back.

“You know, like how friends fuck friends.”

“What? Am I gonna say no?”

They woke the next morning, late, with the sun in their eyes. Iwaizumi shielded his face against the invasive light and groaned as he checked the clock. Hinata remained deeply asleep against his chest. His mouth was open as he breathed loudly, eliciting a very genuine smile from Iwaizumi. He leaned down and kissed his hair before moving up and stretching.

He got out of bed and went to shower. When he came back, Hinata was just getting underwear on.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Hinata said as he finished dressing. “That was, uh. Pretty good. Last night.”

“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi smirked as he leaned in the doorway. “I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

“Oh, you aren’t, are you?” Hinata laughed.

“Unfortunately not. You might just have to show me again sometime. So I understand what you mean.”

Hinata snickered at him as he passed by, “Might just have to, then.”

Iwaizumi followed him to the kitchen where he put the kettle on. He leaned in that doorway as Hinata hummed his way around the small room. He had a different glow about him that morning, one he hadn’t seen before but one he wanted to see again and again.

“Are you going to class?” Hinata asked without looking at him.

“No, I only have the one today and it’s ending right now.”

Hinata poured his tea into a travel mug then out it in his bag, “Oh, okay. I’m going to go today. My next class starts in an hour and a half.”

“Sounds good. You work after practice?”

“Hm, yeah. Late, actually. You?”

“I work in like… an hour.”

“Oh,” Hinata laughed. “Maybe I’ll stop by. Make you my coffee bitch.”

Iwaizumi scoffed, “I will  _ never  _ make you coffee.”

“Wanna bet?” Hinata asked, walking by him to brush his teeth.

When he came back he grabbed his jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder. He stood on his tip toes and kissed Iwaizumi on the cheek before shoving his feet in his shoes and leaving.

“Bye!”

“Bye,” Iwaizumi watched him go, hand covering where Hinata kissed.

Around a year later, Iwaizumi was in his last year of university. The workload was heavy and he was constantly busy with some form of work he didn’t actually want to do. They’d built a nice space for themselves over time, decorating it quite personally. They made new friends from around Sendai, and became quite close. They were all almost always together. Some of them were on their volleyball team, others not. They became like a second family. Hinata fell mostly out of contact with his old teammates, especially Kageyama, as they all became terribly busy with their new, separate lives. 

It was such a nice and new experience for Iwaizumi to have a space completely dedicated to himself. Well, not  _ totally  _ dedicated to himself, but if he could share with anyone who wasn’t Oikawa, it’d be Hinata. That being said, Hinata came with a nice perk called ‘sex’, so maybe he’d even prefer him to Oikawa.

They’d kept up their sexual relationship once the seal was broken, figuring if they were committed to their fake relationship, they may as well commit to it. They never spoke about how they really felt. They didn’t know how they really felt if they even wanted to talk about it. At least he assumed Hinata was confused as well.

The ginger previously confided in him that he had a few friends with benefits situations in the past that he ended once the other party admitted their real sentiments. It made Iwaizumi weary to say the least. He kept his true emotions, being that he never actually wanted Hinata to go, locked under the surface.

He sat at the desk in their living room agonizing over a paper when Hinata crashed through the door, startling him to his core. He turned just in time to be consumed by his strong embrace, pressed cheek to cheek together.

“Iwaizumi!”

“Yeah?” He placed his hand over Hinata’s forearm.

“You’ll never guess!”

“You’re right!”

Hinata laughed and squeezed him before letting go. He clapped and spread his arms out, wearing the hugest smile Iwaizumi had ever seen.

“I got picked up by the USA men’s team!”

Iwaizumi jumped up and yelled, “Oh, my god!”

He reclaimed Hinata in his arms and they jumped together while exclaiming their happiness. The celebrated in each other’s elation, then settled into a warm embrace. Iwaizumi’s heart dropped.

“That means you’re leaving.”

“Yeah,” Hinata mumbled into his shoulder.

“When?”

“November.”

“That’s... two months from now.”

“Yeah,” Hinata repeated.

They pulled away from each other and didn’t meet each other’s gazes, but their hands remained together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you much notice,” Hinata said lowly. “With the lease and everything. But I couldn’t just… say no. You know?”

“I’d never expect you to,” Iwaizumi said softly. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Hinata smiled.

He smiled, but it looked sad. Iwaizumi lifted his face by his chin, forcing himself to look into the fiery eyes before him.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Rini or Yuki would be chomping at the bit to share my rent. They practically live here, anyways.”

“Yeah,” Hinata laughed. “That’s true.”

There was something he wasn’t saying, but Iwaizumi didn’t know what. He wanted to take the trouble out of his eyes but didn’t know how.

“Weird to think about how long we postponed our ‘breakup’ for, huh?” Hinata laughed, a pathetic attempt to cover his insecurities.

“Yeah, it was a pretty good run. You were the best fake boyfriend I could’ve asked for.”

Hinata looked back to the ground and his face contorted to a twisted smile, “No, that was you.”

“Well, it isn’t over yet, is it?”

“Huh?” Hinata looked back up.

“We still have two months before you can get rid of me,” Iwaizumi smiled and squeezed his hands. “Let’s make the most of it.”

“How do you propose we do that?”

“I say we set aside as much time as possible for movies, dinner and sex,” Iwaizumi said as he pulled Hinata into his chest.

“I like the way you think Mr. Hajime,” Hinata laughed against his sweater.

“Mr. Hajime? I like the way that sounds.”

“Oh, do you?” He melted under the heat of those intense eyes.

“Yes, sir.”

“Maybe I can show you something else you’d like more.”

“Impossible. But I encourage you to try.”

Hinata snorted and rolled his eyes as he pulled Iwaizumi down into a messy kiss.

November came quickly. The leaves changed and fell during the rush and pressure of their exam season. They were so busy between all of their activities that, despite their best efforts, they hardly had any time for their personal lives or plans. Whenever they got the chance to be intimate, they were so tired and rushed that it never really  _ felt  _ intimate. Iwaizumi made sure to appreciate their time together more than anything. He took to setting his alarm a bit earlier in the mornings so he could just be awake as he held Hinata in their bed.

He would get up early and make his tea for him before he woke up so they didn’t have to waste any shared time on it. He would stay up late so they didn’t have to sacrifice their half hour of  _ Judge Judy  _ at night. They neglected their friends, knowing their time was almost up.

Two nights before Hinata was scheduled to leave, they got together with their friends to say proper goodbyes. It was incredibly emotional, and none of them wanted to leave by the end of the night. Unfortunately, the time came where they had to. There were tears and promises of communication and many, many lingering hugs. Hinata cried after they left, too. It felt so final.

The night before Hinata was scheduled to leave for Tokyo, they got dressed up. Iwaizumi booked off work because he planned on surprising him by taking him to the same restaurant they began their whole debacle in. He gelled his hair in the mirror and ignored the weight in his chest whenever he thought about the morning. When he was finished, he waited for Hinata to get ready in the living room.

He opened his Snapchat to answer some of the conversations, but saw he had a memory notification. He opened it and smiled when he saw a picture of Hinata screaming as geese surrounded him as he attempted to feed the ducks at the park. He laughed at the memory.

_ ‘One year ago?’ _ He thought in disbelief.

He scrolled through his memories and noticed most were photos of the ginger just doing random things. He saved them because they made him feel just really  _ happy.  _ He reached the point where Hinata was not part of his life. Most photos were of either Oikawa or various sunsets. He stared on in a nostalgic stupor before scrolling back up to the first ever photo he saved of Hinata.

He stood on the sidewalk of Johenzi-Dori Avenue in downtown Sendai. His hair was damp from the snow and every light adorning the walkway reflected in his impossibly wide, adoring eyes. His burgundy coat was slightly too big on him, but looked amazing regardless. The emotion that swelled in his chest was poisoned by dread and fear. Soon, those pictures would be all that was left.

He heard Hinata clear his throat, so he lowered his phone and looked up. He laughed as he took in the view. Hinata stood, wearing literally the  _ exact same  _ outfit as their first ‘date’. Black pants, white button up, dress shoes, burgundy coat and cream colored scarf.

“What do you think?” He twirled.

“I didn’t know you still had that jacket,” Iwaizumi smiled.

“Yep! Only wear it on special occasions. I think it fits me better now, so maybe I should break it out more often.

And that was true. It fit snugly around him but it wasn’t too tight. It was very flattering on his figure. Iwaizumi stood and brushed his hair back with his fingers.

“You look great.”

“Thanks! So do you!”

They left their apartment, half of it packed into boxes, and made their way down to the bus stop. Iwaizumi intentionally left the door unlocked, but Hinata hadn’t noticed. They didn’t say anything, but Hinata took Iwaizumi’s hand in his own and that was enough. The night was frigid, much like the first night, but there was no snow. The ground was dry and bare.

They got to the restaurant just in time for their reservation. The hostess sat them at a different table than last time and they took off their coats and scarves.

A different waiter handed them menus and asked what they’d like to drink. That time around they each ordered a glass of wine and thanked him as he left. They joined hands across the table as they read their menus.

“What are you going to get?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Probably what you got last time. I saw it and thought,  _ ‘Aw, that looks good. Wish I’d known _ ’,” Hinata laughed.

“The eggplant parmesan? It  _ is  _ pretty good.”

They ordered the same meal and engaged in light conversation as they waited for their food. Neither brought up the impending departure or the future. Neither wanted to be sad on their last night, but it seemed inevitable.

They discussed their friends over their food when it arrived. They really loved them and Hinata mentioned how much he’d miss them, too. The atmosphere became heavy nearly immediately.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata chuckled. “I guess it’s just on my mind.”

“Don’t worry,” Iwaizumi faked a smile. “We’ll still be here when you come back.”

Hinata faked his own smile right back, “You’re right.”

The weight didn’t lift off their shoulders as they joked and deflected their way through the rest of their meal.

Iwaizumi took out his wallet once the bill came but faltered when Hinata’s hand covered it.

“Let me get it.”

“Don’t be insane,” Iwaizumi laughed. “No, I got it.”

“Please, let me get it,” Hinata stared heavily at him until he conceded and put his wallet away.

Hinata smiled at him as he placed the money on the table. They put their outerwear back on, thanked the waiter then left. They walked down the street, Iwaizumi with his hands deep in his pockets, and watched the store fronts. The lights hadn’t been set up for the holiday season quite yet, but the neon signs in the windows still looked beautiful against Hinata’s person. Anything would look beautiful so long as he stood near it, Iwaizumi thought. He checked his phone for the time.

“We should get home,” he said.

“Oh, okay,” Hinata glanced at him then started making his way to the bus stop.

“Do you want to just walk? It’s nice out.”

“Sure, it isn’t that far,” Hinata smiled.

They joined hands and walked together through the increasingly dark and winding streets. He didn’t speak to Hinata and Hinata didn’t speak to him. There was nothing Iwaizumi could say if he didn’t want to say it all. Putting everything on the line seemed like a stupid move when there was a fat chance he’d be rejected. Dealing with rejection when everything would be over in less than twenty four hours anyway was foolish and unnecessary. So, he said nothing.

Iwaizumi pulled out his phone and answered a couple of texts when they got to their building. When they reached their front door, Hinata pulled out his key and turned it in the lock. He frowned as it did nothing.

“Did you lock the door when we left?”

“Oh, I must’ve forgot. My bad.”

Hinata eyed him strangely as he pushed the door open, “It’s okay. Just don’t make it a habit, bec—“

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the apartment. The lights were out but the entirely living area and kitchen, and well, everywhere that was visible from the front door was lit by about a thousand candles. He looked down at his feet, where he stepped on the beginning of a trail made from rose petals.

He looked at Iwaizumi with a slack jaw and wide eyes only to see him smiling smugly back.

He gently nudged Hinata inside the apartment and shut the door. He slid the burgundy jacket off of his shoulders and unwrapped his scarf from his neck. He tossed them to the couch from where he stood. Iwaizumi absolutely adored the way the ginger’s cheeks flushed. He absolutely craved the way he looked up at him.

“Yuki helped me,” he whispered.

“Tell her I said thanks.”

“I will.”

Hinata moved forward and brought him into a kiss. Then another, then a few more. By the time they were out of breath and hot all over, he pulled away.

Hinata kept his eyes shut and whispered against Iwaizumi’s lips, “This is a fire hazard.”

Iwaizumi fell back from the embrace but still held the ginger in his arms, “This is  _ romance.  _ My way of thanking you for the best fake almost two years of my life.”

“Almost  _ two years,”  _ Hianta repeated slowly.

“Yeah, I had that moment earlier.”

“I guess we better end it with a bang,” Hinata laughed.

“Bad pun,” Iwaizumi snorted as he pulled him back into a kiss.

They awoke the next morning in the same way as usual. Iwaizumi’s alarm woke him extra early and he just laid and watched Hinata as he slept against his chest. He laughed to himself as he peeled the rose petals from his face and hair. He pet his orange hair as his smile turned sour. There wasn’t any more time.

He pulled Hinata closer and pressed his face into his hair. He took in his warmth and his scent as he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt a lump grow in his throat as the fear swelled in his chest. He had to let go of Oikawa first, now he had to let go of Hinata. It’d be the hugest lie in the world to say that shit didn’t  _ hurt.  _ A tear slipped from his eye and fell into Hinata’s hair.

He eventually forced himself up and put the kettle on before getting himself ready. Normally, he’d offer to drive Hinata to Tokyo to catch his plane, but he had a very important exam that day so they had to settle on saying goodbye at the Sendai Train Station. He sighed to himself in the mirror. He didn’t know how to get on.

He was forced to move when the kettle whistled. He moped back to the kitchen and took it off the heat and poured Hinata his favorite tea.

_ “Kocha,” Iwaizumi said, not looking at him. “The smallest splash of milk. I remembered.” _

_ “Wow,” Hinata smiled down at his cup, “Thanks.” _

_ “Don’t thank me. You drink too much of that if I can remember,” Iwaizumi said flatly. _

He hadn’t drank too much of it. Iwaizumi was just doing a poor job of covering up how much attention he really paid to the guy. He choked at the memory, wishing they still had so much time ahead of them. He felt arms around him and jumped.

“Good morning,” Hinata mumbled between his shoulder blades.

“Morning,” Iwaizumi said.

He turned and handed the tea to Hinata who smiled and thanked him as he took it. Iwaizumi watched him sip. Everything they needed to say but refused to hung heavily in the air around them.

He waited with his coat on by the door for Hinata to get ready. Once he emerged with a suitcase and a carryon bag, clad in his outerwear, Iwaizumi’s chest constricted further. Time for reality.

He took a bag from Hinata and they silently made their way to the bus stop once again, then to the train station. Their unspoken words threatened to suffocate them. They stood at the designated platform and bit their cheeks.

Hinata looked down the tracks and pointed, “Looks like this is me.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi breathed, lungs hardly expanding anymore.

The train pulled up and the doors opened, allowing people to disembark and new people to board. They stared at each other for a minute before looking away again.

Hinata reached up and wrapped Iwaizumi in a tight hug, which was nearly immediately reciprocated.

“It isn’t forever, okay?” Hinata asked.

That’s what Oikawa said and Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him since he left.

“Okay.”

“We’ll still talk all the time, right?”

That’s what Oikawa said and Iwaizumi never heard from him.

“Right.”

“I’m really going to miss you,” Hinata dropped his enthusiastic tone and lowered to a whisper.

Iwaizumi squeezed him tighter, “I’m going to miss you, too.”

After a few moments of their embrace, Hinata peeled himself away. He clasped Iwaizumi’s upper arms with both hands.

“Right. Well, goodbye, good friend.”

“Goodbye, Hinata.”

Iwaizumi watched him grab his bags and turn towards the train, heart and soul breaking with every passing second. It was unbearable already. Fear and desperation came to a head within his chest and his mouth made a decision of its own.

“Hinata, wait!”

“Yeah?” He turned back as Iwaizumi caught up to him.

“I have a hypothetical for you.”

Hinata couldn’t stop the smile from taking over his face, “What is it?”

“What if… What if I asked you to wait for me?”

“Wait for you?”

“Yes, in California. What if I told you I would follow you anywhere you went if you’d only wait for me to catch up?”

Hinata stared at him, eyes darting around his face, smile never faltering, “I’d have to say that I’ll see you soon. In California.”

“Yeah?” His voice was hardly audible.

“Yeah.”

They shared a smile and Iwaizumi pulled him into another tight hug. There were still things they wanted to say, but didn’t. The words pulled at the air around them, like plastic bags over their heads. He pulled away, heart sore, but not broken.

“Go catch your train.”

“Yes, sir,” Hinata laughed, picking up his bags and turning for the second and final time. “Goodbye, Iwa!”

“Goodbye!”

Iwaizumi watched him disappear onto the train and stared on as the doors shut. It felt eerily familiar, only a million times more painful. The station made the last call for the departure to Tokyo. He tore his eyes away and turned his back on the train. They’d see each other again. Just as he started walking away he heard Hinata yell.

“Iwaizumi!”

He turned and smiled as he saw Hinata hanging out of the window, one hand cupped around his mouth, the other waving at him.

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi yelled from where he was.

“I have a hypothetical for you, too!”

Iwaizumi laughed as he reapproached the locomotive, “What is it?”

“What if I told you I have fallen wildly, stupidly, and absolutely in love with you?”

Iwaizumi’s soul soared. How long had he waited to hear those words? He reached up and took Hinata’s outstretched hand.

“I would have to say, I love you, too. And... I’ve tried telling you in every interaction we've had for the last eighteen months.”

He pressed his lips to Hinata’s knuckles and they shared a genuine smile, having finally been entirely honest for the first time in two years.

“What if I told you that someday you’re going to marry me?” Hinata laughed.

“I’d say that I would have it no other way, dumbass,” Iwaizumi laughed back. 

Their hands broke apart as the train slowly shifted to gear. They stared longingly at each other from separate sides of the momentum.

Hinata remained outside of the window and waved largely as the train pulled away, “Don’t you dare keep me waiting, Iwaizumi Hajime!”

Iwaizumi waved back until the train was gone. He watched the train leave. He watched it go, then he watched a new one roll in and take its place. The passengers disembarked and swarmed around him. He remained unmoving despite how many people ran into him. He was just one person, in a sea of strangers, with the fullest broken heart he could imagine.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispered to himself as he turned his back on where the man he loved disappeared.


	5. Four Letter Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to handle this with as much accuracy and tact as possible. please let me know if theres anything i can fix, correct or touch up on to increase the accuracy or readability of this chapter!:)  
> additionally, the «» quotations are used around whats meant to be interpreted as being in Japanese, to differentiate between the languages during scenes with English speakers

Iwaizumi landed in California at night. He stepped out of the airport, suitcase in hand, bag strapped around his chest, and stared up at the night’s sky. Not a star in sight, just as Hinata promised. He breathed in the dry air with a smile. He made it. Only took him about a year, but he did it. 

He graduated from his program— with honors, mind you— and obtained a work Visa with the help of Ushijima and his father who would be mentoring him in personal training in the United States.

The last year was very taxing on him. It felt like a trial by fire. He pushed through, though. He was stronger because of it. Oikawa actually came back to visit for a couple months after Hinata left. It was like he’d never gone in the first place. They picked up where they left off and his friend told him all about life as a professional volleyball player— and Iwaizumi would never feel bad about not hearing from him again.

Hinata was far better at staying in contact. They video called at least once a week and even took to sending each other snail mail. Hinata would send him bizarre American foods he’d find and wanted Iwaizumi to try and Iwaizumi would send Hinata the things he was missing from home coupled with postcards and loving sentiments.

Even if they weren’t physically together, their relationship took on a new importance and purity once they came clean to each other. Iwaizumi couldn’t think of a singular thing he wanted more than to hold Hinata in his arms once again.

Despite it being so late, the airport was bustling. It was absolutely crowded and Iwaizumi struggled to find his escort. Soon, the responsibility to find Hinata fell off his shoulders as the ginger yelled.

“Iwaizumi!”

Iwaizumi’s face ached with how hard he smiled. He hadn’t heard that voice in person for far, far too long. His eyes landed on Hinata, who waved at him with both arms. In one hand he held a sign that Iwaizumi cocked his head to read, ‘MR. HAJIME’. He beamed harder at the inside joke and tried to approach his boyfriend cooly, but it likely looked more like a strangled run. He dropped his bags—probably a huge mistake in LAX, but he couldn’t care— then wrapped Hinata tightly in his arms, lifting him and spinning him around.

Hinata laughed before pressing a hundred kisses all over Iwaizumi’s face. The brunet’s heart couldn’t contain itself. It wanted to explode then and there. He allowed Hinata’s feet to finally reconnect to the ground while he grabbed his face with his free hand and kissed a year's worth of anticipation onto his lips.

“God, I fucking missed you,” he whispered after they pulled away.

“Not as much as I missed you,” Hinata whispered back, his grip on Iwaizumi never faltering.

Their intimate moment of reunion was rudely interrupted by a few flashes and camera shutters. Iwaizumi’s head whipped in their direction.

“What the hell?” He glared.

“Oh,” Hinata frowned and blushed. “In the least conceited way possible… They’re kind of obsessed with me.”

Iwaizumi was still angry with them, but, “I can’t say I blame them.”

Hinata laughed and pulled on his arm, “You’re so cute. Let’s go!”

Iwaizumi picked up his belongings once again and walked with Hinata through the mild night to the parking lot. It was already so different there. There were a million cars and people and everyone wore so little on their bodies. A surprising amount of them also wore sunglasses despite it being night. There were lights  _ everywhere _ . Palm trees lined the property and adorned it throughout. He’d never actually seen one of those in person until then. Everything was the color of brick and stucco. He already felt out of place.

They walked for what felt like an eternity through the concrete jungle before making it to Hinata’s car. It was surprisingly very nice. When he’d told Iwaizumi he accomplished his goal of purchasing a used  _ Mustang  _ he hadn’t expected it to be anything more than an old beater. He certainly did not expect it to be black and shiny and practically in mint condition. He threw his bags in the back seat and got in the passenger side.

Hinata did up his seatbelt, “I still suck at driving, so hold on.”

“Oh, god,” Iwaizumi sighed as he did up his own seatbelt.

They were off. Hinata took off, going far too fast for a parking lot, and sped down the side streets rather than getting stuck on the highway. Iwaizumi heeded his warning and gripped the  _ holy shit handle  _ tightly. He kept stomping on the imaginary brake each time Hinata didn’t hit the real one as soon as he should’ve. The neighborhoods passed quickly, they were going too fast. Iwaizumi glanced at the speedometer. They were going 55MPH which meant nothing to him. He leaned in closer and read the kilometres.

“ _ You’re doing ninety? Slow the fuck down!” _

“What?” Hinata laughed as he hit the brakes.

“Jesus, Hinata, we’re in a fifty zone. You're doing  _ forty  _ over.”

“How do you know it’s a fifty zone?”

Iwaizumi went to glare at him then quickly realized he was actually asking. How did he pass his test?

“You’re supposed to assume it’s fifty if you don’t see a sign. But since this is a  _ residential  _ neighborhood you should really only be doing forty.”

“Iwaizumi, I love you, but if we go around here doing  _ forty  _ you won’t get anything done.”

Iwaizumi’s heart melted at the words, regardless of how condescending they sounded in the moment. He supposed Hinata knew more about Los Angeles than he did, but—

“Okay, but don’t do ninety. You’re looking at a strike on your license for reckless driving.”

“Alright,” Hinata groaned playfully. “I  _ guess  _ we can compromise.”

Iwaizumi smiled at him before looking back to the road. They went through a few stop signs before Hinata spoke again.

“I’m just saying if it were  _ me  _ driving home from Tokyo it’d only take like two hours.”

“That’s obscene,” Iwaizumi said flatly. 

Hinata laughed and rested his foot up by the dash as he rolled down his window. Iwaizumi cringed. He genuinely didn’t understand how he was still alive if he’d been driving like that all this time. He chose not to push the topic at the moment, not wanting to spend his first hours back with Hinata lecturing him. He kept himself alive for that long with his bad habits, so what were the odds they’d die tonight?

“You’re gonna love the apartment,” Hinata cackled. “I started off naming the roaches, but eventually gave up. There’s just too high of a turnover rate.”

“Wow, great pitch,” Iwaizumi laughed.

His insides squirmed at the thought of living amongst bugs. He started wondering if it was worth being there, but then he thought about his new salary and the man beside him. Definitely worth it.

“Don’t fall too in love with it though, we won’t be staying long.”

“Oh? How come?”

“I’ve been staying because the rent is cheap, but I’ve been saving up so we can get an actual house soon.”

“Really?”

He was surprised by the responsibility he demonstrated. It wasn’t necessarily that Hinata was  _ irresponsible,  _ it was more that Iwaizumi couldn’t see him having that kind of foresight. He was a very spontaneous, ‘ _ we'll cross that bridge when we get to it’ _ sort of person.

Hinata groped for his hand until Iwaizumi just offered it up. He took their hands and put them on the gear shift, “I’ve already got a few places we can look at.”

“Wow, you’re prepared. How much have you saved?”

Hinata glanced at him as his face flushed. He looked back towards the road and chewed at his lip.

“Uh,” he laughed nervously. “About ninety six thousand.”

“ _ What?” _

“Yeah,” he laughed again. “I’ve been really scrimping. You come to love the roaches, but you don’t wanna live with them forever.”

“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi shook his head. “ _ Ninety six thousand?” _

“Yeah,” Hinata repeated, more embarrassed by the second.

“In a year?”

“Mostly. Some is from back home.”

“You were saving for a house back when we lived together?”

“Of course. Gotta think ahead,” he tapped his head.

“That’s insane. How much do you make?” Iwaizumi didn’t care about how rude he sounded.

“Around a hundred and twenty thousand a year.”

“That’s  _ wild,”  _ Iwaizumi shouted. “That’s a lot of fucking money. I mean,  _ every year?” _

“That is how salaries work, baby. I thought I misheard it at first too,” Hinata squeezed his hand, trying to translate his desire for him to stop asking about money.

“I thought my salary was impressive,” Iwaizumi thought out loud. “I mean, Ushijima’s father, Utsui, told me that because of my experience level I’d normally only make about sixty thousand a year, but since I’m working with him I can expect to make around ninety four thousand.”

“That  _ is  _ impressive, Hajime.”

“Yeah, just comparatively…”

Hinata shook his head and squeezed Iwaizumi’s hand again. Time to change the subject.

“I thought we’d cook when we get home. What do you think? It’ll be just like old times.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Iwaizumi smiled at him, effectively pulled out of his daydream about numbers. “What’d you get?”

“Salmon, veggies and the like.  _ Though _ , if you want something, I don’t know, more  _ American _ on your first night, I can make like… fajitas?”

“Are fajitas an American thing?”

“They’re definitely not the same here as they are back home. It’ll blow your mind,” Hinata laughed.

“Fajitas it is. You know what they say,  _ when in Rome  _ and all that.”

“Sounds good,” Hinata slapped the steering wheel. “We’ll make fish when you start feeling homesick by the end of the week.”

“What makes you say that?” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Oh, it isn’t personal. Culture shock is  _ real.  _ There’s just so much stuff here you probably couldn’t imagine if you tried. The stuff I sent you didn’t even scratch the surface.”

Iwaizumi thought back to the can of spray cheese, canned  _ ham,  _ stringable cheese sticks— what was up with Americans and cheese?

“Noted,” Iwaizumi suddenly felt ill. “Do you really like it here?”

“Yeah! It’s not bad. Everyone seems to be in a rush and no one really stops to just talk. Something else you’ll notice is how different the etiquette is here. Also, the leftovers people leave. That time we went on that date and I had to bring the cake home? Only tried it ‘cause it was an Italian restaurant,” Hinata cackled.

“Wow,” Iwaizumi frowned deeper. “Sounds like it’ll take some getting used to.”

“It isn’t so bad. I’ve held onto my deeply ingrained politeness because the people who appreciate it  _ really  _ appreciate it. There’s tons of good people here. Way more than bad ones. People may seem impatient, but they’re just busy. They’re all rushed and worked hard. I’ve made a few friends and they’ve told me they have to eat their lunches at their desks because there’s no time to actually stop working.”

“What? Actually?”

“The people are good. Most people I’ve asked for help were more than happy to do so. You’ll make friends easily. Americans are friendly. Besides, your English is  _ way  _ better than mine. That’s where most of my issues came from.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi gripped his churning stomach. Hinata’s erratic driving didn’t help.

They rode in silence the rest of the way. Iwaizumi just stared out the window, watching people, places and things pass by. Hinata pulled up to a short apartment complex and parked by a chain link fence. Iwaizumi didn’t fail to notice that his car was by far the nicest in the lot.

“Don’t you get worried leaving your car out here?”

“Nah, not really. I kind of was at first, but nothing’s happened yet.”

Iwaizumi hummed before getting out of the car. Hinata took his suitcase from him and unlocked the door to the building. They made their way to the top floor and stood outside unit 43. Hinata put the suitcase down and fished around for the keys in his pocket. He unlocked the door then dropped the keys in Iwaizumi’s hand.

“Those are yours. The thick one is for the front door, the small one is for this door and the car key is… for the car.”

“Thank you,” Iwaizumi clutched them tightly. He’d need to take a driving test first, but the sentiment was there. 

The anxiety built in him as Hinata led him inside. He stared at the floor, afraid to see what the space actually looked like. In their video chats he’d only ever seen the one blank, off-white wall. He was scared to see that Hinata was secretly living in a barren apartment with only a milk crate and small 7x7 black and white television. The door clicked loudly behind them as it fell shut and Hinata locked it again.

“Come on!” Hinata laughed then put on his best American accent, “Check out the new digs, bro.”

“You’re such a dumbass,” Iwaizumi laughed. “No actual human being talks like that.”

Hinata laughed right alongside him, “Whatever, man. For real though, what do you think?”

Iwaizumi braced himself and looked up. It was only a studio, meaning there were only really two rooms, the bathroom and everything else. He had psychedelic looking tapestries hung on the walls everywhere that photos didn’t cover. His bed was in the far corner, directly beside a couch. A decent television sat on a low coffee table. He even had a desk where his laptop sat open and a Japanese flag hung above it. The kitchen looked well maintained, if a bit grimy. It seemed like the type of grime that remained despite however much bleach you threw at it, though.

“It’s nice, Hinata,” Iwaizumi breathed.

He was having a hard time considering how Hinata actually built a life for himself so far from home. He  _ lived _ there. Every day. Iwaizumi wondered how long it would take for him to stop feeling like a visitor.

“Wanna make some fajitas?” Hinata danced up to him.

“Yeah, show me,” Iwaizumi said, allowing himself to be dragged the entire three feet to the kitchen.

Hinata directed him through the steps, assisting when necessary, praising him the entire way. Occasionally, Iwaizumi would go to do something to ‘Japanize’ the food and Hinata would correct him.

“This is the best part of all,” Hinata said as he hovered over the frying beef. “It’s just a packet of spices!”

“A packet of spices?”

“Yep! Premixed from the store. Perfect every time! It’s up in that cupboard on the top, can you grab it?”

Iwaizumi laughed as he moved to the cupboard, “What, can’t reach?”

He pulled the cabinet open and recoiled immediately, “Argh!”

“Wha—“ Hinata turned and made eye contact with a roach on the door. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I should’ve warned you. That’s Brenda. She doesn’t move much. Kinda desensitized to humans.”

“You  _ named  _ it?” Iwaizumi stared at him in horror.

“I wasn’t joking. She’s been here longer than me, so it’d be rude to kill her.”

Hinata walked by him and jumped to reach the spice container. Once he got it he shut the cabinet door, leaving ‘ _ Brenda’  _ be.

“They’re in the cabinets? Where the food is?”

“They like the dark,” Hinata nodded solemnly. “I learned very quickly to keep my food in tupperware after I poured a bowl of cereal one morning.”

A shiver ran down Iwaizumi’s spine. He regretted everything.  _ Thinking  _ about seeing roaches and actually  _ seeing  _ them were entirely different things. He knew that now.

“They don’t do much,” Hinata shrugged. “I’ll deal with them for you.”

“Do they get in your bed?”

“I haven’t experienced it yet.”

The ‘ _ yet’ _ rattled around in Iwaizumi’s brain as another shiver quivered his spine. He hated how that sounded. He moved back to the frying pan and tried to ignore his rising anxiety. 

Hinata brought down two plates from another seemingly roachless cupboard. He threw a tortilla on each one and topped them with fillings. He wrapped Iwaizumi’s then his own.

When the brunet picked up his fajita, Hinata hurriedly told him to stop. He pulled out his phone and opened his Snapchat.

“Okay ready,” he smiled as he began filming.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes with a smile before trying it out. His face scrunched up then he nodded as his smile returned.

“That’s really good,” he said around his food, hand covering his mouth.

Hinata fussed with the video for a second before ultimately captioning it, ‘Reunited’ with a bunch of hearts and sending it off to his story.

“Right? American Mexican food? The bomb. Easily my favorite thing.”

“I can see why,” Iwaizumi said.

  
  


After the dishes were washed they settled into the bed and Hinata turned on the television. He went into the DVR and Iwaizumi couldn’t contain his laughter.

“Is it  _ all Judge Judy?” _

“Yeah! I recorded them all. I didn’t feel right watching them without you.”

Iwaizumi looked over at him, “That’s really sweet.”

“Right?” Hinata squeezed his eyes shut as he laughed, “Let’s watch this wicked old lady  _ tear  _ regular people apart.”

“Good idea,” Iwaizumi said as he wrapped his arms around Hinata and pulled him into his chest.

He squinted at the screen, not being able to understand what was going on at all. He looked down at his boyfriend who watched intently, seemingly taking in every word. When had Hinata become so good at English that he didn’t need the subtitles?

“Hey, can we turn the subtitles on? I don’t… understand what’s happening.”

“Oh, right! Sorry,” Hinata moved forward and fixed the problem.

He still couldn’t focus on the berating woman on the television because Hinata flooded all of his senses. His hairs tickled Iwaizumi’s chin and his heartbeat thumped into his chest. He smelled like coconut and various fruits. The warmth he radiated was greatly missed and even more greatly appreciated. He looked down through the orange flyaways to what he could see of his face. Mostly just forehead, eyelashes and the tip of his nose, but it was more than he could’ve dreamed of seven months ago. He ran his hand over Hinata’s chest, just appreciating the very real sensation of how his cotton shirt slipped between their skin.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Hinata whispered, eyes fixed on the screen.

“Me neither.”

“You really followed me to the United States.”

“I really did,” Iwaizumi sighed against the top of his head. “It worked quite nicely as it was always in the back of my mind.”

“What if I get traded?”

“What?”

“What if USA doesn’t want me anymore and I get moved to… I don’t know, Argentina?”

“Then we go to Argentina.”

Hinata slunk further into his chest and hid his smile behind the collar of his t-shirt. He ran his hand along Iwaizumi’s forearm, allowing himself to feel fully secure in his strong grasp for the first time. There was no more risk. They could finally be authentically together. Heat grew in his chest and tears swelled in his eyes when he really let that thought sink in. They wasted so much time. Years.

“Three years,” Hinata said.

“Two and a half.”

“Two and ten months.”

“Okay, three years.”

“We’re so stupid.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi laughed. “Yeah, we are.”

Hinata turned in his arms and stared up at him, “I’m not wasting any more time with you.”

“I’d hope not.”

“No,” Hinata said as he grabbed his face and moved onto his knees between Iwaizumi’s legs. “I’m not wasting another second.”

Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed and he put his hands on Hinata’s hips, “Good?”

“Marry me.”

“I— What?”

“Marry me.”

“I just got here. I mean, we haven’t even seen each other in a year and—“

“I love you. It isn’t a hypothetical. I’ve loved you for years. I can’t believe I’d ever love someone like this again. So, please, marry me. You do love me, don’t you? You came all the way to California, even if you said you didn’t love me it would be a lie.”

“I do love you,” Iwaizumi sat up further. “Non-hypothetically. I really, genuinely mean that. I do love you.”

“Then…” Hinata sat back on his feet and inhaled sharply. “Marry me.”

Iwaizumi studied his face, searching for any sign of doubt, any sign of anything, but— he really meant the words he was saying. His eyes held every ounce of fire and intensity as the first time he looked into them, what?  _ Five years  _ ago? Five years.

Even if at the time he didn’t want to admit it, the passion and brute, aggressive love Hinata held for volleyball drew Iwaizumi in immediately. Right from the very beginning he was aware of the fact that Hinata was an open, genuine and honest as hell person. Somewhere along the way he came privy to the knowledge that his ‘ _ spur of the moment, drunken  _ **_mistake’_ ** wasn’t that at all. He reluctantly accepted at some point that he kissed Hinata that night at Oikawa’s party because there was an opportunity and he  _ wanted  _ to.

It resonated deeply within him when Hinata said, ‘ _ I can’t believe I’d ever love someone like this again’,  _ because, neither could he.

Years ago, he didn’t believe he  _ could _ fall in love. And he didn’t care. He had other priorities. Love didn’t care about all of that, though. It didn’t care about his plans or his goals or anything else. It barged its way rudely into Iwaizumi’s heart and brain and sat tightly, not allowing itself to be ignored. It was as if it continuously hit him over the head with a tree branch and called him his bitch.  _ But he didn’t care.  _ He said it himself: if it wasn’t endgame, then what was the point?

‘ _ This,’  _ he thought. ‘ _ This is the point right here.’ _

“This isn’t how a marriage proposal is supposed to be done,” Iwaizumi laughed.

Hinata squinted at him, but a grin played at his lips, “Damn the rules. We love each other and that’s enough.”

“Show me a ring and you get a yes,” Iwaizumi smirked.

Hinata’s gaze turned dead serious as he leaned over and opened the drawer to the bedside table. He threw a small black box in Iwaizumi’s hands. The brunet slowly opened it and he swore to god the thin diamond encrusted ring sparkled.

“Got it on my first pay day. Try me.”

Iwaizumi’s smile fell flat, “I don’t know.”

Panic washed over Hinata’s face and he recoiled, “What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“I— What? Why?”

Hinata stared into Iwaizumi’s blank face, panic taking over his senses. Had he done something wrong? What was it? Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“Because, don’t you remember?” Iwaizumi’s expression broke and the corner of his mouth tilted upwards.

The panic died down some in Hinata’s body as he narrowed his eyes. He sensed some kind of bullshit coming up.

“You told me all that time ago that you could just  _ never  _ fall for  _ anyone _ who has a  _ Godzilla _ poster on his door. But then I recall  _ you  _ being the one to buy a new one and put it up when we moved in together. Oh! Oh!” Iwaizumi was getting into the groove of it as he kept a goofy grin on his face and attempted to close the distance Hinata kept between them as he glared.

“What about when you said, ‘ _ Oh, Iwaizumi, I know I’m the greatest but I'll have to reject any non-hypothetical advances’ _ ,” Iwaizumi laughed as he teased. “I don’t know. You’ve changed, man.”

Hinata shoved him back by the shoulder, a smile finally passed across his own mouth, “Oh, shove it!”

They wrestled on the bed, and that time, Hinata actually won. He had Iwaizumi’s hands pinned to the side and his legs under his own. He built up a good amount of muscle playing volleyball professionally.

“I guess this means  _ you’re  _ bottoming tonight?” Hinata snickered.

“Wanna bet?” Iwaizumi struggled under him, laughter erupting from his throat.

“Hm, no. I’d rather you just be good and take it.”

The laughter died off immediately as Iwaizumi saw the serious look in Hinata’s eye, “Wait. For real?”

Hinata’s eyes twinkled, “Try something new.”

“I just moved to a new continent,” Iwaizumi said flatly.

Hinata laughed as he leaned down and captured his lips against his own. It was intense and hungry. Between the kiss, the demand of marriage and looming threat Hinata bounced out, Iwaizumi’s heart suffered. He wasn’t sure what  _ exactly  _ happened to Hinata in the last year or where the new dominant energy came from, but he wasn’t sure if he cared too much. Sometimes in a same-sex relationship, it was nice to play the opposite role you normally did. He was a man, but damn if he didn’t like being the little spoon or receiving flowers or having affection and effort spent on him. He was human, too.

He was sure that went for Hinata, too. He used to be the less dominant one, but he was also a man. Surely he enjoyed opening jars Iwaizumi couldn’t get and doing the pampering rather than constantly being on the other end of it. Without a doubt he’d like topping, too. Who wouldn’t?

“Okay,” he said against Hinata’s lips.

“Okay, what?”

“I’ll switch with you.”

“Wait, really?” Hinata pulled away.

Once he was absolutely certain about the confident nod Iwaizumi gave him and found no doubt in his body language, he laughed heartily.

“Cool!”

“Also, okay.”

“Okay… what?” Hinata cocked his head.

“I’ll marry you.”

“Really?” Hinata beamed.

“I’d have it no other way, dumbass.”

Hinata laughed hard as he searched for the box with the ring. When he located it, he opened it and slid it on Iwaizumi’s finger, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Hinata leaned down and caught Iwaizumi in a passionate kiss.

Hinata fell on top of Iwaizumi with a huff. He was slick with sweat and red in the face, radiating heat. Iwaizumi pulled him into his arms and kissed him on the temple.

“Good?”

“Understatement,” Hinata puffed. “You?”

“Different. But way better than I thought.”

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Next time?” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“Definitely next time.”

They laid together, Hinata catching his breath and Iwaizumi rubbing his back. Once the ginger regained his composure, Iwaizumi noticed he was falling asleep. He poked him hard in the ribs.

“C’mon, lazy, we need to shower first.”

Hinata groaned against his chest and kept his eyes shut, “ _ Why _ , though?”

“I don’t know why you’d want to sleep in this mess, but I don’t.”

“It’s like  _ five thirty in the morning.” _

“Good thing we have the day off, then, right?” Iwaizumi said as he pushed them up, ignoring Hinata's persistent protests.

They made their way to the shower, energetically and reluctantly. Iwaizumi flipped on the light and reached for the shower curtain. As soon as he made contact with it, Hinata spoke.

“Oh, hey—“

“ _ JESUS!” _

Iwaizumi stared in disgust at the roaches as they scuttled for a new secure and dark place to exist.

“You need to give them more time if you don’t wanna see them,” Hinata stretched and yawned.

“We are out of here  _ this month,” _ Iwaizumi hissed at the shower.

“I still need like 4K more before we can afford anything,” Hinata said flatly as he started the water.

“You’re not the only one with savings,” Iwaizumi said. “I’ve saved twelve thousand.”

He sounded embarrassed by the number, but Hinata gaped at him. The shorter man hopped over to him and threw his arms around his neck.

“You beautiful bastard!” Hinata kissed his cheek. “That changes everything!”

“How expensive are homes around here?”

“Expensive,” Hinata said as he got in the water. “There’s one I’m looking at that’s been on the market for a while. It’s a bit far from work but I’m not concerned about it. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, detached. $710K, though.”

Iwaizumi still didn’t really have a grasp on the American dollar. He got in the water and grabbed the shampoo. Hinata took in his perplexed expression and laughed.

“About 74,300,000 yen. I figured we’d have this conversation.”

Iwaizumi sighed as he washed Hinata’s hair, “I guess that’s not bad for where we are. Right?”

“No, especially not for that house. I’ll show you after.”

“Please.”

They finished washing up and dried when they got out. Iwaizumi’s hand hovered over the light switch, not wanting to invite the roaches back. Hinata seemed to sense that and flipped it off for him with a laugh.

“Species come and go, but roaches? Roaches are forever!”

Iwaizumi shook his head as he followed him back out to the everything-room. Hinata glanced at his clock.

“We have a choice now.”

“What choice?”

“We can either get like, two hours of sleep, or say screw it and stay up.”

“I thought you had the day off?”

“Of work? Yes. But I may have been an idiot and invited some of my friends and teammates over to meet you,” he smiled sheepishly.

“At nine in the morning?”

“I told you, Americans are busy people. It’s the only time that worked for all of us.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi said slowly. “Who are they?”

“I only managed to get three of them,” Hinata laughed. “There’s two teammates, Cole and Ryan, who I’m sure you remember me complaining about. Then there’s my friend Talia. She’s so cute, you’ll love her!”

“Three isn’t bad,” Iwaizumi said as he got dressed. “I can handle three.”

“Cole doesn’t talk much. He’s kind of like the Kageyama of our team, just nicer. Talia and Ryan are kind of like Tanaka and Nishinoya, though. They talk a  _ lot.” _

“Am I going to be able to understand them?”

“Maybe not sometimes, but Talia was actually my ESL teacher. That’s how we met.”

“Right.”

“So, if anyone can help you understand, it’s her. Or I can translate for you.”

Iwaizumi nodded hesitantly. He didn’t know he was  _ that _ good at English, but he should’ve probably guessed. Hinata pulled him onto the couch after he got dressed as well. They plowed their way through several episodes of  _ Judge Judy _ before the buzzer promptly kicked Iwaizumi’s heart into his mouth.

Hinata jumped excitedly and buzzed his friends in. Or, once the door opened, Iwaizumi realized it was just  _ friend.  _ Singular. He’d have to get used to cars being the major mode of transportation.

A bubbly looking blonde bounded in the door and hugged Hinata tightly.

“Hi! Oh, my god, it’s been forever! How’ve you been?”

Hinata startled Iwaizumi by speaking nearly entirely fluently in English, “Talia, it’s been like, a week. I’m good though. Iwaizumi is excited to meet you!”

She pulled away and immediately made eye contact with Iwaizumi who wanted to shove his head through the floor. Hinata told him his English was better than his, but neglected to mention how he’d been taking lessons and speaking it daily. He supposed maybe he should’ve just realized that himself, especially after all the hints that were dropped. It was hard to believe how completely  _ fluent _ he sounded though. He didn’t seem to struggle even a little to keep up with the fast talking blonde.

“Hajime Iwaizumi?”  _ High-gum-ee Eye-wuh-zoo-me.  _ “Wow! I finally get to meet you!”

She all but ran up to him and gently pushed his outstretched hand away and leaned down to hug him while Hinata covered his embarrassed face. Iwaizumi tapped her back awkwardly and stood once she pulled away.

“Uh, hello, Talia,” he cringed at how much more pronounced his accent was compared to Hinata.

Why was he embarrassed, though? He shouldn’t be. Speaking two languages at whichever level— even his incredibly low one— was way better than only speaking one. He took the mandatory English classes in high school, but left it there. He was really kicking himself for that now. 

“You just got in last night, right? That must’ve been a long flight! I guess it’s too soon to ask you how you’re liking it here, but I really wanna know!”

He blinked slowly at her, the words going in one ear and going out the other. He opened his mouth to say something when the buzzer rang again. Saved by the bell, literally.

She hovered around Hinata as he buzzed whoever it was in. The door opened momentarily to reveal two new faces. They were both considerably tall men, one with black hair, one with brown. The black haired man had his hands in his pockets while the brunet waved enthusiastically to Hinata.

“You guys carpooled?” Hinata asked.

“Yep! Ask Cole how happy he is about it!” The brown haired man, Ryan by order of deduction, pointed to his friend.

“How happy are you about it, Cole?” Hinata teased.

“Enthralled,” Cole said flatly.

While Cole greeted Talia with a kiss on the cheek, Ryan bounced to the kitchen. To Iwaizumi’s absolute shock and horror, he opened Brenda’s cupboard and  _ cooed  _ at the damn thing.

“Hi, Brenda! Aw, gaining weight, are ya?”

Iwaizumi shot Hinata a pained look, but the ginger was too busy laughing. His vision was cut off by Cole standing in front of him. He stuck out his hand which Iwaizumi shook.

“I’m Cole Horowitz. Nice to meet you.”

Before he could respond, Cole’s hand was replaced by Ryan’s, “Yes! Hi! I’m Ryan, Hinata’s teammate. It’s awesome that you’re  _ finally  _ here! Hinata  _ never ever  _ shuts up about you!”

Talia hit him on the arm, “Hey, don’t say it like that.”

Ryan looked apologetically at her, “My bad.”

Iwaizumi was growing more overwhelmed by the second. He could follow along with English movies if they had subtitles because reading was a lot easier than hearing and he could rewind it when he needed to. These people didn’t come with subtitles, though, and he was lost.

“Hinata said you used to play,” Cole said. “What position? I’m a libero.”

“I’m a setter!” Ryan pointed proudly at his chest.

He caught the last word. It was similar enough. He was talking about volleyball. But what was the rest of it?

He looked up at Hinata, imploring for help. Hinata smiled half apologetically, half fondly, before translating for him. His friends stared on, apparently startled.

“Oh,” Cole said. “Sorry.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi dismissed with a shake of his hand. He had to practice to get better, but if he didn’t know then he didn't know. He looked at Hinata, “Autosaidohittā.”

“Outside hitter,” Hinata said with a small smile.

“Outside hitter,” Iwaizumi repeated. The words were pretty close. “Easy.”

“Wow, that’s awesome!” Ryan gushed. “Just like Hinata!”

“Just like Hinata,” Iwaizumi said, cursing as his ‘ _ L’  _ sound came out wrong _.  _ Japanese just didn’t have that sound. It was a stupid sound.

Talia busied herself in the kitchen, preparing them all tea. Hinata engaged in rapidfire conversation with his teammates for a few minutes, which Iwaizumi eagerly tuned out. He needed to learn, sure, but it was too much too fast.

“Hajime?”

His attention snapped back to focus and the boys were all looking at him. Talia held out a teacup to him, which he took and thanked her for before cursing, shaking his head and repeating it in English.

“You’re welcome!” She sat on Hinata’s bed.

Iwaizumi’s face flushed as he recalled what happened on that bed only hours earlier. He retreated within himself. Hinata caught on to Iwaizumi’s excluded vibes and addressed him in Japanese with a light laugh, «You remind me of Kageyama right now.»

«Please,  _ don’t  _ compare me to Kageyama.»

“Kageyama?” Ryan asked.  _ Cage-ee-yam-ah. _

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said to him. “Japan setter.” 

“I’m familiar,” Ryan scowled as he gripped his cup tighter.

Cole shook his head at his friend disapprovingly, “How do you know Kageyama, Iwaizumi?”

Cole actually pronounced both of their names entirely correctly and Iwaizumi smiled at him, but before he could answer, Talia did.

“They grew up in the same city, dummy. They played together.”

“No,” Iwaizumi shook his head, and they all turned their attention on him. His face flushed. “Prefecture. No city.”

“Yeah,” Hinata said. “Think of it like states. We’re from the same region but Iwa’s hometown was actually about an hour from mine.”

“Oh,” Talia groaned. “I’m so sorry.”

“No worries,” Hinata said easily. “Also, Iwa was on a separate team. I swear I’ve told you this before.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant!”

“You played with Oikawa, if I remember right,” Cole turned back to him.

Iwaizumi eyed Ryan weirdly as his scowl deepened, “Yes.”

Cole noticed his gaze, “He’s just mad because they’re better setters than him.”

“They are  _ not  _ better setters!” Ryan put his cup down and crossed his arms. “It’s like they're not even human.  _ That’s  _ the problem.”

Hinata translated for Iwaizumi and the brunet laughed then nodded.

“Besides, once we get  _ our  _ quick down, we’ll be unstoppable!” Hinata high fived Ryan who was suddenly happy once again.

They broke off into their own conversation about their new move and Iwaizumi looked back into his tea. He had no idea what was going on, and gave up trying to. The couch sank next to him as Cole sat down. He looked up and met his dark eyes.

“Iphone?” He asked, pointing to his own phone.

Iwaizumi actually knew that one and took out his own phone, “Yes.”

Cole demonstrated on his own phone, without using words, how there was a built in translation app and encouraged Iwaizumi to open his as well.

Cole used the talk to text function, then showed his phone to Iwaizumi, “I know it’s hard at first, but you’re doing great. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Iwaizumi did the same on his phone and held it up to Cole, «Thank you. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.»

“The United States don’t usually do outside recruitments, but they thought Hinata would be the only hitter alive who could work perfectly with Ryan.”

«Is he a tyrant setter like Kageyama?»

“No, he works well with anyone. But they thought Hinata could really pull out his full potential.”

«That’s amazing.»

“ _ Wait a second!”  _ Talia shrieked as she flew up from her resting place.

Everyone went silent as she hurriedly approached Iwaizumi and grabbed his hand with the phone in it. He dropped his phone onto the couch and stared at her in astonished silence. She examined the ring for all of two seconds before turning on Hinata without ever letting go of Iwaizumi’s hand.

“ _ Shōyō! Why wasn’t this,”  _ she waved Iwaizumi’s hand around, “ _ the FIRST thing you told us?” _

“Talia,” Cole scolded, “Let go of him.”

She blushed as she dropped Iwaizumi’s hand, “I am  _ so  _ sorry.”

“Fine,” Iwaizumi said, but his face said it was anything but.

“Shōyō!” She squealed. “You’re engaged?”

“Yep.”

She ran over and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back but his face beat bright red, “Thank you.”

As she and Ryan busied themselves fussing over that, Cole turned back to Iwaizumi and handed him his phone from where it fell on the cushion.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

Cole spoke into his phone once again, “She mispronounced your name earlier. You should correct her next time.”

«It doesn’t really matter.»

“I’m an immigrant from Germany. My real first name is Obrecht, but when I was a kid growing up here, no one could say it. I begged my parents to change it for years and they finally did. Now that I’m an adult, I wish I kept my real name and corrected people every time until they got it right.”

Iwaizumi frowned down at the words in front of him, «You’re right.»

“You want to know something funny?”

«Yes.»

“Obrecht actually means ‘famed for his heritage’.”

Cole laughed, but it sounded sad. Iwaizumi couldn’t laugh along with him. When Cole noticed that Iwaizumi didn’t find it funny, he spoke again.

“Be proud of who you are and never let anyone mispronounce your name. Look them in the eye and say, ‘That’s my name. Why won’t you learn it? It is a big deal.’”

Iwaizumi smiled at him. He already liked this guy. He seemed to have strong principles.

«Thank you. I appreciate it.»

“No need to thank me. It will get easier.”

Ryan took an embarrassing amount of time to realize that Hinata wasn’t actually listening to whatever he was telling him. He was in fact staring at Iwaizumi speak with Cole in the same way he once had to with a large smile on his face. They seemed to be getting along, which was huge, because Cole didn’t often put in effort when it came to socialization.

The American setter followed his gaze and shared in his smile. Then Iwaizumi’s phone rang loudly. He stared down at the screen before breaking into a devilish grin.

“Mind, everyone?” Iwaizumi looked around.

When everyone shook their heads he answered the call, «Shittykawa!»

“Shittykawa— Oikawa?” Ryan yelled as he dashed to get behind Iwaizumi.

He sat directly beside him and leaned over to see the screen where Oikawa sat out in the sunshine.

«Iwa-chan!» Oikawa smiled at the camera. «You didn’t tell me you were going to the US of A! To think, I have to hear from the tabloids!» He held up his phone, which showed an Instagram post from a volleyball gossip page. In it, Iwaizumi kissed Hinata at the airport.

«I’m actually living here now,» Iwaizumi smiled back.

«Hold on,  _ what?  _ Why wouldn’t you tell me that?»

«I wanted to. You’re always just so busy.»

«I can make time! You just have to text me!»

Iwaizumi’s face flushed. That was true.

«I’m sorry.»

«No need to apologize, Iwa-chan, ju— Hold on. Are you— Is that—?» Oikawa squinted as he leaned closer to his computer. «Ryan Nyholm?»

“Hi, Oikawa!” Ryan waved enthusiastically.

«Chibi-chan!» Oikawa demanded.

Cole moved aside so Hinata could lean in on the other side of Iwaizumi, «Hi, Oikawa!»

«Ask  _ Ryan  _ how his jump floaters are going.»

Ryan held his hand up to Hinata and narrowed his eyes at the screen, “No need, Hinata. I heard that  _ loud and clear.  _ How’s your  _ knee, you li—“ _

Hinata pushed Ryan away by the forehead with a laugh, “Stop it.”

Iwaizumi looked between them before settling on Oikawa, «I’m engaged.»

Oikawa’s face shifted between several emotions before settling on overjoyed, «I’m the best man. Dibs. Tell me I’m the best man. I’m the best man, right?»

«Don’t be shitty. Of course you are.»

He threw his arms up triumphantly and shouted before settling back down, «I was genuinely worried for a long time that I’d never get the opportunity to be anything in your wedding because it’d never happen. Way to prove me wrong, Iwa-chan!»

«I  _ said  _ don’t be shitty. Where’s your engagement ring, asshole?» Iwaizumi seethed but laughed.

«Whatever.» Oikawa glared at him, then noticed something in the distance. « _ Oh!  _ Look who’s here on business!»

Iwaizumi’s best friend smiled as he ran up to someone, then the camera revealed it was Kageyama.

“Kageyama?” Ryan shouted.

Kageyama frowned as he took the entire laptop from Oikawa, «What is he doing with Iwaizumi?»

«Iwaizumi is living with Hinata in California now,» Oikawa said from off screen.

«Hinata?» Kageyama asked.

Hinata leaned over so he was visible on screen, «Hey, Kageyama! You look just as grouchy as ever!»

«And you look just as stupid. We’re going to crush you guys in the Olympics this year.»

«Funny, Kageyama.»

«You’re right,» Kageyama smiled evilly. «Because if you even qualify for the team, you’ll be wiped out before you even reach our round.»

«We haven’t talked in over a year and  _ this  _ is the attitude you want to come in with?» Hinata laughed. «Fine, I’ll just have to prove you wrong!»

“What’s he saying?” Ryan asked.

“That the United States won’t even get the chance to lose against him in the Olympics,” Hinata looked up and laughed. “Especially not me, because I won’t even qualify for the National Team.”

Ryan’s face turned red and he yelled to the camera, “We will beat you! Hinata and I will—“ He took Iwaizumi’s phone and walked between Hinata and Cole so all three of them were visible, “And Cole! We’re all gonna qualify and beat your ass so bad at the Olympics that you’ll never wanna compete again!”

There was a moment of silence before Kageyama spoke again, «What?»

Hinata laughed at Ryan’s anguish before translating, «And I have to say… He’s  _ absolutely right _ .  _ WE  _ will be the last ones standing on that court.»

«Right,» Kageyama smiled at him fondly, the old spark of their competition shining bright in his eye, «You have a lot of talk to live up to. You better make it to the Olympics and deliver.»

«I will. You’ll see.»

«We’ll see how you play without my sets.»

«Kageyama, I’m invincible  _ all _ the time now.»

Iwaizumi smiled at them, his heart clenching. He remembered how they’d say that all the time. “ _ As long as I’m around, you’re invincible.”  _ He hoped Kageyama really understood what Hinata did for him, too.

«Right,» Kageyama’s eyes softened, but the fire beneath them only lit brighter, «See you on the court.»

«Yes, you will.»

«And Ryan, the best setter wins.»

«He can’t understand you, Kageyama.»

« _ Tell him, then!  _ You’re the one all fluent in stupid English!» Kageyama shouted.

Hinata laughed loudly, “Ryan, he says may the best setter win.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

«He says he will.»

«God, you can practically  _ smell  _ how in love with Oikawa he is.»

«Who can blame him?» Oikawa said smugly from off camera.

Kageyama rolled his eyes, «Bye.»

“Bye!” Hinata waved.

Cole muttered a goodbye and Ryan flipped him off. The setter handed Iwaizumi his phone back who just stared at it. He supposed he was done talking to Oikawa, then. 

“You know we  _ are  _ the Olympic team, right?” Cole looked at them both. “Were the  _ National Team.  _ That’s like… our whole job.  _ National  _ tournaments. Including the Olympics _.” _

Ryan and Hinata blushed hard at each other before flipping their lids.

“Then  _ why would he—“ _

_ “Oh, my GOD,”  _ Ryan tugged at his hair. “I can literally hear him laughing at us.”

Talia and Cole laughed at their dumb friends, but Iwaizumi still had no clue what was going on. He couldn’t help a smile at the visuals, but was still disappointed he didn’t get to talk to his friend.

Cole checked his phone, “Oh, we have to go.”

“What? Already?” Ryan looked up at him.

“Yeah, if we don’t want to be late.”

Iwaizumi watched them stand and say their goodbyes. He joined Hinata in walking them to the door. When the brunet and ginger were engaged once again in a squabble, Cole turned to Iwaizumi.

He pulled his phone out and spoke to it before showing Iwaizumi, “I hope to see you soon. Before you know it we’ll really be talking.”

Iwaizumi smiled at the words and nodded at him enthusiastically, “Right!”

Cole smirked and stretched his fist out to him, which Iwaizumi knocked with his own. They offered one last goodbye before leaving. When they turned back, Talia was putting sunglasses on and grabbing her bag.

“You too?” Hinata leaned on the wall.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. My boss has been up my ass lately.”

“Aren’t  _ you  _ your boss?” Hinata scoffed with a smile.

“Yeah, she’s such a bitch. I hate her,” Talia laughed before kissing Hinata on the cheek. “It was really good meeting you, Hajime!”  _ High-gum-ee. _

“Uh, actually,  _ Ha-gym-aye,”  _ he said.

Her face went red as she covered her mouth, “I was assuming I got it right the first time since you didn’t correct me, I’m so sorry. Thank you for correcting me!”

He cocked his head at her. From the looks of it, he really humiliated her and he felt terrible. Hinata put his hand on his shoulder and translated for him.

“It’s okay,” Iwaizumi said with a smile.

She smiled back and put a hand on his shoulder before waving at them, “See you soon!”

“Bye,” they called together.

The second the door was shut and Hinata locked it back up, Iwaizumi completely deflated. Hinata furrowed his brow at him before an understanding smile took him. He walked over and hugged Iwaizumi warmly.

“I’m sorry. I know it was a lot.”

“I have to get used to it,” Iwaizumi sighed as he hugged him back. “I’m in this now.”

“Yeah! I can help you as much as you need!”

“It’s a lot of work,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Yeah, but it’s also good practice for myself.”

“You don’t  _ need  _ practice, though.”

“Sure I do! Are you telling me you stopped practicing once you slammed down your first spike?” Hinata pulled back so he could meet his eye.

“No,” Iwaizumi mumbled.

“It’s the same thing!” Hinata grabbed him by the hand and led him to the desk where he pulled out a fat stack of sticky notes. “Something Talia made me do at first was put a sticky note on every single thing in the room, and I’d have to say the word each time I touched or notably looked at the object.”

“Right…” Iwaizumi frowned deeper.

Hinata wrote the word ‘ball’ on a sticky note before pressing it to the volleyball on the desk and handing it to Iwaizumi.

“Here, this one is familiar.  _ Ball.” _

“Booru,” Iwaizumi said, looking down at it.

“I know Japanese doesn’t really have the ‘ _ L’  _ sound. Think of it like an  _ ‘R’ _ . In English it’s much harsher. Like, ‘ _ La, La, La.’  _ Also, they shorten the vowel. It sounds more like ‘ _ aw’.  _ So, like,  _ buh-aw-luh.” _

Iwaizumi scowled, “That isn’t a real sound.”

“I know, it’s different. Just try it,” Hinata giggled.

“ _ Bawlu,”  _ Iwaizumi strained.

“Yeah!” Hinata praised, eliciting a smile from Iwaizumi. “Only, I know it’s natural to put a vowel after a consonant, but they don’t do that here. Try one more time.”

“Bawlu,” Iwaizumi glared at the ball as he repeated his previous mistake. He hated everything about English.

“It’s okay! It took me a  _ while _ to get it! I’m positive it won’t take you as long as it took me!”

He wanted to smile back at Hinata. He really did, but he was so frustrated. It was a  _ four letter word.  _ He should be able to say it.

“Bawlu. Bahlu. Bawl-uh.” That one was close. “Bawl-uh.” He had to cut off after the ‘L’. The ‘L’ was the hard part. He could do it. He  _ would  _ do it. “Bawl.  _ Ball. Ball. Ball.” _

He looked back at Hinata when he started clapping, “See? What’d I tell you?”

“Whatever. There’s a million words I still can’t say.”

“But you said one! And that’s one more than even ten minutes ago!”

Iwaizumi scowled at him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too!” Hinata laughed as he hugged him.

They spent the rest of the day drinking lemonade and eating snacks as they sorted through the objects in the apartment, labelling them all. Iwaizumi kept putting vowels where he shouldn’t, but Hinata didn’t go wild in pointing it out. He found it was something that came with time more than anything. People would still understand the things he said if the root of the word was there.

By the time eight o’clock rolled around, they were both blinking heavily, fighting their eyes to stay open.

“Another thing Talia made me do was  _ only  _ speak English whenever possible,” Hinata yawned.

“No.”

“Iwa,” he laughed.

“Fine,” Iwaizumi glared at the bowl in his hands. “Starting tomorrow.”

“Deal. I think we need to go to bed now, anyway.”

“Couldn’t agree more.”

Iwaizumi happily discarded the bowl on the counter then moved to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Hinata made him say the English words for everything he touched, making it a particularly gruesome task.

Once they were all washed up, they climbed into the bed.

“Word?”

Iwaizumi sighed exasperatedly, “Bed.”

“Yeah! So good!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before taking the ginger into his arms and kissing his temple, “Thank you.”

“You earned it!”

“No, I mean for everything.”

“Happy to be here,” Hinata smiled into his chest. “Thank you, too.”

“I’m so happy to hold you in my arms again.”

“You have no idea.”

The two straight days Iwaizumi had stayed up caught up to him quickly as the warmth of Hinata and the bed weighed on him. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he knew he was damn comfortable when he did.


	6. Ohana

Hinata dropped Iwaizumi off at work the next morning on his way to practice. Iwaizumi waved after the ginger as he burned rubber pulling away. He looked up at the large gym and breathed in his anticipation. That was what all of his work had been for. He was ready.

He walked in the glass doors and made his way to the offices. He stopped outside the door labeled, ‘ _ Takashi Utsui’.  _ He hesitated before knocking. Once he received the all clear, he entered and came face to face with Ushijima’s father.

“Hello, Iwaizumi.”

“Hello, sir,” Iwaizumi smiled uneasily.

“Why don’t you sit? We’ll talk about a couple things.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi said as he sat across from the man.

He felt incredibly honored to be in the presence of such an accomplished man, but he had to admit he was much less intimidating than Iwaizumi had previously believed. Knowing Ushijima, he expected a big, scary, stoic man but instead found a big, open and kind looking man.

“My son told me how much you wanted to do this even since you started university.”

“Yes, I’ve read all of your books. You’re quite impressive. Uh, sir.”

“Just Takashi will do, son.”

“Right. Takashi.”

“I appreciate your admiration. As you know, our facility is involved with many professional sporting teams.”

“Yes, I do. It’s another reason why this opportunity is so lucrative.”

“Well, the most peculiar thing happened since your name has become public on our records,” Takashi sat back in his chair.

Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what that meant. He just furrowed his brow and his mouth hung open like a simpleton. Takashi only smiled at him.

“I received a phone call, simply  _ demanding _ our services.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Which was strange, especially since they requested  _ you _ specifically. And I asked them,  _ ‘Why him? He’s only a no name fresh off the boats from Japan. He hasn’t even had a proper mentorship in athletic training yet. What could you possibly want with him _ ?’.”

“Absolutely.”

“They said,  _ ‘Frankly, we don’t understand it either, but it’s what the team wants. We expect you to come along as well.’  _ So there I am, in my desk chair like how you see now, wondering what on earth is happening. I never get specifically called out on jobs these days. I have a business to run!”

“Of course. You’re very busy.”

“But, then I get to thinking. If the United States National Volleyball team just calls you up and  _ demands  _ you train their men, you don’t just say no! Now, do you? Especially if you’ve been trying to secure a contract with them for years!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes nearly fell out of his head, “The National team?”

Of course Hinata had something to do with it. But Takashi said the  _ team _ demanded it. Had the ginger really convinced them all?

Takashi flashed a devilish smile at him, “Gear up, kid. From now until the Olympics, we’ve got ourselves quite the gig.”

When they arrived at the team’s gym, he stared up at the glass building. So much glass in California. He got out of the car and slung his bag across his back. They didn’t bring anything extra because they should already have everything they need inside. Hell, they had their own entire gym. They made their way through the halls until they came to the large doors of the actual gymnasium. The familiar smell of wood and vinyl hit Iwaizumi and he couldn't help but beam. The sound of rubber soles squeaked and pierced his ears, but it sounded like gospel music. Men shouted and the sound of slapping volleyballs echoed in the hall. God, he missed it.

The lights inside were much brighter than the halls. The team ran around, throwing and receiving. The teams manager approached them and shook Takashi’s hand, then Iwaizumi’s.

“Good to have you,” the manager said. “I’m Tony Rossi, the team’s manager.”

“Takashi and Iwaizumi,” Takashi said. “So glad to finally have this opportunity.”

They looked to Iwaizumi expectantly. Fucking  _ English _ , man.

“Yes,” he said, hoping it was the right answer.

“Does he… Does he not speak English?”

“Um,” Takashi looked at him. “I suppose not very well.”

“He has time to learn,” Tony sighed. “Come, meet our starting lineup.”

Tony led them to the coach who blew the whistle and gathered their main men. Iwaizumi was pleased to have already met about half of them.

The coach made the way down the line, “Our setter, Ryan Nyholm. Our middle blockers, Toby Garcia and Rob Anderson. Our libero, Cole Horowitz. Our opposite, Noah Clark. Then, our right side hitter, Jackson Wright and the outside hitter, Shōyō Hinata.”

“Men, these are your new athletic trainers, per your persistent request,” Tony said. “Hajime Iwaizumi and Takashi Utsui.”

“Hello,” Iwaizumi and Takashi shouted.

The starting lineup shouted greetings back.

They were so intimidating to look at so close up. They were  _ tall  _ tall. Like, walking buildings. Hinata was probably a full foot shorter than most of them, and it was almost  _ funny.  _ Cole was the tallest, but only by an inch or so. It was a wonder how he was allowed to play libero with that height, he must’ve been very good.

“We’re just going to be observing for today,” Takashi said. “Get a feel for where you’re all at so we can move from there. Sound good?”

“Sir!”

They broke off, but not before Hinata flashed a charming smile at Iwaizumi with a wave. Cole fully approached Iwaizumi and extended his fist to him.

“Hey.”

“Hello,” Iwaizumi said, knocking their fists together.

Cole grinned at him before joining the rest of the men in their exercises.

Iwaizumi stood back with Takashi as they watched them work, then split into two on twos.

«See,» Takashi said. «That guy? Number five?»

Iwaizumi recalled what the coach said and recognized him as Toby, a middle blocker.

«Yeah?»

«He’s considerably taller than anyone else on the team. That means he doesn’t have to move as much to get to where he needs to be. He’ll have lower muscle mass and require less maintenance.»

«Right,» Iwaizumi nodded. «But it also means he has less endurance and will stiffen up easily, making him more prone to injury.»

Takashi smiled at him, «Right. What about number seven?»

«Cole Horowitz, the libero. He’s tall for a libero, meaning it’ll be harder for him to get lower faster than other liberos. He’ll have to compensate by lowering further into his resting positions, which will cause strain to his knees and back. Something to look out for. We’ll have to work the core and the legs the most for him.»

«Very perceptive. Also to compensate for those extra seconds he loses due to his height, he needs to be fast and constantly moving. Endurance training will be important for him.»

Iwaizumi smiled at the team in front of him. He couldn’t believe he made it. Everything he worked for and he actually got to use it. How many other college graduates could say that?

«Then, I think our last special case here is that number nine,» Takashi said. «Shōyō. What do you think?»

Iwaizumi laughed in his head, «He’s short. Even for a libero he’d be short, but especially for an outside hitter. He runs and jumps a lot, it makes up most of his game, and he never lets up. He needs overall body strength, core, legs, upper body, the works. He requires endurance, strength and agility. He’ll by far take the most maintenance.»

«Don’t forget the prospect of injury. Without proper maintenance I think it’s more than fair to say he’s the biggest liability here. With how much he has to compensate for his height by moving so largely and often he’s at great risk for torn muscles, ripped ligaments and more. We’ll have to keep an eye on how he warms up and cools down as well as his stretches and in-season workouts.»

Iwaizumi nodded. The coach stepped beside them.

“You talking about Hinata?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He’s a little firecracker, that one. So explosive and all over the place,” he laughed. “It makes me nervous having him around. It’s like a time bomb for a major injury. The way Ryan sets makes it easier on him, though.”

“Oh?” Takashi looked at him.

“Yeah,” the coach crossed his arms. “They’re a force to be reckoned with, those two. It’s really something else. We knew it would be.”

They watched the two on two happening ahead of them. Ryan and Hinata played against two nameless people that hadn’t been introduced to them.

One nameless person served, which Hinata received with far more grace than he ever had in high school. He really had been learning. Ryan got the pass easily and set to Hinata without even looking at him. Before any of them could process what was happening, the ball was trying to break into the basement of the gymnasium.

Iwaizumi blinked. He’d argue that it was more impressive than his quick with Kageyama. Which was… a lot. How had he never heard of this Ryan person before?

“Hard to believe, ain’t it?” The coach laughed. “People think that Tobio Kageyama is something special. Well, they’ve never seen Ryan Nyholm, then.”

Iwaizumi tapped on Takashi’s shoulder and asked him in a whisper what the coach said. Once he heard, he gaped at the coach, as well. He really thought there was a more technically sound setter than  _ Kageyama? _

“He’s an idiot,” the coach admitted, “But he’s damn good at what he does.”

“What special?” Iwaizumi made his best attempt. He needed to know.

“What’s so special about him?” The coach asked. He continued when Iwaizumi confirmed, “I couldn’t even tell you. He’s an absolute freak. He’s taller than that Tobio, for one thing. Other than that, I’d say it’s his drive to be the absolute best challenger in the world.”

Iwaizumi gaped at him, then looked to Takashi who translated with a sigh. He looked back out to the court where Ryan and Hinata high fived after scoring their winning point.

“Wow,” he said.

Takashi took out his own whistle once all the mini-games were completed. The team gathered in front of him.

“I’d firstly like to say how impressive you all looked out there!” The team applauded then Takashi continued, “I have just one drill I want to run through before I hand it all back over to your coach here until cool down.”

He ran back and returned with a stack of frisbees. He waved one in the air, “Your only job is to catch this. Line up!”

“Sir!”

They lined up and ran individually out into the court so Takashi could throw them a disc. He called out to Iwaizumi each time he threw one.

«Middle blockers go high. Make them jump!»

«Make the setter run for it!»

«Spikers? You bet your ass they’re jumping!»

«Libero? Make them suffer.»

Takashi threw the frisbee at a wildly unpredictable angle, making Cole both run and dive to catch it. He narrowly missed it, the disc just brushing his finger tips.

He scowled at the coach who called to him, “You need to be  _ ready,  _ Horowitz. Try again.”

Iwaizumi suddenly saw the resemblance to Kageyama. More than that, though, he was reminded of Suna from Johenzi’s team.

He stood and backed up so Takashi could throw a new disc, that time in the exact opposite direction. Cole ran for it and dove, once again narrowly missing it.

“ _ Damn it, Horowitz,”  _ the coach said.

“Come on, Cole! It’s just a frisbee!” Ryan laughed.

Cole’s dangerous gaze moved quickly from the ground to a soul shattering glare at Ryan as he spat, “Why don’t  _ you  _ come catch one of those?”

“Because I’m not the libero on an Olympic bound team!”

“It’s okay, you’ll get the next one!” Toby shouted, swatting at Ryan.

“No one else had to keep going until they got it,” Cole muttered.

He backed up once again as Takashi threw yet another disc. Cole ran with a new desire to be done with the godforsaken activity and dove hard for the frisbee and actually snatched it up before it hit the ground. The team applauded him, none more than Ryan, and he glared at them. That wasn’t the same guy Iwaizumi met at the apartment, but he supposed everyone had some sort of court persona.

“If you don’t plan on getting shorter, you better plan on getting faster. You hear me, Horowitz? You have long arms, so  _ use them!” _

“Sir,” Cole turned his back on them.

Their team got back on with their practice while Takashi and Iwaizumi took notes on what they noticed and then compared. 

«Why did he keep making him try until he caught it? He didn’t do that to the other players.» Iwaizumi asked Takashi.

«The libero is the morale centre of the team,» Takashi looked up from his notes. «If a libero has a bad attitude, it will drag the rest of the team down quickly. He had to keep going until he caught it.»

Iwaizumi frowned back down at his paper. He wouldn’t go so far as to say Cole had a bad attitude. He probably felt singled out. Then again… Oikawa was known for singling players out— namely liberos. He was right, he had to be able to withstand that pressure. 

They started writing up individual plans for the players until the coach informed them it was cool down time.

Takashi walked them through the exercises and stretches he wanted them to do while Iwaizumi took more notes. The team was dismissed and they all walked off, except for the main three and Toby.

«What’s up?» Iwaizumi asked Hinata.

“Ehhh, English. It’s tomorrow now.”

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes, “What up?”

“We were gonna stay a bit and goof around.”

Iwaizumi looked anguished, not knowing what the hell he was saying, but Hinata didn’t take mercy on him. He spun the ball in his hands and tossed it to Iwaizumi.

“Wanna play?”

He looked to Takashi who shrugged, “If you have your own way home. Our job is done for the day. Just have your end of the plans done by Friday.”

He cocked his head at Takashi who sighed again and repeated it in Japanese.

«I will!»

Hinata cleared his throat and Iwaizumi flinched, “Friday, done.”

“Good. See you later, kid.”

“Yes! Later!” Iwaizumi called after him.

He turned back towards the other men and tossed the ball up then spun it in his hands.

“Ready?”

“How play?” Iwaizumi asked, cringing at how  _ thick  _ his accent was. There was no way anyone understood him, but he didn’t have a choice. “We teams split?”

Ryan snickered and whispered to Cole, “He sounds like a caveman.”

Hinata hit him on the arm angrily while Iwaizumi’s face burned red, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, but in Japanese the verb comes at the end of the sentence. He’s actually doing incredibly well, dick head!”

“I actually  _ need  _ to know what’s wrong with you,” Cole glared at him.

“Yes, Iwa. We’ll split into teams.”

“There’s an odd number here,” Toby said. “Who will sit out?”

“No need, Tobster!” Ryan said. “I can man a team of two.”

“Who’s the lucky bastard on your team?” Cole scoffed with crossed arms.

“I think I should take Hinata, to even out the playing field. Besides, that way I can show you why I’m the official setter while  _ you’re  _ stuck playing libero.”

“I’m not  _ stuck _ playing libero, idiot. I  _ like  _ playing libero,” Cole glared at him. “Fine. I’ll show you I can do either.”

Hinata and Ryan walked to the other side of the net and Toby and Cole got closer to Iwaizumi.

“Middle blocker,” Cole spoke slowly and pointed to Toby. “Setter,” he pointed at himself. “Spiker,” he pointed at Iwaizumi.

“Okay,” Iwaizumi nodded. The words were all pretty close to the Japanese ones. He was pretty sure he got it.

“I’ll start you off slow,” Ryan called. “Let you at least have a chance to play.”

“Shut up!” Cole yelled as he threw the ball up and jumped to spike serve.

Ryan laughed as Hinata easily received it, “That’s your best serve, Coley? Gotta do better than that!”

“I never  _ get  _ to serve!”

Ryan set the ball back to Hinata who hit it at a more leisurely pace, allowing Iwaizumi’s hand to just graze it.

“One touch!” He yelled.

Cole got the ball up and back to the front, “Toby!”

Toby jumped to spike it, but was stuff blocked by Ryan.

The ball clattered to the floor, the sound echoing off the walls.

“Look like that’s my serve,” Ryan said as he retrieved the ball from under the net.

He stepped back and threw the ball up, running to serve it. And… his serve reminded Iwaizumi eerily of Oikawa’s. Cole got under it and dug it up, sending it back to the middle of the court, “Cover!”

Iwaizumi blinked at Cole. How did he make that look so effortless?

Toby got to it quickly and tossed it to Iwaizumi, who jumped and made  _ perfect  _ contact with the equator of the ball. God, how he missed that feeling.

Ryan was right there though— how was he there already?— and his hand also made perfect contact with the ball as he shoved it back over the net. 

“Gotcha!”

He was like a one man show. He almost didn’t even need Hinata over there at all, which was alarming to say the least. Iwaizumi scowled at him.

“One more time!” He yelled.

Everyone on the court gave their own determined smile as they yelled back, “Yeah!”

They played until their coach came back to yell at them. 

“Why are you all still here? You’ll ruin your bodies!” He turned on Iwaizumi, “You’re the  _ athletic trainer _ , do not let them do this!”

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi said. He didn’t know exactly  _ which words _ the coach said, but he knew what they must’ve been saying. He had to be more responsible.

They did their cool down exercises and stretches over again before cleaning up. Iwaizumi waited for them to change before they could go home.

When the men approached, Ryan sulked in front of them. He stopped in front of Iwaizumi and met his eye. Iwaizumi recoiled at the raw emotion in them.

“Hajime! I am very sorry for my insensitive comment earlier!”

He frowned at him before looking at Hinata, practically begging him with his eyes to translate. That time, the ginger actually did so.

“Fine,” Iwaizumi said awkwardly. Ryan looked at him confused.

“Fine what?”

“I you forgive.”

“It’s ‘ _ I forgive you’,”  _ Hinata corrected. “The verb goes in the middle in English.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi said. “I forgive you.”

Hinata beamed and pushed past his teammates to wrap himself around Iwaizumi’s arm, “That was so much fun!”

“Yes,” Iwaizumi smiled down at him and kissed his head.

Hinata began leading them out of the building, his teammates in tow, clinging to his fiance’s arm.

“Dinner?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yes, what do you want to make?”

“Fish.”

Hinata laughed, “Couldn’t make it to the end of the week, could you?”

«I miss home.»

«That’s okay,» Hinata’s voice went soft. «I miss it, too. Quite often. It’s better now that you’re here.»

Iwaizumi smiled warmly at him, “I you love.” He frowned then slapped himself on the forehead, “Ugh, I  _ love you. _ ”

“Iwa!” Hinata stopped walking so he could properly coo at him. “I love you, too!”

Ryan intruded on their moment by wrapping his arms around them, “I love you  _ both. Together.  _ Couple goals.”

Toby dragged him off of them, then towards the exit, “You have no brain cells. Goodnight guys!”

“Goodnight!” The remaining three called.

Cole walked up to them and smiled. Iwaizumi readily hit his outstretched fist, “Goodnight, buddy. Good game.”

“Good game,” Iwaizumi didn’t feel insecure about his accent in front of Cole. That was nice.

“Later, Hinata,” he said, throwing a hand up as he walked away.

“Later!”

As soon as the tall libero was safely out the door, Iwaizumi turned back to Hinata, “Like Cole.”

“You like Cole?”

“Uh huh.”

“Cole seems to like you, too. Which is weird! Cole doesn’t like anyone.”

Iwaizumi hummed flatly, Hinata’s words landed on deaf ears. So, he tried again.

“Cole likes you, too.”

“Yes?” Iwaizumi smiled and claimed Hinata’s hand in his own.

“Yes. Tons.”

They walked in a comfortable and happy silence to the car, where Iwaizumi opened Hinata’s door for him before getting in on his own side.

“Word?” Hinata asked as he started the engine.

“Coollu,” Iwaizumi huffed as he did his seatbelt up.

“Remember what I told you with ‘ _ ball’ _ ? The ‘ _ aw’  _ sound?”

“Callu,” Iwaizumi said.

“Vowel?”

“Call.”

“Okay, good, but remember, English ‘R’s are the opposite of ‘L’s.”

“Car.”

“Awesome!” Hinata exclaimed as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Awesome,” Iwaizumi repeated sarcastically.

He didn’t speak for most of the car ride, not knowing which words to use. He hated it so, so much.

“How was your first day on the job?”

He stared at Hinata until he tried again, “Work? You like it?”

“Yes.”

“You like Takashi?”

“Yes.”

Hinata bit his cheek and cracked. He just wanted to hear Iwaizumi’s voice. Only speaking English wouldn’t really benefit him until he had a larger vocabulary, anyways, «What did you guys talk about?»

«We get to speak Japanese, now?»

«Yes.»

“God exists,” Iwaizumi laughed. “We basically just discussed each player and what they would need in terms of special needs.”

“Special needs?” Hinata asked.

“Yeah, for their work out and dietary requirements. Like, Cole. He’s super tall, but he’s a libero. That’s bizarre so there’s things we need to look out for.”

“Like what?”

“Like strain on his knees and back from having to move his centre of gravity lower than the average libero. We’re going to have to figure out a plan for him that helps keep his speed and endurance up since he has to overcompensate for those things.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“Eh, not when you’ve done the right schooling for it.”

Hinata glanced at him and melted under the adoring stare he received, “I’m glad we convinced the coach to hire you guys.”

“Me too,” Iwaizumi said. “You know how good this will look on my resume? Not even a year out of school and I’m the athletic trainer for an Olympic team? And watching you guys was amazing. Honestly, at first I was watching you and Ryan thinking ‘ _ they might actually be better than when he was with Kageyama’ _ but then I played against you guys and I knew it was true. It was scary.”

Hinata laughed and glanced over at Iwaizumi. He was entirely serious. He stared at the road and gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“This is my first year actually  _ playing  _ with them. Last year was just practices and training. We haven’t even gotten our  _ lethal  _ weapon sorted out yet. They want my plays with Ryan to be kept entirely off the charts until the Olympics come.”

“I pity whoever you two end up playing against.”

“If I’m being honest… I prefer playing with Kageyama. I just like him better. I mean, Ryan is  _ fine.  _ He’s really stupid and doesn’t think before he speaks often, but he isn’t a  _ bad _ person. But speaking strictly chemistry, it’s Kageyama all the way.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t imagine playing full time with a setter who wasn’t Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said as he covered Hinata’s hand with his own. “I think I can see where you’re coming from.”

“Do you think we’ll beat Japan in the Olympics?”

“It is quite literally my job to do everything in my power to make sure that happens,” Iwaizumi smiled. “So, yes. Yes, I do.”

“We’ll be going home for that, you know. Tokyo is hosting this time.”

Iwaizumi smiled wider at the thought, “I’m excited. Everyone will be back where we belong.”

“I only belong next to you,” Hinata said fondly. “I don’t care where that is.”

“You’re right,” Iwaizumi weaved their fingers together. “When’s the wedding?”

“The wait for two green card holders is like two years,” Hinata frowned.

“We could always have a ceremony and then get the marriage license later,” Iwaizumi suggested. He was just thankful a marriage license was possible for them at all.

“We’ll need to do at least two ceremonies,” Hinata frowned deeper.

“What? Why?”

“One for our American friends and a more traditional one in Japan. I’m sure our parents—“ He glanced at Iwaizumi, “I’m sure  _ my  _ parents will demand that.”

“Oh, right,” Iwaizumi frowned out the window. “We could probably do that one while we’re in Tokyo anyways.”

“You’re so smart,” Hinata smiled.

“I figured  _ one  _ of us would have to finish school,” Iwaizumi teased.

“Hey, hey, I’m slowly chipping away at it still!” Hinata laughed. “Besides, who needs a bachelors degree straight away when you’re  _ Olympic qualifying.” _

“Your thing was meaner,” Iwaizumi laughed, then frowned. “Speaking of mean, I thought Ryan was supposed to be  _ nice?” _

“Yeah. I’m really sorry about that. He transforms to someone different when he’s on the court, regardless of the activity.”

“His serve reminds me  _ a lot  _ of Oikawa’s.”

“Oikawa is his personal hero,” Hinata laughed loudly. “Isn’t that insane? He’s younger than Ryan, too!”

“Wait what? Seriously?” Iwaizumi looked back over at him.

“Yeah! He told me how he came to Japan on holidays once and begged his parents to take him to one of the high school tournaments, and since it was during prelims, he saw  _ you guys.  _ He said Japan’s volleyball scene is crazy, I guess. But, he saw Oikawa play and worked really hard day and night since then to master his serve.”

“That’s  _ wild,”  _ Iwaizumi whispered. “Oikawa can never know.  _ Two  _ world league setters set out with the only goal of being better than him? No, he can’t ever know.”

“There’s no way he doesn’t already know, the way Ryan follows him around whenever they play against each other. ‘ _ Oikawa, let me take you for drinks. We can talk strategy. Oikawa, Oikawa, can you give me a few pointers on this and that? Oh, hey! Oikawa! If we got married, we’d be the most powerful couple in the world, don’t you think?’.” _

_ “ _ He really said that?” Iwaizumi couldn’t hide his shocked disgust.

“I mean…  _ No.  _ But, I’m sure Oikawa knows. Ryan’s not exactly subtle about worshipping the ground he walks on.”

“I…” Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say.

“What I was trying to tell you back at the gym, was that I’m surprised by how much Cole interacts with you.”

“Why?”

“He really doesn’t like people. Like I said, he’s like Kageyama. He tends to identify with immigrants and ‘outsiders’, but it seems to go beyond that with you.”

“Hm,” Iwaizumi slumped in his seat. “I wonder why, then.”

“I don't know,” Hinata admitted as he pulled into their parking lot. “Maybe he identifies with you because he’s been putting up with his own version of Oikawa since Ryan joined the team?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t think even Oikawa is as obnoxious as that guy,” Iwaizumi snorted as he got out of the car.

They wrapped an arm around each other once they got inside. Hinata unlocked the door and Iwaizumi threw himself down on the bed.

“I like your friends, though,” Iwaizumi said, taking Hinata by the hips when he crawled on top of him.

“Yeah?” Hinata said, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said, flipping them over.

“Is this part of my training, boss?” Hinata stared up at him with doe eyes.

“Let’s call it endurance training,” Iwaizumi smirked.

Hinata pulled him back down by the shoulders, and wrapped his legs around his waist. Their conversation died out once the interaction became more physical.

Fifteen months later found Iwaizumi in the gym once again. He was unaccompanied as he trained the team. He walked around the weight room, correcting form and dealing out instruction. He began taking English lessons early on after his move and improved quickly with the extra hours he put into it. He still had a thick accent and forgot words sometimes but time showed him not to worry about it. People still understood him and it was a reminder of how far he came. He was  _ proud _ of his thick accent.

He ran a hand across Hinata’s back as he passed by him, savoring the smile he got through the otherwise pained expression on the ginger’s face.

“Don’t work too hard,” Iwaizumi gently reminded him.

“Right!”

“Cole, get lower with your squats. The way you’re moving, you’re not doing anything for your muscles,” Iwaizumi stood in front of him. “And spread your feet out further.”

He kicked Cole’s feet apart and got back in front of him to demonstrate what exactly the form was supposed to look like.

“Isn’t this bad for my knees?” Cole groaned.

“Nope, not if you do it right,” Iwaizumi slapped him on the shoulder as he walked away.

“Hey, Iwa!” Ryan called. When Iwaizumi got to him he asked, “Heard from Oikawa lately?”

“If you’re so worried about Oikawa, how about you focus on strengthening your core so you have a shot of making it to his round at the Olympics?”

Ryan glared at Cole who snickered at him, “Fine. Whatever.”

Iwaizumi herded them into the gym when their workouts were done and ran them through a few more exercises. Wednesdays were reserved just for training, rather than practices, but he liked to mix the two together.

“Come on!” He shouted. “Aren’t you the ones who talked about beating Kageyama? Oikawa? You don’t say those things without backing them up! They’ll eat you alive! Work harder!”

“Sir!”

Iwaizumi moved to his bench and opened his folder on  _ to-dos.  _ The list seemed to just get longer the closer they came to the Olympics. He ran down the list, deciding to just check up on the teams’ food diaries and discuss them, one on one.

“Cole, get over here!” He waved his small black book in the air.

The tall man jogged over to him and slumped heavily on the floor. He gratefully accepted the towel and water bottle Iwaizumi handed him. The trainer opened the book to where the ribbon laid and read over the page.

“I’m noticing a change in your habits,” Iwaizumi said.

“A change?”

“You seem to slowly be including less carbs and increasing more fats.”

“Oh,” Cole frowned. “I discovered avocado…”

“Avocado is good for you, but you cannot let up on the carbs. That’s where your real energy comes from,” Iwaizumi said. “It says you’ve been eating around 3,700 calories a day, which is perfect but you’re only 198 5lbs now.”

“I’m trying.”

“You’re losing weight.”

“We’re working harder.”

Iwaizumi lowered the book and stared down at Cole, who wouldn’t meet his gaze. He noticed the more they got into the thick of it all, the more Cole retreated into himself.

“I have a hard time gaining and maintaining weight. I have a low appetite.”

“Listen, I know it’s hard, and you shouldn’t force yourself to eat if you aren’t hungry. There are things we can do to fix that. But you don’t lie in your book.”

Cole finally risked a glance up at Iwaizumi. It was as if he expected to be reprimanded harshly or something and was surprised when no such action occurred.

“The last trainer was happy when I lost weight, because that meant I could move faster.”

“When you’re losing weight because you aren’t eating enough, the energy is not coming from the places you want it to. It’s not coming from your stored fat, it’s coming from your muscle.”

Cole blinked at him, “But I still work out every day. That doesn't make sense. And it’s not like I’m  _ not  _ eating.”

“That number I gave you? 3,700 calories? That is to maintain your weight. Meaning, if you burn that many calories in a day, you eat that many calories in a day. Additionally, those calories were specifically split into a plan to keep you balanced, energized and healthy. I know I sound like a tyrant, but this is what will maximize your performance.”

Cole sighed, “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry to have discredited your work.”

“No,” Iwaizumi held a hand out and heaved the large man up, “I just want you to be safe. Improper nutrition leaves you feeling tired and slows the recovery of your muscles, meaning— you could get you injured out there.”

Cole smiled at the genuine concern in his voice, “Thank you.”

“Not at all,” Iwaizumi bumped his fist. “We’ll check in earlier next week, just to be sure we’re on the right track.”

Cole nodded his approval and ran out to the court. Iwaizumi made his way through the rest of the men, save for Hinata. When the ginger was certain he wouldn’t be called, he jogged over to Iwaizumi.

“Aren’t we going to talk, too?”

«I cook for you, I know you’re eating what you’re supposed to,» Iwaizumi laughed.

Hinata sat on the bench and shared in his laughter, “Maybe I just want to talk, then.”

«Go do your job,» Iwaizumi looked up.

“Come on!” Hinata said, stealing his book from the pile and holding it up, “I put all the effort into logging it! Analyze me!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and took the book, but the smile never fell from his face, «Fine.»

Ryan set for Toby who spiked at Cole so he could receive them. The setter rounded on Toby when he failed entirely to even attempt to spike the ball.

“What are  _ you doing?” _

Toby stared on at Hinata and Iwaizumi as they poured over the small red leather book. They spoke intently in Japanese as Hinata seemed to attempt to understand whatever it was Iwaizumi was saying to him. Their interaction was broken occasionally by shouting and laughter. Cole walked over and scooped up the ball as the three of them watched the two.

“They look so  _ happy,”  _ Toby said. “I know Hinata spoke highly of him all that time, but… I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“It’s just. To look that happy just to be  _ near  _ someone? That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that is pretty cool,” Ryan agreed.

“You shouldn’t be so surprised,” Cole said. He continued when the others just looked at him, “Iwaizumi dropped his entire life to follow Hinata to a different continent. They spent a year apart and we didn’t hear Hinata complain once. They’re strong. And now they finally have what they want. Why wouldn’t they be happy?”

Ryan hummed, eyes settling back on the couple, “You think we’ll ever find that?”

“How could we not?” Toby asked. “We’re world class athletes.”

“That comes with its disadvantages, though,” Cole said, spinning the ball around. “Hinata’s incredibly lucky. He found someone who wants to follow him wherever his dreams take him. I don’t think that’s too common. At least not from genuine people.”

“What do you mean by genuine?” Ryan asked.

“I mean people who don’t just want you because you’re famous, or tall, or rich. Someone who would follow you with a million dollars in your pocket or thirty cents. As long as you’re there, then… that’s good enough.”

Ryan’s face twisted evilly as he pinched Cole’s cheek, “Ha! I think our little Coley’s jealous!”

Cole slapped his hand away and looked away, “So? What if I am? How could you  _ not  _ want something like that?”

“Do you really think that’s how it is?” Toby looked back at them.

“No, of course not!” Ryan said, stealing the ball from Cole. “No one’s perfect. Everyone has limitations. I’m sure even those two fight sometimes! Besides, Iwaizumi has definitely accomplished a lot more here than he would’ve in Japan. It’d be a lie to say he wasn’t getting a lot out of his relationship with Hinata.”

“I didn’t say he doesn’t get anything out of it,” Cole sighed. “I’m just saying I don’t think it would’ve mattered. He’s a ride or die.”

“God, what are you? In love with him?” Ryan wrinkled his nose.

Cole rounded on him aggressively, “ _ Of course not, you idiot! _ I wouldn’t expect  _ you  _ to understand what having respect for someone means. Besides…  _ You’re _ the one who literally carries a photo of Oikawa in your phone case!”

“It reminds me of what I’m fighting for!” Ryan whined.

“What? Your boner for Oikawa? We’re aware.”

“I am  _ not  _ in love with Oikawa! Stop blaming me for my reaction! It’s only natural when he’s so talented and driven and—“

“Beautiful and dreamy?” Cole sneered.

“I’m gonna kill you!” Ryan said as he lunged at Cole.

The libero hid behind Toby as he held the setter back. When it was clear Ryan wasn’t getting past the middle blocker, who really lived up to his name, he opted to throw the ball at Cole, who easily caught it. Cole threw it back and hit Ryan in the forehead who then charged forward with renewed gusto.

“ _ What are you doing?”  _ Iwaizumi grabbed Ryan by the back of the shirt.

“H-hey, boss,” Ryan chuckled nervously. “We were just… You know. Just—“

“ _ Spit it out.” _

_ “ _ Trying to kill Cole?”

Iwaizumi slapped Ryan on the back of the head, “ _ Focus, boke! Focus!” _

“Agh,  _ fine!  _ Don’t break out the Japanese, I promise I’ll be good!” Ryan shouted, covering the back of his head.

Iwaizumi pointed at Cole who snickered at his friend, “You! Stop picking fights!”

“You weren’t even listening!” Cole protested.

“I don’t need to hear you two!  _ Damere!” _ Iwaizumi crossed his arms and glowered at them until they shrank into themselves.

Hinata laughed at them as they all blushed hard, especially Toby even though he wasn’t directly yelled at. They sheepishly moved back to resume practicing.

Ryan leaned into Cole and whispered, “You made him tell us to shut the fuck up. You made him  _ swear  _ at us.”

“Me?” Cole asked incredulously.

“Ehh?” Iwaizumi shouted.

They flinched and separated, finally going back to their exercise.

Iwaizumi shook his head as he sighed and Hinata patted his back sympathetically.

“You got them to understand a Japanese insult without ever telling them what it means, for what it’s worth. Actually,  _ two  _ Japanese insults!”

“They’re so lucky this is my job and I legally have to stay professional,” Iwaizumi strained. “They’re worse than Oikawa. I didn’t know it was possible.”

“ _ Was  _ that professional?” Hinata asked skeptically.

“I love you, but I’ll show  _ you _ unprofessional if you waste any more training time by talking to me,” Iwaizumi smiled sweetly at him.

“Uh, right!” Hinata startled before starting back to the court, then faltering. He turned back and kissed Iwaizumi, “Love you, too!”

Iwaizumi laughed as he watched Hinata run back onto the court and slide in seamlessly into the mix. His chest swelled with pride watching him out there. They had nowhere to go but up, and they were going fast.

Hinata immediately went to the kitchen of their new-ish home when they’d arrived. He always seemed particularly hungry after practices and training ever since the Olympics came onto the horizon and they had to work much harder. Iwaizumi got out and prepped some actual food while Hinata grazed for a snack.

He opened a cupboard, knowing fully well it only held medication and spices, and sighed.

“I can’t believe you didn’t let me bring Brenda,” Hinata said, side eyeing Iwaizumi.

“Excuse me for not wanting bugs in our nearly million dollar home. We’re going to be paying for this for like, thirty years and I don’t want bugs.”

“She’s only  _ one _ bug.”

“Until she has more little bug babies.”

“No, Brenda wouldn’t do that to us.”

Iwaizumi sighed, and gently took Hinata’s hand from the cupboard and covered it with both of his own, “Baby? Sweetie? Love? I  _ hate  _ to tell you this, but Brenda doesn’t care about you the same way you care about her. It’s time to let go.”

Hinata’s face contorted to disgust and horror as he yanked his hand away, as if burned, “Something tells me you  _ didn’t  _ hate saying that!”

Iwaizumi laughed loudly and pulled Hinata into his arms, hugging him tightly. Hinata struggled for all of a second before settling into the embrace, then leaned up and kissed his fiance.

Iwaizumi leaned eagerly into the gesture, bringing his own passion and heat to it. Hinata pulled away and sighed happily against his lips.

“I’m hungry,” he whispered, never opening his eyes.

Iwaizumi laughed once again before removing himself from the ginger, “Okay, okay. I’ll get back to it.”

He pushed Hinata to the door of the kitchen then slapped his ass, “Get out of here. Let me take care of it.”

“What? Why do I need to go?”

“You need to shower.”

Hinata looked borderline offended, “I showered after practice! You mean I  _ still  _ stink?”

“I do,” Iwaizumi sounded grave but his face was humored.

Hinata, with all of his class and dignity, lifted his arm and smelled his own armpit, then immediately recoiled.

“Okay, I’m gonna go shower.”

“That’s a good idea,” Iwaizumi laughed, back to prepping dinner.

“Thanks! I thought of it all by myself!” Hinata called as he walked away.

Iwaizumi put his knife down and just took a minute to feel completely and entirely happy. That was happening more often lately. He felt as though everything was really coming together. They were even planning their  _ wedding.  _ Actually, it was mostly Iwaizumi’s friend from work, Leilani. She was a Hawaiian Native and an athletic trainer as well, specializing in volleyball. She was tall and lean with thick, long dark hair, and was their gym’s most requested trainer. Iwaizumi learned early on that she opted to only work with female teams and clients unless it was a special case for personal reasons. He decided he probably didn't want to know the details, but assumed it was because of her appearance and the general nature of men. Even if he wasn’t straight, Iwaizumi knew she was hot.

Leilani was ecstatic when Iwaizumi asked for her help, and Iwaizumi was just glad it was out of his hands.

He didn’t particularly have an eye for party planning nor did he have the time as work was heating up. Just as Hinata had predicted, his parents demanded they had a traditional Japanese ceremony before they went on doing their ‘ _ American whatevers’ _ . They fully intended on killing two birds with one stone and just “marrying” in Japan while they were already there for work. Though, the only time they could book a shrine that actually would host two men symbolically was about a week and a half after the Olympics officially ended, which was posing some issues.

His phone rang, dragging him out of his thoughts. He smiled when he saw it was Oikawa, and answered eagerly.

“Hey!”

“Hey, Iwa-chan.”

“Uh oh. This doesn’t sound good,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Unfortunately not, my friend.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Your Japan ceremony will be on August sixteenth, right?”

Iwaizumi’s heart sunk, “Yes.”

“I have a work engagement I can’t get out of. I’ve tried everything I could. I can’t come.”

At least Oikawa sounded every bit as upset as Iwaizumi felt. He supposed they didn’t exactly give everyone a whole lot of notice, and if there wasn’t anything he could do, then there was nothing he could do. That didn’t stop the hurt or disappointed feelings, though.

“Okay,” Iwaizumi said.

“Okay? That’s it?” Oikawa asked.

“What do you want me to say?”

“It’s worse when you don’t insult or threaten me. That’s how I know you’re  _ really  _ upset.”

“I’m not exactly happy, I won’t lie to you. But I understand that you’re a busy person.”

“Thank you, Iwa-chan.”

“Besides, you’ll just have to make it up to me when we  _ really  _ get married, now won’t you, Shittykawa?”

Iwaizumi could hear his friend’s smirk from the other end of the call as he put it on speaker, “Of course, Iwa-chan. Cigars, guns, fireworks. All of it.”

“Very funny,” Iwaizumi laughed. “Then maybe someday I can return the favor.”

“Obviously! Who else will be my best man if it isn’t the greatest Iwa?”

“No, that isn’t what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I meant if you ever get married. I'm starting to worry I won’t get to be anything in your wedding at all, because it may not ever happen.”

“Ha ha, Iwa-chan. I thought you’re the one who tells me not to be shitty?”

“You’ll just have to prove  _ me  _ wrong this time, won’t you?”

“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone!” They laughed together.

“On a real note, though,” Iwaizumi said, finally getting the food into the frying pan, “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No,” Oikawa sighed. “I’ve tried, but no one worships me the way they should.”

“Worships?” Iwaizumi sneered.

“I said what I said.”

Hinata rejoined Iwaizumi in the kitchen, having showered and changed and was back on the prowl for a snack. He grabbed an energy bar and held it up to Iwaizumi who nodded his permission.

“Hey, Oikawa!” Hinata called as he left the room, unwrapping the snack.

“Hey, Chibi-chan!”

“Okay, so what do you mean by  _ worship?” _ Iwaizumi asked.

“Like…” Oikawa thought for a moment. “Like, I’m the only person who really exists to them. Someone who would do anything for me.”

“So, a simp,” Iwaizumi snorted.

“If that’s what you are to Hinata, then yes. That.”

“What? I am  _ not _ —“ The doorbell cut him off.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Hinata called.

“No?” Iwaizumi frowned deeper.

“Wow, popular tonight, are you?” Oikawa drawled. “Well, if you happen to come across anyone who worships me, do me a favor and send them my way, will ya?”

Iwaizumi heard the voices from the foyer and recognized them as  _ every single one of their friends.  _ Who just does that? Stops by unannounced in such large numbers? He sighed.

“Funny you should mention that,” he mumbled just as Ryan entered the kitchen.

“Iwa, dear! What you’re cooking smells absolutely delicious! We brought food of our own so as to not put you out any!”

“Oh, did you?” Iwaizumi asked. “Hopefully strictly adhering to your plans?”

“Of course! ...Mostly,” Ryan smiled slyly as Iwaizumi wound up to lecture him.

«Iwa-chan! I’m lost so I’m going to hang up! See you at the Olympics!»

«Sor—»

“Oikawa?” Ryan jumped for the phone. “Hi, Oikawa!”

«Is that…?»

«Yes,» Iwaizumi sighed.

“No!” Oikawa yelled. “You go!”

Ryan deflated, “But Oikawa! I haven’t even said anything yet”

Iwaizumi scoffed and ripped his phone from Ryan’s hand then put on his best work shout, “ _ Demare! Go!” _

“Ahhh, okay… Bye, Oikawa!”

«Wow, he actually listened to you?»

«Yeah,» Iwaizumi laughed. «I have experience dealing with Ryans.»

«What does that mean?»

«Oh, nothing...»

Leilani entered the kitchen as Iwaizumi plated the food he made. She wrapped her arm around him and he jumped, not knowing she was there. She pressed her nose to his in greeting then rested her cheek on his head— like he said,  _ tall _ .

“Hey.”

“Hi,” she smiled and held up a  _ thick  _ binder. “We’re about to talk wedding!”

“Right,” he said. «Oikawa, I have to go.»

«Okay, Iwa-chan. I’m sorry again.»

«It’s okay!»

«I love you.»

«I love you, too. Bye, Crappykawa.»

«Bye!»

He hung up the call and pocketed his phone, then grabbed the food and moved with Leilani to the living room, where everyone sat around on the floor, laughing at picking at food. He sat next to Hinata and handed him his plate.

“Hey, Lani! Lookin’ dummy thick today!” Ryan watched her move in.

She glared at him and moved to sit between Talia and Cole instead, “I hate you. And my name is  _ Lei _ lani, thank you.”

“Right, right.”

Cole pat her on the back and glared hard at Ryan before they moved on.

They ran through the wedding plans, looking for any hitches. Leilani got to the point where Oikawa was supposed to come in and Iwaizumi frowned.

“Oh, uh, Oikawa can’t come.”

“What?” Hinata’s head snapped up to him. “We’ll reschedule.”

“Don’t be crazy,” Iwaizumi dismissed. “Who knows when we’d get to book another shrine. It’s not like this is the  _ real  _ wedding, anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Hinata asked skeptically, taking his hand.

“Absolutely,” Iwaizumi squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“That’s such a compromise, Iwaizumi!” Leilani said.

Iwaizumi dismissed the praise with a shake of his hand, “It’s really nothing.”

“Right, well—“ She reached into her bag and removed several envelopes held together with string, “I’ve gotten almost  _ all  _ of the RSVPs!”

“Awesome!” Hinata sat forward. “Are they mostly attendees?”

“Yes, sir,” Leilani beamed before making a weird face and looking at Iwaizumi, “I noticed that I haven’t gotten anything from your parents yet.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi’s face flushed. “Yeah.”

“What do you mean, ‘ _ yeah’ _ ?” She asked. “Are you  _ expecting  _ an answer?”

Iwaizumi braced himself for the shit show that was about to go down, “Not exactly.”

“Why?” Hinata asked, attention suddenly sharp. “Do they not approve of us getting married?”

Iwaizumi’s face turned redder under everyone’s gaze, “Uh…”

“Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hinata said slowly. “Your parents  _ do  _ know we’re getting married, right?”

“I might have neglected to tell them a few things.”

Iwaizumi would not meet his gaze, but he felt the serious heat of it burning into him.

“Which things? The wedding? The engagement? Is that all?”

“Uh, they might not know about any of it?”

He winced as Hinata stood up, “ _ What?” _

“We don’t talk!” Iwaizumi shouted right back, finally meeting his eye. “They don’t even know that I moved! It’s not exactly like  _ they  _ reached out to  _ me  _ either!”

“Fine,” Hinata huffed. “Fine, I forgive you. You  _ should  _ tell them, though. They could be very hurt by not being allowed into all of this and finding out somehow else.”

“I’ll tell them if it makes you happy, but I promise they won’t like it.”

“They’re your family,” Leilani said softly. “They’ll still love you regardless.”

“Not to be rude, Leilani,” Iwaizumi said. “But, my family is quite different from how yours sounds. It isn’t  _ we’ll still love you if you fail _ in my house. It’s  _ you do what I want you to do and if you don’t do it then you’re dead to me.” _

She frowned, then slammed the RSVPs onto the floor. The men and Talia all jumped at the sudden outburst and Leilani pointed angrily at Iwaizumi.

“Fine! Even if they reject you, then you have to promise me you know you have us! We are  _ ohana _ ! That means family, stupid! It doesn’t matter if we’re related by blood or not! Our  _ ohana  _ always has a place for you, okay?”

Iwaizumi blinked at her, “Uh, yeah, sure. I know that.”

He slowly looked around the circle, feeling incredibly humiliated, but the more he looked the less embarrassed he was. They all smiled at him to some degree, and Hinata reached down to clasp his hand in his own.

“We love you, Iwa!” Talia yelled with a smile.

When the rest of the group shouted their agreement, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile at them too. They really had become close in the last year and some months. He couldn’t remember his life before them.

“I love you, guys,” he muttered and rolled his eyes, pretending to be tough, but really, he wanted to cry.

“Good,” Leilani huffed, “Let’s get through the rest of this, then.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi agreed, feeling renewed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story has kinda taken on a life of its own and im sorry but im heavily enjoying writing it


	7. Luaus and Leis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a thought & pursued it lmao

Iwaizumi ran through the halls at his work. Training ran late that day, but he had a meeting scheduled with Takashi. He paused outside of his office and caught his breath for a moment before knocking. He was immediately invited in, so he pushed the door open.

It was mostly regular. His boss sat at his desk, the plant still stood in the corner, but the weird thing was that Ushijima sat in a chair across from his father. Iwaizumi furrowed his brow as he sat next to his ex-rival.

“I’m sorry I’m late. The coach ran practice long.”

“Don’t worry, Iwaizumi,” Takashi dismissed. “This isn’t a formal meeting.”

“Oh?” He looked confusedly between his boss and his son.

“Consider this a personal favor,” Takashi said.

“Sure. What?”

“My home is being renovated, leaving nowhere for my dear son here to stay. I would appreciate it if you’d allow him to stay with you for the duration of his stay.”

“Oh, sure,” Iwaizumi looked at Ushijima. “You’re more than welcome to stay with us.”

“Thank you,” Ushijima said.

Iwaizumi nodded and shook his hand, “Well, sir, if that’s all—“

“Actually, it isn’t.”

“Oh?”

Takashi leaned on his hands on the desk, “For Tokyo... Normally I would  _ love  _ to go myself and get that exposure, but I have some personal business to see to at that time. I would like it if you’d pick another one of our trainers to accompany you for backup in the unfortunate case an emergency happens.”

“Of course, sir. Can I get back to you on it?”

“Just be sure to give me enough notice to give them enough notice.”

“Absolutely.”

“Excellent!” Takashi clapped his hands together and sat back. “You’re free to go.”

Iwaizumi and Ushijima stood together and bowed, “Thank you.”

Iwaizumi led Ushijima back to Hinata’s car— or rather,  _ their  _ car. They each got in and Ushijima examined the vehicle’s interior.

“This isn’t the car I would expect you to own,” Ushijima said.

“It’s Hinata’s.”

They stayed in silence as Iwaizumi started off back towards the house. Luckily for him, their home was pretty far from his work, so they had  _ lots  _ of time just to talk.

“So, why are you in town?”

“I’m meeting my fiancée.”

“You’re… what? You mean meeting  _ up  _ with your fiancée, right?”

“No. I’m meeting her,” Ushijima stared out the window.

“As in… you don’t already know her?” Iwaizumi kept stealing glances.

“Yes.”

“You’re marrying someone you don’t know?”

“My family arranges their marriages.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“It’s tradition.”

Iwaizumi inflated his cheeks as he stared back at the road. He didn’t fail to notice how Ushijima never directly answered his question, but it definitely wasn’t his place to push the subject. So, he thought of a new one.

“How’s volleyball?”

“Amazing. Kageyama is surprisingly competent when surrounded by decent players.”

“Right, you and Kageyama are on the same team,” Iwaizumi realized out loud. That’d make the Olympics harder.

“You and Hinata are marrying. I didn’t receive an invitation.”

“Uh…”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to go.”

“Oh.”

The soft pop music from the radio was the only thing standing between them and soul shattering uncomfortability. 

“My friend’s birthday is tomorrow. Do you want to come with us to that?”

“I can attend.”

Ushijima stared out the window for a minute longer before frowning and turning to Iwaizumi, who held his breath, unprepared for whatever terrible, terrible,  _ awkward  _ thing would come out of his mouth next.

“I don’t have a gift.”

Oh. That wasn’t too bad.

“She won’t mind.”

“Unacceptable. Please, take me to the nearest  _ Home Depot.” _

“ _ Home Depot?”  _ Iwaizumi couldn’t help but scoff. “Okay.”

He didn’t really  _ want  _ to go to  _ Home Depot _ , but he wanted to see what kind of a disaster of a gift the guy would pick out. He didn’t know Leilani or anything about her, but what kind of gift could you get a beautiful girl at a hardware store?

They drove in silence until they reached their destination, where Ushijima got out immediately and made a beeline inside. Iwaizumi rushed to catch up with him but fell too far behind and lost him. He walked up and down all the aisles twice to find Ushijima— which shouldn’t be  _ hard _ because of his height— before giving up and choosing to wait for him by the car. Only, once he got there, he already saw the tall man by the locked vehicle.

Iwaizumi approached and saw he was carrying a decently large plant in a peachy-pink pot. Ushijima held it up and showed him.

“It’s a Calathea Medallion plant, but sometimes referred to as “the prayer plant” because its leaves open and shut throughout its circadian rhythm. It requires little maintenance and thrives in any lighting. It’s beautiful and its leaves are purple underneath. It is the perfect gift.”

“I think… you may actually be right. It just may be the  _ perfect  _ gift.”

Iwaizumi cursed him in his head. Ushijima seemed to know his friend better than he did and  _ he didn’t even know her.  _ Lucky guess. Whatever.

When they arrived at the house, Hinata was on Iwaizumi before he was even fully in the door.

“Jeez, your boss must’ve been laying into you! You were gone for so long! It could be the way you drive, though! So slow! You’re like a grandpa—“

Hinata cut himself off once he noticed Ushijima behind his fiance.

“Iwaizumi consistently did ten kilometres over the speed limit the entire way here. Legally, he is not a slow driver.”

“Iwaizumi,” Hinata glared. “What is this?”

“We have a guest!” Iwaizumi did his best to seem enthusiastic under Hinata’s scathing glare. “Surprise?”

Hinata waited in the kitchen, with crossed arms, leaning against the counter while Iwaizumi showed Ushijima their house and where he’d be staying. When the brunet slunk into the room, Hinata unleashed.

“What the  _ hell _ were you thinking?” Hinata shouted in a whisper.

“I was  _ thinking  _ my boss asked me for a personal favor!” Iwaizumi whispered back. “He isn’t a bad guy, babe!”

“ _ How long is he staying?”  _ Hinata all but seethed.

“I’m not sure.”

“ _ YOU'RE NOT SURE? _ ” Hinata turned away and tugged on his hair, “This is a nightmare.”

Iwaizumi put a hand on his shoulder, “I know I should’ve asked you first and I’m sorry, but don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

Ushijima entered the room and held up a small, decorative jar, “I’m making a pile of things that need to be washed. I’ll help you with it.”

Iwaizumi watched him leave the room and bit his top lip as he turned back to Hinata.

“ _ Please  _ forgive me.”

“I’ll think about it,” Hinata said as he walked away with crossed arms.

Iwaizumi sighed and met Ushijima in the living room, where he went through all of the drawers. Slowly, the items accumulated on the coffee table.

“You should occasionally wash the things you don’t use often,” Ushijima said. “They harbour bacteria and dust which can become irritating in the nose.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said as he sat on the couch.

Ushijima kept moving, eventually asking if they had antibacterial wipes, to which Iwaizumi said no. The tall man sighed and settled on a warm cloth with bleach.

After a lot longer of that, Iwaizumi had enough.

“Why don’t you come watch  _ Jeopardy?” _

“Alright,” Ushijima said after a moment’s consideration. 

He discarded his tools in their appropriate homes and sat beside Iwaizumi on the couch. They watched in silence, until Iwaizumi got a question right. Then Ushijima did. Then they were battling. Yelling, shouting, slamming hands down and accusing each other, then whatever Ushijima’s subdued versions of those verbs were. The man never shifted keys in his voice inflections. His face never seemed to shift into a particular emotion. Iwaizumi briefly wondered if he was human at all.

When the episode ended, Iwaizumi bid Ushijima goodnight and went to clean up before bed. He got to the bedroom just as Hinata hung up the phone.

“Who was that?” Iwaizumi asked as he undressed.

“Natsu.”

“Oh, how is she?”

“Good! Apparently the  _ YouTube  _ thing is treating her very well. She’s actually going to be coming  _ here  _ soon for a convention!”

“That’s insane!” Iwaizumi exclaimed. “Wow, that’s so exciting! I haven’t seen her in what? Over three years?”

“That sounds about right! Me neither!”

“How old is she now, anyways?”

“I think that’d make her…” Hinata thought. “Just over nineteen.”

“ _ Wow.” _

“Right?”

Hinata pulled Iwaizumi into the bed with him. They stared at the ceiling together and Iwaizumi pulled the ginger into his chest.

“We’re getting so old.”

“Speak for yourself,” Hinata laughed. “I’m almost twenty two.”

“I’m only two years older than you, stupid,” Iwaizumi flicked him.

“Two years closer to death than me!” Hinata cackled before rolling over and climbing on top of his fiance. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Hinata leaned down and kissed him, “You know?”

“I know what?”

“I think about when we’re older and have kids. Do you think we’ll still live here?”

“Kids?” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Uh, yeah… Kids,” Hinata mirrored his expression.

They pulled away from each other and stared.

“You want kids?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You  _ don’t?” _

“Not… really.”

“Oh.”

Hinata moved off of him and sat on the edge of the bed. Iwaizumi sat up, but kept the distance between them.

Hinata stared down at his hands. He supposed it was better they talked about that  _ before  _ they got married. They were always so busy that it never came up before, but damn he almost wished it hadn’t. He picked at his fingernails. Iwaizumi still had time to change his mind. They didn’t have to worry about it just then.

Just as Iwaizumi reached his hand out, Hinata stood to turn out the lights. Once the room was dark, he stripped and got into the bed again.

“Put me to sleep,” Hinata said.

“I don’t think that came out how you meant it,” Iwaizumi chuckled lightly, moving to hover over him.

“Whatever,” Hinata said. “Just do it.”

Iwaizumi sighed at his tone but complied. He leaned down to kiss him, staying at his mouth for a moment before trailing down his jaw to his neck. He ran his hands down Hinata’s ribs and dug his thumb into the dip in his hip, which was something he normally loved, but that time warranted no reaction.

Iwaizumi frowned before trying another sure fire way to get a reaction from his fiance. He dipped their hips together before leaning down and licking the shell of his ear and moving to kiss behind it, all the while tugging lightly at his hair. When Hinata remained unreactive, Iwaizumi sat up.

“We don’t have to do this,” he said gently.

“You give up easily,” Hinata said.

Iwaizumi glared at him before going back in to give it another shot. He dug his nails into Hinata’s thighs as he brought him roughly in. He bit and sucked at his neck, taking his frustrations out on it. But it got a reaction. Hinata’s arms flew up and wrapped around Iwaizumi, holding him close. He relished in each light pant in his ear.

“Careful what you wish for,” he whispered in Hinata’s ear. “You just might get it.”

The next morning they were woken by a knock at their door. Hinata groaned loudly, rarely able to sleep in, and covered his head with his pillow.

Iwaizumi got up and threw on some underwear before covering Hinata with the blanket. He opened the door a crack to look at Ushijima. He was fully dressed, formally, too, and carried a tray with two plates of breakfast and two cups of coffee and orange juice each on it.

“I made you breakfast to help repay you for your hospitality.”

“Wow,” Iwaizumi opened the door and took the tray from him. “No, no, we’ll come eat with you.”

“I ate while I waited for you to get up. You two slept in.”

“What? What time is it?”

“Eight thirty.”

Iwaizumi was tempted to slap him right there, but controlled himself, “Right. Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Iwaizumi put the tray on the dresser and turned back to the door, where Ushijima still stood, “Yes?”

“Shouldn’t we be going soon?”

“Going  _ where?” _

“To the party.”

“Ushijima… It’s eight thirty.”

“I’m aware. You told me we were helping her set up.”

“The party is at five at night.”

“Yes.”

Iwaizumi rubbed his face before looking at him again, “We’ll go at one.”

“That’s far too late. What about traffic?”

“I considered the traffic.”

Ushijima hummed, “Alright. I’ll—“

“ _ Everyone SHUT UP!”  _ Hinata yelled from under his pillow. “Please.”

Ushijima looked between them before turning on his heel and walking away, “Sex markings are unbecoming.”

Iwaizumi’s face flushed as he looked down at all the bruises covering his skin— some new, some old— as well as the claw marks Hinata gifted him.

‘ _ Great,’  _ he thought.

They were all showered, dressed and in the car by ten. Ushijima wouldn’t let up about how rude it would be if they were late, so they went early, just to shut him up. Leilani wouldn’t mind. They drove to Hinata’s aggressive rap music, and the energy in the car was tense. Ushijima sat in the back seat, leaning down to avoid hitting his head on the low roof, with the plant in his lap. He stared out the window, attempting to ignore the music. Iwaizumi pulled into Leilani’s driveway and parked.

They got out and walked to the back door as instructed, and found her working in the garden. She wore denim overalls that ended in shorts, a pale yellow shirt that contrasted beautifully against her deep olive skin, golden sandals and a large sun hat over her hair. Iwaizumi noted her beauty. Talia was beautiful, too, but she didn’t hold a candle to Leilani. He wasn’t sure if it was just his friend group, or LA, or California or America as a whole, but the people were all so  _ beautiful. _

“Hey!” Iwaizumi called.

She startled and turned quickly to look at them, “Hey! You’re…” She checked her phone. “Three hours early.”

“Sorry, I forgot to text you,” Iwaizumi laughed awkwardly. Leilani looked up at Ushijima. “This is—“

“Wakatoshi! Your father talks about you all the time!” Leilani took off her gardening gloves and wiped at her brow.

Ushijima stepped forward, looking much paler than normal, Iwaizumi thought, then blurted awkwardly, “My father has never mentioned you. I brought you this plant. It is called th—“

She clapped with a smile, “A prayer plant!”

Iwaizumi and Hinata stared between the two, absolutely bewildered. Did she not hear him slight her?

“This is such a perfect gift to give someone you don’t know! They can grow just about anywhere! Thank you so much! You have to let me give you some money for it!” She practically sang as she took the plant from his outstretched hands.

“—...Calathea Medallion.”

He blinked down at her and she stared up at him before she bowed the best she could with the plant. Iwaizumi couldn’t believe to see there was only a couple inches of a height difference between them. He knew she was tall, but he didn’t realize she was  _ that  _ tall.

“I am  _ so  _ sorry for interrupting you! I was just so excited!”

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Come inside, I’ll get some drinks and get Ushijima some money for this lovely gift.”

“It’s a gift. Why would you give me money?”

“That’s my culture! If you don’t accept the money, I’ll get you back somehow else!” She laughed. “Gotta give everyone a fair warning, right?”

Ushijima hummed as he trailed behind the group into the small stucco home. Her house was small, but it was homey. She made even more than Iwaizumi due to her large commission rate, but sent a percentage of her paycheque back home. She explained to him how the Natives in Hawaii weren’t very well looked after and the whole point to her finishing school and moving to California— other than self satisfaction— was to support her family. Iwaizumi thought that was incredible of her, but she rejected any praise. She said it’s what everyone should do, and that if everyone began to behave as a community then everyone would be better for it.

She sat the new plant next to a larger version of itself, “Aw, look! It’s just a baby!”

“It’s an adult plant,” Ushijima said.

She looked at him strangely for a second, “Yeah! But in size!” She looked back at the plants, “For now, anyway. It’ll grow!”

“Happy birthday, by the way!” Hinata exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you!”

Iwaizumi went in after Hinata, “Happy birthday, Leilani.”

“Thanks, Iwa!” She pressed her nose to his.

She looked up at Ushijima once Iwaizumi pulled away and from where he stood, it looked as though the mammoth of a man went three shades lighter. He put his hand out, as if going to a handshake. Iwaizumi screamed internally.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thank you!” She laughed, eyes crinkling as she did so.

She shook his hand with both of hers enthusiastically. Ushijima stared at his hand for a second before looking back at her.

“How tall are you?”

Hinata immediately moved forward, “You don’t just  _ ask  _ that! How rud—“

“It’s okay, Shōyō,” she laughed. “I get it all the time. I don’t mind. I’m six foot one and a little bit.”

“That’s impressive. You would be an asset in volleyball if you held any skill.”

“I actually  _ do  _ play volleyball,” she said. “Recreationally, now, anyway.”

Iwaizumi noticed Ushijima’s face go paler, “Oh. Which position do you play?”

“I was always forced to play middle blocker,” she shrugged. “I learned to love it. That was the position where I could help my team best.”

Hinata nudged Iwaizumi and pointed discreetly at them. Iwaizumi pushed him lightly and nodded. They were, in fact, watching the same thing.

“That is an important quality in a player.”

“Agreed! Anyway,” she clapped. “Let’s wash up and get to work!”

Hinata looked around as he waited for his turn to wash his hands. It was so hot in her house. It was almost wet. There were a million plants and stones and candles and flags and tapestries all around. He got a bo-ho, hippie, modern witch sort of vibe from the space, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Once they were all washed up, they regathered in the kitchen, finding it was very cramped. She asked Hinata to hang decorations in the living room then asked Ushijima to be sure Hinata didn’t get into any trouble. Iwaizumi stayed in the kitchen to help her start cooking.

She moved to the living room and set up her phone onto the bluetooth speaker and played with what Iwaizumi could only describe as Hawaiian music. It was shockingly good. He’d take it  _ any  _ day over Hinata’s music. When she got back, they got to work.

Iwaizumi switched jobs with Ushijima when Hinata wouldn’t stop arguing with him. It was a bit embarrassing, but Leilani just laughed. Iwaizumi didn’t think Hinata  _ really  _ needed supervision, so he asked for some food to prep in the dining room. That way he could also spy on Ushijima. He had the sneaking suspicion that he might’ve had some sort of attraction to Leilani and Iwaizumi couldn’t really blame him. He never saw it before, but he had to think if there was a perfect woman for him, it’d be her. So, he watched them in his peripheral to get his proof as he chopped.

“You any good at cooking?” She asked as she cut up meat.

“I’ve been told so,” Ushijima said. “It’s just following directions.”

She laughed and they worked on in silence, Ushijima looking borderline flustered whenever she’d get too close to him.

“What are you up to in California?” She asked.

Iwaizumi nearly yelled when Ushijima  _ hesitated  _ before answering, “I’m meeting my fiancée.”

“Oh, yeah?” Her smile looked fake. “I didn’t know you were getting married. Your father hasn’t mentioned it.”

“My mother is arranging it. My father doesn’t approve.”

‘ _ He's getting so personal,’  _ Iwaizumi thought.

“It’s an arranged marriage?” She looked at him. He stared down at his task and remained silent. “I hate to sound ignorant, but I feel like I can relate on a small level.”

He glanced at her, then back down to the cutting board.

“I’m from Hawaii and if you want to count as a “ _ real Native Hawaiian”  _ then you need to be at least 50% actually Native Hawaiian. Otherwise, the government won’t help you.”

Ushijima continued chopping silently, but she pushed on, “It’s a real mess over there. A third of Hawaii’s homeless population are Natives, but they only make up 10% of the total population. But that’s why I relate. If I choose to marry someone who isn’t a Native Hawaiian, then our children won’t be considered “ _ actually Native”  _ by the government. Our population goes down significantly with each generation. It hurts my heart.”

He finally looked up at her, but still said nothing. Iwaizumi sympathized, what could someone say in that situation?

“Marry for love,” Ushijima said, then stared hard at the cutting board as he continued. “Your blood will remain strong in your veins. Honor your culture by practicing it.”

She looked astonished at him, and put her own knife down, “What about you? Why don’t you marry for love, then?”

“I am honoring my culture by practicing it.”

She frowned before looking back at her own job and continuing on with it. They didn’t speak to each other again until everything was ready to cook. She checked the time and sighed.

“We still have a  _ while  _ before we need to start cooking,” she said. “What do you wanna do?”

“We can play some volleyball,” Hinata suggested.

“Don’t you ever get sick of it?” Leilani laughed, but grabbed her volleyball from the bookshelf.

“Never,” Hinata admitted.

She laughed that genuine, eye-crinkling laugh once again as she led them back outside, “I don’t have a net, but we can do some other things with the ball.”

“I wanna see you serve,” Iwaizumi said. “You're always bragging about that serve.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Iwa!”

The words rang around in Iwaizumi and Hinata’s heads, their faces flushing as they remembered the previous night. Leilani tossed the ball up and allowed it to land on the ground before pointing at the three men.

“Warm up! I will not be responsible for injuring Olympic athletes!”

Iwaizumi laughed while Hinata grumbled. They all stretched and warmed up together before Iwaizumi threw the ball back to Leilani.

“It’s all you,” he smiled.

“Wait! I’ll try to receive it!” Hinata laughed and ran to the other end of the yard. “Make it feel real!”

“You went too far back,” Ushijima said. “She’s just a woman, it won’t go that far.”

Hinata frowned and moved forward. Leilani side eyed Ushijima but didn’t say anything. She threw the ball up then ran to meet it, hand slapping against it satisfyingly. The ball flew right past Hinata and landed behind him, shaking his hair on its way. The ginger slowly turned to look at where the ball sat in the grass.

“Yeah,” she breathed. “But I’m  _ just  _ a woman.”

“That was incredible!” Hinata screamed. “Iwa! Did you see that! I couldn’t even react!”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi tried to regain his composure. “That definitely is a serve worth bragging about. You jumped so high.”

“Are you insulted?” Ushijima asked, startling everyone else.

“What?” She asked.

“Did I insult you by calling you a woman?”

“No, you insulted me by calling me  _ just  _ a woman.”

“I apologize. That isn’t how I meant it,” Ushijima bowed to her. “Please, tie your hair up before we continue.”

She shook her head, “What?”

“It could get caught on something.”

She snorted as she began putting her hair into a bun, “You’re a pretty weird dude. Lucky for you, it’s my birthday and I tend to be a very forgiving person.”

Hinata and Iwaizumi shared a look. Things were getting weirder. They continued playing until Iwaizumi pointed out they’d all be gross by the time everyone else showed up if they kept on. They did their cool down stretches then headed back inside.

Hinata slumped on the couch and fanned at himself with his hand, “It’s so hot today.”

Leilani turned on a fan as she nodded, “Yeah, it’s pretty brutal.”

“And we still have to cook,” Iwaizumi groaned.

Leilani went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of iced tea for everyone and a bowl of chilled pineapple, which they took gratefully.

“So, Ushijima,” Iwaizumi said. “How long are you planning on staying with us?”

“For the month.”

“A month?” Hinata couldn’t help his tone.

“Yes, my fiancée is held up with work. She had to delay her return.”

“Shouldn’t you be spending this month practicing with your team?”

“I can practice wherever I am.”

“Kageyama doesn’t really need all that prep time, I guess,” Hinata mumbled. “He can get used to a hitter within three attempts during an actual game, the bastard.”

“You haven't referred to your fiancée by her name yet. What is it?” Leilani asked.

“Charlotte Beauford.”

“ _ The  _ Charlotte Beauford?”

“Yes.”

“Who is Charlotte Beauford?” Iwaizumi asked.

“The heiress to Clifford Beauford’s estate!” Leilani nearly shouted.

“That clears  _ nothing  _ up,” Iwaizumi muttered.

“The Beauford family is very  _ old money  _ American. They have their hands dipped in just about every industry you can think of. It’s quite a big deal. What’s she like?”

Ushijima just stared at her until she realized, “Oh, right! I’m sorry!”

Their uncomfortable moment was broken by someone knocking on the back door, which she jumped up to get immediately. When she came back, Cole was walking closely behind her with his hand on her lower back. Iwaizumi quickly looked to gauge Ushijima’s reaction. He definitely noticed. Iwaizumi laughed to himself.

“Hey, guys,” Cole greeted. “You’re early.”

“Tell me about it,” Leilani laughed. “I’ll go get you a drink, Cole!”

Cole quickly leaned in as soon as she was out of earshot, “I think I’m gonna go for it today!”

“Go for what?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You’re going to ask her out?” Hinata asked.

Cole nodded, “Yeah! I think it’ll go well.”

Iwaizumi grimaced, “I don’t know, maybe wai—“

Cole shushed him as Leilani came back with a glass of iced tea and a bottle of tequila. Once the tea was out of her hand she shook the bottle.

“Any takers?”

Iwaizumi nearly kissed her feet but managed to control himself, “Please.”

By the time the food was cooked and the rest of the guests arrived, most of them were drunk. They texted Talia and Ryan to pick up more alcohol on the way. Once the guests arrived, Leilani presented leis to them all. She would bow each time and hold them above her heart before presenting them to the guest. She made sure to not hand any female guests a pre-tied lei, too.

“How come you guys aren’t wearing any?” Talia beamed down at her lei before asking Ryan to tie it for her.

“Oh,” Leilani frowned down at her own chest. “I forgot.”

She grabbed a few leis and approached the original group of friends, presenting each with one, kissing them each on the cheek after they accepted. Iwaizumi slipped and laughed out loud at Ushijima after she kissed him on the cheek. He covered his mouth and quickly excused himself when they looked at him strangely.

Hinata watched Iwaizumi go before looking back at Leilani, “Why don’t you put them on us?”

“Putting my hands above your head like that is disrespectful. Also, you accepting it yourself is a sign that you’re accepting my friendship!”

“I love that!” Hinata beamed as he placed the wreath around his neck. “You’re amazing!”

“You’re drunk!” She smiled back. “Get some food!”

Hinata laughed and nodded, standing to do as he was told. She rounded on Ushijima who hadn’t said a word since before the guests arrived.

“You too!”

“I’m not hungry.” He paused. “Thank you, though.”

She frowned at him and put her hands on her hips, “You don’t go to a luau and  _ not  _ eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he repeated. “It would be rude to take food I don’t plan on eating.”

“Our cultures clash once again,” she laughed as she took his hand and pulled him up. “In my culture it’s rude not to take food even if you don’t plan on eating it.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ushijima said.

“Maybe, but it feels like home,” she flashed a smile over her shoulder at him.

Iwaizumi listened from a distance and watched him follow her, regardless of how much he seemed to disagree. He even let her  _ pull  _ him. It was so peculiar.

“Have you ever tried this?” She asked him.

“What is it?”

“Amazing, is what it is!” She laughed, cutting a piece of pie. “It’s Haupia pie!”

“I don’t like sweets.”

“Just try it!” She held a fork up to him.

He reluctantly took the fork from her and tasted the pie. She watched eagerly as he chewed.

“It’s too sweet.”

Iwaizumi cringed, but Leilani just laughed and moved onto something different. She wiped his fork with a napkin and stabbed it into a shrimp and handed it back to him. He didn’t require an entire lecture that time. He just took it and tasted it. He was  _ learning.  _

“How many cloves of garlic did you use?” He scrunched his face up.

_ ‘He emoted!’  _ Iwaizumi bounced in place. He had far too much tequila.

Leilani laughed so hard her face turned red, “You’re really something, you know.”

Iwaizumi’s attention was diverted from the train wreck in front of him as Cole stepped into his line of vision.

“Hey, Iwaizumi?”

“Yeah?”

“You notice anything going on there?” He discreetly gestured to Leilani and Ushijima. “It kinda looks like she’s thirsty for him.”

Iwaizumi nearly choked on his rice at the phrasing. The idea that  _ anyone _ could say  _ anyone  _ looked  _ thirsty  _ for Ushijima was too much for him to handle. He put his plate hastily on the nearest surface and hit his chest until he could breathe again, “Holy shit.”

“Uh?” Cole stared at him strangely.

“I’m sorry… I just.”

“Isn’t that Wakatoshi Ushijima? Why’s he even here?”

“He’s our boss’s son,” Iwaizumi said, eliciting a shocked expression from Cole. “He’s staying with me and Hinata this month so he can meet his fiancée for his arranged marriage.”

“Oh,” Cole looked back at them. “So, she doesn’t have a shot?”

“Nah,” Iwaizumi said. “It’d be fun to watch, though.”

Cole hummed, seemingly weighing his options, “Should I still ask her out?”

“I’d personally wait until after her birthday, but it’s your choice,” Iwaizumi shrugged.

“Really? Why?”

“Because if she rejects you, it might make her day less good. And she deserves a good day.”

“You think she’ll reject me?”

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi admitted. “She’s gorgeous, kind and smart. There has to be a reason she’s still single.”

“She told me she doesn’t date for a couple of reasons,” Talia materialized beside them. “The first is because she thinks she needs to date someone who shares her peoples’ blood. The other reason is that she said she can’t find anyone genuine. She said people are too superficial and just come onto her because she’s, and I’m quoting, ‘ _ mad thick’. _ ”

They looked back as she forced poke on Ushijima, who actually seemed partially satisfied by it. Probably because it was the closest thing to Japanese cuisine on the table.

Cole hummed and walked away from them. Talia and Iwaizumi shared a look before clicking their drinks together and downing the rest.

The rest of the party moved along without a hitch. Leilani moved around the room, forcing her friends to try the less appetizing foods, which all ended up tasting  _ way  _ better than they looked. She passed around bowls of chilled fruits and made people try coconut water. She told stories of her parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles, of which there were so many that Iwaizumi had to assume they weren’t all  _ really  _ related to her. She even demonstrated hula dancing and explained its sacred and long history amongst her people. Hinata realized early on that one of them would have to drive them home and since Iwaizumi showed no sign of slowing down, he put the alcohol aside. He noted how social his fiance became as he got drunker. Just like the party where they first kissed.

He also noticed how Ushijima seemed to watch Leilani wherever she went. He wondered if he should talk to Ushijima about whatever was happening there, but decided he didn’t care. 

‘ _ A romantic connection is only as good as the soil it grows out of,’  _ Hinata thought bitterly. ‘ _ Not helping him into her life is the best favor I can do for her.’ _

Ushijima munched on the grilled vegetables. He decided they were his favorite. Leilani appeared beside him and she positively glowed.

“Decided to eat something on your own, huh?”

“You grew these vegetables yourself,” Ushijima stated.

“Yep! Home grown!”

“I also garden,” he said.

“Yeah? It’s so cathartic.”

He hummed as he picked at the vegetables. She watched him for a moment before smiling warmly and placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked back up, still unused to not having to look far down to make eye contact with someone. 

“Thank you for coming. And for the plant. It’s beautiful.”

Iwaizumi watched Ushijima watch her walk away. Even being close to trashed, he saw the slight delay in his reaction and the flash in his eye. He cackled.

‘ _ Oh, man, he’s done for.’ _

When they returned home, Hinata got Iwaizumi in the shower, then into bed. Iwaizumi stared at the ceiling and laughed as it spun.

“That was so much fun.”

“It really was, wasn’t it?” Hinata sat on the edge of the bed. “She glows when she talks about her family.”

“They seem really close,” Iwaizumi agreed.

“Are we gonna talk about her and Ushijima?”

“Please!” Iwaizumi shot up and immediately regretted it.

“That was  _ insane _ ,” Hinata laughed. “I didn’t know he had emotions.”

“Not that he really  _ showed  _ any,” Iwaizumi pressed his hands over his face.

“The best part is that he met her while he waits to meet his fiancée,” Hinata snorted.

“That’s the sad part,” Iwaizumi corrected.

“Depends how you look at it,” Hinata shrugged.

Iwaizumi suddenly felt very  _ sad.  _ Poor Ushijima. They were talking about how rare it is to show any sort of emotion, and when he does, it doesn’t matter.

“Go talk to him,” Iwaizumi demanded.

“ _ What?”  _

“Talk to him! I’m gonna cry,” Iwaizumi rolled over and pulled the blankets over himself.

“You’re not allowed to drink anymore,” Hinata crossed his arms. “Nothing good comes of it.”

“You’re freaking  _ mean  _ sometimes,” Iwaizumi laughed wryly. “Please, go talk to him.”

“If that’ll make you happy,” Hinata sighed as he stood.

“I love you,” Iwaizumi mumbled, already on his way to being asleep.

“Yep, love you, too,” Hinata rolled his eyes as he left the bedroom.

He looked all over the house for the giant, but couldn’t find him until he caught a glimpse of him through the curtains over the patio doors. He slid the door open and stepped into the mild night. Ushijima sat on the cement steps, nursing a drink and staring up at the sky.

“There aren’t any stars here,” Ushijima said, not looking at him.

“Yeah,” Hinata sat beside him and looked up with him.

The only noise was from the crickets around them. There was no wind and the neighbors were quiet for the first time ever. Hinata wasn’t sure how to approach the topic at hand.

“You come home from a party  _ then _ drink? You’ve got it all backwards.”

“I couldn’t drink at that party,” Ushijima said, taking a sip.

The silence grew long between them once again before Hinata sighed.

“Look, I know we don’t really like each other, but can we have an honest conversation if I vow never to bring it up again?”

Ushijima looked actually confused for a split second, “We don’t like each other?”

“I—…” Hinata pursed his lips, looked to the ground then looked back to the sky, “Can we talk about it?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Leilani,” Hinata glared at him. “I’m sure you knew that.”

“What about her?” Ushijima said around the lip of his glass.

“You’re obviously interested in her.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That’s not what I said.”

Ushijima lowered his glass and sighed before finally looking back at Hinata, “You won’t mention this to anyone again?”

“I promise.”

“I’ve never met a warmer person.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t know Charlotte, but I have to imagine she won’t be like that. I have to imagine no one would be like that.”

“Warm?”

“Genuine.”

“Oh.”

“She knew about the plant.”

“She did.”

“She grows her own food.”

“She does.”

“She is connected to the earth and her people.”

“She is.”

“She isn’t prideful. She knows her capabilities and rightfully speaks of them.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve never… Felt so strongly about a woman.”

Hinata looked at him and nodded.

“I don’t know, though. I only met her once. I probably won’t see her again.”

They sat in silence, the crickets seemingly growing louder with every chirp.

Ushijima’s voice was shockingly vulnerable, “How do you know?”

“How do you know what?”

Ushijima looked back at him, “How do you know if you genuinely like someone? Romantically? I’ve never done it.”

Hinata couldn’t stop his smile, “I think if you have to ask…”

Ushijima looked back to the sky and stayed silent. Hinata couldn’t help but feel warm at how he spoke about her. Coming from a normal person, it would’ve been nonsense, but coming from him, it felt like a big deal.

“Do you want to see her again?”

Ushijima slowly nodded, “Yes.” He paused for a long moment. “When she spoke to me it felt like I hit a service ace.”

“You know,” Hinata looked up to the sky with him. “I think she feels the same.”

He didn’t look back at him, “You think so?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m engaged.”

“Yeah, well…” Hinata said as he stood. Ushijima looked back at him as he turned to go back inside. “Sometimes to be happy, you have to take a risk. And...” He paused with his hand on the door, “Someone once told me that love doesn’t really care about your plans.”

Ushijima stared after him as he stepped back into the house. After a moment he turned back to the sky and snorted amusedly. He shook his head and took a long drink.


	8. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS PORN.  
> It may also be triggering to some, so if that isn’t your cup of tea, I will make it clear in the text body, and you can just skip below it<3

The next two weeks passed quickly but they also felt like an eternity. Practices maintained their intensity and Ushijima was still a lichen in their home. Leilani seemed to ask to come talk about the wedding more often than previously, but Hinata confused Iwaizumi by consistently creating excuses to turn her down.

Iwaizumi woke early that morning to see Hinata off to work despite having the day off. He shut his alarm off and rolled over to bring his fiance close, but his arm landed on an empty bed. He opened his eyes and frowned. He got up and didn’t bother putting anything over his underwear. If Ushijima was going to decide to stay with them for an entire  _ month,  _ he could get used to Iwaizumi’s ass in his boxers. Iwaizumi walked out and checked the bathroom for Hinata, but he wasn’t there. He heard clattering from the kitchen and went to check it out.

Hinata stood at the counter, pouring coffee into a travel mug. He wore dungaree pants and a loose button up shirt. Iwaizumi smiled at him. He looked really nice. He wrapped his arms around his waist and frowned as the ginger tensed up.

“Good morning,” Iwaizumi pressed his face into his shoulder.

“Hey,” Hinata said, breaking away to finish packing his lunch.

“Don’t forget a protein bar,” Iwaizumi leaned against the counter as he watched him.

Hinata reached into his bag and shook a protein bar over his shoulder before throwing it back in. Iwaizumi poured himself a cup of coffee, relishing the deep taste and warm feeling of it as he drank.

“Where’s Ushijima?”

“He went for a run,” Hinata said.

“Oh, good,” Iwaizumi said as he reapproached Hinata.

He once again wrapped his arms around the ginger and kissed him behind his ear. He made his way down his neck, each touch slow and purposeful. He ran his hands down Hinata’s chest and pulled his shirt loose from the waistband of his pants so he could run his hands back up against his skin.

Hinata felt tense once again, but Iwaizumi pushed through. He licked over the skin where his neck met his shoulder, then sucked lightly. He massaged into Hinata’s sides as he grazed his teeth over his sweet spot. Hinata grabbed him by the wrist as his hand travelled lower. Iwaizumi broke his contact with his neck and looked down at his hand where it was being denied access.

“I don’t have time for this,” Hinata said, redirecting Iwaizumi’s hand back to him.

“What’s going on with you?” Iwaizumi asked, equal parts hurt and embarrassed.

“I have to go to work,” Hinata said as he tucked his shirt back in.

“It isn’t just right now.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

Iwaizumi stared at him until he met his eye, “You’re being so distant. You never talk to me unless I ask you something. You don’t touch me unless we’re having sex, which you don’t even seem to enjoy anymore. What did I do?”

Hinata shook his head and grabbed his bag. He walked by Iwaizumi, “Nothing.”

Frustration and anger pushed his hurt and embarrassed feelings aside and took center stage in his chest. He grabbed Hinata by the wrist and held him there.

He did his best to keep his voice even, “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like you can’t talk to me. But  _ please,  _ communicate.”

The anger flared in him when Hinata snorted. What was funny? Hinata tore his hand away and turned to face him.

“What have  _ you  _ ever communicated?”

Iwaizumi’s jaw dropped, “ _ What?” _

“You don’t communicate anything.”

“What haven’t I communicated?”

“Okay,” Hinata threw his bag down on the counter. He was committed now. “How about inviting Ushijima to stay with us for an undetermined amount of time?”

“My boss asked me for a personal favor. I was put on the spot and couldn’t say no. I  _ told  _ you that  _ and  _ I apologized!”

“Fine.”

“That’s what you said last time, too! You said you understood. You don’t forgive something then bring it up in a fight later.”

“Fine,” Hinata repeated.

“What else? That can’t be the real issue.”

“If you don’t know then I can’t help you,” Hinata went back to grab his bag.

Iwaizumi reached out and held him by the wrist again. He wasn’t done.

“That isn’t fair. A fight is entirely pointless if you don’t  _ try _ to find a solution. What’s the point of shutting me out? What’s the point of fighting with me? Just  _ talk to me.” _

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Hinata said, ripping his hand away again. “You’re being aggressive and it’s scaring me.”

Iwaizumi put his hands up and stepped back, “I’d never hurt you. I just don’t understand.”

They vaguely heard the door open and close as Ushijima got home. They were too caught up in their argument to care.

Hinata chewed his cheek and stared at him, “I think we need some distance.”

“ _ What?  _ No, Hinata-“

Iwaizumi stepped forward but faltered when the ginger took an equal step back. Iwaizumi ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily.

“If that’s what you think you need.”

“It is,” Hinata wouldn’t look at him.

“Can you tell me why?”

“No.”

“Can you tell me for how long?”

“I’m not sure.”

Iwaizumi stared hard at him, imploring him for any sort of answer. His heart began cracking when he noticed the tears in fiancé’s eyes.

“You know I love you, right?” Iwaizumi’s voice cracked and he covered his throat with his hand.

“Yeah,” Hinata breathed.

“Do you still love me?”

The lump in Iwaizumi’s throat grew and his nose stung as tears threatened him. He shoved the urge to cry away. He waited for Hinata to say or do anything.  _ Anything at all.  _ Then, Hinata slowly nodded.

“Of course I do. I’ll always love you.”

Iwaizumi’s heart cracked further as a tear fell down his love’s cheek. He wanted to reach out to him, but knew better. Hinata slowly grabbed his bag and backed up to the door.

“I have to go.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow…” Iwaizumi looked up. “At work.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Hinata said quietly.

Iwaizumi watched him turn and leave. He stared at the kitchen doorway until he heard the door open then shut and a car engine started outside. He heard the gravel crunch in the driveway as it was driven over. Then, he heard nothing. All at once, he collapsed in on himself. He leaned heavily on the counter and covered his face with his hands. He dug his fingers into his skin as his face became hotter. He couldn’t hold the tears back any longer and allowed himself to fall apart.

He nearly hit the roof when he felt a hand on his back. He whipped around and looked up at Ushijima.

‘ _ Fantastic,’  _ he thought bitterly.

“Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

Iwaizumi turned back towards the counter and scrubbed at his face with the heel of his palm. How humiliating.

“If you ignore your problems they will get bigger.”

“I was  _ trying  _ to deal with my problems! How can I know what’s wrong if he won’t tell me?” Iwaizumi shouted, voice cracking multiple times.

He groaned and pulled on his hair, tears taking it upon themselves to spill over once again. He felt so angry and betrayed. He put so much into their relationship, he put  _ everything  _ on the line multiple times and Hinata wouldn’t even have a simple conversation? Fuck him.

“If you are uncomfortable talking to me, then you should call someone different.”

“ _ I don’t want to talk about it!” _

Iwaizumi approached the giant and threw his arms down as he yelled in his face. Ushijima didn’t back down under his heated glare. Rather, he placed a hand on his shoulder. Iwaizumi wanted to shove his hand off, shove  _ him,  _ and tell him to go fuck himself.

“It doesn’t have to be now, but soon.”

Iwaizumi yelled angrily and pushed by him and stormed back to his room. The second the door was slammed behind him, the anger snapped and turned to deep sadness. He was so confused. Why wasn’t he worth the effort to Hinata? Why should he even care? He climbed back into the bed and wrapped the blankets tightly around himself. He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep, but the sobs racked at him. He felt so pathetic.

Hinata stepped onto the court at practice, feeling numb to the world around him. He ran through the warm up and stretched alongside his team. They practiced and it was  _ fine.  _ It wasn’t spectacular either way, good or bad. Or maybe it was. He couldn’t focus no matter how hard he tried.

They were given a fifteen minute break for a snack and to catch their breaths. Hinata sat on the floor and pulled out his lunch. He held the protein bar in his hand, just staring at it. His mind ran over green eyes and brown hair, warm touch and interwoven souls. His vision couldn’t take in the lettering on the bar as it glazed over with wetness.

He startled when he felt a shoe make contact with his thigh. He looked up and saw  _ different  _ brown hair with unfortunately blue eyes.

“Oh, hey, Ryan.”

“Hey,” Ryan said enthusiastically before sitting in front of him. “Where are you today?”

Hinata looked around before settling on staring at him strangely, “I’m… right in front of you?”

“Maybe physically,” Ryan smiled and tapped his head. “But mentally, you’re on a far away island. Or somewhere, but wherever it is, it’s not here!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, have I been doing poorly?” Hinata looked back down to his protein bar.

“No, not really,” Ryan leaned forward on his hands to see what was so interesting about Hinata’s snack. “But the fact that you didn’t know proves my point.”

“I guess you're right,” Hinata allowed the snack to be taken from him. “I’m a bit distracted.”

Ryan unwrapped the bar and handed it back to Hinata, “Obviously. Why?”

“I’m fighting with Iwaizumi.”

“Uh oh,” Ryan leaned back on his hands and watched Hinata reluctantly eat. “How come?”

“I'm not sure.”

The setter frowned at him, “What do you mean? Like, he instigated something and you’re not sure why?”

“No, I instigated.”

“That… Doesn’t make sense.”

Ryan’s eyes widened as Hinata slammed his hand over his eyes and yelled, “ _ I know!” _

“Okay, okay,” Ryan scrambled forward once he saw tears falling down Hinata’s cheeks and placed his hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay.”

“It isn’t!” Hinata said, his head falling into Ryan’s chest.

“Okay, let’s figure this out,” Ryan sighed and bit his lip. “What started the fight?”

“Nothing. He kept asking me what’s wrong and asked me to communicate with him.”

“Okay?”

“That’s it.”

Ryan’s eyes moved around, not landing on any one thing as he thought, “What upset you about that?”

“He’s so nice. He…” Hinata’s voice broke. “He’s perfect.”

“That’s a  _ good _ thing, Hinata.”

“It’s not!” Hinata snapped.

“ _ Why _ ?” 

“Because we can’t stay together!”

Ryan recoiled, hands flying off of the spiker. He stared at him in shock, mind reeling.

“Why? What? Where is this coming from?”

“He told me he doesn’t want kids. I do. That’s something that people break up over. It’s too big a thing to disagree on.”

“He won’t think about it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I tried to ignore it at first, but my  _ stupid _ brain wouldn’t let it go.”

“Your brain isn’t stupid,” Ryan sighed, sitting back again. “It  _ is  _ a big thing. But something you need to talk about more before you just give up. You’re pretty lucky because he  _ wants  _ to talk things out with you. Not a lot of relationships are like that anymore.”

“He’s gotta be so mad right now. I’d be. I was so unreasonable,” Hinata groaned. “What if he doesn’t forgive me?”

“I’m sure he’s wishing you’d come back right now,” Ryan said. “I can’t see him ever quitting on you.”

“Not even if I tell him I won’t compromise on the kids thing?”

“I doubt it,” Ryan said honestly. Hinata stared up at him. “I’d maybe give him the night. Let him think about what happened today, then try again tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Hinata wiped at his face. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Ryan jumped up and smiled, “You kinda proved a point for me! Everyone fights!”

Hinata frowned up at him and stayed silent. Ryan held his hands on his hips as he looked around at the gym.

“Couples who don’t fight are just as unhealthy as the couples who fight too much. You just have to learn to fight the right way!” He smiled back at Hinata and used a cheeky tone as he gestured to his ear, “The key is  _ active  _ listening!”

“That’s surprising coming from you,” Cole quipped. “You have a listening problem.”

“I listen  _ all the time _ !” Ryan rounded on him. “Like how I  _ listened  _ to Lani reject your sorry ass!”

Cole rolled his eyes, “Whatever. She’s allowed to say no. And her name is  _ Lei _ lani.”

“Leilani,” Ryan repeated with a smile as he crossed his arm. “The girl who’s too good for you!”

“She’s too good for a lot of men,” Cole shrugged. “Guess I’m just not her type.”

Hinata ate his protein bar with red cheeks as he watched them squabble. He failed to realize the rest of his team probably heard his meltdown and that was incredibly humiliating. The only solace he found was in the knowledge that Iwaizumi would never hear about it. His team had his back.

Iwaizumi padded through the hall, his blanket still wrapped around himself. He entered the living room and watched Ushijima readjust the decor at minute angles. The giant didn’t look at him despite how much Iwaizumi’s gaze bored into him. 

“I’m ready to talk,” Iwaizumi mumbled.

“I will make tea,” Ushijima said, leaving the room.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. It was his only shield from being willingly emotionally vulnerable with Ushijima. The giant returned and handed Iwaizumi his cup before sitting next to him.

“We fought,” Iwaizumi said awkwardly, not knowing how to start.

“Yes.”

“We’ve been growing apart these past couple weeks. He doesn’t seem like the same person anymore,” his eyes stung. “I don’t know  _ why.” _

“Have you asked him?”

“Yes. Many times. He says that if I don’t know then he can’t help me. And I—“ His voice broke and he stared into his tea. “He says he wants  _ distance.  _ I don’t think he’s coming home tonight.”

“What have you done to upset him?”

“ _ I don’t know!  _ That’s the problem.”

“If he wants you to figure it out, then do it.”

Iwaizumi’s mind reeled as he tried figuring out where the distance started. His memory landed on the night he brought Ushijima into their home. Hinata sat on top of him and asked him if he thought they’d still live there when they had kids.

_ Oh. _

“I don’t want kids,” he realized out loud.

“Why?”

Iwaizumi looked at him with wide eyes, unprepared to be that honest, but he pushed through. He was committed.

“I’m scared. Of being a bad father.” He took a deep breath. “My parents weren’t  _ good  _ parents. They fought all the time. One of those couples that stayed together for the kids, when really, the kids knew it’d be better if they just divorced. My dad… He drinks a lot. That’s what most of their fights were about. He was pretty unavailable because of that and I… I feel like I have a lot of issues because of that. And I can’t pass that down. I refuse.”

Ushijima hummed, urging him to continue, so he did.

“I’m the youngest of four siblings. The rest of them were actually moved out by the time I was old enough to realize there was a problem. I don’t really talk to them anymore. It’s been years. Not to mention,” Iwaizumi laughed. “I don’t even know if they’re  _ really  _ my siblings.”

He looked at Ushijima, who remained stoic, and continued, “Yeah! One day, my parents were fighting over me while I was home and my mom screamed at my dad that she hates him  _ so  _ much, that she cheated on him. That ‘ _ who knows if that last little asshole is even really yours?’  _ and…” He covered his mouth to stifle a laugh. “But I don’t really know. I hate it. I hate them. I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. I  _ do  _ know that I actually  _ really  _ love kids, but I don’t want to risk letting them down like I was.”

“Hinata fought with you over that?”

“I actually haven’t told him that… I haven’t ever told anyone that. Just Oikawa,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

They sat in silence and sipped their teas. Neither really knew what to say, but at least Iwaizumi knew what had to be done. He wasn’t about to change his mind on having kids, but at least he knew they had to talk about it. He had some thinking to do.

Hinata crept into the house at around three in the morning. He clicked the door shut as quietly as he could manage before sliding his shoes off. He tread lightly across the floors in the dark and hesitated outside of the bedroom door. He took a deep breath and turned the handle, pushing it open and stepping inside. He shut the door again and looked at where Iwaizumi slept.

He laid on his stomach, one leg bent at his side. He hugged his pillow to his head and his mouth was wide open. The blanket hung on the floor, leaving his toned body exposed. His hair was a complete mess and Hinata’s heart melted.

He slowly untucked and unbuttoned his shirt before sliding it off of his shoulders. He shed his pants and socks and tiptoed to the bed. He climbed up, leaving the blanket in its precarious position and sat there, just watching Iwaizumi breathe for a while. Nothing escaped the man’s attention, not even while asleep. He stirred before rolling over and hazily looking up at Hinata.

“Haji—“

Iwaizumi pressed his hand into Hinata’s face as he shushed him. He moved his hand behind the ginger’s neck and pulled him down into his chest. Hinata squeezed his eyes shut, pulling in Iwaizumi’s warmth, allowing himself to drown in it. His fiancé’s hand ran through his hair as he held him close, and Hinata felt  _ so  _ loved. His heart swelled, but it also hurt.

He turned his head up and looked at Iwaizumi’s face. His eyelashes were so dark against his skin and they fluttered as his eyes shifted behind their lids. He looked more at peace than Hinata expected. He smiled and pressed a kiss to his chin. Iwaizumi moved down without opening his eyes and claimed Hinata’s lips against his own.

* * *

* * *

He moved slowly in his mostly unconscious state. Hinata sighed against his mouth, and Iwaizumi immediately seized the opportunity to slide his tongue in. Hinata pressed his hand against his chest as he leaned further into the touch, groaning softly as Iwaizumi sucked on his tongue. He pushed Iwaizumi’s knees apart and moved between them, never breaking their kiss.

He caressed Iwaizumi tenderly wherever his hands could make contact, attempting to really feel his skin. Iwaizumi sighed heavily and lifted his arms above his head as Hinata ran his hands alongside the bottom of them. The ginger kissed down his jaw, hung around his neck for a bit longer, before kissing his way down his chest and stomach. He paused just under his navel, and looked up at Iwaizumi as he bit and sucked at the skin there. His eyes stayed shut but after a moment, his hand went down to Hinata’s head and gently pushed at him.

Hinata smiled as he moved back and teased his fingers under the elastic of his underwear, expanding and confining the space his erection had to exist in. Iwaizumi grunted and lifted his hips, pushing Hinata’s hands down and by extension, his underwear as well.

“Suck it,” he said.

Hinata’s spine shivered at the sound of his sleep voice. He always had a good voice but when it was rough and raw from sleep, it was much better. He moved down and licked his way up his fiance’s dick, taking the tip of it into his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking. Iwaizumi’s grip on his hair tightened and urged his head down. He took the direction and swallowed up his length, absolutely eating up the low groan he got as a reward.

He pulled away when Iwaizumi got riled up, pulling at Hinata’s hair and bucking his hips up impatiently. The loud pop that occurred when he pulled his lips away got him another groan from his fiance. He looked up at Iwaizumi with doe eyes, and once the brunet met that gaze, he transformed. He shot up, grabbed Hinata by the thighs and picked him up off the bed.

“I’m going to  _ fucking  _ wreck you,” he growled in his ear before throwing him back down.

He ripped Hinata’s underwear off of him, and took his cock in his mouth. The ginger squirmed under him and whined as he attempted to grip his short hair. Iwaizumi hollowed his cheeks out, giving his all into his efforts. By the time Hinata was a quivering mess under his mouth, he was feeling entirely in control. He took a moment to bite angry marks onto his hips and thighs before returning to his dick, shoving it all the way down his throat.

“Please, I’m go—“

“No, you’re not,” Iwaizumi snapped as he pulled away.

Hinata let out a decidedly pathetic whimper at the loss of contact. Iwaizumi reached to the bedside table and took the lube out of the drawer, spreading it liberally on his fingers. He teased Hinata’s cock while he prepped him, mostly running his free hand along it, while occasionally giving it a full few pumps. Something in him absolutely exploded each time his fiance would whine and attempt to follow his hand for more touch. Every pathetic noise that escaped his lips sent Iwaizumi further into his chaotic sexual fantasy of making him suffer.

He ran his fingers along inside of Hinata, rubbing in just the right places to make him absolutely wreathe. Iwaizumi felt out of breath just watching his flushed face ask he moaned and panted.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Please,” Hinata whined.

“Tell me.”

“Fuck me.”

“Fuck me, what?”

“ _ Please,  _ fuck me.”

Iwaizumi squeezed Hinata’s cheeks in his hand before leaning down and pressing a wet kiss on his lips, “Good boy.”

Iwaizumi used more lube on his hand as he stroked himself before lining up with Hinata and pushing in all in one fell swoop. Hinata’s body tensed entirely and his hands flew up and he dug his nails into Iwaizumi’s shoulders.

“Shit,” Hinata said. “Careful.”

“You know the safe word and signals. If it gets to be too much, tell me,” Iwaizumi said, moving him by the legs, and kissing him gently on the cheek, “Other than that, shut the fuck up.”

Hinata allowed his hands to fall above his head and Iwaizumi seized the opportunity to pin them to the bed. He pressed his face into Hinata’s neck as he pounded into him, melting and setting aflame at every single sound that entered his ears. He pulled back and hoisted his fiance’s legs over his shoulders, going forth with new passion.

Hinata went to touch himself, but Iwaizumi slapped his hand away harshly.

“I didn’t tell you to do that.”

Hinata went to whine, but the sound quickly turned into a choked growl as Iwaizumi adjusted his hips just  _ perfectly.  _ He reached out and grabbed Iwaizumi anywhere he could to drag his nails into his skin as retribution. Each time his nails left raised, scathing red marks across his skin, Iwaizumi let out a new groan.

He reached out and pumped Hinata’s cock for a bit as he pounded into him. When he felt his legs flex against his shoulders, he stopped moving entirely.

“I didn’t say you could finish yet.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Iwaizumi leaned in closer, holding very tightly onto his calves, folding him in on himself.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata repeated louder, voice muffled into Iwaizumi’s shoulder and strained by his own weight on himself.

“You’re sorry what?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Hinata yelped and moaned as Iwaizumi began moving again.

“I’ll make you sorry.”

He got more on top of Hinata as he went harder than previously. He crashed their lips together, helping himself to his tongue and teeth, shivering at the vibrations of his moans. After a moment of fully enjoying the beautiful noises rolling off of Hinata’s lips, and avoiding his hitting hands, he flipped him over. He realigned against him and pushed in harshly, appreciating but not acknowledging his sharp gasp and protests. He used one hand to hold him still by his hip and used the other to shove his face into the mattress. His groans mixed in with Hinata’s as the new position offered him a new world.

He grabbed a handful of orange locks and dragged Hinata up, leaning over his back.

“I love you so fucking much, you dumb slut.”

He looked into Hinata’s red and saliva slick face. His gut twisted at the sight of his swollen lips and hooded eyes. He looked at him with such  _ lust  _ that Iwaizumi just about lost it then and there.

He dropped his grip on his hair, allowing Hinata to fall back into the mattress, and pushed himself back into an upright position using the hand on his hip. He slapped his fiance’s ass, using all of his force, reliving his days as the ace. When that elicited a throaty moan from the ginger, he did it a few more times before Hinata threw his hand up and formed an L with his thumb and index finger.

Iwaizumi moved forward, and pulled Hinata back by his chest, and fell back onto the mattress. Hinata wasted no time in riding him. Iwaizumi pushed on his back so he’d lean forward, giving him a better view of his dick disappearing into his love’s fine ass. Iwaizumi ran his hands along his ass, hips and back as he rode, throwing his head back when the visuals overwhelmed him.

“Touch yourself.”

Hinata eagerly followed his direction, falling forward onto one hand while using the other to pleasure himself further. Iwaizumi grabbed him by the hips and held him in place a few inches from the base of his dick and used everything in him to pound rapidfire into Hinata as he approached orgasm.

“Cum, whore,” Iwaizumi demanded.

Hinata looked back at him, face desperate as he fell apart. He looked close, but Iwaizumi knew he needed a final shove.

“I love you,” he said as he ran his hand over Hinata’s skin. “You make me feel so good. You’re fucking beautiful.”

Hinata looked away again, thighs shaking. Iwaizumi reached around and slapped his hand away, replacing it with his own. Hinata flipped the script and leaned back on his hands rather than forward as he nearly shouted.

“Cum for me,” Iwaizumi said lowly.

“Yes,” Hinata gasped.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you… So much,” Hinata panted.

“How much do you love me?”

“I-“ Hinata fisted at the sheets, his sentence taken over by moans as Iwaizumi went harder.

“Not more than I love you,” Iwaizumi breathed, “I love you so much, my beautiful little slut.”

Hinata was hardly human at that point, completely devolved into an animal in heat as he rushed to meet Iwaizumi’s movements.

“You’re fucking perfect,” Iwaizumi worked magic over his cock. “I’m so excited to fuck your tight ass for the rest of our lives. I lov—“

“Ugh!” Hinata shouted, then groaned and moaned as he shook in Iwaizumi’s hands. He spilled over onto his own stomach and his fiance’s hand. Iwaizumi groaned lowly at the sensation against his own cock and shoved Hinata over, getting him from behind again. He held his hand to Hinata’s mouth, who refused to eat his own fluids at first, but reluctantly agreed. Iwaizumi watched him through hooded eyes and rubbed his ass, asking for permission.

“Yellow,” Hinata said.

Iwaizumi slapped his ass, only much lighter than he had before. But it was enough for him. He pounded into him, hands on his hips, watching himself slip in and out of the only person he ever wanted to be with. 

“ _ Shit _ ,” he moaned loudly.

He pulled out and jerked himself off against the soft skin of Hinata’s ass before releasing on him. He crashed to the side and pulled Hinata into his chest, showering his hair and face with small kisses.

* * *

* * *

“I’m glad you’re home,” he whispered against his temple.

“Me too,” Hinata whispered back, running his hand along Iwaizumi’s arm against his chest.

“You don’t belong anywhere else,” Iwaizumi nuzzled his nose behind his ear. “These arms are your only rightful home.”

Hinata closed his eyes and smiled. They still had a lot to talk about, but it was nearing five in the morning and they had to work. He squeezed Iwaizumi’s arm and sank fully into his embrace. Iwaizumi nuzzled at him and suckled at his neck, breathing hotly against his skin. He wanted to leave as many marks against his fair skin as possible. He wanted everyone to know just who belonged to him.

“I love you,” Hinata said. “I’m sorry for how I acted. I—“

Iwaizumi shushed him gently, “I appreciate it, baby, but we can talk about it tomorrow. Right now we should get as much sleep as we can.”

“What happened to “ _ I don’t know why you’d want to sleep in this mess, but I don’t”?”  _ Hinata snorted.

“Not to sound gay, but after the day I had, I’d wear your cum to church.”

“I don’t know where to start with that…” Hinata laughed.

“Just accept it,” Iwaizumi adjusted their position to a more comfortable one. “I love you, babe. Goodnight, love.”

“So many pet names,” Hinata cooed. “You must  _ really  _ be happy. I love you, too.”

Iwaizumi hummed and kissed him once again on the head before committing to sleep.

They woke up late the next morning, not getting the regular six thirty in the morning invite to go jogging from Ushijima. Iwaizumi realized with a blush that the giant probably heard them getting down the previous night. Just the payment of staying with them rent free for an entire month. They rushed through a shared shower, thankful they prepped their lunches a week in advance as they shoved them into bags and ran out the door. Hinata drove, as Iwaizumi couldn’t speed  _ that  _ much without feeling like a terrible person, but Hinata had no such issue. When they got to work, they ran into the gym with two minutes to spare. Hinata thrust his lunch into Iwaizumi’s hands and rushed to change.

‘ _ Thank god it’s wednesday,’  _ Iwaizumi thought as he caught his breath. ‘ _ No one will yell at me for cutting it so close.’ _

He opened his bag on the bench and pulled out the files he kept on all the players. He reviewed the new information in them as he thought about what they’d be doing that day. He always had a vague outline, but liked to keep it fresh week by week. Normally, he’d choose the day before like a prepared professional, but found he was too caught up in existential dread to do it. Most of the players were already prepared and on the court socializing as they awaited instruction. Iwaizumi moved out to wait for Hinata with the rest of them. He couldn’t help but feel like the men were staring at him strangely.

He  _ knew  _ something was up when Hinata emerged and the men started whistling at him.

‘ _ What the hell?’  _ He thought.

Hinata began posing dramatically, specifically calling attention to each of his new dark spots, bite marks and bruises as he approached.

“This look is called ‘ _ sleeping in and forgetting to put makeup over them’,”  _ Hinata said, trying to cover his embarrassment.

Iwaizumi’s face flushed a bright red and he turned his back to the group as they individually slapped him on the back, each contact searing pain through the raised marks Hinata scratched into him. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I take it you guys made up then,” Cole muttered, turning away from them.

“I  _ wonder  _ who the bottom could be,” Ryan laughed as he pulled Hinata into his side. “Just  _ look  _ at those bruises on your calves. What are you, Iwa? A wild animal? Show some restraint.”

“Okay, okay,” Iwaizumi dismissed. “Very good, I get ass. Can we train now? As in for the  _ Olympics _ ? Which are coming up very soon? And you’re all just soft at the core, sniveling little babies that Oikawa and Kageyama will use to mop the  _ fucking  _ floors?”

“I’ll think about it!” Ryan laughed.

Iwaizumi stared him down with crossed arms until he sunk in on himself.

“Hey, so, I thought it over and I’ve decided we can go ahead and train now.”

“Great!” Iwaizumi shouted. “Good news, everyone! Ryan said we can go ahead with our day, now! Let’s go!”

Hinata laughed at Ryan as he blushed as they began their stretches, then Ryan laughed at Hinata when he winced any time he really had to move.

“I hate you,” Hinata laughed.

“I love you, too, Shō,” Ryan laughed back.

Iwaizumi walked around the men as they stretched, correcting their forms as he went. When he passed by Hinata, he looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. When he knew it was safe, he pinched his thigh just under his ass, laughing at the jump he caused. Hinata whipped his head back, then melted at the sultry and happy look Iwaizumi wore. He went back to his stretches, fully aware he’d make any sacrifice to keep him in his life.


	9. Tom & Jerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic language and mentions of mental, emotional and physical abuse.

Iwaizumi sat at his dining room table, staring down at stat sheets. Not for players, but for his coworkers. He was waiting for Leilani to show up so they could finalize their plans for the Japanese Ceremony, but realized that he neglected to pick another trainer to accompany him to the Olympics.

He didn’t know most of his coworkers that well as he was almost always out of the office. The people he  _ did  _ know, he didn’t like. Okay, not necessarily  _ dislike  _ but they weren’t people he wanted to travel with. He tapped his foot loudly under the table and stared down at his coworkers sheets. There had to be  _ someone.  _ He was getting ready to just choose at random. 

The house was lethally quiet since Hinata went into the city with Cole and Toby for the day. The silence was overwhelming him, consuming him from the feet up. It didn’t seem like an important decision, but he was incredibly selective about who he spent time around. Besides, Ryan would already be on him like a barnacle on their trip to Tokyo, so the annoying quota was already filled. He couldn’t accidentally choose someone bad lest he need to murder them. 

Iwaizumi let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when the door opened and Leilani shouted a greeting.

“Dining room!”

He watched her walk in. She wore a genuine smile and held her trademark thick white binder. She held it up to him then sat heavily in the chair next to him.

“Hey, Iwa!”

“Hey, gorgeous. What’s on the agenda today?”

She looked down at the papers in front of him and basked in his focused and frustrated energy before setting the binder aside and thumbing through his papers instead.

“What kind of project does Takashi have  _ you  _ doing?”

“Oh,” he perked up. “Hey, Leilani, we work together, right?”

She eyed him weirdly before speaking slowly, “Uh, yeah. I’d say that’s factual?”

“Who should I bring to Tokyo with me? Takashi wants me to bring another trainer ‘ _ just in case’  _ and I don’t like anyone we work with.”

She laughed loudly as she flipped through the pages, “Yeah, these people wouldn’t be too fun to travel with. But I have to say, I’m offended.”

He furrowed his brow at her, “What? Why?”

“I thought we were friends!”

He stared at her for a moment before slapping his own forehead, “Ah, sorry. I assumed you would’ve said no because you don’t like working with men.”

“Yeah, but I’m friends with a lot of the team! Please, can I go? I can help put Ryan in his place!”

“Yeah, actually. That would solve a lot of my issues.”

They shared a smile before she straightened the stack of papers and put them back in their folder, “Won’t be needing these, will we? Let’s talk wedding!”

Iwaizumi took in her happy energy, just feeling great to exist in it. He missed her during Hinata’s withdrawal period. He barely saw her, unless he passed by her at the offices, which was rare.

Some time into talking, they moved onto their loose plans for the real ceremony they’d have in America with a legal licence. They made their way through several cups of tea for Iwaizumi and lemonade for Leilani. She seemed to realize the silence as they checked their phones and looked around.

“Where is everyone?”

“Oh, Shō is out with Cole and Toby and Ushijima…” He bit his cheek, “He’s at dinner with Charlotte.”

“Oh, she finally got here?” He could see through her smile.

“Yeah.”

“That’s fun! I hope they’re happy.”

He looked down at his phone, heart hurting for her. It wasn’t as though the two were close by any means, but he never knew her for actively wanting to pursue a man romantically. It sucked watching her have to watch him meet and grow close to his fiancée. He thought it would’ve been like if Hinata decided he was going to marry Kageyama before they ever got the chance to be together and he had to see that.

Just as he was about to turn his screen off, he received a text from Hinata. He smiled widely and opened the notification.

**_Beautiful Honey Baby❤️👑:_ ** _ yo iwa _

**_Beautiful Honey Baby❤️👑:_ ** _ im gonna bring the boys over is that ok _

**_Sir Hajime of the Southern Isle⚔️👑:_ ** _ Yeah, that’s okay. I’m excited to see you. Love you. _

**_Beautiful Honey Baby❤️👑:_ ** _ LOVE YOUUU _

**_Beautiful Honey Baby❤️👑: 💕💕💕💕💕😘😘_ **

**_Sir Hajime of the Southern Isle⚔️👑: ❤️_ **

He smiled warmly down at his phone, loving how his fiance was finally back to being himself. They were still yet to have their difficult conversation, as their schedules just didn’t allow it and— okay, maybe there was a  _ bit  _ of intentional evasion. Looking Ushijima in the eye after his rather humiliating meltdown was hard enough, he wasn’t ready to talk about it to Hinata, especially when he could still be shut down.

“Looks like we’re having guests,” he smiled up at Leilani.

She was hunched over the table, her face resting on her palms, which were propped up by her elbows against the binder. She stared down at the pages, and her eyes were glossed over as if in deep thought.

“What’s up?” Iwaizumi poked her shoulder to get her attention.

She startled and looked up at him, immediately plastering a smile on her face as she shook her head, “No, it’s nothing. I’m sorry.”

Iwaizumi sighed, “I think it’s time we talk about this.”

“Talk about… what?”

“You don’t have to pretend to be happy all the time. You told me we’re  _ ohana  _ so you can talk to me. I know you’re upset about Ushijima.”

She sighed and the smile finally fell away from her lips, “I might be. But I shouldn’t be, you know? He was engaged before I met him, so really it’s my own fault for allowing my feelings to grow. I mean, I don't even  _ know  _ him.”

“I guess so,” Iwaizumi immediately regretted pushing her into the conversation. What was he supposed to say? She was right.

“He might be blunt to a fault, but at least he’s  _ real,”  _ she frowned. “I don’t know. I just hope he doesn’t regret this marriage. He deserves to be happy.”

Their heads snapped in the direction of the door as it opened. It was much too quiet to be Hinata, leaving only one option.

“Speak of the devil,” Iwaizumi muttered.

Ushijima walked into the dining room, faltering just a hair when he noticed Leilani, and carried a small takeaway container. He held it to Iwaizumi. 

“I love don’t want it. It’s cake. It’s too sweet. I want you to take it instead.”

“Um, right,” Iwaizumi took it from him and put it on the table. “Why would you take it if you knew you didn’t want it?”

Ushijima turned minutely away from Leilani, “She made me.”

“She  _ made  _ you?” Iwaizumi repeated loudly.

“Yes,” Ushijima said. “I must appease her.”

Their conversation was cut short by the door slamming open and the loud sound of rapid conversation and laughter floated up to them. Hinata entered the room and kissed Iwaizumi on the top of the head before putting another takeaway container in front of him.

“I brought you cake.”

Iwaizumi stared bewilderedly at the containers of cake in front of him, “ _ Why?” _

“What do you mean?” Hinata frowned. 

“You don’t even like cake,” Iwaizumi looked at him.

“I didn’t order it. The waitress brought it to me so I thought I’d just bring it to you.”

“Why’d the waitress just bring you cake?”

Hinata looked away with a blush and folded his arms as the other two men walked in the room laughing.

“Hinata pulls bitches!” Toby yelled, laughing. 

Hinata blushed harder, only arousing more laughs from his friends.

“What?” Iwaizumi asked dumbly. “She was coming onto you?”

“Yeah!” Cole laughed. “She put the cake down and slipped him her number and he  _ looked at it _ then asked her for a takeaway container so he could bring it to his fiance. God, her  _ face!” _

Iwaizumi laughed and hugged Hinata from his sitting position, “Thank you.”

Hinata ran his hands through Iwaizumi’s hair, wilting his spikes, and looked around the room.

“You’re welcome! Hey, Leilani! We looking at the wedding?” He leaned in closer, “Oh, are we  _ finally  _ moving on to the real one?”

“Yes, sir,” she smiled. “It wouldn’t hurt you to be here sometimes, too, you know.”

His face flushed and he laughed, “You’re right. Im sorry.”

“Hi, Leilani,” Cole smiled.

“Hey, Cole,” she smiled back.

Toby and Hinata shared a look, probably the only two there that fully understood the awkward subtext of the conversation.

“Good news!” Iwaizumi perked up, drawing the attention of everyone. “Leilani will be joining us as the secondary athletic trainer for the Olympics!”

The boys all clapped and whooped.

“That’s  _ so  _ exciting!” Hinata hugged her. “We’re gonna have so much fun!”

“Yeah, especially when you guys win the gold!” She laughed.

“Guess that makes her your boss now, huh?” Toby nudged Cole who swatted him away.

Hinata all but skipped to the chair beside Leilani and sat heavily, “I’m so excited! Then, you’ll be there for the wedding, too! We’re gonna show you guys everything that matters to us around Miyagi! I’ll show you Karasuno, then we should go check out Seijoh’s new team, oh my  _ god—“ _

_ “ _ Breathe,” Iwaizumi reminded him. Hinata took a deep breath, but the large smile never fell off of his face. He practically bounced in his seat as he thought about home, and Iwaizumi decided he couldn’t love him more.

“Have you told your parents yet?” Leilani hesitantly turned to Iwaizumi. 

He took a deep breath, “Yes.”

“Really?” Hinata nearly jumped. “What’d they say?”

“It was only yesterday. But I spoke to my mother, and she said, and I quote, ‘ _ I don’t give a fuck about who you marry. Why didn’t you tell me you live in America? How much money do you make?’.” _

“Oh, wow,” Hinata frowned.

“I told her we’d be having two ceremonies and she told me that’s too expensive and we should just have our American wedding in Japan. So, I said that it would offend your— Hinata’s— family to not have a Shinto wedding, and she laughed. She said, ‘born Shinto, marry Christian, die Buddhist.” I don’t really know what to make of that, but then she said she had to go. So, that’s it.”

The room squinted back to him, except Ushijima who remained unbothered, and Hinata cleared his throat.

“So, are… Are they coming?”

“Couldn’t tell you.”

“Call her now and ask,” Leilani patted his hand.

He sighed, wanting to protest, but knew it was a losing battle. He got his phone and dialed his mother, putting it on speaker. It picked up on the last ring.

«It’s seven in the morning, stupid, what do you want?»

«Hey, mom, you’re on with me, my fiance and my friends.»

«Oh,» she cleared her voice. «Tōru?»

«No, he lives in Brazil now.»

«Oh. What do you need, baby?»

«Are you and dad coming to my wedding?»

«What? Of course we are. When is it?»

«August 16th,” he said flatly. “I told you that yesterday.»

«I know, I know. I just forgot.»

«Yeah,» Iwaizumi picked up his pen and flicked it against the table.

«Have you asked your siblings?»

«I don’t have their contact information.»

«Why?»

«Because… they don’t talk to me?»

«Oh.»

«Yeah.»

«Is  _ he  _ there?»

«Shōyō? Yes,» Iwaizumi gestured at Hinata, encouraging him to speak.

«Hello,» Hinata said awkwardly.

«Are you taking care of my boy? I know he struggles on his own.»

Hinata frowned deeply and his eyes ran over Iwaizumi’s shamed face before fixing back on the phone.

«No.»

«What?» Her voice suddenly became harsh.

«No, he takes care of me. He is a very strong and capable man. He doesn’t  _ need _ me, he  _ chooses  _ me, and I’m thankful for that every day.»

Iwaizumi smiled and took his hand, which Hinata clung to possessively.

His mother hummed, «I will see you on August fourteenth.»

«Sixteenth, mom,» Iwaizumi sighed. 

«Whatever.»

She hung up without saying goodbye and Iwaizumi rubbed his face with his free hand, “That was exhausting.”

“Is there a way we can  _ un _ invite them?” Hinata asked.

“Was it that bad?” Leilani frowned.

“It wasn’t  _ great,”  _ Hinata said.

“That isn’t even the half of it,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“I didn’t even know you had siblings…” Hinata said.

“Yeah, I don’t really. I was nine by the time the last of them escaped and I haven’t really spoken to them since then. I saw them every few years, but,” Iwaizumi shrugged. It was basically all out there, now. But they were his real family and he didn’t want to hide from them anymore. There wasn’t a point.

Ushijima made eye contact with Iwaizumi, “I need a favor.”

“Uh, sure, what?”

“I need to prepare a romantic evening with my fiancée tomorrow, which will require a few things. Firstly, I need you to accompany me on a shopping trip to purchase an outfit for her. Then, I need you two to vacate the premises from 4PM until the date ends which will be at 9PM sharp. Can you do that?”

“You’re kicking us out of our own house?” Hinata scoffed.

“If it isn’t too much trouble.”

“Fine,” Iwaizumi shrugged. “I’ll just take Hinata out. But I’d rather die than go shopping. I wouldn’t be much help, anyways.”

Ushijima looked at Leilani, “Would you accompany me shopping? A woman’s touch may be just what I need.”

She looked up at him and forced a smile on her face, “Of course. I’d be happy to.”

“Thank you. We will leave at nine in the morning.”

“Okay,” she watched him walk away.

The second they heard his bedroom door shut she threw her head down on the table and groaned loudly. Iwaizumi patted her head while Toby and Cole shared a look.

“What?” Toby asked.

“Ushijima just doesn’t understand sensitivity,” Iwaizumi said. “He doesn’t mean to be an asshole.”

“He  _ isn’t,  _ though,” she whined. “He’s doing something really sweet for his fiancée.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Iwaizumi frowned.

“Do you guys want to come over when you’re evicted from your house?” She looked between them, “I have alcohol.”

Hinata smirked at her, “I think yes.”

“After dinner?” Iwaizumi asked him.

“After dinner,” Hinata agreed.

“Sweet, what about you guys?”

“We’re invited?” Toby asked, pointing at his own chest.

“Of course!”

“We’ll definitely be there,” Cole said, slapping Toby’s hand.

“Do me a favor and don’t tell Ryan, though. I don’t feel like being hit on.”

The four of them looked between each other and agreed.

Iwaizumi and Hinata got to Leilani’s house and parked behind Cole’s car. Hinata took his hand and leaned across the console to kiss him tenderly.

“That was a beautiful night, thank you.”

“The pleasure was all mine, cutie,” Iwaizumi stole another kiss before allowing him to pull away. “I don't know about you but I’m excited as hell to hear about how shopping went.”

“Honestly, same. I bet it was a disaster.”

“I’d love to bet against you, but I can’t. It probably was.”

They laughed as they undid their seatbelts and walked to the back door. They didn’t bother knocking and let themselves in, finding the rest of the group in the living room. Their friends greeted them warmly.

“Let’s skip the bullshit,” Iwaizumi said, sitting heavily beside Toby on the couch. “ _ How  _ was Ushijima while shopping?”

Leilani’s face flushed and her face split into a genuine smile, “It was really fun, actually.”

Hinata threw his hands up and sat back, looking around at everyone, “I’m sorry,  _ what?  _ I think my English might be bad because I thought  _ fun  _ was a good word.”

Leilani snorted and reached over to smack him,  _ “Shut up,  _ idiot. I meant it as a good thing. We shopped then we had lunch, which was really nice. Then we went back to shopping because we didn’t find anything the first time, and while I was at this one dress rack this man came up to me, right?”

“Okay?” Hinata said skeptically.

“And he was a complete asshole, the first thing out of his mouth was, ‘ _ Hey, Moana, how you doin’?’.  _ And I was about to tell him off, but then he just apologized and walked off.”

“What? That’s weird,” Toby said.

“It was because Wakatoshi came and just  _ stood  _ beside me. That’s all it took!”

“Wow,” Iwaizumi said. “I guess he  _ is _ threatening.”

“At first glance. He’s so sweet.”

_ “Sweet?”  _ Hinata’s voice went up a few octaves. “Ushijima?”

“Yeah! He insisted on paying for lunch since I went with him. He also insisted on giving me gas money since he can’t drive here. And he just asked about my work and how I like it here and all about my culture. It was really nice.”

“You know you can’t date him, right?” Cole said. “You were literally shopping for his fiancée.”

“I  _ know,”  _ she rolled her eyes at him. “But call me crazy, I think he likes me, too.”

“You’re crazy,” Cole said, eliciting a huff from Leilani.

“No, I agree,” Iwaizumi said.

“You do?” She perked up.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but…” Hinata sighed. “I talked to him the night of your birthday. He definitely feels the same way.”

She snapped her head to Hinata, before fully turning to him, “What? What’d he say?”

Hinata sat back and slung his arm behind Toby on the couch, “Get me a drink and I’ll tell you.”

She slapped her hands on the coffee table, “Right! Sorry, I forgot to offer you guys one!”

“Don’t worry,” Iwaizumi called after her. “We didn’t really give you a chance.”

She returned with two screwdrivers and placed them on the table in front of Hinata and Iwaizumi before sitting on the floor in front of them.

“Ready,” she said.

Hinata nodded as he took a sip of his drink, “Basically, he said you’re a very genuine person and he’s never felt so strongly for a woman so quickly.”

She covered her mouth with her hands and squealed quietly.

_ “But,”  _ Hinata said. “He also mentioned how he’s engaged. I gave him some advice—“

“What advice?” She interrupted.

“That sometimes love doesn’t care about your plans,” he stared into his drink, feeling Iwaizumi’s heavy gaze on him. “And that sometimes you have to take a risk to be truly happy.”

“What’d he say?” Leilani asked.

“Nothing. That was the end of the conversation.”

She frowned as she leaned on the coffee table, “Well, that doesn’t tell me much.”

“I think it told you a lot,” Toby said.

“I think it doesn’t matter,” Cole said. “The fact still remains that he’s engaged.”

“But he doesn’t love her,” she countered.

“You don’t know that,” Cole pushed. “Maybe he met her and they had an instant connection. Unless there’s something you know that we don’t.”

“I don’t know,” Hinata said slowly. “I think you should go for it. That’s just my opinion, though.”

“What?” Iwaizumi frowned at him. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Hinata shrugged. “Maybe this whole arranged marriage thing isn’t what he wants and all he needs to know for sure is how Leilani feels. At least if he says no, she’d know for sure.”

“No, it’d be wrong for her to interfere with his life like that. Obviously he’s doing what he thinks is right, because as we’ve all neglected to mention, he is wining and dining her right now as we speak,” Cole said.

“Who is she to deny her feelings, though?” Toby asked.

“You can have your feelings without acting on them,” Iwaizumi said knowingly, getting raised eyebrows from Hinata.

“How about we stop talking about Leilani like she isn’t here,” she suggested. “If we absolutely think I shouldn’t say anything, then I won’t. But I feel like I should say, I have not felt this way since I was sixteen years old. I think it’s pretty special, so maybe that’s why I’m so biased.”

“How old are you?” Toby asked.

“Dude, you don’t just  _ ask  _ that!” Cole scolded hushedly. 

“What?” Toby whispered back. “It’s  _ relevant.” _

“It’s fine,” she mumbled. “I’m twenty three.”

“That’s seven years,” Toby said. “That’s pretty significant.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter,” Cole insisted. “He’s engaged and it’s  _ wrong.” _

“Okay, fi—“

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi said. They all turned to him. “I spent a long time not believing in people, too. So, when I met someone who made me believe…” He looked at Hinata, “I took the chance and never looked back.”

“Aw, Iwa…” Hinata smiled softly. “I love you, too.”

Iwaizumi smiled at him and stretched his fist out and Hinata stretched his back for an air fist bump.

“So, you think I should say something?”

His face turned serious again, “Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely don’t want to be responsible if it doesn’t go well. I feel like if he were to act on how he feels, he would’ve already done it.”

“Even if he wasn’t sure about how I feel?” She frowned back. Iwaizumi nodded and she groaned.

“Okay.”

“So, you’re going to leave him alone?” Cole asked.

“I’m going to think about it.”

They all sat in silence for a long moment. Hinata looked around at everyone as they frowned before sitting forward.

“ _ I  _ saw a raccoon yesterday!”

Everyone looked at him, frowns growing deeper.

“I’ve never seen one before…” He muttered and sat back. “It was pretty cool.”

“Yeah? It sounds pretty cool,” Iwaizumi said.

“I wanted to bring him home, but—“

“ _ No. Don’t ever do that,”  _ Iwaizumi sounded alarmed.

“—But I knew you’d say no. Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Iwaizumi tapped his foot and took a sip of his drink, absolutely drowning in the heavy atmosphere of the room. He commended Hinata for his pathetic attempt to break the tension, but the only way out was through.

“He leaves tomorrow, Leilani. It’s pretty much now or never.”

She put her face back on the table and groaned again. Iwaizumi stared at her with wide eyes and Hinata slapped his forehead. Iwaizumi turned his attention to Hinata and pressed his lips together.

“Hey, Leilani, I think I’m ready to let you put makeup on me,” Hinata grimaced.

She perked up and smiled at him, “Actually?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Hinata forced a smile.

“I  _ knew  _ you’d say yes eventually!”

She got up to get her makeup and the second she was out of eyeshot, Hinata’s head was in his hands.

“Why’d you offer if you don’t wanna do it?” Toby whispered.

“Because I knew it’d make her happy,” Hinata groaned lightly.

«I love you,» Iwaizumi said.

«I love you, too,» Hinata said.

Leilani returned with her makeup and stationed herself in front of Hinata. He lowered himself onto the floor beside her and closed his eyes, emotionally preparing himself. Iwaizumi got up to make himself a new drink.

Toby, Iwaizumi and Cole all talked about the Olympics while Leilani showed Hinata a whole new world of pain. He was a great sport about it, though, asking her any questions he had about the process. When she was done, she presented his new face with jazz hands.

“Ta da!! Tell him he’s beautiful!”

The three men looked at Hinata and his lipstick, eyeliner and sparkly eye shadow. Leilani admittedly did a  _ great  _ job.

“Wow, Hinata, you make a pretty lady!” Toby teased.

“Don’t be toxic,” Cole said. “Men can wear makeup, too.”

“Eh,” Toby shrugged.

“You look…” Iwaizumi cocked his head, trying to decide how he felt about it. “You look actually really good.”

“You can’t tell because of the make up, but I’m blushing,” Hinata said, but he smiled.

Leilani laughed and sat behind Hinata on the couch and started braiding any amount of his hair she could manage. The conversation  _ finally  _ moved on like normal, with the two of them adding to the Olympic dialogue. Iwaizumi checked his phone after a while.

“Hey, it’s eleven thirty, we should probably get home,” Iwaizumi said, hitting Hinata on the shoulder.

“Right,” Hinata said, stretching as he stood. “Thank you for having us, Leilani!”

“No problem, thank you both for your advice!”

“Sorry it wasn’t much help,” Hinata frowned. “But I hope you figure out what you need to do.”

“Me too,” she laughed lightly. “Bye guys!”

“Bye!” They called.

Once they were out of the house, Hinata grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand until they got to the car. Iwaizumi opened Hinata’s door for him, then got in on the drivers side. They didn’t say anything for a while.

When they were nearly home and Iwaizumi had stayed relentlessly silent, Hinata finally decided to comment.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

“What?” Iwaizumi glanced at him.

“You’re being so quiet and you look tense.”

“Oh, um.”

“Did I do something?”

“It’s just…” Iwaizumi sighed. “Promise you won’t judge me?”

“You know I’d never.”

Iwaizumi glanced back, “Okay.  _ Basically,  _ if I look at you for too long right now I’ll be forced to pull over and fuck you.”

_ “What?”  _ Hinata laughed loudly. “Why? Is it the make up?”

“It might be,” Iwaizumi strained. “You look really good.”

“You’re so cute,” Hinata laughed.

“I told you not to make fun of me,” Iwaizumi groaned.

“How was that making fun of you?” Hinata laughed harder. “I called you  _ cute,  _ that’s a compliment.”

“I’m a  _ man,  _ I’m not  _ cute.” _

“What if I told you that you can be both?”

“Impossible!” Iwaizumi shouted sarcastically.  _ “You’re  _ the cute one. I'm the stoic, mysterious, hot one.”

“Oh,  _ really?”  _ Hinata held his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Who decided that?”

Iwaizumi bit his laughter down and shrugged, keeping a straight face, “The universe? God? I don’t make the rules, babe.”

“I love you  _ so  _ much,” Hinata took his hand.

“ _ I  _ love you so much  _ more,”  _ Iwaizumi squeezed his hand. “I’ll show you just how much when we get home.”

“Yeah? Will you?” Hinata ran his thumb over his hand.

“Promise.”

“Okay, Stupidjima is probably in bed by now anyways, so I don’t see why not.”

“He’s leaving tomorrow, it isn’t for much longer. Besides, I can’t say I really care  _ what  _ he’s up to. It doesn’t affect  _ my  _ plans to ravage you.”

_ “Ravage me?”  _ Hinata’s laugh was very high pitched. “I’d love to see you try.”

“I’d choose your words wisely,” Iwaizumi warned. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

Hinata’s hand moved from his and found its way to his thigh, “I know you can’t get too rough with me. We have practice tomorrow.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” a shiver went down Iwaizumi’s spine as Hinata’s hand moved up. “I’ll ruin you and still work you as hard as everyone else tomorrow. Don’t tempt me.”

“You’re evil,” Hinata smirked at Iwaizumi’s strained tone. 

“Fuck,” Iwaizumi whispered as Hinata undid his pants. “You sure? This is unlike you.”

“I’m sure,” Hinata assured, leaning forward.

Iwaizumi sat back and gripped the steering wheel tightly while using his other hand to grab Hinata’s hair, which was hard due to all the braids. He groaned softly when he felt Hinata’s mouth around him, loving the feeling of the action’s wrongness.

The first thing Iwaizumi did when he pulled into the driveway was kiss Hinata passionately, savoring the taste of himself on his tongue. He pulled away and stared into his warm eyes and ran his hand over his neck.

“I love you. You’re perfect.”

“There’s no such thing as perfect, but if there is, it’s gotta be you.”

Iwaizumi snorted lightly against Hinata’s mouth then flicked him on the arm, “Nerd.”

“I would love to live in a world where I’m considered the nerd between the two of us,” Hinata teased.

“Whatever, man, I don’t need to take that from a  _ nerd,”  _ Iwaizumi laughed as they got out of the car.

Hinata unlocked the door, teasing Iwaizumi for being an unfortunately irrevocable loser nerd. They walked inside and were nearly immediately confronted by the sight of  _ Wakatoshi Ushijima  _ on a  _ date.  _

“Oh,” Hinata stopped dead in his tracks before hastily bowing. “I’m sorry, I thought you said nine.”

“This is our fault for not staying true to our word,” Ushijima bowed back. “I apologize.”

They all stared at each other for a moment, save for Charlotte who refused to meet their eye.

“Don’t worry,” Iwaizumi dismissed, moving to the kitchen. “Hinata, come eat something. You can’t make all your calories up with lemonade.”

Hinata groaned and followed him into the next room, “Fine, but  _ please  _ don’t make me eat another protein bar.”

“I can make you a shake instead,” Iwaizumi said with his hand on the cupboard handle.

Hinata groaned again, “ _ Fine _ , I’ll just eat a bar.”

Iwaizumi laughed and threw him one from the cupboard, “It’s like you hate being in shape.”

“No, I’m just sick of these little assholes,” Hinata said as he unwrapped it.

“Get a different kind next time, then.”

“Yeah,” Hinata said around a mouthful of protein bar, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I tend to be.”

“Shuddup,” Hinata shoved him playfully by the shoulder, but Iwaizumi caught his hand and pulled him into his chest.

“I love you.”

“You too, Iwa,” Hinata smiled brightly, then whispered, “Why is she still here? And why didn’t she say hello?”

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi frowned. “Let’s go introduce ourselves.”

“Okay but I’m washing my face first, because  _ that  _ was embarrassing.”

Iwaizumi laughed and followed Hinata to the bathroom where he scrubbed at his face for a good ten minutes, complaining about how the stuff was invincible. They walked back to the living room when he was through, where Ushijima and Charlotte engaged in quiet conversation, each with a glass of wine. When she noticed them, she stopped talking and looked away.

“Good to meet you, Ms. Beauford. I’m Hajime Iwaizumi and this is Shōyō Hinata,” Iwaizumi gestured between them before offering a handshake.

She looked at his hand before pointedly not shaking it, “Hello. Thank you for allowing us to use your home, it’s… lovely.”

Hinata gave Iwaizumi a look as he retracted his hand. Iwaizumi hummed and pursed his lips.

“Right,” Hinata said, irritated at her for slighting his fiance, “So, how long can we expect you to be in our  _ lovely  _ home tonight?”

Iwaizumi pressed his lips tighter together and turned his face away, always delighted to see petty Hinata. She squinted at him.

“I’m waiting for my car right now.”

“Great, that’s  _ lovely,” _ Hinata said, turning away. “Please, let us give you your privacy.”

Iwaizumi put his hand on Hinata’s lower back as they began walking away and really felt how tense his body was. He really felt social interactions, didn’t he?

“You know,” she said. They turned back to look at her as she swirled her wine around in her glass. “If you don’t purge yourself of your,” she looked at where Iwaizumi touched Hinata,  _ “habits _ , and fully commit yourself to the hands of God and seek forgiveness, you’ll burn for eternity in hell.”

They both stared on, shell shocked. Hinata’s jaw dropped, while Iwaizumi’s clenched. Who says that while in someone else’s home? Iwaizumi briefly looked at Ushijima, wanting him to say something, then decided he didn’t care.

“You  _ know,”  _ Iwaizumi said, gripping the back of Hinata’s shirt to calm himself a little bit. “Any God who doesn’t accept all the ‘children’  _ he  _ made  _ himself _ is not one worth believing in. And you  _ know,  _ you’re—“

Hinata gripped his arm, pulling him somewhat out of the anger that consumed his chest and swirled around his head.

“Iwa,” he said softly. “It’s not worth reacting to. If you don’t believe in an afterlife then her insult doesn’t matter, okay?”

“But she  _ does,”  _ Iwaizumi scoffed, nearly yelling. “And she—“

“Iwa, baby,” Hinata nearly whispered. “Come on, now. Okay? Please?”

Iwaizumi sighed, melting under his tone despite the raging fire within him. He nodded and began walking away again, when he heard her say something to Ushijima.

“What? What’d you say?” He turned back again, much to Hinata’s exasperation.

She smirked at him, “What I said was that you’re incredibly aggressive. You’re probably gay because women won’t be with you. You probably have a history of beating the women you’ve been with.”

The anger swelled so largely within him that he could no longer process it. He couldn’t process anything. It felt like he fell into a deep, deep dark hole and was free falling. His ears rang and his blood boiled. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t get any words out.

“Hey!” Hinata shouted, standing in front of Iwaizumi. “You—“

“Please don’t speak to my friends in such a manner,” Ushijima interrupted him. “This has gone too far.”

She looked at him, genuinely surprised, “What?”

“You’re being unjust and hateful. I need to ask you to please stop and respect our hosts.”

She floundered at him for a moment before crossing her arms and scoffing. Ushijima bowed to them.

“Please forgive us. We’re incredibly sorry.”

“Okay,” Hinata said softly. “Thank you.”

Iwaizumi vaguely felt Hinata pulling at him, but he couldn’t see right. He allowed himself to be pulled from the room, and then pushed onto his bed. He fell back and stared at the ceiling. His body felt so heavy and just  _ gross.  _

His vision came in and out of focus, memories and old emotions pushing at him from every side. It was like an elastic prison, the harder he tried to evade them, the more aggressively they’d snap back. He covered his face with his hands. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. His mind reeled with the sounds of his parents fighting, screaming, breaking things and hitting. He heard his siblings making fun of him because he was born so late after them that they’re parents didn’t want him at all, that they hated him just for being born. He heard his mother, ‘ _ who knows if that last asshole is even yours?’.  _ He felt every single time his father got too drunk and fought with his mother, every time she’d leave, and every time he was sought out as the second place punching bag.

He knew Hinata’s hands were on him. He knew he was trying to get his attention. But then it was him.

_ ‘You’re being aggressive and it’s scaring me.’ _

_ ‘You’re being aggressive and it’s scaring me.’ _

_ ‘You’re being aggressive and it’s scaring me.’ _

It ran in circles around his brain, over and over again, the lead vocals in the orchestra of traumas.

“I’m such a piece of shit,” he groaned.

Hinata said something, he wasn’t sure what. The hopeless opened up and consumed his anger whole. There was nothing left and there was no point. Not to anything. His hands fell from his face and he stared back at the ceiling. He kept hearing it all, so loudly. He wanted it to go away. He  _ needed  _ it to go away. He wanted to know why it was happening to him. It’s never happened to him before. He never thought about his family unless necessary, so why now?

Hinata got physically on top of him and got in his face. Iwaizumi wanted him to get off. He felt like he was suffocating. He wanted to be alone. Forever.

“Get off of me,” Iwaizumi may have interrupted him, but he wasn’t sure. “Please,  _ please, get off of me.” _

He gasped for air and clutched his chest. He was dying. That was it. His heart was going to fail him. He was going to die at twenty three years old. Tears pricked his eyes and he sat up, doing everything he could to get an adequate amount of air into his lungs. It wasn’t working.  _ It wasn’t working.  _

He wasn’t abusive. No, he wasn’t abusive. Unless he was. His father didn’t think he was abusive, but he was. He was, wasn’t he? He didn’t know anymore. He didn’t know what really happened. His parents always told him it wasn’t that bad, that they never actually said the hurtful things they said to him. So maybe they didn’t. Maybe his little child brain made it up. Children have active imaginations. Nothing was real.

He rolled up his pant leg with shaking hands and searched his ankle bone for his scar. That scar would prove it was all real. He couldn’t find it. Did he imagine a scar?

“Where is it?”

Hinata moved down by his feet and looked at him, his face entirely consumed by concern and panic. He said something Iwaizumi didn’t hear.

_ “Where is it?” _

“Where is  _ what?”  _ Hinata almost yelled.

Iwaizumi felt the tears running down his face, but he couldn’t be bothered. He was about to die and in his last moments he realized his life was all a lie. Who wouldn’t cry over that? Monsters. So, then, maybe he shouldn’t have been crying at all.

“My scar,” Iwaizumi gasped.

“Oh,” Hinata said, pulling up his other pant leg and ran his finger over the circular scar, “This scar?”

Iwaizumi’s vision focused on the scar and his crying got worse. It was real. That was worse. It was actually there. Hinata grabbed his hand and tried speaking to him again. Iwaizumi pulled his hand back, he didn’t want to be touched. Hinata raised his hands and took a step back and tried talking again. Iwaizumi’s world was crashing around him. He was going to die.

He recognized that Hinata left the room and felt almost relieved. He allowed his emotions to consume him as he descended more and more into the madness for who knows how long. To Iwaizumi’s shock and absolute horror, he returned with Leilani.

“You can’t be here,” he wiped at his face with numb hands. “Why are you here? Why would you—“

“Iwa, Iwa,” she shushed, rushing gently over to him. “It’s okay.”

_ “How do you know that? I’m going to die,”  _ despite his best efforts to cover his tears, he knew it was a losing battle. They continued to fall in rapid succession, plugging up his nose and throat. She made a point of not getting too close to him.

“I think you’re having a panic attack.”

He stared at her. No, he was getting what he deserved.

“Focus on me, okay? Tell me what I look like.”

“What?” He gasped, clutching his chest again and closing his eyes.

“No, no, please open your eyes,” she said and he did so. “Focus on me. Describe me.”

“Brown hair,” he strained. “Brown eyes. Dark skin. Tall. Tall. Long hair. Straight teeth.”

“Good,” she smiled at him. “Find five green things in the room, okay?”

He looked around, able to focus somewhat on the things around him, “Binder… Shirt. Painting. Shoes. Volleyball.”

“Good,” she praised. He was feeling calmer. His nerves still felt split but he felt like a real entity again.

“I think we should go to the hospital,” she said.

“What? No. No.” The panic flared up in him again and she made him list off purple things. 

“Okay, if you don’t want to go, can you talk to us? Your ohana?”

He looked hesitantly between her and Hinata, who looked partly panicked still but partly relieved that he was responsive again.

“I don’t know,” he choked.

“Can you tell us what happened?”

“She said I beat people.”

Leilani furrowed her brow at him and looked at Hinata for an explanation.

“Ushijima’s absolute peach of a fiance told us we’re going to hell then called him aggressive and said he’s probably only with men because he has a history of beating women.”

“She sounds great,” Leilani said flatly. “Okay, well, that isn’t true, now is it?”

“I don’t think so,” Iwaizumi said.

“You don’t think so?” Hinata asked.

“I don’t know what’s real. I… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, Iwa,” Leilani said softly. “Is that what upset you? That you don’t know?”

“No, I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s… my parents.”

Hinata frowned, “I think it’s time we finally talk about your parents.”

When Iwaizumi shook his head, Leilani spoke softly, “This is a safe place. Please trust us. Anything you can tell us helps.”

He took a few deep breaths, having them finally fully inflate his lungs. Air felt good.

“I’m sorry, Shōyō,” he choked. “I- I’m sorry if I haven’t been good, I—“

Hinata held a hand up to him, “You’ve been nothing but perfect. I love you. Please trust me. Trust us. We want to help you.”

He nodded weakly, “Okay. I… I trust you.”

He tapped his foot against the floor as he thought about where to start. There was just so much.

“My dad is a mean drunk. And he was drunk a lot.”

When he was silent for a moment, Hinata urged him to go on, “Yeah?”

“He’d yell a lot and break things. That’s why I mostly stayed with Oikawa until he left.”

“Did he yell at you or just in general?”

“Both, I guess. Mostly at my mom,” Iwaizumi said. “But sometimes she would leave and after my siblings were gone, it was just me.”

“Would he just yell?” Hinata asked.

“Um,” Iwaizumi squirmed where he sat. “Uh, no. He’d get, um, physical sometimes.”

“With you?” Leilani asked.

“Sometimes. Not often.”

“Is that where you got your scar?” Hinata asked hesitantly.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“My mom did that. I- She was really angry at me because I broke a plate that my grandmother left her. I think it was fine china, I can’t remember.”

“What… Did she do to scar you?” Leilani asked, recoiling a bit.

He looked away from them, “A cigarette. But I broke something really important. It’s fine.”

_ “A cigarette?”  _ Hinata asked. “As in she put one out on you?”

“It’s fine, really!” Iwaizumi finally looked at him, panic at the hands of judgment arose within him. “I deserved that. I mea—“

“No!” Hinata shouted. “No one ever deserves that!”

He recoiled at his volume and withdrew within himself, “I’m sorry.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Leilani said. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “No. It’s fine. Normally I don’t think about it. I don’t know why I am now.”

“Because it’s traumatizing,” she said. “Is there anything else that bothered you?”

“There’s a lot,” he sighed. “I’m so tired. I just want it to stop.”

“That’s understandable. We don’t have to keep talking about it.”

“We might as well get it all out there,” Iwaizumi sighed. “If that’s what you guys want, anyways.”

They nodded and Hinata moved from where he stood by the door to kneel beside Leilani.

“There’s a five year age gap between me and my youngest older sibling. They always told me how the age gap meant I was an accident and my parents didn’t really want me. Which is true, but I don’t think they  _ really  _ wanted any of us. I don’t know if my dad is really my dad. He was always harsher to me than my other siblings and I overheard my mom tell him she cheated on him and that I may not be his, but I’m not sure if that’s something she just said out of anger. They never paid much attention to us growing up unless we did something wrong. I started staying at Oikawa’s as often as he’d let me until he demanded we stayed at my house one weekend. I put it off as long as I could, but eventually couldn’t anymore. We spent exactly four hours at my house before we went back to his. My parents smoke inside and even with their best fake nice charade, Oikawa saw through it, despite being so young. His parents are amazing. I had my own room in his house and they never made me go home. I love them so much. I owe Oikawa everything.”

“I’m really glad you had him,” Hinata hesitantly reached a hand out to Iwaizumi who stared at it for a second.

He took Hinata’s hand and hoisted him up beside him on the bed. He held him very closely against his body and kissed his temple.

“I’m sorry about scaring you when we fought. That hurts more than any of it. I’ll do better.”

“I will, too, okay? I’m here for you. Always.”

Iwaizumi tucked his face into his neck and squeezed him tighter, “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Iwa,” Hinata rubbed his back. “It doesn’t have to be tonight, but you need to see a doctor, okay? All that trauma is catching up to you. I don’t want this to happen to you forever.”

“If that’s what you think is right.”

They stayed quiet for a moment before Iwaizumi pulled away and hesitantly spoke once again.

“This is why I don’t want kids. I can’t risk being like him.”

“I understand. I just need you to know that you  _ aren’t  _ like that. At all. You’re amazing. Thoughtful, considerate and you put every effort in.”

“I try.”

“You’re amazing and I’m incredibly thankful you’re in my life.”

“Me too,” Iwaizumi said.

“Are you feeling better?” Leilani asked.

“Sort of,” he said sheepishly. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way here.”

“We’re family,” she said with a smile. “I’d walk to the end of the earth for you, Iwa. And I mean it.”

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too, dummy!”

“Are you going to talk to Ushijima while you’re here?”

“I view it as a personal responsibility to save him from such a monster after what I heard here. I was going to leave it alone, but anyone who mistreats my family like that needs to go. But there’s one thing I need to know, first.”

“What’s that?”

“Did  _ he  _ say anything when she said all of that?”

“He did,” Hinata nodded. “I’m sure she got a more private talking to after we left the room, too. Seeing as she was gone by the time I went to call you and he apologized profusely to me.”

“Good.” She stood.

“Hey, to be totally forthright,” Iwaizumi stood as well. “I’m going to make tea and eavesdrop.”

She laughed, “Sounds good to me.”

Hinata stood and held his hand, “I’ll make it for you. I want you to relax, okay?”

“Sure. Thank you.”

They walked into the kitchen, where Ushijima already waited. It was unheard of for him to be up at such an hour. Iwaizumi attempted to hide his splotchy face from him, but the giant confronted him and bowed.

“I apologize profusely for Charlotte’s behavior. I spoke to her in great detail about the importance of respect and understanding. I hope you can come to forgive her and give her another opportunity to make a good impression.”

“If she can prove she’s changed, then fine,” Iwaizumi bowed back. “Thank you for taking action.”

Hinata put the kettle on and Leilani looked at Ushijima, catching his attention.

“Wakatoshi, can I… Can I speak to you?”

“You don’t need to ask for my attention when you clearly already have it.”

“Right, but it’s a, um, sensitive conversation.”

“Okay.”

She looked around, surprised he didn’t ask to go somewhere more private, “Alright, here goes.” She took a deep breath. “I am interested in you. Romantically. I don’t think you should be with Charlotte. Quite frankly, she seems horrible. I don’t want to see you make a mistake because I think you genuinely deserve the best.”

“You think you’re the best,” he stated. “That’s prideful.”

“I don’t think I’m the best but I think I could make you happy. I don’t think this arranged marriage would make you as happy as I could if given the chance.”

“It’s unbecoming of you to insert yourself where you don’t belong,” Ushijima said. “It is wrong to push yourself onto a promised individual. You must avoid doing so in the future. My answer is no.”

“Okay,” she did a poor job of covering the hurt in her voice. “If you  _ weren’t  _ engaged, would this have gone differently?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Fine. Promise me you won’t regret it. That it’ll make you happy.”

“My emotional state is no concern of yours.”

“Okay. Thank you for your candor,” she offered her hand.

He shook it, “I appreciate you respecting my relationship from now on and I look forward to our prospective friendship.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice making your acquaintance, Leilani. Goodbye,” he turned to walk away.

“You too.”

He stopped and turned, “You will find someone who will fulfill you. I have no doubt.”

“Thank you.”

He left the room and Hinata let out a large breath before serving the tea, “That was brutal. Im sorry Leilani.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t expect much else, to be totally honest.”

Iwaizumi sipped his tea, “You’re both missing it.”

“Missing what?” Hinata asked.

“That hurt him to do.”

“What?” Leilani frowned. “How do you know?”

“He used so many contractions. And he actually emoted. Plus, he turned to say something nice at the end. If he didn’t care about how you thought of him he would’ve left it.”

“That’s good enough for me,” she laughed. She moved in to hug them both before bidding them a good night.

They walked her to the door and waited for her car to disappear around the corner before going back inside. They sat at the table and Hinata watched Iwaizumi drink his tea.

After too long of that, Iwaizumi snapped, “What’s up, babe?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he even smiled for added effect of his okayness.

“You were pretty upset. Are you sure?”

Iwaizumi began speaking in Japanese, hoping it would add to the genuineness of his sentiment, “I am totally fine. Okay, not totally. But I am okay. I promise.”

“Okay,” Hinata slipped into the Japanese easily. “I’m worried about you.”

“I appreciate that, but it’s unnecessary right now.”

“Okay.”

Hinata continued watching Iwaizumi drink his tea until it was gone. Iwaizumi went and cleaned his cup with Hinata hovering the entire way.

“I love you, but you’re too worried,” Iwaizumi glanced at him.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just never seen you be that way,” Hinata rubbed his neck. “I didn’t know about any of that. I feel terrible.”

“You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. I don’t see how that’s your fault.”

“Maybe if I made you feel like you could trust me—“

“I’m going to stop you right there. It was never about trust. I trust you fully and completely. It’s about shame.”

“Oh,” Hinata frowned.

Iwaizumi put his hands on Hinata’s shoulders, “I should have told you sooner. I guess maybe I was hoping it’d never come up and I wouldn’t have to tell anyone ever again. I’m sorry.”

Hinata moved forward and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist and put his head into his chest. Iwaizumi sighed and pulled away.

“Come on, let me show you something.”

Hinata furrowed his brow but allowed himself to be pulled into the living room anyway. Iwaizumi sat him on the bench of the piano and sat beside him. Hinata knew he must’ve played because he bought it, even if it was old and honestly, a bit ugly, but he’d never actually heard him use it. He sat expectantly as Iwaizumi’s hands hovered above the keys.

“I’m not great at this,” he smiled down at it. “But Oikawa’s dad always played and I fell in love. He showed me some of it and sometimes when I’m alone and feeling… some type of way, I’ll play the songs he taught me, even if they are all  _ Simon & Garfunkel.” _

Hinata laughed, “My parents  _ adore  _ them. They have a special place in my little heart.”

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know,” Iwaizumi said, staring down at the keys. “Maybe you can help me sing, then, I’m not too good at that, either.”

His fingers finally made contact with the keys and he began the slow introduction to the song. Hinata immediately recognized the song and began singing quietly alongside Iwaizumi, shivers running down his spine at each note.

_ ‘Tom, get your plane right on time _

_ I know your part'll go fine _

_ Fly down to Mexico _

_ Do-n-do-d-do-n-do and here I am, _

_ The only living boy in New York’ _

Hinata ran his hand along Iwaizumi’s back as they sang, smiling at his fiance. He felt like he finally  _ knew  _ him. There was always that piece of cling wrap between them, and with it gone, he felt like they could really breathe.

_ ‘I get the news I need on the weather report _

_ I can gather all the news I need on the weather report _

_ Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile _

_ Do-n-doh-d-doh-n-doh and here I am _

_ The only living boy in New York’ _

His heart hurt when he looked at Iwaizumi but he knew the last thing the man wanted was for his perception of him to change. That was probably the most baseline reason he neglected to talk about it for so long.

_ ‘Half of the time we're gone _

_ But we don't know where, _

_ And we don't know where _

_ Half of the time we're gone _

_ But we don't know where, _

_ And we don't know where’ _

Iwaizumi smiled at him as he played the interlude, melting Hinata’s heart entirely. He seemed completely at peace in the company of the music. Come to think of it, Hinata actually never heard what Iwaizumi listened to. He was either playing his own music or the radio was on. Maybe Iwaizumi was the kind of person who took music incredibly personally and didn’t like to share the experience.

_ ‘Tom, get your plane right on time _

_ I know you've been eager to fly now _

_ Hey let your honesty shine, shine, shine now _

_ Do-n-do-d-do-n-do _

_ Like it shines on me _

_ The only living boy in New York, _

_ The only living boy in New York’ _

Iwaizumi finished the song with a small flourish along the keys and took Hinata’s hand in his own. The ginger cleared his throat and ran his fingers over a couple keys.

“I know exactly one song on the piano, and it also happens to be  _ Simon & Garfunkel.  _ My dad played, but it never interested me much. 

“Let’s hear it then,” Iwaizumi smiled.

Hinata nervously moved forward, knowing already that he’d forget it. He started playing and Iwaizumi perked up. He took the low end of the keys while Hinata played the higher notes. Everything within the ginger swelled with joy at their harmony.

They sang together.

_ ‘Slow down, you move too fast _

_ You got to make the morning last _

_ Just kicking down the cobblestones _

_ Looking for fun and feeling groovy _

_ Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy _

_ Hello lamppost, what'cha knowing _

_ I've come to watch your flowers growin' _

_ Ain't you got no rhymes for me? _

_ Doo-ait-n-doo-doo, feeling groovy _

_ Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy _

_ I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep _

_ I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep _

_ Let the morning time drop all its petals on me _

_ Life, I love you, all is groovy’ _

Iwaizumi engulfed Hinata in a tight hug, “You have the most beautiful voice.”

“Thank you,” Hinata blushed. “I’m only average.”

“Not true. But, uh,” Iwaizumi’s smile cracked. “That first song we sang…”

“Yeah?”

“I listened to it a  _ lot  _ after Oikawa left. Basically it's about how Art Garfunkel got an acting job in Mexico, so he was leaving and breaking up the band. But Paul Simon is the best person ever and accepted that and supported his friend. They started off as  _ Tom & Jerry  _ so that’s why he called him Tom in the song. But after he left, he felt like he was the only living boy left in New York. And that’s kind of how I felt after Oikawa left. I knew he had to go, and I’m so proud of him, but it felt like part of my soul went with him, at the risk of sounding dramatic.”

Iwaizumi laughed lightly, tears pushing at his eyes again, “I miss him so much. He’s my best friend. He’s my brother. But I’m so happy he’s out there doing everything he’s meant to.”

“That’s really sweet, Iwa. I’m willing to bet anything that he misses you, too.”

“I know,” Iwaizumi smiled. “Normally when I’m feeling off like that, I’d just talk to him. I guess I really took for granted what we had.”

“You have me now,” Hinata smiled as he looked back at the piano. “I know it isn’t the same, but I’m here for you.”

“I need to learn how to let people in,” Iwaizumi said, running his hand through Hinata’s hair. “I appreciate your endless patience with me.”

“You say that like it’s a chore,” Hinata said. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be. I’m not going anywhere and I suggest you accept that.”

Iwaizumi frowned before he smiled, “Good. Me neither.”

“And about having kids,” Hinata said slowly. “Obviously there’s no rush. We still need to live our lives and there’s a lot we need to work through together, but it’s something I need. Do you think you can reconsider? I know—“

“Yes.”

“What?” Hinata looked at him.

“If I’m ever having kids with anyone, it’s you. I’ll think about it. And it won’t be soon, certainly not within the foreseeable future, but—“

Hinata cut him off with a tight and loving hug and whispered in his ear, “Thank you.”

Iwaizumi melted into the touch and wrapped his arms around his fiance, never wanting him to let go. He didn’t say anything, because there was nothing to say. It was all said in their touch.


	10. Those USA Assholes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CONTAINS MANY CONTENT WARNINGS  
> \- mentions of rape  
> \- racism  
> \- date rape drugs  
> (there is no actual rape. just mentions.)  
> please keep in mind any views presented in this writing do not reflect my own

The next couple of months were a mixed bag for them. Some days were good, others were nearly unbearable. The days where Iwaizumi worked were the best since he was readily distracted. It was when he was alone with his thoughts that things got bad. Ever since the flood gates were opened, more and more memories came to him.

He always had nightmares, and did a good job of hiding them from Hinata, but as his thoughts became more about his experiences, his dreams followed suit. The nightmares became unbearable. Especially with Hinata paying more attention, he just couldn’t hide them anymore. He couldn’t fall asleep at night until he was completely exhausted, which didn't work, because Hinata would insist on staying up with him. Since the Olympics were coming quickly, and Hinata needed to keep his health up, Iwaizumi perfected the art of pretending he was asleep so Hinata would sleep, too. Then, he’d spend most of the night cycling through thoughts, trying hard to push the bad and intrusive ones away. His lack of sleep made him testy. He found himself being argumentative at the best of times, then felt incredibly guilty about it later. Hinata was incredibly patient with him, which only added to the guilt. He didn’t deserve such an amazing partner.

Iwaizumi met with a psychologist and they worked their way towards a diagnosis. CPTSD: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, because he wanted to hear he was fine and could go home. The good end of the spectrum was that some people could deal with their symptoms in six months, where the bad end was that some cases were chronic. Hinata never brought up the topic of his family, and would limit his advice or comments unless specifically asked. Neither of them wanted them to show up to their wedding, but the good news was that they’d likely forget, anyway.

Iwaizumi more or less stopped talking to his friends, unless they happened to be at work, but he’d be short with them, too. He didn’t mean to be so temperamental, it just happened and he hated himself for it every time. It was getting better, however minutely, two weeks into therapy. He refused medication, not wanting to rely on fake happy chemicals. All that being said, he and Hinata had never been closer. The ginger was his happy place and person of comfort. Hinata felt better being in the loop about everything and was very conscientious about Iwaizumi’s needs and boundaries.

That brought them to Tokyo. They disembarked from their plane and immediately boarded another bus. They were all exhausted, leaving in the afternoon and arriving in Tokyo in the morning time, whereas normally it’d just be two in the morning for them. Iwaizumi took a seat by the window and Hinata sat beside him. They each put earbuds in, both less excited about the surroundings than their team due to having seen it before and both of them being entirely and completely dead.

Hinata curled into Iwaizumi’s side and the brunet welcomed him warmly. He watched out the window as Hinata easily fell asleep on him and recalled the memories he had in Tokyo, if not many. They were on their way to the Olympics. All of their decisions for as long as they could remember brought them to that point. Hinata would actually be a starting player on an Olympic team, so young. He never thought it possible, but there they were. They’d play against Kageyama and Oikawa.

_ ‘I’m going to see Oikawa,’  _ Iwaizumi thought and genuinely smiled. He missed his brother.

His eyes grew heavy as he thought happy thoughts about reuniting with his oldest friend. Eventually, he fell asleep, peacefully for the first time in a while.

Ryan woke them up at their hotel by pouncing on them, scaring the living shit out of each of them. While he found it hilarious, it was safe to say Iwaizumi and Hinata didn’t. They glared at him heartily while they yawned and stretched, getting up to go inside. They grabbed their bags and the managers checked them in.

“Keep ‘em in check for me, okay, Iwaizumi?” Tony laughed. “We’re getting wrecked on our first night in Tokyo.”

“Sure thing, Tony,” Iwaizumi yawned.

He handed Hinata their room key and told him he’d be up in a second. He looked around the lobby and wondered if Oikawa was already there. He yawned yet again, stretching his arms over his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

«Iwa-chan!» Oikawa’s singsong voice came from behind him.

Iwaizumi nearly dissolved at the sound. He broke his yawn and turned immediately. He ran to his friend who readily locked him in a tight hug.

«I missed you so much,» Iwaizumi mumbled into his collarbone.

«Aw, Iwa-chan, you’re so much sweeter than I remember you being!»

«Shut up, idiot. Don’t make it shitty.»

«Yeah,  _ me  _ make it shitty,» Oikawa laughed, never breaking his tight hold. «How’ve you been, since you  _ never  _ call?»

«Ah, well—»

“ _ OIKAWA!” _

They turned and watched Ryan storm up to them. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and Oikawa grimaced.

“Iwaizumi, translate for me here, will ya?”

“No.”

“Awesome, thanks, buddy,” Ryan clapped him on the back. “I’m going to kick your ass out there! You’re never gonna wanna pick up another volleyball again for as long as you live!”

He looked at Iwaizumi expectantly, who sighed, «He says he has the utmost respect for you and can’t wait until you buy your first home together.»

The look Oikawa gave him was priceless. The blush, the disgust, the slight tint of green his skin glowed was  _ perfect.  _

«Oh, no,» Oikawa said, then looked at Ryan, “No! Okay? No! No, no, no!»

“That’s right, be afraid!” Ryan laughed with his hands on his hips. “Where’s Kageyama?”

«He said he wants a threesome with you and Kageyama.»

Oikawa’s fear and disgust only deepened,  _ «What?» _

“You and Kageyama have  _ no chance  _ at the gold. It’s rightfully ours! Then you’ll have to tell your children about the  _ great  _ Ryan Nyholm! He who handed your asses to you on a silver platter!”

Oikawa looked to Iwaizumi for a translation and was not disappointed.

«He says you three can have children together and tell them great stories of volleyball. Also, nice ass.»

«He did not.»

«I know. It’s hard to believe isn’t it, Flattykawa?»

Oikawa’s face went red, «I don’t know who to kill first.»

Iwaizumi laughed hard and Ryan looked confused. What he said wasn’t funny. He caught glimpse of Kageyama, though, and was off. Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand and examined the ring on his finger.

«It’s really happening, huh? Congratulations.»

Iwaizumi went in to hug him again, «Thank you.»

“Hey, Hajime!” Hinata called from behind him. He smiled and turned to grab his outstretched hand. “You found Oikawa!”

Iwaizumi couldn’t stop beaming and kissed his temple, “I sure did. And you found me.”

“I got bored of waiting,” Hinata laughed, overjoyed to see his fiance genuinely happy and leaned up to kiss him.

«I can’t believe this whole thing actually  _ worked out  _ for you two,» Oikawa grimaced. «What happened to not really liking each other?»

They shared a look and shrugged, then said in unison, «Sometimes love doesn’t care about your plans.»

«God, you guys are creepy. Speaking of creepy...»

Hinata beamed as Ryan pulled a fighting Kageyama over to them, “Kageyama!”

«What’s up, loser nerd?»

Hinata frowned and shouted sternly, “Kageyama!”

Ryan smiled satisfactorily at them and planted his fists on his hips again, “We just need Atsumu Miya and Sacha Kotov and we have ourselves an instagram post!”

“Why those guys?” Hinata asked.

“Pretty setter squad!” Ryan shouted, throwing his hands up excitedly.

“Do you expect them just to stand there and wait for two other people who may not even be coming?” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him.

«Hey, how about throwing some Japanese around?» Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“I guess not,” Ryan frowned. “Let’s do it then!”

He ran around behind Kageyama and Oikawa after thrusting his phone into Iwaizumi’s hands. They both shied away from his touch, but he pulled them in close. Iwaizumi snapped the absolute best photo he could, being sure to capture all of the uncomfortableness.

“Perfect,” he said as he handed the phone back to Ryan.

The setter squealed at the photo and thanked them before running away to a new group of people.

«I can’t believe he’s some of our toughest competition,» Oikawa anguished.

«Yeah, he’s annoying but he’s  _ really  _ good,» Iwaizumi admitted. «I had to pick a second athletic trainer which was really hard because I knew he’d take up all of my patience.»

Kageyama hummed as he watched Ryan flit around from group to group, annoying every single one of them with selfies and overly enthusiastic greetings.

«Who’s the other trainer?» Oikawa asked. «I love trainers because they dote on me! Is he cute?»

«Actually—»

Hinata cut him off by waving largely and calling Leilani over, who was both caught off guard and preoccupied. She came over, though, excusing herself from her previous conversation.

“What’s up?” She asked, leaning in so he could hear her over the loud chatter in the increasingly busy lobby.

“This is Kageyama and Oikawa!” He pointed at them. «Guys, this is our other trainer, Leilani!»

The both waved weakly at her with red cheeks and slack jaws. She beamed at them before shaking their hands.

«Hi, guys!» She called in decent Japanese.

«You speak Japanese?» Kageyama asked.

«I don’t speak Japanese!» She yelled over the raising volume around them. «Hinata told me how to say a couple things and this sentence!»

Oikawa laughed, «I love it.»

«Committed,» Iwaizumi laughed right along with him.

“You guys lost me!” She laughed and patted Iwaizumi on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go find the coach. Don’t forget our meeting after dinner!”

“Right!” He yelled back. “What time again?”

She cupped her hands around her mouth as she backed into the mass of people, “Five! Don’t be late, stupid!”

He shook his head with a smile as he watched her go. When he turned back, he noticed that Oikawa and Kageyama were watching, too. He shook his head at them before either spoke.

«I’m in love,» Oikawa swooned.

«You can have  _ anyone,  _ just let me have her,» Kageyama shoved him.

«Oh, so  _ now  _ I can have anyone but before I was destined to die alone?» Oikawa scoffed and crossed his arms. «Pick a lane.»

«Whatever! Jus—»

«Who says she’d go for either of you anyways?» Iwaizumi absolutely relished their shocked expressions. «She’s a bit emotionally tied up right now, anyways. Not that either of you can even  _ talk  _ to her.»

They frowned and Kageyama asked, «She’s dating someone?»

«Not exactly,» Iwaizumi ran his hand along Hinata’s back. «Why don’t you tell them who it is, baby?»

Hinata perked up, absolutely foaming at the mouth to get that gossip out of his system, « _ Ushijima!!» _

They nearly died laughing when their friends couldn’t believe their ears. Their shouts of protests were loud and hilarious. Oikawa pointed at Iwaizumi.

«I could never beat him in high school, but I  _ will  _ beat him now! I will win the woman!»

«First of all, she isn’t something to be won. And secondly, he rejected her.»

«He rejected  _ her?»  _ They called out together, equally outraged.

«Yeah, he’s engaged,» Hinata said.

«This isn’t a world I want to live in,» Oikawa turned away. «The world where I’m single and Ushiwaka has  _ two  _ girls? No. This isn't the world I belong in.»

Iwaizumi scoffed and shoved his friend by the back. He was startled by the coach tapping him on the shoulder, he turned and immediately apologized. The coach eyed Oikawa and Kageyama up before turning his full attention on Iwaizumi. 

“Listen, we got here two days early to deal with the jet lag, but the boys  _ will  _ use that as an excuse to party. I don’t reasonably expect you to stop them, but try and get them to control themselves, okay? We have a meeting after dinner which is at five in the banquet hall here. Meeting is at seven. Be there. Don’t be late. Wear your motivational pants, too, okay, kid?”

“Yes, sir,” Iwaizumi nodded.

The coach patted him on the shoulder, “Good. Go enjoy your day until then.” He slapped Hinata on the back, “Stay loose, kid, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir!” Hinata beamed at him.

The coach pointed between them, “I know you’re home right now and these guys are your old friends, but watch what you say in front of them, okay? We worked too long for too hard to keep you under the radar, don’t blow it.”

Hinata saluted him and they yelled their confirmation.

“Oh, one more thing,” he turned before he got too far. “Keep an eye on Nyholm. I stuck Horowitz on him, but I know he gets fed up with him easily. Take shifts, will ya?”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi sighed heavily.

He flashed him an apologetic smile, but it also said ‘ _ you have to pay your dues’.  _ Iwaizumi checked around the room, looking for Ryan. When he found him he saw Cole already abandoned his post as babysitter. He gestured to his friends that he’d be right back.

He went and grabbed Ryan by the hand, rudely pulling him away from his conversation and made him stand beside him.

“What?” Ryan asked, looking around them all.

“I have direct orders.”

“To what? Babysit me? I’m a grown man!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You stay right there beside me or there  _ will  _ be consequences.”

“Okay! Fine! What are we doing today, then?”

Iwaizumi frowned and looked at Hinata, “What  _ are  _ we doing today?”

“Oh, I figured you’d be catching up with Oikawa so I made plans with Kenma.”

“Sounds good,” Iwaizumi nodded.

Hinata beamed and leaned up to give him a solid kiss before turning and bouncing away. He called back over his shoulder as he went.

“I love you!”

“Love you, too,” Iwaizumi said, even if there was no way he could’ve heard. He turned back to the group. «So what are we doing today?»

«We are catching up my dear friend! All of my undivided attention placed  _ solely  _ on you,» Oikawa wrapped his arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulder and started leading him away.

Iwaizumi grabbed Ryan by the shirt to assure he was following and shouted goodbye to Kageyama. They walked down the street in front of their hotel, Iwaizumi never letting go of Ryan until he was swatted away.

“Dude, chill, we’re hanging out with  _ Oikawa,  _ I’m not going anywhere!”

Iwaizumi huffed and allowed him to fall slightly behind them as Oikawa started talking again, «So what’s new, Iwa-chan?»

«Okay, the bullet points are, I’ve reconsidered having kids, got diagnosed with CPTSD and go to therapy twice a week. I let Hinata know about my family situation. Uh,» he thought, «Otherwise, just  _ lots  _ of practice.»

«Wow,» Oikawa looked at him before linking their arms together. «I’m really proud of you!»

«Thanks,» Iwaizumi knocked their shoulders together. «What about you?»

Oikawa hummed, «Really not much besides avoiding Ryan’s direct messages and preparing for the Olympics. My life’s pretty boring for how busy I am.»

«You still haven’t gotten into a relationship? Not even for a while?»

«No, everyone sucks. I mean, I could’ve. But anything more than a friends with benefits situation just isn’t right for me right now.»

«You’re falling behind!» Iwaizumi laughed.

«We’re not all blessed by accidentally falling in love while fake dating an ex-volleyball rival,» Oikawa laughed bitterly.

Iwaizumi hummed and they moved on in silence. Ryan would attempt to start conversations and they’d taper off very quickly. Oikawa would use his intensely limited English to tell him to shut up. Iwaizumi picked up on a subtle vibe that Oikawa actually enjoyed the attention, but didn’t comment.

They met in a boardroom after dinner, the team all sitting and the management, coaches and trainers standing.

“I know a lot of you have personal beef with Oikawa, Kageyama and Sacha,” the coach looked at them with crossed arms. “Historically our biggest rival is Brazil, but lately Italy has been on the upswing in World Tournaments. Don’t be deterred from our  _ real  _ challenges. Japan has been on the downswing having not actually qualified for the Olympics at all for the last few times.”

The team shouted their understanding. 

“The United States has been doing well in the Olympics, second  _ only  _ to Brazil and  _ Italy.  _ Be confident, don’t be cocky, don’t underestimate your enemy but more than that,  _ don’t underestimate yourselves!” _

They clapped for the coach and he pushed Iwaizumi forward.

“Right,” he looked around. “You’ve all worked so hard to get to where you are right now. Before I even knew most of you. You should be very proud,” he applauded them, which they returned.

“That being said,” he continued. “You aren’t done yet. The biggest challenge is just ahead now. Don’t rest easy, these other teams have worked just as hard as you. They’re all here for a reason! They’re all good! This is world class, guys.”

He stared them down, suddenly very uncomfortable being under their attentive and respectful gazes, especially being younger than some of them.

“There  _ will  _ be a party tonight. That is a fact. Anyone who partakes in alcohol  _ will  _ make up for it tomorrow. Control yourselves and remember why you’re here. Don’t sacrifice the gold for a party. If I catch anyone throwing up, I’ll make you regret your decisions even more. Understood?”

“Sir!”

“Good! I’m expecting great things from all of you! Make us proud!”

They applauded and cheered for each other, then all looked to the coach for permission to leave. He nodded and they all hurriedly stood to leave.

“Actually!” He yelled, stopping them all mid motion, and they all sat back down. “Just a couple little notes. Nyholm!  _ Behave yourself.  _ If anyone catches you bothering Oikawa they have every permission from me to end you.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, “Can I talk to him at all?”

“You don’t even speak the same language! You have  _ no  _ reason to speak to him. Keep it to yourself.”

Ryan huffed but agreed.

“If anyone sees him bothering the poor man, report it to Iwaizumi. He has permission to break him. Other than that, wear your jackets and show some damn pride!”

They applauded both sentiments before breaking up their meeting. After all the reviewing and strategizing they had to do, it was pretty late. By the time they got back to their hall, all proudly wearing their navy blue jackets, the party was in full swing.

The attending company noticed them and shouted their greeting. Then, the music cut out and a voice shouted from deep within the mass.

“THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! THIS IS FOR YOU LITTLE ASSHOLES!”

The team looked around them curiously as some type of beach music began playing. The rest of the players around them all danced as they sang at them. Hinata couldn’t help his delighted laugh at the sight.

_ ‘If everybody had an ocean _

_ Across the USA _

_ Then everybody'd be surfin' _

_ Like Californi-a’!’ _

Ryan, Toby and Cole all sang back at them, making Hinata laugh harder.

_ ‘You'd seem 'em wearing their baggies _

_ Huarache sandals too! _

_ Everybody's gone surfin' _

_ Surfin' USA!’ _

He joined in the dancing, forcing Iwaizumi to dance alongside him. He didn’t know the words, but he loved it.

_ ‘You'd catch 'em surfin' at Del Mar _

_ Ventura County line _

_ Santa Cruz and Trestles _

_ Australia’s Narrabeen _

_ All over Manhattan _

_ And down Doheny Way! _

_ Everybody's gone surfin'!’ _

Bokuto broke free of the crowd, dancing over, doing classic moves such as ‘ _ fake broad stroke’  _ and ‘ _ the snorkel’ _ and smothered Hinata in a bone crushing hug, nooging him as he screamed.

_ ‘Surfin' USA!!’ _

Hinata screamed ecstatically as he hugged Bokuto back. He was swung around by the tall man, stolen away from Iwaizumi as they danced lamely to the song.

_ ‘We'll all be planning that route _

_ We're gonna take real soon _

_ We're waxing down our surfboards _

_ We can't wait til June _

_ We'll all be gone for the summer _

_ We're on safari to stay _

_ Tell the teacher we're surfin' _

_ Surfin' USA!!’ _

“Bokuto!” Hinata screamed as the song died out and pushed into party music again. “You’re here!”

“Hey, hey, hey! Sure am! Can’t let my student surpass me, now can I?”

“Wait,” Hinata frowned. “You’re speaking English.”

“Whoa!” Bokuto’s jaw dropped as he pointed back at Hinata. “So are you!”

“No way!”

“Crazy, right?”

Hinata noticed Iwaizumi looking confused off to the side and pulled him over, “Bokuto! This is Iwaizumi! He played for Seijoh!”

“Hey, man!” Bokuto swatted his hand aside and hugged him. “You on a team?”

“No, I’m the athletic trainer for USA.”

“Oh?” Bokuto squinted at him. “You also moved to the states?”

“We’re engaged!” Hinata beamed and he held up Iwaizumi’s hand for good measure.

Bokuto’s mouth fell fully open as he stared between them before engulfing them in a tight hug, “Hey,  _ hey, HEY!  _ Oh, my  _ GOD!” _

Iwaizumi’s hand was crushed in Hinata’s while the rest of him was crushed under Bokuto’s weight. He waited patiently to be released, but still took a moment to appreciate he was being touched by one of the top three hitters in all of Japan.

“We’re celebrating!” He pulled them both to the room with the booze. “I’m gonna ask Akaashi soon!” Bokuto beamed. “I need to win the gold first, though!”

“You  _ finally  _ asked him out?” Hinata eagerly followed him.

“Not exactly!” Bokuto laughed. “We never really talked about it! It became clear that he liked me the first time we had sex, but I knew for sure when he moved to Italy with me!”

Hinata cackled, “I love that so much!”

“What about you two?” Bokuto asked, pouring an obscene ratio of alcohol to juice (sugar free) into three cups. “How’d Seijoh meet Karasuno?”

“Um,” they stared at each other. After all that time, no one ever actually asked them that. Iwaizumi took the lead.

“The second I saw him play I knew I liked him. It took me a couple years but I finally worked up the courage to make a move, and luckily for me, it worked.”

“That’s sweet,” Bokuto shoved their cups in their hands. “Let’s get trashed!”

“Yeah!” Hinata shouted before meeting Iwaizumi’s eye, not as his fiance but as his boss. “In moderation!”

Iwaizumi laughed as he took a sip. He looked around the room and watched all the rivals interacting with each other when he caught wind of Ryan standing near Oikawa. He didn’t seem to realize they were so close in proximity, but when he did, he jumped and moved far, far away from him. Iwaizumi smirked before drinking his drink again. Good. When he turned back, he smiled at Hinata as he took photos with his friend. Then, when they were done, he was approached by another player. Then another. Then a couple more after that. He knew a lot of people, apparently. 

He shrugged and told him he was going to find Oikawa before doing just that. He poured himself another drink first, though. He made his way through the room, then the hall, looking for his friend. 

“Iwaizumi!”

He turned and was faced with Goshiki. He raised his eyebrows and shook his outstretched hand.

“Wow, hey!”

“Hey! I didn’t see you in any of our reviews!” Goshiki yelled over the music and chatter. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m with the United States!” Iwaizumi gestured behind him. “Athletic trainer!”

“Awesome!”

“What team are you on?”

“Brazil!” He shouted. “I’m the ace!”

“I don’t doubt it!”

Goshiki stepped beside him and they pushed through the people together, finally getting far enough from the music that they didn’t need to shout anymore.

“Remember how good we thought people were in high school?” Goshiki laughed. “These guys are something else. And somehow, Ushijima is still better than them all.”

“Even you?” Iwaizumi smirked.

“Of course not!” Goshiki narrowed his eyes at him. “No, no, not anymore!”

Iwaizumi laughed at him. He didn’t know much about the guy, but he did know he always had an inferiority complex with Ushijima. They walked in silence, Iwaizumi increasingly unsure why Goshiki was following him, but just decided he was in too deep to walk away at that point.

“What are you looking for?”

“Oikawa.”

“Ohh,” Goshiki took a sip of his own drink. “Last I saw, he was talking to some guy down in the bulk of it.”

Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder into the large crowd, dread filling him, “What guy?”

“I don’t know. Brown hair, tall, blue jacket.”

“Oh, god,” Iwaizumi groaned. He looked at his drink and downed the rest of it, needing to steady his nerves before he had to commit a premeditated murder. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Coach gave me direct orders to end him if he talks to Oikawa.”

They made their way through the people and Iwaizumi saw Oikawa talking to— not Ryan. Their jacket was pretty similar, but it wasn’t a United States one. He let out a sigh and ran his hand across Oikawa’s back to let him know he was there. His friend smiled and wrapped his arm around him, bringing him into the conversation.

Goshiki left and returned with a new drink for him, which he accepted hesitantly. He was always cautious at parties and about drinking things he didn’t  _ see  _ every step of the way since being poured, but he didn’t reasonably think Goshiki would drug him. He leaned into Oikawa’s touch, having missed it for years.

“Iwa!”

He turned around just in time to be gifted with an arms full of beautiful woman. He put his hand on her hip while she pulled back and put her arms around his neck. She smiled largely at him, which was infectious, and he  _ had  _ to smile back.

“What’s up?”

“Come dance with me!”

He pursed his lips as he thought about it, but she didn’t give him a chance. She pushed his cup to his lips and he laughed before drinking the rest of it and allowing himself to be pulled where others danced as well. He tried his best to dance with her, even if he wasn’t very good at it. She stayed close to him, but not  _ too _ close, which was good. 

He caught Hinata’s eye while she pretended to grind up against him. He pointed down at her as she threw down and mouthed,  _ ‘whaddup?’.  _ Hinata laughed hard before blowing him a kiss. Iwaizumi mimed catching it in the air and smashing it against his lips. Then, a blond man, tall as four buildings, approached the ginger and grabbed him by the arm and started leading him away. Hinata waved largely at Iwaizumi who just watched after him as he left.

Leilani turned and wrapped her arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders again, and he returned the touch by holding her by her hips. They danced together half heartedly for a moment before she rested her head on his chest and they just began to sway lazily. He put his head on hers and followed her gaze to where Ushijima stood alone along a far wall, sipping on a drink. He sighed and pulled her closer.

She spoke lowly so only he could hear, “I’m gonna get laid tonight.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah. I’m going to be single forever so I may as well have fun.”

“Okay,” he kissed her hair before pulling away. “Just promise you'll be safe.”

“Always,” she smiled, “And if anything goes wrong you’ll be the first one I call.”

“Good,” he smiled after as she walked away, holding his hand for as long as she could before their connection dropped and she disappeared into the crowd.

He moved to pour himself another drink, where Oikawa found him again.

«Iwa-chan!»

«What’s going on?»

«I just saw the  _ craziest  _ thing!»

«What’s that?» Iwaizumi looked at him when he was done mixing his drink.

«I’m  _ pretty  _ sure there was just a beautiful woman grinding up on you.»

«Ah,» Iwaizumi laughed. «Yeah. That’s accurate.»

«You think I’d have a shot? Surely if good, reliable Iwa-chan vouched for me?»

«Oh, shut up. I wouldn’t do that to her.»

«So mean. Anyways, I also noticed that Ryan seems to be avoiding me all of the sudden.»

«He was given very direct orders that he would be murdered if seen bothering you. I’ve been given very direct orders to do the murdering if I see him talking to you.»

«Oh, thank God. I can’t deal with how much that guy’s in love with me.»

«Yeah… About that.»

Oikawa looked at him sideways, «Oh, no, what?»

Iwaizumi held his cup over his mouth, stifling his laughter. He looked away from Oikawa before speaking.

«I may have been fucking with you a little bit there. He was actually telling you about how he’s going to kick your ass out on the court. I can’t say for sure that he is in love with you, but… I also can’t say for sure that he isn’t.»

Oikawa looked at him in shock. He looked around the room for the other setter, before finally settling back on Iwaizumi.

«What I  _ can _ tell you is that you are his absolute hero. He aspires to be just like you and he works really, really hard to be as good as you. You are his sworn rival.”

Oikawa pursed his lips and leaned in to Iwaizumi, «Wanna hear a secret?»

«Obviously,» Iwaizumi leaned in to meet him.

«I secretly like the attention he gives me. It makes me feel special that someone I didn’t know was so inspired by me.»

Iwaizumi blinked dumbly at him for far too long. He would hardly call that a secret.

«Oh, Iwa-chan,» Oikawa patted his back. «I didn’t realize your fiance was such a party animal!»

Iwaizumi followed his gaze and saw Hinata sitting in a group of people while they…  _ dyed his hair?  _ While being fed vodka by the ounce? By four different people?

“Okay, what?” Iwaizumi’s voice went high as he subconsciously made his way to the… not-so-ginger.

Hinata beamed when he noticed him and gestured excitedly to his hair.

“Why?”

“Ryan told me to do it! He gave me the dye, too! It’s gonna look awesome!”

“Hinata, you can’t undo that!”

“I know!”

Iwaizumi rubbed his face. He hadn’t had enough to drink to be dealing with everyone. He just followed along with Oikawa as they all found the nearest open room to rinse his hair in. Hinata towel dried his hair and pulled it away to present his new, brown hair.

“What do you think?”

They could speak quieter where they were, further from the music, but their ears still strained to pick up sound.

«It looks good!» Oikawa exclaimed. «Way better than the orange!»

“Thanks, Oikawa!”

He turned and batted his eyelashes and Iwaizumi, posture and expression much too sensual for the company of strangers, “What about you, baby?”

Iwaizumi pressed his lips together before pulling Hinata into his side, “It looks great, babe. Beautiful as always.”

He rushed them all out of the room when he felt Hinata’s hand travelling up the back of his shirt. He personally didn’t mind the public affection so much, but normally Hinata did and he didn’t want him to do something he might regret. Well, even more than he’d already done.

They got back to the mass of people and most of the friends Hinata made were gone. He patted Oikawa on the chest with the back of his hand then discreetly pointed at Hinata, who clung tightly to him, running his hand all up his skin under his shirt.

“I’m gonna go get laid.”

Oikawa saluted him with a smirk before disappearing. He wrapped his arm more fully around Hinata before leading him in the direction of their room, hoping it was empty. When they got to their hall, the music was merely a dull thump and Iwaizumi was getting hot and bothered as Hinata’s hand slipped to his ass every now and then. He slid his hand in Hinata’s back pocket before rounding a corner and running into Ushijima.

“What’s up?” He sighed when the giant didn’t move.

“I saw Leilani disappear with a strange man. I did not recognize him from any team’s roster. I was worried. I cannot find her.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi frowned. He took out his phone and had a missed call from her. His heart dropped. He clicked the notification for their text conversation and saw the one simple message that made his heart malfunction.

**_Leilani🌺:_ ** _ 911\. 314 _

He looked at Hinata and grabbed him by the shoulders, “Go get security. Bring them to room 314. Understand?”

Hinata seemed to sober up immediately under the panic in Iwaizumi’s voice. He nodded and ran back to where he came from. Iwaizumi shoved Ushijima on his way by, indicating he needed to follow. They ran up a flight of stairs and stationed themselves outside of room 314. Iwaizumi tried the handle and it didn’t work. 

He pounded on the door, “Open this damn thing, you mother _ fu—“ _

He stopped when he felt a hand on his chest. Ushijima pushed him back and swung his leg back. He kicked the door in with one attempt. Iwaizumi could’ve kissed him. They rushed inside and saw a man that Iwaizumi didn’t recognize, either. The room was dim and the energy was terrible. Leilana sat in the corner of the bed, far from the man, conscious, but barely.

Iwaizumi bounded over to the man and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him into a standing position before shaking him violently, “What did you do?  _ ANSWER ME!” _

Ushijima moved to the bed and scooped her up. She was completely dead weight in his arms and he sighed. He stopped by Iwaizumi on the way out of the door.

“You keep him here. Wait for security. I will let you know where I bring her. Do not hurt him. It is not worth being charged with assault.”

Iwaizumi huffed and threw the guy down, nodding once while never breaking his disgusted scowl. He stationed himself in front of the door, growing increasingly uneasy in the man’s company. He made no attempt to move. Even when Iwaizumi had him by his shirt, he made no attempt to fight back. It was creepy.

Security showed up momentarily and took his name and phone number, so they had some form of contact information. They informed him if Leilani wanted to press charges, they would make every effort to accommodate her. He hardly responded before checking his phone to see where Ushijima brought her.

He took Hinata by the hand and walked them slowly and solemnly to Ushijima’s room back on the first floor. He knocked when they arrived and Ushijima allowed them inside. He was rooming by himself, any moment, actually Charlotte would join him, which was allowed because her family owned the hotel chain, because of course they did.

Iwaizumi sat beside where Leilani ‘slept’ on the bed. His heart felt heavy. He failed her. He laid beside her and pet her ridiculously long hair. Hinata sat on the other side of her and just put his hand on her shoulder. 

“I don’t think anything actually happened to her,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “She was still awake when we found her.”

“Oh,” Hinata said flatly.

“Yeah.”

“You two can go to bed. Tomorrow is a recovery day. She is safe here.”

They looked at him wearily, “Right.”

They shared a look, not wanting to leave her, but not wanting to see Charlotte. They knew she was safer there than with the men she’d otherwise be with.

They stood and waved to Ushijima as they left, promising they’d check back in at their first opportunity. Ushijima shut the door behind them and sat on the bed awkwardly. He looked down at her.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “This should not have happened to you. I wish…”

He sighed and dared to reach out and pull his fingers through her hair. He frowned. It was so soft.

He retracted his hand, looking at it as though it committed a great sin. He sighed and shook his head before relocating to the suite’s couch. He knew Leilani’s presence would be poorly received when Charlotte arrived, and he had to prepare himself.

She arrived around four hours later, loudly bursting through the door with someone who carried her bags for her. Her cold eyes immediately locked onto Leilani then burned into Ushijima. The second the man left the room, no tip, she rounded on him.

“Just  _ why  _ is there an unconscious woman in  _ our  _ bed?”

He stood and bowed to her, “My sincerest of apologies. She had an unfortunate encounter with a man. He drugged her. She is here recovering as it is the safest place for her to be.”

“How about  _ her own  _ room?” She put her hands on her hips.

“She has to room with men. She works for the United States Men’s Volleyball Team.”

“So?”

“Please,” Ushijima said. “She is safe here.”

“Fine,” she glared at him. “And you’re not sleeping with her?”

“You already know I am saving myself for marriage.”

“Yeah, so you say.”

“You can trust me.”

“We’ll see about that,” she crossed her arms and turned away from him. “Where are  _ we  _ supposed to sleep?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re  _ not  _ sleeping beside her. And  _ I’m  _ most definitely not sleeping beside that…” she eyed Leilani up. “Thing.”

Ushijima bit his tongue before turning, “I’ll see if there’s another room.”

“Yeah.”

She stepped in front of him as he reached for the door. She leaned in and squinted at his shoulder before pulling one of Leilani’s long hairs from his jacket.

“You’re  _ not  _ sleeping with her, huh?”

“I am not. I had to carry her because she was unconscious.”

“Yeah. Right.” She moved out of his way, giving him the cold shoulder. “Find me something made out of chocolate while you’re gone. Not  _ just  _ chocolate though.”

He nodded once then stepped into the hall and put his hands over his face once the door was securely locked. He shook his head and called Iwaizumi, deciding it would be necessary for him to stay with Leilani overnight while he found somewhere different for himself and Charlotte to go.

Charlotte stood over Leilani where she slept. She hesitated before reaching down and grabbing a handful of her hair, anger and jealousy swelling in her. Ushijima told Charlotte how beautiful he thought long hair was. How it was the true essence of a beautiful woman. If she couldn’t get rid of her, she could at least get rid of the threat.

She moved to the room’s desk and found a pair of scissors, staring down at them. Without another thought, she returned to the bed and picked up Leilani’s hair again. She began snipping, no hesitation and no regret.

Iwaizumi met Ushijima in the lobby, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He didn’t protest on coming back. He was really worried about Leilani. They walked silently back to the hall, Iwaizumi not wanting to ask  _ why  _ he carried a soufflé or where he got it at such an hour. That was probably why he took so damn long to meet. They turned the corner in the hall, getting near the room, when they heard a blood curdling scream. They looked at each other before running and crashing into the room.

Charlotte sat on the suite’s couch, legs crossed and sipping a cup of tea. She faced away from Leilani who seemed to just wake up and was holding her hair— or lack thereof in her hands. Iwaizumi’s jaw dropped.

“What happened? Where is it?” Leilani clawed at her own head.  _ “Where is my hair?” _

Neither man could believe what they were looking at. How would Charlotte explain that away? Even if she could’ve fooled Leilani, she couldn’t fool them.

“Please,” Charlotte looked into her tea. “I did you a favor. It was looking just  _ nasty.  _ Have you ever heard of a shower?”

Iwaizumi watched Leilani process what she said in slow motion.

“You  _ cut  _ my hair? While I was unconscious?  _ What kind of absolutely psychotic, shit head of a—“ _

“Ugh, stop swearing. It looks bad on you,” Iwaizumi could’ve sworn Charlotte  _ smiled _ as she said it. 

Leilani was clearly sinking into a panic. She kept clawing at her head, as if just believing it back into existence was possible. Her fingers slid through her hair until she reached around shoulder length and they just grasped air. She started crying. Ugly crying. Sobbing and snot everywhere. She angrily leaped from the bed and began screaming.

“I have  _ never, ever  _ cut my hair in my  _ entire life!”  _ She pulled at her short locks.

“Yeah, it showed.”

“This is against everything I believe in, I—“ She covered her face with her hands. “This may be the— this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel so  _ violated.” _

“Really? Even though you don’t know if your whorish behaviors got you raped earlier?”

Leilani dropped her hands and stared at the back of Charlotte’s head. Iwaizumi could see the gears turning. He wanted to say something, say  _ anything,  _ but he couldn’t process the situation at all.

“You’re like a dog. Dogs never like haircuts, but you need to force them to sometimes. Or they’ll become unkempt and savage looking.”

Something seemed to snap in Leilani, and she went completely still. She took a deep breath and spoke in an eerily even voice.

“You know, in my culture, our hair is sacred. We never cut it. We take great pride in it. It holds our mana, it gives us power and energy. If for whatever reason we  _ do  _ decide to cut it, there’s an entire ceremony. We discard it thoughtfully and privately. So…” She took in a shaky breath. “Where is my hair?”

“I threw it out.”

“You threw it out?”

“I threw it out. Besides, holding onto old hair? That’s disgusting,” Charlotte finally turned to look at her. “But what else can I expect from a disgusting, savage, filthy, home wrecking,  _ whore?  _ You people are all the same. Natives. Animals.”

Within half a second, Leilani was lunging forward, arm cocked. Iwaizumi finally lept into action and physically blocked her blows, accidentally absorbing the first one she couldn’t stop in time.

“Iwa,  _ move,”  _ she growled. “She can insult me all she wants but when it’s my  _ people—“ _

“Your people don’t deserve what our government does for them!” Charlotte yelled, seemingly  _ loving  _ the attention it got her, however negative. “They’d be nowhere without settlers!”

“What?” Leilani screamed, trying to get around Iwaizumi, “What? What did they do for us? What did they give us?  _ Parts  _ of our own land? The plagues? Or the genocides?  _ Literal or cultural, you stupid fucking bitch?” _

Iwaizumi did all he could to stop Leilani, for her own sake. He personally wanted to hold Charlotte’s head under a horse’s hooves. He took every blow she tried to throw but missed. He held her firmly by her middle, adjusting whenever she’d try to get away from him. It was hard. She wasn’t exactly  _ small.  _ Her face was deep red and tears ran down her face as she sobbed, unable to come to terms with everything that happened to her in such a short amount of time.

“They’d be  _ alive,  _ you stupid fuc—“

She was cut off by Ushijima physically lifting her. Once she realized what happened, she kicked and pushed at him, trying to get away, but Ushijima was much stronger than her. So, she turned her attention on him.

“What about you? You gonna say something? Huh?”

He only stared at her, but he met her eyes steadily. 

“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re just going to  _ let  _ her say that.”

Ushijima put her down, but kept her gaze.

Iwaizumi looked at the door that'd been open the whole time. Cole and Toby peaked in, looking alarmed. He supposed the confrontation wasn’t  _ quiet. _

Leilani stared up at Ushijima, the still long strands of her hair from the uneven cut stuck in the corners of her mouth. Then, she scoffed and looked away.

“I was  _ so  _ wrong about you. You’re just a little bitch boy. If  _ that,”  _ she pointed at Charlotte without looking at her. “Is what you want. Then  _ that _ is what you deserve.”

She met his eye, “You’re dead to me. I hope you both have a bad life.”

Iwaizumi gulped, never thinking he’d have to see Leilani’s bad side. He honestly didn’t know she  _ had  _ a bad side. He could hardly blame her. Charlotte was the worst. Worst than the worst. And Ushijima really let her down.

Leilani walked up to Cole and took his hand, “Get me out of here.”

“Yeah, okay,” Cole said, stuck in shock from the scene they walked into. Toby followed them away, leaving Iwaizumi alone with Ushijima and the she devil.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to join the rest of the team before turning back, deciding being passive just wasn’t going to work for him.

He looked at Charlotte, “You gave me my first panic attack  _ ever.  _ You’re a terrible and hateful person. You deserve bad things. I hope Ushijima leaves you.”

Then, he turned to Ushijima, “I’m disappointed in you. Make it right. You’re better than this.”

He looked between her shocked face and his blank one before shaking his head and walking away. He heard her yell something after him, but he didn’t listen.

“Fuck you!” He yelled back before shutting her out.

He got back to his room and laid heavily beside Hinata. His fiance probably didn’t even notice he was gone. He always slept so heavily after he drank. He ran his hand along his back, savoring his warmth.

“You’re such a good person. I’m  _ so  _ fucking lucky.”

He leaned in and curled himself around Hinata, holding him closely, hearing and feeling his heartbeat. Then, he cried. He cried for Leilani. He cried about the man taking advantage of her, about her losing her hair, about Ushijima being an unreasonable asshole. He cried because he didn’t stop any of it. Hinata rolled over in his arms, fitting against him perfectly. While still asleep, he clumsily ran his hand over Iwaizumi’s hair and face.

“Shh, no, no, you’re okay. We’re okay. I love you. I have you. We’re still here.”

Iwaizumi listened to his many little comforts he seemed so used to spouting off by then. Normally, something like that would make him feel worse, but that time, it lulled his soul to peace. He couldn’t change the past. He’d just have to make it up to her, and he wouldn’t stop until he did.

He fell asleep in Hinata’s arms, cheeks damp, heart broken, but soul soaring with the promise of a brighter tomorrow.

He woke suddenly to a knock at the door. He sat up, feeling stuffy and stiff. He clumsily fell to the door, pulling it open and looked up at Ushijima.

“I left her.”

He stepped aside and let Ushijima in. They spent a few minutes setting up a makeshift bed for him on the floor before Iwaizumi crawled back beside Hinata, who didn’t move a singular millimeter. His body craved sleep so badly. Ushijima didn’t say anything and neither did he. They eventually drifted off, Iwaizumi warm beside his love, and Ushijima accompanied by his shame and guilt.


	11. Thots Making History

Iwaizumi woke the next morning, feeling like he was having a heart attack. Someone pounded on the door, startling him up, then when he looked down, he saw a  _ brunet  _ in his bed. He yelped and pushed away from them and rolled out of the bed. He fell onto the floor and onto Ushijima, whom he entirely forgot about, earning him an elbow to the nose.

«Holy  _ fuck,»  _ he yelled, cradling his potentially broken and bleeding nose in his hand. “What is going on?!”

“What is happening?” Hinata asked groggily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

Iwaizumi looked back at him, remembering finally that the idiot  _ dyed his hair  _ at a party. His heart cooled somewhat, finally feeling back on earth. So, it  _ wasn’t  _ just some random person. His hair made him look like an entirely different person and he had to admit, he wasn’t a fan. Hinata saw the blood pouring down his hands and jumped into action.

He ran to the bathroom and retrieved a pack of tissues, “Why are you  _ bleeding?” _

“Ushijima elbowed me!”

“Why?”

Iwaizumi snatched the tissues from him, shoving one up each nostril, “Because I fell on him!”

Hinata narrowed his eyes at Iwaizumi, “Ushijima isn’t he—“

He looked down at his feet when he hit something on the floor. Ushijima laid with the blankets over his head, exposing his legs from the knees down.

“Why is Ushijima here?”

“Long story—“

Iwaizumi was cut off by the pounding on the door getting louder. He groaned loudly, throwing his hands out in frustration. Too much was happening for how early it was. He stormed to the door and pulled it open, not caring about his lack of clothing.

_ “What?”  _ He yelled.

“Oh,” Bokuto’s fist remained in the air, then he looked Iwaizumi up and down,  _ “Oh,  _ how are  _ you  _ doin’?”

Iwaizumi blinked dumbly at him before Bokuto shook his head and held his hand up to him dismissively, “No, there’s no time.”

The large owl man pushed by Iwaizumi and moved to Hinata’s suitcase, pulling out the first outfit he could find then shoving them into Hinata’s arms.

“Hurry up!”

Hinata looked down at the clothes then back up at him, “Why—“

“Hey, hey,  _ hey,  _ I said  _ hurry,  _ short fry!” Bokuto pointed at Iwaizumi. “You too! Get dressed!”

Iwaizumi and Hinata shared a look and dressed hurriedly, alarmed by Bokuto’s aggressive rush. The second they had clothes on their bodies, Bokuto grabbed them and pulled them from the room. Iwaizumi struggled to do his fly up while he was being dragged and Hinata didn’t get the chance to button up his shirt. Neither of them wore shoes, but at least they got socks. Bokuto pulled them all the way to the banquet hall, then to the buffet tables before shouting in anguish.

“Damn it, you idiots took too long! They had banana and chocolate chip pancakes!”

Iwaizumi tore his hand away from Bokuto’s grasp and glared at him,  _ “That’s  _ why you brought us here?”

“They were so good, I wanted you guys to try them!”

Iwaizumi took the tissues from his nose, threw them out aggressively, then closed his eyes, preparing himself for all the profanities that were about to leave his mouth. The second he opened his eyes and pointed a finger at Bokuto, his breath left his body. He pulled Hinata and Bokuto behind a plant, which hid the shorter men rather well, but Bokuto had to crouch, and he still stuck out like a sore thumb.

“What?” Hinata asked and Iwaizumi shushed him loudly.

“Look,” Iwaizumi whispered, pointing to where Oikawa ate with Ryan.

They spoke quietly, both looking rather confused, while they sipped on their coffees. Hinata’s jaw hit the floor and Bokuto stood up right again.

“What?”

“That—-  _ What?”  _ Hinata rubbed his eyes.

“I’ve been up for,” Iwaizumi checked his watch, having forgotten his phone in their room, “Fifteen minutes and I’m done living for today.”

He sighed and turned, running immediately into Miya Atsumu. He sighed  _ again  _ and looked up at him.

“What do you want?”

“Wow, hello to you, too,” Atsumu frowned at him. “Is that  _ Oikawa  _ talking to  _ Nyholm?” _

“Yeah, I think it is,” Iwaizumi nodded, before he started walking again. “Good chat. Later.”

“Wait, shouldn’t we  _ talk  _ about this?”

Iwaizumi already reached his limit for stupidity in the first thirty minutes of being awake and he had nothing left in him. He rolled his eyes, never breaking stride.

“I have nothing to talk to you about. I’m not on some Grand Council of The Volleyball Setters. Go away.”

Hinata frowned at Bokuto, who gave him a confused look. Atsumu ran his hand through his hair before humming disapprovingly.

Iwaizumi didn’t care. He needed to be alone for a bit, and there was nothing wrong with that. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and picked at his nails. Somewhere along the way, Goshiki noticed him again and ran to catch up.

“Good morning, Iwaizumi!”

“Hey.”

“You don’t look so good! Hung over?”

Iwaizumi glanced at him and couldn’t help but compare him to a lost puppy.

“No.”

“Oh,” Goshiki slowed his pace to match Iwaizumi’s. “That’s good!”

“Yep.”

“What’s wrong then?”

Iwaizumi sighed and stopped walking. He turned to face Goshiki fully and put a hand on his shoulder for added effect.

“Listen, this isn’t your fault, okay? You’re amazing, adorable, adjectives, okay?  _ Please,  _ leave me alone for three hours then try again.”

Goshiki frowned then opened his mouth as if to speak, before seemingly changing his mind and shutting it again. But then he changed his mind  _ back  _ and said the one thing Iwaizumi really didn’t want to hear.

“No?” Iwaizumi asked incredulously.

“Yeah, no,” Goshiki said.

Iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes as he started walking again, Goshiki readily keeping in stride with him. He tried to walk faster, but the guy kept up. He sighed again and reluctantly accepted his fate.

He allowed Goshiki into his hotel room, and noticed that Ushijima was gone. He folded his blankets up and placed them on the bed. There was a paper bag on top with a note taped to it. He took the note.

_ ‘Please, give this to Leilani.’ _

Iwaizumi peeked inside the bag and found her severed hair all put together in one large lock. He frowned at it, but felt better knowing that at least she could dispose of it in a way that’ll bring her some small comfort.

“I have to bring something to a friend,” Iwaizumi muttered as he put his shoes on then picked up the bag. He looked at Goshiki, “Are you coming?”

Goshiki beamed, “You bet!”

Iwaizumi went into the hall and knocked on Cole’s door, but no one answered.

“They’re probably at breakfast,” Goshiki said.

“Right,” Iwaizumi said, leading them back to where they just came. He looked around the room and found their entire team sitting together with Oikawa and Bokuto, laughing.

“Hey, have you guys seen Leilani?”

They looked up at him and Toby shook his head, “Not since we got up.”

Iwaizumi sighed and looked around the room again, when Oikawa spoke.

«Speak of the devil,» he raised his glass as he watched over Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

They turned and watched her walk over. She must’ve fixed her haircut herself, because it was all one length again, barely falling over her shoulders. She wore tight white  _ Adidas  _ pants and her navy blue jacket. Ryan whistled at her and Hinata fully jumped up from his seat.

_ “Wow!  _ Leilani! You cut your hair!”

Her hands subconsciously went to her head as Cole, Toby and Iwaizumi all shushed him harshly. Hinata looked around them all before frowning and sitting down.

“Yeah, you… dyed yours. That  _ is  _ Shōyō, right?”

He beamed at her, “You like it?”

“It sure is  _ something,  _ I’ll tell ya that for free!”

“Hey, gorgeous,” Iwaizumi greeted her awkwardly before holding the bag out to her. “I brought you something.”

She eyed the bag up before taking it and looking inside. Iwaizumi watched her face pass between anger, excitement, sadness then nothing. She hugged him tightly and whispered her thanks in his ear.

“Actually, Ushijima brought it.”

“Oh,” she frowned as she pulled away. “I still hate him.”

“What?” Hinata asked, looking between them. “What am I missing?”

“I’ll tell you later, okay?” Iwaizumi looked down at him.

Hinata stared at him strangely before nodding, “Okay!”

Iwaizumi looked around the group, “I’m going to go take a nap. Get Hinata to find me if you need me.”

He leaned down and kissed his fiance before walking away, Hinata holding onto his hand for as long as he could before their fingers slipped apart. To his complete exasperation, he noticed Goshiki following him still.

“Come on man, what do you want?”

“I’m getting weird vibes from you.”

“That’s  _ awesome,”  _ Iwaizumi felt the frustration again. “I’m literally going to  _ sleep,  _ are you really going to just come and watch me?”

Goshiki just stared at him until he huffed and pushed forward to his room. He threw himself down on the bed and Goshiki sat at the desk chair.

“You should tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

“You should go away,” Iwaizumi said, rolling the opposite way.

“Whenever we’d play you guys in high school I always thought about how cool you were.”

Iwaizumi stiffened at the words.

“I always knew you were short tempered, but this is something else entirely. Don’t meet your heroes, huh?”

Goshiki stood and stretched his arms over his head. Iwaizumi frowned at the wall as he listened to him walk to the door.

“I’m pretty sure your only friend before was Oikawa. But now it looks like you have lots of them. And you’re dating  _ Hinata Shōyō!  _ That’s so cool! Your friends are all so talented and amazing, just like you, and they seem to  _ want  _ to be there for you. Now, I’m here, too. And I’ve looked up to you for so long. You should really try opening up. You might like it.”

Iwaizumi finally turned to look at him, “You looked up to  _ me?” _

“Of course I did! Oikawa was one of the best setters in the entire prefecture, and now the  _ entire world!  _ And he trusted you completely. When his back was up against a wall, he threw to  _ you.  _ And more often than not, you made those tosses count. You were my hero! You were the coolest person ever, and I didn’t even want to compete with you! I just wanted to  _ be you.  _ But, man,” he looked at him. “If you’re hurting, just  _ talk  _ to someone. I’m definitely  _ not _ jealous of your attitude.”

Iwaizumi frowned, the words seeping into his skin as he watched the man shift awkwardly from foot to foot. 

“Do you… want to stay?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Goshiki smiled before throwing himself beside Iwaizumi. “I didn’t mean the  _ never meet your heroes  _ thing, by the way! I’m thrilled!”

“Right,” Iwaizumi said slowly. “So, now what?”

“You said you wanted to just relax, right? Let’s just listen to some music and you can tell me what exactly the bug that crawled up your butt is.”

“Gross,” Iwaizumi laughed awkwardly. “The music is all you.”

“I don’t have my phone on me, just put something on.”

“Oh, you sure? No one ever really likes my music…”

“All music is good music as long as it comes from the soul!” Goshiki formed a fist in front of him, feeling his passionate tone right to his core.

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile at him as he agreed. He took his phone out and shuffled his playlist in front of someone else for the first time since he lived with Oikawa.

_ It Feels Like We Only Go Backwards  _ by  _ Tame Impala  _ played. Goshiki jumped excitedly.

“I  _ love  _ this band!”

“Me, too,” Iwaizumi smiled as he turned to sit across from Goshiki on the bed.

“Okay, tell me all about your problems!” Goshiki placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s knees.

Iwaizumi shifted back a bit, uncomfortable with physical touch from people he wasn’t terribly close with. He bit his lip and thought about how much he should say. He decided just to complain about the most immediate of his issues— in one word: Charlotte.

Hinata sat in the banquet hall with most of his friends, laughing over their coffee. Oikawa watched where Goshiki followed Iwaizumi off and out of the room before humming.

«They looked pretty good together.» He gestured to the door.

«Why would you even say that?» Hinata frowned after he realized what he was referring to.

«Oh, relax, you guys look even better,» Oikawa rolled his eyes. «He has a knack for attracting enthusiastic little puppies, doesn’t he?»

Hinata frowned deeper, «Are you saying I should be worried?»

The thought of Iwaizumi meeting someone else and potentially leaving him or worse,  _ cheating  _ on him just never occurred to his little brain. He thought their bond of trust and security was unbreakable. But why would Goshiki follow him if he said he was going to take a nap? He looked in the direction of the door, picturing Iwaizumi ravaging the other man. His stomach turned painfully. He knew that his fiance had a rather physically affectionate relationship with Leilani, but she was a physically affectionate person and a  _ girl.  _ Iwaizumi didn’t like girls. Did he?

«Of course not!» Oikawa looked offended. «Iwa-chan would  _ never  _ do anything like that! I was just commenting.»

Hinata hummed, unimpressed, before looking back into his coffee. He didn’t like that.  _ Clearly,  _ Goshiki knew they were together. He just saw direct evidence before following him to  _ their  _ room where he intended to  _ sleep.  _ Hinata tapped his fingers on his mug, anxiety growing rampant in his body.

He pursed his lip, it wouldn’t hurt to just go check. He stood up, waving absentmindedly at the table before walking down to their room. His hand hovered just above the handle before he heard his name. He leaned in and silently pressed his ear to the door.

Music played quietly and the two talked inside, voices hushed. Hinata briefly criticized but thanked the hotel for their cheap as shit doors and walls.

“No, don’t get me wrong, I love Hinata so much. He’s the love of my life and it’ll always be that way. It’s just so different with someone new, because they take it all so differently. Thank you for talking me into this, I really needed it.”

“Of course! You looked so tense, I knew it was just what you needed!”

“Yeah, you were right. It was great and all but you didn’t need to be so  _ aggressive _ about it all.”

_ “I _ was aggressive? Hilarious! You wouldn’t have done it otherwise!” Goshiki laughed loudly. “How else was I supposed to convince you?”

“I guess you’re right, it’s just so hard when there’s only ever really been two people—“

Hinata bit his lip hard before moving away from the door. He shook his head aggressively. How could he have been so stupid? So naive? So trusting? That miserable asshole!

He sulked back to the banquet hall, trying to wrap his head around his new reality, but more than that, just  _ how  _ he’d confront Iwaizumi about what he heard. He sat back with his friends who immediately stopped laughing.

“What’s wrong?” Cole frowned.

“Uh,” Hinata looked at him. “I’m pretty sure… That he’s cheating on me.”

They all stopped what they were doing and Toby dropped his spoon in his cereal, splashing milk all over himself.

_ “What?”  _ Ryan asked, outraged.

“Yeah,” Hinata pointed behind himself. “I… Heard them talking.”

“Yeah?” Cole asked.

“He was thanking Goshiki for talking him into it and he said something like  _ ‘I knew you needed it, you were just so tense’.” _

They stared at him, wildly uncomfortable and not knowing what to say.

“But did you  _ see  _ anything?” Bokuto asked.

“No, but—“

“I wouldn’t assume anything until you see it,” Bokuto shrugged.

“Iwaizumi just isn’t the type,” Toby shouted.

“I don’t know,” Ryan said. “What  _ else  _ could that conversation be about? Especially when he excused himself to go for a  _ nap? _ Use your heads.”

“You’re the last person who should ever say that,” Cole put a hand up to him,  _ “Ever.” _

“I’m just saying conversations can be misleading,” Bokuto said. “Like, once I heard sex sounds coming from my apartment with Akaashi, and then I heard him moan in the most  _ delictible  _ voice only meant for me,  _ ‘I love you’, _ so I charged in the room all, ‘ _ HEY HEY HEY’  _ but he was just eating spaghetti. So.”

Everyone stared at him for a moment before Hinata popped his lips and turned back to the rest of them, “So, what should I do?”

“Maybe just talk to him,” Cole said. “That’s what I’d want.”

“Besides, Iwaizumi doesn’t seem like the forgiving type,” Ryan said.

“Why does  _ that  _ matter?” Hinata asked, feeling a million things at once, but mostly just  _ hot,  _ “I mean if  _ he’s  _ cheating.”

“Because if he  _ isn’t  _ cheating, and you make a whole huge thing out of it, I don’t think he’d be forgiving.”

“Oh.”

Hinata wrote off the idea of it being anything different than what he thought it was, but he supposed that made sense.

“Yeah, maybe go have a private conversation with him,” Cole said quietly.

Hinata sighed and nodded, once again waving absentmindedly at the table before making his way to their room. He hovered outside for a second before deciding to take a bit of a walk to cool off first.

When he got back, he sighed heavily, attempting his hardest to be  _ even.  _ He knocked on the door before unlocking it and moving inside. When he got in there, he wasn’t sure what he felt about what he saw.

Iwaizumi was asleep on the bed, fully clothed, sprawled on his stomach. Goshiki slept slumped over in the desk chair, also fully clothed. The music still played quietly in the background accompanied by their soft snores.

He moved over to the bed and laid beside Iwaizumi and rubbed his back. His fiance turned his head and peeked an eye open before closing it again and smiling softly.

“Hi, you.”

“Hi,” Hinata breathed, feeling madly  _ stupid. _

Iwaizumi kept his cheek planted firmly in the mattress as he puckered his lips. Hinata leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to them, guilt racking him. He pet his hair softly until Iwaizumi pulled him roughly down beside him. He cuddled into his side and let the warmth pull him under.

When he woke again, Goshiki was gone and Iwaizumi sat in the desk chair. Hinata leaned up on one arm and rubbed his eyes.

“Good morning,” Iwaizumi crossed his arms.

“Uh, hi?”

Hinata’s mind struggled to catch up with being awake. He could immediately sense the tension in the room, though, and it caught him off guard. Iwaizumi stood and sat across from him on the bed.

“So I’m cheating on you now?”

Hinata’s face flushed and the heated panic ran through his veins again, immediately re-exhausting him.

“Um,” he didn’t know how to respond. 

“Yeah, it was actually pretty funny because we woke up before you and we were gonna go get some lunch when  _ Ryan  _ saw us and asked if it was true.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So, you know it’s not true then?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why’d you tell them all that?”

Hinata looked at him. His tone was even and so was his expression, but he knew he was angry, even if just a little. He sighed and sat fully up before running his hands through his hair.

“I didn’t know what to do, so I asked for advice.”

Iwaizumi frowned at him, “I can’t believe you’d think I would do that to you.”

“I was being stupid.”

“I’d say.”

They sat in silence for a long moment before Iwaizumi laid back.

“I wouldn’t ever. I love you too much.”

“I know that. I’m sorry.”

_ “I’m  _ sorry, asshole.”

“What?” Hinata’s eyebrows raised.

“Obviously I haven’t made you feel secure enough in our relationship. It’s my fault.”

“What? No!” Hinata shouted, putting his hand on Iwaizumi’s thigh. “No, you didn’t do anything to make me think that way. It was just at breakfast after you guys left, Oikawa commented on how you guys look good together. Then, I thought it was weird how he accompanied you for your nap. I mean, come on, that’s weird. Then when I came to just see what was up I heard you guys talking. You said ‘Thanks for talking me into that. I love Hinata but it’s just so different with someone else, because they just  _ take it so differently’,  _ and out of context that’s pretty bad!”

Iwaizumi glanced up at him, “Yeah. That  _ is  _ pretty bad out of context.”

“Can you trust me when I say I trust you?”

“Of course.”

Hinata climbed on top of Iwaizumi and wrapped his arms under and around his shoulders, burying his face in his neck. Iwaizumi sighed and moved his hands from behind his head to hold his fiance close. He kissed him right in front of his ear then whispered.

“I miss your actual hair color.”

“I’ll grow back!”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Hinata pushed himself up a little, then kissed Iwaizumi, who welcomed the gesture warmly. He pulled Hinata closer by his belt loops then moved his hands to his ass before giving it a little slap.

“I thought you’d be angrier,” Hinata said with a smile.

“No, it makes sense, honestly. I wish you’d come to me  _ first _ but I understand why you did what you did.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For this,” Iwaizumi smirked before slapping his ass hard, causing him to jump up and yelp.

Hinata beamed at him before grabbing his hands and holding them over his head. Iwaizumi feigned horror before laughing in his face and easily spinning them over, straddling him and pinning his hands down. Hinata attempted to escape to no avail.

“You  _ need  _ to stop trying it,” Iwaizumi laughed. “Your ass will thank you.”

“No,” Hinata whined, squirming under him. “You’re not wrecking me right before the  _ Olympics.” _

“That’s fine,” Iwaizumi smirked before leaning to whisper in his ear. “Keep testing me and make me wait. It’ll work  _ so  _ much better for you in the end.  _ Promise.” _

Hinata shuddered at the hot breath in his ear before attempting to push up into Iwaizumi, who quickly avoided the friction by pushing up onto his knees.

“Oh, no,” Iwaizumi laughed evilly as he shook his head. “No. You’re waiting now.”

Hinata whined again before it turned into a groan as Iwaizumi made full contact, groping him through his jeans. He kept his hand there for a moment, playing with him until he was at full mast. Iwaizumi placed a wet kiss on his mouth before standing up and stretching. He clapped his hands together.

“Alright, go eat! You’re way behind on your calories and practice is in just over an hour!”

Hinata glared at him from the bed before straining his voice, “Sure thing. Just give me a minute.”

“No time to waste, babe! You’ve gotta start digesting before you get onto the court.”

“You’re actually evil,” Hinata groaned as he stood and tucked his erection into the waistband of his pants.

When Hinata walked by, Iwaizumi slapped his ass which earned him a heartfelt glare. He giggled at him before following closely behind. Before Hinaga got too far, Iwaizumi took his hand and pulled him back, his tone serious.

“You know how much I love you, right?”

Hinata nodded, steadily meeting his eye, “Of course.”

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Me, too,” Hinata smiled warmly before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Iwaizumi quickly turned and caught his lips on his own, “And  _ only  _ you.”

Hinata laughed, embarrassment creeping up his neck, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi scoffed, leading him forward by his hand. “The world doesn’t deserve  _ you.” _

They went back to the banquet hall where most people were eating dinner and sat heavily beside each other after they got their food.

“Spaghetti?” Bokuto asked when Hinata met his eye.

“Spaghetti,” Hinata sighed.

“Spaghetti!” Bokuto shouted, standing to high five him.

“Spaghetti?” Iwaizumi looked down at their plates. It definitely was  _ not  _ spaghetti. 

“Spaghetti,” Hinata and Bokuto nodded at him.

“Oh-kay?” Iwaizumi shook his head. “Spaghetti.”

They stared eating in silence when Leilani made her way over and sat heavily with no food at all. Cole raised an eyebrow at her while she avoided his gaze.

“So,” Cole said awkwardly. “I saw you talking to Ushijima.”

“I  _ knew  _ you’d bring that up!” She slapped the table then pointed at him. “He tried apologizing.”

“Tried?” Toby asked around a mouthful of food. 

“Yes, sir. Tried. Fuck him, though,” she huffed.

“Okay, is anyone  _ ever  _ going to tell me what happened?” Hinata asked.

“His psychotic, bitch, racist ass, disgust—“

“Leilani,” Iwaizumi said.

“Right. His  _ fiancée  _ cut my hair off when I was drugged.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped and he looked around the table, finding no one else was shocked. He frowned and looked down, not knowing what to say.

“For what it’s worth, he brought you your hair back. And he left her,” Iwaizumi pointed at her with his fork.

“Wow, good for him,” she rolled her eyes. “All it took was for her to violate the most sacred part of my body while I was  _ unconscious  _ and completely tear my people apart for him to do it. That’s just  _ great  _ for him.”

“What else can he really do, though?” Hinata asked, swallowing his food. “It’s not like he can go back in time.”

“Maybe he should try, then,” Leilani rolled her eyes again.

“I don’t know. Seems like you’re angry with the wrong person.”

She glared at Hinata while everyone else looked at him in shock. They all stared anywhere else but where the two stared each other down.

“You weren’t even there, how would  _ you  _ know? And since when do you side with Ushijima?”

“Okay,” Hinata put down his fork and turned to fully face her. “Why are you mad at him?”

“He didn’t do anything!”

“At all? He just faced the wall?”

“Well, no.”

“So, what did he do?”

“He didn’t say anything to her while she did it! And when he did do something it was hold  _ me  _ back as if  _ I  _ was the problem!”

“Hold you back? Why’d he have to do that? Were you trying to attack her?”

She crossed her arms and glared harder, “Maybe.”

“It was probably more for your sake than hers. She would’ve owned you at the end of that lawsuit.”

She blinked at him, glare faltering.

“And he probably didn’t say anything  _ while you were there.  _ I almost guarantee you that he was entirely honest about what he thought in privacy. He’s just like that. So annoying,” Hinata rolled his eyes. “If he left her I strongly doubt he just said,  _ ‘Hey, it’s been a pleasure but I don’t see a future for us’.  _ It was probably more like  _ ‘Your behaviour was despicable. Vile. You’re supposed to be a woman and—‘  _ you know, blah, blah, blah.  _ Also,  _ not to minimize what happened or anything, but we can’t forget he didn’t  _ choose  _ her. He was stuck with her. His entire family life, financial security, culture and so on was riding on that relationship working for him. He had to try, right?”

Hinata waved his hand around and stuck out his tongue, making expressions and using a tone as if he was talking about the weather and not probably the most devastating moment of Leilani’s life. She just stared blankly at him.

“If you’re going to be mad at someone, it should be the  _ right  _ person. Like us,” he gestured between himself and Iwaizumi. “We shouldn’t have left you. We should’ve known better. And we’re so,  _ so  _ sorry. I hope you can forgive us. But anger and hatred doesn’t look good on you. That isn’t your brand.”

He turned back and picked up his fork again, stabbing it into a broccoli, “I don’t know. I think you should forgive him, is all. He’s done everything he can. Maybe a bit late, but, what else is there to do now?”

They all sat in silence for a moment before Leilani reached forward and spilt his plate on his lap.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know about.”

Hinata watched her walk away, pants entirely soiled before looking back at the table. His friends stared in horror at him before he stood and laughed.

“I think he cracked,” Toby whispered to Cole.

Hinata started cleaning the best he could with what he had before smiling at them, “No. She knows I’m right. She’ll accept it when she’s ready.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Cole frowned.

“Trust me. She needed to hear it. I can live with her being mad at me for a little bit, but she’ll realize soon enough that I’m just looking out for her.”

“I think just being physically near Kageyama makes you act like him,” Iwaizumi grimaced at Hinata.

Hinata cackled loudly, “Old habits die hard, what can I say?”

They were interrupted by their manager, Tony. He walked over and leaned his hands on the table, looking between them.

“Okay, I found a bunch of you, anyways. Do me a favor and pass this on to the other guys, okay?”

They nodded slowly at Tony, remembering they were there for work.

“Okay, so practice soon. Very soon. You already know that, but after we’re doing a walk through of the opening ceremonies. That’s at eight, okay? Very important. Don’t be late.” He pointed directly at Hinata, making him blush. “Don’t forget to be posting on your official accounts and—“

Tony stared blankly at where Ryan sat beside Oikawa. His face went red as he looked between the setters and Iwaizumi, who were all deer caught in headlights.

“What happened to killing you if we saw that?” Tony all but shouted.

Ryan bit his lip and sipped his drink, “I’m not talking to him, am I?”

Tony went to retort before looking away, holding his clenched fist over his mouth. He turned back and in the most pathetic attempt at staying calm Iwaizumi had ever seen said, “You’re not even supposed to sit next to him, Nyholm.  _ You know that.” _

“He sat next to me!”

“You expect me to believe Oikawa sa—“

Tony was cut off by Oikawa waving at him. The manager looked at him and gestured to him with his chin, indicating he could speak.

“It’s fine,” Oikawa’s statement sounded more like a question when he doubted his english skills.

Tony glared back at Ryan before slowly moving in and jabbing him hard in the chest, probably hurting his own finger more than it hurt Ryan, “Behave. You are  _ so lucky  _ you're a freak of nature.”

Ryan threw his hands up, feigning surrender, “Yeah. I am pretty cool.”

Tony rolled his eyes and stood up, “Okay. We’ll talk more at practice. From now till then I want to see  _ every one  _ of you posting on your stories. Why you haven’t until now is a mystery to me.”

“Sir,” they called.

They watched him leave and waited until he was out of sight before all turning to Ryan and laughing at him. But for once, Ryan wasn’t fazed. He simply took it and sipped his drink, which was weird. Iwaizumi looked between Ryan and Oikawa, who were still yet to interact with each other at that meal, but still sat beside each other. Something wasn’t adding up.

Just as he was about to address Oikawa in Japanese, Goshiki interrupted him.

“Hey,  _ lover,”  _ he snickered as he wrapped his arms around him and Hinata.

Iwaizumi didn’t know which he wanted to do more— knock Goshiki out or just knock himself out. Both would solve some problems, but not all of them.

To his complete delight and peace of mind, Hinata laughed. It sounded embarrassed, but it was a laugh.

“See, that’s what I’m calling him from now on since apparently I’m sleeping with him!” Goshiki laughed loudly.

“Oh, my  _ god,”  _ Iwaizumi groaned.

“Yeah, we got that,” Cole frowned.

“The fact that anyone thinks I could capture a  _ gem  _ like this is a compliment enough to make up for the fact that they’d think I would  _ ever  _ be a side-hoe!”

Hinata blushed harder as he shrunk under Goshiki’s touch.

Goshiki cackled between them, and they both shrunk away and tried hiding their faces from everyone else as they snickered at them.

“You don’t have to be insecure, though!” Goshiki got closer to Hinata, his voice seeming much louder than it probably actually was due to his embarrassment killing his soul slowly. “You’re  _ Hinata Shōyō,  _ like, that’s your  _ name!  _ You say that name around any volleyball player and they either shake in their boots or swoon!”

Iwaizumi finally looked over at Hinata, who looked at Goshiki with  _ that  _ look in his eye. That look that dripped with confidence and competition. That look that made Iwaizumi fall in love with him in the first place.

“Right!” Hinata jumped up, slamming his hands on the table.

“Wait, where are you going?” Iwaizumi shouted after him.

“We have a practice to go to!”

“But you barely ate!”

“I’ll have a few protein bars!”

Iwaizumi watched him run backwards out of the room, waving at them with both arms, an enormous grin adorning his beautiful face. His heart ached, knowing they’d be unofficial married in under a month.  _ That man  _ would be marrying  _ him.  _ What’d he do to deserve that?

They all startled as Ryan slammed his glass on the table. Iwaizumi looked at him with wide eyes, then smiled knowingly at the look in  _ those  _ eyes.

“He won’t beat me,” Ryan said as he stood, chasing after Hinata.

“Hey, wait up!” Toby laughed, following Ryan, who most certainly did not wait. He didn’t even slow down.

Iwaizumi caught Cole’s eye and they shared a small, slightly annoyed, slightly fond smile. They both took one last bite of their food and sip of their drinks before standing and following after their teammates.

«Some people never change, huh?» Oikawa called after Iwaizumi with a laugh.

Iwaizumi turned, never slowing his pace, as he laughed back, «Some people  _ shouldn’t  _ ever change!»

They all changed and met in their practice gym, where Hinata and Ryan were already running around, jumping and yelling. Iwaizumi forced the other guys to warm up and stretch as they showed up, unwilling to let them get injured the day before the Olympics began.

The coach showed up, absolutely floored that the entire team was already there, warmed up and working on their drills. Once he picked his jaw up off the floor, he slapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder and praised him. Iwaizumi humbly let him know it certainly wasn’t his own doing.

“Cole is better than I thought,” Iwaizumi mused as he watched him dive lower and faster than he’d ever seen before.

“You haven’t seen him in a game yet, have you? You joined us after the qualifying games. You’re in for a real treat.”

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked, shocked. “You mean he gets better than this?”

“Oh, by huge amounts. He doesn’t try too hard in practice, which really pisses me off, but when there’s  _ real  _ opponents across from him… It’s like magic. There’s almost no ball that he can’t stop.”

He watched Cole with a new eye as he dove for a Ryan-serve and narrowly missed it. He hummed lowly.

“I’m not sure,” Iwaizumi said.

“Trust me. You won’t believe the amount of talent on this team. Especially now that we can finally have  _ those  _ two play together in an official game,” the coach said, eyeing up Ryan and Hinata. “We only played Hinata for as many games as it took to get him to qualify. We couldn’t have him and Ryan play together if we wanted to keep that freaky quick attack and their general court chemistry hidden under our belts.”

“So, how many official games has Hinata actually played in?”

The coach glanced at him, “Two.”

_ “Two?” _

Iwaizumi knew Hinata’s ass was chapped about how his professional career was starting and he knew it was because he hardly actually got to play, but…  _ Two  _ games for a starter? That was a bit hard to believe.

He watched Ryan get another service ace in on Cole before the brunet taunted him.

“Maybe we should switch you out with Elijah! He’d at least  _ try  _ to handle one of my serves!”

Cole scowled at him as he stood and got back into position, “Try again, asshole. He’s on  _ your  _ team.”

“He could play both and  _ still  _ do a better job than you’re doing right now!”

“You wanna bet?” Cole’s scowl reached a new low that Iwaizumi couldn’t have even imagined before.

Ryan smirked at him as he bounced the ball. Iwaizumi vaguely noticed Leilani show up beside him. Their stand in referee blew the whistle and Ryan threw the ball up. He ran to meet it and Cole’s eyes widened as he noticed Ryan’s fingers were as stiff as a board.

Iwaizumi practically heard him as he thought,  _ ‘a jump float?’ _

He watched Cole stare at the ball, lowering further. He watched the ball move, and it started to drop way ahead of him. He stepped forward, then again, keeping a close eye on where it was going. At the very last second, it veered violently to the right and Cole threw himself down, his hand  _ barely  _ making it between the ball and the floor. He scooped it up and got it back to the front so their setter could toss it. He tossed the ball over to Noah who jumped and spiked the ball hard enough through Rob’s hands that it could land harshly on the other side. Ryan met Cole at the net where they swore at and threatened each other.

“Shut  _ up,”  _ the coach yelled. “You’re on the same damn team!”

“Hear that, Nyholm? We’re on the same team, so maybe you could  _ act  _ like it!”

Ryan scoffed at him, “I’ll act like it when you act like you’re on the team at all! Put some effort in!”

“You tell me that there’s ever one second in an official game that I  _ don’t  _ have your back and I’ll change!”

Ryan and Cole stared each other down, breathing heavily before Ryan scoffed again with a large smile.

“You’ve got me there, Horowitz.”

“Damn right I do,” Cole frowned before yelling to the rest of the team. “I  _ always  _ have your backs. Do what you do best, and so will I. We  _ will  _ win the gold! All of us together!”

The team shouted back their concurrence.

Hinata beamed at him, chills running down his spine as he recalled Nishinoya. Liberos were the  _ coolest! _ He was practically vibrating as he waited for the other side to serve. 

Leilani laughed lightly and Iwaizumi turned to look at her.

“I’ve never actually seen them play,” she said. “Not in person. It’s like they turn into completely different people.”

Iwaizumi recalled how he felt on the court and smiled at the warm emotions that spread through him.

“Yeah. It’s like a different world out there.”

“I miss it,” Leilani sighed nostalgically.

“You’re telling me,” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“You’re living it right now,” the coach said, a smug smile on his face as he watched his team with crossed arms. Iwaizumi and Leilani stared at him curiously until he elaborated. “History in the making. These boys are going to change everything.”

The trainers looked at each other before smiling out to the court. They watched them run and jump and hit and block. Chills ran down their spines at every squeak between their sneakers and the floor.

“Yeah,” Leilani breathed.

“History,” Iwaizumi beamed.


	12. Interlude

The heart of the starting lineup


	13. Ryan’s Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING:  
> Racism  
> Talk of Residential Schools

When they returned back to the hotel after their team’s briefing after the opening ceremonies— beautiful, classic, Iwaizumi’s heart  _ ceased to exist  _ when his beautiful, amazing, perfect fiance walked along with the rest of their country in the parade of athletes— yet another party was in full swing. He was, understandably, weary of that. His hand subconsciously moved to Leilani’s back as they pushed through the people. He had flashbacks to the first night as the music cut out and Bokuto’s voice yelled over the chatter once again.

“Hey, hey, hey! This is for you, you American Idiots!”

He fully expected  _ American Idiot  _ by  _ Green Day  _ to play, based on the  _ everything  _ about Bokuto’s opening, but his mind reeled as he  _ actually  _ played  _ California Love  _ by  _ 2pac.  _ He pursed his lips and pretended to smile as Hinata danced around them, a new level of high on life, and sang loudly to the words. 

_ ‘California... knows how to party _

_ California... knows how to party _

_ In the citaaay of L.A. _

_ In the citaaay of good ol' Watts _

_ In the citaaay, the city of Compton _

_ We keep it rockin! We keep it rockin!’ _

He danced circles around them the entire way to their room, where they didn’t wait for the song to end before entering. Iwaizumi laughed as he considered the irony of the words, as ‘California’ disappointed their expectations. They didn’t intend to party at all. His hand only fell off of Leilani after the door was shut securely behind them.

“They never get enough, do they?” She sighed as she sat in the middle of the top of the bed.

Hinata and Iwaizumi sat on either side of her, Iwaizumi wrapping his arm around her shoulders and Hinata laying across her lap. She ran her hand through Hinata’s hair as he looked up at her.

“Apparently not,” Iwaizumi said.

“What do you guys wanna do?” She asked.

“Watch a movie?” Hinata suggested, earning a strange look from Iwaizumi. He raised his eyebrows right back, “What?”

“We both know you don’t have the attention span for a movie.”

“Firstly, rude. Secondly, if it’s  _ good  _ I can definitely pay attention.”

“Okay, what counts as  _ good?”  _ Iwaizumi asked, a playful smirk on his face. 

“Oh!” Leilani perked up, “Let’s watch  _ Moana!” _

“Really?” Hinata scrunched his face up.

“Yeah! It’s mostly pretty accurate!”

Hinata eyed up her short hair and remembered how thin of ice their friendship was on at the moment, despite how normal she was acting, “Sure.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Iwaizumi agreed.

She jumped up, fully disturbing everyone on the bed before grabbing the remote and setting it all up on the shockingly decent hotel television. Iwaizumi and Hinata shared a look, both  _ definitely  _ not wanting to watch a  _ Disney  _ movie. They shrugged, knowing she’d been through a lot due to their negligence and they wanted to do  _ everything  _ to make it up to her.

She moved back and reclaimed her spot, just laying down. She turned and leaned into Iwaizumi’s ribs, excluding Hinata from her touch on the downlow. He didn’t mind so much, already accepting it was likely to happen. He excused himself so he could go grab some snacks, very hungry after a  _ long, long  _ day of practice and social activities.

He weaved his way through the people and held a handful of bills at the vending machine, dispensing a multitude of snacks. He jumped up and ran into the machine when someone touched his back.

“Sorry!”

He turned and glared at Goshiki who laughed full heartedly at him. Once he was over his shock he realized the situation  _ was  _ kind of funny and offered a soft laugh of his own.

“Hungry?” Goshiki leaned in and looked at his makeshift shirt-bag full of snacks.

“You don’t even know,” Hinata said dramatically.

“Hm,” Goshiki eyed him up before laughing and joining him in spending whatever yen he happened to have at the vending machine, pulling his own shirt up to help carry them much like Hinata had. Hinata silently accepted that Goshiki would be joining them in their movie experience, and honestly just hoped he’d help draw attention away from the actual  _ movie  _ of it all. He definitely wouldn’t be able to fully pay attention to the whole thing without distractions.

They jabbed jokes at each other on the way back to the room, both thankful the awkward air was cleared between them. Hinata struggled to get the door open and allowed Goshiki in with him. They dumped the snacks onto the foot of the bed before both grabbing a couple and sitting on the floor in front of the bed.

“Hey, uh, what’d you find?”

“Mostly stuff that’s really bad for me, but don’t tell my trainers, okay?” Hinata held up his small bag of popcorn.

Iwaizumi snorted, “I was more referring to Goshiki, but alright. Awesome. I pity your poor trainers. No respect.”

“I know, I’m such a handful,” Hinata snickered as Goshiki elbowed him.

“What  _ is  _ this?” Goshiki gestured to the screen.

_ “Moana!”  _ Leilani said happily as she laid on her stomach and propped herself up on her arms by the foot of the bed, pushing all the snacks down onto Goshiki and Hinata who honestly didn’t mind. “So far basically she’s just going through the village, which is really cool because they got a lot of the cultural details right.”

Goshiki looked between her and the screen as she listed off the neat details they’d missed before asking, “Are you Polynesian?”

“Yeah,” she smiled down at him, leaning on her arm to get a better look into his eyes.

Hinata saw that flash in his eyes he’d grown used to seeing in the eyes of men who witnessed her smile.

“That’s pretty cool,” Goshiki’s face hardened as he looked back at the screen intently.

_ ‘Oh, boy,’  _ Hinata thought. Goshiki was in for nothing good. That was way too easy. He wondered if she  _ knew  _ what she did to people.

They watched on in silence for a while, Leilani’s hands finding their way back to Hinata’s hair and Iwaizumi also took to laying at the foot of the bed, his head resting on his folded arms. Hinata was squirming on the inside. He wanted to  _ move.  _

“Maui’s character isn’t completely accurate,” Leilani said, breaking the silence.

Goshiki hummed, “Yeah. He wasn’t actually abandoned, right?” Hinata noticed her shocked expression from the corner of his eye. “His parents thought he was stillborn so they gave him to the sea, where those spirits took care of him and eventually returned him to his family.”

“Yeah,” she said slowly, hands leaving Hinata’s hair. “Also, his hook—“

“Wait,” Goshiki smiled apologetically for interrupting. “I wanna see if I remember. I’m pretty sure he was a bad fisherman, right? So he had this magic hook, I don’t remember why, but when he cast it out he caught something  _ big.  _ They spent days trying to reel it in and when one of his brothers looked back he noticed they’d actually been pulling entire landmasses from the sea. Then, again I don’t remember why, but his hook ricocheted into space and exploded and that’s where the constellation came from.”

Leilani pushed herself into a half sitting, half laying position as she stared down at him, “I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but how do you know that? Or maybe I’m really asking why?”

Goshiki bit at his nails as he watched the screen before shrugging, “Other mythologies and cultures are cool. We didn’t have television in my house growing up, so… books.”

She hummed as she looked down at him. Hinata tried his best not to actually  _ look  _ at either of them, but he was dying on the inside. He’d  _ pay  _ them to make out if it meant something new happened. He was  _ so  _ bored. It wasn’t that the music was bad, it was just so  _ sappy.  _ The only real saving grace was how happy Leilani was and how Goshiki would dance through every song. It seemed subconscious and it was kind of adorable. The best part was when he turned back to say something to Iwaizumi and he was  _ asleep.  _ Who really had an attention issue?

Leilani and Goshiki discussed more of the lore and cultural aspects of the movie, comparing it with other mythologies along the way. Hinata tuned in near the end when Moana actually approached the lava monster.

“Then, that’s based off of Pele, right?” Goshiki looked up at her.

She nodded, “Yeah, that’s also where the idea of if you take stones, sand or especially volcanic rocks from the islands, you’ll be very cursed, came from.”

“Isn’t the whole idea of the nice earth goddess and the volcano monster just the two sides of Pele? She’s said to be the creator of the islands, right?”

“More or less,” Leilani smiled at him. “I’m sorry, it’s just so weird that someone actually  _ knows  _ about this.”

“I don’t know,” Goshiki bit at his nails again. “Not really. Not any more than other mythologies. Greek and Roman are where my  _ real  _ interest is.”

“You know more than anyone I’ve met before.”

“That’s kind of sad,” he said.

“Tell me about it.”

They finished the movie and the credits rolled across the screen. Hinata silently thanked whatever deity was out there. He checked the clock and saw it was pretty late. They had to be up early the next day as it was the beginning of their game days.

“Alright, that was fun!” Hinata smiled at them.

“You don’t need to lie, Shōyō,” Leilani said flatly.

“Iwaizumi was right about me,” he frowned.

“Iwaizumi is right about most things.”

“Right,” Hinata stood. “Do you want me to walk you to your room?”

“That’s alright. We haven’t heard anything from the halls in a while,” she shrugged as she got up off the bed.

“Are you afraid of being on your own or something?” Goshiki looked up at her as he stretched his arms out and yawned.

“I just… Don’t really trust the people around here,” she said slowly.

“Oh,” Goshiki frowned. “Want me to walk you on the way to my room?”

“If it’s on the way,” she said, pushing her hair behind her ear, finding it fell in front of her face far more often since it was cut.

He nodded and waved at Hinata as he yawned again. He opened the door for her, rubbing his face with his sleeve as she walked by.

“God, I’m  _ exhausted—“ _

He was cut off by the door closing. Hinata went and brushed his teeth before stripping and pushing Iwaizumi back to the head of the bed with minimal help from the guy. He laughed the entire way, finding it was much easier to move him since he became stronger than him. In high school Hinata only weight about 115lbs, but after all his growth— three entire inches— and muscle he built, he weighed a good 155lbs as opposed to Iwaizumi’s 145lbs, since he lost some of his muscle mass being less active as just the trainer and not the athlete. He turned out the light and crawled in beside his fiance, wrapping them both up in the blankets before kissing his face all over. Iwaizumi swatted at him in his sleep and rolled onto his stomach, slinging his arm across Hianta’s face. Hinata laughed and moved his arm up beside him before pressing himself as close as possible in their awkward positioning and willing himself to sleep.

They woke very early the next morning. Hinata sprang up, so,  _ so  _ excited about the day's events. He rushed through his morning activities and bounced by the door, waiting for Iwaizumi to catch up.

“Come  _ on,  _ Hajime! It’s like you’re not even excited at all!”

“I’m  _ very  _ excited,” Iwaizumi poked his nose as he passed by, “But rushing through everything won’t make the time go by faster. Quite the contrary, actually.”

“Always the realist,” Hinata muttered, growing more restless the longer that Iwaizumi took to get ready. The more Iwaizumi seemed to be aware of that fact it seemed he moved slower and slower. Hinata was practically jogging on the spot by the time Iwaizumi stood in front of him and announced he was ready.

_ “Finally!”  _ Hinata shouted before smiling sheepishly, “You look amazing, baby!”

“Thanks,” Iwaizumi muttered as Hinata had already taken off out the door and down the hall.

He followed him to the banquet hall where he took Hinata’s plate from him and chose the best options to start his day off right. He then chose the same foods so he didn’t have to listen to Hinata complain, it was just too early. That being said, he wasn’t so sure that Hinata was capable of complaining at that moment. He was ecstatic. He smiled at him as they sat down and the rest of the team slowly rolled in, still waking up. Soon the room was bustling and buzzing with conversation in all types of dialects.

«Iwa-chan!» Oikawa sat beside him with his breakfast.

«Hey, Shittykawa, what’s up?»

«Nothin’,» he smiled down at his food.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at him. Why was  _ he  _ so happy? For a normal person, the first game day at the Olympics would definitely be enough to call themselves happy, but it was  _ Oikawa.  _ Something was up.

Ryan sat across from Iwaizumi and beside Cole and he started to quietly eat his breakfast. Cole stared between him and his eggs. He watched him sip his coffee.

“Hey,” Cole said suspiciously.

“Hey, Cole!” Ryan said before sipping his coffee.

The American setter looked up and barely met Iwaizumi’s eye before returning to his breakfast. Iwaizumi pursed his lips and tapped his fork against his plate before looking at Oikawa.

«Did you sleep with Ryan?»

Oikawa and Hinata each choked on whatever food they were currently working on. Oikawa recovered much quicker than Hinata who still sputtered and slapped himself on the chest. Iwaizumi paid no mind, letting Toby tend to him. He had a  _ much  _ bigger issue to deal with.

«Iwa-chan,» Oikawa placed his hand on his chest. «I’m wounded.»

«Oikawa,» his tone was stern.

They stared at each other before Oikawa cracked and grimaced, looking away.

«Fine! We might’ve… fooled around. We haven’t  _ slept  _ together, though. Come on, it’s the  _ Olympics.» _

Iwaizumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before slapping Oikawa hard upside the head, «Bad!»

Oikawa rubbed his head where Iwaizumi slapped him while Iwaizumi leaned across the table and flicked Ryan hard in the middle of his forehead.

“You’re so, so lucky we need you, or I’d kill you right here,” Iwaizumi snapped, shocking the rest of the team.

Ryan rubbed his forehead, “Whatever, man.”

“That’s it?” Cole asked, visibly afraid. “Who  _ are  _ you?”

“Someday all your dreams will come true, too, Coley,” Ryan leaned on his hand and smiled dreamily into his eggs, pushing them around with his fork. “You’ll understand.”

“I’m clearly missing something,” Cole said, pushing his plate away. “But I don’t want to know.”

Iwaizumi pointed at him threateningly, “Eat.”

Cole scowled at his own eggs before reluctantly pulling the plate back towards himself, “But my stomach is upset on account of the Ryan.”

“Shut up, I don’t care. Eat.”

The libero, the nearly  _ six foot, six inch tall man _ , frowned at his eggs before stabbing his fork into them, using his entire fist to hold his fork, and putting a bite of them into his mouth.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and turned his attention back on Ryan, “This better not affect your game.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll still destroy him. With great pleasure, too!”

Iwaizumi winced and waved his hand around,  _ “Don’t  _ say it like that.”

It took Ryan a second, but when he got it, he laughed hard, “Yeah, well, that too.”

Iwaizumi sighed and sat heavily back into his seat. Jackson pat him on the back sympathetically and Iwaizumi looked up at him, eager to find some kind of sanity in the stupidity that was the heart of their starting lineup.

“It’s okay, Hajime!”

“Thank you, I—“

He leaned in closely and saw the bruises all along his neck and collarbone before slamming his hands into his face.

_ “Why?” _

Jackson looked down before laughing nervously and pulling his collar up, “Oops, I forgot to cover them. Excuse me—“

“Sit!” Iwaizumi yelled. “Eat first.  _ Then  _ go. Everyone else… just don’t have a problem. Okay?”

Hinata groaned and slammed his forehead into the table. Iwaizumi looked at him as he gripped his stomach.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, running his hand over his back.

«I’m gonna be sick,» Hinata said, standing and running from the room.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily for probably the millionth time since he got to breakfast. He checked the clock. Six fifteen. Practice was soon. He stayed and ate, ignoring Oikawa and Ryan’s glances, and ordered the  _ toddlers  _ he was somehow saddled with managing to eat their  _ fucking eggs.  _

“I don’t remember conceiving, birthing and raising twelve children!” Iwaizumi shouted at them. “Shut up, eat your food and move on! I am  _ not  _ your mother!”

They all stared up to him before looking at their own plates and actually making solid progress on their food.

Oikawa laughed at him, earning him a nice, classic Iwaizumi style glare. Oikawa slapped his ass as he stood and bid them all goodbye before joining his own team. Leilani materialized beside Iwaizumi and he nearly kissed her feet. Finally, another voice of reason.

“Hey, Iwa,” she said, unwrapping a muffin before picking at it. Her smile fell as she met his eye, “What’s wrong?”

He gestured vaguely to the table and she nodded knowingly, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Making waves with Brazil, huh?” The coach asked, joining them, gesturing discreetly to their table.

Leilani and Iwaizumi looked over and watched the entire team avert their gazes, save for Goshiki who met Leilani’s eye and waved at her. She waved back with a smile.

The coach looked between them, “Okay, yeah. Don’t get too close, they’re still the enemy, remember! I’ll see you kids at practice.”

The coach was about to walk away before he leaned in and pulled Jackson’s collar down and tsking him, “Cover those up.”

“Yes, sir,” Jackson blushed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“A bunch of little sluts,” the coach muttered as he walked away. “Don’t work with twenty-somethings.”

They nodded after him before Iwaizumi turned to Leilani.

“Sorry about falling asleep during  _ Moana _ last night.”

“It’s okay,” she smiled genuinely. “It’s been a long few nights.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi agreed. A long few months, actually. “What happened after I fell asleep?”

“We just finished the movie,” she shrugged.

“Did Shōyō bring you back to your room?”

“No, actually,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Tsutomu did.”

“Goshiki?”

“Yeah, he was already going back to his own room, so he just walked me on the way.”

“Are you still mad at Shōyō?”

She frowned, “I—  _ No.  _ It’s just that I’m so mad at Wakatoshi that anyone who gets too close to that runs the risk of facing my wrath. I know he was looking out for me and I know that it’s wrong, but it’s how I feel.”

“You can’t change how you feel,” Iwaizumi said knowingly.

“No, I can’t. Thank you, Iwa,” her voice was soft.

“I’m always here for you. We’re ohana.”

“Yeah,” she took his hand, smiling at her muffin, “Yeah, we are.”

Ryan gasped, drawing their attention to him, “Guys, were  _ playing  _ today!”

“Yeah?” Cole glared at him. “Where’ve  _ you  _ been?”

Ryan stood, his plate was empty so warranted no yelling from Iwaizumi, then slammed his hand down on the table, “When we go home, we’re going to be  _ Olympic gold medalists!” _

“Yep, that’s the whole idea,” Cole rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee.

“Okay, Coley,” Ryan smiled evilly at him. “While  _ you  _ sit here, soulless and dead inside,  _ I’m  _ going to go practice.”

Cole glared after him as he started walking away before slamming his coffee cup down and balling up some napkins. He cocked his arm and threw his napkin ball at the back of Ryan’s head. In the setter's moment of hesitation where he looked back, Cole sprang into action and darted towards the door.

“I’ll get there before you!”

Ryan smiled after him, not actually happy at all, but pure competition, before sprinting after him. The rest of the team slammed their food down before chasing after.

“Take it easy! You still need to—“

Iwaizumi dropped his hand from his mouth when he understood they weren’t listening. He stood with Leilani for a moment before shrugging and joining the rest of the team.

Practice went well, and the coach called them all over to him at the end. He stood in front of a white board and pulled the lid of his marker.

“We’ve talked about this a bunch, but it needs to be said again. Today we are playing Iran. They’re a great team, okay, guys? Don’t underestimate them. Do  _ not  _ forget that  _ today  _ you are playing  _ Iran.  _ If I hear the names Italy, Brazil, Japan  _ or  _ Kageyama, Atsumu, or Oikawa, I  _ will  _ bench you. You need to keep your priorities straight. If you forget about the very real threat Iran poses, all your fantasies about beating these other teams will not matter. Understood?”

“Sir!”

“Good.” He wrote and drew on the board before turning back and gesturing to the things he just created. “The way the matchups worked out, we aren’t going to have to play either Italy or Japan at all, depending on who wins. That being said, the team in our pool to look out for is  _ Canada.  _ That’s right. Our friendly neighbors to the north.”

He stared the team down, “They  _ dominated  _ the last world series. Their new setter Sacha Kotov is incredible. But it isn’t just him. Their entire team seemed to level up, reaching a new level we’ve never seen from them. Keep one eye open.”

They stared up at him, except for Ryan, who leaned back on his hands and stared hard at the floor. The coach moved to him and nudged him with his foot.

“I know you played your first professional year with them. You’re worried that they know all your tricks.”

Ryan looked up and him and gulped, nodding once.

“Don’t worry, kid. You’ve somehow gotten even better since then. Besides… They don’t know about this,” the coach pointed to Hinata.

Iwaizumi felt some kind of massive energy as they met each other’s eye. It was something he only experienced when Hinata and Kageyama would get  _ really  _ excited about a match, but even  _ that  _ was to a lesser degree.

Hinata stretched his hand out and they bumped fists, “We’ll surprise them way more than they’ll surprise us.”

Ryan finally smiled again, “Yeah. We will.”

“To do that,” the coach looked glum. “We’re going to have to carry the team to the semifinals  _ without  _ playing Hinata.”

Hinata frowned and sighed, “Really?”

He nodded, folding his arms, “Davis will be filling your place like usual. We’ll only put you in if we’re in trouble, but your teammates are talented, too. Then, when we go to the semifinals, you’re bringing us that gold.”

The idea of himself being the emerging hero in the final hour seemed to do  _ something  _ for Hinata because he reluctantly nodded.

“Make it to the end!” Hinata shouted, smiling at his teammates.

“Right!” They shouted back.

“Good!” The coach smiled at them. “Go get a light lunch before our game. I can’t wait to watch you boys out there, you’ve made us all so proud. I think we should hear some words from the captain before we go.”

They looked at Ryan who nodded once then stood to face the rest of them.

“We’re here,” he looked at the floor. “We’re in  _ Tokyo  _ representing the  _ entire  _ United States of America. Do you realize what that means?”

He finally looked up and Iwaizumi recoiled at the heat of the intensity in his eyes.

“We are the best in our entire country. Twelve of us out of three hundred and twenty eight  _ million  _ people. And you!” He pointed to Hinata. “They  _ asked  _ you to come. That’s insane. We’re here for a reason, you know? And I trust you. All of you.”

Iwaizumi suddenly had flashbacks to high school when Oikawa would tell them that every single game,  _ ‘I trust you.’ _

“I know exactly what you’re all capable of and I expect nothing less, just like how you should expect the world of me. We have each other’s backs— we’re a team!”

He gestured for them to all huddle up and the manager, coaches and trainers watched them all pile their hands in the centre of their circle.

“What team?”

_ “Wildcats! Get your head in the game!” _

They all cheered and whooped, breaking apart to go for lunch. Leilani turned and cocked her head at Iwaizumi.

“We don’t have a mascot.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi laughed. “It’s apparently from the  _ High School Musical.  _ Ryan’s a fan.”

“Oh,” she laughed, cluing in. “Everyone’s a fan.”

Iwaizumi wasn’t, but he didn’t say so. He just followed everyone else back to the banquet hall to monitor what the team ate.

After their food was mostly gone, Leilani stood, excusing herself so she could have a proper moment to emotionally prepare for their first match against Iran. Before she even left the table, Goshiki ran up, waving his hand.

“Leilani!”

“Oh, hey, what’s up?”

He stopped in front of her, barely stopping his momentum in time. He held up a small item to her. She took it and looked at it curiously.

“We talked a lot about your culture last night, but this is mine. That’s called an  _ omamori.  _ It’s considered good luck. So, good luck! You and your team! You’ll need it!”

She laughed as she clutched it tightly, “I’ll be sure to let them know.”

He bowed to her, a gesture which she returned in stride, and they both walked away. Iwaizumi hummed at the sight when Hinata slapped his thigh.

“What’s up, baby?”

He watched as Hinata discreetly pointed to Ushijima with his chin who stared on at the interaction with a stoney expression. Iwaizumi wanted to both laugh and cry, thinking about how it was exactly what he deserved. He deserved to watch his underclass man rise up and steal both his title as ace and ‘his’ woman. Maybe next time he’d act sooner.

He respected Hinata’s views on the situation but he simply didn’t agree. That being said… Ushijima did promise to give her one more chance to make a good impression and when she didn’t just flub it, but absolutely shit on it, he walked away. That didn’t change what happened to Leilani, though. He wouldn’t forgive until she did. Call him blindly loyal, he didn’t care.

“Whatever,” he said.

“You’re telling me you don’t feel even a  _ little  _ bad?”

“Not really. He did it to himself.”

“He really didn’t, though,” Hinata frowned at him.

“He should’ve said something in the moment. Sometimes your actions— or lack of actions— have consequences.”

Hinata picked at his food, “She won’t go for that guy, anyways.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi leaned down to force Hinata to meet his eyes. He was missing those eyes.

“He’s too short,” Hinata smiled, humor creeping into the warm amber.

Iwaizumi breathed out a laugh, a little too lost for breath to really be amused. He’d gotten so  _ used  _ to being around Hinata again that maybe he wasn’t appreciating him as much as he should’ve been. He needed to start living every day like it was the day before Hinata had to leave for the United States. Like every chance was the last one. He glanced back at Ushijima— the poor fool— and defied himself to  _ ever  _ be in his position.

“Hello? Iwa? Hajime?  _ Hajime!”  _

He blinked at Hinata, who waved in his face. When their eyes locked onto each other, Hinata smiled, but there was concern in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Iwaizumi frowned at Hinata, then frowned deeper. He reached out and pulled his fiance into a hug. His perfect, forgiving, understanding, empathetic, pure fiance. His beautiful, adored, world renowned,  _ Olympic athlete _ of a fiance.

Hinata hugged him back, but Iwaizumi could practically smell the confusion rising off of his skin. Coconut and sunscreen, always.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Iwa.”

“I love you  _ so  _ much.”

“I love you  _ so  _ much, too,” Hinata laughed.

Iwaizumi pulled out of the hug before pressing a warm kiss to his mouth and looking down at his empty plate.

“Go get ready for your first match,” Iwaizumi smiled.

Hinata’s smile faltered just a bit, “I’m not even playing.”

“You never know what’ll happen,” Iwaizumi said, picking up his coffee. “Go prepare yourself. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I’ll see you soon.”

Hinata stood and stretched, exposing a  _ small  _ area of his skin in his abdomen, which set Iwaizumi on fire. He averted his eyes, lest any unsuspecting bystanders witnessed the unadulterated lust in his eyes.

“I love that we’re comfortable doing our own things,” Hinata kissed him on the top of the head before walking away.

He watched him until he was out of the room, and when he looked back he was confronted by Ryan’s intense glare.

“What?”

“Will you know who hate me if I beat him really badly in our game?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow as he thought about who he was talking about, “Oik—“

Ryan shushed him harshly and looked around, “Don’t say that word. Coach will hear and kill me since he can’t bench me.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “Okay? Um, I thought he hated you up until I heard the very upsetting news this morning, so, I’m not really sure.”

“Hm,” Ryan hummed as he stood. “Bad answer.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s a  _ game,  _ and you’re giving it your all. Right?” Iwaizumi turned in his seat, talking to the setter as he started walking away.

“Of course. I’ve spent  _ way  _ too long trying to be better than him. You think I’m quitting  _ now?”  _ Ryan looked down at Iwaizumi, and he couldn’t help but notice how  _ tall  _ he was.

“Good,” Iwaizumi nodded, uncomfortable being the one under his rare serious gaze.

“Good,” Ryan nodded, finally actually leaving.

Hinata threw himself on the floor of their hotel room, engaging in light exercise, as he thought about their upcoming game. Once again, he’d be on the bench. Their quick attack was so wild, that there was no way the other players could get used to it in time. There was just no point. That wasn’t the only thing their coaches were hiding from the other teams, and the qualifying rounds were honestly a  _ struggle  _ because of it. None of them were able to play to their full potential. That also made all the other teams underestimate them. No one thought they were a real threat and they were just there by the skin of their teeth. It was  _ so  _ frustrating. 

He sighed and sat up, opting to just stretch. He just wanted to  _ play.  _ He didn’t want to wait another week before he could do that. It wasn’t even like he would get to play and  _ Ryan  _ would sit out. Ryan was by far the most well rounded, skilled, point machine on their team. On top of that, the coach made a  _ really smart  _ decision to bring three middle blockers instead of two setters. He justified it by Ryan’s unhuman stamina and the fact that a lot of their team had their roots in setting but settled into other positions when the prodigy joined them.

He checked the clock. It was time to go. He dragged himself up, anticipation, anxiety and disappointment all churning his stomach over and over. He felt so sick. He’d be ready, though. He wanted to play. He just  _ really wanted to play.  _ And he would do whatever it took to stand across the court from Kageyama and finally stay true to his promise of being the last one standing.

He grabbed his bag and met his team in the lobby of the hotel, where they all stood, ready to go to the arena. He sensed the pure energy of competition rolling off of every one of them. Even the ones that knew they wouldn’t be playing. That brought Hinata some form of comfort, because at least  _ he  _ knew he’d play eventually. As long as they didn’t lose.

“The other teams have an advantage, being older and more experienced,” the coach said once they were all gathered. “But we have an advantage where all of our young and somewhat inexperienced players are all wildly talented. Let’s go prove them wrong!”

“Sir!”

They gathered on the bus and Hinata intentionally took the seat in front of Ryan. The setter immediately put earphones in, a tradition he had to get himself amped before a game, but Hinata turned in his seat and stared at him until he took them right back out. 

“Yes?”

“You lived in Canada?”

Ryan furrowed his brow at him, “Yeah. Born and raised.”

“You’re  _ Canadian?”  _ Iwaizumi turned back, also. “Aren’t they supposed to be  _ nice?” _

“What?” Ryan frowned, leaning forward and folding his arms. “I  _ am  _ nice, jerk. And I think that stereotype is a misconception anyways.”

Cole laughed sarcastically, “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just unlucky. I’ll tell you guys  _ all  _ about it.  _ Later.  _ After we win. Sound fair? I’m tryna get my head in the game.”

Hinata laughed and agreed. He turned back around as Ryan put his headphones back in. Iwaizumi leaned on his fiance and they rode their short ride in silence, Hinata going over all the moves he wouldn’t be able to play in his head.

When they arrived, they were ushered into the change room. Hinata put on his uniform and smiled down at his jersey shirt. Number nine. Just like someone else, many years before. History repeated itself. Then, he looked at his team as they put on their knee and, in some cases, elbow pads. He couldn’t stop the thrill, the excitement, the pure, unadulterated  _ joy  _ that he felt from seeping out of his skin and contorting his face into a huge smile.

“You guys are going to  _ kill  _ it!”

His teammates looked up at him, shock moving into smiles.

“We all are,” Ryan said, standing and slapping Hinata on the back. “You guys are watching our backs! How could we possibly lose?”

“Right!” Hinata stared up at him, feeling a strange moment of admiration for the annoying pest of a captain.

They got to the arena, and warmed up. Iwaizumi led them through their stretches for the millionth time by that point, then the coach ran them through some drills. They moved aside when it was Iran’s turn. Cole and Toby stood with Hinata, Ryan opting to stand off to the side and close his eyes.

“They’re pretty big,” Hinata commented, watching Iran warm up, anxiety growing.

“Yeah, so are we,” Cole nudged him.

“That guy gets so  _ quiet  _ before a game,” Toby said, watching Ryan. “It’s so creepy.”

Cole laughed, “It’s a welcome change, if you ask me.”

The whistle blew and the commentator started over the PA. 

_ “We are now commencing the first game of the Men’s Volleyball competition. The United States of America versus Iran. Introducing the starting lineup for the USA.” _

The crowd cheered for them, a feeling Hinata would never get used to, nor did he want to. He looked up to the bleachers at the hundreds or maybe even  _ thousands  _ of people watching back at them. It was by far the biggest gym, court, maybe even building he’d ever seen and the excitement swallowed him whole. He clapped his hands and bounced in spot. It was going to be  _ spectacular.  _ The men ran out onto the court and high fived after each of their introductions.

_ “Number one, Ryan Nyholm. Number two, Jackson Wright. Number four, Robert Anderson. Number five, Toby Garcia. Number eight, Noah Clark. Number twelve, Chester Davis. Number seven, libero, Cole Horowitz.” _

Hinata watched them all move to their positions, stretching and shifting as the commentator introduced Iran. He envied them, but mostly he was so incredibly proud of them. His time would come. There was no way they wouldn’t get to the semifinals with their team. Just no way.

_ “All rise for the teams’ national anthems.” _

They all stood and faced the Iranian and American flags, hands over hearts and patiently waited for the instrumentals to be over so they could start the game. The whistle blew and they all moved to their positions.

_ “First serve for Iran.” _

The entire area held their breaths as their setter bounced the ball a couple times then held it to his forehead. 

The whistle blew again and he threw the ball up, ran to meet it and delivered a jump float, a move that was seemingly unanticipated by the United States as it certainly wasn’t their strong suit. The serve proved to be effective as Toby ran to get it and sent it back to Ryan in a less than ideal fashion, but it got there and that’s what mattered.

“Nice receive!”

Ryan put his arms up, posture unreadable, before taking a slight step back. Iran’s blockers stepped with him and the second the ball touched Ryan’s fingers he sent it over the net, unmarked.

The team was all over Ryan the second the ball hit the floor and the arena frenzied.

_ “Unbelievable! The second touch brings the USA their first point. This is everything we’ve come to expect from Nyholm, ladies and gentlemen!” _

Hinata’s jaw dropped.  _ Second touch? _ He cheered, screaming his support for his team. He wanted to  _ play,  _ dammit!

Iran’s captain shouted to their blockers, “Read block!  _ Read  _ block!”

Ryan  _ laughed  _ before pointing directly to their blockers, “Go and try it! I’ll show you that you’re illiterate!”

“He’s so  _ cool!”  _ Hinata shouted.

Elijah scoffed, “He is  _ not.  _ Don’t encourage him!”

Hinata didn’t hear him. He just stared after his setter, basking in his competitive aura.

The teams were tied at two sets to two sets. They were at set point in the fifth for Iran. The USA team had their hands on their knees and Hinata could feel the strain in his own muscles just watching them. It was Iran’s serve, and that time they went with their classic spike serve.

Toby once again received it, sending it to Ryan who tossed it to Davis. He slammed the ball over, but was quickly blocked by the other team. The coach nudged Iwaizumi hard in his ribs.

“Watch.”

Iwaizumi stared on as Cole propelled himself forward and barely saved the ball, getting it back to Ryan who once again tossed to Davis, who got through the block, but his spike was stopped before it hit the floor. Iran sent it back, equally determined to not lose, spiking the ball hard. It was coursing to go far out of bounds, but since their blockers touched it, that’d be the game.

“Ready?” The coach asked.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, unsure how he was so  _ unbothered _ by the prospect that they could very well lose just then. His heart was in his throat and his entire body jittered with genuine fear.

“There is no way they are stopping it,” Iwaizumi said, watching Cole chase the ball.

The libero sprinted down the court. He jumped over the barricades, crashed over a table, and fell over the boards to the bleachers. He narrowly avoided punching a spectator in the face as they took too long to move out of the way. He hit the ball back with the all of the force in his body, sending it  _ right  _ back to the other side of the net.

_ “What?”  _ Iwaizumi yelled.

_ “An absolutely unbelievable move from Horowitz. There’s no length he wouldn’t go to to save a ball! A once in a lifetime move for most, another Tuesday for Horowitz!” _

Iwaizumi’s eyes bugged out as he watched the rally continue. The ball went back to the USA’s side before being returned to Iran, and back to the USA. The exhaustion must’ve been eating at them, because their receive was sloppy, giving their team a chance ball.

_ “An uncharacteristically long rally for men’s volleyball. Here’s the way it’s supposed to go: One—“ _

Cole received the free ball and sent it up to Ryan.

_ “Two—“ _

Ryan got the ball and tossed it left. Their decoy jumped, fooling their blockers.

“ _ Three—“ _

Davis jumped and slammed the ball over the net, with Iran’s middle blocker barely missing it before it hit the floor.

_ “And that’s the way the game is played! The USA isn’t out of it yet! Another chance to continue on in the games! It’s anyone’s two points now!” _

It was Ryan’s serve. The room hushed, more silent than anything Iwaizumi had heard up until that point in his life. He twirled the ball in his hands before bouncing it twice and pressing it into his forehead. He took a deep breath in as he closed his eyes, focusing totally on just getting the point.

Iwaizumi got chills once again, thinking of him as the heavenly mashup between Kageyama and Oikawa. It made sense. He studied them both and capitalized on both of their strengths, internalizing them and embodying them.

The whistle blew and Ryan opened his eyes again. His energy was so intense. He threw the ball up, running to meet it, his hand meeting it perfectly along the equator, fingers curled loosely around its curve. He slammed it forward with more force than Iwaizumi could’ve comprehended. Their receivers gave it their best effort, but the force was simply too much to them to recover from. The ball ricocheted off their arm and flew back up off to the side, then clattered and rolled along the floor.

_ “A textbook ace for Nyholm! One point for them to take the whole thing now!” _

Iwaizumi held his breath as Cole glared at Ryan, who didn’t even so much as smile at the point he just earned.

“Get another!”

“I’d never let you down, Coley,” Ryan said as he caught the ball and moved back to his serving position. “Wouldn’t even consider it.”

Cole rolled his eyes as he moved back into his spot. The rest of the team stood close to the net, hands on the back of their heads as they waited. Ryan repeated his pre-serve ritual.

The whistle blew and Ryan repeated his process, throwing it up and meeting it in the air. He slammed it over and Iran tried their hardest to get it, but failed in a similar way, sending the ball right into the crowd.

_ “Two in a row for Nyholm! Single handedly bringing the USA out from the bottom and to the win! You saw it here, folks! Simply incredible. He is the player to watch! Sixteen to fourteen here in Tokyo, the USA moves on to play again tomorrow!” _

The roar was deafening and the entire team flocked to the setter to celebrate the brilliance of his performance. He returned their affections before moving away from them.

“Single handedly my ass,” he laughed. “We’re a  _ team  _ and I’ll be damned if another one could beat us!”

Their celebration on the court was short lived because the next game needed to start. They chatted eagerly on their way to the change room. Even if Hinata didn’t get to actually play in it, he didn’t want to take his jersey off. He settled for proudly wearing his jacket tightly around himself.

“You guys were awesome! Just…  _ awesome!  _ I don’t have the English vocabulary to tell you how amazing that was! I—“

“Breath, Shō,” Cole said, but he smiled.

“Yeah!” Hinata said, ripping his shoes off. “It’ll be even better when I can get out there with you!”

“I can’t  _ wait  _ to see Tobio’s stupid little face when he sees our quick!” Ryan laughed as he folded his clothes up. “He won’t even know what hit him.”

“That’s if Japan can beat Italy,” Toby mused as he removed his knee pads.

They all frowned at him.

“I’ll take this one,” Cole said, looking between them. “Don’t talk like that!”

Toby looked on in shock before shrugging, “Just sayin’. Historically, Japan hasn’t been the strongest here. Italy on the other hand…”

“History doesn’t matter. We’re living  _ now,  _ not four, eight, twelve years ago. Okay?”

They blinked at Ryan, pausing in their actions.

“Now they have Tobio Kageyama and Wakatoshi Ushijima, and everyone else is almost as good! Living  _ legends.  _ And we’re going to play them. So, if you expect to win— and  _ I  _ do, so, you should too— you need to  _ realize that.” _

“Yeah, I was just saying—“

“It doesn’t matter. From now on I don’t want to hear any doubt.”

“You need to realize that there’s  _ other  _ players,” Cole snapped. “Like on  _ Italy.  _ They have Astumu Miya and Bokuto Kōtarō! That’s nothing to take lightly!”

“Of course not. But I have it all figured out. You can believe me or not, but we’re beating Canada, then Brazil, then Japan and  _ winning the gold.” _

Ryan pushed by Cole, staring him down as he shouldered his bag, “But I suggest you believe it. Because I know I’m right. I believe in them as much as I believe in you. All of you. Us together. Asshole.”

They watched Ryan leave the room. The door shut heavily behind him. Hinata hummed lowly.

“He’s like a totally different person here.”

“He has tunnel vision,” Cole rolled his eyes. “He sees every possible route to victory in a game, but has no concept on how anything else works.”

“I think he’s just  _ really  _ determined,” Toby smiled. “He’s worked at this his whole life and now he’s here. Can we really blame him?”

“For being an entire dickhead? Yeah, I think we can,” Cole said, slinging his bag across his back.

Toby laughed and followed him out of the room. Hinata hummed again and stared down at his jersey— at the number nine. He couldn’t help but empathize with Ryan. The determination, the desire, the  _ need  _ to face Japan in the finals all but consumed him. It had to happen that way. They worked too hard for anything else. He gripped the lightweight material tightly in his hands, urging himself to grasp the reality of it all. He was at the Olympics. He was going to play the  _ best in the entire world.  _ And he was going to win. He wouldn’t let it happen any other way.

He beamed as he hurriedly packed his things, zipped his jacket up and ran back to the lobby of the arena to meet his team. He slung his arms around Jackson and Elijah’s backs once he got there. The coach beamed at them.

“Amazing performance out there, boys. We’re going  _ out  _ to eat after that. We’ll have an actual briefing once we get back to the hotel, but until then, just enjoy yourselves!”

“Sir!”

He distributed prepaid money cards so they could go to whichever restaurant they so chose, explaining they'd meet back in three hours outside the arena to get back to the hotel. Ryan was about to break off by himself when Hinata tugged on his jacket. The setter looked down at him, confused.

“You promised me stories,” Hinata smiled at him.

Ryan laughed and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, “Absolutely, Shōyō baby.”

Cole, Leilani and Iwaizumi shared a look and followed them out the door.

“Hey, Iwa! Remember that one time we came here?” Hinata pointed up at a restaurant. 

Iwaizumi looked up at the storefront, memories rushing back to him from when they were “dating”. They went to Tokyo to celebrate their birthdays as they were nearly exactly one month apart. He took Hinata’s hand and leaned down to kiss him tenderly.

“Ever thought we’d be here as tourists while you played in the Olympics?”

Hinata shook his head passionately, “No, never.”

“I smell memories!” Ryan exclaimed happily. “We’ll go here!”

They walked inside, removed their shoes and waited to be seated. They were put at a table near the back and all sat on the cushions on the floor. Their waitress greeted them warmly.

«Drinks?» 

«We’ll have water, please,» Iwaizumi gestured between himself and Hinata. «Maybe sake.»

«Definitely sake,» Hinata nodded.

«Both, please,» Iwaizumi smiled apologetically. They each presented ID to prove their age.

«And you two?» She smiled at Cole and Ryan.

They shared a look, catching their waitress on.

“Drinks?” She asked.

“Water is fine,” Cole said.

“Me too.”

“I’ll have whatever they ordered,” Leilani pointed to Iwaizumi and Hinata.

«Okay. I’ll give you all a second to review your menus!»

«Thank you!»

Hinata laughed at Cole, Leilani and Ryan, “For once our Japanese is an  _ advantage!” _

“Being bilingual is always an advantage!” Ryan said.

“Yeah? What language do  _ you  _ speak?” Cole scoffed.

“French!” Ryan threw a finger up. “Canadian French, though. Not even Québécois French. It’s a terrible, horrible bastardized language, but I can speak it!”

“So, we’re all bilingual here,” Cole looked between them. “That’s pretty cool.”

“You speak another language?” Iwaizumi asked. “Oh, right. German, probably, right?”

“Yeah, my parents made me take English classes every Saturday, but still don’t really speak it themselves.”

“Speaking of Quebec,” Leilani said, playing with the corner of her menu, “Ryan is Canadian. That’s so weird.”

He dismissed her with a wave of his hand, “After we order. And literally none of us are  _ actually  _ from America. So, I don’t know why that’s so weird.”

“I’m American,” Leilani said.

“Technically,” Ryan said, getting an eye roll from her.

The waitress came back and took their order, the rest of the group allowing Iwaizumi and Hinata to choose whatever they thought was best. The waitress bowed to them after collecting their menus, and they all returned the action.

“Okay,” Hinata leaned over to look at Ryan. “Ready!”

“You sure you want to hear about this? It isn’t very interesting. It’s actually pretty… bad.”

“Why are you being so weird about it?” Cole frowned. “It’s like you’re hiding a deep, dark origin story.”

“I mean, I love Canada,  _ ‘proud to be Canadian’,  _ and all that. But, honestly, I have my issues with the place.”

“I thought Canada was supposed to be the United States but like… Better?” Hinata said.

“Is that what people think?” Leilani asked.

“I did,” Iwaizumi shrugged.

“I don’t think it deserves all that,” Ryan shook his head. “I grew up in this shitty little border city in northern Ontario.”

“Ontario…” Hinata thought. “That’s the one with, um…”

“Toronto,” Cole finished.

“Toronto,” Iwaizumi agreed.

“Yeah,” Ryan said, sipping his water. “Well, border cities are terrible for things like drugs and crime. We had a population of, like, seventy thousand people. The closest city was four hours away. There was nothing to do,  _ ever.  _ It sucked.”

“Oh,” Hinata said. “Sounds lame. But my city was small, too! It wasn’t so bad.”

“The drug problem was so bad, man. So many of my friends from high school just didn’t graduate. They all smoked  _ so  _ much weed and a lot of them graduated to worse things. Every other month some kid died from fentanyl or from drunk driving. You just stopped getting close to people after a while. Everyone was a terrible person anyways, so it didn’t matter because you were just better off without friends.”

They all frowned at him, “Oh.”

“Then, there was almost  _ no  _ diversity before a bunch of people started coming from Syria and India. That was cool, but before that  _ everyone  _ was either English, Irish or especially Italian. It’s an Italian town, for sure. You were hard pressed to find more than ten black people.”

“Oh,” Leilani scrunched her face up.

“There was a very prominent Indigenous community though,” Ryan said. “Which was  _ fine,  _ I guess. It kind of sucked, to be honest.”

“Excuse me?” Leilani narrowed her eyes at him.

He held his hand up to her, “Hear me out.  _ This  _ is why I don’t really like Canada. Generally, the United States, at least its civilians, seem to be generally aware of how horrible they are. Canada is just as bad but pretends they’re not!”

“How do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Okay, so when I was seventeen and started university, I took social work. God knew our city needed it. And up until you’re an adult you only really know what people tell you, right?”

“Sure,” Cole said.

They all sat back and fell quiet as their food arrived. The waitress smiled and named the foods as she placed them down.

«Thank you for the meal!»

She nodded and bowed before leaving again.

Hinata encouraged Ryan to continue speaking as they all took their portions.

“Right, but growing up in that city, the white people generally didn’t like the native people. They talked about how our government carries them, how their taxes pay for them to live. And all they did with that money, their  _ hard earned dollars,  _ was drink, smoke and play bingo.”

Iwaizumi cringed hard as he heard what Charlotte said to Leilani after  _ cutting her hair off.  _ He felt dirty. He glanced at her and she was staring hard at her food, her desire to fight Ryan all over her face.

“And that was all I knew, so of course, I agreed. For an embarrassing amount of time. But when I started my program I quickly learned that there was a huge amount of focus on Indigenous problems. And my stupid teenage brain was annoyed with that at first. I didn’t really care because why should I? It didn’t affect me. But then, there was this one class.”

Leilani looked up at him finally.

“We always had it outside, weather permitting, and the teacher burned sage as she told us about their culture and beliefs and struggles. It especially changed when she took us on a tour of the campus. Apparently, the school was celebrating  _ fifty years  _ of  _ not  _ being a residential school. And I don’t know if you guys were ever told about residential schools, but I definitely wasn't.”

“What’s a residential school?” Hinata asked.

“Why don’t you take this one,  _ Lei _ lani?” Ryan asked, looking down at his food. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the topic.”

They turned their attention to her where she shifted uncomfortably.

“They’re schools that found their students by tearing them away from their families, not allowing them to return home unless it was for Christmas— if they were  _ good.  _ They stripped them of their history, culture, languages, religions and forced them to be good catholic children. They had them in Hawaii, too.”

Iwaizumi and Hinata looked down, feeling just terrible.

“Yeah,” Ryan said. “So, just fifty years before I took that tour of my school,  _ that  _ was happening. And I never heard about it. That’s  _ fucked.  _ My parents were  _ alive!  _ Not even my grandparents! My  _ mother  _ and my  _ father!  _ Anyways… Our teacher showed us the headmaster’s house, built by the hands of their kidnapped, child slaves. They showed us the child graveyard behind the school and told us there were many more, unmarked, graves. They showed us this little cupboard under the stair—“ He paused and covered his mouth.

“I’m sorry… It’s just so upsetting. This little cupboard under the stairs where they’d shove the children and leave them if they were misbehaving. And misbehaving included speaking their own language. And I just… Hate it. Then my white relatives would complain about them.  _ ‘All they do is drink’.  _ Okay, even if that was true, consider the generational  _ trauma  _ that would cause. Tearing the children away from their parents. Committing cultural genocide and pretending it never happened. How do people cope without real resources or people taking accountability? And this wasn’t even hundreds of years ago. This was one, maybe two, generations ago. No one faced justice. We just told them,  _ ‘haha ya okay, I’m sowwy, here’s some land, I guess. You can have some money. But we’re never really going to  _ address  _ the problem. We’re not going to give you all the resources you need to recover and your northern communities? No, they can’t have clean drinking water. It’s fine. Haha, look, maple syrup!’ _ And I’m  _ sick.” _

They stared at him in silence, none of them really knowing what to say.

“I never knew you went to university,” Cole said quietly, when the silence became suffocating.

“Yeah, because we don’t talk,” Ryan stabbed his chopsticks into a piece of fish. “I dropped out after my first year. Call me a pussy, I don’t really care, but I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to deal with social work. Not even close. So I went to Toronto and managed to get a spot on their team.”

“Wow,” Hinata breathed, feeling too sick to eat, but knew better than to leave leftovers.

“Don’t get me wrong, there’s good things, too. Like I said, I’m probably just unlucky with where I grew up, but…”

Ryan shrugged and returned to his food. The mood was heavy between them. Leilani tapped her chopsticks on her plate.

“That’s a big part of what made me so angry when Charlotte said those things,” she looked at Iwaizumi. “So many people think those things about native people without considering everything that’s happened to all of our communities. It’s really disgusting.”

“I agree,” Iwaizumi said.

“What?” Ryan leaned over to look at her. “Someone said those things  _ to your face?” _

She nodded, “Ushijima’s fiancée. After she cut my hair off.”

Ryan frowned deeply, then sat back and laughed. She glared at him. He waved his hand at her as his laugh died off.

“I would’ve killed her if I were you. Good restraint.”

“I didn’t restrain myself…” She mumbled. “Other people had to do it for me.”

“Good friends,” Ryan countered quickly. “Sucks about your hair, though. That’s pretty crazy. I thought someone died and  _ that’s  _ why you cut your hair and started acting all angry and weird.”

“Wow,” Iwaizumi glared at him.

_ “What?” _ Ryan asked, looking genuinely surprised that was poorly received. “Isn’t that one of the few reasons you’d cut your hair?”

“Dude,  _ shut—“ _

Leilani interrupted Cole, “No, actually. He’s right.”

“Sorry, those words don’t make sense,” Cole frowned as Ryan stuck his tongue out at him.

“Maybe you  _ are  _ mourning something,” Ryan shrugged before taking a bite of his food. “Maybe the death of your friendship with him. It seemed to matter to you.”

“How would you even know if we were close?” Leilani joined in on glaring at him.

“I know everything,” Ryan laughed. “You guys aren’t exactly  _ hard  _ to read. I make my living on reading people and you’re all open, large font, easy reading books. Either for children or elderly people. Take your pick.”

He rolled his eyes when everyone glared at him, “Relax. Being open and easy to read isn’t a  _ bad  _ thing. It just means you're real. You know, you don’t have to have a problem with  _ everything  _ I do.”

Iwaizumi looked down, feeling a little guilty. They were pretty hard on Ryan, but he was just so  _ annoying.  _ He couldn’t help but think he might’ve actually been a pretty decent match for Oikawa. Either that or a really bad one. They were both egotistical, perceptive, annoying people. It could go either way if they ever got serious, which was unlikely.

_ “Anyways,”  _ Ryan huffed. “It’s okay to be angry over what happened. What happened to you was unfair, cruel, hateful and just the embodiment of what your people have been going through for a long,  _ long  _ time. But try and forgive. Not for her sake, but your own. You deserve to be at peace, don’t you?”

Leilani looked at him, her face a cross between anger and consideration, “You don’t even know me.”

“No, I don’t. But I don’t really need to. I do know that everyone deserves to be happy with themselves.”

“I’m not angry with  _ myself.” _

“Okay,” Ryan shrugged. “Good.”

They continued on in silence before Hinata hesitantly brought up their next game. They pushed through the heavy atmosphere, and the less Ryan contributed to the conversation the better it seemed to go. Iwaizumi watched him throughout the conversation. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact that he was being borderline excluded even if he was dragged along with them. Then, it occurred to him that he was going to originally eat alone. He frowned. Ryan was almost  _ always  _ excluded from their group. That sucked. Up until that meal, though, Ryan always seemed like the annoying, blunt, tactless, asshole. He still mostly was. It never occurred to Iwaizumi that he could have rational human thoughts. 

They paid for their meal with the cards the coach gave them and thanked the waitress again. They got their shoes back on and started walking back to the arena, Hinata clinging to his side. It was a really nice feeling. Ryan strayed behind the group, tapping away on his phone.

They met with their team and got on the bus, feeling full and satisfied with their day. Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around Hinata, who leaned heavily into him.

“Can we listen to  _ your  _ music?”

Iwaizumi frowned at him, “Mine?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh, okay?”

Hinata never asked to hear his music before, but he’d do whatever his fiance asked with a damn smile on his face. He removed his phone and headphones, offering one to Hinata.

“What do you want to hear?”

“I don’t care,” Hinata said, putting the headphone in and closing his eyes.

Iwaizumi scrolled through his music before selecting a song. Before he pressed it he looked back at Hinata.

“I listened to this probably forty times a day when you first moved. It really got me through it.”

Hinata smiled at him, feeling fuzzy with affection and anticipation. Iwaizumi played the song, anxiety at the openness playing at his senses. They sat back and just listened.

_ ‘I'm headed straight for the floor _

_ The alcohol served its tour _

_ And it's headed straight for my skin _

_ Leaving me daft and dim’ _

Hinata watched Iwaizumi, feeling how stiff he was. Iwaizumi still wasn’t used to opening up and Hinata decided he’d do all he could to get him used to it.

_ ‘I've got this shake in my legs _

_ Shaking the thoughts from my head _

_ But who put these waves in the door? _

_ I crack and out I pour _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ And I miss my lover, man _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ Oh, and I miss my lover’ _

The sadness and joy inside Hinata fought each other as he thought about his love in their old Sendai apartment, just listening to that song and thinking about him. He thought it was enough to make anyone’s heart crack just a bit.

_ ‘The ways in which you talk to me _

_ Have me wishin' I were gone _

_ The ways that you say my name _

_ Have me runnin' on and on _

_ Oh, I'm cramping up _

_ I'm cramping up _

_ But you're cracking up _

_ You're cracking up _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ And I miss my lover, man _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ Oh, and I miss my lover’ _

They weren’t even really together back then. But they shared such a  _ good  _ thing. They loved each other for long before they ever said it, and he thought that on some level they were both aware of it. At the very beginning, Iwaizumi didn’t think he’d ever be capable of falling in love, and honestly, Hinata agreed. He never thought he’d see Iwaizumi be fully vulnerable.

_ ‘I've shattered now, I'm spilling out _

_ Upon this linoleum ground (Mr. Loverman) _

_ I'm reeling in my brain again _

_ Before it can get back to you (Mr. Loverman) _

_ Oh what am I supposed to do without you?’ _

He felt tears pushing at his eyes and he was  _ pretty sure  _ they were happy tears. He just loved Iwaizumi so much. He wanted to be with him forever. He didn’t know what he did to have the universe put them in the same room, year after year, with his friends making fun of him to the point that Iwaizumi made what he first described as a mistake. But it wasn’t a mistake. That much was clear.

_ ‘I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ And I miss my lover, man (I miss my lover) _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman (Oh-oh) _

_ Oh, and I miss my lover (Mr. Loverman) _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman (Oh-oh) _

_ And I miss my lover, man _

_ I'm Mr. Loverman _

_ And I miss my lover’ _

The song died out and Hinata wrapped himself tightly around Iwaizumi, pressing his face into his shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you  _ more.” _

“Impossible!”

Iwaizumi nuzzled his nose against Hinata’s unfortunately brown hair when Ryan yelled from a couple seats behind them.

“Barf! Wait literally five minutes until we're there!”

Iwaizumi glared at him, there’s good ol’ reliable shitty Ryan. He looked back at Hinata, who smiled at him, and just  _ had  _ to smile back.

«I love you.»

«I love you, too.»

They listened to the next song until they pulled up to the hotel and Iwaizumi wrapped his headphones up and they got off the bus. They walked hand in hand to the lobby. Iwaizumi watched Ryan make a beeline to Oikawa who high fived him. They started  _ attempting  _ to have a conversation when Kageyama approached.

«Hey, idiot!»

Hinata returned his fond smile, «Bakageyama!”

«So, you survived the first day.»

«You, too!»

«Obviously,» Kageyama crossed his arms and an evil smile crossed his face. «Though, when you told me you would qualify, I thought you’d be starting. You didn’t tell me you’d qualify as a  _ benchwarmer.  _ Turns out I overestimated you.»

Hinata’s face passed through several expressions before landing on ‘outraged’, «Fine! Underestimate me! It’ll make it better when I finally beat you!»

Kageyama laughed loudly before shoving him playfully by the shoulder, «Good. See you out there.»

Hinata watched him walk away with clenched fists, their old rivalry burning brightly behind his eyes before pointing and shouting after him, «I’ll see you before then, idiot! We’re in the same hotel!»

«Whatever!»

Iwaizumi laughed lightly and put his hand on Hinata’s shoulder from behind him. Hinata slowly turned and smiled at him. It was the wry, dry, bad-intentioned type of smile.

“I’m gonna beat him. We’re getting to the end and I’m going to beat him. We all are. I don’t even care about the gold. I just want to  _ finally  _ say I am better than Kageyama Tobio.”

Iwaizumi matched his smile, “Yeah.”

They watched the surviving teams interact for a moment before Hinata took his hand. He looked down at his fiance who smiled wickedly.

“Come on.”

“Where?”

“Our room.”

“Yeah? Why?” Iwaizumi smirked.

“I’m not waiting.”

“No, you definitely are.”

Hinata looked at him, the fire in his eye taking Iwaizumi’s breath away.

“No, I’m really not. Let’s go.”

“We have that pesky little briefing to go to, remember?”

Hinata threw his head back and groaned loudly, “Fine, let’s go.”

“Yessir,” Iwaizumi laughed, allowing himself to be pulled away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alt Title: Author Reveals They Know Nothing About Volleyball Once Again  
> lmao


	14. Boys Wear Makeup Too

Around a week and several victorious games later, Hinata couldn’t sleep. He was starving. The vending machine near his room didn’t have the snack that he wanted, so he went to the one near the gym. Right before he went to insert his money, he heard sound come from the gym. He snuck his way over to the slightly ajar door and peeked in.

Ryan hit a ball so it’d hit the wall and come back so he could hit it again. He wore basic grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt and no shoes. Just socks. It was the most...regular that Hinata had ever seen him. Aside from the front of his hair being pinned up at the top with a purple barrette, anyways. He looked exhausted and seemed to be operating on autopilot, lost completely in thought.

Hinata pushed the door open and took his shoes off, “Hey.”

Ryan jumped and barely caught the ball, a startling sign.

“Oh, hey, Shōyō,” Ryan threw the ball to Hinata who readily caught it. “Why are you up?”

“Hungry. Why are  _ you  _ up? If coach sees this he’ll kill you.”

“Fine by me,” Ryan returned the ball in an overhead pass, since Hinata started a back and forth that’d never end.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just come to the gym when I need to feel stable.”

“Feel stable? Why? You feeling homesick?”

“Home is a relative term.”

Hinata furrowed his brow. He didn’t know what that meant. He supposed he could always just ask.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I lived between two countries, since my dad is American. So, I don’t really get homesick.”

“I thought you’re Canadian?”

“I’m both. My dad lived on the American side of the border and my mom lives on the Canadian side. I’m a dual citizen.”

“Oh, I see.”

They continued passing the ball back and forth in relative silence. Hinata didn’t know what to say to him. He was honestly put off by his quiet, pensive energy.

“You sure nothing’s bothering you? Why don’t you talk?”

“I don’t know,” Ryan frowned, eyes on the ball. “I’m just used to working things out on my own, I guess.”

“What? Why don’t you talk to Cole or Toby or even, like, Eli? They’re your friends! That’s what they’re there for!”

Ryan laughed, and it sounded genuine, “Those guys don’t like me, Shōyō. Don’t tell me you really didn’t know.”

“What? Of course they do! You’re our captain!”

“That doesn’t mean much,” Ryan laughed again. “I don’t mind so much either way. As long as game chemistry is fine, I’m not really bothered with making friends. That was the problem with my last team. They just really didn’t like me. Sort of like this one. Which was fine, honestly, I wasn’t really bothered, but they let it affect our games.”

Hinata caught the ball and held it under his arm, “Oh.  _ We’re  _ friends, though, aren’t we?”

“Sure,” Ryan held his hands out and Hinata started tossing the ball with him again.

“If we’re friends then you should tell me what’s bothering you.”

Ryan sighed and caught the ball, twirling it in his hands, “Just because we’re on the same team doesn’t mean you have to pretend to care.”

“I  _ never  _ pretend to care,” Hinata glared at him. “You’re acting really off.”

“Okay, fine,” Ryan threw the ball back at him, rougher than before. “If you  _ need  _ to know, it’s Oikawa.”

“What do you mean?” Hinata frowned. “You don’t like him anymore?”

Ryan let out an unwilling laugh, “No, no. The opposite.”

They were silent for a moment before Ryan elaborated, “I fell in love with Oikawa the  _ second  _ I saw him, okay? Or I guess my own idea of him. And my idea of him as a person wasn’t great. I felt like he was probably a selfish, borderline sociopathic, egocentric, douche. The way he controlled his team and pulled their strings without any of them seeming to notice… I loved it. I wanted to be just like him. But now that I’ve had a chance to actually spend time with him as  _ Tōru,  _ not just Captain Oikawa who I can see on television, things are different.”

His passes got harder the longer he talked about it, but Hinata didn’t say anything.

“What do you think of him now, then?”

“He’s so nice, Shōyō. He seems to genuinely care about almost everyone that crosses his path. He is so hardworking and entirely  _ devoted  _ to volleyball. He isn’t even  _ talented!  _ He  _ worked  _ every inch of the way until he got to where he is. That’s  _ insane!  _ And I’m starting to think I’m not just in love with my  _ idea  _ of Tōru Oikawa, but actually in love with  _ Tōru Oikawa.” _

“That hardly sounds like a problem,” Hinata brushed aside the idea that it’d only been around two weeks.

“Of course it’s a problem.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I haven’t known him for that long. So, obviously my feelings aren’t real. But they feel real. And it’s so confusing. I am  _ so confused.  _ All I know is that I don’t want him to go back to Brazil after this is all over. Not without me, anyways.”

Hinata’s heart sank, thinking about the parallel between them and him with Iwaizumi. It didn’t start as anything serious, but quickly became that. Then, Hinata had to leave. What would’ve happened if Iwaizumi hadn’t put himself on the line?

“You can’t ignore how you feel,” Hinata said surely.

“I don’t know how I feel,” Ryan sighed, slamming the ball down. “I don’t get attached to people like this. I’m so angry with myself.”

“What do you mean?” As far as Hinata was concerned, Ryan  _ did  _ get attached to people. Very much so.

“Remember how I told you about how the people I grew up with suck?”

Hinata hummed and nodded, going to retrieve the ball.

“I found a way to sit on the fence. I’d enjoy people while they were there and accept when they walked away. It was always just  _ fine.  _ One way or the other, I didn’t really care. But now I  _ care.  _ And that’s dangerous.”

“Why’s it dangerous?”

“Because it’ll hurt like a bitch later. I shouldn’t have started anything. I wouldn’t have if I’d known I would end up actually caring about him as a person.”

Hinata frowned deeply, “You mean you  _ didn’t  _ care about him when you started it?”

“It isn’t that I  _ didn’t  _ care about him,” Ryan huffed, growing frustrated. “He was just another person. If that makes sense. It probably doesn’t. It was  _ cooler  _ than if it was just  _ someone  _ but there wasn’t really this huge emotional stake in it.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Hinata said.

“It  _ isn’t  _ good. When this ends he goes back to Brazil and I go back to the States and that thought genuinely  _ hurts.” _

“Why don’t you make it work long distance?”

“Because it’d be forever,” Ryan shook his head. “Long distance doesn’t work forever.”

“Why would it be forever, though?”

“Because we both love volleyball too much to quit. And no team needs two setters with similar skill sets.”

“That’s true.”

“That’s if he’d even want to be with me like that,” Ryan laughed. “Our only  _ real  _ conversations have been with google translate where we both had time to filter our responses. Who knows what he's even  _ really  _ like? You can’t really know someone like that. But… Oikawa is so manipulative, that I probably wouldn’t have gotten to know him regardless.”

Hinata didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing as he continued passing the ball. Ryan caught it and looked down at it pensively.

“Good point, Hinata. I don’t actually feel a real connection to him. It’s just infatuation. I can live with that.”

“I didn’t—“

“Yeah, when we go home, I’ll just move on. No biggie. Oikawa’s just a guy.”

“You really—“

“Thanks for the help,” Ryan clapped him on the back before he pulled his shoes back on. “I owe you one.”

Hinata watched him with a frown as he started to the door. Before he left he turned back and looked Hinata in the eye.

“Hey, did you really mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“That we’re friends?”

“What? Of course.”

Ryan pursed his lips, considering him before nodding, “Cool. Sleep well, friend.”

“You know,” Hinata called, getting his attention. “Oikawa  _ is  _ manipulative, but so are you. You’re both alike in that way. I don’t think you can manipulate a manipulator, they’d see right through it. I think what you’re seeing is what you’re getting.”

Ryan held the ball tightly against his hip as he considered what he said, “So, you think Oikawa is being real?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You think I’m manipulative?”

“Obviously.”

Ryan laughed, “You think I’m any good at it?”

“The best,” Hinata smiled.

“Obviously not,” Ryan lifted the ball in one hand, really showcasing the size of it, and pointed at him, “If you can tell it’s happening, then I must not be any good.”

“It’s the quality of any setter who’s worth anything,” Hinata shrugged. “The better you are at controlling people without them knowing, the better you are at setting. And you’re the best setter, so you’re the best manipulator.”

Ryan laughed heartily, “I know it’s not really a compliment. Not to a normal person. But that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. So, I’ll give you some advice back.”

Hinata cocked his head at him as he bounced the ball off the floor, passing it back over. Hinata caught it and looked down at it curiously.

“I’m not sure how no one’s ever told you this, but it’s clear no one has by the way you play. When you’re spiking, you should never hit in the direction you’re facing. It’s too easy to read. Sometimes you need to use that little brain of yours instead of depending entirely on speed.”

Hinata cackled at the ball, “See? So manipulative that you’re teaching others how to do it.”

Ryan turned as he laughed and lifted a hand to him as he walked away, “It’s a game of deception, baby. Volleyball, love, life, all of it. All of it. Never show them your hand and bluff like your life depends on it.”

Hinata watched him go then looked down to Ryan’s ball, the smile never leaving his face. He had no idea how he made friends with so many  _ weird  _ people, but he supposed that wasn’t a bad thing. He was always learning that way. He was a genuine person, though, and he liked it that way. He didn’t mind people seeing his cards. He liked people to know exactly what he thought. Life wasn’t supposed to be one big game. That’s part of why he played sports— so he could leave it on the court and relax afterwards.

He pulled his shoes on and carried the ball with him back to the room, his snack long forgotten. He started turning the corner when he saw Cole in their hall. He quickly fell back behind the corner and peeked around the wall. He watched his friend walk up to Leilani’s door then walk away. He did this a few more times before taking a deep breath and actually approaching the door. He held his fist up before frowning and leaning into it.

His face went white and he covered his mouth with his hand before hurriedly walking away. Hinata frowned after him. What  _ was  _ that? He tiptoed down the hall to Leilani’s door once Cole was certainly gone. He leaned in and nearly immediately recoiled. He’d never actually  _ heard  _ other people having sex before, but it was unmistakable. That was definitely the sound of Leilani having sex.

He backed away from the door harshly, running into the opposite wall in his haste and booked it to the opposite end of the hall and fumbled his key to the door. He struggled to unlock the door for so long that Iwaizumi beat him to it.

“Jeez, I was wondering if you die—“

_ “Shhh!!” _

Iwaizumi watched Hinata curiously as he held the door open for him, then let it fall shut when his fiance was securely inside. Hinata threw himself on the bed and covered his eyes while groaning loudly.

“What happened to you out there?”

“I heard Leilani…” He paused then whispered, “Sex.”

“So, you’re telling me you just spend the last, I don’t know, let’s say forty minutes, just listened to Leilani having sex?”

Hinata groaned again before he could even finish his sentence, “Don’t say it so casually! God. Also,  _ no,  _ thanks. I was talking to Ryan.”

“Ryan?”

“Yeah, he was in the gym and looked all out of it.”

“He was  _ practicing?”  _ Iwaizumi snapped, rolling up his sleeve. “I’m going to kill him.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Iwaizumi looked back at him as he rolled onto his back and starfished on the mattress. “He was just tossing a ball against the wall. He said he goes there when he needs to feel ‘stable’.”

“What does that mean?”

“His answer didn’t really make sense, but I think he meant familiar. Like, the gym is always constant. So when you’re feeling not good then you can go there and just feel the same way.”

“Oh.”

Iwaizumi sat on the mattress and ran his hands through Hinata’s hair, “Can you dye it back?”

“Yeah, I really should. Before our wedding, anyways.”

“Good.”

“Ryan thinks everyone on the team hates him.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Maybe not hate, but he kept saying we don’t like him.”

“You and me? Or all of us?”

“All of us. He said he doesn’t really care, because he isn’t here to make friends. As long as the game chemistry is right.”

Iwaizumi pursed his lips. Ryan was annoying. That was a fact. He didn’t really want to be close with the guy, lest he wore his soul down to stardust, but he wouldn’t go so far as to say he  _ didn’t like him.  _ He tore his eyes from Hinata’s face and stared at the ceiling as he thought about what to say, but his fiance took the responsibility away from him as he spoke first.

“I called him very manipulative,” he laughed. “And he took it as a compliment.” he

“Actually?”

“Yeah. I explained to him that he and Oikawa are equally manipulative, so they can’t really work each other the way they work everyone else.”

“That’s really true. I was thinking that a while ago. They’ll either be the best or worst thing that happened to each other.”

“I don’t think it matters.”

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi moved above Hinata’s head and pulled him up before wrapping his arms around his waist, petting his chest under his shirt.

“Ryan said that when the Olympics are over, so are they. He said there’s no point in a permanently long distance relationship.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“I don’t think so.”

“What?” Iwaizumi nuzzled his nose into Hinata’s neck.

“Think about it,” Hinata did his best to look at him. “What if you decided it wasn’t worth going to America with me. Where would we be?”

“Yeah, but we weren’t fighting for the same position on a volleyball team. They’ll never play on the same team, either. They’re too similar.”

“Ugh, all you people with your  _ logic.  _ I just wish they’d follow their hearts.”

“Seems like their hearts are saying volleyball is more important than their shorter than a month relationship.”

“Okay, that one is  _ really  _ valid.”

“Yeah. Just don’t think about it. They’ll work it out. Get some sleep. Just because we’re not playing tomorrow doesn’t mean you can stay up forever.”

“Right.”

He stood to go brush his teeth and do his skincare routine. He never had one before the Olympics, but he saw Toby doing his and after closer examination of his  _ flawless  _ skin, he went and got himself some products, too. Iwaizumi followed him into the bathroom and watched him, having already done his nighttime routine. He asked all the appropriate questions about what Hinata was doing, which made the smaller man feel nice. He genuinely cared.

Hinata brushed his teeth and stripped on the way to the bed. Iwaizumi flipped the light off and climbed in, holding his arm open so Hinata could lay on his chest. When his fiance made no such move, he raised his eyebrows.

Hinata laughed and grabbed him by his arm, pulling him into  _ his  _ chest for once. Iwaizumi chuckled and nuzzled his face into his skin. He weaved his leg between Hinata’s and just savored the feeling of being held. The mixture of his strong grasp, his warmth, the sound of his heart and lungs, and the smell of coconut and sunscreen, lulled Iwaizumi to sleep faster than he ever thought possible for himself.

The next day, they sat at breakfast with their team and without visitors. Hinata very pointedly avoided speaking to or making eye contact with Leilani. Their manager approached them and stared around them all for a moment before fixating on Ryan.

“Did you guys decide on what you’ll do for your PR video for your Instagram?”

Ryan nodded and covered his mouth as he swallowed his food, “Yeah. We’re gonna film it at noon.”

“Who’s all doing it with you?”

“Oikawa, Sacha and Atsumu.”

“Really?” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Ideally it’d be  _ our  _ team, but that  _ will _ draw the attention of their diehard fans to us as well. How’d you get those guys to agree?”

“It was more Oikawa than me, to be honest.”

“How’d you get  _ Oikawa  _ to agree? He hates your guts.”

“I beg to differ,” Ryan made brief eye contact with Hinata before picking up his fork again. “Don’t worry, it’ll get done.”

“Good. Hinata, you need to do one too. Your performance is the most anticipated of the year. Any ideas?”

“Oh, yeah,” Hinata beamed. “I got Goshiki, Bokuto and Ushijima all to agree.”

He avoided Leilani’s glare, paying no mind because he was still haunted by the noises he heard the previous night.

“Wow, all the heavy hitters, huh? Brazil, Italy and Canada all together with the United States. Even Japan! That’ll be awesome. Good job, boys. Catch ya later.”

“Bye!” They called.

“What are you guys doing for your video?” Hinata looked at Ryan, having  _ no idea  _ what he did ku seewere going to do.

“We’re going to do a lip sync and volleyball demonstration to  _ Read U, Wrote U  _ by  _ Rupaul and the Drag Race Cast.”  _ Ryan laughed. “What about you?”

“Um.”

“You  _ do  _ know what you’re doing, right?” Cole eyed him up.

“Obviously I know what we’re doing!” Hinata exclaimed before crossing his arms. “There’s just a few things I need to work out!”

“Oh, please, do indulge us,” Leilani smirked.

Hinata grimaced when the word  _ please  _ passed her lips, “We’re doing a… Q&A. Yeah. For sure.”

“Sounds convincing, babe,” Iwaizumi leaned over and kissed his temple.

“What are you doing today?” Hinata asked.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi frowned. “Bokuto asked me to take Akaashi shopping since he’s busy.”

“Bokuto asked  _ you?  _ To take  _ Akaashi… shopping?” _

“Yeah. He said it was because he accidentally told us he was going to propose to him when he was drunk. He hasn’t told anyone else yet, I guess. But he wants me to take him and discreetly find something for him to wear for the occasion without him knowing. Also, to see what kind of rings he would like.”

“So…” Hinata struggled to get a grasp on the situation. “Okay. So.  _ You.  _ Taking  _ Akaashi,  _ this person you have  _ never met _ , to go  _ shopping,  _ an activity you actively hate on the daily. Okay, okay. For  _ clothing and a ring.” _

“We’re just looking, but yeah. That about sums it up. Good listening comprehension skills.”

“Okay, but you’re just  _ okay  _ with that? Just…  _ down  _ for it?”

“I can’t say I’m really  _ excited,  _ but it’s nice to be included in their special event. Plus, Bokuto says we’ll get along really well. I can’t see it, personally, as whoever decided to  _ marry  _ Bokuto has to be a little crazy.”

“We’re all a little crazy,” Hinata laughed, leaving it there. He wanted Iwaizumi to be completely shocked by Akaashi and how  _ normal  _ he was.

“I meant  _ very  _ crazy. They’ve gotta have a lot of energy to keep up with that guy. Like you.”

“Oh,  _ I’m  _ crazy, now?” Hinata balked. 

“Just a little,” Iwaizumi laughed, bumping their shoulders together. “It should be fine, though.”

“Definitely,” Hinata said with an evil smile.

“That doesn’t sound reassuring,” Iwaizumi chuckled as he stood. “I’ve gotta get going, though. If I want to meet him on time, anyways. But if he’s  _ anything  _ like Bokuto, I’m sure he’ll be late.”

Hinata leaned his head up for a kiss, which Iwaizumi eagerly gave him before walking away. Hinata looked back at his teammates who seemed to be in a heated debate about politics. That didn’t interest him, so he got up.

“Hinata!” Ryan called.

He looked back, “Yeah?”

The setter got up and jogged over to him, “Hey, you need help with your PR thing?”

Hinata gave him a defeated smile as his shoulders slumped, “Yes, please. I can help you, too. Or I can just owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Ryan said, leading him away by the shoulders. “This is what friends do, right?”

“Right!”

“Where’s your dear husband off to today?” Ryan asked once they got back to Hinata’s room and didn’t see his trainer.

“Shopping,” Hinata said, grabbing the hotel supplied notepad from the desk.

“Shopping? Iwaizumi? Or do you have a  _ secret  _ husband none of us knows about that’d  _ actually  _ do something like that?”

Hinata laughed, “No, he got sucked into it. He’s taking Bokuto’s boyfriend out.”

“Oh, gotcha,” Ryan said, but the confusion was still clearly written across his face.

They hunkered down on the floor with the notepad between them.

“So, a Q&A, huh? What kinda questions are you guys gonna answer?”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Hinata frowned down at the blank pad.

Ryan took the pen and paper from him and to Hinata’s  _ astonishment,  _ he used his left hand to write something on it.

“You’re left handed?”

“Huh?” Ryan looked up. “Oh, yeah.”

“How did I not know that?”

“I do almost everything else with my right hand. It gives me a nice advantage in games if I need to spike. I haven’t let that little secret out in a real  _ professional  _ game, though. I’m saving it for when we’re really backed against a wall.”

“That’s really cool! Ushijima will  _ die  _ when he finds out.”

“Yeah, sucks for him because his left-handedness is unexpected by most people somehow, but he’ll still have no idea how to counter it when it happens against him. Toby’s ambidextrous, too. That’s why he’s a starter.”

“I always thought it was just because he was  _ good,”  _ Hinata’s mind reeled.

“All our players have a dirty little secret,” Ryan winked at him. “The starters do, anyways. On top of being very skilled. That’s why it pisses me off when Cole is all down about our team.”

“You know, you said that I should never show my hand and bluff like my life depends on it, but you’re actually pretty honest.”

“Yeah, because this doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…” Ryan huffed and sat back as he thought. “Other people's opinions of me don’t really hold any weight to me. I know who I am, what I’m about and what I like, so being as honest as I can drives the people that don’t fuck with me away.”

“It doesn’t bother you  _ at all _ when people just dip out when you’re honest and they reject that?”

“Of course not. Why should it? I’m the one who has to live with myself forever.”

Hinata stared at him before nodding, “I like that.”

“Yeah,” Ryan laughed. “Let’s get to work.”

Iwaizumi waited in the designated spot in  _ Tokyo Midtown  _ for Akaashi. He was getting impatient when it was fifteen minutes after he was supposed to arrive and still wasn’t there. At least he  _ assumed  _ he hadn’t shown up. The only description he’d been given of the guy was  _ ‘you’ll know him when you see him’.  _

_ ‘What’d I say?’  _ He thought.

Just as he thought about calling Hinata to get a hold of Bokuto to get a hold of Akaashi, Hinata called him. He brushed off how freaky the universe was when he picked up.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi said. “I was about to call you.”

“Iwa!” Hinata shouted, barely audible over the background noise. “You there?”

“Yeah!” Iwaizumi said. “Can you figure out if Akaashi is coming?”

“Akaashi’s been waiting for thirty minutes! Where are you?”

Iwaizumi frowned and pulled his phone down to check the time. Just as he thought, it was still only about twenty minutes since they were meant to meet. The guy got there  _ early? _

“I’m outside,” he looked up,  _ “Fendi.” _

“You’re supposed to meet him at  _ Felisi!” _

“Oh,” Iwaizumi frowned back up at the storefront as his face flushed. “Okay, I’ll go there now.”

“Have fun!”

“I love you.”

“I love you!”

He rushed over to the right store, and saw a tall guy with dark hair just standing there, holding two drinks. He was like something from out of an art magazine. He wore impossibly black plants, chunky sneakers, and a coat that looked like his grandmother’s area rug wrapped tightly around his body and that was clasped together with a thick black belt. He had several ear piercings and his nails were painted. His entire face was covered in makeup. Iwaizumi made his way over thinking about how he  _ definitely  _ would be a douche. But at least Hinata was right; he did know when he saw him.

“Akaashi Keiji?”

The guy blinked at him before blinding Iwaizumi with a smile, “Iwaizumi Hajime!”

“That’s me. I’m really sorry, I had the wrong store.”

“It’s okay! It happens to everyone, right?”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi hesitantly smiled back.

“I got us drinks. I didn’t know what you liked so I got a raspberry iced tea and just a green iced tea. You can pick which you’d like.”

“Oh, I don’t mind either way,” Iwaizumi said, and Akaashi handed him the green tea.

“The ice may be a bit melted. Sorry about that.”

“No, that’s my fault. Thank you for the tea.”

“Of course.”

They started walking through the shopping centre, looking around and Iwaizumi feeling slightly guilty. Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say to him, what to do or where to go. He definitely overestimated his own abilities. Akaashi was nothing like what he thought he’d be. So quiet and nice and  _ normal.  _ What was  _ he _ doing with Bokuto?

“So, you’re an athletic trainer?”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi finally looked back at him, shocked by his blue eyes. “Bokuto mentioned that you work for a magazine?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi said, looking forward again. “Yeah, I do.”

They fell back into an uncomfortable silence and sipped their drinks. They pretended to be very interested in the people around them. Iwaizumi had to say  _ something.  _

“What’s your story? With Bokuto, I mean. How’d that happen?”

Akaashi looked back at him, evidently surprised, but it easily melted into a smile. Iwaizumi was pleased with the reaction, and more than that, genuinely interested in the answer.

“Oh, well, we played on the same team in high school. He’s a year older than me, but he always acted like a child. He was really annoying at first. Very high maintenance.”

Akaashi gestured to a store and Iwaizumi nodded before they went inside and started browsing together.

“But the more I had to get to know him to, you know, maintain him, the closer we became. I woke up one day and looked at my phone and had a million texts from him throughout the night and realized we’d actually become  _ friends. _ There’s some middle there, then in my second year we started…”

He glanced down at Iwaizumi before lowering his voice some and looking back to the rack,  _ “Seeing  _ each other without telling our friends. Eventually it became second nature and we were like that in every aspect of our lives despite never really deciding to be together. But then, he graduated. He got picked up by Italy and had to leave.”

Iwaizumi frowned as Akaashi’s smile turned sad.

“Since we never talked about how we really felt, him leaving meant we were over. He went to Italy and I stayed in Japan, to finish high school and just… move on.”

He took a shirt off the rack and held it against himself, “What do you think of this?”

Iwaizumi eyed him up. He thought the shirt would look amazing on him, and he said so. Akaashi watched his face closely before shrugging and putting it back.

“Anyway, I struggled. My grades, my health—mental and physical— suffered. We didn’t even make it to Nationals in my last year because of me. I didn’t even realize how bad I’d gotten until Kuroo sat me down and told me I looked like shit and asked if I was okay.”

“Kuroo?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Hm, yeah, he’s a mutual friend. He played for Nekoma. Hinata knows him, too.”

“Oh, gotcha.”

“I think it would help if I knew what I was shopping for,” Akaashi smiled hopefully at him and Iwaizumi absolutely  _ melted.  _

“I’m pretty sure it’s something to celebrate winning the gold,” Iwaizumi half lied.

“That’s optimistic,” Akaashi scoffed with an eye roll before settling on a fond smile. “I’d expect nothing less.”

With a new goal in mind they shopped for a couple of hours before they  _ finally, finally  _ settled on  _ nothing _ . Akaashi seemed wildly underwhelmed by his options. They were going to get lunch when they passed by a jewelry store and Iwaizumi remembered the other reason they were there. He tapped Akaashi on the shoulder and pointed at the store.

“Hey, do you mind if we go in there?”

“Sure, why?”

_ Shit.  _

“I wanna look at wedding rings. I still don’t have any clue what we’re doing for that.”

“Oh, okay,” Akaashi shrugged, leading the way inside.

Iwaizumi wiped his metaphorical brow and breathed a sigh of relief.

They walked by many showcases and to Iwaizumi’s disappointment and exasperation, Akaashi didn’t browse  _ at all.  _ He expressed no interest in anything, but simply walked exactly to where he needed to be.

“Any thoughts?”

Akaashi slowly shook his head, “Jewellery is a tricky thing. It’s so personal.”

Iwaizumi frowned as he stared down at the rings. He supposed that was true. He was sure if he was  _ actually  _ there to pick out rings without Hinata’s input and expressed permission on the final decision, he’d be a puddle of anxiety. He praised his fiance for choosing such a perfect ring for him as he stared down to his fingers.

“Personally, I’d go for something more simple,” Akaashi seemed to sense his anguish. “Like just a band. But since you’re marrying  _ Hinata  _ you’d probably go with something flashier. I don’t know him that well, though, and I won’t pretend to.”

“Any insight helps,” Iwaizumi sighed and pretended to examine the bands.

“I’d look at women’s rings for Hinata.”

Iwaizumi nodded and shifted over to the next case then frowned at the very flashy rings, “You really think he’d like  _ these?” _

“Like I said, I don’t know him that well. The last time we talked was… four… five years ago?”

“Well, what would  _ you  _ like?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

Akaashi frowned, but chose to answer. Iwaizumi thanked the lord for his luck.

“I don’t know, honestly. Like I said, for a wedding ring, I’d pick something simple. Probably silver. No stone.”

“No stone?”

“No. That’s more of an engagement ring thing, if you ask me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Just personal taste. I think Hinata would like the stones on the wedding ring, though, which is why I suggested women’s rings.”

Iwaizumi watched Akaashi lean into the case and point at a huge, flashy, multilayered, bedazzled ring, “Yeah, see? That’s too much. It’s in fashion right now, but… If Bokuto presented me with something like that, I’d reject him.”

“You’d  _ reject  _ him? That’s kind of harsh, don’t you think?”

Akaashi laughed, “I’d expect him to know me better than that. The flashiest thing in my life is him, and I think he likes that.”

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile, knowing that way a lie simply by the way the guy carried himself, but also knowing he genuinely believed it, “You like simpler things, then.”

“Yeah. And Bokuto  _ is  _ simple.”

“I think Hinata’s the same way, honestly. I think anything I chose would be good enough if I chose it just thinking of him,” Iwaizumi realized out loud. The love he felt at the thought swelled so violently in him that he felt ill.

“That’s really sweet.”

“What kind of metal though? Silver or gold?”

“Hinata and you both have warm skin tones, so gold is a better option. Bokuto and I both have cool toned skin so silver would work for us. I don’t think we’re ever going to get married, though.”

“What?” Iwaizumi’s head snapped up to him. “Why would you say that?”

“Because we’re not even technically dating,” Akaashi laughed lightly. “We just don’t talk about that kind of thing.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi frowned before patting the glass case. “Want to get lunch? You can finish telling me that story?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

Iwaizumi thought for a moment, considering the places in the area,  _ “Cucina Buona?” _

“Italian?” Akaashi side eyed him.

“What? You sick of it?” Iwaizumi laughed and knocked him with his elbow.

“No, it’s fine,” Akaashi’s grin pushed through his annoyed expression. “It’s not like it’ll be  _ real  _ Italian, anyway.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi said, looking ahead again, “You never realize how  _ ‘Japanized’  _ things are here until you move somewhere else.”

“Yeah, even in America, most of the food is  _ ‘Americanized’,”  _ Akaashi nodded. “Authentic Italian food is incomparable.”

“Really? I’d like to try it sometime.”

“Maybe I can cook for you two. While we’re all here for your wedding. And by me, I mean Bokuto, since I can't cook to save my life.”

“Really?” Iwaizumi looked at him, surprised at the gesture.

“Sure. He’s amazing at it. And you guys can make us…” Akaashi thought of a  _ truly  _ American food, but couldn’t quite do it.  _ “Twinkies?” _

Iwaizumi couldn’t stop the ugly laugh that tore through his throat, which seemed to be contagious as Akaashi laughed along with him.

“Fair enough,” Iwaizumi breathed out when he’d calmed down.

“You’re different from what I expected,” Akaashi smiled as he looked at him from the corner of his eye. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I guess I expected Hinata to be with someone more like him. You know, loud, energetic, all over the place. But you’re pretty chill.”

“Thanks, man,” Iwaizumi bumped him with his elbow again, “I won’t lie, I expected something different from you, too.”

“Let me guess,” Akaashi held his hand up, seemingly come to life, “Super loud, annoying, stupid, airhead, late to everything.”

“That about sums it up.”

Akaashi tilted his head back as he clutched his sides with a laugh and Iwaizumi’s mind quickly flashed with orange hair as the sounds of their laughs overlapped. Happiness always looked like Hinata as far as he was concerned. Regardless of how nice someone’s laugh was, or how pure their energy was, it was never as beautiful or pure as his fiance.

They got to the restaurant and were led to a table out on the patio. Iwaizumi pulled Akaashi’s chair out for him and nodded in response to his thanks. He sat across from him and they each ordered a glass of red wine. They examined their menus and ordered when they decided on what they wanted.

Iwaizumi took his menu from him and handed them back to the waiter, thanking him, before turning back to Akaashi and cheersing him with his wine.

“Finish your story.”

“Right,” Akaashi sipped his wine before swirling it in his glass. “Where’d I leave off?”

“Kuroo said you looked like shit.”

“Right,” Akaashi stared into his wine. “Yeah, I was in pretty bad shape. I didn’t know how to get on without Bokuto. We tried staying in contact, but it hurt a lot. I would’ve withstood any amount of pain just to hear his voice, though. That was until he got a girlfriend.”

“A  _ girl _ friend?”

Akaashi nodded and copied him in sipping his wine, “And she was  _ gorgeous.  _ And they looked so happy. It felt terrible. So, I cut off all contact.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah. All of it. He couldn’t have reached me if he tried. He tried getting Kuroo to talk to me for him, but then I cut him out, too. I was a real bitch about it all. It’s embarrassing to think about.”

“You cut Kuroo out?” Iwaizumi frowned.

“I did. In my mind at the time, he was  _ Bokuto’s  _ friend. Not mine. If he was going to respect Bokuto’s wishes by defying mine, then he wasn’t really my friend. But now I know he was just worried and I was just stupid.”

“That doesn’t sound that flawed to me.”

“Thank you. Maybe it’s just knowing them so well that my mind changed on it. They never go out to hurt anyone.”

“I don’t doubt it. How long did you stop talking to them for?”

“Kuroo for three years, Bokuto for four.”

_ “Years?” _

Akaashi nodded solemnly before taking a large drink of his wine, “Like I said, stupid.”

“How did you guys get back together after all that time?”

“It took a lot to get me to snap out of it. I dated other people, too. But they were never… I don’t want to say  _ good enough,  _ but… They just weren’t  _ him _ . Their hair was too flat, or they weren’t tall enough, or they didn’t smell like the ocean. None of them were larger than life or their laughs wouldn’t stop an entire room in its tracks.”

“That’s really romantic,” Iwaizumi leaned onto his hand as he finished his glass of wine.

“Not really. It was dependent and pathetic.”

“I disagree.”

Akaashi shrugged as he finished his glass as the waiter came with their food. They silently agreed to order another, sitting in silence as the waiter poured the wine.

“Why don’t you leave the bottle?” Iwaizumi flashed his most charming smile.

“Of course,” the waiter smiled, placing the bottle down.

“Thank you very much,” Akaashi said.

They watched the waiter walk away before continuing with their conversation.

“I struggled  _ hard.  _ My parents forced me to go to a psychiatrist. I was prescribed pills that I never took. You can’t tell me that isn’t pathetic.”

Iwaizumi grew weary as he noticed Akaashi’s eyes glaze over in a familiar way as he got further into his glass. The conversation was intensely personal and self deprecating and it was starting to make him uncomfortable.

“It isn’t. Don’t say that again, okay? I don’t like it. You’re amazing, so stop talking so badly about yourself.”

Akaashi looked up at him, eyes flashing with some type of emotion Iwaizumi couldn’t place.

“Sorry. You’re right.”

“Thank you. Please, continue,” Iwaizumi sat back and sipped his drink, trying to push the conversation back on track.

“I moved out once my parents told me I was losing it. Once I was on my own, I realized how  _ on my own  _ I was. I don’t know what made me do it, but I started a Youtube account. I just did whatever I wanted on there, and it made me feel less alone. I discovered fashion and makeup, and it felt  _ nice  _ to just find the beauty in things again. I started actually taking my medication and it helped so much. I felt so silly for not taking it sooner. I reached out to my family again, and eventually Kuroo, too. He was so happy to hear from me. My Youtube really gained some traction by then, and after talking with my friends I found out some of it was because Kenma promoted my account and a lot of the rest was because  _ Bokuto  _ promoted it. Turns out I couldn’t exactly block him from every account in the world.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.”

“Right? Some time after that, I found the strength to  _ actually  _ ask about Bokuto. I heard he went to the Olympics for the first time. They got second place to Brazil. Isn’t that insane?”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi smiled, remembering that moment. He and Hinata had watched it on television, his then not-even-boyfriend wanting to support his friend in any way he could.

“He seemed to be doing just fine without me. I ignored it at first, but the thought just wouldn’t go away. I kept thinking about how in high school, that simply wasn’t the case. At first it made me angry. I felt replaceable. I felt used. But then, slowly, I accepted it. We were never really dating, you know? So, I couldn’t  _ really  _ be upset when he moved on.”

They slowly picked at their food and their bottle of wine was mostly gone. Iwaizumi was entirely over his uncomfortable feeling as it was slowly replaced with the warm buzz of a wine drunk. He nodded to Akaashi but then shrugged.

“I relate all too well.”

“You do?”

Iwaizumi frowned then looked around him before leaning in and whispering, “If I tell you something, do you promise to never tell anyone?”

“You can trust me.”

“Hinata and I spent the first  _ two  _ years of our relationship not dating.”

“You mean you just didn’t talk about it?”

“No, I mean at first, I just kissed him because his friends always made fun of him at the Christmas party. Then, we pretended to date so people wouldn’t make  _ extra  _ fun of us for lying about dating. Then, I’m not really sure why anymore, but we just  _ wouldn’t  _ admit how we really felt. Until Hinata was leaving for the United States. The fear I felt when he walked away was different from anything I’d ever felt. It was then or never, so I asked him to wait for me, and luckily for me, he agreed.”

Akaashi cocked his head at him, “You guys weren’t together in any real capacity for the first entire two years?”

“No, we acted more or less as a couple, but we just made excuses for why we needed to stay together. Until we ran out of excuses, that is.”

“I love that. You two stumbled into it and came to love each other.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi smiled against his glass.

“I wish I’d been as brave as you. Instead of wasting nearly half a decade.”

“Right, how’d you come back together?”

“Basically, and it sounds crazy because it is, but I was in bed just staring at my ceiling. My boyfriend at the time slept beside me and I just had  _ enough.  _ I got up, packed a suitcase as quietly as I could and left. I just got on the first plane to Rome, not thinking about it.”

“You just left the person you were with?”

Akaashi shrugged, “Yeah. It isn’t good, but it gets worse.”

“I’m not judging.”

“Good.”

“Then what happened?”

“I realized I had no idea where he lived,” Akaashi laughed. “I used my connections from my job with my sports magazine to get his manager on the phone. You probably know, but Bokuto also did some modelling, because  _ of course he did.”  _ They laughed. “But under the guise of getting an interview with him, I managed to secure his address.”

“You’d think  _ you’re  _ the model based on how you dress,” Iwaizumi teased.

Akaashi laughed and dismissed him with a wave of his hand, “Oh,  _ stop.  _ We won Instagram’s hottest couple last year, but that doesn’t matter.”

Iwaizumi barked out laughter at that, “Wow, so humble, too.”

“Always!” Akaashi sat back and met his eye severely as he sipped his drink. “We’re getting to the end, finally. I got to his door and gathered every ounce of courage I had to knock. It was 11:48 in the morning. He answered the door in a  _ wetsuit  _ and a  _ snorkel.  _ Such a loser. He stared at me for a moment before asking if I wanted to come to the beach.”

“There’s no way,” Iwaizumi balked, watching Akaashi die of laughter until he devolved to snorts. “He didn’t even react?”

“No, it was like I never shut him out of my life for over four years.”

“Did you go to the beach? Did he still have that girlfriend?”

“I did go, and he was dating someone, but it was someone different. Somehow even more gorgeous. But I was prepared to deal with that. They were living together and even had a pet cat.”

“Really? What happened to them?”

“We were at the beach, like all the distance, physical and emotional never happened at all. His girlfriend didn’t even talk to us, because she was a bit more invested in the rest of his team than she really was with him.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “Ew.”

“Yeah, honestly. It still gets worse. But we got to spend a lot of time together that day. By the time the sun was going down, it got really cold. We were soaked from swimming, but he still gave me his sweater so I wouldn’t freeze. He was always so sweet. And it smelled like the ocean, which was funny, because we were beside the  _ real  _ ocean, and I still preferred the smell of his sweater. We sat away from everyone and watched the sun set together, something we used to do on the roof of my parents home.”

“That’s so,  _ so  _ romantic,” Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut, unable to contain his love for the idea.

“Yeah,” Akaashi smiled fondly. “But then,  _ she  _ came back. We had to go home, or back to  _ his— their—  _ home. We decided I’d stay with him until I figured out what I was doing there.”

Their bottle of wine was totally gone, and they decided to order dessert and another bottle. Once it all arrived they continued speaking.

“One day, I came back from a meeting with the Rome headquarters of my magazine, having had a transfer completed and a work visa underway. Bokuto was  _ so  _ excited by the news. He actually scooped me up and spun me around like we were characters in a movie. It was amazing. I missed how he felt.”

“Wait, where was the girlfriend in all of this?”

“See, this is where it gets bad,” Akaashi stared down into his wine, guilt all over his face. Iwaizumi gulped with anticipation, knowing what came next. “When he put me down, he just  _ stared  _ at me. For a long time. Then he told me how much he missed me and how happy he was that I was back. Then, he kissed me. Then, one thing led to another…”

“Oh, god.” He knew what was coming, but his skin still prickled with heated disgust at the words. Maybe he  _ was  _ judging. Just a little.

“Yeah, I know. We told her, though. Right away. She broke my nose.”

“She  _ broke  _ your nose?”

“Yeah, I needed stitches,” Akaashi pointed to a faint scar across the bridge of his nose. “She used the nearest item to attack us with which happened to be a book stop.”

“Jesus!”

“She called us  _ every  _ name in the book. I was fag, loser, disgusting. Bokuto was slut, whore, dog, so on, you get the idea.  _ Then  _ she screamed at him that she’d been sleeping with his teammates for the last  _ two years.” _

_ “What?  _ What did he say to that?”

“He said he didn’t care. He said he’d deal with it later. He just wanted her out so he could bring me to the hospital.”

“Wow.”

Akaashi laughed, partly empty, partly guilty, “Yep. We had it coming, though.”

“I mean, I understand being mad, but assault with a  _ weapon?” _

“I’d do it again,” Akaashi said to his wine. “Every day, if I had to.”

“Go through the assault or the cheating?”

Akaashi shrugged, “Anything I had to.”

“Wow.”

“He’s the love of my life. Probably all of my lives, if you believe in that sort of thing. Bokuto talks about that a lot. It was like his ghost haunted me when he was gone. I couldn’t do anything without seeing him. I couldn’t live that way.”

“I love that.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t already hear about this, honestly. She tore us apart.”

“I try and stay away from gossip,” Iwaizumi shrugged. “It tends to poison you. Just Youtube in general, too.”

“Fair enough,” Akaashi laughed. “Definitely did that for us. The scandal was so bad. The gossip channels _came for me,_ _Keiji Akaashi Home Wrecking Whore: Splits Bokuto Kōtarō and Supermodel Girlfriend._ They made up stories to make it so much worse, too. He almost got suspended from playing. I lost my job.”

“You lost your job?”

Akaashi hummed, “Yeah, for a gossip magazine that relied on people screwing up, it sure was concerned about it’s employees scandals. It was even  _ better  _ when they reported on the situation themselves.”

“That’s so gross.”

“Gratuitous, right? But it was fine because I was gearing up to shift jobs anyways. Fortunately for me, this new job wasn’t so worried about something that’d blow over in two weeks.”

“Really? That’s awesome. Another magazine?”

_ “The  _ magazine.”

Iwaizumi cocked his head, encouraging Akaashi to elaborate.

_ “Vogue.” _

“You work for  _ Vogue?” _

Suddenly it all clicked into place. His strange, but somehow appealing sense of style, his pickiness at the rack clothes, and, okay, Iwaizumi knew that knowing about skin tones wasn’t exactly  _ complicated  _ or indicative of much, but it still impressed him.

Akaashi just smirked around the lip of his glass and Iwaizumi was  _ certain  _ that his admiration was clear as day on his face.

“Can I ask you some really personal questions?” Iwaizumi asked, leaning back on his hand.

“I just got  _ uncomfortably  _ personal with you. I don’t see why not.”

Iwaizumi chuckled lightly, “True. Thanks. You said you were prescribed medication… What was that for, exactly?”

“Major depressive disorder.”

“Oh. Did it get better when you got back with Bokuto?”

Akaashi shook his head, “It got better when I started taking my pills. Being back with Bokuto  _ helped,  _ but I would’ve been able to live again. It wasn’t just pills, though, it was also therapy.”

“But you credit the pills for getting better?”

“They did make all the work I had to do myself seem possible,” Akaashi shrugged.

“They didn’t suck away your soul?”

Akaashi furrowed his brow and tapped his fingers on his glass, “No. I think that’s a misconception. They’re not really this end all, fix all kind of thing, at least in my experience. They’re kind of supposed to help even you out so you can feel human enough to do the real work and get better. They don’t really make me  _ happy,  _ they just make me  _ human.” _

Iwaizumi hummed and went back to drinking his wine, reconsidering the benefits to the medication his doctor wanted him to take. He wasn’t sure  _ why  _ but he trusted Akaashi’s word. He just had an honest and trustworthy aura to him, but it was different from Hinata’s. He felt like Akaashi would say  _ anything,  _ regardless of how mean as long as he thought it’d help you, and Iwaizumi respected the hell out of him for it. Hinata’s honesty was more of an impulse, as if he just didn’t know how to lie.

“I think you may be the coolest person I’ve ever met.”

Akaashi laughed so hard that no sound came out. He took a moment to calm down then pointed at Iwaizumi with his glass, “You work with  _ Olympic athletes _ every single day. I’m  _ not  _ the coolest person you’ve ever met. Trust me.”

“I guess I  _ do  _ know Shōyō. God, I love him so much,” Iwaizumi was  _ really  _ feeling the drunk. He supposed nearly a full bottle of wine just to himself would do that to a person. He checked his phone, it was only two in the afternoon.

_ ‘Oh, god.’ _

“We have practice soon.”

“Oh, right. You should get back.”

“Yeah.”

The waiter came back and they split the bill. They walked through the patio, through the restaurant and made their way back to the front of the shopping centre. They stood and faced each other, both of their hands shoved deeply in their pockets.

“Hey, do you wanna come back to the hotel with me?”

“I didn’t think that was allowed,” Akaashi cocked his head.

“It is if you help us with our practice,” Iwaizumi snorted when he closed his eyes.

“Noted. I don’t have any other clothes on me,” Akaashi looked down to his couture outfit.

“I’m sure we can find you something between  _ all  _ of the many teams we have playing.”

Akaashi laughed and followed him to the bus stop, “Fair enough.”

They didn’t get far before they were stopped by a couple of young girls. Iwaizumi moved off to the side as they fawned over Akaashi and asked for a photo. He watched, wide eyed, as he complied and thanked them. The girls squealed and swooned for a moment longer before moving on, watching him over their shoulders. The tall man moved back to Iwaizumi, adjusting the belt that held his jacket in place.

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry,” Iwaizumi fell back into stride with him. “I’m used to it happening to Hinata.”

“People  _ love  _ him. His sister wants him to come onto her channel so badly.”

“Really?” Iwaizumi frowned at him. “Why wouldn’t she just ask?”

“She knows he’s busy. Plus, I don't think they talk too often, so she doesn’t want to just call him up and ask for a favor. Everyone kind of wants him to come onto their channel. It’d be so good for views. Even Kenma, they’ve had a lot of players on their channel, but they  _ really  _ want to play some games with Hinata.”

“That’d make his year. He should ask, you all should.”

“Yeah?” Akaashi glanced down at him. “Maybe I will, then.”

“Good.”

They waited for the bus in silence, the thoughts of standing beside a  _ cheater  _ haunting all of his nice thoughts about Akaashi. That wasn’t something to take lightly. He was drunk, and whether he liked it or not, his father’s son. The more he thought about it, the hotter his skin got. He was actually getting  _ itchy. _ Cheaters  _ pissed him off. _

“What’s bothering you?”

Iwaizumi blinked up at him, “Uh.”

“Is it the story I told you?”

“Sort of.”

“Which part?”

“The cheating.”

“Oh.”

They stayed quiet for a moment and Akaashi wrapped his arms around himself. Iwaizumi couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth if he tried.

“I’ve been cheated on before. So, I just have a hard time hearing that.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Akaashi looked down again, freeing Iwaizumi from his warm blue gaze. Iwaizumi  _ didn’t  _ want to talk about it, but his mouth certainly did.

“Her name was Emilie. She was French, and she just moved to Miyagi. And she was the most  _ beautiful  _ human I’d ever seen. Up until I saw Hinata, anyways. We met at the beginning of the summer going into our first year of high school. And you know, that’s kind of when you start exploring sexuality and romance and all of that.”

“Sure.”

“I asked her out and for some reason she said  _ yes.  _ Normally I went with Oikawa’s family when they went away in the summertime, but that summer was different. My parents were gone for work and I got to just hang out and  _ sleep  _ with this absolutely  _ beautiful  _ girl for a month straight.”

“Yeah?”

“Then school started again and she asked me to keep our relationship to ourselves. She didn’t want a reputation immediately. I said that’s fair, and we just didn’t tell anyone. Then, she told me she hated Oikawa. She told me it was her or him. And being a young, pussywhipped, idiot child, I agreed again. I pushed Oikawa away.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Then she went away with her family for the weekend. Having no one to talk to, I realized Oikawa never really fought me on it. He never really tried reaching out to me when I pushed him away, which was weird. So I called him. We agreed to meet up and I went to his house for the first time in months. Turns out he  _ also  _ started seeing a girl after school started and even weirder,  _ she also  _ wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Apparently his girlfriend didn’t like me, so he agreed to stay away from me. Sound familiar?”

“She was dating  _ both  _ of you?”

“Was she ever.”

“What happened?”

“We hated each other. Oikawa and I fought. Physically at first, then just regularly after. We didn’t talk for probably four months. Until our team’s captain had enough of us affecting the games. He yelled at us for like,  _ forty  _ minutes. He got us to realize we were supposed to be mad at  _ her  _ because neither of us actually knew what was happening.”

“That’s true.”

“We were friends again. It took all of a week for things to stop being weird between us. But I never trusted women again. Maybe that isn’t fair, but it’s how I feel.”

Akaashi nodded at him, not knowing how to contribute to the conversation. The bus pulled up and Iwaizumi met his eye.

“It’s a terrible feeling… Being cheated on.”

“Yeah, I can only imagine.”

They paid their fare and sat near the back of the bus, a couple of young girls giggling and watching Akaashi closely.

“It hurt me a lot to inflict that sort of pain on another person,” Akaashi kept his voice down, getting as much distance from the girls as possible. “It took a very long time for Bokuto and I to move on from it. Especially when he had to face his teammates again. He still doesn’t get along with them very well, and they hate me. But it’s fine. Honestly, I don’t mind much when people judge me for it. What I did was gross and wrong. But I know that this one small moment in my life doesn’t define me as a person. I made the mistake, came clean, apologized, and I try to make up for it every day.”

“I guess that’s all you can really do.”

Akaashi nodded, “Yeah, me too.”

There was silence for a moment before Iwaizumi started speaking again. The floodgates were open, and he couldn’t stop.

“It was a trend with Oikawa, you know. People tried getting close to me to get closer to him. Now, with Hinata, the same thing is happening. We have friends, but they’re like  _ his  _ friends. It’s a weird, lonely feeling being the  _ ‘star’s’  _ counterpart.”

Akaashi considered him for a moment, “Yeah, but you’re the one they chose.”

“What?”

“That has to say something about who you are. Right? There’s something about you that makes these talented, extroverted people want to be around you. Doesn’t that make you even more special than them?”

“I don’t understand.”

Akaashi sighed as he thought, “It’s just that these special people trust you and want you around them  _ all the time.  _ Those relationships don’t sound exactly  _ casual.  _ I think the person that all the special people choose is more special than them.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know you. I shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“No, I got  _ way too personal  _ earlier. This actually makes me feel better.”

They smiled at each other before looking back at their shoes.

“Thanks.”

“You, too.”

They got back to the hotel and Iwaizumi went to the front desk and returned with a plastic card on a lanyard that read  _ ‘visitor’.  _ Akaashi took it and draped it around his neck. The cheap materials of the lanyard clashed so poorly against his presumably  _ very  _ expensive coat that it made Iwaizumi laugh. He led him through the halls and knocked on Cole’s door.

The libero opened it, “Hey! How was  _ shopping?  _ Great?”

“Yeah, awesome,” Iwaizumi laughed as Cole peeked out from a crack in the door.

“What’s Bokuto’s guy like? Everything we’d expect?”

Iwaizumi gestured vaguely to Akaashi who stood behind him, “He’s pretty cool.”

“Oh,” Cole’s face flushed and he opened the door more so he could see him better, “Whoa.”

“It’s okay,” Akaashi laughed. “I’m used to it.”

Cole looked between them, “Are you  _ Keiji  _ Akaashi _?” _

“Yeah,” Akaashi shook his hand.

“No way, when Hinata said Akaashi I never would’ve thought— Hey, are you  _ drunk?” _

“What?” Iwaizumi balked. “Of course not! It’s only three thirty, why would we be drunk? That’s ridiculous.”

Akaashi cackled harder the longer Iwaizumi deflected for. He eventually laughed so hard he started snorting again. That was too much for Iwaizumi to handle and he broke down, too. Cole watched them wearily before an evil smile crossed his features.

“This is amazing. What do you need?”

“Toby’s clothes.”

“Toby’s  _ what?” _

Iwaizumi pushed inside and looked around for the middle blocker, “I’m pretty sure his would fit Akaashi the best. Where is he?”

Cole watched Akaashi follow Iwaizumi through the room, both giggling, “Why does Akaashi need Toby’s clothes?”

“He’s practicing with us.”

“Okay?”

“Hey, Cole, I just saw this  _ good boy  _ outside. I took a picture so you can—“ Toby looked up from his phone when he heard the giggles. He eyed Akaashi up strangely. “What’s, uh, going on? Who’s the chica?”

“Akaashi needs to borrow your clothes,” Cole smirked, jabbing his thumb in their general direction.

“I have so many questions.”

Cole laughed at Toby’s dumbfounded face, “He’s Bokuto’s  _ boyfriend.  _ Iwaizumi got drunk with him at lunch and he’s joining us for our practice, but needs to borrow clothes.”

“Why can’t he wear Iwaizumi’s clothes?”

“Because Iwaizumi’s clothes wouldn’t fit,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. He gestured to Akaashi, “Tall.”

“By like…  _ two inches.” _

“Toby, just lend him some clothes,” Cole rolled his eyes.

“Why can’t  _ you  _ lend him clothes?”

“Short,” Cole pointed at Akaashi, “Skinny.”

_ “You’re skinny!” _

Toby sighed and moved to his suitcase and got out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and passed them to Akaashi, eyes lingering on his painted fingernails and many rings, “Please don’t get makeup on them.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not budging,” Akaashi gave him his warmest smile.

Toby nodded and Iwaizumi thanked them and said goodbye as they left the room. The second the door was shut, Akaashi’s expression fell and he rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t like him.”

“Yeah, he’s a bit  _ traditional,”  _ Iwaizumi said. “He isn’t a bad guy, though.”

“Whatever,” Akaashi looked down at the clothes in his hands. “Can I borrow something from you? I was too embarrassed to reject him in there, but I don’t want to wear these.”

“Oh, sure,” Iwaizumi led him instead to his own room. “I guess I didn’t realize that you’re actually not that much taller than me. But, my clothes will still be too big on you. You  _ are  _ pretty thin.”

“That’s fine.”

They got to his room and Iwaizumi got him a basic outfit and traded Akaashi for Toby’s. He cursed as they were going to be late. He rushed Akaashi down to the gym, laughing all the way at how stupid they were.

They ran into the gym, where Hinata, Goshiki, Bokuto, Ushijima, Ryan, Oikawa, Sacha and Atsumu all stood around, laughing and shouting.

“Hey!” Iwaizumi shouted.

Hinata beamed over at him, “Hi!”

_ “AKAASHI!”  _ Bokuto screamed as he ran over and scooped him into his arms.

Akaashi wrapped his arms tightly around him and captured his mouth in a kiss, melting Iwaizumi’s heart. Hinata took his hand and he looked down. He pressed his lips to Hinata’s and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Did you have a good day?”

Hinata nodded, staring at him with an open look of pure affection, “Did you?”

“Yes. Akaashi really took me by surprise.”

“Bokuto got all worried that you two would fall in love. That took up most of my afternoon.”

Iwaizumi laughed loudly and glanced back at the happy couple, reunited, “No, I don’t think there’s anyone else for those two.”

Hinata leaned up and kissed him again and Iwaizumi took a moment to fully appreciate it before he felt someone slap him on the back. He whipped around and had to crane far back to look up at Sacha.

“What’s this, Hinata? You hookin’ up with your boss? Didn’t know you had it in you!”

His accent was so thick that Iwaizumi almost couldn’t understand him. He looked down at Hinata as he laughed.

“This is my fiance! We got together in high school!”

“High school?”

“Well,  _ I  _ was in high school. Back then, he was in college!”

Sacha laughed, “College guy, huh? Didn’t know you had it in you!”

“You have  _ no idea  _ what I have in me!” Hinata shouted, the words absolutely not coming out how he intended.

Sacha just laughed and pushed him by the shoulder, “Maybe someday. When you’re done playing house with your high school sweetheart and are ready to sow your wild oats.”

Iwaizumi felt  _ unparalleled  _ anger at the brazen attempt to pick up his fiance, but Hinata got to it before he could start yelling.

“Not cool. Move on.”

Iwaizumi looked down at him before glaring back at Sacha. The tall setter just laughed and waved his hand dismissively, “Just having some fun. Loosen up.”

Before Iwaizumi could retort, Hinata butted in again.

“No, definitely not! That’s so disrespectful! I thought you were better than that.”

Iwaizumi’s soul rested easy knowing he had the most  _ amazing  _ fiance, but still flared with anger as he watched Sacha.

“Okay, I apologize.”

“Thank you.”

Iwaizumi kept his mouth shut and felt better when Sacha walked away. He couldn’t wait to see Hinata absolutely  _ destroy  _ him in their game. Canada was on the upswing? Irrelevant. He looked around at the mixed company and checked the clock. Practice was supposed to have started by then.

“Where is everyone?”

“What do you mean?”

Iwaizumi looked down at Hinata, “Practice?”

“We don’t have practice today, Iwa…”

“We don’t?”

Hinata slowly shook his head, “No. Coach wanted us to use today to rest and get our stuff done for Tony.”

“Oh.”

Hinata pressed into his front and straightened the collar to his shirt and lowered his voice, “I mean… We can practice something else… If you wanted.”

The wine still played at Iwaizumi and he pulled him closer by his waistband, “Yeah?”

“Yes, I’m done waiting,” Hinata pulled him down a bit so he could whisper in his ear,  _ “Mr. Hajime.” _

A chill tore down his spine and right as he was about to respond, he was hit in the shoulder with a volleyball. He looked over and Oikawa glared at him through the net.

«You’re in a public space you despicable pervert!»

«Suck an egg, Shittykawa!»

«Suck an egg?» Oikawa’s face moved from shock to pure delight before dying from laughter. «You’re such a loser! How do you even get laid?»

Hinata cackled, «Hard and fast.»

Oikawa’s laugh died nearly immediately, «Disgusting. Go change! We’re playing!»

«What?» Hinata asked. «But coach wil—»

«Don’t you want to play  _ at all  _ while you’re here?» Oikawa snapped before looking at Iwaizumi. «Go change.»

He looked down at Toby’s clothes in his hand and shrugged. He tapped Akaashi on the back as he passed, indicating for him to follow. They went into the small change room off of the gym and Iwaizumi pulled his shirt off. Akaashi undid his belt and slid his jacket off, revealing a sleeveless turtleneck. His arms were so  _ thin _ that Iwaizumi couldn’t believe he’d ever been a setter. He looked away and continued changing his clothes.

“I doubt this will go well,” Akaashi laughed.

Iwaizumi looked back at him as he hung his coat and shirt up on the hooks so they wouldn’t crease. He could see all of his ribs. Individually. He seemed to have nearly no muscle mass at all. It was like he never ate, but he seemed to do well at lunch.

“Why?”

“I haven’t so much as touched a volleyball in… When did I graduate? Five years ago? Five years. I doubt it’ll come back naturally.”

Iwaizumi frowned as he changed into his shorts, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Akaashi removed all of his jewelry, including his maybe  _ seven hundred  _ earrings, and placed them under his folded pants. He shrugged and looked down to his feet.

“Oh, shoes.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi looked at his own socks. “What size are you?”

“Fourteen.”

_ “Fourteen?”  _ Iwaizumi looked down at his feet before glancing him over. “Well,  _ I  _ certainly don’t have shoes you can borrow. Maybe one of the giants on my team does, though.”

Akaashi laughed at him, “Thanks.”

Iwaizumi shook his head and texted Cole for his shoes. He frowned at the screen when Cole informed him he was actually a size sixteen. He texted Jackson, avoiding Toby’s contact, and smiled as he got a response with a size fifteen and a confirmation that he’d bring the shoes as well as Iwaizumi’s.

“Not to make it gay, but I pity all of your significant others.”

“What?” Akaashi barked.

“Like, Cole’s a size  _ sixteen.  _ Jesus.”

“Well, what size are you?”

“Ten.”

“You’re so lucky!” Akaashi smiled at his feet.

_ “Lucky?” _

“Yeah! It doesn’t really affect me anymore because I custom order all of my clothes, but I used to not be able to go and find just any shoes in my size. So, you’re pretty lucky.”

“I never thought about that.”

Akaashi pulled his borrowed shorts up and they slumped around his hips. He reached into his coat pocket and removed a pack of safety pins and used one to secure the shorts tightly around himself.

He shook the pack at Iwaizumi with a smile, “You never know, you know?”

“Right.”

They went out into the gym and waited for Jackson to show up with their shoes. When he did show up, Leilani followed behind him. The second they saw Akaashi, they stopped dead in their tracks and their jaws dropped.

“Is that…” Jackson broke off.

“I think—“ Leilani dropped the shoes and covered her mouth.

Iwaizumi moved forward and picked up his shoes from the floor and started tying them up. Akaashi sheepishly took the shoes from Jackson, who remained unmoving and thanked him quietly.

“Keiji Akaashi?” Jackson’s voice was unnaturally high.

“Uh, hi?” Akaashi smiled at him, and Iwaizumi swore he saw the guy’s soul leave his body.

When Jackson or Leilani made absolutely no effort to move, they just made their way back to the group. Before Iwaizumi got too far, Leilani grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him in.

“How do  _ you  _ know Keiji Akaashi?” She whispered harshly.

“Bokuto asked me to take him shopping.”

_ “You  _ got to go  _ shopping  _ with  _ Keiji Akaashi?” _

“Uh, yes? How do  _ you  _ know Akaashi?”

“I’ve watched him online for  _ years.  _ I’m in  _ love  _ with him,” Leilani watched Akaashi as he spoke quietly with Hinata. “You guys have just been  _ friends  _ with him this entire time?”

“Hinata’s known him since high school, but I just met him.”

She groaned loudly, “Hinata knows the coolest people and  _ doesn’t even realize it.  _ I can’t believe he’s been hiding this from me!”

“Speaking of hiding stuff from people,” he put his hand on her arm to catch her attention. “Who are  _ you  _ sleeping with?”

“What?” She pulled away. “Who told you that?”

“Hinata may have heard something while getting a late snack last night,” Iwaizumi mumbled.

She groaned loudly and slapped her forehead, “Ugh. Of course he did.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi said. “You’re being safe, though, right?”

“I promise,” she weaved their pinkies together, then pointed to Akaashi. “Think you can introduce me?”

“Sure!”

“Me too?” Jackson whispered from behind them.

“Of course,” Iwaizumi slapped his back. “Just try and be normal, okay? He’s just a guy.”

He brought them over to Akaashi who looked awkwardly at them.

“Hey, Akaashi, these are my friends Leilani and Jackson. They’re fans of yours.”

“Hi,” Leilani stretched her hands out and giggled. “I’ve watched you for probably… four years now! I think you’re incredible!”

Jackson couldn’t even form an actual english word. He just whimpered pathetically and Iwaizumi slapped his hand on his own cheek and turned away.

“Hey!” Akaashi smiled. “Good to meet you guys! Thank you for supporting me!”

Iwaizumi briefly wondered how often he really had to deal with situations like that. After their lunch he felt he had a good grasp on what his  _ real  _ smile and laugh looked like, and it certainly wasn’t what was on his face in that moment.

«Are we playing or what?» Oikawa shouted.

«Yes, sorry,» Akaashi bowed to him.

Iwaizumi looked Leilani up and down, taking in her athletic clothes, “You playing too?”

“If it’s okay!”

“Sure.”

They split into two teams, the other setters backing down so Akaashi could take his most familiar position. Sacha had left entirely at some point and Iwaizumi was very grateful for the fact. Oikawa bounced the ball loudly before serving. Iwa could tell he went easy on it because Leilani was receiving. Bokuto waited eagerly, having not spiked a ball Akaashi set for him in several years.

She dug it up and sent it up to Akaashi who looked like a puddle of nerves. His hands actually shook as he reached up to toss the ball. The ball grazed his fingers and fell into the net. They all looked at the ball as it rolled down to his feet. He hummed at it, unimpressed.

He threw it back to Oikawa and Iwaizumi made eye contact with Leilani. She nodded and they switched spots. Oikawa bounced the ball and served again, significantly rougher since Iwaizumi was then receiving.

Iwaizumi got it easily, many years of muscle memory taking over. It was the perfect receive. Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, who mouthed something to him, then stared back at the ball with new intensity. He jumped and made contact with the ball, sending it Bokuto’s way. It was a bit low, but Bokuto jumped and spiked it hard against Ushijima’s block, smashing it against his hand and sending it out of bounds.

Bokuto landed on the ground and screamed ecstatically,  _ “Akaashi!” _

The hitter scooped the setter up into his arms and spun him around, showering him in compliments.

“You faced your fears! You’re so brave! You did it! You’re so talented! So amazing! You looked so beautiful when you did it! Now we can play volleyball all the time again! I love you so much! You’re perfect!”

“Wait, what’d you say?” Akaashi pushed him on his chest.

“What?”

“What’d you say just now?”

Bokuto put him down and looked away, “That we can play volleyball again?”

“No, the other thing.”

“That…” Bokuto peeked at him then mumbled quickly and quietly, “That I love you.”

“Really?”

“Maybe…” Bokuto glanced back at him again. “Yes?”

Akaashi threw himself into his arms and hugged him tightly, “I love you, too.”

Hinata materialized at Iwaizumi’s side, counting on his fingers, “Are you telling me that they’ve been together for almost eight years and have never said  _ ‘I love you’?” _

“It’s a long story,” Iwaizumi mumbled, not really understanding it either.

“Bokuto tells me all the time how much he loves Akaashi. I don’t believe that he’s never told him directly,” Hinata frowned.

“I’m not sure. But,” Iwaizumi looked down at Hinata, “I think we’re the last people who should talk about communication.”

Hinata cackled loudly, “Yeah. You’re right.”

They watched Ryan argue with Bokuto for disrupting the game for a moment before Hinata leaned into Iwaizumi, who leaned down to hear him whisper.

“Have you noticed that Ushijima and Leilani are in the same room and things are just  _ fine?” _

“Oh,” Iwaizumi looked up, “No, I didn’t.”

“You don’t think… That what I heard…” Hinata gestured vaguely in front of him.

“What? No, I really don’t. But she  _ was  _ secretive about who she was with. But it could also be Goshiki. Or Cole, or someone we couldn’t even guess. It’s not exactly like she has to  _ seek  _ men out.”

Hinata hummed before taking Iwaizumi’s hand, “I heard you looked at wedding rings today.”

“Yeah, we did,” Iwaizumi smiled at him.

“I also heard you don’t know the first thing about shopping.”

Iwaizumi frowned before groaning, “Yeah! No one told me he works for  _ Vogue!  _ Let me tell you how embarrassing  _ that  _ was when I found out.”

Hinata laughed at him for far too long before pulling out his phone, “Bokuto thought that was funny.”

“Why did he need me to get intel? The guy was wearing like  _ seven  _ rings, I’m sure Bokuto  _ knows  _ what kind of rings he likes!”

“We were trying to get rid of you.”

“What?”

Hinata laughed, put his phone away, and nudged him with his elbow, “I’m just kidding. Apparently Akaashi was going crazy spending so much time with Kuroo.”

“What’s wrong with Kuroo?”

“From what I heard, it’s more about his girlfriend than it is about him.”

“Oh, does he not like her?”

“No, Boktuo said that he can’t even  _ look  _ at her. I guess it’s mostly her appearance.”

_ “What?”  _ Iwaizumi stared at the back of Akaashi’s head. “That’s so rude!”

“Right? Bokuto thought it was hilarious, I didn’t get it. He told me I’d have to wait and see for myself.”

Iwaizumi looked down at Hinata when he felt his hand slide up his side under his shirt. Something awoke inside of him, and he turned and hoisted Hinata up and began carrying him away.

«Where are you going?» Oikawa shouted. «We were just about to start again!»

«No, I’m not waiting anymore!» Iwaizumi laughed over his shoulder.

Hinata tucked his face into Iwaizumi’s neck, both an act of affection  _ and  _ evasion and Iwaizumi had flashbacks to their first  _ real  _ interaction. They’d really come such a long way.

«You two are insatiable! Disgusting!» Oikawa shouted after them.

«We sure are!»

«I love it, though,» Hinata chuckled into his neck, sending shivers down Iwaizumi’s spine.

«I love you so much. You’re perfect,» Iwaizumi muttered in his ear.

«I love you, too,» Hinata smiled into his skin.


	15. Reverse Tempo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING:  
> this contains porn

Hinata rocked on his heels as he shook his hands out. His jersey felt very heavy on his skin despite its lightweight design. He stood with their coach and their team, trying his best to listen, but the music and chatter around him was drowning his senses.

“Hinata!” The coach snapped in his face. “Don’t crack on us now!”

He blinked at his coach and looked around at his teammates who all stared at him, concern evident on their faces. A gigantic smile broke his features.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so excited!”

Cole smiled back at him and bumped his fist, “We’re going to win this.”

“Yeah!” The rest of the team shouted.

_ “We are now commencing the third game of the semifinals. The United States of America versus Canada. Introducing the starting lineup for Canada.” _

Hinata couldn’t describe the slew of emotions that took him, but they made his body jittery and hot. Iwaizumi slapped him on the chest.

“You’ve worked for this! You’ll be amazing!”

“Come on guys,” Ryan shouted. “Hands in!”

They all put their hands in the centre of their huddle and counted down from three, breaking at the end.

“What team?” Ryan shouted.

_ “Wildcats! Get your head in the game!” _

_ “Now introducing the starting lineup for the United states of America. Number one, Ryan Nyholm. Number two, Jackson Wright. Number four, Robert Anderson. Number five, Toby Garcia. Number eight, Noah Clark. Number nine, Shōyō Hinata. Number seven, libero, Cole Horowitz.” _

Hinata ran out onto the court after Noah and was brought into a warm embrace from his team. He looked up into the crowd of people, feeling  _ different. _

_ “Shōyō!” _

He looked down to the bottom of the stands where Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi all stood, decked out in spirit wear for his team, weirder than that  _ Suna  _ stood beside Kenma. He beamed and waved at them. He noticed some of their competitors behind them, eagerly waiting to observe Hinata. Kageyama caught his eye and smirked at him, and was that  _ Kunimi  _ next to him? What the hell? Ryan slapped his back and directed him to his position.

_ “All rise for the teams’ national anthems.” _

The room went silent and a large orchestral rendition of  _ The Star Spangled Banner  _ began playing. Hinata had heard it many times already in the Olympics but it hit differently when he was the one out on the court with his hand over his heart. To his astonishment, Canada began singing the lyrics to their anthem.

He glanced over, and the rest of his team sang along with them. So, he joined in, shiteating grin over his mouth.

_ O say can you see by the dawn's early light _

_ What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming _

_ Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight _

_ O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? _

_ And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air _

_ Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there _

_ O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave _

_ O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave _

Their anthem ended and the orchestra moved into  _ O’ Canada. _

Hinata wanted to sing along with the rest of the teams, but he didn’t know the words. He just listened, doing his best to pretend he knew it.

_ O Canada! _

_ Our home and native land! _

_ True patriot love in all of us command. _

He thought he was doing well until they flipped the script and started singing in  _ French.  _ He couldn’t even pretend to pretend to know what they were saying.

_ Car ton bras sait porter l'épée, _

_ Il sait porter la croix! _

_ Ton histoire est une épopée _

_ Des plus brillants exploits. _

_ God keep our land glorious and free! _

_ O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. _

_ O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. _

Their hands fell from their hearts and they stretched out their limbs, staring the other team down. Canada looked intense. Hinata didn’t feel afraid of them, though. Upswing or not, he was going to beat them. There was no other way the story could play out.

_ “Captains?” _

Ryan and Sacha both moved in front of the referee before shaking hands and saying things that Hinata couldn’t make out. It wasn’t great, judging by the wide smile on Ryan’s face. He only wore that smile when he was deeply flustered.

_ “The battle of the North American neighbors! Singing each other’s anthems to show their support for the other then quickly demonstrating their determination to take the gold with their depositions. First serve goes to Sacha Kotov for Canada!” _

Sacha moved back and bounced the ball a few times then exhaled largely. He made very direct eye contact with Ryan, smiled evilly and pointed at him, ball in hand.

_ “A direct callout to Nyholm. Will they be able to control a Kotov serve?” _

The whistle blew and Sacha threw the ball up, ran and hit the ball with a force anyone off of the court probably couldn’t process. Ryan followed the ball closely and moved a step and a half to the left and lowered into the force, absorbing it totally with his entire body. Hinata panicked for a moment, because Ryan made the first touch. Who would make the toss?

He ran toward the net, watching the ball. Cole ran forward, evidently frustrated with Ryan for giving into the bait. He jumped just before the attack line and set the ball, the middle hitters jumping but swinging at nothing, allowing the ball to slap into Hinata’s hand with the most  _ satisfying ‘twack’.  _ The ball shot to the far end of Canada’s court, hitting the line.

The second his feet hit the floor, Cole already had him in a bear hug then noogied his head.

_ “Hell ya, Shōyō!” _

_ “The USA takes a difficult situation and showcases Horowitz’s roots as a setter! The most anticipated player of the year Shōyō Hinata taking the first point from Canada!” _

“Amazing, Shō baby!” Ryan high fived him.

“Don’t take their bait next time, idiot!” Cole rounded on him. “You gave them exactly what they wanted!”

“What happened to ‘ _ you have my back’?”  _ Ryan rolled his eyes. “We got the point either way, move on.”

_ “Next serve goes to Wright.” _

Hinata exhaled and beamed. He was  _ so  _ excited. His hand tingled with the unparalleled pain of a good spike. It was the best type of pain, he was convinced.

They went into overtime in every set, by a lot. They were tied at two and two in the fifth set. Hinata’s body felt just about ready to quit, but his brain told it to  _ shut the hell up.  _ He was finally on the court and he wasn’t going anywhere. They had a three point lead on Canada, only one away from set point.  _ Game point. _

Toby bounced the ball and then spun it in his hands. He was  _ drenched  _ in sweat and he gave off such an intense and focused energy that seeped into Hinata’s skin.

The whistle blew and Toby delivered a textbook jump float. The other team got it and sent it to Sacha, who set it to their middle blocker, a move that’d become predictable throughout the game. Hinata jumped to block him, his legs and arms  _ screaming.  _ Panic flooded his senses when the middle blocker smirked at him and swung at nothing.

_ “Left!”  _ Hinata screamed, urging himself to land faster so he could assist.

He didn’t make it in time and cursed as the ball landed harshly beside him. His head snapped up and he glared at Sacha, who applauded the play. The bastard. He could’ve  _ sworn  _ he would be passing to the middle blocker. Everything pointed to it.

He moved back into his position and watched Sacha gear up to serve. He  _ wouldn’t  _ let him get another point. The whistle blew and Sacha wound up very far, swinging his arm out and served the ball… lightly. It fell towards the front of the court, and their defenses were too far back, anticipating a wild serve. Rob’s hand fell just short of where the ball landed. He glared up at where Sacha smiled and accepted his teammates congratulations.

_ “A beautiful ace for Kotov in the last hour! Canada is only one behind, now! Can they catch up? Will they prove that Canada is better off for trading Nyholm two years back?” _

Hinata glanced at Ryan, who looked entirely emotionless. Noah swapped out with Cole, needing better defense. Ryan hummed lowly and tore his eyes away from Sacha, lowering into a defensive position after taking a half step forward.

“Don’t let them take this!” Ryan yelled. “Don’t get comfortable! You don’t know what’s next!”

“Yeah!”

“That ball will not touch our court!” Ryan screamed.

Hinata watched him closely before turning his attention back to Sacha.

The whistle blew again and Sacha moved forward, delivering his classic spike serve. Ryan moved as though he’d received that serve forty times a day since the day he was born. Cole shook his head, his exasperation overshadowed by his relief that the receive happened at all, even if it was by Ryan. They all rushed forward, prepared to attack with everything they had. Cole jumped just before the attack line, and his eyes widened as he saw Hinata was already ahead of him. Instinctually, he wanted to set to him, he really did. He  _ almost  _ did. In the last second he sent the set behind him to Toby, who jumped and slammed it over the net. Their blockers were all over it, sending it back. Rob stuck his foot out and got it right before it touched the floor, but sent it down court. Cole was in motion almost before it even got up in the air. Hinata’s heart ceased when Ryan  _ also  _ went after it. The setter dived and pancaked his hand on the floor, Cole unable to stop his momentum. He jumped at the very last second, toes dragging across Ryan’s back as he sent the ball back, Toby getting under it and sending it back to Canada.

_ “An amazing play! We’re all lucky to be in the presence of Nyholm and Horowitz today! They just narrowly avoided tragedy and turned it into something beautiful!” _

Canada went through the motions, using a back attack, and Rob dived under it, getting it back to Ryan.

Hinata saw it all in slow motion: The ball soaring over to the setter, Ryan staring at the ball, never moving his eyes off of it, his entire team moving around him, charging the net. His team was fast, but he was faster. He separated from the pack, making his intentions clear. Canada’s blockers looked conflicted. Hinata was clearly running to make the spike, but the ball wasn’t in Ryan’s hands yet, surely his feet would be on the floor again before the set was made. Ryan wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at Toby. Ryan took a small step forward, his first real indication of his intentions, and Canada’s blockers ate it up. They rushed to cover Toby as he jumped. The second the ball touched Ryan’s fingers, it was gone again, nothing more than a glitch in everyone’s vision. The ball flew behind Ryan, as he stepped forward, and slammed against Hinata’s hand and into the floor right in front of Sacha.

The room stopped breathing as Hinata landed. He looked down at his hand, then at the scoreboard as it changed. 

15-13

The gymnasium erupted. The noise was deafening and Hinata’s emotions were unreadable, too intense to really be felt. His hands shook as he stared back down at them.

_ “What  _ was _ that? Incredible! It was as though the United States reversed time with that quick attack! Unlike anything I’d ever seen!” _

Hinata let out a shaky breath, then screamed. He clenched his fists and continued yelling as his team brought him into a tight embrace. They all shouted about their victory, none of them really processing what just happened.

_ “The United States moves forward to fight against Brazil tomorrow! 15-13 here today in an epic showdown of these North American rivals, Nyhlom proving his worth to both teams! Shōyō Hinata is definitely one to watch, bringing the United States the win in only his third professional match!” _

Cole fully lifted Hinata up onto his shoulders as they celebrated. Hinata wanted to cry as he held onto Cole’s shirt with one hand, throwing the other up in a fist. That was the best feeling  _ ever.  _ Nothing else would feel as good. Not unless it was beating Kageyama. He couldn’t wait to play again.

Cole carried Hinata all the way off the court as the men around him chanted,  _ ‘USA, USA, USA!’  _ Hinata wanted to chant with them but he was laughing so hard that he couldn’t breathe. Nothing could shatter his mood. They got back to the rest of their team where they were once again swallowed in warm celebration. Iwaizumi slipped Hinata off of Cole’s shoulders and spun him around, capturing him in a very loving kiss and embrace.

“You were… It was like! I—“

Hinata kissed him again, “I know!”

They celebrated with their team for a moment longer before the coach quieted them down.

_ “Amazing! Just amazing! I’m so proud of you boys!” _

They applauded for the sentiment, and the coach pulled Ryan and Cole down by their necks, holding them close.

_ “My boys! So incredible!  _ Go get changed! We’re celebrating this one!”

They shouted their confirmation and moved to change. The second the change room door shut, Cole shoved Ryan harshly from behind.

Ryan steadied himself with one hand on the far wall and glared back at him, “What the  _ hell  _ is your issue?”

Hinata moved forward to stop the confrontation, but Jackson held him back with a hand on his chest. Hinata looked up at him and he just shook his head. He looked forward and watched on anxiously.

Cole didn’t let up and stormed up to him, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him close, “What the  _ fuck  _ is  _ your  _ issue?”

“What are you talking about?” Ryan snapped, shoving him.

Cole grabbed onto him again and shook him, “Why did you go after that ball? Are you the dumbest fuck to ever live?”

“Someone needed to get it!” Ryan got right back in his face.

“Yeah,  _ me!  _ That’s  _ my  _ job! Not  _ yours!” _

Ryan growled and shoved Cole off of him, “You’re so selfish!”

_ “I’m  _ selfish?” Cole laughed, pointing at his chest before shoving Ryan again. _ “You _ are selfish! I could’ve gotten hurt! Badly! Then what?”

_ “What?”  _ Ryan screamed.

“What happened to trusting me? What happened to you ‘know what I’m capable of’? Why don’t you trust me, fucker?”

“I  _ do  _ trust you! I just wanted to help!” Ryan snapped, standing toe to toe with Cole. “We’re a team! If someone else can get a ball, they  _ should.  _ And you  _ didn’t  _ get hurt! Okay?”

“I don’t give a singular  _ fuck  _ if I got hurt or not  _ this time!  _ You could’ve ended my entire professional career you  _ stupid fucking idiot!” _

Cole shoved Ryan again, and Ryan threw his hands to the side before finally having enough. He pushed Cole with all of his strength, sending him onto the floor. He stood over him and grabbed him by the shirt, yelling directly into his face.

_ “I am not adjusting  _ my  _ game so your dumb ass can live without taking a fucking risk! It never fucking matters to you, Horowitz! You’ve never acted like you’re on this team, so don’t you dare talk to me about your career! It’s always just been a job to you!” _

Cole slapped him across the face, yelling right back,  _ “I don’t give a  _ flying fuck  _ about  _ your game,  _ Nyholm! I don’t want to never play again! I want to stay on the court! With you! With all of you! This isn’t just a job, or a game, this is my  _ fucking life!  _ Understand?” _

“What?” Ryan’s anger fell off of his face and his grip on Cole’s shirt went slack.

“You should understand that better than anyone. Volleyball is everything to me, and if  _ you  _ were the one to take it away, then...”

“I—“

“You’re supposed to be my  _ friend,  _ asshole! Why don't you care?”

Ryan stood and looked down at him. He considered Cole for a long moment, who never dropped his glare and made no effort to stand up. He finally looked away and scoffed.

“Whatever. Stand up,  _ friend.” _

Ryan offered a hand down to Cole, who took it with a large clasping noise. The setter hoisted the libero up and walked away from him.

“Learn to express yourself like a human.”

“Ouch, coming from you,” Cole teased as they started changing out of their jerseys.

Hinata looked between them, shocked at the speed of both the confrontation and the recovery. They were constantly at each other’s throats when they were on the court. Ryan’s cheek glowed bright red where Cole hit him and both of their chests were irritated where they kept shoving each other, but they smiled as they changed and discussed playing Brazil the next day.

“—Not go soft on ‘em.”

“Nah, Oikawa’s going down.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“It’s not  _ my  _ fault that so many competetive phrases sound like sex jargon.”

“It  _ is  _ your fault that you’re a dumbass, though.”

Hinata folded his jersey and briefly wondered if that’s how everyone else felt when he and Kageyama would fight back in high school. Did that make  _ him  _ the Daichi? He wasn’t ready to be a dad.

They all shouldered their bags and gathered together, saying nothing, but their smiles said it all. 

They walked together out to the lobby of the gymnasium where Hinata was engulfed in a hug from behind. He beamed and turned to look at Kenma.

“You did amazing! You’re so much better than you used to be! And that quick attack. That was insane,” Akaashi gushed.

“Thank you!”

«That setter is crazy,» Kenma glanced at Ryan, quickly averting their gaze when Ryan looked back at them. «I could never tell what his next move would be.»

«That’s a huge compliment coming from them,» Kuroo pointed at Kenma.

«Right?» Hinata exclaimed. «He’s the best, for sure!»

«Even better than Kageyama?» Akaashi balked, never thinking he’d see the day Hinata admitted there was better than Kageyama.

«Yeah, I’d have to say so! Better than  _ anyone!» _

«I’d be more insulted if I wasn’t so impressed,» Kageyama said from behind him. «You can actually receive a ball. Good job.»

Hinata turned and looked at his friend, prepared to fight when his brain malfunctioned as he saw him holding hands with  _ Kunimi Akira. _ He just stared at their clasped hands for a long moment before looking into his smirk.

«What?» Kageyama asked.

«I-» Hinata looked back at their hands. «How?»

Kageyama shrugged, «Long story.»

«It’s too weird,» Hinata shook his head.

«Says the one who randomly started dating Iwaizumi Hajime,» Kunimi mumbled.

«What about Iwaizumi Hajime?» Iwaizumi materialized at Hinata’s side.

«Iwa!» Hinata exclaimed, «This is Kenma and Kuroo!»

Iwaizumi nodded at them and shook their hands. He took in Kenma’s long hair, ripped jeans with fishnet leggings and painted nails.

«I heard you’re on Youtube,» he said to Kenma.

«Oh,» Kenma said flatly. «Yeah.»

«That’s pretty cool.»

«Hey, Iwaizumi,» Kunimi greeted.

Iwaizumi beamed at him, but faltered when he saw his hand joined with Kageyama, «That’s weird.»

Kunimi and Kageyama both rolled their eyes. They unclasped their hands and folded their arms.

«That was freaky,» Kuroo took a step back.

Before they could retort, Suna approached the group and put a hand on Kenma’s back before presenting them with a bottle of  _ Pepsi Zero.  _ Kenma took it with a small smile.

«Thank you.»

«No problem.»

Iwaizumi stared around the group for a moment, no one saying anything. Kuroo watched Suna out of the corner of his eye, Kunimi and Kageyama both kept their arms crossed and Kenma just sipped on their soda. Iwaizumi's phone rang and he took it out of his pocket, frowned at the screen and shook his head.

“Okay, well,  _ have fun,”  _ Iwaizumi kissed Hinata on the temple. “We’re going to dinner soon.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there!”

Suna watched him go before turning to Kenma, «I’m going to find my team. We’re playing soon.»

«Okay, good luck.»

«You’re going to watch, right?»

«Obviously,» Kenma rolled their eyes.

Suna pursed his lips before looking around the group and pressing a chaste kiss to their cheek, «Love you.»

«You too,» Kenma scrunched up their face and scrubbed at their cheek where Suna kissed.

«I’ll come with you,» Kageyama kissed the top of Kunimi’s head before they walked away.

Kunimi and Kenma stared after the boys with a small smile. Hinata looked between them and his rivals.

«You guys wanna come to dinner?»

«Sure,» Kenma said at the same time as Kunimi said, «I can’t.»

«I’m going to watch the game,» he gestured to the gymnasium before excusing himself and leaving.

“What about you guys?” Hinata asked Akaashi.

“Yeah, I’m good to go,” Akaashi said.

«I am  _ so  _ hungry. I hope it isn’t a vegetarian place,» Kuroo laughed.

Hinata gestured for them to follow and met up with Iwaizumi who seemed to be arguing with someone on the phone. He frowned as Iwaizumi caught a glimpse of Hinata and rushed the end of his conversation.

«I have to go. I don’t have time for this. I’m over it. Officially.»

He pocketed his phone and wrapped an arm around Hinata.

“Who was that?”

“My loving mother.”

“Oh,” Hinata frowned deeper. “She actually called you?”

“Yeah. She wanted to know the date of the wedding again. She just needed an excuse to revoke her promise to attend, which is honestly fine with me.”

“Oh.”

They walked along the sidewalk for a bit before Hinata spoke again, “Where do you want to go?”

“We’re all meeting at  _ Kikkō.” _

“Oh, that’s cool!” Akaashi shouted, catching up.

“Where’s Bokuto?” Iwaizumi asked.

“He’s held up with practice and team stuff,” Akaashi rolled his eyes and slid his hands in his pockets.

“What’s wrong with that?” Hinata asked.

“Don’t worry,” Akaashi said glumly.

Iwaizumi glanced over at him and Hinata stared between them before shrugging. They made their way to the restaurant with Hinata falling back to talk to Kenma and Kuroo while Iwaizumi and Akaashi engaged in quiet conversation. Hinata watched them, not remembering the last time Iwaizumi seemed so relaxed in the company of someone he barely knew. He wondered if that  _ ever  _ happened.

Iwaizumi said something that made Akaashi laugh and the taller man smacked him across the arm, getting a hearty laugh from the shorter man. Hinata smiled at them, just happy Iwaizumi was actually happy, but also wondered when Akaashi had loosened up. He used to be so severe.

They got inside the building and easily found the rest of their team, and sat once another table was pulled over. Akaashi followed Iwaizumi to where he was sitting, and Iwaizumi pulled out his chair for him. Hinata sat across from them and between Kenma and Cole, mentally remarking on how much of a gentleman his fiance was. Toby sat on the other side of Iwaizumi and stared at Kenma for a moment.

They all ordered their drinks and opened their menus, Kenma discussing with Kuroo on how they had to go back to the gymnasium to watch Suna’s game, so they’d just share whatever Kuroo got. The waiter brought their drinks and they ordered.

Hinata noticed Leilani, Cole and Jackson all staring at Akaashi who slunk further in his seat. He kicked Iwaizumi under the table and gestured to them with his head inquisitively. Iwaizumi just dismissed him with his hand, mouthing that he’d tell him later.

«If we spoke Japanese they wouldn’t understand,» Hinata smiled hopefully.

«Wow, I can’t believe I forgot about that! They’re all in love with Akaashi.»

«What? Why?» Hinata glanced at Akaashi sheepishly. «No offense.»

Akaashi took a turn to dismiss him with his hand then removed a different, but equally impressive jacket as the day before, «I’m an internet personality.»

«Really? That’s so cool!»

Iwaizumi hid his frown behind his hand. He really didn’t know that? He supposed he couldn’t keep up with  _ all  _ of his friends, because he had a lot of them. 

Hinata turned to Kenma, «Are you dating Suna?»

«What? No.»

Hinata furrowed his brow at them before starting slowly, «But you said you love him!»

«I  _ do  _ love him,» Kenma stared down at their nails, chipping the polish.

Hinata looked at Kuroo, who just shrugged, before looking back at Kenma, «So then what  _ are  _ you guys?»

Kenma shrugged, «If we  _ had  _ to put a label on it I guess it’d be called a queerplatonic relationship.»

«Oh, cool. What is that?»

«Basically, we’re just committed friends.»

That made absolutely no sense to Hinata, but the topic seemed to make Kenma uncomfortable so he dropped it. Luckily for them, the food arrived at the most perfect moment. The waiter placed the food at their designated spots and they all bowed and thanked him for the food.

Iwaizumi leaned across the table and poked Hinata’s food with his chopsticks, “Good, heavy on the fish. Proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Hinata smiled at him.

Iwaizumi was about to say something when Akaashi tapped on his shoulder. He leaned back and listened to whatever hushed thing he had to say before nodding and pushing his plate over to him. Akaashi took a piece of maguro from his plate and thanked him.

“Have you talked to Natsu at all, Akaashi?” Hinata asked.

Akaashi held a finger up to him as he chewed, “Yeah, we actually collaborated last time I was in Japan. She’s really cool.”

“She’s doing okay?”

“Yeah. You know, she’s your sister. You can reach out to her.”

Hinata nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

Iwaizumi wasn’t sure why it seemed as though Hinata’s relationship with his sister seemed so strained. He moved his elbow out of the way as Akaashi took more fish from his plate and stared at Hinata. He looked so good. His mind kept playing over their quick attack from earlier. It was the most  _ incredible  _ thing he’d ever seen.

“I love you, too, Iwa,” Hinata laughed.

Iwaizumi blinked at him, “What?”

“What?” Hinata furrowed his brow at him. “You said  _ ‘I love you’  _ so I said it back?”

“I did?”

“Yeah, you did,” Hinata laughed. “I guess you just love me  _ so  _ much that you can’t even understand it.”

“I get it,” Cole groaned. “You’re so happy and in love, get fucked.”

Hinata blinked at him before laughing loudly and slapping him on the back, “You’ll get there! Promise!”

“I know you meant that to be nice but,” Cole flicked him on the forehead.  _ “Condescending.” _

Hinata laughed again and rubbed his forehead, “Sorry.”

He looked back and frowned as Akaashi whispered in Iwaizumi’s ear as they shared off each other’s plates. They pulled back and laughed hard at whatever Akaashi had said. Hinata pushed his jealousy down, reminding himself of the lesson he learned with Goshiki not long before. It was just so  _ weird.  _ They looked like they’d known each other forever.

«Hinata,» Kuroo called.

«Yes? Hi,» Hinata dragged his eyes away from his fiance and met Kuroo’s dark ones.

«That quick attack was insane.»

«Thank you!»

«If Japan wins tonight, it’ll be Japan versus Italy. Who do you think will win?»

«Uh, I  _ hope  _ Japan wins so I can finally beat Kageyama.»

«Oh, right! I forgot about that whole thing!» Kuroo cackled.

«Suna said that Kageyama talks about it all the time,» Kenma said and Kuroo immediately pulled back. «He hopes you guys win, too.»

«Really?» Hinata pushed back on the table, «I’m gonna be the last one standing!»

Kenma smiled at him before turning and picking a piece of sushi off of Kuroo’s plate, who smiled and pushed the plate closer to them.

«I’ve really missed you guys!» Hinata beamed at them.

«We missed you, too! Come visit more often, short fry!»

Kuroo reached past Kenma and punched him in the shoulder. Hinata rubbed his shoulder and laughed sheepishly, «Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.»

“Hinata!” Ryan called from the other end of the table.

“Yeah?” He leaned forward to see him.

“I love you, buddy!”

“I love you, too!”

He laughed and sat back, getting to work on his food. The time passed in comfortable silence, broken occasionally by some small talk before Kenma excused themselves to go back to the gymnasium.

«Do you need me to walk you?» Kuroo asked as Kenma passed him as much money as they thought was fair for the food they ate.

«No, thank you, though.»

«Are you sure?» Kuroo frowned. «I’m worried about you walking alone out there.»

«It’s fine,» Kenma rolled their eyes before pushing him fondly by the shoulder. «I’m an adult, Kuro.»

«I know that,» Kuroo’s frown got deeper. «Be safe, okay?»

«Okay,» Kenma ruffled his hair and waved goodbye to the rest of them. 

Cole turned to Hinata and whispered, “I didn’t want to be  _ entirely  _ offensive, so I waited to ask my offensive question. Was your friend a boy or a girl?”

Hinata looked at him, “They’re non binary. They use… they slash them pronouns.”

“Oh,” Cole leaned back to watch Kenma go. “Cute, though.”

“They’re taken,” Hinata smacked him on the chest.

“Aren’t they all?” Cole sighed and leaned forward.

“Kenma  _ is  _ taken, right?” Hinata looked at Akaashi who was in deep conversation with Iwaizumi.

His smile fell and he faced forward, “Yeah.”

“They’re not  _ romantically  _ involved, but Kenma doesn’t want a romantic relationship,” Kuroo said.

“You speak english?” Hinata raised his eyebrows.

“Not much of a choice if you work online,” Kuroo cackled. “Kenma doesn’t like speaking it when he doesn’t have to, though, so I don’t when they’re around.”

“Oh,” Hinata shrugged. “What do you mean why they’re not romantically involved?”

“It’s like they said,” Kuroo gestured to where Kenma sat. “They’re like friends… But committed. They’re aromantic.”

“I don’t understand,” Cole butted in.

“It’s like,” Akaashi sighed as he thought of how to explain it, “He  _ loves  _ Suna, but he doesn’t want to kiss him or have a candlelit dinner with him.”

“Isn’t that like if I just decided to say I’m committed to Toby now?” Cole cocked his head and pointed across the table at Toby, who looked confused.

“I don’t know you two, but I’m willing to bet not,” Akaashi looked down to his food, shifting it around.

“I have a hard time understanding it, too,” Kuroo admitted. “But it’s like… Who’s your best friend?”

Cole pointed to Toby again, who just looked more confused.

“Okay, so say you and Clueless here go for coffee,” Kuroo gestured to Toby. “It’s like  _ that,  _ but if Clueless was your most favorite person and you held hands sometimes.”

“Stop calling me that,” Toby mumbled.

“Get a clue and I will!” Kuroo cackled again and Cole joined in.

“I think I get it,” Cole said. “He— they don’t want the  _ romance  _ but they want the commitment and companionship?”

“I think that’s generally the idea,” Akaashi agreed.

“That’s all so fake,” Toby said.  _ “They?  _ Pick one.”

Akaashi looked over at him and held up one finger, “Shh.”

“Wha—“

“No, no, shh. Be quiet.”

Toby looked absolutely taken aback, and honestly, so did most of the people in the conversation.

“I know it probably isn’t your fault that you don’t understand the things that are outside of yourself, but as an adult it is now your responsibility to understand them.”

“I—“

_ “And  _ if you  _ do  _ understand and still choose to be this way, then you need to deal with people disrespecting you the same way you disrespect them.”

“Ok—“

“Do you understand?”

“You—“

“I need you to tell me that you understand, sweetie.”

The look on Toby’s face was something that Hinata had never seen before. He was so entirely humiliated and put down, but he couldn’t say anything because Akaashi told him to go fuck himself in the most polite way possible.

“I understand.”

“Okay,  _ thank you,” _ Akaashi went back to his food, ignoring the way Toby looked at him.

Iwaizumi stared down at him for a moment, deciding he was his hero. It never occurred to him that Toby was capable of transphobic thoughts, because he’d always been so supportive of the queer people in his life— as long as they adhered to traditional gener roles. Maybe it  _ did  _ make sense.

He passed his hand over Akaashi’s back to catch his attention, and spoke when his blue eyes pierced into him.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, thank you. I just couldn’t… let him do that anymore. I get enough of it from Bokuto’s teammates.”

“That’s valid.”

Akaashi nodded before stealing another piece of fish off his plate. Iwaizumi nearly commented on how hungry he seemed, but remembered the point of sharing his food in the first place. He had no  _ real  _ evidence to think that Akaashi didn’t eat, but basing it solely on his body, he wanted to actually witness as much food as possible go into his mouth.

“The chicken cutlet is good,” Iwaizumi pointed to the breaded chicken. He took a piece and dipped it in the sauce before placing it on Akaashi’s plate, who then picked it up and tried it. He covered his mouth and Iwaizumi could’ve sworn lust ate Akaashi’s eyes. He laughed as Akaashi readily went in to steal the rest of it off of his plate.

“How have I never tried this?”

“Couldn’t tell you.”

“I’m now a  _ slut  _ for chicken cutlet!”

“Interesting,” Iwaizumi barked out laughter.

He looked at Hinata when his laugh died off and saw he wasn’t eating. He frowned and leaned over, picking up a piece of salmon from his plate and holding it to his mouth. When Hinata noticed what was happening, he opened his mouth and ate the salmon.

“You okay, baby?”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled at him.

“What’re you thinking about? Kageyama?”

“Yeah,” Hinata lied. He  _ certainly  _ wasn’t thinking about how Iwaizumi and Akaashi were acting in a way that made him deeply uncomfortable.

“Don’t worry, you’ll beat him!”

“No,” Akaashi shook his head then giggled at Iwaizumi’s indignant look. “Bokuto will! Tomorrow!”

“That’s if Japan beats the team they’re playing right now,” Cole said.

“They will! Trust me, they’re  _ really  _ good,” Akaashi said before gesturing between himself and Hinata. “We played against a lot of those guys in high school.”

“Really? You play?” Cole eyed up Akaashi’s thin arms and the ex-setter shrunk under the gaze.

“Yeah, I did,” he muttered.

“And he got his ass beat by us!” Kuroo cackled once again, earning a hefty glare from Akaashi.

“Yeah, and you ruined my entire month. Bokuto was a mess!”

“At least I  _ helped,”  _ Kuroo sat back and put his hands behind his head.

“Kuroo!” Hinata perked up. “Show me a picture of your girlfriend!”

Iwaizumi quickly looked to Akaashi to measure his reaction. He simply pressed his lips together and looked away from Kuroo as he suppressed a laugh. Iwaizumi frowned and waited for his turn to see the photo. When Hinata’s face flushed, he knew it’d be bad. His fiance stared at the photo for a  _ long  _ moment, so Iwaizumi held his hand out for the phone. He looked at the photo and felt his own face flush.

Kuroo’s girlfriend looked exactly how Kenma would if they fully committed to the fem look. Iwaizumi bit his bottom lip and forced a smile as he handed Kuroo his phone back. He smiled at his friends dreamily.

“Isn’t she  _ gorgeous?” _

“Sure,” Hinata smiled. “What’s she like?”

“She’s pretty cool. She went to art school, but dropped out after a year. She works from home now, doing art commissions.”

“Oh, cool!”

“Yeah!” Kuroo smiled at the photo. “She’s not actually home  _ a lot,  _ but that makes it more special when she is!”

“Where does she go?” Iwaizumi asked, knowing it was rude, but his response rubbed him the wrong way.

Kuroo frowned at him, “I’m not sure. I don’t ask. She’s her own person.”

“Alright,” Iwaizumi nodded. “That’s fair.”

He smiled at Hinata as he felt his foot against his under the table. He gestured to his food and Hinata started eating again. He jumped as he felt Ryan’s hand on his shoulder and attempted to bite back the annoyance he felt. He made a promise to himself to be nicer to Ryan. He leaned down in between him and Akaashi.

“Hey, Keiji?”

“Uh, hello?” Akaashi looked up at him.

“I’m Ryan Nyholm, good to meet you,” he shook his hand. “I’m here to bother you.”

“Oh?”

“I was wondering if maybe I could make an appearance on your channel?”

Akaashi stared at him for a moment before glancing at Iwaizumi then back at Ryan, “You know I do makeup and fashion stuff, right?”

“Yep!” Ryan stood straight. “If anyone’s doing my makeup I’d want it to be… Oikawa. But then you, right after! Second place! What do you say?”

Akaashi narrowed his eyes at him, “How would you feel if I said you’re my second choice for winning the gold?”

“I would say that makes sense considering your  _ extremely  _ talented man is on an opposing team,” Ryan winked at him.

Akaashi put his chopsticks down and considered him for a moment as he stared at him, but Ryan didn’t back down under his intense gaze.

“Sure.”

“Really?” Ryan clapped.

“You have a pretty solid fan base, especially since Shōyō joined your team. The potential gain is larger than the potential harm, so, yeah. I don’t see why not.”

“Awesome!” Ryan shouted. “I’ll get Iwadaddy here to forward you my contact information.”

Iwaizumi rubbed his face tiredly, unimpressed by the new nickname. He couldn’t deny its suitability, though.

“No, here,” Akaashi held his hand out. “I’ll just put my number in your phone.”

Iwaizumi was convinced Ryan would faint before he got his phone out of his pocket. He wondered just  _ how many  _ people were both aware of Akaashi’s existence and how many of those people were hopelessly in love with him. It seemed as though it was just about everyone that existed. 

When Ryan walked away, a new number in his phone and stars in his eyes, Akaashi smiled at Iwaizumi.

“I like your friends. They have good intentions. Mostly.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty good people!”

“We expected the USA team to be generally… terrible,” Akaashi confessed. “I’m happy to say that isn’t the case.”

“I honestly had the same assumption before I moved. I was also happy to be wrong.”

Their coach stood and addressed the table, “Alright, boys! Finish up! When we get back to the hotel we’re going to discuss strategy for Brazil tomorrow!”

Hinata turned back to Akaashi and Kuroo, “I really need to know how  _ Kenma  _ and  _ Suna  _ got close.”

“A few years ago, Kenma was collaborating with a bunch of the players and I guess Suna emailed their business account and asked to join a server one day. So they did, and Kenma enjoyed playing with him, so they played again. It turned into a once a month, then biweekly, then weekly, then daily thing for them. They played just with themselves, not streaming or anything, and eventually started playing in person, too.”

“Wow, video games does it for Kenma, huh?”

“Apparently,” Kuroo frowned. “But, yeah. They just got really close like that, and now they practically live together.”

“He wasn’t there when I visited them,” Hinata pointed at him.

“They  _ practically  _ live together,” Kuroo repeated. “They don’t actually.”

“Is Suna also aromantic?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yes. But he isn’t asexual like Kenma.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, “How does that work?”

“I think he still sleeps with people outside of their relationship,” Akaashi looked for confirmation from Kuroo and turned back to Iwaizumi when he got it, “He gets his emotional needs met by Kenma, then his physical ones met outside their relationship at Kenma’s discretion.”

“I wouldn’t be able to handle that,” Hinata said.

Iwaizumi shook his head, “Me neither.”

“It’s hard dating an aromantic person when you don’t understand,” Kuroo said knowingly. “It didn’t work for me and Kenma. We tried once. But I couldn’t handle not being prioritized in the way I needed, and Kenma couldn’t understand my needs.”

“You guys  _ dated?”  _ Hinata asked.

“Yeah. We were both relieved when it was over, though. Then they discovered their real identity while we took a small break from our friendship and met Suna during that time. When they came back, our friendship was stronger than ever. They seemed so sure of themselves and what they wanted and it makes me  _ so  _ happy to finally see Kenma comfortable in their skin.”

Iwaizumi frowned as he thought about the  _ uncanny  _ resemblance Kuroo’s girlfriend had to Kenma, and realized he didn’t even  _ know.  _ How didn’t he know? It was clear by his tone and body language that he genuinely believed what he was saying.

“I’m happy for them, too!” Hinata beamed. “My first thought when I saw them together was,  _ ‘that was weird’  _ but then  _ ‘I bet a date between those two would be painful to watch’  _ but I guess that isn’t a problem, then!”

“No, it definitely  _ is  _ painful to watch,” Akaashi laughed. “They barely even talk to each other when we’re all just at their house and Suna is actually there. I don’t think it’s as uncomfortable for them as it is for everyone else, though.”

“No,” Kuroo shook his head. “They basically communicate telepathically. They understand each other so deeply that it’s freaky. That interaction they had back at the arena was one in a million.”

“Definitely performative on Suna’s part,” Akaashi agreed. “I think he’s still a bit insecure around strangers.”

“That’s all awesome,” Iwaizumi leaned in. “But  _ I  _ want to know about Kageyama and  _ Kunimi. That’s  _ the winner for me.”

“I actually don’t know a lot about that,” Akaashi admitted.

“Yeah, me neither,” Kuroo shrugged. “We were never close.”

Iwaizumi hummed and sat back, looking at Akaashi’s plate. It was entirely empty, which made him happy. He looked to his own plate and moved what was left of his salmon onto his plate. Akaashi smiled gratefully and dug into it. Iwaizumi then looked to Hinata’s plate, that was also empty. He smiled warmly as he met his fiance’s eye.

“Proud of you.”

“For what? Eating?” Hinata laughed. “Be proud of me next time I finish something I  _ don’t  _ like. Like a protein bar.”

“Noted,” Iwaizumi laughed back.

“Okay, boys,” the coach stood again and clapped his hands. “The bill is being taken care of! Let’s get back to the bus!”

They stood and stretched as Akaashi finished Iwaizumi’s salmon. Iwaizumi took the jacket from the back of Akaashi’s chair and held it up for him so he could slide his arms in.

“Thank you.”

Iwaizumi hummed and moved to the other side of the table and wrapped his arm around Hinata’s waist, “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled at him.

Iwaizumi blinked down at him for a moment before kissing him, “Oh, my  _ god.  _ I love you so much that it should be illegal.”

“That’s almost not romantic,” Hinata laughed against his cheek. “I love you, too, though.”

“Come on,” Iwaizumi pulled on him and they left the restaurant.

“Bye guys!” Kuroo slapped them each on the back.

“Bye, Kuroo!” Hinata beamed at him. “I’ll see you soon!”

“You mean tomorrow when I come watch your game?”

“Yeah!”

“You’ll kill it. I’m  _ dying  _ to see that quick again. Insane.”

“Thank you!” Ryan called over as he pointed at Kuroo.

“You’re welcome!” Kuroo pointed back. 

Akaashi ran his hand across Iwaizumi’s shoulders before landing on his arm, “Bye.”

“Bye, Akaashi. See you soon?”

“Yep! I’m watching both games with Kuroo tomorrow!”

“Awesome, see you then.”

“Bye, Hinata!” Akaashi waved to him as he and Kuroo walked in the other direction.

“Bye!” Hinata waved largely after him.

Iwaizumi pulled Hinata roughly into his side and stared straight ahead as he slid his hand into his back pocket.

“Iwa,” Hinata whispered up to him.

Iwaizumi smirked but didn’t look at him, “Yes, my love?”

“We’re in public…”

“It’s not my fault your ass is just as fine here as it is in our bedroom,” Iwaizumi cackled. “Maybe you shouldn’t do so many leg exercises.”

Hinata laughed and pressed closer into his side, “Yeah, it’s almost like my trainer is into me or something.”

“Gross, he should be fired.”

“Yeah, but that’ll make it harder for our affair to thrive.”

“Are you suggesting you have sex in the workout room?” Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows, smiling ahead of him.

“I’m not saying I  _ have,”  _ Hinata trailed off.

“But you’re saying you should.”

“All I’m saying is if my pervert of a trainer should make a pass at me…”

Iwaizumi pressed his fingers into his pocket as he hummed so lowly he couldn’t be heard by anyone aside from himself. He adjusted his jacket so as to not get himself charged.

“You’re such a whore.”

He felt Hinata pull back to the most minute degree and he pulled him in closer than before.

“I love you, Shōyō.”

“I love you, too.”

“I don’t want to wait to marry you anymore.”

“Soon, Iwa.”

“Not soon enough.”

Hinata smiled at the sidewalk as he gripped the back of Iwaizumi’s jacket. His heart felt so full. Any insecurity he felt around Akaashi melted away the longer Iwaizumi’s hand was on him. They separated as they approached the bus and sat in front of Cole and Toby.

Toby leaned forward and tapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder. He turned and met his brown eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’m intolerant?”

“Honestly, a little.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to lie to you.”

“I don’t mean to be. I just don’t think it’s a real thing.”

“Like Akaashi said, either you come to understand it, or people will think you’re intolerant.”

Toby frowned and sat back. Iwaizumi didn’t feel bad about his honesty, his behaviour was hurting people and he needed to know. Cole leaned forward next.

“Speaking of Akaashi, why were you basically spoon feeding him at dinner, Hajime?”

He noticed Hinata’s eyes move up to him at the question and sighed, “I have  _ absolutely  _ no reason to think this. Okay? I’ll just preface it with that. But I just wanted to make sure he ate. He seemed hungry, and I wasn’t really, so he may as well’ve had it. Right?”

Hinata’s heart warmed. Akaashi had lost a  _ lot  _ of weight since the last time he’d seen him, and Iwaizumi was just worried about it. He’d expect nothing less from the sweetheart he was going to marry. He felt extra stupid for being insecure. Again. Iwaizumi always noticed people’s eating patterns, it was literally his job.

“Makes sense,” Cole nodded. “I can’t believe that guy used to be a setter.”

“Yeah, over half a decade ago,” Iwaizumi shrugged. “People change.”

Cole sat back and Hinata took Iwaizumi’s hand. They watched the lights out the window for the rest of their short ride back to the hotel.

They got off the bus and Iwaizumi immediately reclaimed Hinata into his side and he walked him straight to their room. Hinata closed the door and turned just to walk right into his fiance. Iwaizumi leaned down and took his mouth in a passionate kiss.

“I love you,” he said and kissed him again before he could respond.

“You mean everything to me,” he picked Hinata up and walked him into the door.

“I’m spending the rest of my life with you,” he silenced Hinata’s response with his lips. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Hinata  _ wanted  _ to respond, he really did, but he couldn’t form words as Iwaizumi’s mouth moved down his jaw and neck. His head spun with the love and lust he felt towards his fiance. He wrapped his legs around him tighter and pulled him in closer.

“You’re my person. Forever. Okay?” Iwaizumi breathed against his neck.

“Yes,” Hinata whined as Iwaizumi whipped him around and threw him on the bed.

“I’d do anything for you.”

“I know.”

Iwaizumi threw his legs apart and crawled between them. He grabbed his cheeks in his hand and kissed him all over his face.

“You are the most amazing person on this planet.”

“Iwa.”

Iwaizumi ignored him in favor of running his hands up his torso. His touch conveyed the very real love he was feeling as he tenderly felt over every inch of his fiance’s stomach.

“You’re perfect. You  _ look  _ perfect,” he kissed his chest, “The way you think,” he kissed his forehead, “The way you speak,” he kissed his mouth, “The way you play.”

He took Hinata’s hands and kissed each of their palms.

“I will never leave you.”

“I never want you to,” Hinata watched him with teary eyes.

“Good,” Iwaizumi sat back and hoisted Hinata onto his lap. “I love you.”

Hinata wrapped his arms tightly around Iwaizumi and pressed his face into his neck, unable to stop the tears from spilling. Iwaizumi pulled him closer and rubbed his back.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you so much.”

“That’s not a reason to cry, Shō.”

“I’m sorry.”

Iwaizumi pulled him away from his shoulder and held his chin as he stared sternly into his eyes, “Don’t ever,  _ ever  _ apologize.”

Hinata cracked and cried harder, “I love you.”

Iwaizumi hugged him tighter, “I love you, too. It’s been an emotional day. Maybe we should just relax.”

Hinata nodded into his shoulder, “Can we shower?”

“That’s a great idea.”

Iwaizumi moved to their bathroom and started the shower before returning. He removed his jacket then his shirt, very aware of Hinata’s eyes on him. He undid his belt and slowly slid it off before moving forward. Hinata undid his fly for him and slowly pushed down his pants and underwear. Iwaizumi threw his head back and weaved his fingers into Hinata’s hair when he wrapped his mouth around him. He let the feeling rush his senses for a few minutes before guiding his head away gently. He pulled Hinata’s shirt over his head then gently pushed him onto his back so he could remove his pants. When he was naked, he scooped him into his arms and carried him to the bathroom, bridal style.

He placed him on the floor inside of the shower and shut the glass door behind him. He locked lips with Hinata and walked him slowly backwards into the water where he saturated his hair and skin. He went to pull away to grab the shampoo, but Hinata held him firm. He smirked against his lips and lifted him again, pressing his back against the wall, savoring his gasp as his hot skin met the cold tile.

“I love you so much,” Iwaizumi breathed in his ear as Hinata pushed against him, looking for friction.

Iwaizumi adjusted himself and pushed into Hinata, finding he didn’t need much prep work anymore. The noise that ripped through his throat was nearly enough to bring Iwaizumi to tears.

He moved slowly at first, holding Hinata up by his thighs, the water hammering into his back. He spent the time kissing every inch of skin he could reach. As the feeling in his gut wound up and threatened to snap, he began moving much faster, harder, desperately. Hinata was curled into his front as he gasped and writhed, moaning loudly into his skin. Iwaizumi whispered in his ear, all sorts of sweet nothings that meant everything to Hinata.

As Hinata was reaching his breaking point, he moved to put his hand between them, but stopped. Instead, he dug his nails into Iwaizumi’s arm and screamed quietly into his collarbone.

“What’s wrong, love?” Iwaizumi didn’t stop his momentum.

“Can I?”

“Can you what, sweetie?”

“Can I touch myself?”

“You can do whatever you want, baby,” Iwaizumi moaned into his ear.

Hinata eagerly moved his fingers around himself and jerked needily. His moans got quieter as he reached his end, and his muscles all seized. When Iwaizumi felt his muscles tremble and flutter, when he felt the hot mess Hinata created all over his stomach and chest, he pounded intently all of three times before finishing. He groaned loudly and walked them a step forward, back against the wall so he wouldn’t collapse.

“You’re so _ fucking  _ amazing,” Iwaizumi breathed.

“No, you,” Hinata panted.

Iwaizumi stayed inside of Hinata for an extra moment, gathering himself before pulling out and placing him back on the floor. He seemed nearly incapable of standing and his legs trembled. He supported him back under the water and knelt with him after grabbing the shampoo.

Hinata woke the next morning to Iwaizumi’s mouth around him. He looked down and watched his head bob and stretched his arms over his head as he groaned. He enjoyed the process thoroughly and just as his toes started curling, there was a knock on the door. He lost the close sensation as he glared at the door, but fell back into it as Iwaizumi never stopped moving. Right when he was about to come, the knock occurred again. He scowled at the door again, getting frustrated. For the first time maybe ever, Iwaizumi wasn’t edging him, but the  _ door  _ was?

He ignored it again, but it was short lived when he heard Ryan from the other side with a thick voice, “Shōyō, can we talk?”

He sighed and gently pushed Iwaizumi away who smirked after him. It was a lost cause, anyways. They both quickly threw some pants on and Hinata opened the door, allowing Ryan into their room. His eyes were red, and Hinata felt sad just seeing it. The setter glanced at Iwaizumi before hugging Hinata warmly.

“What’s wrong?” Hinata mumbled into his chest.

“Oikawa.”

“Why? Did he end it because our game is today?”

“Not exactly,” Ryan sniffed as he pulled away. He moved to the desk chair and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. “It was amazing.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brow.

“He invited me over to his room last night, so we could spend it together before one of us— and by that he meant  _ me,  _ the bastard— inevitably got eliminated today. When I got there, I unlocked the door and it was all dark, but he had a million candles lit and just laid in the bed, and. When I say there is  _ no one  _ in the  _ entire world  _ that’s more beautiful that Tōru Oikawa, I—“

Tears swam in Ryan’s eyes as he evaded eye contact with Hinata and Iwaizumi. 

“I want to marry him. I want the house and the no kids. I want to travel everywhere with him. I  _ don’t  _ want to go home. Not without him. I— I don’t know what to do.”

“You go after him,” Iwaizumi said.

Hinata looked at him in shock. What happened to ‘don’t think about it’?

“What?” Ryan peeked at him.

“Don’t ignore it.”

“But it won’t work…” Ryan sighed, tears rolling faster.

“Then  _ make it work,”  _ Iwaizumi snapped.

They both stared at him and Iwaizumi looked away.

“All I’m saying is, that  _ isn’t  _ Oikawa’s character. All he ever talked about was never finding someone who adores _ him _ enough, so he’d be single forever. He would never do something  _ that  _ romantic for someone else unless he was really feeling it, and I’ve known him since we were  _ children.  _ He’s never, ever,  _ ever  _ done something like that. Pursue it.”

Ryan bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at Iwaizumi. He glanced at Hinata who smiled and nodded.

“I’ll think about it. Thank you. I’m sorry.”

He stood up, a man on a mission, and thanked them again as he ran from the room.

“Wow, that was easy,” Hinata stared after him.

“For now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oikawa is just as afraid of his feelings as Ryan is. It may not go the way we all want it to.”

“Oh,” Hinata stared after him.  _ “Oh.” _

“What?”

Hinata stared at Iwaizumi in horror, “We skipped the briefing last night.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Iwaizumi sat up, feeling a chill over his body. “We’re dead.”

“Maybe we should just jump,” Hinata gestured to the window, “Take the power back.”

Iwaizumi snorted and smacked him on the arm, “Oh, stop it. Let’s go get caught up.”

“Right.”

They got ready and made their way to breakfast where everyone else already sat and ate. They took their seats, Hinata beside Jackson and Iwaizumi beside Cole.

Cole leaned in to Iwaizumi and whispered, “So Coach wants you dead.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Iwaizumi laughed nervously. “What’d we miss?”

“The bullet points are,” he pointed to Hinata, “Do the quick attack as often as possible. Fall back into the group when it gets too obvious what you’re going to do. Aaaand… Don’t fuck it up.”

“Gotcha,” Hinata nodded. “You and Ryan need to keep it in check more than anyone else.”

_ “Ryan  _ needs to keep it in check.”

“No, both of you.  _ You  _ could’ve equally hurt him when you  _ intentionally  _ instigated a fight. We’d be in real trouble without him.”

Iwaizumi frowned at him and looked between the hitter and the libero, confused.

“Please,” Cole scoffed. “I may not be  _ as  _ good as Ryan but I could do a quick as equally impressive as Kageyama.”

“You can?”

“Sure. But we don’t need that many setters in the world right now. There’s already a buttfuck million of them.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Iwaizumi muttered.

Cole shrugged, “My dad taught me. I’d say he’s pretty experienced.”

“Who’s your dad?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brow.

Cole looked at him hesitantly before staring into his cereal and muttering, “Jacques Heroux.”

Their jaws dropped. Hinata and Iwaizumi looked between each other before looking back at him.

_ “Jacques Heroux?”  _ Hinata’s voice was so high it was nearly inaudible.

“You’re  _ kidding,” _ Iwaizumi breathed. “But your name…”

“I have my  _ other  _ dad’s name,” Cole said, visibly uncomfortable.

“You have  _ two  _ dads?” Hinata slammed his hands on the table and jumped up as he shouted. “That’s so cool!”

Cole winced and covered his face with his hand as the other people in the room stared at them.

_ “Yes,”  _ Cole said quietly. “Please, calm down.”

“So, your  _ dad  _ is the world famous player  _ Jacques Heroux,”  _ Iwaizumi struggled to get a grasp on the information.

“The one and only.”

“And you wanted to be just like him?” Hinata beamed. “You played volleyball and became a setter?”

“Nuh uh,” Cole shook his head. “He  _ made  _ me be a setter, just like him. But I wanted to be a libero, which is why I’m a libero.”

“How have you  _ never told us?”  _ Hinata exclaimed.

“Probably because I knew you’d react like this,” Cole frowned.

“I need to know more!”

“Fine,” Cole sighed, fidgeting with his coffee. “My dad was born in France, then played for Italy, then played for Brazil. He retired and settled down in Germany. He met my other dad and finally had time for a family, so they had me. Then they moved to the States, and I had a relatively normal childhood and then I met you guys.”

“Are you adopted?” Iwaizumi asked.

“No, they hired a surrogate.”

“So you have his genes!” Hinata gushed. “That’s how you’re so good!”

“I don’t  _ know  _ whose genes I have,” Cole frowned. “I’m good because I worked for it.”

“Right, but the genes wouldn’t hurt!” Hinata beamed at him.

“I’m surprised you like volleyball after being forced to play it,” Iwaizumi said.

“What? I wasn’t forced. No, this isn’t some tragic origin story. My dads are the best parents, ten out of ten would be raised by them again.”

“Sorry, it was just when you said  _ ‘just like him’, _ ” Iwaizumi said. 

“It’s okay,” Cole said. “Yeah, he taught me how to set, and I was good at it, but when I joined my middle school team, I all but fell in love with the eighth grade libero. It was nuts all the things he could do, and I wanted to do those things, too. He mentored me after school all the time and we became pretty good friends. We’re  _ still  _ friends, actually. So when he graduated I asked the coach if I could take his place.”

“Yeah?” Hinata asked, entirely invested in the story.

“He told me no. I was too tall. Both of my dads are very tall, and so was the surrogate they selected, but, because of that, I had to play up front. I told my dad about it after a month or so, completely devastated. So he went to the school to speak to my coach.”

_ “What?”  _ Hinata laughed.

“Yeah,” Cole chuckled. “Imagine this seven foot tall world famous volleyball player waltzing into a middle school to lecture him on the values of having a tall libero.”

“That’s  _ hilarious,”  _ Iwaizumi laughed giddily.

“I got to play libero after that,” Cole laughed. “I stuck with it and got pretty good, if I do say so myself.”

“And your dad wasn’t upset that you didn’t play as setter?”

“Nah, he told me how the liberos are basically secondary setters. They make the most amount of tosses aside from the setter himself and that was good enough for him. He also said that he never expected me to stick with it and the fact that I’m playing at all makes him incredibly proud.”

“Wow, your dad sounds amazing,” Iwaizumi leaned on his hand as he watched him speak.

“They both are,” Cole smiled warmly. “I love them so much.”

“Do they live in California?” Hinata asked.

“No, Texas. That’s where I grew up, too.”

“You’re not from California?”

“Nope.”

“Do you think that your dad’s fame adds some bias to your performance?” Iwaizumi asked.

Cole shook his head, “I have a different last name for a reason. It isn’t public information. After I graduated we moved across the state and that’s when my name change went through. So, no one really knows.”

“Wow,” Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows.

“And don’t be tellin’ everyone,” Cole glared at Hinata.

“What?” Hinata shouted indignantly. “Why are you singling me out?”

“Because I know Iwaizumi won’t say anything, but  _ you  _ on the other hand…”

Hinata raised his hands, feigning surrender, “Only if you promise I can meet him.”

Cole rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t know… Are you going to be all weird about it?”

“Do you actually expect me to be  _ normal  _ in the presence of  _ Jacques Heroux?” _

“He’s just a guy. He’s so old now,” Cole smiled fondly. “There’s no need to be weird around him.”

Hinata beamed at Iwaizumi, “Someday this will be our kid talking about  _ us!” _

Iwaizumi faked a smile and looked down at his bagel, “Yep.”

“How come they’re not watching you here?” Hinata asked.

“They probably are,” Cole shrugged. “For some reason whenever my dad wears sunglasses and a ball cap— which is always— he becomes invisible. It’s awfully convenient. He got to see all of my games growing up without anyone assuming I got to play because of my dad.”

“That’s really awesome!”

“Didn’t he retire really late?” Iwaizumi asked. “Like, when he was forty?”

“Forty three,” Cole nodded.

“That’ll make him almost seventy, then.”

“Like I said… Little old man. Nothing to fuss over.”

“I doubt he’s little,” Hinata exclaimed. “Wasn’t he…  _ really  _ tall?”

“At his tallest he was 7’1”,” Cole agreed. “But now he’s just under seven foot.”

“That’s not quite  _ little,”  _ Iwaizumi stared in awe.

“Yeah,” Cole shrugged as he stood. “There ya go. Now you know  _ that  _ about me. Try not to bring it up too often.”

“Wait, does the rest of the team know?” Iwaizumi asked before he could walk away.

Cole nodded, “Yep. Even Ryan.”

“Wow,” Hinata was amazed at their secret keeping abilities.

“Later,” Cole said before walking away.

Hinata and Iwaizumi shouted their goodbyes after him. Once he was gone, Hinata turned excitedly to Iwaizumi.

“Can you believe that?”

“Not really, if I’m being honest,” Iwaizumi turned back towards his bagel. 

“We’re playing Oikawa today!” Hinata realized loudly. “We’re actually doing it!”

Iwaizumi looked down the table at Ryan, who looked as though he’d never been crying in their hotel room at all, “You think he said anything to Oikawa?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Hinata followed his gaze. “He looks too regular to have had any news either way.”

“But it’s  _ Ryan,”  _ Iwaizumi said, turning his eyes back to his fiance. “Who really knows what he’s feeling?”

“I guess so,” Hinata frowned. 

They ate their breakfast in silence and Hinata’s mind wandered. He recalled Oikawa’s face the first time he experienced his freak quick with Kageyama. He couldn’t  _ wait  _ to see his face when he saw his quick with Ryan. Minus tempo didn’t even describe it. It was like Ryan didn’t even touch the ball, but instead directed it solely with his mind. He didn’t ever look. He trusted the ball would both come to him where he stood and that Hinata would be there to hit it. It was the best feeling ever, the mutual trust he and Ryan shared on the court. The feeling of being the  _ only  _ hitter maybe in the entire  _ world  _ who could match that speed. It took awhile for them to get it, but once they did…

He snapped out of it when he felt a weight on his back and looked up to see the man in question.

“What’s up, Ryan?”

“Just wanted to tell you you’re  _ booooootiful,”  _ Ryan pushed on him as he leaned forward more.

“Thank you?”

“You are very welcome, Shō baby,” Ryan sat heavily in the apparently then empty seat beside Hinata. “Have I told you how much I love you recently?”

“Have you  _ ever  _ told me that?” Hinata narrowed his eyes at him. “What do you want?”

“What?” Ryan scoffed. “Me? Nothing! Why would you ask such a  _ ridiculous—“ _

“Ryan.”

“I don’t want  _ anything,  _ Shōyō!”

Hinata stared at him for a moment before shrugging and going back to his food. He did his best to ignore the stare burning into his head, but it was hard.

“Okay,  _ maybe  _ I want something.”

“Okay,” Hinata looked back at him with a smile. “What do you want?”

Ryan leaned forward and whispered quietly, “I want you to flub our first quick.”

_ “What?” _

“Hear me out. We only got one in yesterday, right? They could still think it’s a fluke. If we stay steady on the defensive for the first part of the game, make them doubt us, we can tire them out then get on in with our quicks later.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Hinata frowned.

“You’ll do it?”

“You know best. Coach will kill us, though.”

Ryan threw his arms out triumphantly before wrapping them around Hinata tightly and placing a loud kiss to his cheek, “We’ll crush them  _ and  _ their spirits! Maybe if we beat Oikawa bad enough, he’ll just quit volleyball entirely and move to the States with me!”

Hinata was about to respond when Ryan’s shoulders slumped, “I can’t say that. I don’t want to live in a world where Oikawa isn’t out there making history.”

Hinata smiled and was about to respond when Ryan cut him off  _ again,  _ “Anyways! Thank you! See you on the bus!”

He and Iwaizumi watched the setter practically skip away from them before locking eyes. They both shook their heads with small smiles before finishing their breakfast.

“Ready to go?” Iwaizumi smiled warmly at him.

“Always,” Hinata stood.

They moved to the door and clasped hands as they made their way to the bus.

“You’re going to be amazing,” Iwaizumi squeezed his hand. “You trained hard for this. There’s no way you can lose.”

“I owe it all to my pervert of a trainer,” Hinata cackled hard when Iwaizumi elbowed him.


	16. Master of Deception, Tōru Oikawa

They got on the bus and started back to the arena for the long anticipated game against Brazil. Hinata turned in his seat and saw Ryan had his headphones in so he turned forward and tapped on Cole’s shoulder. He was previously looking at whatever Toby sas doing on his phone but turned to look at Hinata.

“Yeah?”

“Why was the Canadian anthem in French?”

“Oh, yeah, Coach ripped you for not knowing the words. It was really funny,” Cole snickered. “They’re a bilingual country.”

“That’s why Ryan speaks french? Do all Canadians know french?”

“I doubt _all_ of them do.”

Hinata sat back for a moment, thinking about it before realizing something and tapping Cole’s shoulder again. Cole sighed and turned back.

“Yes, Shōyō?”

“You speak french then, too, right? Because your dad is French?”

“Yeah.”

“You speak _three_ languages?” Hinata gaped.

“That’s accurate,” Cole said.

“That’s so cool!”

“Not really,” Ryan said from behind him. He turned to look at him.

Cole glared at Ryan, _“You_ don’t speak three languages.”

“False! I also speak Italian!”

“Bet,” Cole scoffed. “Why didn’t you bring it up at the restaurant?”

“Because _you_ didn’t bring up your french skills and I didn’t want to break your ego,” Ryan crossed his arms.

“Yeah? Bet. Speak Italian to Italy’s team later.”

“You think I won’t?” Ryan laughed then said something very angry sounding in what Hinata assumed was Italian.

“Why do you know _Italian_ of all things?” Iwaizumi asked Ryan.

“Because I come from a very Italian city. Plus all the romantic languages are almost the same, Italian, French, Spanish. It wasn’t exactly _hard.”_

“But still,” Cole frowned.

“My mother’s name is _Antoinette Bumbacco,”_ Ryan rolled his eyes. “Ask my grandma to list off four English words. You'll understand.”

“The reason I was asking is I want to know what the French part of the song meant,” Hinata whispered, looking between their heated glares.

“I don’t know,” Cole said. “I can’t understand that hogwash of a ‘language’.”

“Firstly, you’re an elitist prick,” Ryan smiled warmly and it was _so fake,_ “Secondly, don’t pretend your dirty, south side, country, peasant village of a dialect is _any_ better.”

Cole knelt on his seat and started swatting at Ryan, his long arms perfectly capable of reaching. They fought between Iwaizumi and Hinata, who both did their best to get out of the way. Hinata stood and pressed against the window while Iwaizumi moved into the aisle. Just as the coach turned to yell, Iwaizumi got them both by the ear and separated them.

“What’s _wrong_ with you two?” He snapped.

They both looked at him sheepishly before sitting back down.

“Anyway, Hinata, the English words to that verse are, ‘With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the True North strong and free,’ but the French verse translates to something like, ‘For your arm knows how to wield the sword. Your arm knows how to carry the cross; Your history is an epic of brilliant deeds’.”

“Wow, the french words are so much cooler!” Hinata leaned over the back of his seat. “But what has Canada really done?”

Ryan frowned at him, “You sure you wanna start talking about our countrys’ histories in war?”

“Yeah, we better not,” Iwaizumi pulled Hinata back into his seat.

“Ryan acting like he isn’t also American,” Cole muttered.

Ryan stood up and thwacked him on the back of the head, _“You sure you want to start talking about our countrys’ histories in war?”_

Cole rubbed his head where Ryan hit him and went quiet. Ryan sat down and put his earphones back in.

“Didn’t think so.”

Hinata looked up at Iwaizumi with puppy eyes, “I didn’t… plan for it to go that way.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Iwaizumi wrapped him in his arm. “I doubt they really care. They’re just tense because of the game.”

“I’m going to beat Oikawa!” Hinata was suddenly happy again.

“Yes, we are,” Iwaizumi laughed.

He honestly had conflicting feelings on the concept of beating Oikawa in the game. On one hand, he worked with the USA and his beautiful fiance played for them. On the other hand, this was the first time he didn’t represent the same team as Oikawa in his entire life. He felt biased both ways. Honestly, he was rooting for them both.

They got to the arena, all of them deep in pensive thought. They entered the lobby area and were immediately greeted with the sight of two people holding bright neon colored signs reading, _‘Horowitz #7’_ and _‘COLE HOROWITZ WE HEART YOU!!’._ They applauded the best they could around the signs in their hands and one waved around a noise maker. Cole’s face flushed a bright red and he averted his gaze. They lowered their signs, revealing white jerseys with his name and number on them.

The team glanced at Cole then stared back to the people. The taller man thrusted his poster into the other’s hands the lifted his cap and glasses, revealing a balding head of white hair and crows feet at the corner of his eyes. He whispered loudly over to Cole.

_“Obrecht! It’s me, Papa!”_

“I _know_ it’s you, Papa,” Cole sighed. “What are you doing here?”

Jacques made his way over to Cole, closing the distance in one short stride and took his son into his arms, while the rest of the team _died_ in the wake of the superstar.

“Can’t a man watch his _only_ child perform in the Olympics? That’s a big deal!”

The other man, presumably Cole’s other father, made his way over and kissed Cole on the head, “I tried to get him to wait until _after_ your last game so he wouldn’t throw you off your rhythm.”

Jacques pulled away and looked at his husband, “And _I_ told _him_ that was stupid, because our son is a _professional!”_

“Oh, my god, this is so embarrassing,” Cole covered his face.

“Heller,” Jacques turned back to his husband, “Look at him! He’s playing Brazil!”

“I know, Jacques. It’s amazing,” Heller pushed Cole’s hands out of his face and pinched his cheeks. “All grown up!”

Ryan covered his mouth as he died of laughter at the sight. Jacques looked at him before confronting him. He pinched Ryan’s cheek before kissing him on the other.

“You are Ryan Nyholm! You’re incredible! Just getting better and better, aren’t ya?”

Ryan blushed, then melted, knowing that this hall of famer _knew who he was._ He shook his hand eagerly.

“Uh, thank you, sir!”

Jacques held his hand in both of his and looked around the team, “You boys are doing amazing! Don’t let up on your defense! I noticed how your team seems to be doing poorly with your receiving in these games and that’s unlike you. Don’t forget your roots!”

“Sir!” They called out, in a daze.

Hinata was dying. He was _dying._ He was being given advice by _Jacques Heroux!_ He was really standing right in front of him. He was a real person and he was _right there._

“Hinata Shōyō,” Jacques turned his keen eye on him and Hinata froze in spot. “Everyone’s been waiting for you. Don’t let them down.”

“Y-yes, sir!” He _saluted_ him.

Then, he cussed himself out internally for saluting him. That was so embarrassing. But Jacques just laughed and put a hand on his shoulder. Hinata craned his neck far so he could see him, but he was looking back at Cole.

“Obrecht, don’t get hurt out there, okay? Last game you and Nyholm almost ruined each other.”

“Because _someone_ went for a ball he wasn’t supposed to,” Cole glared at Ryan.

“You’re on a team, son. If someone messes up, you let it go and build on the choice they made. It doesn’t matter who does what as long as you don’t let the ball fall.”

Cole sighed heavily, “Okay.”

Their coach caught up to them and furrowed his brow at Jacques and Heller, “Who’s this?”

“Just my dads,” Cole rolled his eyes. “They were just leaving.”

They each kissed him on the head and told him how much they loved him before waving as they walked away. The rest of the team felt a new determination. 

“He sure sounded like a coach,” their coach looked sourly after him. “Our receives have been amazing. What does he know?”

“No. He was right,” Ryan said and the coach looked at him strangely. “Normally, I don’t have to look for the ball because I know you guys will get it right into my hands. But these last few games, I’m constantly having to look out for it.”

“You’re such a baby,” Cole frowned as they started walking again. “We’re just lucky we’re getting the ball up at all.”

“No, you’re not _just lucky,_ idiot,” Ryan smacked his back. “You worked for it. So do what you do best so I can, too.”

If Hinata thought they had a new sense of determination before, it doubled as he watched Ryan break away from the rest of them, every step full of intention and clear motivation. Hinata’s stride slowed until he stopped as he watched Ryan go.

Iwaizumi stopped beside him and put a hand on his back, “What’s wrong?”

Hinata looked up at him, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I think we all need to be a little bit more like Ryan.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi urged him forward, “How’s that?”

“He just believes in us all so fully. He can still look around and be better than the average setter, but he believes that if we all work at one hundred percent he doesn’t even need to _look at the ball.”_

“That’s crazy. He’s exaggerating.”

“I’m not sure. I’ve seen it before. Not in a while, but it’s happened.”

Iwaizumi studied Hinata’s face as he spoke. He looked so _serious_ and it wasn’t something he was used to. He had to be making that up. That wasn’t a real thing. He _had_ to look at the ball and that was a fact. He kissed Hinata outside of the change room and finished walking the rest of the way to the gymnasium with Tony.

The teams arrived and warmed up. They got into their little pregame huddle.

“Here we are boys,” the coach said. “Brazil. Keep your eye on the prize and don’t focus too much on Oikawa.”

“Right!”

“But also _don’t take your eyes off Oikawa._ He will chew you up and spit you out if you let your guards down.”

“Right,” their call was a tad less enthusiastic.

“I’ve studied him for years,” Ryan looked over his shoulder where Oikawa spoke to his own team. “I know how to handle him. We can do this.”

The rest of the team looked to where Oikawa hyped his team up with a varying array of facial expressions.

“For someone who isn’t the captain he sure looks like one,” Toby muttered.

“Yes, he knows just how to work his team to get the best out of them,” the coach said. “Don’t let that get you down. Focus up and you’ll outmatch them.”

_“Now commencing the game between Brazil and the United States of America. Introducing the starting lineup for Brazil.”_

Ryan rushed them into a huddle and they did their small chant.

_“What team?”_

_“Wildcats! Get your head in the game!”_

They watched Brazil get out onto the court and Iwaizumi studied the look in Ryan’s eye as he watched Oikawa. He stood deathly still as his eyes soaked him up. His expression was unreadable.

_“Introducing the starting lineup for the United States of America. Number one, Ryan Nyholm. Number two, Jackson Wright. Number four, Robert Anderson. Number five, Toby Garcia. Number eight, Noah Clark. Number nine, Shōyō Hinata. Number seven, libero, Cole Horowitz.”_

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa and Ryan stand on the opposite side of the nets from each other as they met each other’s eye for a second before looking away with determined smiles. He could’ve sworn that his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Nothing happened yet, but it was already too intense for him. 

_“All rise for the teams’ national anthems.”_

They all held their hands over their hearts as the orchestra played. The energy between both teams only escalated as they listened. When the music died out, they called for the captains. Ryan jogged to the referee and shook Brazil’s captain’s hand then engaged in the coin flip.

Ryan rejoined the team and they all fell into their positions. The setter placed his hands on his knees and waited for the whistle. He looked up at the team, and caught Hinata’s eye, translating what he expected with just a look. Hinata nodded. 

“Don’t let me down, boys.”

They glanced at him and lowered further as they looked back at Oikawa as he caught the ball.

Oikawa bounced the ball and spun it in his hands, holding it to his forehead and exhaling.

The whistle blew and he backed up, threw the ball, and jumped higher and hit the ball harder than Hinata had ever seen. Ryan ran to the front of the court and Jackson received the ball, sending it directly into Ryan’s hands and the second the ball grazed his fingers it was gone again. Hinata was already at the net, arm wound up. His instincts told him to slam the ball down, but he remembered what he was supposed to do. He intentionally held his force back and swung and _instant_ too late. The ball flew by him and landed loudly in their court. He gave it his best impression of outrage.

“Don’t mind,” Ryan yelled. “Good try!”

 _“What the hell?”_ The coach was outraged.

Brazil looked between them and the ball before smirking. Goshiki looked at Hinata through the net with a wicked smile.

“Too bad you weren’t quite fast enough. That was the perfect set.”

Hinata was about to retort when Ryan placed a hand on his shoulder and looked Goshiki up and down.

“Too bad your uniform is yellow,” he turned and started walking back to his position, “It’s just not your color, baby boy.”

Goshiki’s smile fell as he watched Ryan go.

“Worry about yourself, okay?” Ryan called with a smile.

They all lowered back into their positions, the rest of the team watching Hinata wearily, having not known their secret change of plans.

The whistle blew and Oikawa served again, Jackson received it perfectly once again, and that time Ryan set it normally to Toby who slammed it over. Their middle blocker got it and stuff blocked them.

_“The United States is off to a rough start, practically handing Brazil two points. Is Nyholms famous rivalry with Brazil’s Oikawa getting under his skin?”_

“How many are you going to let him get?” Cole snapped. “I swear to _god,_ Nyholm—“

“Shh,” Ryan held a finger up to him. “Keep receiving, guys! You’re doing amazing!”

Hinata stood close enough that he could hear him whisper, “Make them underestimate us.”

Iwaizumi watched on, holding his breath. The coach was outraged, not understanding what was happening. Iwaizumi watched Oikawa study their team’s every move, every micro expression and every decision. There was no way they could fool him. Nothing ever fooled him.

Oikawa served once again, and Noah received it. He sent it directly into Ryan’s hands, and Ryan watched it the whole time. He _knew_ it was an exaggeration. He set the ball and Toby slammed it over the net. Their libero got it before it hit the ground and sent it to Oikawa who tossed it to Goshiki who slammed it back, but Hinata got under it in time and sent it back up. Ryan ran backwards, _watching the ball,_ and set it from the back end of the court to Noah who hit it over.

The rally went back and forth a couple more times before Ryan actually set the ball with real intention to Rob. Rob jumped and the ball tucked itself directly into his palm and he slammed it down with intense velocity. The ball _finally_ hit the floor and the team dog piled on Rob, who exclaimed happily.

_“After a long and intense rally, the United States finally makes themselves known with their first point from Robert Anderson!”_

By the time they were at 22-20 for Brazil, both teams seemed weary. Ryan kept the ball in play for as long as possible during each rally, in an attempt to break Brazil. It was his serve so he walked to the back of the court and caught the ball. He made eye contact with Hinata, expressing it was time with his eyes.

The whistle blew and Ryan served and Iwaizumi was still blown away with how similar it was to Oikawa’s. He forced the other team into a position where Oikawa had to make the first touch. Brazil did all they could to keep the ball up, sending it back as a free ball.

“Free ball!” Ryan sang as he ran to the front of the court. Iwaizumi watched Toby receive it as Ryan still ran. The entire team rushed the net with Hinata far ahead of the rest. His fiance jumped just behind the attack line before the ball even left Toby’s hands. Ryan’s hands were over his head as he stared forward, making absolutely no indication as to what he was about to do. Brazil seemed to want to mark Hinata based on their successful quick attack from their game against Canada, but seemed hesitant to actually do so since they weren’t convinced they could _really_ do it and it wasn’t just a fluke. Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as Ryan set the ball without looking. He didn’t check to see if the ball was coming, and he hardly even seemed to touch it before sending it on its way. Within a fraction of a second it was in Hinata’s palm and then trying to break a hole in the floor on Brazil’s court.

The room was frenzying before the point was even called. Ryan and Hinata both screamed before hugging each other tightly. Their team joined in their small celebration, exclaiming about how impressive it was.

Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes, still processing it. He looked at Oikawa who wore the smile he wore when he was actually right pissed. Once he regained his composure he stood and placed his hands on his hips. Even Iwaizumi didn’t know what he planned to do about that. He was certainly able to stop Hinata’s quicks before, but what he and Ryan just pulled off wasn’t even _real._ There was just no way. It was too fast.

_“That incredible quick attack once again from Nyholm and Hinata! They proved it wasn’t just a fluke and that they do, in fact, have a very powerful weapon under their belts. Just one point now for the USA to catch up!”_

Cole switched out with Jackson, high fiving him on the way and settled into his spot as the whistle blew.

Ryan wound up and served, slamming it off of their libero’s arms, sending it into the barricades. He remained emotionless in the wake of his beautiful ace, and held his hands out for a new ball. He caught it and bounced it, waiting for the whistle.

When it happened, he served again and got another ace off their outside hitter. Iwaizumi watched Ryan closely, looking for _any_ kind of reaction, but there was nothing. He looked at the score. They were one ahead. Would they really take the first set? He yelled at Oikawa to step up inside of his head.

Ryan looked at Oikawa and shouted, “You guys should know how to get these. Half step forward and bend your damn knees!”

Oikawa scowled at Ryan’s genuinely helpful tone but laughed when Ryan received a verbal warning. Ryan dismissed it with his hand and waited for the whistle.

“The hell is that kid doing?” The coach snapped. Iwaizumi glanced at him then stared back to the court.

The whistle blew and Ryan served. To the setters absolute delight, their libero followed his instructions and got the ball in play. Ryan laughed and ran forward, prepared to make the toss. The ball landed on his fingers and he tossed it to Toby. Goshiki was all over it, not ready to allow the ball over the net. Toby smirked, knowing what the toss was communicating. He wound up his left hand and slammed it past Goshiki’s block and the ball landed on the other side of the libero, who was prepared for a line shot.

Brazil glared after where the ball landed and Ryan applauded Toby before making eye contact with Goshiki.

“Here’s a little secret: He isn’t the only one.”

Goshiki glowered at him as he high fived Toby. The coach looked about ready to pull his hair out.

“Why is he _doing that?”_

Iwaizumi wondered the same thing. It seemed foolish to even hint about all the secrets they’d worked to cover up since the team was fully formed.

Ryan looked at Oikawa and smirked, “We’re going to do our quick attack next. Don’t worry, I know you can stop it.”

The coach turned red in the face, “He’s letting his _obsession_ with Oikawa rule his emotions!”

Iwaizumi studied Ryan closely before realization settled over him. He couldn’t stop the smile from taking him over.

“No,” Iwaizumi scoffed amusedly. “That’s not what he’s doing at all.”

The whistle blew and Ryan served once again, and Brazil received it, getting it back over. 

“What do you mean?” The coach asked, outraged. “What _is_ he doing then?”

Toby got under it and sent it to Ryan who tossed it to Hinata who slammed it over the net. The whole rally seemed to last less than thirty seconds.

Iwaizumi laughed unwillingly but very genuinely, “He’s helping them… because he’s not threatened by them.”

The coach fell silent as the point was awarded to their team despite the warning Ryan gave. He slowly joined Iwaizumi in his amazed and mischievous grin.

_“The United States is out here showing Brazil how to play the sport! An unexpected lead after a rather lacklustre performance from the USA brings them to set point! Brazil is letting them steal it from right under their noses!”_

Iwaizumi saw the effects the PA had on Oikawa. He saw the familiar fire in his eyes all the way from where he stood. He looked outwardly happy and flippant but Iwaizumi knew better than that. He knew his friend was shaking with rage under the bravado.

Ryan stood back to serve again, and that time Oikawa happily received it. Hinata watched their team closely as their right side hitter set the ball and _Oikawa_ charged to spike. Hinata jumped to block him, but Oikawa’s hit was too powerful and slammed right into his hand then out of bounds. Hinata glared right into Oikawa’s smug stare before the setter turned on him and walked away.

_“Brazil is here to say that they’re still in it! One point for them to catch up! Next serve goes to Tsutomu Goshiki for Brazil!”_

Goshiki bounced the ball before delivering a standard jump serve. Toby got it, sent it to Ryan and he tossed it to Hinata, who hit it over but was blocked. Ryan ran under it, setting the ball from the first touch. The crowd gasped, and so did Hinata. It was something he’d seen before, long ago, and he knew what to do. He ran to the net at a slower pace as Jackson jumped, using a spiking formation. Brazil jumped to block him, but at the last second Jackson broke formation and set the ball to Hinata, instead. Hinata slammed the ball down hard right on the other side of the net, allowing their blockers no time to even react.

 _“USA taking a page right out of the Miya twins notebook! An exceptional use of imitation from Nyholm! They came in as the clear underdogs but are now telling everyone else_ ‘do not underestimate us’! _The first set is all the USA's!”_

Brazil took the second set and they were in the third set at 23-22 for the USA. Brazil served and Cole sent it to the front for Ryan. Ryan tossed it, sending it past a couple players who swung at nothing until it got to Jackson who hit it over. Brazil dug it up and got it to Oikawa who tossed it to Goshiki. Ryan jumped to block him and knocked it back down, very close to the net.

Iwaizumi’s nerves stood at attention, anticipating getting the set point. It was too close to the net, there was no way—

_“Oikawa makes a miraculous dig!”_

Oikawa slid along the floor and watched the ball as it flew back up. Ryan looked down as he was about to land and noticed at the last second that Oikawa’s hand stuck out under the net. He cursed and instinctually adjusted his footing so he wouldn’t crush his fingers.

Iwaizumi watched it all happen in slow motion. Ryan’s foot landed awkwardly in an effort to avoid Oikawa’s hand.

_POP._

The setter gripped the net in an attempt to soften his fall as his knees buckled. The effort was only partially successful, as it caused him to fall back even more awkwardly and land harshly onto his elbow. Oikawa looked back as everyone stopped moving in response to the popping noise.

The entire arena stopped breathing as Ryan yelled out.

_“Jesus fuck! Oh, my god!”_

It seemed like an eternity passed in the five seconds Ryan spent screaming while everyone else was shocked to their places. Hinata covered his mouth as the tears started falling down Ryan’s face. All at once, time started moving again and Iwaizumi’s body returned to him.

_“A devastating and potentially career ending fall for Ryan Nyholm on the United States of America’s court, seemingly in an effort to avoid crushing his rivals hand.”_

Iwaizumi ran out onto the court as Ryan attempted to push himself up. He harshly pushed Ryan back into his reclined position and glared at him.

“If you—“ He gulped as he looked at Ryan’s already swollen knee. “If you so much as _try_ to stand again I will make sure you never walk again. You understand me?”

He knew Ryan wasn’t listening because he was too busy crying.

_“A verbal warning for Tōru Oikawa.”_

Iwaizumi glanced up and saw Oikawa kneel on the other side of the net, in absolute shock. He turned his attention back to Ryan.

“Can you move?”

Ryan tried moving his leg and let out an involuntary cry of anguish and Iwaizumi pushed him back into his reclined position again. He cursed loudly.

_“A second warning for Tōru Oikawa. Another and Brazil forfeits the rally.”_

Iwaizumi glared back at Oikawa who was then clinging to the net, staring on with a red face. Iwaizumi could see the pain and guilt behind his eyes. He still didn’t have a grasp on the situation. Tony materialized beside Iwaizumi and helped him hoist Ryan up and support his weight. The setter continued crying and yelling and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if it was the pain in his knee or the knowledge that he couldn’t continue playing.

They began leading him away to the medics station and Oikawa subconsciously strayed after them. Once he crossed the net, the PA sounded again.

_“Brazil forfeits the rally. The first ever yellow card in the Olympic games, indoor volleyball division. Tōru Oikawa is making history in more than one way here. Set point to the USA.”_

Hinata saw Oikawa’s coach yelling after him, running up and grabbing him harshly. Oikawa was pulled back to the rest of his team, but his eyes were still on Ryan as he was helped away. Then, Hinata watched Ryan as he fought against Iwaizumi and Tony. The setter turned back and screamed at them. The pain in his voice was palpable.

 _“You tools better win or so help me_ GOD!”

_“Timeout by the USA.”_

Hinata’s body kicked into motion again as Cole dragged him back to their coach. He looked solemnly around the boys.

“This is _bad._ We need someone to step in for Ryan. Keijek, it’s gotta be you.”

“Are you sure?” John stood forward. “I… I’m not anywhere _near_ as good as Ryan.”

“Ryan’s not here,” their coach crossed his arms. “We’ve gotta get through this game.”

“It can’t be me,” John stammered.

“Then _what?”_ The coach snapped.

“Well, Cole’s always bragging about how he can pull of a quick with minimal practice,” John muttered, crossing his arms.

“No, it can’t be me.”

“No, he’s right,” the coach said.

“Then we won’t have a libero!” Cole exclaimed.

“You’re better off as our setter right now.”

“What?” Hinata asked. “Why don’t we put John in and have Cole make the sets from the libero position?”

“Because they have to sit out every other point if we win a rally on a ball they touch,” the coach sighed. “Plus, we need him to be able to attack.”

“I can’t do it,” Cole strained.

_“Why?”_

“Because if I go take his position, and we win, then that’ll just tell him we never needed him and we _do,”_ Cole snapped right back.

Hinata was reminded heavily of Asahi and Nishinoya. He shook his head and tried to focus.

“He would be more hurt if you laid down and quit,” Toby said. “Not to mention the rest of us!”

Cole looked around at all their expectant faces, “Fine.”

“Go change!” The coach shoved him by his back before going to speak to the moderators.

_“The USA will be proceeding without their libero and will be substituting number one, Ryan Nyholm for number seven, Cole Horowitz.”_

The coach returned and smiled weakly at them, “Okay, get back out there. Don’t let him down.”

The words Ryan often said sounded surprisingly empty coming from another mouth. Hinata made his way back out to his position.

Cole jogged out onto the court in the same uniform as the rest of them and it just hit the eye wrong. He belonged in white. Hinata sighed and lowered. Cole glanced around at them.

“If we’re doing this, then we’re _doing this,”_ he clapped. “Give ‘em hell. Ryan isn’t sitting out just to watch us lose!”

Hinata glanced at him and supposed it was true. Ryan would only blame himself further if they didn’t do everything they could to win. Cole was the second best on the team in his opinion in terms of chemistry. They could do it if they pushed hard enough.

_“First serve to Cole Horowitz, never seen before today. How will he do?”_

Hinata stood with his hands over the back of his head. He recalled their one practice game on Iwaizumi’s first day with them. It was the only time he’d seen Cole serve and it wasn’t _bad,_ but it wasn’t good enough for Ryan so it certainly wouldn’t be a challenge for Oikawa, either.

Cole pressed the ball between his hands when someone shouted from the crowd.

_“Obrecht! You can do it!”_

They looked up and saw Jacques spinning the noise maker, looking dead serious. Cole looked forward again, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply before spinning the ball in his hands.

The whistle blew and Cole opened his eyes with a small, humorless smile.

“Let’s do it, then.”

He threw the ball up, ran to meet it, and slammed it forward with unexpected force. Hinata audibly gasped as he watched Goshiki attempt to receive it, but it curved right at the end of its path and hit the very back of the line. The flags went down and the whistle blew.

_“Challenge by Brazil. The first of the game.”_

Hinata watched Oikawa closely. He didn’t even attempt to move during Cole’s serve. Did he crack? There’d be no pleasure in beating Oikawa if he wasn’t trying his hardest.

_“The challenge has determined the point is valid. The third set goes to the United States.”_

Cole high fived Toby before they all moved to switch sides. Hinata noticed Iwaizumi was back and he walked closely by as Oikawa passed him. Iwaizumi stopped him by the arm.

«He won’t forgive you if you don’t try.»

Oikawa stared at him for a second before looking forward again and continuing to the other side of the court. They all stood in position and Cole repeated his pre-serve ritual.

The whistle blew and he served in the same way, but Goshiki actually got it up that time. Oikawa watched the ball and moved slowly as he raised his hands up. Hinata watched closely, wondering who he’d set to. It was common knowledge that when Oikawa was in a tough position, he set to the ace, so he was willing to bet Goshiki would get the ball. The blockers seemed to sense Hinata’s thought process and ran to cover Goshiki as he approached. The ball landed gently in Oikawa’s fingers as he jumped and stared ahead to Goshiki, but then he pushed his hand forward and knocked the ball into their court himself.

_“A beautiful setter dump from Oikawa, reclaiming the point lost from his yellow card! Brazil takes the first point, reminding the USA that they have some tricks, too.”_

Brazil got the ball and served it up. Jackson received it and sent it up front to Cole, who watched it intently. It’d been a long time since Hinata hit a ball Cole set, and he was admittedly nervous. Their team stormed the net and Hinata jumped and swung just before the ball passed him. Toby sprinted and hit it back and Cole jumped to just get it over the net. Oikawa jumped as well, attempting to keep it out of his domain. The extra five inches Cole had on Oikawa proved useful as he won the joust and sent the ball over the net.

Oikawa glared filthily at him, as if he was a peasant unworthy of the throne he was awarded. Hinata assumed he probably thought exactly that. Cole didn’t back down from his gaze, offering him a glare of his own.

“Prove me wrong with your skills,” Cole rolled his eyes and turned away.

Oikawa didn’t stop glaring at him for another moment before he scoffed amusedly. He turned and went back to his position as well.

«I’ll show you where you belong,» he muttered. «And it’s _not_ where you are.»

_“The energy from these men is very intense as we settle into the fourth set. It’s now or never for Brazil.”_

Jackson served a jump float, and their libero sent it to the front. Oikawa touched the ball, Hinata was pretty sure anyways, it happened so quickly. He could hardly process the movement as the ball was sent back into their court. Fortunately for him, Rob got to it just in time to get a one touch.

“One touch! Cover!”

Cole ran to the ball, throwing himself down onto his knees, setting the ball backwards from an overhand position. Hinata pushed his admiration away so he could hit it over the net. Only the set didn’t go to him. It went to Toby. The ball slammed down with an intense velocity that their receivers couldn’t quite contain. The ball hit off their arms and rolled off the court.

_“Yet another photoesque move stolen straight from Atsumu Miya! It takes unmistakable skill to imitate his tosses! I’m beginning to wonder if Horowitz should even be a libero at all when his talent clearly lies in setting!”_

Cole looked genuinely irritated by the PA. Hinata sighed and called out to him.

“Ignore it!”

Cole looked through the net where Oikawa smirked at him. His scowl got deeper. Iwaizumi knew just by looking at him that it was no longer just about avenging Ryan for either of them. It was a battle of class. A king versus a peasant.

Jackson served again, and Brazil received it. Oikawa jumped, ready to spike, and the USA’s blockers rushed to mark him. At the last second, Oikawa set the ball to Goshiki who hit it over. Hinata attempted to receive it but it hit off his hands and rolled away.

_“Master of deception, Tōru Oikawa. He’s finally arrived, ladies and gentlemen!”_

Hinata panted with his hands on his knees. It was 28-28 and the rallies seemed to only get longer. He couldn’t help but notice how Cole was never okay with letting a point go. Ryan would allow a point to drop if he sensed his teammates were about to keel over. Cole made no such observations, but just told them to push harder. If there was a fifth set, Hinata genuinely wasn’t sure if he’d have it in him. But he needed to. He shook his head, feeling frustrated. They couldn’t get a lead. Nothing they did was enough to pull ahead.

“We just… We just need… two,” Hinata wheezed.

Cole pulled his shirt up and wiped his face, “Two!”

Toby slapped himself on his cheeks and shook his very sore hands out, “Yeah. Two.”

Oikawa watched them through the net, knowing he had them exactly where he wanted them. He held the ball in his hand and pointed directly at Cole.

«Face the facts, you’re simply outclassed.»

“I can’t understand you…” Cole muttered as he shook his hair out. “All I know is you _piss me off.”_

The whistle blew and Oikawa served. Cole watched it go before yelling.

“Out!”

The ball hit the line, but _just barely._ The flags went down as the whistle blew.

_“Challenge by the United States of America.”_

They all looked up to the screen as they waited for the final call. They watched the CGI ball barely hit the line, but it did, in fact, hit the line.

_“Point awarded to Brazil. Set point for Brazil.”_

Cole frowned deeply as he sunk back into his position.

“Don’t let them get this. End it here.”

“Yeah!”

Hinata’s legs shook. His game depended entirely on him running and _jumping, jumping, jumping._ Iwaizumi wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last. Cole also hardly set to him, opting instead for the person he had the most chemistry with, being Toby. That both threw a wrench in their offense _and_ defense. He never thought he’d see the day he thought it, but he missed Ryan. Cole may’ve been very technically skilled, but he was no leader. Ryan was the only person on that team capable of carrying them both physically and emotionally. It was a disturbing thought.

Oikawa served again and Cole hesitated as he went to receive it. At the last second, he stepped out of the way and let it go. He held his hands up and inflated his cheeks as he couldn’t tell what the ball was.

Hinata watched in anticipation as the flags went down and the whistle blew. Cole visibly deflated as he cursed. He looked to the coach who called for another challenge.

_“Only one challenge left for the United States.”_

They watched the screens, all holding their breaths as they waited for the call to load. The CGI ball crossed the screen and stopped where the real ball hit. The visual zoomed in and showed the ball was just _barely, hardly_ out of bounds.

_“Point awarded to the United States of America. The serve goes to Cole Horowitz.”_

Hinata sighed, they needed two points. Two. Then it’d be over. His breath hitched in his throat. Was he… hoping a game would end? He eyed Cole wearily as he held his hands to the back of his head and sighed again. He wished Ryan was back.

The whistle blew and Cole delivered a jump float. It hit the top of the net and rolled over to Brazil’s court. It hit the floor just on the other side of the net and right in front of their middle blocker’s hand.

“One more!” Jackson strained.

Cole caught the ball, and when the whistle blew, he served it again, but it fell into the net. Cole cursed and the rest of the team sighed. Hinata turned to the coach and held his hands up, forming a T. The coach called a timeout to the referee.

_“Timeout by the USA.”_

The team jogged painfully to the bench. The coach looked at Hinata.

“What’s going on?”

Hinata looked at Cole with his hands on his knees, urging himself to stay upright, “I’m having a problem with you.”

The rest of the team held their breaths as they watched Cole look severely down at Hinata.

“What?”

“You’re not doing it right.”

“Doing _what_ right?”

“Controlling us.”

“What?” Cole spat, confused.

“We’re all dying out there. Please, just end this.”

“You wasted a timeout for _that?”_ Cole shook his head. “You could’ve said that _out there_ and we’d still have two time outs.”

“Whatever,” Hinata rolled his eyes as Iwaizumi handed him a water bottle. He downed half of it before the buzzer called them back to the court.

They all lowered down against their bodys’ better judgement and waited for the serve. When it came, Jackson sent it up and back to Cole. Hinata forced his legs to move him forward.

“Bring it here!”

Cole looked at him, then sent the ball in his direction. Hinata jumped, using all that was in him to get his feet off the floor, smiling as he had a _clear_ view of the other side. Then his eyes widened as the set went _intentionally_ above him and to Toby. The middle blocker slammed the ball, and got stuff blocked by Oikawa. The ball hit the floor before Rob could get it. Hinata stared at the ball, then he snapped his head up and glared at Cole. He saw red. His hands shook as he clenched them into fists at his side.

_“Timeout by the USA. They have no timeouts left.”_

Hinata charged back to the bench, his anger making the pain go away momentarily. The second they were all there he threw his hands out.

_“I called for that ball!”_

Cole looked at him, expressionless, “Toby had a better shot.”

 _“I could_ see _the other side._ I’m _the ace. You send it to_ me!”

Iwaizumi recoiled a bit, having never seen Hinata that angry _or_ assertive before. It was attractive as hell, but also a little scary. Anger didn’t look good on him. Even though it sort of did.

“I don’t know what an ace is,” Cole said.

“Horowitz, I put you in in good faith. Hinata is our strongest hitter, use him. You’re wearing him out for no good reason,” the coach said and Hinata nearly kissed his feet.

“You put me in against my will,” Cole snapped. “And I never said he had to jump.”

«I hate you right now,» Hinata snapped, startling him. Cole knew better than anyone what it took to get someone to revert back to their native tongue. «I want to kick you in the ass. I wish— I wish there was _anyone_ else as a setter. You’re doing a bad job!»

“Calm down,” Cole said softly.

«You shut the fuck up!» Hinata moved in dangerously, and Iwaizumi’s eyes widened. «You’re not telling me what to do!»

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Cole raised his hands up.

_“Toss me the goddamn ball!”_

The team stared on in shock. They’d never, _ever_ seen Hinata yell like that. They’d never seen him angry. Even when he had to sit out for most games, he’d complain a bit, but he always kept himself in check.

“You’re making me wish we’d just lose so it’d be over! You’re worse than Kageyama when he was insufferable!”

Cole’s eyes widened. He lowered his hands slowly then scoffed shamefully.

“Ouch. Noted. I’m sorry, Shōyō.”

“Whatever,” Hinata scoffed back.

The buzzer called them back, and they moved back to the court. Despite the heavy confrontation, the mood felt somehow lighter between them. Hinata rode the high of losing his shit and savored the momentary lightness in his body due to the adrenaline. They lowered down as Brazil served.

Jackson sent the ball up front to Cole and the team all ran forward, every one of their legs screaming at them. Hinata found the stress in his body was too much for him. His eyes fell shut as he tried to shut out the pain and he put complete faith in the idea that Cole could, in fact, pull off a quick attack as good as Kageyama’s. His soul just about left his body as his hand made contact with the ball and he threw his whole body into the momentum of the spike. He opened his eyes and watched the ball slam past the blockers hands and go far out of bounds. He landed heavily on the floor, his legs not wanting to work anymore as he smiled. He threw his head back.

_“One more time!”_

“Yeah!”

Rob was up to serve. He delivered an intense spike serve and Hinata praised him mentally. Brazil received it and sent it to Oikawa, who made no indication of his intentions. Hinata watched him closely. Oikawa took a step forward as he looked at Goshiki. He wasn’t falling for it. It was a ploy. He kept his face straight as he stepped with Toby to Goshiki, and smirked as he saw Oikawa fall for it. He stopped his momentum with his left foot before he took another step and ran in the other direction the second the ball started leaving Oikawa’s fingers as he set behind him instead. Hinata jumped up and blocked their opposite hitter, slamming it right back against his hands and sending it out of bounds. He fell onto his knees and yelled loudly as his teammates tackled him. He was too weak to fight back and allowed them to suffocate him. They all screamed together.

_“In a completely unexpected turn of events, the United States of America takes the win from Brazil for the first time since 2008! 31-29 in the fourth set! Stay updated on Japan versus Italy after this to see who the United States will play against tomorrow!”_

Hinata looked over his teammates and saw Oikawa staring down at him. They all stood to shake hands under the net. Oikawa pointedly avoided Cole’s hand, then walked away angrily at his first opportunity. Hinata walked back to the bench and sat heavily. Iwaizumi squatted in front of him and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“You’re incredible!”

“Thanks,” Hinata smiled softly before frowning. “How’s Ryan?”

“I’m not sure yet. Go get changed and we’ll check on him.”

“Carry me, I can’t walk,” he held his arms out to Iwaizumi.

He smiled down at Hinata as he lifted him and carried him to the change room. He pushed the door open with his back and placed him down on the bench. He watched Cole approach Hinata wearily.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve tossed to you sooner.”

“You mean like when I called for it?”

“Yeah, before that, too,” Cole rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah. Thanks,” Hinata leaned down to untie his shoes.

“How can I make it up to you?”

“Toss me the fucking ball.”

Every head in the room snapped to him, all their hearts lurching at the sound of Hinata _swearing._ That _never_ happened. They honestly thought he just didn’t know how to swear in english. 

“Right,” Cole nodded. “I will. I learned my lesson.”

“Okay,” Hinata said with a _‘I’ll believe it when I see it’_ tone.

Cole nodded again and walked away to finish changing. Iwaizumi squatted in front of him again and put his hands over his knee pads before whispering.

«Don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh?»

Hinata paused before ripping his shoes off, «Probably. I’m sorry. I’m just really angry.»

«Why?»

«I miss Ryan.»

«Yeah, I hear you.»

Hinata looked at him before gently removing his hands from his knees and taking the pads off, «It just feels like I’m starting from zero again. Like I’m back in high school and no one believes in me— especially Kageyama. He didn’t set to me for a _long_ time. It just… sucks.»

Iwaizumi frowned deeply, «I don’t think he doesn’t believe in you.»

Hinata shrugged, «That’s just how it feels.»

Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say. He stood and waited for Hinata to finish changing, folding his clothes for him as he went. He slung his bag over his chest before bending down so he could climb up on his back.

“I love you, Iwa. You make me happy,” Hinata sighed into his hair.

“I love you, too, Shō. You make me so proud.”

“Thank you.”

“You earned it.”

The team all walked out to the lobby together. They saw Ryan waving largely at them at the far side of the room, amongst the hundreds of strangers. They rushed over and Hinata slid off Iwaizumi’s back to kneel next to him.

“You’re in a wheelchair? Is it that bad?”

Ryan ruffled his hair and gestured to his knee, wrapped tightly in a brace, “Dislocated kneecap. Or a patellar subluxation. Should fully recover with physio and enough time. I’m in this bad boy until we get out of here. Tony’s grabbing crutches for me as we speak.”

Hinata nodded, “So, you’ll play again.”

Ryan nodded with a sad smile, “Yeah, but not for at least a year.”

Iwaizumi couldn’t stop his laugh and shrunk under everyone’s dirty looks. Ryan laughed back.

“What is it, Iwadaddy?”

“It’s just… now you’re _really_ like Oikawa.”

Ryan cocked his head so Iwaizumi continued, pointing to his knee, “That’s why Oikawa wears a compression brace when he plays. He had a partial dislocation from overworking himself. It’s just, I don’t know… What’s the word?”

He snapped a few times before looking at Hinata, who finished his sentence for him, “Ironic.”

“Yes, ironic.”

Ryan’s smile fell as he pointed to the television he was watching the rest of the game on, “He must not be very happy.”

“No, I—“

Iwaizumi was cut off by the room exploding with noise. They saw a large swarm of people by the mouth of the gymnasium. Then, he heard Oikawa yell.

«I swear to god, I will start swinging! I want everyone away from me!»

Then they heard his manager address them, “No questions! Please, give us space!”

They watched Brazil’s manager just barely get people out of the way in time for Oikawa to blow past them all. He wore black jeans, a black jacket and dark sunglasses. He looked entirely pissed off. Iwaizumi was unaccustomed to seeing his friend have such a public meltdown. Oikawa stormed past them and Hinata yelled out.

“Oikawa!”

Oikawa glared over at him, stopping dead in his tracks, shoving his bag further behind him before his eyes landed on Ryan. His expression softened immediately and he rushed over.

“Where are you going Tōru? We’re leaving!” His manager sounded exasperated.

Oikawa threw his bag down harshly before leaning down and pressing his forehead against Ryan’s, holding his cheek tenderly.

 _“What in the fu—“_ Cole gasped. 

Oikawa gripped the front of Ryan’s shirt tightly, careful to avoid his bad knee. Ryan closed his eyes and laughed lightly.

«Are you okay?»

“Are you alright?”

They fell silent, both irritated by the language barrier. Hinata moved back, willing himself to stand and walk so he could lean on Iwaizumi. They all pretended not to watch, but they were all definitely watching.

Ryan opened his eyes and looked down to his hand where Oikawa’s tear landed. He looked up and gaped at him before pushing him back slightly. He reached up and removed his sunglasses, revealing his puffy eyes.

“Oh, _Tōru,”_ Ryan chuckled, nothing more than a hefty exhale, “No, don’t do that.”

Cole made eye contact with Iwaizumi and mouthed, _‘What the fuck?’_ and Iwaizumi just dismissed him with a headshake.

«I’m so sorry.»

Ryan wiped Oikawa’s face with his sleeve, “You’re okay. Don’t cry. Okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa forced out.

“What?” Ryan pulled back. “Don’t apologize!”

«I hurt everyone I meet.»

Iwaizumi flinched at the words, recalling his interaction with Kageyama in middle school, knowing that was exactly what he was referring to.

Oikawa gripped Ryan tighter, «Will you play again?»

Ryan pet his hair and pulled him into his chest, drawing the attention of the paparazzi. They ignored the chatter, attention and camera flashes as Ryan kissed the top of his head.

“You didn’t do this. It isn’t forever, either! I’ll recover.”

«If you can’t play again, I’ll never forgive myself. This is my fault. _I’m sorry.»_

Hinata covered his face with his hands, «He’ll recover, Oikawa. He’ll be okay.»

Oikawa looked to him before snapping his head back to Ryan and actually smiling a little bit, «Thank god.»

“Look, we’re twins!” Ryan laughed and pointed between their knees.

Oikawa looked where he pointed and laughed lightly when he caught on, «That’s pretty funny.»

“Oikawa!” Their manager called before yelling at him rapidly in Portuguese. Oikawa glanced at him before pressing a kiss to Ryan’s lips.

«I love you, you incurable idiot,» Oikawa whispered before looking at Hinata, «And don’t you _dare_ translate that.»

Ryan smiled at him as he held his hand for as long as he could as he walked away and then picked up his bag. Ryan held his hand out after him long after he was gone before sighing happily and pressing his hand to his cheek.

“Hey, so, what the _fuck?”_ Cole tried again.

“Oh,” Ryan looked at him dreamily, “I’m pathetically in love with Tōru Oikawa.”

They stared at him with varying levels of shock as he looked back to where Oikawa disappeared.

“He’s on a lot of medication,” Tony said as he appeared with the crutches, just missing the Oikawa debacle. “Try not to crowd him.”

Iwaizumi helped Tony help him up after handing Hinata off to Jackson. Then it occurred to him that Leilani wasn’t around all day. That was the _exact_ reason they brought her. He’d definitely be having words with her later. They forced the crutches under Ryan’s arms and helped him out to the bus.

“I’m hungry,” Ryan looked at them.

“We’ll get you food at the hotel,” Iwaizumi said.

“Hey, Iwadaddy?”

“Yes, Ryan?”

“Are you fucking Akaashi?”

They all faltered for half a beat before Iwaizumi’s face flushed a bright red, “No, I’m not.”

Hinata looked to see Jackson’s reaction, but he just averted his gaze.

“I love Tōru,” Ryan smiled again.

“I know you do.”

“Ima marry ‘im.”

“For sure, Ryan.”

They got him on the bus and when he was all settled, Iwaizumi sat heavily beside Hinata, who looked out the window.

“You’re glum for someone who just won a game,” Iwaizumi poked him. “Even if your setter got seriously injured.”

“Hm?” Hinata glanced at him. “Yeah, I guess.”

Iwaizumi sighed heavily, “Is it Ryan’s question? He’s as high as a kite, Shōyō.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s too off base.”

Iwaizumi watched him watch out the window before sighing again, «Do I need to tell you what I told you after Goshiki again?»

«No.»

«What do I need to do, then?»

«I don’t know.»

“Okay.”

Iwaizumi took his headphones out and plugged them in. He drowned out the outside world for the short, short ride back to the hotel. When they arrived, Iwaizumi helped Ryan to his room, where Oikawa waited for him. He didn’t question why he was there, because of course he was there. He smiled and passed the setter off to his old friend.

«Thanks, Iwa-chan.»

Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand as he unlocked the door and handed the key to him, «Of course.»

He started walking away, and Oikawa was about to close the door when he turned back.

«Shittykawa,» he called and Oikawa looked back out at him.

«Yeah?»

«He loves you too.»

Oikawa stared at him for a moment before smiling, «Thank you.»

«Goodnight.»

«Goodnight, Iwa-chan.»

He smiled and waved to his friend as the door shut between them. He frowned and made his way back to his room. He wasn’t sure why Hinata was so insecure. He wasn’t interested in Akaashi like that, and even if he was, it wouldn’t matter. He only ever had eyes for his fiance and he didn’t know how to make that clearer.

His hand hovered over his door handle before shaking his head and walking away. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that fight. He moved down the hall and knocked on Leilani’s door, more prepared for that fight.

He had to knock three times before she answered the door. She wore pajamas and her hair was an absolute mess. Her eyes were swollen and her skin was pale.

“Oh, hey,” her voice was hoarse. “What’s up?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” she allowed him in and he stood in the middle of the room.

“Are you hung over or something?”

“No,” she crawled back into the bed and wrapped herself up tightly. “I think I have food poisoning. Sorry I wasn’t there today.”

“Ryan dislocated his knee. He’s out for at least a year.”

 _“What?”_ She sat up slightly before groaning and laying back down.

“Yeah. It really sucks.”

“Who subbed?”

“Cole.”

“Really? So you just don’t have a libero now?”

“That’s the case. We barely got by for one set today, I can’t imagine we’ll win tomorrow.”

“That’s the spirit,” she said flatly, shutting her eyes. “At least Ryan will play again.”

“Yeah, not soon enough. Cole was a disaster as a leader. I thought he wasn’t the captain because he’s the libero, but it’s definitely also because he can’t handle it. I couldn’t believe it, but I actually missed Ryan.”

“Wow,” she said, clearly falling back asleep.

He frowned at her, “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, putting her hand over her eyes.

“Okay, goodnight,” he said quietly. 

He left the room after turning out the lights and sighed, resigning to his fate of fighting with Hinata. He went back to his room and went inside only to see Hinata laying on his bed, watching something on his phone.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Hinata said.

Iwaizumi moved to the bathroom and washed his face before going back out. Hinata looked up at him.

“I ordered food.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

Iwaizumi looked at him, “What?”

“You seem really upset.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I just don’t know how else to prove to you how I feel.”

“I’m sorry. I just… it made me very uncomfortable the way you two interacted.”

“I won’t do it again.”

Hinata nodded and whispered, “Thank you.”

“It’s just weird,” Iwaizumi leaned on the wall and crossed his arms. “It felt like I’d known him forever. But in a different way from Oikawa.” Hinata looked up at him. “Like, with Oikawa we were friends by happenstance and learned to care for each other. But Akaashi is actually just like minded. We talked about mental health and medication and a bunch of other things I feel like other people don’t really understand.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t feel anything romantic towards him, but I think he’s a really beautiful person. And it was nice because whenever he’d laugh, it’d just sound like you, and that made me feel really good, because I like your laugh. I love you. I don’t know, it’s just also nice having friends that aren’t you, too.”

Hinata frowned, “You have lots of friends.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I probably sound very childish and I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time. When I talk to Akaashi I can tell that he also feels like he’s talking to someone who just _gets_ him and…”

Iwaizumi cut himself off. He wasn’t sure why he was bothering.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Iwaizumi looked back at him. “Why?”

“I should be more understanding. I’m still learning. I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t be behaving in ways that make you uncomfortable. It’s just instinct for me to take care of people the way I never was.”

“I love that about you. You took a bad situation and became better for it, not worse.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I take back what I said? Hearing your explanation changed my mind.”

“If you can’t change your mind then there’s no point in learning.”

They hesitantly smiled at each other and Hinata patted the bed beside him. Iwaizumi laid beside him then leaned in to see what he was watching.

“So you were upset about Akaashi and came in here to watch his content?”

“Hm, I wanted to see how many subscribers he had because everyone seems to know him, then I saw his most popular video called, _‘I’VE HAD IT. OFFICIALLY.’_ and wanted to watch it.”

“How many subscribers does he have?”

“Fourteen million.”

_“Million?”_

“Million,” Hinata nodded. “Want to watch it? I only just started it.”

“Sure.”

Hinata rewound the video the entire forty seconds he got into it.

_Akaashi looked into the camera as he sat at a desk with a water bottle beside him. The background was a generally all white, expensive looking home. He cleared his throat and raised his hand in greeting._

_‘Hey, Judy. I’m not going to waste time here because we’re already looking at a hefty runtime. You know I don’t get involved in drama, it’s just not my brand, but today we’re going to be addressing the entire Kōtarō Bokuto and Carina Ricci situation. I’m not about to sit here and cry to you guys, because, frankly, you’re smarter than that and it just doesn’t need to happen. I made a mistake and need to own up to that.’_

Iwaizumi looked at Hinata, dreading whatever was coming from the video.

 _‘I’d like to begin with, this really shouldn’t be anyone’s business aside from the parties involved, but since it’s been so graciously brought to the public's eye, I need to talk about it. To get to the point, yes, Bokuto cheated on Carina. With me. That happened. Yes, I left my ex boyfriend in Japan and broke up with him over the phone when I got to Italy. No, I did not cheat on him with Bokuto. I did not_ seduce _Bokuto.’_

“Wait, what?” Hinata asked.

 _‘For the record, Bokuto and I have a history. I didn’t just come out of the woodworks or use job connections to_ stalk _a model and athlete and prey on him, trying to convince him of his sexuality in any which way. I’ll put some photographic evidence of this up on the screen.’_

_The screen passed with a few photos of Akaashi and Bokuto in a clearly romantic relationship with time stamps._

_‘As you can see, we dated through his second and third year of high school. We broke up when he went pro. Then clearly, we got back together. I made a mistake, a big one, and I came clean and apologized as soon as possible.’_

_He pointed to his bandaged nose, ‘And clearly it was_ very _well received. In case she didn’t hear it the first time, because shock happens, I get that, I’ll say it again.’_

_He put his hands down and looked very sincerely into the camera, ‘Carina, I am genuinely, insanely sorry for what I did to you. My intent was never to inflict any pain on you. I had absolutely no intentions at all when I came here other than to reconnect with my most prominent friend that I’d been missing. I mean that. I never expected anything. And I’m sorry. I really wish it hadn’t happened like this.’_

_He sighed and sat back, ‘That aside, I’m sure you noticed this video isn’t monetized. And as I’ve said before, I don’t care about monetization for a few reasons. I like to talk about anything I want to talk about and I have a real job, offline. These things actually go together right now, because I want to talk about how I actually_ lost _my real job due to these wild accusations going around. I do Youtube for the sense of community, which is normally amazing. But lately, this has been terrible. I have people I’ve literally never met, calling me all sorts of things and saying I’ve done these wild, criminal things. And honestly, I could’ve dealt with it if it were just about the things I’ve actually done.’_

 _He looked away for a second before looking back, ‘I have never tried to sway someone’s sexuality. I do not dress femininely to seduce straight men. That’s an extremely toxic and damaging belief to push for an entire community. I have never,_ ever, ever, ever _texted minors in my life. I arrange all collaborations with minors through a third party, management company, literally to avoid this accusation after seeing what this community is capable of.’_

_The screen flashed with many screenshots of collaboration agreements and clean DMs._

_‘I started this whole thing to get a grip on myself again. Discovering makeup and fashion through Youtube then_ on _Youtube and having it turn into what it did is amazing. I’m so grateful for all of my Judies. Truly. But you need to remember that I don’t know most of you, and you don’t really know me. I am a full ass person on the other side of your screen. I have a life that I really do live every day. All those things I started Youtube for, they’re just not… healthy right now. I can’t say any more on the actual Carina situation as we_ are _pursuing that legally, but I want to cover some other things.’_

_He ran through several other points in vast detail with copious amounts of evidence, really debunking the rumors about him._

_He sighed, ‘I’m taking a break from Youtube. A long one. I just… need the space to be okay with myself in my life again. Hopefully you’ll still be here when I get back. Thank you for watching, and… Stay hydrated, get at least seven hours of sleep whenever possible, and just stay healthy, guys. Take care of yourselves. Put your needs first. You’re the only one who has to live with you forever. Make it beautiful. Goodbye.’_

“Wow, what?” Hinata asked again.

“Yeah, that happened,” Iwaizumi muttered. “Hey, it’s your sister!”

Hinata looked at the screen as autoplay put on the next video. He read the title out.

 _“Commentary with Akaashi Keiji._ One year ago. I feel like garbage, but I haven’t watched her videos in a long time. Years.”

_Natsu and Akaashi sat at a computer desk in her apartment. She beamed at the camera and Akaashi smiled awkwardly._

_‘Hi! Welcome back to my channel! Today, Keiji has graciously rejoined me for some commentary. Now, you don’t do commentary. You do makeup and fashion reviews, occasionally music, but this is a new world for you.’_

_‘Yeah,’ Akaashi smiled at her. ‘I’m a petty bitch, though, I’m excited.’_

_‘Awesome!’ She clapped then laughed. ‘We’re focusing entirely on your fanbase and the people who don’t much care for you!’_

_‘Awesome,’ Akaashi said flatly then laughed._

_She turned back to the camera, ‘For those that aren’t aware,_ somehow, _after the whole drama last year and Keiji came back from a break from Youtube and canceled three people’s lives with three short videos, there was a great divide on the platform. No one is really_ indifferent _towards Keiji. You either love him or hate him completely. So, we’re going to take a look at that today.’_

 _There was a cut in the video as she set something up on the computer, ‘Are you aware you have_ theme songs?’

_‘I have theme songs?’ He laughed. ‘No, but I can’t wait to see it.’_

_‘This is the one the haters gave you,’ she said as she clicked onto a song. ‘It’s called,_ ‘Don’t Mess With Me _by_ Temposhark’.”

_Akaashi laughed and snorted, ‘Sounds promising.’_

_A techno beat started playing and he listened intently as he watched the screen with a blank face._

‘How it all began, if truth be told

Had a master plan; now I rule the world’

_Akaashi giggled and shook his head._

‘Took them by surprise, worked my way uphill

They looked into my eyes; I became invincible

Show me sex appeal, get on your hands and knees

Forget about the the meal, it's best to keep me pleased

Imagine if you will, our meet on the block

I've got time to kill, so how about a quick fuck?’

_Akaashi looked at her, shocked and laughed indignantly as he covered his mouth. Natsu watched on with an amused smile._

_‘Oh, my god,’ he laughed._

‘I've come, it's been fun

But won't you please disappear?

Something tells me that you can't further my career’

_Akaashi laughed so hard he snorted and Natsu laughed hard at him._

‘Cause all your heads are gonna roll

I've made your misery my goal

So if you want survival, kneel on my arrival

This is how I rule the world’

 _‘They think I’m such a_ bad _bitch!’ Akaashi clapped as he laughed. ‘Oh, my god, I love it!’_

‘No one can stop me, for only I am in control

And if you want me you'd better contact my people

See my crown? I am king’

_Akaashi pointed to his head, ‘King. Bokuto calls me that all the time.’_

‘I love the endless worshiping

I am raw, a dinosaur, but I will never be extinct

So don't mess with me; I'll shoot you down

Don't mess with me; I'll knock you down

Don't mess with me; I'll shoot you down

Don't mess with me’

_They sat back as their giggles died out and the song ended, but both had a goofy smile on their faces._

_‘What’d you think?’ Natsu asked._

_‘See, was that supposed to be insulting?’ He asked. ‘It made me feel so powerful! Obviously I don’t go around just cancelling people. I haven’t been in a scandal since I moved to Italy, but,_ damn. _If those are my haters—‘_

Hinata closed the video in favor of another one he found by his sister titled, _‘TRIBUTE TO MY BROTHER— California Dreamin’ - The Mamas & The Papas.’ _

_Natsu sat at a piano and smiled at the camera, “Hey, guys! Welcome back to my channel. Some of you may be aware that I am in fact Hinata Shōyō’s little sister. Yes, yes,_ that _Hinata Shōyō. Pretty impressive, I know. But his volleyball team just qualified for the Olympics so I wanted to celebrate him with a little cover of_ California Dreamin’. _Please give him all of your support!_ _I love and miss you, Shōyō! I hope you enjoy.’_

_She turned back to the piano and began playing elegantly, then sang in a voice far better than Hinata’s._

_‘All the leaves are brown_

_And the sky is grey_

_I've been for a walk_

_On a winter's day_

_I'd be safe and warm_

_If I was in L.A._

_California dreamin'_

_On such a winter's day_

_Stopped into a church_

_I passed along the way_

_Well, I got down on my knees_

_And I pretend to pray_

_You know the preacher like the cold_

_He knows I'm gonna stay_

_California dreamin'_

_On such a winter's day_

_All the leaves are brown_

_And the sky is grey_

_I've been for a walk_

_On a winter's day_

_If I didn't tell her_

_I could leave today_

_California dreamin'_

_On such a winter's day_

_On such a winter's day_

_On such a winter's day’_

Iwaizumi looked at Hinata as he turned his screen off as she waved to the camera, screaming her well wishes for him. He had tears in his eyes and his face was all red.

“I’m such a bad brother.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I had no idea she made that. She's so talented.”

“She is. She had six million subs, too. That’s insane..”

Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around Hinata and pulled him close so he could just hold him as he felt bad, because he wasn’t sure what else he could really do. There was a knock at the door and Iwaizumi went to retrieve the food. He placed it on the desk after paying for it and returned to his fiance.

“We used to be so close,” Hinata said. “I just got so busy with volleyball and my own life that we drifted apart and I never thought much of it.”

“You can still reach out to her, you know. Especially now that we’re in Japan.”

Hinata smiled at him, “I will.”

“Good.”

“Let’s eat because I’m absolutely dead inside.”

Iwaizumi laughed, “Good idea.”


	17. Bigger And Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this contains porn, too

The next morning found them in a boardroom after breakfast. The coach stared at them with crossed arms and Hinata already felt defeated with Ryan’s absence.

“Yesterday was rough. It’s understandable that our morale is down, but we can’t give up. We’re one away from the gold, we can do this. Yesterday Italy lost in the fourth set at a devastating 12-25.”

They stared in shock. _Italy?_ Italy lost that badly? They had Bokuto, that was impossible! The coach sighed.

“We’re going to keep Cole as our setter for this game as well. They graciously decided to allow us to have Elijah for our libero. At least we have that.”

Hinata sighed heavily and the coach looked at him, “I know you had your problems yesterday, but you should take this time to talk about it.”

There was a knock on the door and they all looked over as the hotel manager peeked in. The coach furrowed his brow and checked the clock.

“We still have an hour, don’t we?”

“Yes sir,” the hotel manager said. “But you have a visitor.”

“A visitor?” The coach balked. “Who is possibly important enough to dis—“

The door pushed open and Jacques entered the room, silencing the coach immediately.

“Are you _Jacques Heroux?”_

“Yes, sir,” he shook his hand before turning to Cole and pointing to himself with a smile, “Obrecht, it’s Papa!”

The coach’s eyes widened as he watched Cole slap his forehead.

“Hi, Papa. We’re in a meeting right now.”

“I know,” he ruffled his hair. “Ryan called me.”

“How does Ryan have your number?” Cole outraged.

“I spoke to him while you all changed and he asked for it.”

Hinata’s face went white. That was all it took to get his phone number? He wanted it, too!

“If your coach doesn’t mind, I have some insight for you all.”

The coach nodded eagerly and sat down, just as starstruck as everyone else. Jacques stood before them all and his happy demeanour fell, and suddenly looked much like Cole.

“Your last set wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good. And I’m not speaking technically. You did an amazing job at keeping the ball in play and made some _excellent_ decisions. Obrecht, are you going to play as setter again this game?”

Cole sighed heavily, “It looks that way.”

Jacques nodded and looked around them all, “Ryan is clearly your leader. He’s the moral backbone of this team. I noticed how he kept you all in check emotionally, physically and competitively. It’s the trait of a great leader and setter to understand his team’s needs and preferences at every moment while also focusing entirely on the game. It’s hard to do and Ryan does an amazing job at it. That’s why he’s, in my opinion, the best setter in the league right now. Followed closely by Oikawa, of course.”

Hinata nodded, eagerly agreeing to the sentiment. Ryan was his favorite setter he ever played with.

“Of course, Kageyama is technically skilled and somewhat perceptive to his team’s needs, but he’s still learning. And I know a lot of you have your roots in setting, which is why you only have one official setter, right?”

The coach nodded.

“Being a setter is much more than technical skill. So, so much more. And Obrecht, I say this with love, but you’re simply _terrible_ at the other aspects of the position.”

Cole slunk into his seat, knowing it was true.

“You allowed the rallies to go on for far too long, you didn’t communicate with your hitters, you ran poor Hinata so ragged that _my_ legs hurt just watching him. You barely passed to him and that’s a _big_ mistake. When your back is against the wall, you pass to your strongest hitter. Always. He has your back, so trust him.”

“Right,” Cole nodded. “I know that now.”

“Good.”

“It’s just so hard taking his place,” Cole muttered. “I feel like I can’t play if it means replacing him.”

“You either plan on playing or you plan on dying,” Ryan said from the door.

They all looked over at him with a smile and Hinata rushed to get him sitting with his bad leg elevated.

“Nyholm, you’re supposed to be resting,” the coach snapped, but he smiled.

Ryan sat back after adjusting his leg, “I’m still on this team whether you like it or not. I should be here.”

The coach nodded, “Fair enough.”

Jacques laughed, “Welcome, son. That actually leads me into my next point, _don’t get hurt.”_

Ryan cackled, “It wasn’t a conscious decision or anything. I’d way rather break a finger or two than sit out for a year.”

“That’s good news,” Jacques said before turning back to the team. “I’ve seen what you can do defensively. I’ve never seen Elijah play, but I have to imagine he has good skill if he’s here at the Olympics to back up my son. Keep on your game. Break out the left handed players. Japan has Ushijima but you all know how to handle the lefties. They won’t be able to adjust fully in just one game. Take advantage of their strengths. That’s _your_ strength.”

They cocked their heads at him.

“The undeniable fact is that the stronger your opponent is, the stronger you are. You’re all parrots. You see something and try it and you usually get it, too. You use their strengths and throw it right back at them.”

“Cole’s overhand set was really impressive yesterday,” Ryan agreed. “Too bad he’s a tyrannical douchenozzle.”

“I _learned,”_ Cole snapped at him, then looked guilty directly after.

“Good,” Jacques said. “The team needs a leader now that Ryan’s out. Step up, son.”

“Yes, sir.”

“The USA has historically been a strong team, but you boys brought it to a new level. That quick attack was unlike anything I could even dream of.”

Hinata’s heart fluttered and swelled with pride.

“But now you need to use regular quicks. Which is fine. Compensate with decoys and get selective and creative with your spikes,” Jacques looked at Hinata. “And remember the ball is coming to you slower than you’re used to.”

“Right, I—“

“No, I’ll set faster.”

Hinata stared at Cole in shock, “It’s fine if you can’t do it. I can adjust.”

“No, I’ll adjust to you. Don’t change anything and just…” Cole looked at him. “Don’t give up on me.”

Hinata smiled wickedly and nodded once.

“Good. You’ve made your country proud so far, don’t let them down now. Fight for them, for Ryan and for yourselves. Kageyama Tobio is talented, and they also have Ushijima Wakatoshi, Suna Rintarō and Osamu Miya. Don’t take it lightly and never give up. Remember you’re a team and all plays are valid. Never look down. Keep the ball high. You’re all young, talented and beautiful. I’m proud of you.”

“Sir!”

Their coach ran them through their strategy before allowing them to break off for an hour before they left for the game. Hinata took Iwaizumi’s hand and led him back to their room. The second the door was shut, Hinata was on his knees, undoing his belt.

Iwaizumi laughed and ran his hands through his hair, “You _really_ have a praise kink, huh?”

His laugh fell short as Hinata took him in his mouth and simply looked up at him with bedroom eyes. Iwaizumi cursed and tugged on his hair. After a few minutes, Iwaizumi leaned his hand on the door to stabilize himself as he held Hinata’s head firm by his hair and thrusted into his mouth. He wasn’t sure why, but his mind went back to the first night they spent together at his house, when Iwaizumi made the decision to hold him as they fell asleep. He really wanted to kiss him that night. He wanted to run his hands all over his body and make him his, non-hypothetically. It was one of the only good memories he had at his childhood home.

His heart swelled violently with love for Hinata as he looked down and saw him playing with himself. He closed his eyes and groaned loudly as he released down his fiance’s throat. Hinata pulled away with a loud squelching sound and Iwaizumi had to groan again. It was just such a beautiful noise. He watched Hinata swallow then got on his knees in front of him and swatted his hand away to replace it with his own.

Iwaizumi moved his hand along his erection, playing with it in the ways he knew Hinata liked. He pulled him in by the back of his neck and engaged him in a very open mouthed kiss. He _adored_ how he could taste himself on his mouth. It was the only way he should ever taste. The vibrations of Hinata’s moans against his tongue sent chills down his spines, fighting with the heat his needy thrusts sent. His fiance gripped his shirt tightly as he tensed up and pulled closer. Iwaizumi pulled away and caught his mess in his mouth just in the nick of time. When he sat up, he swallowed dramatically and showed Hinata his empty mouth as evidence of his commitment, earning him a soft moan.

Hinata leaned forward and kissed him sweetly, “Thank you.”

“No, thank _you.”_

Iwaizumi stood and returned his pants to their proper position before helping Hinata do the same. They both moved to the bathroom to brush their teeth and Iwaizumi had another memory. It was when Hinata made him name every object he came into contact with, using their english name, making even the most simple tasks torture. He laughed as he picked up his toothbrush and Hinata looked at him strangely. He held up his toothbrush.

«Toothbrush.»

«Your english is way better now,» Hinata teased before shoving his own toothbrush in his mouth.

“Thanks, it was hard,” Iwaizumi laughed humorlessly before he brushed his own teeth.

They walked back out to the lobby, deciding they’d spend the rest of their time just watching people because there really wasn’t much else to do. Hinata clung tightly to Iwaizumi’s arm. They saw Oikawa and Ryan say goodbye before the game. The American setter leaned onto his crutches and Oikawa’s hands clung to his bag’s strap. They smiled softly, knowing words wouldn’t help much.

Oikawa leaned in and pressed a kiss to his mouth and Ryan ran his hand from the back of his head, down his neck, and settled on his lower back. When he pulled away, Ryan just put his forehead on the top of his head with his eyes closed before sighing and pressing a small kiss to his hair. He pulled away and patted his shoulder. Oikawa took his hand.

“Good luck.”

“See you later, Tōru.”

Oikawa held onto his hand for as long as possible as he walked away, and maintained eye contact for as long as possible before turning and catching Iwaizumi’s eye.

«You’re out of here?»

«For now, but I’m watching the game and going to that party that Bokuto’s been talking about after the closing ceremonies.»

Iwaizumi nodded, «Good, I’m glad I’ll get to see you again while we’re here.»

«Sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, Iwa-chan.»

«I understand. Me too.»

Oikawa smiled warmly at him before glaring down at Hinata, «Learned some new tricks, did you?»

«Yep!» Hinata beamed at him.

Iwaizumi’s brain nearly exploded as he saw the corner of Oikawa’s mouth tilt up to the slightest degree. 

«Beat them today. For me.»

Hinata nodded determinedly, «I will, great king!»

The setter slapped them both on the shoulders before nodding once and walking away. Hinata almost died of shock when he heard Kageyama from behind him.

«Your setter is out. Now what?»

He jumped and held his heart, «Jesus, where’d you come from?»

Kageyama just stood, expecting a response. Hinata leaned on the table between them with the sweetest smile Iwaizumi had _ever_ seen before he reached over and touched Kageyama’s nose.

«I’m not talking to you until you tell me about how you and Kunimi came to be!»

Kageyama scrunched his face up and swatted him away, «I got in a physical fight with Kindaichi at a bar one night then Kunimi actually defended me to him. We ended up hooking up and it just… hasn’t stopped yet.»

«Wow, romantic,» Iwaizumi said flatly.

«What about when you wanted to hit on Leilani?» Hinata asked.

«Who?»

«Our lady trainer,» Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes.

«Oh,» Kageyama laughed. «You’d be blind to say she isn’t attractive. Before she cut her hair, anyways. I don’t know why she did that.»

«But… Kunimi.»

«I wouldn’t have _done_ anything,» Kageyama rolled his eyes. «I also wanted to annoy Oikawa.»

«No, that’s not childish at all,» Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed further.

«Your approval means nothing to me,» Kageyama looked from him to Hinata, «You going with the libero again? He wasn’t very good.»

«What? He’s _really_ good!» Hinata glared at him.

«Maybe with the ball, but not with you guys. He’ll be the reason you lose.»

“Stop talking about this, Shōyō. We don’t need to justify anything.”

«No, let him pop off, Hajime. It’ll make it way more satisfying when he loses.»

Iwaizumi watched between them as they glared heavily at each other with equally wicked smiles. He was torn between annoyance and competition.

«Ugh, get a room.»

He walked away wondering why _that_ was what came out of his mouth. It felt like he reverted back to his high school self and he was talking to Oikawa. Maybe it was because their competition was a very high school thing. Maybe it was because he just didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know and as the seconds passed, he found he also didn’t care.

He patted his pockets for his phone and remembered he left it in the room. He cursed and turned back to retrieve it. When he turned the corner in the hall, he saw Ushijima walking towards him. Iwaizumi stopped and eyed him up.

“Why are _you_ in our hall?”

“I was looking for Ryan,” Ushijima gestured behind him. “I wanted to wish him a speedy recovery.”

“Oh, last I saw he was in the lobby.”

“Thank you,” Ushijima said as he passed.

“Sure.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.”

He turned back and saw Ushijima looking at him, “Yes?”

“We’re winning the gold today. Without your setter, your team is worthless.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi nodded. “Thank you.”

Ushijima stared him down for a moment before leaving. Iwaizumi continued to his room when Leilani opened her door and looked out. She looked better, but not by much.

“You coming today?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I got a _super_ value pack of ginger gravol and a two litre of ginger ale. I’m in this.”

“Good, get dressed and I’ll walk you out.”

She nodded and disappeared back into her room. Iwaizumi went to retrieve his phone and clicked the screen on. He had a missed call from Natsu, which was very strange. His heart hammered as he dialed her back. His heart sunk further with each ring.

“Hajime?”

“Hey, Natsu. Sorry I missed your call. Is everything okay?”

He winced against the static and background noise for her end and she shouted over it, “Yeah! Everything’s good! I was just calling to let you know that I’m here to watch the game!”

“Oh, cool. I’ll tell Shōyō!”

“No!” He held the phone away from his ear as she yelled. “I want to surprise him!”

Iwaizumi laughed, “Sounds good. I’ll be sure we stick around long enough after that we see you!”

“Thank you, brother in law! Love you!”

“Love you, too. See you soon.”

“Yep!”

He held the phone down when she hung up and smiled at it. If she minded the absence in her relationship with Shōyō, she sure didn’t show it. It was generally a Hinata trait to be unbothered when people were busy as they tended to be busy people themselves and popular enough to never feel lonely. Iwaizumi pocketed his phone and made his way to the bus, linking arms with Leilani on the way and taking her two litre of ginger ale.

They got on and Iwaizumi sat next to Hinata, who was deathly still and had his eyes shut. He didn’t want to disturb him, because he figured he was getting into the zone for the most important match of his career until that point. Just as the driver was about to shut the door someone yelled from outside.

_“You wait just a damn minute!”_

Iwaizumi stood and watched Ryan crutch to the bus as fast as his crippled leg could take him. He threw his crutches in and hopped up the stairs before taking the seat across from their coach and Tony.

“Nyholm, you’re supposed to be resting! Or do you never want to heal?”

Ryan glared at the coach, “I _told you,_ I am part of this team whether you like it or not and I’m _going.”_

“He’s already here,” Tony said. “May as well let him.”

The coach rolled his eyes and sat back and Ryan smiled smugly as he turned back. Iwaizumi moved to the front of the bus and sat beside Ryan who turned in his seat and rested his bad leg on his lap.

“Need to keep it elevated,” Ryan tapped his head.

“Good,” Iwaizumi smiled at him.

He wasn’t sure if he’d actually gotten used to Ryan or if the setter had just gotten less annoying since he befriended Oikawa. Their personalities were like a math equation, two negatives cancelled out to make a positive.

He discussed the upcoming match with Ryan and was blown away by his unwavering faith in his team. He wouldn’t so much as consider a loss. At first, Iwaizumi thought he was being blindly optimistic but then he realized Ryan genuinely believed there was no plausible way for them to lose.

“The only reason we can lose is if they don’t try,” Ryan said as he closed his eyes. “And if they don’t try… Then, well, they deserve it.”

Iwaizumi blinked at him, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Usually am, Iwadaddy.”

“You _need_ to stop calling me that.”

“You like it,” Ryan looked at him and cackled.

“I do not.”

“Do so.”

“Do not.”

“Do so.”

“Do—“

_“Do so!”_

Iwaizumi glared into his goofy grin then looked away and rolled his eyes. Only, he wasn’t actually annoyed. He supposed you didn’t know what you had until it was gone. He wondered how many times he’d have to learn that lesson first hand. So far it was three and counting.

They got to the gym and the team was absolutely silent the entire time they changed and got out to the court for warm up. Hinata and Cole took a moment to attempt a proper quick attack, but couldn’t quite get it down. When they returned to the bench for their pregame huddle, the atmosphere was heavy. There was a gaping hole in their offense and defense and they could feel it. Hinata glanced at Japan as they warmed up and caught Kageyama’s eye. He knew it, too.

“Go and do this thing, boys. Don’t forget who you are. Land of the free and home of the brave. Go show them what you’re made of.”

“Sir!”

_“Now commencing the gold medal game. The United States of America versus Japan.”_

They turned towards Cole, expecting some kind of motivation from him in Ryan’s stead. He looked startled but then leaned in, putting his hand in the middle. They all put their hands on top of his.

“We’ve been working for this for a long time. Okay? Don’t doubt yourself now. Even if you mess up, your team is behind you. Elijah is here, too, and he’s going to keep the ball in. Don’t give up on a ball, ever.”

“Right.”

They counted down and broke off on three.

_“Now introducing the starting lineup for the United States of America. Number two, Jackson Wright. Number four, Robert Anderson. Number five, Toby Garcia. Number eight, Noah Clark. Number nine, Shōyō Hinata. Number seven, Cole Horowitz. Number eleven, Elijah Jacobs.”_

Hinata stood in his place and stretched his arms out as he watched Japan at the sidelines. They watched back, namely at Cole with intense and analytical eyes. His heart started pounding harder as he looked at some of the strongest players he’s ever faced in his lifetime. He wasn’t sure if he could pull it off again. He genuinely didn’t know. He felt like he was suffocating. He tried his best to get air into his lungs as he looked away from them. He needed to get a grip.

_“Now introducing the starting lineup for Japan. Number two, Rintarō Suna. Number four, Wakatoshi Ushijima. Number six, Soru Sato. Number eight, libero, Morisuke Yaku. Number ten, Osamu Miya. Number eleven, Taketora Yamamoto. Number thirteen, Kageyama Tobio.”_

They all eyed each other up. Hinata heard Yaku lean in to Ushijima and mutter, «They’re pretty big, huh?»

Then Ushijima responded with a simple, «No.»

Kageyama eyed up Cole and Cole did the same right back. Hinata knew— he just _knew—_ that Kageyama was searching him for weaknesses. He was looking for any indication of his imperfections right off the bat. Japan had an advantage. They saw Cole in the last set of their game against Brazil. Cole had to switch it up and perform _better._ Better than himself, better than Kageyama and maybe not better than Ryan, but nearly as well.

_“All rise for the team’s national anthems.”_

They all stood with their hands on their hearts as the orchestra serenaded Hinata with the songs of both of his countries. He wasn’t sure how he felt. He was anxious, scared even, but the determination of all the many, many years he spent building up to that exact moment weighed heavily on him and provided a sense of stability and calmness. He needed to deliver and he planned on it.

They called the captains over, and Cole looked hesitantly around the team before jogging over and shaking hands with Ushijima. There was so much tension between them _before_ you even put them on the same court that Hinata had to look away. He shook out the front of his jersey in an attempt to cool his skin.

_“First serve goes to Wakatoshi Ushijima for Japan.”_

They all moved further back on the court as Cole rejoined them. His nerves frayed as he constantly reminded himself not to dig up his serve if he wanted to set the ball. Cole shook his head and a chill tore through Hinata’s body as he watched Japan all stand at attention. The intensity rising off their team was unparalleled by any other they’d played thus far. Hinata wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He really wanted to play. But goddamn, he wanted to _win._

The room was silent as they waited for the whistle. The time seemed to crawl forward without legs and like it hadn’t had a drop of water in several weeks. The longer they seemed to stand and wait, the more the United States seemed to crack before the first serve even went up.

_“Hey, idiots!”_

They looked over to where Ryan sat just on the other side of the barricades into the crowd. He glared at them all.

_“Don’t let me down!”_

Hinata’s face broke into an involuntary smile, and he didn’t have to look to know the rest of his team did the same. He lowered back down and stared on. He _wouldn’t_ let him down. Not again. Not _ever again._

The whistle blew and Ushijima delivered the most _intense_ serve Hinata had ever witnessed with his own two, very human eyes. Elijah darted down and tried his best to receive it but it fell off of his arms and onto the floor. They all gaped after it as the flags went down and the whistle went.

_“An immediate ace from Ushijima, granting Japan the first point. Will they keep the momentum?”_

“Sorry!”

“Don’t worry! We’ll get the next one,” Cole said. 

“Right!” They called.

Ushijima remained emotionless in the wake of a beautiful ace. He stared forward, only breaking his glare on Cole to catch a new ball. The whistle blew and Ushijima wound up to serve again. Cole ran in front of Jackson as he went to receive it and the ball hit his platform wrong. They watched as the ball hit the floor yet again.

_“Yet another ace for Ushijima, something we’ve come to expect from the friendly giant. How many will the United States allow?”_

Cole scowled at the PA before settling into his position once again. The whistle blew and Ushijima served again. Jackson seemed just as frustrated as Cole and jumped the gun to get behind him just as the whistle blew, anticipating the serve too early.

_“Overlap by the United States. Point to Japan. It’s now three to zilch. The USA needs to get their heads in the game before the point gap becomes impossible to recover from.”_

Hinata stared through the net at Ushijima before Kageyama caught his eye. He looked up into those familiar, cold eyes and felt a slight shake in his legs. He knew what Kageyama was saying, and he _loathed_ it.

_“I’ll be standing here long after you.”_

Hinata glowered and fell further into his defensive posture before yelling, “Cut it off! Now!”

Cole caught Jackson’s eye and they nodded. They all looked back forward.

“Let’s do it, then!” Cole yelled.

The whistle blew and Ushijima served once again, only that time, Cole moved in the way of it, taking the full force of the serve in with his entire body. He rolled back and watched the ball fly to the centre.

_“Horowitz falls into old habits, but at least the ball is finally in play!”_

“Cover!” Cole screamed.

Toby scrambled to get under it before gasping as Jackson charged forward. He got out of the way and Jackson jumped to set the ball in midair. He sent it over to Hinata who sprinted to jump and slam the ball over with all of his might. He cursed as he saw Suna was already all over him. The middle blocker stopped the ball's momentum and turned it on him seemingly without much effort, bending as he sent it back around Hinata. Just as Hinata wrote the rally off, Cole threw himself onto his back, anticipating nothing but absolute, monster, wild perfection from the middle blocker, so he was prepared. He threw his body up in a situp type of motion and set the ball from the _floor._ Toby jumped to meet it, facing the line, clearly about to go for a line shot, before stretching out his left hand and hitting it towards Japan’s centre.

They were about to celebrate when Kageyama ran and got his fingers under it, sending it back up. Yaku ran and jumped behind the attack line to set the ball to Ushijima, who spiked it through Rob’s hand and back into their court.

Hinata dived to dig it up, but he wasn’t fast enough. His fingers fell just short of the ball as it crashed loudly next to him.

The United States watched the ball roll away with slack jaws as they breathed heavily. They looked back to Japan who hadn’t even broken a sweat. Hinata’s heart sank as the realization set into him— there was no way they could beat Japan. Not without Ryan.

_“Despite the USA’s absolute best efforts, it just wasn’t enough! Japan came out with a surprising season, winning all their games in a shockingly lopsided fashion and it seems today will be no different!”_

The crowd cheered and screamed and applauded and bangs drums and shook noise makers.

_‘Japan! Japan! Japan! Japan!’_

Hinata remained on his hands and elbows, hand still outstretched as he watched where the ball rolled off to, before slowly looking back towards the other team. His eyes raked up Kageyama’s body until he soaked in his evil stare. If he thought he loathed what his eyes said before, there were no words for how he hated what they said then.

_“You were nothing without me and now you’re nothing without him.”_

Was it true? Would Hinata only ever be as good as the setter that happened to adopt him that year? No matter how hard he worked, or how much he improved it was never… _enough._

He looked to the scoreboard: 4-0 for Japan. He sighed heavily and lowered back into his position as the whistle blew and Ushijima served again. Cole took the brunt of it again, sending it up. Rob got under it and passed it to Jackson as they all flooded the front end of the court, but not Hinata. Hinata stayed back, unmoving. Jackson hit it over, and Suna stopped it once again in its tracks. Hinata watched the ball closely, taking a small step to the right. Then another. He lowered down then took a small step back and the ball seemed to fall directly into his arms. He pushed his platform out as he rolled over himself, but the ball was up. He _did_ that _._ He stood and ran as he watched Cole sprint after the ball to set it. Hinata was jumping before he even knew what he was doing.

_“Bring it here!”_

Coles eyes widened at Hinata’s command but he knew far better than to ignore it. He passed by Toby, who was unmarked and sent the ball to Hinata. Hinata threw his entire body into his spike and gasped as he was unmarked as well.

_‘Oh, no.’_

He expected Suna to show up. He was banking on it. But the middle blocker made no such effort. Hinata couldn’t retract or cease his momentum and his stomach lurched as his hand hit the ball very, _very_ hard. He watched the ball go as he landed. And go it did— all the way into the crowd on the far end of Japan’s court. Every person on the court watched it fly and fly and _fly._

The flags went up and the whistle blew. 5-0. 

Hinata closed his eyes, feeling heavy on the cold floor. He couldn’t look at them— his team or theirs. He just couldn’t. 

_“Time out by the USA.”_

Hinata forced himself up, spirits entirely shattered far too early on into the game. He felt like he couldn’t go on. He felt like he _shouldn’t_ go on. A player unable to carry himself on the court didn’t belong on it at all. Iwaizumi eyed his fiance wearily, unsure of what he was seeing behind his eyes. He wanted to say it was surrender, but he was convinced Hinata didn’t know what that felt like. Hell, he was sure Hinata didn’t even know what the word meant.

“Alright, boys,” the coach sighed with crossed arms. “I won’t sugar coat it: this isn’t looking great. You walked out there feeling defeated and it shows. You need to get back in it. This is everything you all worked so hard for.”

“Yeah, well, not _all_ of us,” Cole crossed his arms. “Ryan worked for this, too.”

“You can’t be living in the past right now!” The coach snapped. “Focus on the present, find their weaknesses and _conquer!_ We just need _one point!_ Get their lineup to rotate and the other serves won’t be so hard to control!”

Hinata sighed heavily but looked up and met Cole’s eye when he felt his hand on his shoulder.

“I stayed up last night and watched any old Karasuno game I could get my hands on. I studied your quick with Kageyama. I think I can replicate it but it’ll take a couple tries. Just don’t give up on me out there, okay?”

Hinata’s eyes widened at the words. He really thought he could replicate their quick _in a game?_ It took him and Kageyama _months_ to figure that move out.

“Setting is in my blood,” Cole smiled at him before looking out to the court. “Just pretend I’m Kageyama. Do what you used to do, and we’ll get them back.”

«Right,» Hinata breathed as he nodded. “We can do this.”

He met Cole’s eye and shared a severe look. They shook hands and Cole slapped the rest of them on the back.

“We’ve practiced receiving left hand attacks and serves! We _know_ how to do this, guys! We can and we _will_ beat Japan today. Don’t quit!”

The coach beamed at Cole and slapped him on the shoulder, “Go get them, leader!”

The buzzer called them back to the court and they all settled back into their positions. Ushijima held the ball as they waited for the whistle. Iwaizumi watched Hinata closely, and saw only a small flame behind his eyes. If he’d already given up, there was still the flame of competition and belief that never entirely went out.

The whistle blew and Ushijima served. Jackson ducked behind Cole and got it up. He screamed his delight as Cole ran to the net and shouted.

“Hinata!”

Hinata watched them, feeling the ghost of high school over his body as he allowed muscle memory to take over. He charged the net in a familiar fashion, one long behind him, but ever present beneath the surface of the years separating him from his time with Kageyama as his setter. His eyes fell shut as he jumped and swung and the air left his lungs as his hand made contact with nothing. He opened his eyes and gasped as the ball passed him by. Suna was in front of him, just starting to jump to block. His new experiences took him over as he heard Ryan in his head.

_“It’s a game of deception, baby. All of it, volleyball, love, life, all of it.”_

He swung his left arm out and caught the ball in his left hand as he made eye contact with Suna. Hinata’s chest faced the centre, but his hand pushed the ball towards the line. Suna’s eyes widened as he reached out to stop the spike in its tracks, but only managed to graze it with his fingers and send its track off course.

Hinata landed, breathing heavily as the flags flew down and the whistle blew. Both teams watched the ball roll into the barricades, before looking back to Hinata.

_“The United States is officially on the board! Shōyō Hinata fooling Rintarō Suna, a sight very rarely seen! That one point could change the entire flow of the game!”_

_“Hinata!!”_

His team stormed him, catching him in a tight embrace. Pride swelled in his little chest as his teammates screamed their praise into his ears. His hands trembled. Somehow, the way he earned that point was much more satisfying than if he got a clean line shot. He made eye contact with Iwaizumi who blew him a kiss. Hinata closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling of a purposeful, beautiful spike.

By the time Japan had set point, the United States only had fourteen points. Some of them were from mistakes Japan made, which seemed implausible because they were the most complete, well oiled team Iwaizumi had ever laid eyes on. Others were honest to god points their team actually earned. Somewhere along the line, the USA got into the groove of receiving and did all they could to just keep the ball in the air, and he could taste the exhaustion and defeat rolling off their backs, the only saving grace being the aftertaste of determination to win.

Kageyama bounced the ball, waiting for his opportunity to get his second ace in a row off of the United States. Cole looked around at his teammates who hadn’t said much other than simple communications since the middle of the set. He took his shirt and wiped the sweat from his face before lowering down and putting his hands on his knees. He hadn’t been able to fully sync up with Hinata yet. He hadn’t been able to replicate Kageyama’s quick attack as easily as he thought. Apparently there was just more to it than previously believed.

“Hinata!”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll get it this time.”

“Sure.”

Kageyama’s serve only got better since the last time Hinata played with him. It was something otherworldly. It far surpassed Oikawa, but wasn’t quite as powerful as Ushijima’s. That thought was comforting, because he _knew_ they could get Ushijima’s serves up. He _knew_ they could score off of them.

The whistle blew and Kageyama served. Elijah stepped into it and got it up. Cole caught Hinata’s eye as they ran to the net, and recoiled a tad at the fire in them. He knew the outside hitter wasn’t going to let them get the point. Hinata broke away from the rest of the team, and jumped. He closed his eyes and willed the ball to come to him. He fell entirely into the belief that he was there, about to spike Kageyama’s set. Kageyama _always_ got the ball to him. It would show up.

He wound up his arm and swung and nearly exploded when his hand twacked against the ball. He opened his eyes and his heart faltered as he saw his palm slam against the yellow and blue leather. Then he watched it plummet into the floor between Yaku and Suna as they scrambled to get it up, but they didn’t have the time.

Hinata landed and looked down at his hand, a familiar feeling flooding his small body. He slowly looked up at Cole, who was staring at his own hands. Hinata knew it sounded crazy, but in his mind, the over five foot six man’s image merged with that of Kageyama. He looked back as the flags went down and the whistle blew.

He wanted to celebrate getting the quick. He wanted to celebrate getting the point. He wanted to celebrate. But, it didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel _right._ He was _sick and goddamn tired_ of only riding Kageyama’s success. So, when his team flooded him, pushing and shoving and hugging, yelling about how amazing the play was, he stayed rooted to his spot.

_“Horowitz stealing Kageyama’s quick attack right in front of him! The nerve! The United States is still in this, but can they pull ahead while nine points behind?”_

Rob served the ball, and Yaku got it up with ease. Kageyama set the ball, and Ushijima sent it over. Jackson got under it, using his experience with Ryan and Toby to get it back up. It went back up front and Hinata jumped again, prepared to make the spike, but he swung at nothing. He opened his eyes and saw Suna directly in front of him. They both watched the ball as Toby slammed it into their court, unmarked.

They congratulated him before moving back again. Hinata felt Kageyama’s eyes on him. He didn’t want to look at him. He shook his legs out and put his hands behind his head as he waited for the serve.

The whistle blew and Jackson served again. Yamamoto got under it and sent it to Kageyama. Hinata finally found the strength to watch him. There was no one he knew on the court better than he knew Kageyama. Something clicked in his brain as he watched him. All of his movements became open and entirely readable. He _knew_ Kageyama. He knew how to read him. He spent three entire years doing nothing _but_ reading him and getting shouted at when he missed the mark. So, when Kageyama jumped to make the set, Hinata knew what was coming.

He watched his teammates run to block Ushijima, but he knew better. It wasn’t going that way at all.

Kageyama smirked to the most minute degree as he shoved the ball over the net, but his eyes widened as the momentum ceased. He looked and saw Hinata’s hand on the ball. He shoved against his old teammate, needing to get the ball back over. Hinata cursed his shortness as he couldn’t stay in the air long enough. His fingers slipped and the ball fell down the front of his body before hitting the floor. Hinata fell along with the ball and watched it hit his foot. 

He _read_ Kageyama. He _knew_ what he was going to do. He was _right_ and he got there in time. But it wasn’t enough. He still fell short. He saw Kageyama’s feet on the other side of the net and then glared angrily into his smug smirk.

_“The first set goes to Japan at a whopping 25-15. The teams will now switch sides.”_

Kageyama stared down at him before saying, «Looks like I really have moved along without you. You’re not invincible anymore.»

Hinata continued glaring at him, but he didn’t say anything back. What could he say? It was true. The evidence was right before him. He scoffed and pushed himself up to go to the other side of the court. He rubbed his eyes as he walked, feeling lead slowly replace his body’s volume of blood. There was no point.

He exhaled sharply as he settled into his new position and waited for Ushijima to hand them their asses. Which he did. He got seven points on them, breaking down both Jackson and Elijah point by point as he went.

_“Wakatoshi Ushijima breaking the spirits of the USA as he racks up a large point gap right off the bat. Absolutely a one man team at the moment. It seems as though the United States has entirely resigned. Where are you today, boys?”_

Hinata sighed again as the whistle blew and Ushijima served. By some miracle, Jackson actually managed to dig it up. None of them were expecting it and were slow to get moving. Cole set to Hinata, but it was low. Hinata panicked and swung, hitting it right into the net and back down onto their own court.

_“Fuck!”_

His teammates took a small step back, unable to process the idea of Hinata _not_ having some sort of positive thing to say. Hinata turned his back on the net and ran his hands through his hair, unable to process his emotions. He felt so, so, so useless.

_“Timeout by the USA.”_

They moved to the bench and Hinata was confronted by Leilani and Iwaizumi who stood with stoic expressions and crossed arms. Hinata looked them up and down.

“What?”

“We were asked to give you a very direct message from Ryan,” Iwaizumi heaved.

“Okay, wha—“

Hinata was cut off by Leilani slapping him right across the face. His hand covered his then stinging cheek as he glared back at her.

“What the _hell?”_

“For the record, I wasn’t on board with the slap,” Iwaizumi said.

“Fine,” Hinata spat. “What does he want to say? Or was that it?”

“He said, _‘bluff like your life depends on it’.”_ Leilani said. “Whatever that means.”

“It means that the defeat and pressure you’re feeling is entirely visible on your face and in your deposition,” the coach butted in. “Japan is a bunch of sharks circling the water. They’re making us bleed and it’s making them hungrier. If we lose this set we may not recover.”

“He also said that if you give up then you better plan on dying out there or you’ll have him to answer to,” Iwaizumi said.

“You’re forgetting the part where he said if you lose he’ll show up to every major event you ever have in your life and one up you. He’ll get engaged at your wedding and announce he’s pregnant at your baby shower,” Leilani frowned strangely.

“Yes. And that was it. Nothing else,” Iwaizumi rushed.

“No,” Leilani cackled. “He also said he’ll tear your ass apart and put you in so much pain that you’ll _wish_ it was Iwaizumi that one time you were both really loud and we all heard you.”

Hinata’s eyes widened and his face flushed a deep red, right along with Iwaizumi.

“But,” Iwaizumi regained some composure. “You’re giving Kageyama what he wants. You’re _better_ than this. I’ve been right there beside you watching you grow. Remember when we played together in university?”

“Yeah?”

“I never got to hit the ball because you were the ace, Hinata. You are the ace still, here, right now. Do I need to remind you of how _you_ ended my high school career? You can do this. We all trust you and need you to trust yourself.”

“I’m just sick of only being as good as my setter. I’m sick of living in Kageyama’s shadow,” Hinata’s shoulders slumped.

“Leilani?” Iwaizumi turned to her.

She nodded and slapped Hinata again. Right when he was about to protest the act, Cole spun him around and shook him lightly by the shoulders.

“We don’t have much time. I said I watched _Karasuno’s_ old footage, Hinata! That’s because _he,”_ Cole pointed at Kageyama who watched them intently, “Has _never_ done a quick like that since you two parted ways. You were just as equal a part of that quick attack. No other hitter can get his sets the way you do! Realize that! You dumb, _dumb, motherfucker.”_

Hinata’s eyes widened at the then setter and Iwaizumi’s soul warmed as the fire grew behind Hinata’s eyes.

“Kageyama won’t devote himself entirely to Ushijima. Their quicks are slow as far as they’re both concerned as players. We can do this. We just need to _believe_ we can do this. Do you believe we can do this?”

Hinata nodded slowly, “Yes. I believe we can do this.”

The buzzer called them back and Cole stared deeply into Hinata’s eyes, coming across as entirely restless. He nodded and patted him on the cheek before they all ran back to the court. They settled into their positions and Hinata’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest as Ushijima ran through his pre-serve ritual.

The whistle blew and he served. Hinata watched it closely and Jackson got it up, rolling back from the force. He wasted no time. He didn’t wait to blend into the pack. He charged up front, showing Japan he was _there_ and he was the ace. The point was his.

He allowed his eyes to slide shut and swung, feeling a familiar sense of elation and pride as the ball slammed into his hand. He snapped his eyes open and saw Suna and Osamu charging for him. He wasted no time in sending the ball down clearly right before their faces as they fell over each other to save the point. His feet touched the ground as the point was called.

_“A new heat from Shōyō Hinata! The United States finally decided to play! Welcome back, boys.”_

He clenched his fist in front of his face then pointed at Kageyama. He didn’t say anything, but the heat in his eyes was a language all of its own.

Cole stepped back with a smile as he caught the ball and bounced it a couple of times, “Okay, boys! Let’s do this. Show ‘em why we're standing across from them!”

“Yeah!”

The whistle blew and Cole threw the ball up. He took two large steps forward before jumping to meet it. He threw his whole body into the force of it and thrusted it over the net.

«Out!»

Japan moved to the side but the serve fell right on the line. It was clearly in.

_“Horowitz announcing that Japan isn’t the only team capable of aces! Beautiful precision!”_

“Nice serve!”

Cole moved back and stared at Japan as he caught the ball. They seemed angry, and that brought him great, _great_ joy. He bounced the ball a couple of times before addressing his team.

“We’re catching up now. Are you ready?”

“Yeah!”

He smirked as he made eye contact with Ushijima. Japan’s defenses shifted more to the back right, anticipating his serve. Cole bit his lip in an effort not to laugh.

The whistle blew and he threw the ball up. He stepped off his opposite leg, a movement that seemed to go unnoticed by Japan. He jumped and slammed the ball forward instead with his _left_ hand, sending it to the opposite side of their defenses than they anticipated. The ball landed on the line before Japan had a real chance to process it.

_“We knew nothing of Horowitz’s offense before yesterday and he’s making everyone readily aware that he has many tricks up his sleeve! He sacrificed neither power or accuracy as he switched serving hands! The United States is now only six behind Japan!”_

Hinata stared at Cole in shock before his face split into an enormous smile. The setter clapped loudly before gesturing to them.

“Oh, yeah, guys. This is happening. Prepare for the gold. It’ll change us.”

Iwaizumi looked him up and down, considering how his attitude changed so much since yesterday. Maybe all it took was for his team to crumble in on itself to make him switch things up. He could sense he was trying to embody Ryan as much as humanly possible and the thought made him laugh.

Hinata watched Cole as well and had a flashback to high school when he tried telling Kageyama that things wouldn’t be so bad if he had to play a different position only to be screamed at.

_“There is no spike without the set!”_

No, there wasn’t. He looked at Cole for a long moment before looking back ahead. His job wasn’t possible without a setter, but that didn’t mean he could only be as good as the toss. 

He heard Ryan in his head again, _“Sometimes you need to use that little brain of yours instead of relying entirely on speed.”_

He could be more than the set. He _would_ be more than the set.

Cole caught the ball yet again and bounced it in front of him before catching Hinata’s eye.

“I believe in you. Do you believe in me?”

Hinata smiled wickedly at him, “One hundred percent.”

Cole nodded with a smile of his own, “Good.”

The whistle blew and Cole served again, Japan waiting eagerly to see which hand he’d serve with. Their defenses fanned out along the back of the court, guarding the line.

Cole stepped forward and jumped, sending the ball soft and low. It kissed the top of the net before slyly falling over to the _very_ front of their court. Yamamoto rushed forward before diving, just missing it. He glared up at Cole from the ground, but Cole wasn’t looking back. He was staring right into Ushijima’s eye as he yelled.

“Let’s get another!”

“Right!”

_“Absolutely astounding. Three different serves resulting in three aces in a row on Untouchable Japan. All from a player that has never played offensively in his professional career. Truly a testament to Horowitz’s talent.”_

Cole served again and Yaku actually managed to get it in play. Hinata charged the net, not allowing the thought of them getting the point to even enter his mind. He wasn’t letting them take the flow back. He watched Kageyama closely and saw he was really about to go for another setter dump.

 _“What a stupid decision,”_ Hinata thought.

He didn’t jump to joust him, though. He knew better than to try that again. He blended in and waited for Kageyama to get comfortable with his decision. He watched closely and jumped right as the ball touched his fingers.

Kageyama pushed the ball over the net and the second it crossed, Hinata had his hand on the leather, slamming it back into Kageyama’s hand and down into their court. Kageyama fell back from the force of the spike and stared at Hinata from the floor with wide eyes, unable to grasp that his rival actually _read_ him.

 _“Shōyō Hinata is_ in _it folks! More of a spike than a block, skipping the pass_ and _the toss! I’m not sure about anyone else, but to me it looked as though these two rivals were reliving their high school careers with Tobio Kageyama setting for Shōyō Hinata to surely secure the point!”_

Hinata continued staring down at Kageyama. His old friend glared at him, unsure as to what really just happened there.

«You were too busy watching yourself to realize I surpassed you a long time ago.»

Kageyama’s glare fell as his eyes widened while he watched Hinata walk away.

«I’m invincible with or without you, Kageyama.»

Iwaizumi’s heart ate itself. He was so, so, so proud of his _amazing_ fiance. Kageyama stared at Hinata before smiling wryly and standing again. He shook out his uniform before they all moved back to start the next rally.

“Serve it up, Hinata!”

Hinata spun the ball in his hands. Serving was never particularly a specialty for him, but he often neglected getting home on time in favor of training with Ryan. He didn’t want to leave the Olympics without getting an ace. Consider it a personal goal. He hadn’t tried it in a game yet. His coach always told him to play it safe and just send jump serves, then get it back over the net when the other team received it. But the coach didn’t know the extent of work he and Ryan put into his serve. His efforts actually dated back to high school when he _begged_ Yamaguchi to teach him the ways of the jump float.

He admittedly wasn’t great at it still. He looked to the score. They had set point in the fifth. They made it so far, was it worth the risk? His entire team worked so hard to stay in it, not just that game but _all_ of them. The very _idea_ that they had set point over Japan in the tie breaking round was nothing less than a miracle. The gold was so close he could practically feel it on his chest. More than that, the slew of offensive and rude things he was going to scream at Kageyama sat on his tongue. What if he messed it up and cost them the entire competition? But what if it worked and they won?

The whistle blew and his time for thinking was up. He ran forward and kept his palm perfectly straight as he hit it up.

«A _jump float?»_

He landed and watched the ball with wide eyes. He held his breath as Yaku took a small step to his right, then another, then a small one forward. The breath stung his lungs as Yaku lowered and watched the ball intently. He thought he’d never breathe again when Yaku raised his platform and set the ball perfectly centre. He always was talented.

Hinata ran forward as Kageyama set the ball. The ball was out of his hands as Hinata got to the net and already down in their court before he could blink. So, he _was_ capable of a decent quick attack with Ushijima. It seemed to be the first time during that game that they were truly in sync. Which meant trouble.

_“Japan is now tied with the United States of America. It could really go either way now.”_

“Sorry!” Hinata called back.

 _“Shōyō!_ I had _no idea_ you could do a jump float!” Jackson beamed at him. “That was incredible!”

Hinata looked taken aback as the rest of his teammates smiled at him and celebrated his serve, even if it resulted in them losing the point. He beamed right back.

“I owe it all to Ryan and my old captain!”

“Amazing!” Cole praised, slapping him on the back. “Now let’s get two!”

“Yeah!”

Kageyama was up to serve, because of course he was. It was better than Ushijima, though. Hinata looked beside him and saw Elijah had materialized, so Rob ran back off the court. They all lowered down as Kageyama bounced the ball.

 _“Bring it!”_ Hinata shouted with a large grin.

Kageyama smirked as the whistle blew then delivered a devastating serve. Jackson fell back as he got it back up.

“Sorry! It’s long! Cover, Horowitz!”

Cole didn’t need to be told twice. He sprinted off the ball as it flew past, but not over, the net, out of bounds, and back towards Japan’s court.

_“Horowitz never quits on a ball! It’ll be all they can do to keep this one in play!”_

Hinata watched him run down the court as Japan watched closely before he slammed the ball back up to their side of the court with both fists. He watched over his shoulder as Jackson got the ball from the back of their court and over the net.

_“Simply incredible! Horowitz is an invaluable part of the USA’s team!”_

«Chance ball!»

Hinata watched closely as Osamu got the ball back up. Hinata ran left as Kageyama got it and tossed over to Ushijima, but— no. Not to Ushijima. _Over_ Ushijima. His eyes widened as he watched Osamu run from the back of the court and jump to spike.

_‘I can’t let it end this way. I can’t let him get it over.’_

_“Back!”_

Toby was just about to jump when he heard the call. It was too late to stop his momentum, so he pushed himself off his right foot and slid sideways with his hand outstretched as far as possible. His hand was at an awkward angle as the ball hit his hand and shoved him back.

“One touch!”

Cole got behind it and shouted, “Hinata!”

Hinata ran to the net, and watched Suna and Yamamoto follow him closely. He got to the right side of the court and stopped his momentum suddenly before turning back and running the opposite way. Cole gasped as he watched him and readjusted his set at the very last moment, causing it to be off.

Hinata jumped to the side, much like Toby had, and once again reached out with his left hand to get the ball before it was too late. He slammed it forth with everything he had and the ball kissed the line.

_“Set point once again for the United States.”_

Cole scooped Hinata up and spun him around, “You’re amazing!”

“Oh, god!” Toby shouted and shook his hand out before yelling again. _“That_ was stupid.”

“You good?” Cole called.

“I think it’s broken, but I’m not quitting yet!”

Hinata pushed on Cole’s chest before being placed back down. He took Toby’s hand and looked at his misshapen finger.

“You _broke_ it.”

“No, _he_ broke it,” Toby strained.

Cole turned to their coach and signaled for a timeout.

_“Timeout by the USA.”_

They led Toby back to the bench where the coach examined his hand and tsked, “You can’t play.”

Toby retracted his hand, looking offended, “I’m _playing.”_

“No, you’re not!” The coach yelled. “Hansen, you’re in! Toby, you’re going to the medic station. Iwaizumi, figure it out.”

Toby looked angrily down to his hand before glaring at Osamu who drank from his water bottle. Iwaizumi instructed Leilani to bring him to the doctor, and she led him away by his good hand. Curtis stepped forward, amped to go.

“I’m not saying I’m _happy_ that Toby’s injured, but I’m psyched to play!”

Cole slapped him on the back, “Good. Keep your eyes open out there, okay?”

“Yes, sir!”

They all took a drink before the buzzer called them back. Their coach looked at them.

“One point, boys! You can do this! And for god’s sake, _don’t_ get injured!”

“Sir!”

_“The United States is substituting number five, Toby Garcia for number ten, Curtis Hansen. Another injury for the USA. It’s been a rough couple of days for their team, but they’re showing no sign of slowing down.”_

They got back out and it was Curtis’ serve. It might sound bad, but Hinata never paid much attention to him before. He had absolutely no idea what to expect from him. He squatted down to stretch out his sore legs as he waited for the whistle.

_‘Don’t let us down, Curtis.’_

“You’ve got this, Hansen!” Cole shouted.

The whistle blew and Curtis threw the ball up. He ran after it and bent his entire body back before seemingly snapping right in half with the force of his serve. His hand wrapped _perfectly_ around the curve of the ball. Hinata watched him closely and it seemed almost as though time froze for an instant as his teammate was in the air. He gasped at his perfect form. They all held their breaths as the ball passed over the net.

«Out!»

And out it was. Significantly. Curtis slapped his own cheeks as Japan laughed about the overly enthusiastic force of the serve.

“I’m sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Cole smiled at him. “It isn’t over yet.”

The score was 52-51 for the USA. Hinata was ready to collapse. They couldn’t ever break past set point, but managed to keep it tied or stay ahead by one, which was something. Ushijima and Kageyama hit their groove earlier into the set, making it much harder to get a leg up on them. Hinata was back up to serve, which sucked, because his vision was almost hazy at that point. He closed his eyes and felt the strain in his muscles as he stood there. He wanted it to end. He wanted to score an ace. He wanted to beat Kageyama. He wanted to win.

He breathed heavily as he slid his eyes shut and held the ball an inch away from his face. Normally, he’d press it right to his forehead, but he didn’t want to risk his sweat ruining his chances at a good serve. How badass would it be if he could win the gold single handedly off a serve? He visualized it. He wanted to be like Oikawa, Ryan, Cole, Kageyama and Ushijima. He wanted to feel the thrill of a service ace. He continued breathing deeply as the noise faded away around him. He shut it all out. It was just him. Him and the ball. It fit so well in his hands. That’s where the ball belonged until he had to set it free and wreak havoc on the other team. The ball loved him, it wanted to listen to him.

_‘Luck favors the prepared.’_

Was he prepared? His mind reeled over several long nights and tears shared between Yamaguchi and Ryan. He saw all the misses and all the successes. He saw it all. He saw everything from his first time seeing the Little Giant on television, fighting with Kageyama, losing to Seijoh, to winning Nationals for the first time, right up until he stood there. On the Olympic stage. Across from Kageyama. Everything he worked for over the years _._ Every person who ever doubted or underestimated him. Everything he dedicated his entire youth to. Everything he neglected in pursuit of his dreams of being _exactly where he was._ He exhaled slowly, hearing only his own pulse and lungs.

_‘I am prepared.’_

The whistle blew and he opened his eyes. He threw the ball up, seeing only himself in an empty gymnasium with one goal in mind— get the ball over the net and make it kiss the floor.

He watched the ball rotate in slow motion as it flew into the air. He took a step forward, then another, then two more. He jumped, feeling the strain from his toes to his scalp, but it didn’t matter. It was almost over. His eyes never moved off the blue and yellow sphere, the symbol of his adolescence and young adulthood. He extended his arm forward, keeping his palm rigid. Time sped up and moved at a normal pace again as his hand slapped the leather ball. He watched the shaky trajectory of the ball from a kneeling position, his hand still outstretched. He watched Japan’s defenses all dive for it, each not accurately predicting the path of it. He watched the panic in Kageyama’s eyes as his teammates each failed him and saw the exact moment he decided he’d have to do it himself. Kageyama dove, getting in Yaku’s way. They might’ve had a chance if he allowed the master defenseman the time and space to receive the ball, but… He didn’t. Kageyama ran into Yaku and the ball fell and hit him in the shoulder. Hinata’s breath caught as Yaku reached out and just barely got his fingers under the ball fractions of a second before it hit the floor. The ball went up about a foot off the floor before falling weakly back down. Everyone in the room stared on as the ball rolled innocently into the barricades.

The whistle blew three times before the PA sounded.

_“The United States of America steals the gold away from Japan after the longest set in the history of the sport in the Olympic games at 53-51 in the fifth set! Unbelievable! I am blown away! Shōyō Hinata gets his first ace in his professional career and is rewarded promptly with a gold metal! How suiting!”_

Hinata’s entire body trembled as he stared on at Japan, shocked that it worked. He didn’t believe his senses. He still didn’t believe it when he was harshly hoisted up by Cole and spun around.

_“Holy shit! Where’ve you been hiding that serve! You’re so incredible I could fucking kiss you!”_

Cole squeezed him tightly as he threw Hinata around, who held on for dear life. Being nearly seven feet off the ground and out of control was not a pleasant experience for him, but he laughed unwillingly.

_“Fuck it!”_

Cole put him harshly down and grabbed his face, pressing an elated kiss to his mouth before shaking him by the shoulders as he yelled. The rest of his team was on him before he could react. They all laughed and screamed as they cried and held each other. They’d really done it. His small body couldn’t contain his emotions as they started making themselves known. He waited for that moment for twelve restless years. He worked every _single_ day for _twelve years_ to get to where he was. He pushed himself past his limit, he broke, he rebuilt, he rebranded, he sacrificed, he yearned. He did _everything_ to get there. He earned that. He beat _Kageyama._ His rival since middle school, back when he didn’t even have a proper team. His most formidable ally when they were forced to make nice in high school. He closest friend for three short years in his youth. He did it. He promised he would, and he did.

He gripped onto his teammates as they shoved at him and screamed through his elated tears, _“Fuck yes!”_

Sobs wracked his body as he screamed along with his team. He hugged Jackson tightly as the man praised him. They were in chaos and had to be pushed back in to do their hand shakes.

They stood at the net and moved down the line, shaking hands with the other team. When Hinata got to Kageyama, his old friend didn’t extend his hand. Hinata’s heart skipped a beat as he looked into his cold eyes. His emotion was unreadable. He let his hand fall to his side. Was he really going to be a bad sport about it?

Kageyama shook his head and ducked under the net. Hinata took a small step back as Kageyama charged forward. To his absolute shock, the setter engulfed him in a tight hug. Hinata smiled and hugged him back, pressing his face into his chest. He smelled so familiar.

«I’m very proud of you.»

Kageyama hugged him tighter as Hinata began to cry again.

«You’ve grown so much.»

Hinata gripped the back of his shirt as he sobbed into his chest. Kageyama pressed his face into his hair and Hinata’s soul rolled over in his body as he felt his tears fall onto his skin.

«You don’t need anyone to be invincible now.»

«I love you, Kageyama.»

«I love you, too.»

They pulled away and didn’t look at each other as they calmed down and scrubbed at their faces. Kageyama looked back at him as they pretended the exchange never happened.

«I’m going to beat you next time.»

«I encourage you to try,» Hinata laughed as he shook his hand.

Kageyama walked away and Hinata watched his back as he went, feeling like a very significant part of his life was over. The number thirteen on his jersey morphed into a nine as his uniform faded to black and orange. He wiped at his eyes again as his cheeks became damp all over again. He looked up at Cole when he felt his hand on his back.

“Why do you look so sad?”

“What do you do when you accomplish the thing you spent over a decade working for?”

Cole looked down at him, before watching where Hinata stared after Kageyama. 

“You move forward and do it again. Bigger and better.”

Hinata snorted and sniffed as he wiped his cheeks dry with a smile, “Right.”

“Let’s go, people are waiting for us.”

“Okay.”

Cole led Hinata back to the bench with a hand on his back. Iwaizumi readily lifted Hinata and spun him around before kissing him lovingly.

“I couldn’t imagine feeling prouder,” he breathed against his mouth.

“I love you.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

Iwaizumi put him down and lifted his hand in the air, “I’m marrying an Olympic gold medalist!”

Hinata fell into his chest, finally feeling the effects of a five set game, one of which went into the mid _fifties._ Iwaizumi caught him and lifted him bridal style as they made their way to the change room. It took the men a _long_ time to change as they were still riding the high of their win. Iwaizumi soaked in their happy energy, thinking of the stark contrast from their moods at the beginning of the game.

Iwaizumi lifted Hinata again when they were ready to go and leaned down to kiss his face as he nuzzled into his chest. He looked absolutely exhausted. 

They were swarmed immediately by reporters and paparazzi as they left the gymnasium. Iwaizumi put Hinata down and supported him with an arm across his back as he was approached by a reporter.

“Shōyō Hinata! That was an amazing game! What a serve!”

“Thank you.”

“Many people say you only ride the coattails of your setters! How does it feel to finally put that theory to rest?”

Iwaizumi studied his face as he passed through several emotions before landing on pensiveness.

“I’m used to people underestimating me. It doesn’t bother me either way at this point, but it does give me a nice advantage.”

“After seeing your chemistry with Cole Horowitz, do you even want to go back to playing with Ryan Nyholm?”

“You people are so quick to forget god given talent,” Cole butted in. “Nyholm will have his position back the moment he’s recovered and that’s all that needs to be said.”

“Cole Horowitz! Will you continue setting for the team? Will you ever go back to playing libero?”

“Libero is where my heart lies. As for what happens with our team, that’s TBD.”

“Okay, okay!” Tony inserted himself between the reporters and the team, “We’ll be doing interviews later, as scheduled! No more questions!”

Tony and their secondary manager pushed through the people, leading the team out of the arena and Iwaizumi felt like he could finally breathe again once they were outside. Hinata clung tightly to his hand the entire way, not wanting to be left behind.

“Hey, hey, hey! There’s my favorite student!”

They turned and saw Bokuto pulling Akaashi along behind him as they ran out the door.

“Bokuto senpai!”

Hinata let go of Iwaizumi’s hand and held his arms out, seemingly anticipating the way Bokuto scooped him up and spun him around. When the hitter set him down, he ruffled his hair aggressively as he laughed.

“You’ve really come a long way, Chibi-chan. You couldn’t serve your way out of a paper bag before!”

Hinata blushed but his smile never faltered, “Thank you.”

“Listen,” Bokuto slapped Iwaizumi on the arm, and it admittedly hurt, “There’s a party tomorrow at Kuroo’s place after the closing ceremony. We’ll get you the deets! But there’s _also_ a party _tonight_ at the hotel, and we fully expect you all to be there this time!”

“Right!”

“Good,” Bokuto cackled, pulling Iwaizumi into him by his neck before addressing the rest of the team, “I’m glad I didn’t have to play you assholes!”

They laughed as he let Iwaizumi go and reclaimed Akaashi’s hand before turning to walk the other way, _“USA! USA! USA!”_

Hinata laughed as he watched him pump his fist in the air before turning back to Iwaizumi. It never ceased to amaze the trainer how his fiance _never_ failed to take his breath away. He leaned down and kissed Hinata again, unable to stop himself.

Their coach finally caught up to them and nearly tackled Hinata and Cole with the force of his hug.

“I have no words.”

“No words are needed, coach. We know you love us,” Cole dismissed before looking around. “Where’s Ryan?”

As if beckoned, Ryan appeared with Oikawa by his side.

«Good work out there, shortie pie,» Oikawa _smiled_ at Hinata and Iwaizumi’s heart clenched. «You really put them in their place.»

«I know you really just mean Kageyama,» Hinata laughed.

«I do. But the sentiment remains.»

«Thank you,» Hinata’s smile softened.

Ryan discarded his crutches into Oikawa’s hand before enveloping Hinata in a warm hug before kissing him largely on the top of the head.

“You— you! I— It was— _Shōyō!”_

Hinata laughed hard as he hugged Ryan back, supporting his weight, “I know!”

“Did you get my threats?” Ryan asked, laughing hysterically with tears in his eyes. “I couldn’t tell you myself because coach was mad at me for yelling that one time.”

“Yes,” Hinata said. “Thank you.”

“Okay, but did they slap you? That point was very important,” Ryan pushed back and held him by the shoulder so he could stare into his eyes.

“Twice.”

“Good,” Ryan sniffled as he beamed. “I only said once, but two… Two is good.”

“Says you,” Hinata rubbed his cheek with a chuckle.

“Did they tell you how I was going to rip you apart?”

“Yes.”

“What about how I would seduce Iwaizumi to make you feel unparalleled heart break, dooming you to a life of lonely longing as I tagged you in every Instagram post I made of all of our luxurious vacations as two rich, gay men from California?”

“Uh…”

“But I would wait until you two had children, and I would make them call _me_ dad, and show up to every switch off on every other weekend,” Ryan took a shaky breath as the tears fell down his face, “And then they’d start just calling you ‘Shōyō’ but they call _me_ dad, and you’d know you lost everything you’ve ever loved to me because you gave up in one volleyball game in your early twenties. Then you slowly sink into alcoholism, and die sad and alone in the dark and no one discovers your body until at least a week later, because you lost the ability to trust and pushed them all away?”

“I—“ Hinata bit his lip as he looked very concerned between Iwaizumi and Ryan, unable to maintain the very severe eye contact. “No, I—- They didn’t tell me that part.”

«For good reason,» Iwaizumi breathed under his breath.

“Well, that’s what’ll happen if I ever, _ever_ see you give up like that again, okay?” Ryan poked him hard in the chest. “So if you want the life you deserve, don’t be a stupid fucking idiot!”

“Got it,” Hinata laughed.

“Good,” Ryan took his crutches back from Oikawa. “Let’s get outta here! We have a lot to celebrate!”

Hinata laughed and followed him to the bus. Iwaizumi smiled at Oikawa before turning to join them. He didn’t get very far before he was stopped by Oikawa gripping his shirt. He turned back and smiled at him again.

«Iwa-chan,» Oikawa breathed before moving forward and sliding his arms around his neck and pulling him close in a hug. Iwaizumi hugged him back tightly, savoring the familiar scent of coffee and vanilla he’d very much so been missing from his friend. «I’m proud of you, too.»

«Thank you. I think about you all the time. It was so hard when you first left, but I knew you were out there doing what you needed to be doing and it makes me so… _happy.»_

Oikawa gripped him tighter, feeling warm from the smile pressed into his neck, «I love you.»

«I love you, too.»

Iwaizumi pulled away, but kept his grip on his friend’s shirt. Oikawa smiled down at him before ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

«See you tonight?»

«Of course.»

«Good,» Iwaizumi patted his chest before turning away and getting back to the bus.

He felt so full. He felt none of the emptiness he did in California. He had his best friend, his talented, gorgeous, Olympic gold medalist for a fiance, back in his home country, making history with their volleyball team.

When had all his dreams come true?

He was stopped by a woman calling his name, he furrowed his brow and turned to see who it was. His vision was assaulted by bright orange hair and a sunny aura.

How’d he forget about Natsu?

He looked her up and down. He hadn’t seen her in years, and she looked very different. Her hair was entirely straight and ended at the base of her spine. She was very well endowed as far as her body was concerned, which was a relatively new development. A couple things hadn’t changed, though, and that was her short height and overwhelming sense of enthusiasm.

“Hajime!”

He collected her in his arms before spinning her around, «Hey! I’m so sorry!»

«It’s okay,» she beamed as she held onto his forearms. «That was incredible!»

«Right? Your brother is really something else!»

«You’re telling me! I don’t know _anything_ about volleyball, but even I could tell that was a hard game!»

Iwaizumi did a double take at the bus before pointing at it, «Wanna come?»

«Thought you’d never ask!»

He led her up the few stairs to the bus, where the guys all yelled and shouted about the plays that they made shortly before. Hinata was turned in his seat, exclaiming with Jackson on how good _his_ plays were, too. Once they caught wind of Natsu, they all fell silent, because a _girl._

 _“Hinata Shōyō!”_ Natsu called with a surprisingly commanding voice.

Hinata turned with wide eyes and then quickly devolved into a smile before jumping up. Iwaizumi just managed to get out of the way as he pounced and took her into a tight hug.

«You came?»

«Of course I came, you big dummy! You were amazing!»

«We have so much to talk about!»

«We do!» She laughed as she wrinkled her nose and shoved Hinata off of her. «But get off of me! You stink!»

Hinata dragged her back to where he was sitting and they engaged in rapidfire conversation in Japanese. Iwaizumi settled into the seat he moved to in an effort to avoid being clobbered by Hinata in his path to his sister.

“She’s _really_ beautiful,” Cole whispered as he discreetly watched her. “You sure she’s related to Hinata?”

“Firstly, rude. Hinata is every bit as gorgeous. Secondly, creepy. She looks _just_ like a girl Shōyō.”

“I don’t see it,” Cole shrugged.

 _“Speaking of that,”_ Iwaizumi slapped him _hard_ on his chest. “If I ever, ever see you kiss my fiance again—“

“Sorry!” Cole laughed as he cut him off. “It was the heat of the moment!”

Iwaizumi laughed back, “I’ll kill you.”

“It’s okay, he wasn’t particularly good at it anyways.”

“Maybe because he didn’t kiss you back.”

“Fair enough,” Cole pushed him. 

Iwaizumi watched him glance back at Natsu. He wasn’t sure how he felt about _that_ pairing, but he was also sure it didn’t matter. On the one hand, maybe he’d _finally_ let go of Leilani, but on the other, Hinata would never sign off on it. Cole didn’t strike him as someone who would go after a friend’s sibling without asking permission first. He hoped that was the case, because he knew Hinata would catch a charge if it happened. His worries melted away as Leilani and Toby got on the bus.

The middle blocker greeted the team with a scream, and they all quickly fell back into their loud conversations. Leilani sat in front of Iwaizumi, gripping her ginger ale tightly to her chest, and Cole never stopped watching her with saucer eyes.

“You feeling okay?” Cole leaned forward.

She peaked at him, “Yeah, sorry. You were amazing out there!”

“Thank you—“

Iwaizumi tuned their conversation out, needing a bit of silence. A lot was happening. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back as he waited for the bus to start moving. He just basked in the busy, elated energy on the bus, counting his blessings.


	18. Unstoppable Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> went a bit crazy w the art


	19. Tonight Is A Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING:  
> Graphic depictions of violence and neglect of a minor.  
> Graphic depictions of PTSD  
> Very graphic language  
> This chapter could be very triggering, so please, if you’re at risk for that, please skip it and do something soothing for yourself instead❤️

The closing ceremonies were beautiful. There was just something about seeing their team with their hands on their hearts as their National Anthem played. Gold looked  _ so  _ good on Hinata, but that was something Iwaizumi knew since he won Nationals the first time. No, silver or bronze simply didn’t compliment him. Akaashi was right about that, but not for the reason he thought.

They all got on the subway to make their way to Kuroo’s home on the outskirts of the city,  _ finally  _ able to check out of their hotel prison. The locals all gawked at the group of large,  _ large  _ men with the suitcases. Iwaizumi thought it was hilarious and was momentarily thankful for being both only average height and Japanese. A small child looked up at Cole with wide eyes and a slack jaw and showed absolutely no signs of stopping.

Cole kept glancing back at him, but mostly avoided his gaze. Until he  _ couldn’t  _ ignore it anymore. He looked back and waved awkwardly to the child and he  _ immediately  _ burst into tears. He turned to his mother who comforted him.

_ «Mommy, the monster saw me!» _

_ «He’s not a monster, baby. He’s just tall.» _

Hinata snickered to himself, for once very glad he wasn’t freakishly tall. Cole turned fully around with a very red face as the child screamed.

Ryan pushed him from his sitting position with a laugh, “Good with children, huh?”

_ “Shut up,  _ Nyholm. I don’t understand why we had to go by  _ train.” _

“This is the way of Japan!” Hinata held a finger up. “We’ll be driving to Miyagi tomorrow, but otherwise—  _ train!” _

Ryan turned and looked at Hinata and Iwaizumi as they sat very close together. He wanted what they had. He turned and looked at Oikawa on his other side as he rode with his head back and his eyes shut. He smiled largely and pressed a kiss to his cheek, because he could do that. Oikawa opened his eyes and smiled at him.

«You’re adorable.»

“I’m going to pretend you just said that I am akin to God himself. Thank you! Wow, I—“ Ryan mock covered his heart with both hands. “I really wasn’t prepared for that.”

Oikawa watched him with a smile, knowing that whatever he was saying was stupid just from his gesturing and tone of voice.

«Dumbass.»

“Oh,  _ Tōru,  _ no!  _ You’re  _ perfect!”

Iwaizumi listened to their conversation over the sound of a wailing child before he rubbed his eyes and put his headphones in. The bullshit level was too high for him. He needed to leave the chat. Hinata put his thigh over his and he greedily claimed it in his hand.

Hinata pulled his headphone out and whispered that he was going to go talk to Jackson for a moment, but he’d be right back. Iwaizumi nodded and replaced his headphone while scrolling through  _ Reddit.  _

Hinata’s returned much sooner than anticipated, but Iwaizumi didn’t look up. When his fiance placed his leg over him again, he didn’t hesitate to return his hand to his leg, because why would he? Only, it felt wrong. Not  _ unfamiliar,  _ but it wasn’t Hinata. He looked up and laughed as he met Oikawa’s eye and removed his headphones.

«Can I help you?»

«You know, I’m really not a fan of this whole ‘not paying attention to me’ thing you’ve got going on.»

«Oh, I’m  _ so  _ sorry, Shittykawa,» Iwaizumi teased as he turned more fully to his friend and squeezed his thigh roughly in his hand. «Please, allow me to  _ devote  _ myself entirely to you.»

«God,  _ thank you.  _ About time,» Oikawa giggled, wincing slightly at the pain in his leg.

«I’ll tell Shōyō I can’t marry him anymore.»

«Is it really too much to ask?»

Iwaizumi laughed and slapped him upside the head, «No, of course not. I’ll just go tell the sun itself to go fuck itself.»

«Finally someone who understands what I need.»

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, «You’re ridiculous.»

«Oh,» Oikawa dismissed him with a flip of his hand. «You love me.»

«I do, but you’re still ridiculous.»

Ryan tapped Hinata on the calf with his crutch and gestured to where Oikawa and Iwaizumi got closer and closer the longer they fought for, as well as Iwaizumi’s hand on the inside of his thigh. Hinata took in the scene before looking back at Ryan.

“What about it?”

“I— Really? You’re just  _ cool  _ with that?”

Hinata shrugged, “If they were going to get together, they would’ve by now. They’ve been best friends their entire lives. It’s just how they are.”

Ryan pursed his lips as Iwaizumi’s hand slipped from the inside of Oikawa’s thigh all the way to the bottom of it.

“Yeah, this isn’t sitting right with me.”

“Relax,” Hinata patted his shoulder.

“What are they saying?”

Hinata tuned into the conversation they were having and strained to hear them, “Uh… Right now they’re talking about how Oikawa is the neediest lichen ever to burden this universe and Iwaizumi is the most emotionally detached, loser asshole that his mother ever had the displeasure of  _ not  _ swallowing.”

“Wow,” Ryan raised his eyebrows.

“It’s okay, they’re just pla—“

“He’s so perfect,” Ryan smiled warmly at Oikawa.

“Uh, right,” Hinata said. They surely were a very weird coupling.

Hinata sat in the seat between Ryan and Oikawa and played on his phone until they reached their stop. When the arrived, they all took their bags and disembarked, starting the small walk to Kuroo’s home.

“I’m kind of excited to see Kuroo’s girlfriend with my own two eyes,” Hinata said.

“I’m personally dreading it,” Iwaizumi said. “Something about how he talked about her just didn’t sit right with me.”

Hinata shrugged. Obviously the situation was messed up, but they were beyond that. Iwaizumi switched the hands he pulled his suitcase with so he could hold Hinata’s hand as they watched the scenery pass. Hinata glanced over his shoulder and saw Oikawa pulling two suitcases far behind the group with Ryan as he crutched along. He smiled at them before looking back at Iwaizumi.

“What do you think of Ryan and Oikawa?”

Iwaizumi pursed his lips as he thought, “Oikawa’s changed a lot since he started medication. He’s a lot less irrational now. I think they really even out each other. It says a lot that Oikawa didn’t shun him out affer he lost to him. It’ll be a shame when they have to ‘break up’. I really think Tōru will fall apart.”

“Oh,” Hinata frowned, unaware of Oikawa’s mental issues. He always thought he was just a bit of an asshole. “Maybe they won’t break up.”

“Maybe.”

They reached the house and walked inside, seeing the party was already raging. Hinata smiled, excited at the opportunity to finally completely let loose. He didn’t have to count his calories or make sure he went to bed at a certain time. More than that, he and Iwaizumi could get as rough as they wanted. He couldn’t wait.

They placed their suitcases along with all the others in the first room off the doorway and removed their shoes. They barely got into the living room before Bokuto tackled him and Iwaizumi in a hug. 

“Hey, hey, hey! The USA assholes are fashionably late  _ again!  _ You guys need a manners lesson! And that’s coming from an honorary  _ Italian!” _

“What does being Italian have to do with anything?” Iwaizumi pushed him off.

Bokuto took the rejection in stride and held his finger up as he spoke very matter of factly, “In Italy it’s  _ rude  _ to be on time! You should always allow your host the time to fully prepare for your arrival! But you people take it to the next level!”

“Sorry,” Hinata smiled bashfully. “In California time doesn’t mean a whole lot. Unless it’s work.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Chibi-chan!” Bokuto wrapped his arms around his shoulder and started leading him away, “Let’s get you straight fucked.”

“Yeah!” Hinata threw his hands up and laughed.

Iwaizumi turned to see who was still around him and saw only Cole, Ryan and Oikawa. Well, if he couldn’t be with Hinata, he wanted to be with Oikawa, Ryan or not. He wrapped his arm around Oikawa and smiled as he leaned into the touch. They started entering the room and were confronted by a  _ drunk  _ Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“Iwaizumi Hajime,” he put his hand on his shoulder and poked his chest with his drink wielding hand. “You didn’t lose.”

“No, we didn’t.”

Ushijima looked at Cole before his expression turned into a hearty glare, “I hate you.”

“Excuse me?” Cole stepped up.

“But I cannot deny your skill. Congratulations.”

“Thanks?”

Then, Ushijima turned his attention to Oikawa, who refused to meet his eye, «We wouldn’t have lost if you were on our team. You should’ve been on our team. Your talent is wasted with Brazil.»

Oikawa separated himself from Iwaizumi, «Brazil is a historically much stronger team than Japan. Top three in the world. Prick.»

Ushijima grabbed him by the shoulder and Oikawa squirmed to get away, «We’re  _ making  _ history. You should be on the right side of it.»

«You lost, too!  _ What about worthless pride? Huh? _ » Oikawa shouted, then his shoulders slumped further as Kageyama showed up.

«Congratulations,» he shook Iwaizumi’s hand. «How are things with Hinata?»

«Couldn’t be happier,» Iwaizumi said honestly.

«Good,» Kageyama paused before looking at Oikawa. «So, you and Ryan?»

Oikawa sneered at him before violently breaking away from Ushijima, «I have a concept. It’s called  _ don’t fucking talk to me.» _

They watched Oikawa storm off into the crowd of people and Iwaizumi sighed. He knew that he’d probably never get over his history with Kageyama, but he hoped it would have improved much like the rest of it when he started medication and therapy. Apparently not. He supposed that Ushijima and Kageyama were the two main driving factors of both his inferiority and superiority complexes as well as his anxiety. He couldn’t blame him too much for lashing out. He was trying his best.

Iwaizumi sighed again and went to get a drink with Ryan in tow. He turned to the setter and examined his knee.

“I’ll bring you a drink, go sit down.”

Ryan sighed but complied. Iwaizumi got to the kitchen and saw his fiance doing shots with Bokuto and was reminded heavily of their first night of fake dating. He smiled as he poured two drinks when Akaashi scared the living shit out of him by appearing by his side.

“Hi, Hajime!”

_ “Jesus Christ,”  _ Iwaizumi clutched his heart. “Hey.”

“Sorry!” Akaashi laughed before leaning on the counter. “You’re going to drink tonight?”

“Not much,” Iwaizumi shrugged, looking him up and down. “I have to drive everyone to Miyagi tomorrow.”

Akaashi wore tight black pants, a blank tank top under a loose, slightly see through, white button up shirt. He wore thigh high boots over his jeans and he looked  _ really  _ nice. Iwaizumi sunk further into the realization that he was  _ really  _ into the feminine look. He wondered what it’d take to get Hinata to dress that way. Just once. 

“Oh, you’re leaving tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’re going to be spending two weeks in Hinata’s hometown until our ceremony.”

“That sounds fun! Are you guys going to check out your old high schools? Bokuto plans on doing that while he’s here.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “Yeah. Well, Karasuno anyways. Hinata arranged it with his old faculty consultant. Takeda, I think his name is.”

“No way, he’s still doing the volleyball club thing? He was always their biggest fan.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Iwaizumi finished with the drinks and turned towards the living room, “I’m going to go bring this to Ryan. Want to come?”

“Sure!”

They made their way back to the living room and passed by Hinata and Bokuto. Iwaizumi leaned in and kissed his cheek. Hinata smiled at him and lightly touched his back as he left. Bokuto noticed Akaashi as well, but took a much different approach. He wound his hand up and slapped his ass  _ hard.  _ Akaashi hardly seemed to react to the touch, but waved at him with a smile of his own. Ryan sat on the couch and watched everyone else move around and socialize. Iwaizumi sat heavily next to him and Akaashi sat awkwardly beside Iwaizumi, probably due to his stinging skin. Ryan thanked him as he took the drink.

“Say, Iwadaddy?”

Iwaizumi blushed as Akaashi raised an eyebrow at the nickname, “Please stop calling me that.”

“I’ll stop calling you that when you stop liking it.”

“Then you never should’ve called me it in the first place,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as he sipped his drink.

“Whatever,” Ryan watched Kageyama talk to Kunimi, “Why does Oikawa hate Kageyama so much? I mean… I knew they had a rivalry but it seems to be more than that.”

Iwaizumi hummed and rolled the lip of his glass against his own lip, “You sure you want to go down that rabbit hole? It’s a tough one.”

Ryan looked at him and nodded, his face strangely serious. Iwaizumi sighed.

“Oikawa wasn’t always very good at volleyball. He wasn’t necessarily  _ talented,  _ but he loved it. He chipped away at it and worked at it until he was good. In middle school, he was the best he’d ever been, obviously, but he got comfortable. He still worked to improve, of course, but just less than before. Then Kageyama came to our school. And Kageyama  _ was— is  _ talented. It didn’t matter how much Oikawa worked or how much he planned or how much— Nothing was enough. Kageyama overshadowed him, but more than that, latched onto Oikawa as a mentor. He couldn’t handle it. He worked so hard that he partially dislocated his knee. Then one day, Kageyama asked him to teach him how to serve and Oikawa  _ snapped.  _ He had a panic attack. His first ever. He explained it to me later… He said he saw his life flash before his eyes— every failure and short coming, every time he lost and every moment the world proved to him he’d never be enough. But, he was going to make a mistake. He was about to resort to violence and slap Kageyama across the face… Luckily I was there. It could’ve been much worse.”

Ryan frowned deeply and looked back at Kageyama, “That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah. But he didn’t mean to go to do that. He wasn’t in his right mind.”

Ryan clearly wasn’t listening, “That’s just stupid. Kageyama should’ve recognized his place.”

Iwaizumi blinked at him. He just shared Oikawa’s darkest moment and the guy wasn’t just defending him, but he was  _ offended  _ that Kageyama— a  _ child—  _ didn’t understand mental illness?

“He was a kid, Ryan,” Iwaizumi frowned at him.

Ryan glanced at him, “Yeah, but even a fresh baby could recognize his greatness. I mean… Right?”

“This may come as a shock to you, but not everyone thinks so highly of Oikawa as you do,” Iwaizumi muttered.

“Why, though? It’s so obvious. How mind blowing he is.”

“Just not everyone feels that way.”

Ryan looked at him and he seemed  _ angry,  _ “Do  _ you  _ feel that way?”

“No one loves Oikawa as much as I do, okay? But we can’t go excusing him when he genuinely fucks up.”

“I just don’t see it that way,” Ryan shrugged.

Iwaizumi frowned, feeling sticky inside. He knew that Ryan was the only person on this planet who would  _ simp  _ so hard for his friend and that was what Oikawa wanted from a significant other. He  _ also  _ knew that Oikawa needed someone who would keep him in check, whether he liked it or not.

“You  _ should,”  _ Iwaizumi glared at him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Ryan mumbled. “If I were there, I’d absolutely stop him, too. Only because he’d regret it. I still think Kageyama should’ve backed off of him, though.”

None of them said anything for a long moment. Ryan broke the silence finally.

“I guess I can’t blame him too much. Who wouldn’t do whatever it took for Oikawa to teach them?” He sighed. “I just… I don’t know. I just hate it. I wish he knew how great he is.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi chewed his cheek. “It’s a hard situation.”

As if summoned, Oikawa materialized in front of them with two drinks and faltered when Ryan already sipped on one. He pursed his lips before turning and offering it to Akaashi.

«Sorry, I don’t drink.»

Oikawa nodded and looked down at his extra drink before shrugging and double fisting them. Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows at him and Oikawa rolled his eyes.

«Do you  _ want  _ me to survive tonight with these people?»

«Eh,» Iwaizumi shrugged. «I’m indifferent.»

Oikawa narrowed his eyes at him, «Where’s your  _ super awesome  _ husband?»

«My  _ super awesome  _ husband, huh?» Iwaizumi smirked. «Not sure.»

«You’re just comfortable letting him walk around here on his own?» Oikawa studied him closely.

«Why wouldn’t I be?»

«The little idiot can’t go two feet without getting hit on.»

«I trust him,» Iwaizumi glared at him.

«Yeah, but do you trust everyone else here?»

Iwaizumi stared at him then looked around for Hinata. Did he really think someone there would take advantage of him? Hinata could certainly handle himself, but… He certainly partook in Iwaizumi’s mistake when he kissed him the first time and he’d been drunk then, too. But he wasn’t engaged then. It was almost impossible to pick Hinata out of a crowd since he dyed his hair the dullest brown on the planet, rivaled only by Kunimi’s... Or Suna’s.

His eyes finally landed on his fiance at the far side of the room, just talking with Japan’s libero. That was hardly reason to be alarmed. No one seemed particularly concerned with him. He eyed up Oikawa, unbelieving the he actually allowed him to push his buttons.

Akaashi ran his hand over his shoulder, catching his attention. He looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. Akaashi leaned forward and spoke lowly to him.

“Is that your teammate?”

Iwaizumi followed his gaze to where Cole spoke with Natsu. When did  _ she  _ get there? Hinata probably invited her. Or maybe Akaashi did. Or actually, maybe it was even Kenma. He supposed she had a  _ bunch  _ of friends at the party. It was a weird thought. What was alarming, though, was the way they evidently flirted with each other. Cole was a dead man walking. Iwaizumi hurriedly stood and rushed over to him before Hinata saw it. When he got to them, he roughly pulled Cole to the side.

“Whoa, what the hell, Hajime?”

Iwaizumi yanked the behemoth down so he could speak quietly to him, “If Shōyō sees that, you’re fucking  _ dead.” _

“Sees what?” Cole stared with wide eyes.

“You flirting with his  _ sister,”  _ Iwaizumi hissed.

Cole looked between Iwaizumi and Natsu, “I wouldn’t ever do anything without asking him first. What’s the harm in flirting? It doesn’t mean anything.”

Iwaizumi let him go, “Your funeral, man.”

Cole dismissed him with a wave of his hand, “You can stop him.”

“Yeah, but who says I will? You’ve been warned.”

Cole looked from Iwaizumi’s crossed arms to where Natsu had moved on to a new group of people.

“Looks like it doesn’t matter anyways,” Cole chuckled as he walked away. “Thanks, man.”

Iwaizumi chuckled and looked down at his cup. When he looked back up, things changed. He was still in Kuroo’s home, but it was decorated for the holidays. He furrowed his brow and looked for where Cole just went, only Cole wasn’t there. His head snapped back to the couch, and all of his friends were gone except Oikawa. Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes. It looked like Oikawa was talking to… Daichi? No way!

He hurried over, excited to see him. It’d been so long. He didn’t know Hinata’s old teammates would be there. Oikawa shook his head and glared at the old captain as he explained something apologetically and gestured vaguely to the room. Iwaizumi faltered and watched where he gestured.

He wasn’t in Kuroo’s house at all. He was in Oikawa’s home. That was okay. Oikawa’s home was his safe place. It was just that he didn’t remember going there. He saw all the people he went to high school with dressed to the nines and drinking like animals. He stopped fully and scratched his head.

“I can’t believe Karasuno  _ really  _ crashed Oikawa’s party,” Kindaichi frowned.

“Why? They’re idiots,” Kunimi mumbled.

Iwaizumi smiled largely as he remembered. They were all about to fight for their chance for nationals. It was his last chance and he definitely wouldn’t lose. He moved to talk to his teammates when he caught a glimpse of orange from his peripheral. He turned quickly and saw Karasuno’s middle blocker shake his hands defensively at his teammates.

Kageyama and a couple other guys from their team mercilessly poked fun at him for not having anyone to kiss under the mistletoe. Iwaizumi would do it, if he could, but there was a million and one reasons why he would never, ever go for a guy like that. The main one being that he’d annoy him halfway to death. He’d be a lying liar to say he wasn’t pretty, though.

He turned back to talk to Kindaichi and Kunimi, but when he did, no one was there. No one at all. He quickly spun back to see that little ginger again, but he was alone. Entirely alone in Oikawa’s home. Or so he thought.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa called from the kitchen.

“I’m here!”

Oikawa walked into the living room and smiled at him. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure why, but he felt relief to see his friend. It felt like forever since he’d seen him. Oikawa brought him into a tight hug.

“Am I stupid, Iwa-chan?”

“What? Of course not. Most of the time. Why?”

“There’s something I haven’t been telling you.”

Iwaizumi frowned and pulled away, feeling sticky inside, “What is it?”

“The reason I haven’t been talking to you… I— I have a girlfriend. And she told me she didn’t like you, so I… I just stopped talking to you. And I’m so sorry. I—“

“Oikawa… What is her name?”

“Emily Limeux.”

Anger flared so deeply inside of his body. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut out the red in his vision. He turned and tugged on his hair. That’s why you  _ never  _ trusted people. He hated her. He hated Oikawa. How could his best friend do that to him? His  _ brother?  _ He plunged his fists down to his sides and turned back to Oikawa— but he wasn’t there.

“Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows, his anger dying away rather quickly. Oikawa’s voice sounded so distant. He followed where he thought it came from.

“Iwa-chan!”

He walked down the hall and it almost seemed as though the doorways became much taller. He frowned at the passing walls before catching himself in the mirror Oikawa’s parents kept at the end of the hall. He walked forward curiously, and saw himself in his middle school uniform. He frowned.

He felt… sad. Really sad. He felt a dull throb in his ribs and on his knees. He subconsciously ran his hand over his ribs and winced as the pain ran through him again.

“Iwa-chan! You out there?”

Iwaizumi entered Oikawa’s bedroom and saw his friend in his own uniform, excitedly setting up a sleeping spot for him on the floor. When he noticed his friend was there, he sat back and beamed up at him.

“Dad says you don’t ever have to go home! Not unless they force you to! Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said.

“We’re really like brothers now!”

Iwaizumi looked down at him, feeling the sadness bloom in his chest until it exploded. His knees buckled and he fell into the sleeping spot Oikawa just set up. His friend held him tightly, rocking them back and forth.

“It’s okay, Iwa-chan. They won’t hurt you anymore. Your skin will heal. And I’ll be here to fix the rest. Okay?”

Iwaizumi squeezed him back as he sobbed. He squeezed harder and harder until he felt his arms squeeze back into his own arms. Panic flooded him and he looked down to see he was once again alone. He held his arms out and examined the bruises all along them. His skin was filthy. He itched everywhere.

He looked up and was confronted by the filth and squalor of his childhood home. The first one. He stood and fear began creeping up his feet. Something wasn’t right.

He stepped over trash and debris as he looked around the dim living room. The wallpaper was nicotine stained and peeling. He couldn’t see the floor anywhere. The smell of cat urine burned his nostrils and the offending feline meowed loudly from somewhere behind him. He tripped over something part way through the room and pain wracked his body. He felt so  _ frail. _

He clutched his knee in his hands as tears swelled up in his eyes. His knees were very boney and already very bruised. He still had gravel pressed into them. He began picking the rocks out of his skin as the tears fell from his eyes when the hunger cramps got to him. He groaned and curled into himself, gripping his stomach.

He forced himself up, the room spun around him as his vision flashed black. He trudged forward to the kitchen. The only thing getting him there was the promise of food at the end. Bile pushed its way up his throat as he saw a cockroach scuttle from one heap of debris to another. He pulled the fridge open and disappointment grasped him tightly. There was only an empty jar of pickles and a container of margarine.

_ “You’re a stupid, fucking cunt!” _

His head snapped in the direction of his father’s angry voice. The fear surpassed his ankles and began caressing his calves.

_ “Well, what do you expect me to do?”  _ His mother cried.  _ “How are we supposed to feed these kids if you’re smoking all the cigarettes! We can’t afford both!” _

_ “I don’t care if that little asshole eats. I fucking  _ hope  _ he starves.” _

Iwaizumi felt a hole punch through his chest at the words. His shoulders slumped as the fear built higher.

“Besides… Smoking makes the hunger go away. Maybe they should just smoke, too.”

Iwaizumi gripped his stomach as it cramped painfully again. Did that really work? He looked through his hazy and tear stained vision and spotted his mother’s purse on the counter. He stood on his tippy toes and peered inside.

He reached in and removed her cigarettes and lighter. He didn’t want to do it, but he didn’t want to feel hungry anymore. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate. He removed a cigarette with shaking fingers and put it between his lips and lit it the same way he’d seen his parents do a million times before.

He coughed hard on the first drag. He sputtered and spit flew from his mouth as he almost threw up, but the slight comfort in his abdomen egged him on. The second drag was much better. He felt calm fall over him as the hunger began subsiding. Only for a moment, though.

_ “Mom,  _ It’s  _ stealing!” _

Iwaizumi turned and stared in shock as his brother pointed at him. All the calm he felt washed away as his entire body was swallowed by fear. He didn’t even have time to hide what he was doing before his parents were in front of him. He looked up and gulped.

His mother reached down and took his ear in her hand, squeezing hard as she pulled him up. The heat ran through his body as he cried out, wanting nothing more than to be anywhere else. She snatched the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag off of it before throwing him down.

“You like to steal from your parents, do you? We do  _ everything  _ for you, and you want to  _ steal from us?” _

“I’m sorry.”

“You like smoking?”

Iwaizumi looked away.

_ “Answer me!” _

His head snapped back as he met her eye from the floor, trembling, “N-no.”

“Then  _ why do you do it?” _

He covered his face in his hands as the tears took him. The fear was too intense in his brain to form thoughts. He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything.

“Come here,” she snapped. When he didn’t move she ripped him up by his arm, burning his skin with the velocity of it. She threw him roughly up to the counter and yelled in his face.

“Only  _ bad little boys steal.  _ Do you know what happens to  _ bad little boys?” _

“Yes,” Iwaizumi sobbed.

He struggled against her as she fought to take a hold of him. She finally slammed her arm against his chest to hold him against the cabinets before pressing the cigarette into the first place she could reach. Iwaizumi cried out in agony as his hand instinctively went to the wound, but he didn’t get there in time before she slapped him.

“You make it so hard to love you.”

She backed away and snatched her purse from the counter. She stormed off towards the door.

“Hey, cunt, where are you going?” His father followed him angrily.

“Out! Fuck off!”

“Mom! Don’t leave!” Iwaizumi cried through his sobs as he clutched his ankle before hissing at the searing pain. “Don’t leave me!  _ Mom! Please!” _

The door slammed loudly. Even through his pain, Iwaizumi knew it was his only moment to get away. He slunk off the counter and crawled as fast as his little legs would take him over the mess and garbage all around. His breath was knocked out of him as his father used his boot to knock him into the floor. He opened his eyes as he attempted to breathe when he was confronted with a dead mouse. He bit back his scream. His father was much scarier than some mouse.

He was petrified in place as he heard the belt come off. He fought against his father’s foot against his back, but quickly realized he wasn’t getting away. His lungs burned as he breathed in cat urine and cigarette smoke.

“Anything to say to me?”

Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut as he bawled.

“Huh? Nothing? Could be your last chance.”

“Please,” he cried in desperation. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!  _ I’m sorry!” _

He felt the energy of his father as he leaned down over him. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked away, the sobs rocking him. Fear paralyzed him.

“Are you okay?”

His face felt cool suddenly as a breeze flew against his face. He opened his eyes and slowly turned back to look into his father’s eyes. But they weren’t green. No, they were very brown. Deep, rich brown. His dad never asked if he was okay. The fear still had a tight clutch on his soul, but something was comforting about those eyes.

“Hajime!”

He winced at his fathers angry look and tried squirming away. He managed to break free from the knee holding him down, but was quickly caught by the back of the shirt. His father spun him around and shook him by the front of the shirt.

“Iwaizumi!”

The sobs took him again as the brief rush of adrenaline he felt slowed back into fear and then slower into resignation. He gasped loudly as he felt a very firm slap against his face. The pain prickled throughout his cheek and he brought his hand up to cover it.

_ “Look at me!” _

He reluctantly moved his head back to where his father stood and opened his eyes. Oikawa stared down at him, panic burned in his deep brown eyes. Iwaizumi startled back and grasped his wrists tightly. He was on his knees in the grass somewhere. He didn’t know where. Oikawa stood over him. He was afraid.

Oikawa was afraid, but Iwaizumi never felt safer. He broke down all over again. He pulled Oikawa down with him and hugged him tightly as he sobbed into his shoulder.

«I’m here.»

Iwaizumi cried harder and Oikawa simply pulled him closer and rocked him.

«They can’t hurt you anymore, Iwa-chan. For real, this time.»

Iwaizumi gripped the back of his shirt, soaking in his warmth and security.

«You don’t ever have to go home. Not even if they force you. I’m here.»

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way. Minutes, hours, years even? He’d believe whatever he was told. When he calmed down some, he loosened his grip on Oikawa.

«Are you okay?»

«I don’t know.»

«That’s okay.»

He looked up finally and saw they weren’t alone. Shame and embarrassment rushed through his veins as he looked up at Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi and Hinata. They all had varying levels of fear and concern on their faces. He looked around and saw they were deep in the field behind Kuroo’s house.

«What… happened?»

Akaashi looked at him and cleared his throat, «You were talking to Cole, then you started acting very strangely. You kept looking around like you were confused. Then you talked to yourself for a moment and it looked like you were going to fight someone.»

«Yeah,» Kuroo shifted awkwardly with crossed arms. «Then you walked through the kitchen, and it looked like you were realizing you had a body for the first time ever in the patio doors.»

«Akaashi came and got me,» Hinata said, looking deeply hurt. «You were already out here, just crying. You didn’t say anything for awhile. But… then, um, it got worse? You started yelling and screaming. For your mom. You were… apologizing and, uh… begging. Nothing I tried seemed to help.»

Iwaizumi’s heart fell as Hinata’s voice got thick, but before he could tell him not to cry, Bokuto spoke.

«Akaashi came back and asked me to find Oikawa. Then, we came out here. And now… We’re here.»

«Oh.»

Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa when he felt his hands running through his hair. The shame was so deep in his skin that he itched.

«I’m really sorry.»

«Don’t apologize,» Bokuto said.

«No, never,» Kuroo shook his head.

«We’re just happy you’re okay,» Akaashi hugged himself tightly.

«We love you,» Hinata kneeled in front of him and took his hand.

«We’re real and we’re here,» Oikawa tugged on his hair.

Iwaizumi squeezed his fiance’s hand in his own, feeling his warm pulse. He certainly was real.

«I saw you there.»

«What?» Hinata said, shocked.

«I don’t really remember. I just remember seeing you there.»

«In a bad way?»

Iwaizumi shook his head and examined Hinata’s fingernails. They were neatly kept and very short.

«I just remember thinking you were beautiful.»

Hinata frowned, not knowing what to say. He didn’t know anything about anything that just happened. All he knew was that he was glad it was over, whatever it was. Seeing Oikawa both slap Iwaizumi and call him anything aside from Iwa-chan disturbed him deeply. 

«Let’s go back inside,» Iwaizumi mumbled. «I wasted enough of your time.»

«Never a wasted moment with you, Iwa-chan!» Oikawa sang, pulling him up. «Let’s go have some fun!»

Iwaizumi pulled Hinata along with his other hand as Oikawa charged them inside. He stared at the back of his friend’s head. He was in all but one part of his flashbacks. How’d they fall so out of touch? He stopped dead and Oikawa was like an elastic the way he shot out then right back into Iwaizumi. He looked down at him curiously as the rest of them went inside, save for Hinata.

Iwaizumi took his face in both hands, «I love you so much.»

Oikawa’s eyes widened as he blushed, «Uh, I love you, too. You know that, Iwa-chan.»

«I do. And I can’t thank you enough for that.»

Oikawa’s shock melted into fondness. He mirrored Iwaizumi and pressed his hands into the sides of his head before pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

«You have nothing to thank me for, friend. Loving you is easy.»

Iwaizumi’s hands fell lax as Oikawa turned and started back inside. He watched him go for a moment, considering if he really knew much more than Iwaizumi thought. Really he knew it was just Oikawa’s nature to always know exactly what to say to him at all times. He felt Hinata reclaim his hand and watch with him.

«I’m glad you two are friends.»

Iwaizumi glanced down at him, «Yeah. Me too.»

His face was dragged back down and Hinata stared into his eyes, seemingly trying to gage his alrightness.

«I’m okay,» Iwaizumi reassured before kissing him.

Hinata sighed against his lips, melting into him, «Are you sure?»

«Yes. I mean, I wish I knew why that happened, but… I’m okay.»

Hinata nodded at him, not missing how his body still shook, «Want to go inside?»

«I’d go anywhere with you.»

Hinata smiled and led him inside, «Maybe you should wash your face. It’ll probably feel nice.»

«Good idea,» Iwaizumi smiled at him, feeling steady again. He couldn’t remember the images he just saw, but felt the ghost of terror deep within him still.

They went to the bathroom and Hinata kept him company as he washed his face. He dried his skin with a towel before looking at his fiance.

«Have you seen that girl yet? Kuroo’s girlfriend?»

«No, I don’t think so,» Hinata laughed.

«Let’s go find her,» Iwaizumi hoisted him up eliciting a  _ beautiful  _ laugh from Hinata. «I love you so fucking much.»

«I love you more,» Hinata squeezed his hand.

They were just about to go down the stairs when Iwaizumi heard a noise. He stopped dead in his tracks and let go of Hinata’s hand lest he plummet to his death with the velocity that Hinata charged on with. His fiance struggled to stop his momentum and looked up at him.

«What?»

«I forgot something up here,» Iwaizumi said. «I’ll be right down.»

Hinata looked at him skeptically but nodded regardless. He figured Iwaizumi just needed a second to collect himself privately and settled in on the bottom stair, waiting.

Iwaizumi took a few steps backwards and pressed his ear against the door he thought he heard something from. To his horror, the door pushed open slightly. He froze and waited, just listening, but the people inside didn’t seem to notice. He wasn’t sure what was possessing him to  _ spy  _ on people, but he had an off feeling about whatever was happening.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, don’t stop.”

Iwaizumi frowned at the familiar voices, but he wouldn’t believe it until he saw it. He peeked in and just about left his body at the sight before him. He would  _ never  _ mention it to another living being.

Hinata stood and turned when Iwaizumi walked down slowly, as white as a ghost. Panic flared up inside of him and he pressed his hands into his cheeks.

“Hajime? Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah? Yeah. I’m good. Want to go get drunk? I’d like to forget tonight.”

Hinata couldn’t agree more, “Yes, please.”

They clasped hands and walked through the living room, examining people. Iwaizumi cringed as he saw Ryan was blasted and was fully grasping Oikawa’s no-butt. Oikawa caught his eye and winked at him, to which Iwaizumi returned with a salute. They got to the kitchen where Bokuto glared at Kuroo as he took shots with Kenma. Hinata pulled his hand free and barrelled over to the kitchen island and wrapped his arms around his friend from behind.

“Kenma!”

Kuroo gave him a  _ what-the-fuck-face,  _ while Bokuto turned away and Akaashi covered his mouth with his hand. Iwaizumi furrowed his brow and felt panic flood him once a-fucking-gain as he heard the trademark flat voice from behind him.

“Shōyō?”

Hinata slowly removed his arms from who could only be Kuroo’s girlfriend and turned to look at Kenma. His face flushed bright red as he shrunk away from the woman who turned towards him.

She pulled her long hair out from the inside of her sweater, revealing she was not, in fact, Kenma once and for all.

«Uh, this is Kozue, my girlfriend,» Kuroo said awkwardly.

“Kozue,” Hinata repeated flatly.

She smiled at him, «It means treetops.»

«Right...»

They all awkwardly shifted around for a moment before Iwaizumi reached over and took the bottle of alcohol from in front of Kuroo and dragged Hinata away by the hand, «Thanks! See you later!»

Hinata sighed heavily as they got as far away from that situation as possible, «Tonight is a disaster.»

«You’re telling me,» Iwaizumi shook his head as he took a large drink from the bottle before handing it to Hinata. «But we’re going to see your parents tomorrow.»

«Right. I’m really excited!» Hinata winced at the burning the alcohol caused in his throat. 

Iwaizumi laughed at him and kissed him, “Plus we’re gonna go check out Karasuno’s new team.”

“Yeah!” Hinata smiled widely. “I’m so excited!”

Iwaizumi looked down at the bottle then up the stairs, “Maybe we should go claim a room before there isn’t one to claim and we’re doomed to sleeping on the floor.”

“You’re smart,” Hinata smiled even larger. “Let’s go!”

Iwaizumi allowed himself to be pulled forward as he took another large drink from the bottle. He watched Hinata’s ass as he charged up the stairs and decided he was going to take his frustrations out on him the second that door shut.

“Hey, Hinata.”

His fiance looked down at him with flushed cheeks, “Yeah?”

“I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you, too.”


	20. Chapter 20




	21. Incapable Of Making Alright Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a doozy  
> CONTENT WARNING:  
> porn  
> assault  
> hallucinations  
> AND THE BIG ONE  
> Graphic descriptions of eating disorders. SKIP PLEASE IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE OKAY ❤️

Iwaizumi forced his eyes open the next morning and sat up. He groaned and held his pounding head in his hands. He didn’t remember anything that happened the previous night after he and Hinata holed themselves up in a bedroom and finished an entire bottle of vodka between them. When he thought his eyes could handle it, he looked down at his sleeping fiance.

His dull brown hair stuck to his face and his mouth was open as he drooled on his pillow. His cheeks were very flushed and his skin was pale and sweaty. The evidence of their love graced his skin in the form of reds, blues and purples. He reached out and placed his hand over the imprinted hand mark on the back of his shoulder.

Iwaizumi leaned down and kissed his temple, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Hinata sighed then moved his head up a bit and pursed his lips. Iwaizumi smiled and eagerly met them with his own. Hinata went to pull away after the chaste kiss, but Iwaizumi had other plans. He took him gently by the cheek and directed him back towards himself. Hinata complied, meeting his lips at whichever pace he so chose. Iwaizumi pressed in closer, abandoning his lips in favor of his jaw and ear. He licked the shell of his ear and sighed into it, feeling the goosebumps that ran over his skin. Hinata took his hand and roughly redirected its attention from his chest to his erection. Iwaizumi smirked as he tugged on his earlobe with his teeth and gladly took his fiance in his hand. He teased him, never really giving him full contact, but when he did it was only for a fleeting moment.

He savored the way Hinata panted and squirmed against him. He pulled his hand away entirely, causing the most delectable noise to come from deep within his fiance. He spat in his hand before using that as a makeshift lube and pushing himself easily inside of Hinata— and if he thought the  _ last  _ sound was the most beautiful he’d ever heard, well.

Iwaizumi took his one leg and held it up to stabilize himself better as he got into the rhythm of it. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head as Hinata leaned forward and gripped the sheets while he whined. Iwaizumi hated to admit it, but he was already unraveling and he didn’t think he could stop it. Between the whines and moans, the writhing and grasping, the heat and tightness all coming from Hinata— it was too much. He couldn’t stand the way his hand dug into marks he’d already created during their last lovemaking. He couldn’t take the way his  _ fiance  _ already smelled of cum and sweat. He couldn’t handle the concept that he’d be doing just that for the rest of his life. He moved his hand from Hinata’s hip and pushed him onto his stomach, pulling him roughly back before slamming back into him. Hinata buried his face into the mattress and rested his hands far above his head. Iwaizumi ran his hand over his ass, over his hip, down his spine and around his neck, where he finally settled on gripping tightly. The way his strangled moans vibrated against his palm was too fucking much. He could feel his adam’s apple struggle to move as he fought to swallow. He felt his quickening pulse deep within his skin and he knew he had all the power.

He groaned as he leaned forward, loosening his grip on Hinata's throat and feeling him breathe at his discretion. He slammed into him with all of his force as he came, groaning his love loudly. Hinata panted and rolled their hips together before pulling away. He sat up near the pillows on the bed with spread legs and directed Iwaizumi down.

He complied readily, prepared to prove his love once again for the beautiful man. Hinata took his hair in his hand as he threw his head back and moaned. Then, to Iwaizumi’s surprise, he started thrusting into his mouth. It only took about three tries to make him gag and nearly throw up. He looked up and met Hinata’s hooded eyes as he stared down with a look Iwaizumi honestly didn’t recognize. Hinata dragged him away by his hair and kissed him roughly.

“I love you.”

Iwaizumi wanted to respond, but was cut off by another intense kiss. He allowed Hinata into his mouth and even fought back, eventually getting his tongue into Hinata’s mouth instead. He gasped and pulled back a bit as Hinata bit him unexpectedly.

“Lay down.”

“What?”

“Lay down,” Hinata repeated, pushing on his chest. “It’s my turn.”

“Um,” Iwaizumi said, but did as he was told.

Hinata spent a good amount of time prepping him up lovingly. He moved slowly and deliberately. Iwaizumi struggled against the foreign movement. It would’ve been hard enough to actively feel turned on by it if he were horny, but he just spent out. He pushed forward only by sheer force of will and desire to pleasure Hinata.

He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling as Hinata worked at him, decidedly hating it. He wasn’t sure why. He  _ wanted  _ to like it. He didn’t necessarily  _ mind  _ it the last time Hinata topped him, but he just wasn’t feeling it. Hinata took Iwaizumi in his hand as he leaned over him and fingered him.

“Hey, look at me,” Hinata whispered.

Iwaizumi met his eye and his gut twisted at his flushed cheeks and absolute, unwavering love in his eyes. He made a decision to actively try and enjoy himself even more. He just didn’t like how it felt. It was uncomfortable and made his entire body feel unpleasantly hot. Hinata held his hand in front of his face and he spit into it for him. Iwaizumi bit his cheek hard as Hinata slowly pushed into him. It hurt. A lot.

He sighed heavily and stared back up at the ceiling, clenching his jaw. Hinata ran his hands up his body before warmly caressing his cheek and pressing a loving kiss against his lips.

“You okay?”

“Yep.”

“I love you.”

“You too.”

Hinata began to slowly move his hips and Iwaizumi winced. Anal was  _ not  _ meant to be done if you weren’t in the mood for it. He was convinced. He kept his jaw firmly shut as he dug his nails into his own wrist. If he just waited, it’d be over. His gut tugged as Hinata ran his hands over his thighs and moaned. At least he was feeling good, that made Iwaizumi feel good, too.

He moved slowly. He embedded passion and love into every minute movement, and Iwaizumi took notice. He sighed and wrapped his arms around Hinata when he leaned in against his chest and buried his face into his neck. He moaned lightly when Hinata began sucking at his neck. His eyes rolled back entirely and his whole upper body lurched forward when Hinata hit him just right.

“Like that?”

Iwaizumi didn’t answer. He just laid back again and ran his hand over Hinata’s chest. His body reacted in a similar way when Hinata brushed up against him perfectly once again. His arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders as he moaned. Hinata chuckled softly into his neck.

“Gotcha.”

Hinata’s movements got a bit faster, but not by much, and he hit Iwaizumi right _every_ _single time._ He was entirely a mess on the mattress, trapped between his arms, gripping at him, the sheets, the pillows, anything he could get his hands on as he moaned pathetically.

Hinata smiled warmly and kissed him before caressing his cheek and working faster. Iwaizumi moved his hips to meet his as the previously terrible heat warmed him in the most intense way.

Iwaizumi’s head darted to the door when he heard a knock, but Hinata didn’t even attempt to slow down. He just pressed his hand over Iwaizumi’s mouth, who bit down in an attempt to stay quiet.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto called. “You up?”

Hinata stared down at Iwaizumi, never slowing, and removed his hand from between his teeth. He gestured to the door with his head.

“Answer him.”

Iwaizumi glared up at him and shook his head, then nearly blew it when Hinata hit his sweet spot again. Hinata snickered silently at him. Bokuto went to open the door, and Iwaizumi thanked  _ everything  _ that they’d remembered to lock it in their drunken states the night before.

“Guys, it’s like one in the afternoon.”

“Answer him,” Hinata whispered into his ear.

“Yes,” Iwaizumi called, voice strained.

He cursed himself.  _ Yes  _ wasn’t a valid response to what he asked. Any fuck he gave about that melted away as Hinata thrusted much harder. Iwaizumi bit his own arm in an attempt to stay quiet.

“Uh, okay? We’re making lunch. Are you getting up?”

“Yes,” Iwaizumi cried.

“Hey, sorry! Didn’t mean to bother ya!” Bokuto laughed. “You must be really hung over.”

Iwaizumi couldn’t breathe under the strain of staying quiet. He was going to come  _ again.  _ Seriously? Hinata hadn’t even finished once. His lips against his jaw sent fire through him. Each thrust was another nail in the coffin.

«What are you doing, Bokuto?»

Iwaizumi shut his eyes as someone new joined their stupid fucking conversation. He zoned in on Hinata’s movements. He was living a nightmare but for some reason it was working for him.

«I’m just telling them about lunch.»

Hinata went impossibly harder and Iwaizumi covered his face with a pillow and screamed silently into it. He arched his back when someone knocked on the door again.

«Get up, Iwa-chan!» Oikawa shouted. «You’ve been calling  _ me  _ Lazykawa all this time?»

Iwaizumi cursed his head.  _ That  _ caused a whole slew of confusing feelings. He certainly did  _ not  _ want to hear Oikawa calling his name as Hinata fucked him into next year.

«Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!!!» Oikawa called between each slam on the door.

«Go the fuck away!» Iwaizumi screamed as he threw the pillow down.

«Wow, what crawled up your butt?»

_ «Fuck. Off.» _

Hinata laughed as Iwaizumi glared heartily at the door. When it seemed like they were alone again, he went back in with a new gusto and Iwaizumi writhed under him. Hinata broke into an evil smile and leaned down into Iwaizumi’s ear.

“Iwa-chan,” he sang lowly.

Iwaizumi glared at him. He wasn’t sure  _ why the fuck  _ that turned him on. It made him angry. Oikawa was next to the last thing he wanted on his mind. But knowing he  _ finally  _ had someone Oikawa couldn’t unwittingly steal… That felt nice.

The thoughts entirely exited his mind as Hinata made rapidfire connection with his sweet spot. Hinata sat back and held firmly onto his thighs as he thrusted and looked down at him with such firmly held love and admiration that Iwaizumi had to look away.

“I love you.”

“You too.”

Hinata sighed, knowing he’d have to either get rough or hurtful in order to finish Iwaizumi again, which he planned on. He leaned down and kissed his cheek before slapping him. It wasn’t hard. He couldn’t bring himself to use even half of his possible force, but when Iwaizumi met his eye again, he was tempted to repeat himself. He frowned, knowing that calling Iwaizumi the same things he called him wouldn’t do anything good. Iwaizumi simply wasn’t a bottom. Hinata would just have to get him with his body.

He tried his best not to alter his positioning so he could hammer away at his prostate. When Iwaizumi broke his moans with a sigh and moved to touch himself, Hinata snatched his hand up and held it above his head, still gripping his thigh with the other.

“No, no.  _ I’m  _ doing this.”

_ That  _ seemed to do something for him. Hinata couldn’t resist leaning down and kissing him. He made him feel so good. He pushed his thighs under Iwaizumi’s and groaned at the weight of his legs around his waist. He loved when he put his trust in him.

“God,” Iwaizumi gasped, and butterflies tore through Hinata. “Don’t stop. Please, I— Yeah.”

Hinata leaned up so he could watch his face. It was so foreign to see Iwaizumi give up so much control in such an intimate situation.

“Shōyō,” Iwaizumi arched his back up off the bed and tugged on his hair.

Hinata went harder, showing no mercy. Iwaizumi groaned from deeply within himself and wrapped his arms tightly around Hinata as he shook. Hinata made sure to keep space between their abdomens. He was accomplishing his goal without hands.

_ “Fuck, Shōyō,”  _ Iwaizumi cried as he came undone.

Hinata watched his face before snapping his head down to the mess Iwaizumi was making. He finally reached down and stroked him, helping him to fully enjoy his reward. It was hard to focus on as he finished as well. He rode it fully out, savoring the feeling of being inside of his true love.

He sat back finally with one last kiss and stood. Iwaizumi made no attempt to stand so Hinata took it upon himself to throw some pants on and move to the bathroom and retrieve two hot cloths and returned, throwing one to Iwaizumi. They wiped over their sweaty bodies the best they could with their wipes with Hinata wincing often as he ran over his bruises. Iwaizumi was really bruised, too, he noticed.

He looked his fiance up and down and wondered  _ what exactly  _ happened the night before. He watched Iwaizumi struggle to stand and saw he had large squares of gauze across his back in two spots.

“Wow, why am I just getting  _ more  _ sore?” Iwaizumi groaned as he opened Hinata’s bag and removed the tattoo concealer they kept.

“I’m not sure,” Hinata frowned deeply. “Why do you have gauze on your back?”

“I do?” He flung his arm around to feel it and yelped when he made firm contact. “What the fuck happened last night?”

“I’m not sure,” Hinata repeated quietly.

“Okay,” Iwaizumi frowned back as he unscrewed the lid and sat beside Hinata. “I guess we’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Unless we don’t,” Hinata stretched his neck up so Iwaizumi could apply the makeup over his bruises.

“If we don’t then I doubt it ever really mattered.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Iwaizumi worked in silence while Hinata admired his focused expression and how gentle his touches were. He’d occasionally stick his tongue out as he patted over the dark spots with a sponge. He used to just use his finger until Leilani teased him for the very obvious and uneven application and informed them on how beauty blenders existed. So, they switched to a sponge and no one ever commented again.

“Whoa, hey,” Hinata startled and grabbed his hand.

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow as they examined his busted knuckles. He closed his hands into a fist and there was only a dull pain. That was so weird.

“Looks like I was angry,” Iwaizumi said flatly.

“Yep. Sure does.”

Iwaizumi pulled his hand away and continued covering Hinata’s bruises as gently as possible. They sat in heavy silence, both trying not to jam the only two puzzle pieces they had together. They were ill fitting, but they were close in color. Iwaizumi had split knuckles and wounds and Hinata had bruises. There was only really one explanation, but neither wanted to accept it. They weren’t fully sure.

When Iwaizumi was done he screwed the lid back on the bottle and kissed Hinata on the top of the head. They said nothing as they finally made their way downstairs. Iwaizumi didn’t care if their friends saw his bruises from around his clothes, honestly. He wore them with pride.

They made their way into the kitchen, following the scent of roasted vegetables and garlic. When they arrived they saw most of their friends packed into the small room. The most notable reactions were from Leilani, Bokuto and Akaashi.

Leilani smiled largely before her face went entirely red. Bokuto  _ beamed  _ at him and was coming in for a hug. And Akaashi… Did nothing. He didn’t even acknowledge the fact that he was a living person. It was such a stark difference from how he’d normally seek Iwaizumi out that he didn’t know what to make of it. It was additionally weird, because that was the first time Iwaizumi saw him actually fully looking like a boy. He wore sweatpants and what he assumed was Bokuto’s old Fukurōdani sweater while his face was entirely natural. He looked pretty good like that, too. 

Bokuto grabbed him and spun him around, either not noticing or blatantly ignoring Iwaizumi’s pained protests. The guy was squeezing Iwaizumi where it hurt— just about everywhere. He showed no sign of stopping as he gushed at him.

“HEY, HEY,  _ HEY!  _ Check him out! Our hero! So brave!”

_ “What  _ are you talking abo—“

“Bokuto, sweetie, please put him down,” Akaashi said sweetly over his shoulder. “He’s probably in pain.”

“Oh,” Bokuto went stiff before awkwardly placing Iwaizumi back on the floor. “Sorry, dude.”

“All good?” Iwaizumi scratched his head.

Leilani took Iwaizumi’s hand to examine his knuckles and the man used all of his willpower not to rip his hand away. She met his unwilling eye with a frown.

“What’d you do, Iwa?”

“I’m not totally sure,” he mumbled, not looking at Hinata despite how much he wanted to.

_ “You mean you don’t even remember?”  _ Bokuto shouted, tugging at his hair.

“Uh, no?”

He finally did look at Hinata, who also watched Bokuto confusedly. 

“Dude! You were a one man army! You fought, like,  _ half  _ of my team!” Bokuto shouted in his face with his hands on his shoulders.

_ “What?”  _ Iwaizumi’s stomach dropped. “Why? Who? When? What? Why? Who? How much trouble am I in?”

“You guys should actually eat something,” Kuroo said, rubbing Kozue’s shoulders.

Iwaizumi cringed as he looked at her. He didn’t  _ like  _ to use the word ‘vibes’, but she had bad ones. He just got a gross, sticky feeling from her. He nodded at Kuroo and sat with Hinata as  _ authentic  _ Italian was placed before them, just as Akaashi promised when they met.

“Did  _ you  _ cook this, Akaashi?” Iwaizumi teased.

Akaashi didn’t turn away from the window as he shook his head, “No. I told you Bokuto’s the cook.”

Iwaizumi frowned at his tone. Was he  _ angry?  _ He didn’t have long to consider it before Bokuto sat very closely beside him.

“Anyways,” he beamed. “Basically, they were being dicks to Akaashi, like normal, and you told them to shut the fuck up and  _ apologize!  _ They refused and you guys fought! They kicked your ass, but you held your own! It was four on one and you’re pretty short! It was so,  _ so  _ COOL, dude!”

“Oh,  _ god,”  _ Iwaizumi frowned. “I’m definitely fired.”

“No!” Bokuto beamed larger. “I never fought them because I’d get benched! So, we’ve been building up a legal case about harassment so I can get out of my contact sooner! But they swung first! You were acting totally in self defense! This is  _ so  _ good for us! Right, Akaashi?”

They all looked at the brunette as he grabbed his water from the counter and shrugged as he left the room. Iwaizumi frowned deeper before looking inquisitively at Bokuto.

“I’m not sure,” Bokuto also frowned after him. “I keep asking and he just says nothing and changes the subject. He’s definitely mad, though. I really don’t have an answer.”

“So, I’m not being sued?”

“Nah, you’re not in the wrong!” Bokuto beamed. “Thanks for protecting my baby when I couldn’t.”

“Uh, sure. What… were they saying exactly?”

Bokuto pulled away with a frown as he tapped at the table with his fingers. He lowered his voice so the other people in the room couldn’t hear.

“They, uh… Basically just call him names. Barbie, fag, tranny, the like. Last night they were telling him he looked,” Bokuto seemed to gag a bit, “They said he looked fat. Okay? I just— Do you know  _ how hard  _ it is for me  _ not  _ to pop off each and every time— I—“

Bokuto sighed and covered his mouth. Iwaizumi couldn’t understand how he felt. He knew that personally, his stomach churned with disgust and the anger he felt made his skin warm, but that was Bokuto’s unofficial  _ husband.  _ No, he couldn’t understand how he felt. He  _ did _ understand two things— He was very glad he fought those guys, both for Akaashi and because it meant he did not, in fact, hit Hinata.

He rubbed into Hinata’s back and smiled as he leaned into the touch. He loved Hinata more than he thought possible for himself. The idea that he could’ve done anything to ruin it terrified him to the core. He didn’t think he was capable of  _ hitting  _ him, but when you had all the evidence pointing that way… Well. He was just  _ very  _ happy he didn’t. 

“You guys going back to hickville today?” Kuroo asked.

“Uh,” Iwaizumi checked the time again. It was just after two in the afternoon. “If we left  _ now  _ we wouldn’t get there until, like, six.”

“We need to go, though!” Hinata said.

“We could just go tomorrow,” Iwaizumi said.

“But we’re going to Karasuno tomorrow,” Hinata countered.

“What time?”

“Evening practice. Probably around four or five.”

“We can leave in the morning and go straight there.”

“I guess.”

“Don’t worry, baby, we have  _ two  _ full weeks in Miyagi. We can get all our stuff done.”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled. “And we get to see all our Tokyo friends for a bit longer.”

“Is that okay, Kuroo?”

“Sure,” Kuroo shrugged. “You guys are going to have to spread out, though. We can’t house nearly twenty people overnight unless some of you plan on sleeping on the floor again.”

“I can take four or five,” Kenma said. “I have two guest rooms and a couch.”

“Wow,” Hinata said. “You bought a house, too, Kenma?”

“Yeah,” Kenma fidgeted with their fingers. “Suna and I just moved in.”

“Oh, my goodness!” Hinata jumped up. “That’s so awesome!”

“Yeah, awesome,” Kuroo said. “Congratulations.”

“You didn’t know?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brow.

“We didn’t tell anyone. Suna wanted to surprise everyone, but that’s silly. It’s relevant, so I think he’ll forgive me for telling you.”

“Actually, all of us aren’t staying,” Hinata said, counting on his fingers. “There’s seven… Iwa… Leilani… I’m not sure. Like, twelve just to play it safe?”

“Okay, who’s staying here?” Kuroo asked. “We can take seven.”

“Wow, that’s a lot,” Hinata gaped. “Um, I kind of want to stay with Kenma. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“So, you and Iwaizumi. Who else?” Kenma asked.

“We’re getting a hotel,” Ryan pointed between himself and Oikawa.

“Okay, well, I want to stay with Hinata,” Cole said.

“Count me in for Iwa,” Leilani quipped.

“Oh,” Cole said awkwardly. “I’ll stay here.”

“I’m with Cole,” Toby spoke over the awkward look Leilani gave.

“So, we have Toby and Cole,” Kuroo said. “Who else?”

“I don’t care where I go,” Jackson smiled. “Just grateful I don’t have to spend a fortune on a hotel for any extra nights. My wife would  _ kill me.” _

“You’re  _ married?”  _ Toby balked, looking for a ring.

Jackson held his hand up and laughed, “I guess I only really see you guys when I can’t wear it, huh?”

“No way!” Ryan bounced in his seat, faltering when Iwaizumi glared at him for moving his knee. “That’s so awesome! We need to celebrate! Late bachelor party in Japan!”

“I got married when I was nineteen, Ryan,” Jackson laughed.

“So? I said  _ late  _ bachelor party! I’ve never been to one before!  _ Please?” _

“How about you get married and have your own?” Cole rolled his eyes. 

“How about you get a girlfriend for the first time before you tell me to get married,” Ryan narrowed his eyes at him.

“I have too had a girlfriend,” Cole glared. “Besides, I bet I got laid more than you did while we were here.”

Ryan sat back with a smug smile, “Actually, I’ll have you know—“

_ “NO!”  _ Iwaizumi, Cole and Toby shouted at the same time.

“I’m sorry I said anything.”

“Right,” Kuroo drawled. “Just let us know, then.”

“Okay,” Cole smiled at him.

Iwaizumi and Hinata finished eating. When Hinata was done, Iwaizumi slid what was left on his plate to him. He didn’t know any other better way to show love than by sharing food. Hinata smiled at him.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“No, not really,” Iwaizumi lied.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Take another bite first.”

Iwaizumi frowned at him but opened his mouth when Hinata placed a heaping amount of food into his mouth. Iwaizumi blushed as he chewed and when he was done he turned back to Bokuto. Akaashi’s strange behavior was heavy on his mind.

“How do you know he’s  _ angry?” _

“Okay, he might not be  _ angry,”  _ Bokuto sighed. “He might just be uncomfortable. I don’t know. Just ask him.”

“That’s… a good idea,” Iwaizumi said as he stood.

He ruffled Hinata’s hair before walking away. He wandered back through the house, checking for him. He ended up finding him after a good fifteen minutes of looking, in the backyard. He was doing yoga on a blanket out on the grass. The longer he walked, the worse the pain seemed to get. He sat heavily on the grass in front of Akaashi who never acknowledged him.

“Spill.”

“Excuse me?” At least he looked at him, even if it was a half scowl.

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not  _ mad  _ at you.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Akaashi sighed as he moved down, one leg bent under his torso with the other far behind him. He shook his head as he stretched.

“Were you  _ really  _ that drunk, Iwaizumi?”

“It seems that way.”

“It just isn’t a good idea for us to talk anymore.”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, “What? Why?”

“It isn’t fair to Shōyō.”

“I— What? What are you talking about? What happened?” Iwaizumi’s heart pounded.

“Nothing  _ happened,”  _ Akaashi said harshly and he gave up and just sat down.

“Then? Listen, can you please stop being…” Iwaizumi frowned and rolled his eyes as English eluded him. «Cryptic?»

“Fine. After you fought Bokuto-san’s teammates, I helped you clean your wounds. You commented on how you got blood on my shirt and offered to repay me. I told you that you wouldn’t be able to afford to repay me. You said, yeah, that’s true because weddings are “fucking expensive”, but Hinata was worth anything,  _ including  _ not talking to me anymore. I asked what you meant by that, and you told me that he doesn’t like me around you.”

Iwaizumi flinched, “Yikes.”

“It really doesn’t matter. Okay?” Akaashi turned away and stretched half heartedly again. 

Iwaizumi watched him as he moved, not saying anything for a long moment. He narrowed his eyes at him.

“No.”

“What?” Akaashi snapped his head up.

“This sounds crazy, okay? I already know it and I’m sorry, but I know you better than that. You’re not okay with it and it does matter to you. It matters to me too,” Iwaizumi stood and looked down at him as he spoke. “You need to stop running from people when you feel them pull away. How many times do you need to learn the same lesson?”

Akaashi blinked at him before frowning deeply. Iwaizumi knew it was harsh. He knew it was hypocritical. He knew it may be wrong. He didn’t care, though.

“You did it with Bokuto, and now you’re doing it with me. If you just chose to speak openly, it wouldn’t have to end. How long are you going to avoid being happy by avoiding confrontation, Akaashi?”

“You know what?” Akaashi stood, walking dangerously up to him, but Iwaizumi didn’t step down. “Who do you think you are?”

“I’m someone who genuinely wants the best for you, Akaashi-san. Even if it means telling you things you don’t want to hear.”

Akaashi’s momentum faltered as he considered the other man.

“You told me you don’t think you’re ever going to marry Bokuto because you “don’t talk about that kind of thing”, but don’t you  _ want  _ to marry him? Why rob yourself of that? Just to save yourself from one conversation? Why not take a risk? Especially with Bokuto. That’s the slightest risk you’d ever have to take.”

Iwaizumi became angrier the longer he talked for. He wasn’t sure why, but he also couldn’t stop it.

“It’s  _ stupid,  _ Akaashi, I know that, but— I just feel like I’ve known you forever. I was being drunk and stupid last night and I’m  _ sorry.  _ Okay? I really am.” He paused, feeling dumb. “But, I understand if you really do think it’s better if we aren’t friends. I respect you and whatever you choose.”

He started walking away, feeling horrible. He was too mean. He was too honest. He looked stupid, and Akaashi was judging him. Of course he didn’t want to be friends. What kind of friend talked to another friend like that? A bad one. Maybe it  _ was  _ better if they didn’t talk anymore.

“Then, why does Shōyō not like when we talk?”

Iwaizumi turned back and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “He’s jealous.”

_ “Why?  _ Why doesn’t he trust me? We’ve been friends for years and that really hurts.”

“It hurts me, too. I don’t know how else to explain to him that I’d never do something like that to him. I realized it’d be a problem when he was jealous of  _ Goshiki.” _

“Who’s Goshiki?”

“He used to play for Shiratorizawa.”

“Oh,” Akaashi frowned. “I feel like it’s unlike Shōyō-san to be so jealous.”

“Yeah, well,” Iwaizumi scruffed his sock against the concrete patio. “We’ve all changed a bit since high school, haven’t we?”

“It’d be worrying if we hadn’t, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi nodded. “And if it’s any consolation, he said he took it back. I see no reason for our friendship to end before it even started.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me, too. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

“It’s true, though. I lost Bokuto because we didn’t talk about things and now we’re doing the same thing again.”

“It’s a shame.”

Akaashi wrapped his arms around himself, “You know… I felt the same way. About knowing you forever. It’s like something just clicked. And that doesn’t happen very often. Maybe I can talk to Shōyō-san.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I think he's okay now.”

“Okay.”

Iwaizumi held his arms open to Akaashi and the taller man took him up on the offer. He rested his head on Akaashi’s chest while he squeezed him tightly. He smelled like the ocean. 

“You’re short,” Akaashi laughed. “Perfect for Shō-san.”

Iwaizumi pulled away with a scowl, “Sorry that we can’t all be tall! And I am definitely  _ above average!” _

“I wonder just how many times you’ve had to say that in your life,” Akaashi teased with a snicker.

Iwaizumi balked at him, “You put up this whole nice boy front but you’re truly  _ evil.” _

“Thank you!” Akaashi smiled sweetly, eliciting a large, ugly laugh from Iwaizumi.

“Hajime!” Hinata called from behind them as he ran over. “We’re going to leave soon!”

“Oh, okay,” Iwaizumi let go of Akaashi and took him in around his waist, “Will we be seeing you again before the wedding?”

“Yeah, Bokuto and I are going to Kenma’s tonight, too. Not to stay but it's the arrangement we had to make when the  _ break up  _ happened.”

“Is it that bad?” Hinata frowned. “Kuroo and Kenma seem fine with each other.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s  _ Suna  _ that’s the problem,” Akaashi shrugged. “Kuroo says he hates Suna because Suna hates him, but we all know it’s because he’s with Kenma and he wishes it was him. And Suna hates Kuroo because of that wish.”

“Damn,” Iwaizumi frowned. “Sounds messy.”

“Very,” Hinata agreed. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you later, guys,” Akaashi waved slightly as he moved back to his blanket.

Kenma took the lot of them shopping before heading back to their house. Cole and Toby ended up choosing to come with them and Leilani stayed with Kuroo and Kozue. Hinata gaped at the large, modern house. Just how much did Kenma make from Youtube, exactly? They hung back as they unlocked the door and led them inside. They were nearly immediately greeted by the sight of Suna carrying two boxes of beer. He paused then furrowed his brow at Kenma.

«What’s going on? I thought you were out tonight.»

«Oh, they ended up needing to stay another night.»

Suna put the boxes down and looked at them, «I’m having people over.»

«There’s enough room,» Kenma said as they moved further into the hall. «Who’s coming?»

«Bokuto and the twins.»

«The twins?» Kenma frowned. «Osamu?»

«Uh, yeah. I didn’t think you’d be here.»

Kenma stayed silent as they put the groceries away and the rest of the company stood and watched awkwardly, either because they couldn’t understand what they were saying or because they  _ could  _ understand.

«We’re going to be playing poker,» Suna leaned on the counter next to them.

«Fun.»

«Yeah, so, we’ll be downstairs and you guys can do what you do up here.»

«Why can’t we play with you guys?» Kenma raised an eyebrow at him.

«Oh, you can. I just didn’t think you’d want to.»

«I do.»

«How’s Kuroo?» Suna stared down at them and they turned their head away. 

«Good.»

«Okay, cool,» Suna walked away and picked up his boxes again. «See you soon.»

Iwaizumi and Hinata shared a look. Cole tapped on Iwaizumi’s shoulder and he turned back to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“What’s happening?”

“They’re playing poker tonight. With Bokuto and the Miya twins.”

“Bokuto?” Toby clapped. “I  _ love  _ that guy! I thought he was staying at Kuroo’s?”

“Guess not,” Iwaizumi shrugged.

“Where’s this poker game?”

“Downstairs,” Kenma mumbled.

“Cool,” Toby glared at his broken finger. “Can’t  _ wait  _ to see fucking Osamu Miya.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Kenma muttered.

They all sat in the basement around a table and just cracked their beers open when the doorbell sounded. Suna got up and straightened his jacket before answering it.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto ran heavily down the stairs.

They called their greetings to him as Akaashi slowly strolled down after him, preoccupied on his phone.

Bokuto took the seat next to Iwaizumi while Akaashi went and sat in an armchair across the room, very engrossed with his screen. Hinata leaned over and looked at Bokuto.

“Psst.”

“What’s up?” Bokuto looked at him.

“You look cool.”

“Think so?” Bokuto looked excitedly down to his couture outfit. “Akaashi dressed me!”

«Losers!» Atsumu strolled into the room with his eyes closed and arms out to his sides, «Why not skip the middle and just hand me your money!»

He opened his eyes and frowned, «Wow, more people than I was expecting. Doesn’t matter! Bigger payday!»

«Shut up,» Osamu glared at him. «You’ve never won a game before in your life.»

_ «Osamu,»  _ Atsumu hissed. «They didn’t know that!»

«They should,» Osamu took the chair next to Suna.

Hinata admired just how many people the round table sat. They’d all have to push out if they didn’t want people to see their cards, but it was pretty impressive nonetheless.

Osamu looked to Suna’s other side and noticed Kenma. He frowned, «I thought you were alone tonight.»

«Change of plans,» Suna shrugged.

«Whose deal first?» Bokuto asked once everyone was sat with a beer.

«How about you, Kenma?» Suna handed them the cards.

«Oh,» Kenma took them, surprised. «How do I do this, again?»

«You don’t even know how to play?» Osamu frowned deeper.

«No,» Kenma frowned back.

«It’s okay,» Suna took the cards back and shuffled them. «I’ll show you.»

Iwaizumi leaned on his elbow and Hinata caught his eye. He raised his eyebrow at his fiance.

“Yes?”

“I don’t know how to play,” Hinata whispered.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi leaned back and put his arm around the back of his chair. “We can be a team. We’ll lose less money that way, too.”

“We should do a couple practice runs before we put any money down, then,” Bokuto said. “Just to be fair.”

Suna cocked his head at him, so Bokuto repeated himself in Japanese. Suna nodded and explained how he was dealing to Kenma. Osamu and Atsumu sat back with crossed arms, the former frowning and the latter smirking. Toby glared at Osamu and Cole tapped the table impatiently. Bokuto stared at the cards with a large grin and Akaashi remained on his phone across the room.

They ran through a couple hands, Kenma catching on easily and Hinata giving up all their cards with his face. Iwaizumi bit his cheek as he looked at his fiance, and Hinata sighed and resigned. It was hopeless. There would come a day where he could learn poker— but it wasn’t today.

Iwaizumi kissed him before he moped over and sat beside Akaashi.

“Hi.”

Akaashi took a second before acknowledging him, “Hey. Give up?”

“Yeah.”

“Good idea. It gets competitive.”

They all started on their second beers when Hinata left the table and decided they’d actually start playing. Iwaizumi opened his new bottle as Suna connected to the bluetooth and played some kind of indie music.

“Alright,” Cole sat up straight as they all tossed some money into the middle of the table. “I’ll show you all that I can beat you on  _ and  _ off the court.”

“You won by a fluke,” Bokuto laughed flatly. “No, I’ll show  _ you  _ that you only won fool’s gold.”

“And it begins,” Akaashi heaved.

_ “Mother fucker!”  _ Cole shouted, throwing his cards on the table as Bokuto sneered at him.

After many hands they’d all moved on to harder liquor. Kenma gave up somewhere along the line and joined Hinata and Akaashi as they played on their phones. The rest of the men around the table were tipsy, competitive and  _ loud.  _

«You’re a fucking cheater,» Suna slurred with a laugh.

«I shit you not! I really am just this good!» Bokuto slammed his hand on the table as he laughed.

«Bullshit,» Atsumu glared. «You obviously hid cards up your sleeves.»

«I don’t even have fucking sleeves,» Bokuto wheezed, gesturing to his t-shirt.

“I didn’t even know you could fuckin’ read,” Cole teased.

Iwaizumi laughed hard. The drunker Cole got, the more prominent his southern accent became. His normal voice was as classic American as you could get, so the Texan Twang was  _ hilarious. _

“Oh, shit, guys, shut up!” Cole held his vibrating phone up. “It’s my dad, shut up.”

Bokuto spoke quickly to Suna, who turned the music off and muttered, «Aren’t you an adult?»

Cole answered the video chat and visibly attempted to look sober, “Hi, papa.”

_ “Heya, Obretch! What’re you up to?” _

“Playing poker.”

_ “Oh, fun, fun. Who with?” _

Cole turned the camera around to the table where everyone waved awkwardly to the back of his phone.

_ “Ohh, the other boys, huh?” _

«You know, that voice sounds familiar,» Bokuto whispered to Iwaizumi.

_ “Is that Bokuto? Son, let me talk to Bokuto.” _

Bokuto frowned as Cole sighed and handed him his phone. The spiker squinted at the screen before screeching.

_ “Jacques Heroux?” _

_ «What?» _

The rest of the men scrambled to get behind Bokuto to see if he was right. Cole sunk down into his seat and took a long drink.

_ “Bokuto, my boy! You speak english?” _

“Yessir!”

_ “You. Were. ROBBED, my son. I was so proud of your season!” _

“Oh, my god. Is this really happening?” Bokuto beamed as he ran his hand down his face. 

_ “No shade to the Japan team, but I was really rooting for Italy to get the silver.” _

“No shade to my team, but they deserved to lose.”

Jacques looked taken aback,  _ “What?” _

“They’re bad teammates,” Bokuto’s voice was loud. “They basically all took a turn on my ex-girlfriend years ago then beat the shit out of Iwaizumi. For defending my…” Bokuto frowned, “Friend.”

_ “Iwaizumi…”  _ Jacques thought.  _ “That’s Shōyō’s husband?” _

“Yes, papa,” Cole called.

_ “When’s your contract up?” _

“Uh,” Bokuto blushed. “Seven more years.”

_ “Oh,  _ Bokuto,” Jacques groaned.  _ “That’s nearly your entire career.” _

“I know,” Bokuto frowned further. “We’ve challenged it, hired lawyers, the whole nine yards. We really tried it all.”

_ “Would you like me to talk to the board?” _

“You’d do that?”

_ “Sure. They love me over there.” _

Bokuto pressed his quivering lips together as his eyes glossed with tears, “I can’t stand the idea of spending my entire professional career on that team. I— They’re terrible.”

_ “If I had my dream team, it’d be you, Shōyō, Ryan, obviously Obretch, that Suna Rintarō, and those Miya twins. I’d have Atsumu as a defense man. Never hurts to have more setters on the court.” _

The men who couldn’t understand him perked up when they heard their names, clearly struck in awe at the idea that the man knew who they were.

_ “You’d never lose a day in your life. Skill isn’t everything, son. You need the chemistry, too.” _

“In high school I had the  _ best  _ chemistry with my setter. That made it harder when I had to join a team with people I just don’t vibe with.”

_ “I’ll make some calls, okay?” _

“Thank you so much.”

_ «Come hang out with us!»  _ Atsumu shouted and Osamu slapped him on the head.

«That’s  _ Jacques Heroux.  _ He doesn’t want to come hang out with us!»

_ “What’s that, now?”  _ Jacques asked.

“They want you to come hang out with us,” Bokuto smiled cheekily despite the tears in his eyes.

_ “What? No!”  _ Cole groaned.

_ “My plane leaves in the morning, I don’t see why not. Send me the address, Obretch.” _

Cole rolled his eyes and snatched the phone back, “Fine. See you soon, papa.”

_ “Can’t wait to party with you, my baby boy!” _

Cole hung up with a blush and sent him the address. He sighed and finished his drink.

“Okay, let’s have some fun before my  _ fucking dads  _ show up.”

“Yeah!” Bokuto beamed, catching Akaashi’s eye, who smiled hopefully at him.

They played for a while longer and Cole pounded alcohol back until there was a firm knock at the door. The men looked at each other before throwing their cards down and racing to get to the door first. Iwaizumi stood and moved over to the other group of men, separated from the game. He settled on the floor in front of Hinata, who played with his hair. They listened as the loud group of men slowly made their way back down the stairs. Jacques was in the middle of them all, taller than the rest, and held a wooden box above his head.

“Let’s play!” He laughed.

They all eagerly sat back down, Iwaizumi rejoining after kissing Hinata once again. Jacques pulled out a large bottle of  _ Hennesy  _ and held it up.

“I apologize, but whose home am I in?”

Bokuto pointed to Suna, “Suna Rintarō and Kozume Kenma.”

“Ah,” Jacques chuckled. “Can I bother you for some glasses, son?”

Suna stood, «Kenma, baby, can you help?»

«Uh,» Kenma put their switch down. «Yeah, sure.»

«I’ll come, too.» Hinata hurried to follow.

«Don’t leave me,» Akaashi rushed to stand.

“Is that Akaashi Keiji?” Jacques adjusted his glasses as he stared at Akaashi, who resembled a deer in headlights. “No way!”

The men gaped between their hero and Akaashi. 

“We watch you all the time on the Youtube!” Jacques stood, approaching Akaashi with open arms. “I had no idea you were still with Bokuto! I thought it was a one and done for you guys!”

Akaashi blushed hard, limply hugging him back, “Ah, yeah. We try to be as private as possible.”

“That’s why he called you his friend! Makes sense,” Jacques kept an arm around Akaashi and pointed at Bokuto. “Appreciate what you have, boy. One day it may be gone. This is the real gold, right here.”

They both blushed very hard as the rest of the men shifted uncomfortably. Jacques pulled Akaashi over to the table.

“Why aren’t you playing? Do you know how?”

“Akaashi is the  _ best  _ at poker, I don’t know why he doesn’t play,” Bokuto gushed as Akaashi awkwardly sat on his lap, since there was no other chair for him.

“Oh, my goodness, look at you two! Let’s get a picture. Where’s my phone?” Jacques patted his pockets for his phone.

Cole glanced at Akaashi’s mortified face and quickly leaned into his dad, whispering rapidly in french. Jacques looked back at him.

“Quoi? Pourquoi?”

Cole rolled his eyes, “Tu es gêné.”

Jacques looked offended, "Obrecht, comment avez-vous pu dire ça?”

“Désolé, mais regarde-le,” Cole gestured to Akaashi.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips at the conversation. He wondered if Ryan would’ve been able to translate if he were there. That’d be pretty cool.

“Il pourrait mourir. Arrête, s’il te plaît.”

“Fine, fine,” Jacques waved his hand at him. “Sorry. Anyways, I brought cigars for us to enjoy with our cognac. Takers?”

He opened the wooden box and offered the cigars to the group. They all politely declined, save for Bokuto. Akaashi looked startled as his boyfriend reached out and took the prepared cigar from Jacques and puffed at it. He smiled at Akaashi, who seemed torn between lust and anger.

Suna, Hinata and Kenma returned downstairs and faltered at the sight of two cigars being smoked in their brand new home.

«The walls,» Kenma breathed.

«One night won’t kill them,» Suna said slowly.

Kenma hummed disapprovingly as they placed the glasses on the table. Suna moved to the small, high window and opened it before turning on a fan. He turned to Kenma.

«Can I smoke in here?»

Kenma rolled their eyes, «Why not?»

«Thanks,» Suna pat their ass before moving back to Osamu and Atsumu, offering them each a cigarette and shrugging when they refused.

Iwaizumi blinked at him, «You smoke?»

«When I drink.»

“Son, you sure you don’t want some of this?” Jacques offered his cigar to Cole. “You just won Olympic gold! Celebrate!”

“God, this is so weird,” Cole said, taking the cigar from him and hesitantly puffing on it.

Jacques laughed and clapped before pouring them all a glass of cognac, “You’re clearly no stranger to a cigar.”

They sipped on their drinks and Cole returned the cigar to his father as he dealt the cards out. Jacques looked around the circle.

“Where’s that girl? What’s her name? Alana?”

“Leilani?” Iwaizumi asked.

“That’s the one!” He looked at Cole. “What’s she up to?”

“Why would I know?”

“Aren’t you all into her?”

Cole shrugged and sipped his drink as he looked at his cards, “No, not really.”

Hinata furrowed his brow at him. What happened there? He supposed he was glad, anyway. Cole just kept barking up that tree for absolutely no reason. Leilani was simply never going to go for him.

“Oh,” Jacques said, “Is there anyone else?”

“No,” Cole shrugged again. “It doesn’t really matter.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jacques slapped his back before whispering. “Why not try out a Miya twin? Power couple.”

“I’m not gay, papa,” Cole muttered very quietly. “J’aimerais mourir.”

“Don’t say things like that, Obretch.”

“Says you.”

They made their way through several hands, getting drunker once again, falling into a comfortable rhythm with Jacques there. Hinata gave up on standing and followed Akaashi’s lead and sat on Iwaizumi’s lap, where he was welcomed with a strong arm around his waist. Bokuto continued raking it in, much to everyone’s frustration.

«Okay, I’m out,» Iwaizumi held his hand up as Osamu shuffled the deck. «I can’t afford this anymore.»

«Aw, come on, bitch boy,» Bokuto teased.

«Nah, dude, getting married is fucking  _ expensive,»  _ Iwaizumi laughed.

«You just paid for your own wedding gift,» Suna sneered, gesturing to the money in front of Bokuto.

«Oh,  _ come on,»  _ Bokuto snorted. «You think I’m actually taking this shit from you? I know y’all are broke bitches.»

They all looked between each other, knowing they were all  _ far  _ from poor. Bokuto scrunched his face up as he thought about it.

«Sorry, the silver spoon in my mouth made my words come out wrong. I meant I’m going to donate all of this.»

Akaashi smiled at him before pressing a kiss to his cheek, «Good.»

Kenma’s phone vibrated loudly against the table and they looked down before reaching to grab it, but Suna got to it first and read the caller ID.

«What could Kuroo possibly want at midnight?»

«If you’d let me answer it I can tell you,» Kenma said, snatching it back from him. 

Suna watched them walk back upstairs and sighed heavily, «I fucking hate Kuroo.»

«I couldn’t tell,» Osamu said. «Honestly, can you make it a little bit more obvious?»

«Have you guys  _ seen  _ his girlfriend? What the fuck  _ is  _ that? It’s so creepy,» Suna crossed his arms as he sat back. «Why does no one tell him?»

«Why don’t  _ you  _ tell him?» Bokuto said defensively.

«He doesn’t listen to a fucking word that comes out of—»

«Listen. He knows,» Akaashi cut him off. «Certainly, after what Hinata did.»

«What’d Hinata do?» Suna’s eyes slid over to examine him, seemingly giving him no thought before that moment.

«Hugged her, calling her Kenma and  _ meaning  _ it,» Akaashi said. «I don’t think Kuroo will be able to ignore that.»

Suna howled with laughter, «Oh, my  _ god.» _

They moved along with their game for a bit before Jacques offered his cigar to Iwaizumi. Hinata leaned away from the smoke and squinted against it as it burned his eyes. There was something attractive about seeing Iwaizumi smoke it, but he wasn’t sure why. Smoking was gross. But he looked like such a  _ man.  _ Hinata’s head snapped up as Kenma came back down the stairs and looked around, noticing their chair was taken. Suna looked up at them with a smile.

«Wanna sit? I have a spot for you,» he pat his thigh.

«I’m fine standing,» Kenma said.

Suna shrugged as Kenma positioned themself over his shoulder. Hinata watched all of his friends play as Iwaizumi continued puffing on the cigar. He handed it back to Jacques just as  _ Suna  _ actually won a hand. The circle uproared. They all made fun of Bokuto and cheered for Suna. Things got sticky, though, when Osamu’s hand landed itself on Suna’s thigh.

The two didn’t seem to think much of it at first, but Suna quickly recoiled from the touch when he felt Kenma’s eyes on him. Cole’s phone buzzed loudly, drawing the attention away from the awkward situation unfolding in front of them. Jacques picked up his phone before he could get to it and read the notification out loud.

“Cole, I hope this is your number! From Natsu. Oh, who’s Natsu, Obretch?”

Hinata narrowed his eyes at him, “Natsu, like my  _ sister  _ Natsu?”

Iwaizumi tensed up underneath Hinata and gripped him tighter around the waist. Their english speaking friends all looked between them uncomfortably.

“Uh, yeah. She asked if we could collaborate on a video while we’re here. She said there’s a lot of buzz around my name since I had to fill in for Ryan.”

Jacques held the phone far from his face so he could read the new notification that came in, “I’m looking forward to seeing more of you. I had a great time last night.”

Cole snatched his phone from his hand and spoke rapid, angry french. Hinata bit his lip and glared at him. Iwaizumi sighed largely. He warned him.

_ “Anyways,”  _ Hinata glared harder at Cole before moving on, “I want to play a hand.”

“You do?” Iwaizumi asked.

_ “Yes,”  _ Hinata snapped, snatching the cards from Atsumu and shuffling them.

“Wow, I know that taking Iwaizumi’s money is the same as taking yours, but I’m excited to take it directly from you,” Bokuto teased.

“Sure,” Hinata said as he dealt.

They all examined their cards and went around the circle, most folding. It was only Hinata and Cole. They kept raising the bet until Iwaizumi had to say something.

“Hinata, we don’t—“

“Shh.”

Hinata stared Cole in the face and raised the bet more. Cole finally rolled his eyes and folded. Hinata laughed and threw two garbage cards out on the table. He glared back at Cole before turning and laughing as Bokuto congratulated him.

“So… Mr. Heroux?” Akaashi fiddled with his fingers.

“Yessum?”

“You’ll really talk to the board?”

Jacques smiled, “Absolutely. I can’t make any promises, of course, but I’ll do all I can for you sweet kids. I’ve been watching Bokuto here since he was in high school.”

“Really?” Bokuto squeaked.

“Yes, you were in the top five of your country. Our family tended to vacation in Japan. Such a polite, beautiful country. What’s that one red team you played against?”

“Red team?” Akaashi asked.

“Nekoma,” Cole muttered.

“Nekoma!” Jacques clapped.

“Obretch all but fell in love with that little libero. He plays for Japan now,” he pointed at Osamu. “He  _ is  _ very talented.”

“Yaku Morisuke,” Kenma said. “He’s very good.”

“I really wanted to play him libero on libero,” Cole said.

“Aw, well, we don’t all get what we want!” Hinata smiled sweetly at him, leaning on the table.

“Right…” Cole avoided his eyes.

“Yaku and Lev actually just got married recently,” Kenma said, sitting on Suna’s lap, glancing sideways at Osamu.

_ “Really?”  _ Bokuto squealed. “Oh, my god, I love that! They’re so cute!”

Jacques checked his watch, “Oh, dear. Okay, kiddos. Thank you very much for this, but I need to get back if I want to stay alive.”

He stood and kissed Cole on the head, speaking to him in french. He said his goodbyes and Bokuto and Akaashi followed him to see him out. He brought the cigars but left the cognac behind. Hinata moved into an open chair and continued staring at Cole, who finally broke.

“Nothing happened, Shōyō.”

“Oh, okay!” Hinata still smiled at him.

Iwaizumi was honestly a little terrified of him, a little humored, but mostly he wanted to ravage him. He  _ loved  _ petty Hinata.

«We’re going to head out, too,» Atsumu said as he stood.

Osamu joined him and stretched, «Later.»

«Bye,» Suna waved at them with his free hand on Kenma’s waist. Kenma simply glared after them.

«Goodbye to you, too, Kenma,» Osamu rolled his eyes.

«Let’s go get the rooms ready,» Suna whispered to Kenma, sensing the tension between Cole and Hinata.

Kenma nodded and they went up the stairs.

Iwaizumi watched them go, sensing Hinata gear up to attack.

“She’s my  _ sister,”  _ he snapped as soon as his friends were gone.

“I told you nothing happened. I would ask you first.”

“Okay, cool. My answer is a resounding  _ no.” _

“You didn’t even think about it.”

_ “Are you actually asking?”  _ Hinata scoffed, standing.

Cole crossed his arms, “Yes.”

Iwaizumi gave him props for his bravery, but also said a silent prayer for him.

“Let me tell you something,” Hinata stalked slowly over to him. “If I ever,  _ ever  _ catch you trying to pick up my  _ little sister  _ I will— and I  _ promise—,”  _ He closed his eyes as he gestured very calmly, “I  _ will  _ murder you.”

“Are you really threatening me?” Cole frowned incredulously.

“Yes, yes, I think I am.”

“She’s an adult.”

“Why,” Hinata laughed. “Why would you ask if you're not going to respect my answer?”

“I would’ve respected your answer if you hadn’t threatened me.”

“I wouldn’t have threatened you if I felt you’d be a  _ decent fucking person.” _

“What reason have I ever given you to believe that?”

Hinata kept getting closer to him, but Cole wasn’t moving back, “Do I seriously need to remind you? This entire trip you have been being a bad  _ teammate, friend and generally person.” _

“I’m sorry I wasn’t setting to you, I messed up, but I already apolo—“

_ «Shut up,»  _ Hinata shouted. «I can’t even be around you right now! I’ve had more than enough of you! How is it that Ryan has become favorable to you?»

Cole sighed, not understanding him. Iwaizumi realized that Hinata had a tendency to just forget english words when he surpassed a certain level of anger. It was a good tell, though. He always knew when he’d have to be removed from a situation. He also felt like Cole should’ve looked more afraid. Somewhere along the way, Hinata grabbed onto his chair and was directly in his face, but Cole didn’t even flinch. He probably couldn’t process the idea that Hinata would actually hit him.

Iwaizumi stood and put his hand on his back, “Shōyō, come on. Let’s take a step back.”

Hinata didn’t move. He just stared deeply into Cole’s eyes and Iwaizumi felt genuine fear as he noticed he was trembling.

“Shōyō, come on.”

He gave him a second, but he didn’t make a move. Iwaizumi sighed and went to pull him back, but he didn’t budge. He frowned and pulled harder to no avail.

“What’s your issue, man. Nothing  _ happened.” _

Iwaizumi cursed Cole in his head. Why’d he have to talk? Hinata glared harder, tempting him to finish the sentence.

“Say it. Fucking  _ say it.” _

Cole stooped to his level, and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if he even  _ meant  _ it, but the word still came out of his mouth.

“Yet.”

Hinata finally moved, but it was to shove Cole backwards. He pulled him up and out of the chair by his shirt.

“Jesus fuck,” Iwaizumi said.

He pulled on Hinata as hard as he could, but it was like he wasn’t even there. Nothing more than a mosquito to Hinata. It was in that moment he learned he was not, in fact, stronger than Hinata at all. Not even close.

He used all of his force and weight to pull Hinata away, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to be able to do it.

“Bokuto!” Iwaizumi shouted, voice straining against the force he was using.

He continued trying to pull Hinata away as he shouted at Cole in Japanese. Cole made no effort to fight back at first and that seemed to  _ annoy  _ Hinata, because he suddenly seemed to remember his english vocabulary.

“Leilani rejects you enough and your next move is my  _ sister?  _ Fucking pig man!”

Cole seemed to have enough and began shoving back. Iwaizumi tried getting between them before it came to blows. 

“She’s a grown woman! I’ve literally never even heard you so much as  _ mention  _ her, how much can you really care?”

Iwaizumi noticed Bokuto running down the stairs, but he was just a second late. Hinata cocked his fist and absolutely clobbered Cole right in the nose.

_ “Fuck you! Fuck you!” _

“What the fuck?” Bokuto yelled, ripping Hinata up off the floor.

Iwaizumi looked up and tried catching his breath. He saw Akaashi, Kenma and Suna all halfway down the stairs. Akaashi covered his mouth, Kenma looked appalled and Suna seemed disinterested. Hinata struggled against Bokuto as he screamed at Cole. Cole sat on the floor, soaking his sleeve with blood from his nose.

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but briefly admire Bokuto. He couldn’t even start to stop Hinata, but the guy just came and picked him up like a plushy. He only held onto him with one fucking arm. That was  _ insane.  _

“Come on, Chibi-chan, we’re taking a walk.”

Akaashi, Kenma and Suna all moved far out of the way as Bokuto took Hinata right out of the house. Iwaizumi looked down at Cole.

“I told you I couldn’t make any promises.”

“You went and let him get stronger than you,” Cole groaned as he touched his nose.

“Why’d you have to instigate that?”

“It’s like you didn’t hear what he said to me, too,” Cole glared before thankfully accepting the tissues Akaashi offered him.

Akaashi did a double take and frowned, moving his hands out of the way.

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up, we’re going to the hospital.”

“What?” Cole’s voice turned fearful. “Why?”

“It’s broken.”

“So?”

Akaashi sighed and moved the tissues before holding his hand out to collect the blood.

“It shouldn’t be bleeding this much. Okay? Just… Let’s go.”

Iwaizumi frowned as he watched Kenma give them each new tissues. Cole’s nose was crooked and his face was swollen. Toby reentered the house and Iwaizumi noticed he’d been gone for a long time. He did a double take down the stairs before jumping down all of them at once.

“What happened?”

“Hinata punched me.”

_ “What?” _

“I deserved it.”

“I mean, yeah, Hinata doesn’t just punch people for no reason,” Toby agreed.

“We’re going to the hospital,” Akaashi told him.

“Oh, with you?” Toby leaned away.

Akaashi rolled his eyes largely, “I am wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. I have no piercings in. I swear to  _ god  _ I have a penis  _ and  _ I’m dressing like it!  _ This isn’t our issue right now.” _

“I can just take him,” Toby said.

“Okay,  _ cool,”  _ Akaashi snapped as he backed up. “Save me from the hospital. Thanks.”

Cole groaned loudly as he held down the soaked wad of tissues. Akaashi recoiled and gagged as the blood started dripping down his face.

“Ambulance. Please,” Akaashi said, turning very pale.

Suna hurriedly reached into his pocket and placed the call as Cole went paler and paler.

“Are you a hemophiliac or something?” Akaashi asked, pressing a hand into Iwaizumi’s shoulder to stay steady.

“No,” Cole said.

“So much blood…” Akaashi gagged again, leaning harder into Iwaizumi.

Kenma rushed to get a waste bin and presented it to Akaashi who immediately threw up into it. Iwaizumi closed his eyes. He wasn’t really squeamish, but there were just  _ so  _ many bodily fluids that shouldn’t have been there.

Iwaizumi helped Akaashi sit on the floor as he hugged the bin to his body and cursed as Cole’s new wad soaked through. He removed his sweater and held it to his face. There was finally a knock on the door and two paramedics came in. They looked confused for a moment before they saw how blood soaked the sweater was. They removed Cole from the house and Toby went with them. They muttered a bunch of things Iwaizumi couldn’t make sense of as they left. His head spun. He just prayed Cole would be okay. And that he wouldn’t sue.

He sat beside Akaashi and rubbed his back as he continued vomiting. Occasionally he’d look at his bloody hands and start all over again. Kenma made quick work of cleaning the blood of their new floors with Suna’s help.

_ «Oh, my god,»  _ Akaashi whined. «Kill me.»

Iwaizumi pulled him back and frowned at the tears on his face. He steeled his nerves and looked down into the bin, seeing his vomit was nothing more than bile.  _ That  _ had to hurt.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

Akaashi tensed up, but was too exhausted to pull away.

“I am,” he panted.

“All the proof is in front of me.”

“Don’t. Not right now.”

“Okay.”

Akaashi looked back at his hands and let out a choked sob as his body heaved again. Iwaizumi cringed at the dry hack. His body had nothing left to offer. His head snapped up as he heard the door open again. Boktuo pushed Hinata down the stairs by his upper back. His fiance’s eyes were red and swollen and Bokuto’s were bloodshot as well. Their cheeks were red from how cold the night became. Hinata looked around for Cole and frowned at Akaashi as he heaved.

Bokuto rushed over to him and scooped him in his arms, “Oh,  _ Akaashi.  _ Are you okay?”

«Kill me.»

“Come on, I’ll make it better.”

Akaashi wrapped his arms around his neck as he carried him up the stairs. Hinata looked terribly, terribly guilty.

“Where is he?”

“Hospital,” Iwaizumi said from the floor.

“What?”

“His nose wouldn’t stop bleeding.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Hinata sat across from Iwaizumi, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Not really.”

“You’re right. But it will be.”

Hinata sighed and pressed his face into Iwaizumi’s chest and heaved a large sigh. Iwaizumi rubbed his back.

“I’m so upset.”

“I know, baby.”

“I just… He was right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t have any right to act brotherly now after not doing it for so long.”

“Of course you do. Just because you messed up doesn’t mean you can’t ever fix it?”

Hinata looked up with teary eyes, “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve way more than me, baby.”

Hinata shook his head, “Will he be okay?”

“I’m sure.”

“Think he’s going to sue me?”

“I doubt it.”

“That’s good.”

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Suna approached them.

«Hey, so, uh, we’re going to bed,» he gestured to the stairs. «You can stay up or… you know… not. Up to you.»

«I’m really sorry,» Hinata looked at him.

«Oh, I don’t really care,» Suna shrugged. «I grew up with the Miya twins. This is another Tuesday for me.»

«Is Kenma upset?»

«When  _ isn’t  _ Kenma upset?» Suna laughed. «Later.»

Iwaizumi watched him go, “Charming.”

Hinata picked at his cuticles as he shrugged.

“We should get some sleep. We have to drive tomorrow.”

“What about Cole?” Hinata asked.

“He’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Iwaizumi stood and took Hinata by the hand, leading him up the stairs. He went the direction he assumed the bedrooms would be and noticed Bokuto in the hall, carrying wet rags.

“Oh, hey,” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, before pointing at a door, “Your room is that one.”

“Thanks,” Iwaizumi said, pushing Hinata inside, but keeping his eye on Bokuto as he disappeared again.

He got Hinata into bed and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to go thank Bokuto again.”

Hinata nodded, curling into the blankets, “Thank him for me, too, please.”

Iwaizumi nodded as he patted him on the arm. He turned and left, closing the door behind him. He went to the door he saw Bokuto disappear behind and knocked.

“Hello?” He called.

“Hey, Bokuto. Can we, uh, talk?”

There was shuffling from inside the room before Bokuto pulled the door open just a crack, “What’s up?”

Iwaizumi cocked his head at him. He almost didn’t recognize him with his hair down, “I— Is Akaashi okay?”

Bokuto sighed and looked away before peeking his head out and seeing if they were alone. When he was satisfied, he opened the door and allowed Iwaizumi inside. Once he was in, Bokuto closed the door again.

Iwaizumi moved into the room, watching Akaashi closely as he went. The man was lying curled up in the bed with the covers half on him. He was as white as snow. His lips were blue. Bokuto had taken his sweatsuit off, revealing just how thin he really was. It was worse than in the gym. Noticeably so. He had a damp rag over his face.

Iwaizumi looked at Bokuto, who leaned against a wall with crossed arms. He wasn’t looking back. He was staring sadly at Akaashi.

“What happened?”

Bokuto sighed, “It happens sometimes.”

“What does?”

“He passes out.”

Iwaizumi frowned down at him, zoning in on how he had hair growing over abnormal parts of his body. Jesus.

Bokuto sighed again and sat on the edge of the bed, “I know he’s cold. But he feels so hot. I just… Don’t really know what to do about it anymore. He isn’t the same person.”

Iwaizumi chewed on his cheek, “Has he been diagnosed?”

Bokuto shook his head, “He avoids the doctor like the plague.”

“It seems pretty clear, though.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Bokuto reached out and petted his hair, smiling as he shifted slightly into the touch.

“I’ve tried getting him to quit his job.  _ Vogue  _ isn’t good for him. But he says he wouldn’t have anything to fall back on if YouTube blew up on him again. So, I told him to quit YouTube, because that’s bad for him, too. But then he said that he wouldn’t have anything to lean back on. I told him to lean on me. He said,” Bokuto paused to laugh sarcastically. “He said that didn’t go well for him last time.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “Wow.”

“I can’t blame him, you know.”

They stood in silence for a long moment before Bokuto clicked his tongue.

“I took him to the hospital the first time this happened. He was so mad at me. He was so deficient in so many things. That’s why I cook,” Bokuto looked at him. “I didn’t like doing it and I wasn’t even good at it, but it was what I had to do. It’s just… hard.”

Iwaizumi nodded and placed a hand over Akaashi’s shin. Bokuto’s sharp eyes followed his touch before tearing away to look back at Akaashi’s face.

“I really do love him. I wish he was better. I try and enjoy our time together but it’s just… He could  _ die,  _ man. At almost any time. I don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that. He’s fucking crazy. He’s irrational as hell. He’s angry with me more often than not. But that isn’t who he is. I know he’s still there. I know it. And I miss him.”

Iwaizumi pulled his eyes away from Bokuto as he teared up. It was too painful to watch such a large man mourn his lover that still breathed beside him.

“He came back, but he never really came back. You know? I should’ve never left.”

Bokuto swallowed loudly before sniffling and rubbing at his face.

“I sound so mean. He’s done a lot better since he started medication. But what can you do when you  _ don’t eat?  _ It literally shrinks your brain. I can’t even encourage him to do the things we used to do together. I can’t rightfully encourage him to exercise. I just. What do I do? He doesn’t think he needs help.”

“I’m not sure, Bokuto,” Iwaizumi said softly. “I think at some point you need to ask how much of this you can really shoulder.”

Bokuto stared at him for a moment before shaking his head, “No. I’m never leaving. Not ever again. You know it’s something I think about. Living another life. One where we’re just  _ happy.  _ Or one where we just never met. That’d suck, but at least I wouldn’t know what I was missing. Or even one where  _ I  _ died first. It’s selfish as hell, but I’d way rather be the one that died. I wouldn’t… be able to get on again after Akaashi. And the worst part is that’s the reality I’m facing. I don’t know when the time he won’t wake up is. I wake up through the night every single night in a panic because he’s too  _ cold  _ or too  _ still _ and I check his pulse before going back to sleep.”

Bokuto gave up on trying to save face and allowed the tears to fall as he reached out and demonstrated how he’d feel his pulse either in his neck, on his wrist or in his thigh.

“Like this, see? And he hallucinates, you know. When it gets bad bad. I never really understand what he’s telling me. But it’s horrifying.”

Iwaizumi frowned deeply. That  _ was  _ horrifying. Akaashi seemed so well put together. But if anyone knew the truth… It would be Bokuto.

“Luckily that isn’t often. I tell him I’m going to force him into inpatient treatment. And I really should. I’m just scared. But… After this, I don’t think I have a choice. I’m okay if he hates me for as long as he lives as long as he  _ lives.” _

“That’s a good idea.”

“I’m sorry to dump all of that on you. I just… can’t tell anyone. He’ll be really angry when he knows I told you. But I’m sure you already knew.”

“Yeah, I did.”

Bokuto glanced back down to where Iwaizumi’s hand remained on Akaashi’s shin, “Yeah. I’m sure you did.”

Iwaizumi slowly removed his hand, but kept watching Akaashi. People could have all the misconceptions they wanted— he still cared about Akaashi. After what happened at Kuroo’s party, he was the last one to judge.

“I started going to therapy. I tell Akaashi I’m going to practice, but it’s therapy. I need help. He caught on that I wasn’t actually going to practice and started accusing me of cheating. He wasn’t basing it on anything real, though. He just throws accusations out until one sticks. On the bad weeks, anyways. The good times are really good. The times when he eats. I think my teammates are a trigger for him. I think  _ I’m  _ a trigger for him. This all got so bad after the Carina situation. My teammates always taunt him, saying things like ‘Wow, he dumps a hottie like her for a pig boy like you’ and ‘Wow, Akaashi, looking  _ fat  _ today, what’d you do, eat a crumb?’. That’s why we’ve been building a case. I just— She was the single most  _ huge  _ mistake of my life. I hate her with  _ all of my whole heart.  _ I know it’s evil to want to hit a woman, but if I could have one free one…”

“She caused you both an immeasurable amount of pain.”

“She did.”

Bokuto sat up with heavy eyes as Akaashi began stirring.

“Anyways,” Bokuto said quietly as he blinked up to Iwaizumi, “Cold outside, tonight. Don’t you think?”

A chill tore through Iwaizumi’s core as Bokuto’s eyes landed on him. The casual tone to his voice terrified him. He wasn’t sure why. He wanted to run.

“Uh, yeah.”

Bokuto watched him for a second longer before looking down at Akaashi as he turned over.

“Going to be a cold winter.”

Iwaizumi’s lungs felt like they were turning into lead. The blank look on his face, his casual tone, the  _ nothing  _ behind his eyes. He looked  _ evil.  _ That wasn’t the Bokuto he knew.

“A long one,” Iwaizumi agreed.

“Dark, too.”

Akaashi’s eyes fluttered open and immediately met Bokuto’s. The room felt like it was distorting around Iwaizumi. He wasn’t sure what was happening. Gunmetal blue and soulless gold met each other harshly.

“Welcome back, Akaashi-san.”

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi reached out to him.

Bokuto pulled him up into his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. Iwaizumi watched him closely, every hair on his body standing at attention. Bokuto must’ve sensed him watching because he opened his eyes and slid his gaze over. Iwaizumi recoiled at the slits of his pupils. Snake eyes. Bokuto wasn’t a person he could trust. No, he wasn’t human.

“Iwaizumi,” Bokuto hissed.

Iwaizumi’s heart lurched into his throat as his head swiveled over to him. Akaashi pulled away, his arms and neck elongating. His eyes fell onto Iwaizumi before his irises melted and fell down his cheeks.

Iwaizumi was too terrified to move or to speak. He wanted to run. He wanted to go. He needed to go. He needed to run. He had to scream.

“Did you tell him?” Akaashi’s empty eyes moved to Bokuto.

Bokuto hissed out a laugh, “Yes.”

Iwaizumi blinked heavily as he watched them. Akaashi pulled away and frowned so deeply that his facial features twisted into a classic tragedy then ceased to exist entirely. Bokuto laughed loudly.

Iwaizumi slowly backed away from them as the scene distorted further. Akaashi sobbed loudly as Bokuto laughed. He wasn’t sure which was more disturbing. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed it all to go away. When he opened his eyes, he saw it got so much worse. Akaashi cried blood from where his eyes were supposed to be. Bokuto cackled like a demented hyena at the sight. Iwaizumi reached behind himself for the door knob, but knocked something on the dresser instead.

He froze and stared at them as both of their heads snapped over to him. His body kicked into action all at once. He turned and dashed for the door, reaching for the door knob. His hands were so sweaty he couldn’t turn it. He wanted to cry, scream, thrash. He would break the door down if he had to. He gasped loudly as he was pulled back by his shoulder.

He winced as he opened his eyes and looked up to see Bokuto just looking… normal. He frowned down at Iwaizumi.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

He hesitantly looked at Akaashi, who offered him a small smile.

“Uh.”

“You should get some sleep, Hajime-san. You have to leave in the morning.”

Fear still coursed through his veins as Akaashi stood and walked slowly over to him and Bokuto. He backed further against the door as Akaashi leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you for checking on me. Get some sleep, okay?”

Bokuto looked down at Akaashi before patting Iwaizumi on the arm, “Yeah. Thank you. Go sleep, you’ll get sick.”

“R-right,” Iwaizumi stayed as close to the door as possible as he finally managed to get it open and slipped out into the hall. He needed water.

He walked to the stairs and walked as quietly as he could in case he woke someone else up in his wake. He got to the bottom where he heard Kenma and Suna talking. He listened for a moment to decide if it would be okay to interrupt.

«You were so jealous tonight.»

«Yeah, well, you two were very affectionate. That isn’t part of what I’m okay with.»

«Other than him touching my leg, I don’t see what the problem is.»

«I just didn’t like it. And he doesn’t like me. It feels bad. He clearly likes you more than what your relationship calls for.»

«Why do you get to be friends with Kuroo, then?»

«Because I don’t sleep with Kuro.»

«You  _ have  _ slept with Kuroo.»

«A long time ago...»

«Listen, Kenma. I just think this is crossing the line into something it isn’t.»

«Yeah?»

«That’s fine, but I need you to just tell me things flat out. I can’t chase you around trying to figure out what your exact needs are.»

«I just… I’m confused.»

«Why?»

Iwaizumi sat down. He figured their conversation would be over soon. It had nothing to do with his genuine curiosity about the strange couple.

«Because I’ve never felt physical attraction before.»

«And?»

«And lately… I have. I think. I just don’t understand it.»

«You have?»

«I, uh… Yeah. I know you don’t like when I talk about it, but it’s all I have to compare it to.»

«Go ahead.»

«It’s just that when I was with Kuroo, intimacy was assumed. And that made me feel so terrible because I didn’t  _ want  _ to do those things with him. I was fine holding his hand and being emotionally close, but the idea of...» Kenma lowered their voice, «Sleeping with him just made me feel dirty and wrong. Especially not knowing about asexuality… It just broke me so deeply.»

«I know,» Suna whispered.

«I felt broken because I couldn’t feel those things no matter how hard I tried. But then I met you and you made me understand all these things about myself and so much just clicked into place.»

«I love you.»

«I love you, too,» Kenma paused. «You allow me all the space I need and I think it’s brought us closer. And I think… I want to try really doing this. If you want.»

«I...» Suna sighed. «It isn’t that I don’t… want to… You’re my best friend, but I don’t really… Want to come home and kiss you hello and goodbye every time. You know?»

«No, me neither,» Kenma said. «But… Sex, I mean.»

Suna hummed, «It’s worth a shot, I guess.»

«Yeah?»

«Yeah. Just… Don’t expect, like, flowers and shit. Candles and music and all of that.»

«Ew. Don’t pretend like you’d even know how to be romantic if you had to,» Kenma snorted.

«Excuse you,» Suna laughed. «I’m plenty romantic!»

«You literally identify as someone who’s incapable of romance!» Kenma laughed louder.

«So? I’m capable of great things!»

«I know that already,» Kenma said smugly. «It’s like… an itch. That I’ve just taken care of myself because everyone has always just been  _ gross.  _ But I think it’d be okay if you helped.»

«Wild,» Suna said, turning the sink faucet on. «I’m so special.»

«But if we do that, I need you to not be with Osamu and whoever else you may have.»

Suna hummed, considering them, «Get rid of my roster, huh? I’ll have to think about it, okay?»

«Okay.»

Iwaizumi shook his head. Kenma didn’t even sound offended at that. So weird. He couldn’t imagine living like that. But he supposed everyone was different and there was someone for everyone. He stood to go back upstairs, forgetting about his water. He turned and saw Akaashi standing there, wrapped up in a blanket.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

They stared at each other for a moment before Akaashi held up a pack of cigarettes and gestured to the door. Iwaizumi shrugged and allowed him to pass before following him. He held the door for him and they sat together on the front stair.

Akaashi offered Iwaizumi a cigarette and he took it. Akaashi lit it for him, then went to light his own, but his lighter was dead. He frowned down at it.

Iwaizumi puffed out his smoke before leaning in, “Here.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow before understanding and leaning in, pressing the ends of their cigarettes together. Their eyes met for an instant before they pulled away again and looked up at the sky. Silence ate its way through them.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Iwaizumi didn’t look at him, “No.”

“Why?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I’m not sure,” Akaashi whispered as he looked back up.

“Nothing I can say will be helpful.”

“Oh?” Akaashi watched his smoke float up.

“No. It’ll all be perceived as praise to your ill brain.”

Akaashi glared at him, “And your brain is healthy?”

Iwaizumi laughed as he looked down and ashed his cigarette, “God, no.”

They stayed silent for another moment before Akaashi spoke again.

“Bokuto doesn’t like you.”

“I know.”

Akaashi leaned forward on his knees and looked at Iwaizumi, who finally met his eye again, “It doesn’t bother you?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because people are going to think what they want.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Iwaizumi leaned back on his hand as he stared up and smoked.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Akaashi remarked. “Or you’re just a natural.”

“Eh, I was a disaster in my first year of university. I didn’t know you did. But I’m not surprised.”

“What? Why?”

“Cigarettes curb hunger.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Iwaizumi didn’t glance down when he felt Akaashi’s pinkie cover his. He just squinted at the moon through his smoke.

“Nothing I can say will help,” he repeated.

“No.”

“But I’ll tell you something… I care about you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

Iwaizumi looked back at him, conveying himself through his eyes, “I do, though.”

Akaashi looked away and linked their pinkies together.

“Oh. So you do.”

“One more?” Iwaizumi asked as his cigarette was about to die.

“Sure.”

Akaashi took out a new cigarette and placed it between his lips, holding it between two trembling fingers. Iwaizumi steadied his hands for him as he pressed the end of the new cigarette into his barely lit butt. It took a minute, but they lit it. Only, they didn’t move.

Iwaizumi kept his hands on Akaashi’s and Akaashi maintained their eye contact. Iwaizumi could hear the other man’s heart pounding from where he sat. His finger accidentally fell over his lip as he pulled away.

Iwaizumi shifted where he sat as he made eye contact with the moon once again, “Bokuto is a good man.”

“Yes, he is. Hinata is a great friend.”

“The best.”

They listened to the distant traffic and shared the cigarette for as long as it took to die. Iwaizumi stubbed it out and threw it in the ashtray Suna must’ve placed there. They didn’t go inside. They just sat in the silence of traffic and crickets.

“It’s late,” Akaashi said.

“It is.”

“You should go to sleep.”

“I should.”

Iwaizumi stood and began making his way in before stopping with his hand on the doorknob.

“Hey, Keiji?” He didn’t turn to look at him.

“Yes, Hajime?” Akaashi maintained his eye contact with the sky.

“I think you were right, earlier.”

“About what?”

“I think it’s best if we don’t talk anymore.”

Akaashi smiled, “I couldn’t agree more.”

Iwaizumi smiled down at the doorknob, “Goodnight, Akaashi.”

“Goodnight, Iwaizumi.”

He turned the knob.

“Oh, and Iwaizumi?”

“Yeah?” He still didn’t look at him.

“I won’t be attending your wedding.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m going to rehab.”

“Yeah?”

“Bokuto deserves a good partner. And I don’t want it to be anyone else, so I need to become the person he deserves.”

“Good,” Iwaizumi paused. “We could all get a little better.”

“I wish you a lifetime of happiness,” Akaashi smiled widely at the stars.

“Likewise,” Iwaizumi’s grin widened. “I hope you and Bokuto work it all out. I can’t imagine myself with anyone aside from Hinata. He is everything to me.”

“I understand the sentiment. Bokuto is the love of my life.”

“Of course.”

“Of all of my lifetimes.”

“I don’t believe in another life,” Iwaizumi said. “This one’s the one you have. Spend it with him.”

Akaashi blinked a tear out from his eye, “I plan on it.”

“I love you, stranger.”

“I love you, too. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Likewise.”

Iwaizumi finally got the door open and stepped inside. He felt a strange calm. He felt… Empty. What happened wasn’t right, probably, but he honestly wasn’t sure. All he knew was he wanted to go hold Hinata from that moment until the moment they died.


	22. He’s Come Undone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: This applies to this chapter and the next, I had to split it into two because it was too long to exist as one. Also we’ve reached the climax of this arc, please don’t give up on them i promise itll all work out  
> Graphic depictions of PTSD/Psychosis  
> Graphic depictions of anorexia  
> Suicidal ideation  
> Child neglect/abuse

They awoke the next morning to someone knocking on their door. 

“Shōyō baby, Iwadaddy! We gotta go if we’re going to see your old barn! For every moment I stand here and wait for you, my knee gets weaker! Waaaaake  _ up!” _

Hinata shot up, sending pain through Iwaizumi’s ribs. Iwaizumi peeked his eye open at him as he beamed down. Hinata sprang from the bed and danced around the room. 

_ «Karasuno day!!» _

Hinata rushed around the room, packing things up and getting dressed. Iwaizumi watched him though hooded eyes.

«Come on, Hajime! Get up! It’s  _ Karasuno  _ day.»

«My memories of Karasuno just aren’t as fond as yours,» Iwaizumi flopped back down dramatically.

Hinata laughed and approached him, looking at him upside down, «Come on!»

«For a kiss.»

Hinata snickered and pressed a gross, wet kiss against his lips, «A deal’s a deal! Get up!»

Iwaizumi pushed himself up and dressed in sweatpants and a sweater over his tshirt. They moved around, packing all their things and double, then triple checking to see if they forgot anything. Hinata challenged him to a race to see who could brush their teeth faster, a challenge that Iwaizumi gladly let him win. They brought their bags down the stairs and placed them along with the rest near the door.

“Come eat!” Ryan yelled from the kitchen.

They moved into the kitchen and saw everyone was there already— save for Bokuto and Akaashi. Hinata hesitantly looked at Cole.

“Listen—“

“I’m sorry,” they said at the same time.  _ “You’re  _ sorry?”

They laughed and Cole fiddled with his coffee mug, “I promise I won’t date your sister if you promise to never break my nose again.”

“Deal,” Hinata shook his hand.

_ «Hey, hey, hey!»  _ Bokuto shouted as he entered the room, dragging Akaashi behind him. «Who wants to see something  _ cool?» _

Akaashi rolled his eyes but wore a small smile, «It isn’t really  _ cool  _ cool.»

Bokuto glared at him, «How could you even say that? It’s  _ so  _ cool!»

«I want to see something cool!» Hinata waved his hand around. 

«Hinata  _ always  _ pulls through!» Bokuto laughed. “Okay, check it out.  _ I’m tall right?” _

He pointed at himself as they hesitantly agreed.

He then pointed at Akaashi, “And  _ Akaashi  _ is tall, right?”

They all mumbled their approval of the fact.

“Okay, check  _ this  _ out!”

He bickered with Akaashi for a moment before the shorter man conceded and got onto his back.

“But  _ together  _ we’re an  _ absolute unit.” _

Hinata craned his neck up to see Akaashi’s face, “Wow!”

Ryan and Cole politely applauded and Bokuto bowed, causing Akaashi to scramble to hold on.

«Can I get down now?» Akaashi whispered to him.

«If you must,» Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut as he let him go.

He peeked an eye open to see if Akaashi was still watching him, but Akaashi was busy preparing them coffee.

«Wow, french toast!» Bokuto remarked at Suna’s cooking. «That’s your  _ favorite,  _ Akaashi!»

«It definitely isn’t.»

«But you  _ like  _ it.»

«Who  _ doesn’t  _ like french toast? I don’t want to meet them, if they’re real.»

«So, you’ll have some? What if I also have some?»

«Sure, Bokuto-san. It smells great.»

Bokuto wore a smile similar to that of when he scored a spike. They all sat down to eat and none of them talked at first.

«Next time we see each other, you two will be married,» Kenma muttered.

«Not legally,» Hinata said. «But, yeah! Isn’t it great?»

“Not to be  _ that  _ guy, but you all speak english, so… Can we do that?” Ryan asked, moving his fork in a circle in the air in front of him. 

“Suna doesn’t speak english!” Bokuto pointed at Suna who played on his phone before looking up, confused.

“I don’t think Suna cares about taking to us,” Iwaizumi said.

“I can attest to this,” Kenma nodded. 

“We were talking about the wedding,” Bokuto clarified.

“Yeah, I’m so excited,” Akaashi said. “Everyone will be in one room again.”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow at him. Did he change his mind about everything?

“Maybe we should just have a tournament instead of a wedding,” Hinata laughed. “It’d probably be more fun!”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve kicked your asses,” Bokuto smirked.

“I’m sorry, fourth place, who?” Ryan teased.

“Not  _ you!  _ Everyone else…” Bokuto muttered as he crossed his arms. “Our high school team was so good.”

“Yeah. So good that we beat you,” Kenma said flatly.

“I thought we were  _ friends!”  _ Bokuto shouted incredulously at them. “Where is the love?”

“Where are the facts?” Kenma snickered. 

Akaashi patted Bokuto’s head as he sulked over his breakfast. Hinata snuck a strawberry off of Iwaizumi’s plate, earning himself a smile and a hair ruffle.

Breakfast passed without incident. Suna and Kenma began at the dishes with Cole attempting to help. Iwaizumi caught Bokuto’s eye.

“Hey, dude. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Are you… Will—“ Iwaizumi sighed, not sure what he wanted to ask. 

“You alright, man?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

Hinata leaned forward, “Akaashi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you quickly before we go?”

“Uh, sure,” Akaashi stood and followed Hinata out of the room.

Panic flooded Iwaizumi as he watched them go. Bokuto tapped him on the forearm.

«Can we talk, too?»

Iwaizumi’s heart thumped loudly as he attempted to swallow, «Sure.»

He followed Bokuto to the back yard and stood far away from him as he stretched his thick limbs.

«What’s up?» Iwaizumi attempted to keep his voice even.

«It’s about Akaashi. Probably obviously.»

«Oh?»

«I feel like we’ve gotten to be close enough,» Bokuto faced away from him as he stretched his arms, then rested his fists on his hips. «I need your opinion. I trust you.»

«What about?»

«After what I told you last night… When should I propose?»

«What?»

«I just don’t know.»

«You might want to wait until he gets better.»

Bokuto turned to face him and cocked his head, «Huh?»

«Just… After what you said, I don’t know. Maybe wait?»

«You think so, huh?»

«Yeah? I’m not sure. I don’t see why it’d be a bad idea soon, though, I guess. It isn’t like you’ll be getting married straight away. Besides, he told me he’s going to rehab.»

Iwaizumi didn’t see the harm in telling him that. If Akaashi told  _ him,  _ surely he told Bokuto first. Bokuto pursed his lips at the woods and hummed before beaming. Clearly, he didn’t fully hear him. Neither of them said anything for a long moment.

«Is there anything else?»

«Oh, sorry. That was just really good news… You know, if he actually meant it,» Bokuto didn’t look at him. «Say, Iwaizumi?»

Or maybe he  _ did  _ hear him.

«Yeah?»

«I trust you, but… Should I trust you?»

Iwaizumi studied the back of his head. His heart froze as he turned to look at him. He always thought of Bokuto as a rather dumb individual. Just an airhead. But those sharp eyes told such a different story.

«Of course I can,» he smiled warmly. «You’re Iwaizumi. What am I saying?»

He slammed Iwaizumi hard on the back before walking back inside. Iwaizumi just stared after him. He was such a weird guy. He followed him back inside after a long moment and watched him bicker with Suna.

«Your team wasn’t even  _ good.» _

«What? Better than  _ yours.» _

_ «We  _ didn’t lose to  _ Karasuno.» _

Suna scoffed, «Whatever, dude. You would’ve lost if you were matched up with them, too. You act like you  _ ever  _ won.»

_ «We won lots of things!» _

«Think so?»

«I know so! I was  _ there!» _

Hinata stood awkwardly, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie as Akaashi stared at him. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. He scruffed his sock against the rug in the living room. Akaashi fiddled with his hands behind his back, keeping his body language very open.

«What can I do for you, Shōyō-kun?»

«Uh. This is embarrassing, but… I need to ask.»

Akaashi frowned, «You don’t need to be embarrassed. It’s just me.»

«Right,» Hinata drawled, still avoiding his eyes. «Uh, so obviously you know Iwaizumi and me are getting married… Very soon.»

«Yeah, I’d say I’m aware of that.»

«Yeah! So, um, I was, uh, wondering if you could maybe…»

«I don’t mean to sound rude, but you can just ask? Don’t worry.»

«I was wondering if you could take me shopping before the wedding. I think Iwaizumi is into the whole feminine look thing, and I don’t know how to do that. But,  _ you’re  _ pretty good at that, and… Yeah.»

Akaashi furrowed his brow at him. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, but spoke just as Hinata went to retract his question.

«Really?»

«Uh, you don’t have to—»

«Are you  _ kidding?»  _ Akaashi smiled and took his hands.  _ «Yes,  _ Shōyō-kun! God, I get to go shopping for someone else  _ and  _ leave Kuroo-san’s cursed home for an extra day?»

Hinata smiled back, «Really?»

«There’s no losing! I’m so excited!  _ And  _ you’re going to be open to that world. It’s great, you’ll love it!»

«I will?»

«Yeah! You’ll feel so beautiful! Which is great because everyone should feel beautiful on their wedding day! Even boys.»

Hinata smiled at him, drawn in by his enthusiasm, «Thank you so much.»

«Don’t thank me! You’re doing  _ me  _ a favor as far as I’m concerned. It’s a surprise, right?»

«Right.»

«Okay,» Akaashi smiled as he dropped his hands, «Don’t tell Bokuto, then.»

«How come?»

«He means well, but he’s bad at keeping secrets he finds unimportant. Especially if it’s a surprise gift. He just gets too excited.»

Hinata found comfort in the genuine love behind Akaashi’s eyes as he spoke about Bokuto.

«When will you two get married?»

«I’m thinking about asking, actually,» Akaashi smiled shyly down to his fingers. «I think he’s just too shy to ask. But if I ask, I don’t think he’ll say no.»

«Me neither.»

They both smiled at their feet before Akaashi hugged him, «It’s been great seeing you again. I miss my Japanese friends over there.»

«I hear you,» Hinata muttered into his chest.

«You guys better head out. I’ll message you about shopping.»

«Right!» Hinata pulled away, beaming. «Thanks so much!»

«No, thank you!»

Hinata bounced back into the kitchen and draped himself around Iwaizumi. The latter checked his watch and nodded.

«Time to go, then.»

«Yep!»

They said goodbye to their friends, sharing hugs and sweet sentiments before stepping out into the humid late morning air.

“So, what’s the plan?” Ryan crutched beside Hinata.

“When’d you get here?”

“Really early!” Ryan leaned in and glared at Hinata.  _ “Someone  _ said we’d be leaving much earlier than we actually did.”

“Oh,” Hinata laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. Nothin’ like fearing for your own wellbeing at about six thirty in the morning because  _ apparently  _ Suna is a swamp creature that simply  _ needs  _ his beauty sleep. Did you know that Rintarō Suna will apparently just  _ die  _ if he’s woken throughout the night?”

“No, but I’ll keep that in mind.” Hinata snickered. “Where’s Oikawa?”

“He has business to take care of,” Ryan shrugged. “He said that he’ll be in Miyagi for awhile before leaving, though. I’m staying with him and his parents.”

They all waited for the bus in silence, yawning and stretching. They rode to the car rental place in relative silence as well. Iwaizumi wished he’d gone to sleep sooner, his eyes felt incredibly heavy. He wanted to sleep for approximately nine years.

They spoke with the clerk and were presented with their keys before moving back out to the parking lot.

“So, who’s going with who?” Hinata yawned.

The men all looked between each other, all knowing how dangerous of a driver Hinata was.

“I’ll go with Iwaizumi,” Ryan said. “Already lost a season on this trip, I’d like to escape with my life.”

“So rude,” Hinata shook his head.

“We’ll go with Iwaizumi, too,” Toby gestured between himself and Cole. “Stupid can’t move his stupid head too much or he’ll explode or summin’.”

“Shuddup,” Cole slammed him in his shoulder. “I’m on so much fuckin’ medication.”

“Joy,” Iwaizumi eyed them up. “Should I meet you at Kuroo’s, then?”

“Nah, I’ll just take everyone else from there,” Hinata dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “You need the head start anyways.”

“Wow.”

Hinata snickered as he unlocked the car doors and put his suitcase in the trunk, “I’m not sorry.”

“Of course not,” Iwaizumi gave him a quick kiss. “See you there.”

“You remember the way, right?”

“Yes.”

«Okay, I love you.»

«I love you, too.»

Iwaizumi watched him get into the car and walked back over to their own SUV. He and Toby packed their bags into it before awkwardly stuffing the crutches in and they all got in— but not before Cole and Ryan fought over who got shotgun.

“I’m taller,” Cole said.

“Cool, I’m crippled.”

“You’re going to milk that as much as you can aren’t you?”

Ryan pushed him away by the forehead, “Begone, thot. My knee demands its privacy. Besides, how are you and Toby going to jerk each other off if you’re separated by an entire seat?”

Iwaizumi and Toby balked at them, knowing it’d come to blows— it always did between them. Their shock only grew as Cole just  _ laughed. _

“You’re disgusting!”

Ryan eyed him up strangely, “How hard did Hinata hit you, exactly?”

“Not hard enough. I still have to look at you.”

“Oh, my god,” Ryan rolled his eyes before shoving him by the shoulder. “Get out of my face, dreg.”

“I am not a dreg.”

“Nonentity, mediocrity, tin god—“

“Oh, my god, shut  _ up.” _

“Can you two just  _ get in the car?”  _ Iwaizumi snapped. “Ryan, get the hell off your leg.”

Ryan stuck his tongue out at Cole as he got in the passenger seat. Cole slid in beside Toby in the backseat and Iwaizumi finally took his spot behind the wheel. It was a relatively long drive, as far as he was concerned, but surely it’d be worse with him being stuck with the absolute worst combination of the teammates.

“Hey, so, Cole,” Ryan said after they went through a drive through for coffee.

“What?”

Ryan turned a bit in his seat, “I heard you hung out with your daddy last night before getting slugged. You’re, like,  _ so cool,  _ dude.”

“Yeah? What’d  _ you  _ do last night?”

Ryan turned forward with a smirk, “Do you  _ really  _ want to know? Because I  _ will  _ tell you. Don’t doubt me.”

“Gross, ew,” Toby scrunched his face up. “Let’s play a game where you two just don’t talk anymore.”

“Why are you always on his side?” Ryan asked. “Like, seriously? You’re the most loyal side character I’ve ever met.”

_ “Side character?”  _ Toby asked incredulously.

“Do you even have your own personality? You’re just an accessory to a  _ different  _ side character that fucking  _ sucks.” _

“I’m not even the antagonist in your stupid little road show?” Cole glared at him.

“Huh? Of course not! Do you not remember me calling you a dreg? You’re not important enough! My story is not one of man versus man! It’s man versus nature, self and  _ time.” _

“Ohh,” Cole nodded, feigning interest. “Tell me more.”

Ryan tapped his chin, “Just one man fighting against himself and time to prove he really is the greatest of all time. But at the height of his conflict, he  _ realizes!”  _ He pushed his hands out in front of himself dramatically, coffee sloshing in his cup. “He can never  _ truly  _ be the best after a  _ surprise—  _ and beautiful, might I add— love interest enters the stage! For his lover is greater than God himself!”

Cole snickered in the backseat and Iwaizumi glanced darkly at Ryan.

“I seriously  _ cannot  _ express with words how much I  _ hate  _ hearing someone talk about Shittykawa that way.”

“That sounds like an iss-you, Iwadaddy.”

“Did your mother drop you on your head as an infant?” Iwaizumi glared at the road.

“That would mean she held me at all,” Ryan sniggered as he elbowed him. “I’m just kidding. My mother’s a great woman. Way more of a woman than  _ Cole  _ will ever be.”

“I’m fine with that.”

Ryan turned aggressively in his seat to glare at Cole, “You  _ shouldn’t  _ be.”

“Wow, it’s like you went to the  _ annoying _ store and stocked up on  _ annoying  _ pills so you can be even more  _ annoying  _ than you ever were before,” the longer Cole spoke, the more pronounced his accent became again. Iwaizumi couldn’t get used to it. He never thought he’d hear an accent like that in real life. It was hilarious.

“Wow, it’s like you went into a third graders desk and stole their list of insults.”

“Wow, it’s like you went into a  _ second  _ graders desk and stole  _ their  _ list of insults.”

“Wow, it’s like—“

_ “Shut. Up. Oh, my god,”  _ Iwaizumi anguished. He looked into the rear view mirror to see how Toby was fairing so silently before noticing he had headphones in. Lucky bastard.

Ryan faced forward again and crossed his arms. Cole looked out the window. The silence lasted all of ten minutes before they started again.

“Why’d Hinata break your nose again? Right. Because you’re an insufferable asshole.”

“You're fixin’ to a broken nose yourself,” Cole leaned forward. “I think it’ll look just  _ great  _ with your knee.”

Ryan imitated a Texan accent, “All hat, no cattle, bucko! I’ll believe it when I see it, y’all! Bless your lil’ heart!”

Cole glared at him before delivering the most hilariously pitiable impression of a Canadian. It was made even worse by not being able to fully push through his own accent.

“Oh, want to talk  _ aboot  _ hockey, eh? Gonna be watchin’ the big ol’ curlin’ game on the television tonight! Gonna grab us some Timmie’s and get in out flannel pants and flannel shirt and our flann—“

Ryan bent in on himself as he laughed. He wheezed out his breathes painfully before shaking his hand, “You win, you win, holy shit.”

“That’s right,” Cole dropped his voice a few octaves, “Bitch.”

“God, how much medication are you  _ on?” _ Ryan asked, laughing back at him. “Because  _ I’m  _ on medication, but I want whatever  _ you  _ have.”

“Percocet,” Cole said.

“Ah, Codeine!” Ryan said, patting his pocket.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, hoping that such a severe medication wouldn’t go so poorly for him.

“Jeez, this is why I call you Iwadaddy,” Ryan looked at him. “I can  _ smell  _ you thinking about me overdosing. Relax, I’m taking them for a couple more days then I’m sucking it up and getting rid of ‘em.”

“Good.”

“Besides, you should be  _ way  _ more worried about ride or die back there,” he gestured to Cole.

“What? Why?” Cole narrowed his eyes at him before immediately regretting it as he felt his stitches pull.

“Mr. Addictive Personality, clings to anything that gives him the slightest iota of pleasure.”

“Why are you even saying that?”

“Dude, you saw Leilani  _ once  _ and still haven’t given up on that.”

“So, you’re basing my  _ entire  _ person on how I reacted to  _ one  _ girl? And I have  _ so  _ given up on that.”

“Yeah? So that  _ wasn’t  _ you sleeping with her at that party?”

“What?” Cole asked.

Iwaizumi glanced at Ryan. Did he see what he saw?

“Wait, that actually wasn't you?” Ryan looked at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was hanging out with Hinata’s sister, remember?” He gestured to his nose.

“Oh,” Ryan faced forward again. “That isn’t as much fun, then. Now I just feel bad.”

“You do?” Iwaizumi gaped.

“Yeah. It’s like laughing at a leggless puppy for not being able to go for walks. It’s just cruel. I thought he’d at least slept with her.”

“I mean, I  _ have  _ slept with her.” Cole ignored his extremely rude introduction.

“You have?” Iwaizumi squinted at him in the mirror.

“Sure. Back in Cali. After Shittyjima rejected her. Then once on this trip, actually. After Shittyjima pulled that new shit with Shitlet.”

“Oh,  _ perfect,”  _ Ryan snickered. “Rebound Cole! The only way you ever score on and off the court!”

“Wrong,” Cole sighed. “Rebounds in volleyball aren’t bad. Also, a point is a point.”

“Is that all she is to you?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know,” Cole looked out the window. “I really thought I liked her, like, a lot. But I feel like this trip’s brought out the worst in everyone. I don’t know anymore. But if she really was sleeping with someone at that party, then, it really just doesn’t matter.”

“I wonder who it was,” Ryan said, looking forward again. “He was big and tall like you— okay not  _ that  _ tall you fucking giant, but almost everyone there was big and tall.”

They fell into awkward silence and listened to the radio. They all sipped on their coffees, save for Cole, who couldn’t handle the heat inside his mouth. Ryan turned to Iwaizumi after noticing Cole and Toby had both fallen asleep.

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“So, I’m sorry if I caused a fight between you and Hinata back at the hotel. With the Akaashi thing.”

“No, it’s all good.”

“I don’t know why Hinata’s so insecure,” Ryan said. “Everyone loves him. I’ve seriously never met a person who  _ didn’t  _ like him. It’s kind of insane.”

“Right? He’s the best,” Iwaizumi agreed.

“That being said…” Ryan drawled, tracing over the lid of his coffee. “If there was anyone to be insecure over, it’d probably be Akaashi Keiji.”

“What?” Iwaizumi glanced at him. “Why?”

“Because everyone loves  _ him,  _ too. Oikawa and I watched some old games last night, because I was curious. He was pretty skilled at volleyball.”

“Yeah? I’ve never seen him play.”

“It was a lot better than his pathetic little display back in the gym. But he also looked human back then. It’s unbelievable that he’s the same person.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Something else that I noticed was that he didn’t wear knee pads. I’m the cockiest bastard out there and even I wear knee pads. All the good that’s done me,” he glared at his knee brace.

“I don’t follow.”

“Wearing knee pads isn’t  _ necessary.  _ But it’s kind of customary in high school leagues. You don’t  _ need  _ them if you use proper form while playing, anyways. And you  _ know  _ my form is flawless, but I’ve always been paranoid of a knee injury,” Ryan laughed wryly. “But I think it just says something about his commitment to practicality. Not wearing knee pads is a promise to be strict and selective about how you move. Or maybe it just said something about the faith he had in his team.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi nodded. “Cool.”

“It was very clear that his strength lied in Bokuto, though. I don’t think he’d be that special on his own.”

“Yeah, they’re really meant for each other.”

“I think it’d be cool to find your other half in your strongest spiker. The one you always toss to because you  _ know  _ they’ll have your back,” Ryan mused. “To really complete each other on  _ and  _ off the court? That sounds so intimate.”

“For sure.”

“Like, knowing I’ll never actually play with Oikawa sucks. I have to settle for playing  _ against  _ him, which causes a whole different slew of problems. As was demonstrated.”

“Oikawa will take you down without regret.”

“I feel the same about him. We’re so perfect for each other.”

“You really are.”

“You really think so?” Ryan beamed at him.

“Sure.”

“Why are you being so short?”

“Huh?”

“Since I brought up Akaashi. You haven’t said much. Mostly just two words.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“See?”

Iwaizumi sighed and glared out at the road. He couldn’t be totally honest with Ryan. He was a gossip, and  _ apparently  _ decently close to his fiance. Even if he wanted to be fully honest, he didn’t know what that would sound like. He, himself, didn’t even know how he felt. All he knew for sure was that he was happy to be getting away from Akaashi fucking Keiji and move on with his life.

“I know something happened,” Ryan muttered.

Iwaizumi gripped the steering wheel tighter, “What?”

“This isn’t how you act. If nothing was up, you would’ve said so.”

“Okay?”

“Did you…  _ actually  _ sleep with him?”

_ “No!”  _ Iwaizumi yelled.

“Then  _ what?” _

Iwaizumi sighed, “I don’t know, okay, Ryan? I don’t know!”

“Don’t know what? It’s pretty easy to know.”

_ “Is it?”  _ Iwaizumi snapped. 

“I think so.”

Iwaizumi groaned before taking a long drink of his coffee, “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, though.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Iwaizumi mocked. “I’m engaged. I'm getting married to the love of my life. That’s what matters. Not whatever I may or may not feel towards Akaashi Keiji.”

“So, there  _ is  _ something there.”

Iwaizumi glared out of the corner of his eye and considered punching him right in the fucking face.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does, actually. If you’re going to be in love with Akaashi, then you shouldn’t be with Hinata.”

“I am  _ not  _ in  _ love  _ with him.”

“Like, crush, pine, synonyms, whatever. It still isn’t fair. Emotional cheating is a thing.”

“I’m not talking to him anymore,” Iwaizumi muttered.

“No?”

“No. Hinata is much more important than him.”

“That’s good,” Ryan looked out the window.

“It’s just. I don’t know,” Iwaizumi frowned. “I felt like he could really see me, you know?”

Ryan frowned and looked back at him, “And Hinata doesn’t?”

“Not in the same way. It takes a lot of work with Hinata, whereas Akaashi just understands.”

“Oh.”

They stayed quiet for a moment before Ryan sighed heavily.

“I know I sound biased because Hinata’s my best friend, which is sad, I know, but… Wouldn’t you want the person that has to work to understand you?”

“What? And it isn’t a choice I’m making. I’ve already decided. I didn’t even have to think about it.”

“Okay, but,” Ryan looked out of his window. “It’s just, if Hinata’s willing to put in that work to really understand you, then wouldn’t that connection be more special? Because, sure, anyone can work to understand something, but how often do people really… do that?”

Iwaizumi glanced at him before settling back on the road, “That’s true.”

“Tōru… Oikawa. We  _ literally cannot  _ understand each other. But we’re putting the work in. I understand the baseline connection where you just  _ understand  _ someone, and it’s incredible. I always knew we had that. From the moment I saw his flat ass out on that court in Sendai. But when we started putting the work in… That’s when it became undeniable. You know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, you’re really not going to talk to Akaashi anymore?”

“No.”

“Okay. I won’t tell Hinata, then.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Yeah.”

They continued on in silence, with Ryan texting away on his phone and Iwaizumi feeling like a shit person. They were nearly in Karasuno’s town by the time Cole started stirring again.

Ryan checked over his shoulder before snickering, “Aw, the baby got his beauty sleep. It didn’t help. Close your eyes again.”

“Oh, my god,” Cole yawned, winced, then stretched his arms out, “Your face is so  _ not  _ what I want to see when I wake up.”

“Next time I won’t look at you,” Ryan agreed. “You don’t deserve to look at my beautiful visage and  _ I  _ certainly don’t deserve to look at  _ your… _ face.”

“Good one,” Cole groaned as he sipped his cold coffee. “I kinda hate Hinata.”

“He kinda hates you too,” Ryan quipped. “Who can blame him?”

“You want to fuck me so bad it’s embarrassing,” Cole glared.

Ryan laughed heartily, “Certainly, there is no thought worse than that of  _ your  _ stinky bratwurst.”

“You say as you sleep with Oikawa,” Iwaizumi muttered, getting a sharp glare from Ryan.

“We don’t  _ sleep  _ together. We make beautiful  _ love.” _

“Jesus Christ,” Iwaizumi stepped on the gas, more than done with being stuck in that vehicle. 

“Besides, Oikawa’s pe—“

_ “Shut up. Shut up. Oh, my god, SHUT UP!”  _ Cole covered his ears.

“Whatever,” Ryan muttered.

They all jumped as they heard a horn sound beside them and quickly looked with hammering hearts to see Hinata racing beside them. Iwaizumi’s heart faltered as he saw Jackson gripping the holy shit handle and Leilani gripping her mouth.

“Jesus, Hinata.”

“That’s why we chose you,” Cole said. “RIP them, though.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and looked forward again, willing themselves to just arrive at Karasuno. He was reaching his limit.

When they  _ did  _ arrive, they parked down the hill from the school as Hinata wanted to give them a walking tour. The large group of them followed behind the excited spiker as he bounced around and ran from spot to spot. He pointed at a field before spinning around in the grass.

“Kageyama and I practiced here when we were banned from the gym!” Hinata laughed, patting a tree. “We got a ball stuck up here once! It was so hard to get it out! We had to use a stick and everything! We hated each other back then!”

Cole approached the tree and easily reached his hand up into the branches, “A stick? Really?”

“We weren’t  _ human giraffes,”  _ Hinata scowled, but then laughed.

He ran ahead, the rest attempting to keep up, but none even close to as excited as Hinata was when Ryan faltered and groaned. Cole turned and looked at him.

“Here, get on my back.”

“Ew, no,” Ryan recoiled.

“Yes, get the fuck off your leg, idiot.”

“You’re  _ not carrying me.” _

“Well, no one  _ else  _ can carry your fat ass.”

_ “What? I’m—“ _

“Get the fuck on my back or I’ll take the choice away by breaking your  _ other  _ knee. Capiche?”

Ryan glared at him before thrusting his crutches into Iwaizumi’s hands. Cole awkwardly bent over and Ryan struggled to get onto his back. Iwaizumi and the rest of the team averted their gazes from the painfully awkward scene. Once they were ready, they followed after Hinata again. 

The little spiker twirled around in a small space between a couple of buildings.

“This is where Suga started teaching me how to receive a ball!”

“Excuse me?” Ryan leaned forward. “You couldn’t even  _ receive a ball in high school?” _

Hinata laughed loudly, “Nope!”

They looked to Iwaizumi for confirmation, and he nodded. 

“Yeah. No offense, Hinata, but you were hot garbage back then.”

“None taken, because I’m pretty good now! Right?”

“I think your gold medal says enough,” Iwaizumi patted him on the back.

Hinata smiled warmly up at him, melting Iwaizumis heart for the second billionth time since they got together. The shorter man perked up and ran off again, the rest following behind. He pointed at a vending machine just around the corner, “Kageyama  _ always  _ got milk here. Every single day! What a freak!”

They laughed lightly and followed him across the school grounds until they came to another alleyway between two buildings— and one was actually a gym.

“This is it, guys!” Hinata gestured broadly to the gym. “This is where it all happened!”

Cole and Ryan gaped up at the small, barn shaped gym before sharing a look Iwaizumi couldn’t identify. Hinata was chatting animatedly about the building when a man emerged from within that Iwaizumi immediately recognized to be Karasuno’s coach.

Hinata was still facing away from the gym, expressing himself through his hands, “Yeah! And back in our  _ first  _ year, Yamaguchi couldn’t really do jump—“

«Little red? That really you?»

Hinata slowly turned back, «Coach Ukai? You’re still here?»

Ukai put his hands on his hips and shut his eyes as he smiled to the ground, «What can I say? You guys changed me.»

Hinata’s face crumbled as he ran and embraced the man. Iwaizumi watched from a distance as they held each other.

«I’ve watched everything you’ve done on TV.»

Hinata cried happily into his chest, «I wouldn’t have been anything without you.»

Ukai squeezed him tightly, «I’m so proud of you, Hinata.»

Hinata sighed and pulled away as he attempted to get a grasp on himself, «Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be home again.»

Ukai smirked, «You’re late. That’s so unlike you.»

«Late?»

«Kageyama is already here. I can’t believe you let him beat you!»

_ «What?» _

«Get on in there!» Ukai shouted. «We have work to do!»

«Sir!» Hinata yelled before bowing and laughing loudly.

They watched Hinata run into the gym and started to follow when they noticed Ukai wasn’t moving. The coach stood awkwardly before Iwaizumi and rubbed his neck as he looked away.

«You’re really still together, huh?»

«Yes, sir.»

«He doin’ okay? You know… At home in California and all that?»

«Of course,» Iwaizumi smiled. «We have a beautiful life over there.»

«Good, good...» Ukai scruffed his toe across the dirt ground. «I worry about him sometimes. Hard to believe he isn’t a little kid anymore.»

Iwaizumi laughed, «Yeah, I know. But honestly, the way he acts sometimes you wouldn't even know it!»

Ukai finally smiled at him and shook his hand, «A literal marriage of Seijoh and Karasuno. Never thought I’d see the day.»

Iwaizumi smiled widely before looking down, clasping his hand firmly, «With all due respect, Coach, we’re team USA now.»

Ukai laughed, «That so? No longer entrapped by teal and orange, huh?»

«No, sir. Please, let me introduce you to the boys.»

«Sure.»

Iwaizumi dropped his hand and turned to the team, «Okay, this is Ryan, our setter. Cole, our libero. Jackson, Toby, Noah and Rob. Then, this is our other athletic trainer, Leilani.»

Ukai nodded and shook all their hands individually.

“Everyone, this is coach…”

He glanced at Ukai, not remembering his name and hoped he’d fill in the blank.

«Ukai Keishin.»

“Coach Ukai.”

They all smiled, waved and shouted introductions and greetings. He smiled back and turned, waving them into the gym.

«C’mon, they’re waiting for this world class lesson.»

They all followed along, Cole visibly beginning to struggle to support Ryan’s weight. Iwaizumi patted Ryan’s back as they passed and hesitantly pushed past the netting in the doorway to the gym. He looked around, seeing Hinata chatting eagerly with the high school students who sat politely and listened. Kageyama stood beside him in practice clothes and Kunimi leaned against the wall, disinterested. He perked up when he saw Iwaizumi and quickly made his way over.

«Thank god you’re here.»

«That bad?»

«You couldn’t pay me to care about this.»

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him before snorting and slapping him across the back, «Come on, it’s not that bad. Relive your glory days a bit.»

«I’m  _ in  _ my glory days right now,» Kunimi muttered.

Cole immediately made his way to a bench and slumped Ryan down onto it before groaning loudly and stretching his back out.

“How much do you  _ weigh?” _

“Two hundred six pounds,” Ryan glared at him.

_ “What? Seriously?” _

“Yes! That isn’t even bad!”

Cole gawked down at him, “Yes it is!”

Ryan struggled to stand on one leg with the aide of the wall,  _ “No, it’s absolutely normal for my height!” _

Cole shook his head, “I’m two inches taller than you  _ and I only weigh eight pounds more.” _

“Why are you body shaming me, asshole? I’m more muscular than you! Hit the fucking weights!”

Cole clenched one fist and pointed to Iwaizumi, “I follow the plan our  _ trainer  _ made for me! Down to the letter! Suck a  _ dick!” _

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and marched over, shoving Ryan’s crutches into his chest, sending him back down. He then rounded on Cole and pointed away.

“Shoo.”

Cole glared at Ryan before starting to back away, but the setter wouldn’t leave it alone.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought!”

_ “Okay!”  _ Cole turned back, “You are  _ so—“ _

Iwaizumi threw his hands up and pushed Cole by his chest,  _ “Damare konoyarou!” _

Cole raised his eyebrows at the profanity he hadn’t heard in a long while and casually turned to walk away again. Ryan snickered behind him and Iwaizumi rounded on him once again.

“Warugaki,” Iwaizumi glared. “You know what that means?”

“No?”

“It means  _ brat.  _ You are a  _ brat.  _ Shut the fuck up.”

_ “Damn  _ Iwadaddy, chill out. You’re scaring the kids.”

Iwaizumi glared at him as he put his hands behind his head and slowly turned to see everyone in the gym watching him with slack jaws. Even Kageyama seemed surprised.

«Sorry?»

Hinata laughed and dismissed them with his hand, «Disasters, all of them.»

Ryan reached out with his good leg and nudged Iwaizumi in the shin, “Hey. I wanna work with the setter. Think you can translate for me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They waited politely for Hinata and Kageyama to be finished talking to the boys, honestly feeling a bit bored.

When it was  _ finally  _ time for them to stand, Ryan got up onto his crutches and Iwaizumi followed him to a tall boy with light hair.

“How do you know that’s the setter?”

“Because he looks the  _ coolest.” _

“Oh, my god.”

The boy simply stared up at them with an intensity that Iwaizumi hadn’t quite seen since his own days in high school. He smiled vaguely before bowing to him. The boy startled a bit before bowing back.

«Are you the setter?»

«Yes, my name is Ozaki Sora.»

«This is Ryan, our setter,» Iwaizumi pointed to him.

The boy nodded and bowed to Ryan, who returned the gesture the best he could from around his crutches.

«I don’t think he should be standing...»

«Yeah, I don’t think I can really stop him...»

«Iwa-chan!»

Iwaizumi turned to the door at the familiar sound of his friend’s voice with a smile. He easily abandoned Ryan and approached Oikawa, weaving through the practicing students and teammates.

«What are you doing here?»

«Kunimi called me earlier. I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to set for you again!»

Iwaizumi beamed, «That sounds so—»

He frowned down at his pocket, where his phone buzzed loudly. He held a finger up to Oikawa and removed it, looking at the caller ID and frowning deeper.

«Oof, who is it?»

«Akaashi.»

«As in Keiji? Why?»

«I am…  _ really  _ unsure. Excuse me.»

Oikawa nodded and got out of the way as Iwaizumi picked the call up and quickly moved outside.

«Hello?»

_ «Hey,»  _ Akaashi snapped.

Iwaizumi continued walking away from the gym and furrowed his brow, «Uh, what’s wr—»

«What the  _ hell  _ is your problem?»

«Excuse me?»

«Why the fu—» Akaashi sighed loudly. «Why would you tell Kōtarō that I’m going to treatment?»

Panic seized Iwaizumi. So he really  _ hadn’t  _ told Bokuto yet. Oops.

«I’m sorry, I assumed you already told him.»

«It would’ve been a  _ wild  _ coincidence if I had considering that wasn’t the plan  _ at all.  _ Where the  _ hell  _ do you get off making shit up about me? You— Seriously, why would you— I don’t even know where to fuc— Ugh.»

Iwaizumi frowned deeply. He was  _ there  _ when Akaashi boldly claimed he wouldn’t be attending the wedding in favor of getting help. Then again, that very morning he claimed how excited he was to go to the wedding. It didn’t make sense.

«You  _ told me  _ that you’re going.»

_ «I really didn’t,»  _ Akaashi laughed harshly.

Iwaizumi frowned, feeling frustrated— he knew what he heard, «Okay, Akaashi-san. I understand you’re upset that I overstepped and told Bokuto something you weren’t ready to—»

«I’m upset that you  _ manufactured  _ that and then  _ lied  _ to my boyfriend.»

«Okay,» Iwaizumi strained, unsure why Akaashi was boldly lying to shift the blame. Anger grew in him at the unjust scenario unfolding before him. «I  _ understand  _ that you’re upset, but you  _ told  _ me that. Why are you fucking gaslighting me right now?»

_ «Gaslighting you? Are you fucking crazy?» _

«Not as crazy as you,» Iwaizumi clenched his jaw. Out of the two of them, the one who was actively pretending he didn’t say something he  _ clearly  _ said was the crazier one. «You’re  _ crazy,  _ man. I know what I heard. Why are you pretending?»

There was only static from the other end of the call before Akaashi  _ screamed  _ at him,  _ «You know what? Fuck you, Iwaizumi Hajime.  _ I was so, so absolutely  _ right  _ when I said we shouldn’t be friends. I can’t  _ believe  _ I let you talk me out of that.»

«You—  _ What?»  _ Iwaizumi laughed. It was  _ his  _ idea to end their friendship in the end. Why was Akaashi neglecting  _ that  _ little detail? «I— You know what? Bokuto was right. You’re insane.»

_ «Excuse me?» _

The anger swelled so harshly in Iwaizumi as he felt stupid, once again, for trusting someone. When would he learn? The bigger problem was that Hinata wasn’t there to cool him down— with good reason. He didn’t  _ deserve  _ Hinata. He didn’t deserve to have his fiance there to rectify a situation he should’ve never been in. He didn’t deserve a fiance at all.

«Get some fucking help, Akaashi.»

Just as the ex-setter was about to retort, Iwaizumi hung up the call. He glared down at his screen as it lit up with Akaashi’s name again. Against his better judgement, he answered it with shaking hands.

«You’re a fucking prick,» Akaashi yelled. «Seriously. Why the hell— You just seriously. You make people  _ trust you  _ then you pull this shit? Do you even  _ realize  _ what you’re doing?»

«Do you realize what  _ you’re  _ doing?» Iwaizumi asked with a dangerously even tone. «You implode the lives of all the people you know. Just because you’re so  _ upset  _ with your own decisions doesn’t mean you can tear everyone else down with you! I was  _ fine  _ before I met you. I was  _ perfectly  _ fine— And then you— You just—»

«I just  _ what,  _ Iwaizumi? How did I ruin your life in  _ two weeks?  _ What did I do that was  _ so  _ bad?»

«You made me care about you. Just like you did to the guy you left in Japan. Just like Bokuto. Then you refuse to take care of yourself and lash out when we  _ care about you.  _ You made me feel like you understood me but you don’t understand anything. You don’t connect to anyone. You don’t feel anything outside of yourself because you just want to drown in your misery. It isn’t  _ okay,  _ Akaashi.»

«I didn’t do  _ any of that.  _ It sounds like you’re projecting. Don’t speak to me about my relationship. You don’t know anything about me. You don’t  _ know me,  _ Iwaizumi.»

«No, no, I really don’t. I don’t think anyone does. You’re just your sickness. You’re not even a person anymore. You’re just a sick body controlled by a sicker brain and you drag everyone else down in your tight clutches. Just let go, Akaashi. Save everyone the pain of caring for you.»

There was a long silence before Akaashi sniffled a sticky inhale in, «Go to hell.»

«Already there. Had to meet you somewhere, didn’t I?»

«You’re so fucking mean,» Akaashi’s voice broke.

«Yeah, guess you know me now. If your limp as fuck brain can even retain that much information anymore. You just don’t remember telling me because all the protein is being sucked from your cells to attempt keeping you alive.»

Iwaizumi wanted to say he felt bad at the sounds of Akaashi crying. He would’ve  _ loved  _ to say that. But the anger that ate away at every thread of his person wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t even see three feet in front of him. He never felt anything like it before. He didn’t even know how he got so attached to the man, and he couldn’t remember why he ever cared about him at all. All he knew was he wanted to hurt him the way he was hurting, too.

«I wish I never met you,» Akaashi whispered.

«Join the club. I’ll let you go, now. I’m sure there’s more lives you need to destroy before you ultimately collapse in on yourself like a dying star.»

«Why are you acting like this? You’re a fucking monster.»

Iwaizumi heard the sound of Bokuto in the background, calling out to Akaashi. The anger he felt thinking about what Akaashi was doing to Bokuto by not seeking out help only doubled his blindness.

«Goodbye, Akaashi Keiji. I’ll be sure to attend your funeral next month since you refuse to take responsibility for yourself. Go gaslight Bokuto now, because I’m done with it.»

_ «Do NOT say his name—»  _ Iwaizumi smirked at the way Akaashi’s voice broke, but then felt the first sign of guilt when he heard Bokuto’s voice rather clearly from the other end of the call. «Keiji, what’s happening? Who is that?»

He held his breath as there was shuffling and static, knowing he would have to face Bokuto’s wrath.

«Who is this?» Bokuto demanded in a very deep voice.

«Hello, Bokuto-san.»

«Iwaizumi?» Bokuto’s voice dripped with confusion. «What… I don’t understand.»

«I don’t have answers.»

«Why is Keiji crying? What’d you do?»

«Something no one else seems capable of doing. I was honest with him.»

«What?»

«Two things about our conversation earlier, while I have you.»

Bokuto said nothing.

«About when you should propose— you shouldn’t. All you’re doing is signing up to break your own heart. And I don’t think you should trust me. I don’t think you should trust him, either. Goodbye, Bokuto-san.»

«No,» Bokuto snapped. «You don’t hang up after something like that. What’d you do?»

«Talk to  _ Keiji.  _ If he’ll even be honest with you.»

«Why are you talking about him l— You know, you’re lucky I don’t kick your ass.»

«Do it. Keep protecting him from everything around him. He’ll keep taking and taking until there’s nothing left to give. He needs to be protected from himself. You’re hurting him just as much as he’s h—»

_ «Shut your goddamn mouth, Iwaizumi. If you knew what was good for you you’d—» _

«I don’t care. Do what you need to do. Goodbye.»

Iwaizumi hung up the call and turned his phone all the way off, no longer feeling angry at all. In fact, he felt nothing. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt anything before at all. He fully snapped, leaving him with nothing left to give, but he supposed Akaashi Keiji had that effect on people. He turned and was confronted with Sugawara Kōshi staring at him.

«Uh, hey,» he said.

«Mr. Refreshing, what’s happening?»

Sugawara shrugged, «We’re all here to see Hinata.»

«Let’s get to it, then.»

Sugawara nodded, concern evident in his eye before they went back into the gym where the rest of the original Karasuno team all hugged and chatted with Hinata and Kageyama.

Iwaizumi smiled vaguely as they reunited and found his way back to Cole. The libero leaned against the wall, kicking at Ryan’s shoe as he played on his phone. Oikawa stood awkwardly in front of them and Kunimi sat against the wall beside Cole on the floor.

“Hey, that was a long phone call,” Cole perked up. “What was it about?”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “Death of a friend.”

“What?” Ryan squinted at him.

“It’s fine. We weren’t that close anyway.”

Ryan and Cole shared a look but otherwise said nothing. Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa.

«We’re here, so let’s do this.»

«Sure thing,» Oikawa smiled and put an arm around his shoulder to lead him away. «Since when do  _ you  _ call the shots, Iwa-chan?»

«When have I not?»

Cole and Ryan watched him go before Ryan hit the libero in the stomach with the back of his hand and gestured for him to lean down. Cole squatted beside him and leaned closely, keeping his eyes forward.

“Is it just me, or has Iwadaddy cracked?” Ryan whispered.

Cole slowly shook his head, “It’s not just you.”

Ryan turned his head and looked deeply into Cole’s eyes, both creeping the libero out and entrancing him with his rare serious stare.

“I don’t think he’s quite right, Horowitz.”

Cole frowned, “Yeah, he’s depressed.”

“It’s more than that… It’s like…” Ryan sighed and looked back. “I’m not sure. Do you ever meet someone and feel like you just can’t figure them out?”

“All the time.”

Ryan frowned as well, “I don’t. Not often, anyway. But I can’t figure him out. It’s like the pieces are constantly shifting with no discernible pattern.”

“Have you considered  _ not  _ studying every person you meet? It’s creepy.”

Ryan glared at him, “I’m just worried about Hinata.”

“Why?”

Ryan shrugged, not willing to say too much more, “I feel like I need to protect him.”

“And you think he needs to be protected from Iwaizumi?” Cole furrowed his brow deeply.

“That’s the thing,” Ryan said softly. “I’m not sure.”

Cole nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Iwaizumi before shifting his gaze over to where Hinata spoke animatedly with his old teammates, eliciting loud laughter from them.

“I see.”

Leilani hopped over to them, “Whatcha talkin’ about?”

Both their heads snapped up to her and Ryan spoke first, “Cole baby’s dump truck of an ass.”

_ “What?”  _ Cole balked, hands instinctively going to his ass. “It is  _ not.” _

“Bend over and give me a better look for a second opinion,” Ryan said flatly, chewing at his thumbnail as he stared forward.

“Weird. It seemed like you two were getting along for a minute there,” Leilani laughed, crossing her arms. “I thought hell froze over.”

“Nah, the world’s still burning,” Ryan said absently.

Leilani hummed flatly and they all turned their attention to the coach, whose instructions meant less than nothing to them.

«Let’s play a game. How about we have our old guys here play against the new guys and old Seijoh? For old time’s sake.»

The boys cheered enthusiastically and all moved to their spots. Iwaizumi looked over at the USA boys.

“Get out here. We need an opposite hitter, two middle blockers and a libero.”

Toby and Cole shared a look from across the gym before smiling and running forward. Rob slapped Jackson’s back.

“You play.”

“Huh? But you’re the middle blocker.”

“I’m also exhausted. Take it, dude.”

“Thanks, dad,” Jackson teased.

Rob smiled before frowning and called after him, “I’m only ten years older than you!”

“And six years older than the oldest guy on our team!” Jackson giggled. “Thanks!”

Ryan frowned, “Just because we’re not all babies!”

Rob crossed his arms and wandered beside Ryan, “You’re still a baby, shut up.”

“Just because you’re a geezer,” Ryan crossed his arms as well.

Oikawa smiled evilly at Kageyama through the net, «Think lil’ old Karasuno can beat an Olympic quality team?»

Kageyama smiled, «You have Kunimi over there. You’re not  _ all  _ powerful.»

Kunimi glared at him, «Shut up.»

«Yes, Tobio-chan. Kunimi and I have a powerful relationship built on  _ history.  _ Good history, unli—»

«Shut up,» Kunimi heaved.

Iwaizumi wiped at his face and smiled at Hinata through the net. They hadn’t  _ really  _ played against each other since university. Watching him play with his old team was throwing him. Hinata wasn’t even sweating despite how much he had to do to compensate for his out of commission teammates.

Karasuno called a timeout, and they spoke with their coach while he explained things to both the players and the current Karasuno lineup.

The other team surrounded Ryan, who acted as their coach since he couldn’t play. They just wanted to do what they could to keep him involved.

He looked up at Oikawa with what Iwaizumi would’ve sworn were actual hearts in place of his pupils, “You’re doing amazing, but the best set for Jackson is high and away from the net.”

Oikawa squinted and turned to Iwaizumi for a translation, which he got. He nodded and smiled back at him. 

«Got it.»

“And take it easy on ‘em. They’re like sad little lizards who were plucked up and placed in a blizzard. Simply out of place.”

“It’s so weird seeing Hinata play middle blocker,” Cole muttered.

“He’s a  _ really  _ talented decoy, though,” Ryan mused. “I’ll have to keep that in mind.”

“He’s really talented at a lot of things,” Iwaizumi agreed.

Their attention was drawn back to the court as the other team finished up with their timeout. Iwaizumi just turned to go back when Ryan spoke.

“Rob, sub Iwadaddy out for me, huh?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, “What?”

“We need to talk.”

Rob smiled and nodded, eagerly running to the court. Iwaizumi frowned and sat where Ryan patted beside him. A strange feeling of prickling panic seeped up his legs as Ryan crossed his arms. It was unlike him to be so silent.

“I got a phone call.”

“Oh?” The panic began freezing his legs.

“Or…ten”

“Yeah?”

Ryan reached into his pocket and handed his phone to Iwaizumi. The spiker took it and felt it’s cool weight in his hand before dragging his eyes from Ryan’s expressionless face and to the screen.

_ ‘Akaashi Keiji - 12 Missed Calls’ _

“Wow, that’s obsessive.”

Ryan hummed flatly before taking the phone back, never looking at Iwaizumi. He unlocked the phone and started playing a voicemail before handing the phone back. Iwaizumi hesitantly pressed it to his ear, doing his best to keep his hand from shaking.

_ “Ryan, uh,”  _ Bokuto’s voice said hesitantly.  _ “I’m really sorry for bothering you so much. I just really need to reach Iwaizumi.”  _ He spat his name out like venom.  _ “So, if you could get back with his location, that’d be cool. I just really need to talk to him. Thanks.” _

Iwaizumi swallowed before handing the phone back.

“Death of a friend, huh?” Ryan breathed, crossing his arms again with his phone clutched tightly in his hand.

“Yep,” Iwaizumi whispered. “The death of a friend.”

“I’m not going to ask,” Ryan whispered, his voice eerily calm. “But you better figure your shit out. Something tells me Bokuto doesn’t  _ ‘just want to talk’.” _

Iwaizumi nodded and stood, “Yeah.”

“And,” Ryan grabbed him by his shirt, drawing Iwaizumi’s attention down to his dangerous eyes. “If it’s what I’m thinking… though, I won't ask… I’ll gladly let Bokuto knock your lights out. Then, I’ll wait for you to recover and when  _ my  _ knee recovers— I’ll find you and do it all over again.”

Iwaizumi chuckled wryly and shook his head, “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

Ryan gripped his shirt until his knuckles went white, searching Iwaizumi’s eyes for any sign of deception. Iwaizumi didn’t back down from his intense gaze until he let go.

Ryan looked away and crossed his arms, “Get away from me for a little bit. You make my teeth ache.”

“Gladly.”

Iwaizumi felt as though he was quickly working down a list of names, shutting them all out of his life. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t mind too much. Other people were dangerous. They just wanted to hurt you. So much was obvious. His eyes landed on Hinata as he jumped to spike one of Kageyama’s sets.

He rubbed his eyes as Hinata’s pinny turned red and his hair turned similarly orange once again. He looked younger, and so did Kageyama as he focused entirely on the ball that left his hands.

As soon as the scene changed, it reverted back. Hinata landed on the ground, having got a razor sharp cross shot in on Toby. He and Kageyama high fived, both looking like the early twenty year olds they were and the light bounced softly off his dull brown hair. Iwaizumi clutched his hand over his pounding heart as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Akira-chan!”

His eyes snapped open and he saw Oikawa in his captain’s uniform setting to Kunimi. They both looked younger, less worn, in their turquoise outfits. He sighed heavily as he drank in the sight of his friend back in what he thought was his prime— but it certainly was not. Oikawa Tōru only became better and better with every passing week.

Iwaizumi shoved his hands in his pockets and turned on his heel, heading straight for the door.

“Where are you going?” Ryan called as he passed by.

“Hell,” Iwaizumi muttered.

He sighed and didn’t stop walking until he got back to the car. He unlocked the door and rooted around for his wallet, then looked up at the store just across the street.

_ Sakanoshita Store _

He took in a deep breath and walked inside, going straight to the counter. An elderly woman looked up at him and offered a very genuine smile.

«Good afternoon, kid. What do you need?»

«A pack of Winston Reds, please.»

«You have ID?»

Iwaizumi frowned slightly, not used to being carded for anything anymore but nodded and produced his driver’s licence. She looked at it before handing it back.

«California? What are you doing in our little city?»

«I grew up around here.»

«3,100¥.»

He nodded again and handed her the appropriate bills then took the pack of cigarettes from her.

«Enjoy your stay!»

He turned and held his hand up to her, clutching the cigarettes tightly. He went back outside, unwrapping the clear casing from around the box before discarding it and removing one from the pack. He frowned as he remembered he didn’t own a lighter— but Cole surely would.

He went back into the car and went into Cole’s bag, taking his lighter from the side pocket. He examined the sleek black design of it before flipping the lid open. Iwaizumi furrowed his brow as two purple streams of electricity crossed each other where normally a flame would exist. He shut the lid quickly, noticing the high pitched buzz was gone as soon as it was covered again.

He shut the car door and leaned against the vehicle and opened the lighter again, actually using it to light the cigarette between his lips. He stood and stared at the front of the store as he smoked until the cigarette was gone. Just as he stepped on the butt he heard a voice from behind him.

«What are you doing?»

Iwaizumi didn’t glance at Kunimi, «Fresh air.»

«Didn’t realize the air was better at the bottom of the hill. What’s your issue?»

«I have none.»

Kunimi stood in front of him, having changed back into regular clothes. Iwaizumi met his eye steadily until Kunimi looked away first.

«Why don’t you go back to the gym?»

«What about you? Why are you down here?»

Kunimi dangled his keys up, «Leaving. I am more than bored with Karasuno.»

«Where are you going?»

Kunimi shrugged, «Home?»

«Do you live with Kageyama?»

He shook his head but otherwise didn’t respond.

«Have any plans?»

He shook his head again.

«Wanna go for a drive?»

«Where?»

«Memory lane?»

Kunimi shrugged again, «As long as it isn’t my memory lane. I’m fine without that.»

«Sounds like a deal to me,» Iwaizumi stood and followed Kunimi to his car.

They got in and Iwaizumi was genuinely surprised by how clean it was. It wasn’t that Kunimi was necessarily a messy person, it was just that the car looked absolutely brand new. They did their seatbelts up and Kunimi pulled away.

«Did you tell anyone you were leaving?»

«No.»

«Maybe you should.»

«No.»

«Okay.»

They drove in silence and Iwaizumi said nothing about Kunimi’s speeding. It wasn’t anywhere near as ridiculous as Hinata’s and frankly he didn’t care much if he died just then in a fiery crash. When they were in their home city, Kunimi glanced over.

«Where?»

«43 - 22 - 01.»

«Yeesh.  _ That’s  _ memory lane?»

«Fortunately.»

Kunimi eyed him strangely once again and fell back into silence. Neither said another word until they arrived.

Iwaizumi stepped out of the vehicle and leaned against it before lighting another cigarette. He offered the carton to Kunimi as he leaned beside him, but he merely lifted his hand dismissively. 

«No, thanks. I don’t smoke anymore.»

Iwaizumi pocketed the pack, «I didn’t know you smoked.»

«I didn’t know you  _ do  _ smoke.»

«Yeah, well. I don’t, really.»

Kunimi hummed as they watched the park adjacent to Oikawa’s first childhood home. The one he lived in before his mother married his rich stepdaddy. A couple children played on the equipment while their mothers socialized with each other.

Iwaizumi squinted up at the sky as he exhaled, «Well, I—»

He looked down as a ball hit his foot. He kicked it back over to the child who ran for it.

«Thanks, mister!»

«Sure—» Iwaizumi blinked as he stared into the face of a very young Oikawa. «Uh.»

Oikawa blinked up at him before shrugging and running back to the park. Iwaizumi watched with wide eyes as he joined the other children playing, then saw something else that made his head spin. He saw his own five year old self playing quietly in the sand. He was filthy and all alone.

Oikawa’s mother led him by the hand over to little Iwaizumi and pushed him by the back, forcing him to go play.

«I don’t  _ want to,»  _ Oikawa whined, catching small Iwaizumi’s attention.

«Just play,» his mother said softly. 

She looked so young then. Oikawa reluctantly approached and his mother moved back to the bench with a book. Little Iwaizumi stared up at Oikawa with wide eyes.

«You’re dirty,» Oikawa said, pressing the ball into his own chest. «And you smell bad. I don’t like you. The other kids make fun of you, too.»

Regular Iwaizumi cringed as little Iwaizumi merely stared up at him. Oikawa leaned in, glaring at him.

«What? You don’t know any words?  _ None at all?» _

Little Iwaizumi blinked at him, and that seemed to anger little Oikawa, because he threw the ball at him. Little Iwaizumi deflected it automatically with both arms and Oikawa watched the ball roll behind him.

«Wait!» He shouted, running after it. «Do that again!»

Oikawa threw the ball again and little Iwaizumi deflected once again, unsure why the kid was abusing him with the volleyball. Oikawa gaped after it.

«You’re so good at that! If you had a bath we could be friends! But it’s so embarrassing.»

Iwaizumi crushed out his cigarette and looked away. He didn’t need to relive that. Instead, he turned his attention to Oikawa’s old home as he walked down the sidewalk, Kunimi trailing behind on his phone. He took in the rundown appearance of the home and jumped back as the door opened unexpectedly.

Oikawa’s mother shoved the slightly older boys out, «Come back when you have less energy.»

Little Oikawa and Iwaizumi giggled at each other and started off down the sidewalk when his mother shouted after them.

«Hajime, you have to have a bath tonight, too! You’re going home after school tomorrow!»

Little Iwaizumi visibly deflated as they slowed to a walk, «Okay.»

«We’re moving tomorrow, you know!» Oikawa beamed. «So we won’t be neighbors anymore.»

«I know,» Little Iwaizumi sulked.

«Don’t be sad! That just means it’ll be harder for them to make you go home!»

«Yeah.»

Iwaizumi followed them down the sidewalk as they fell into silence. He knew where they were going. Oikawa shoved the little Iwaizumi before taking off into a run. Iwaizumi stayed behind. He knew he’d see them where they were going. He just watched them until they disappeared.

He jumped out of the way as little Iwaizumi ran past him from behind. His body took it upon itself to follow behind.

Little Iwaizumi slowed to a walk as he got to his house. He stopped just before the cracked concrete walkway and sighed heavily before looking back in the direction of Oikawa’s home. Then, he went inside. Iwaizumi blinked and looked up at the charred house through the metal fence put up to stop people from getting too close.

«What happened here?» Kunimi asked, looking along with him.

«House fire,» Iwaizumi said.

«Yeah, but— Hey, what are you doing?» Kunimi sounded alarmed as Iwaizumi pushed his way through a gap in the fence. «It says no trespassing.»

«I’ll be right back.»

Kunimi huffed behind him, but he paid no mind as he walked up the creaky wooden stairs. The door knob was missing, making entering an easy feat. He stepped inside the house and the smell of burned material and stale cigarettes haunted him. He shoved his hands back in his pockets and looked around at the peeling wallpaper and mess all around on the floor. The wooden floorboards that  _ were  _ visible went from charred at the back, by the bedrooms, to bubbled and warped from water damage by his own feet.

«Smaller than I remember,» he muttered.

Iwaizumi walked to the stairs and tested his weight on the first one. When he was satisfied, he ascended them, stepping over the old debris of their life previous. Two lifetimes ago, by that point. He made his way down the hall, kicking old toys and garbage out of his way. His old door was ajar—last on the right— and he stepped into the doorway, the floor creaking dangerously under him.

The room was small. It was dark. A deep blue fleece blanket covered the window. An uncovered crib mattress laid in the middle of the floor, surrounded by filth. On the mattress sat Little Iwaizumi. He had his knees pulled up to his chest as he glared at a mouse that rustled through the dirty clothes and papers along the floor. Iwaizumi hesitantly stepped forward, and his past self looked up at him.

Part way through the room, something caught Iwaizumis eye.

«Binky,» he laughed.

He knelt down and picked up the stiff, filthy, baby blue blanket. He remembered nearly always having that with him as a child. It was the only thing he could remember his father intentionally giving him specifically.

«Who are you?» Little Iwaizumi asked. «You shouldn’t be here.»

Iwaizumi turned to him and opened his mouth to speak when the smoke detector sounded. Little Iwaizumis head snapped to the hall where the deafening blare came from. Little Iwaizumi snatched the suddenly soft, but still filthy blanket from Big Iwaizumis hands and covered his face with it.

«Hey, it’ll be okay,» Iwaizumi whispered.

He sat across from his former self for a long while. He knew what he was thinking, because he thought it once before.

_ ‘When will mom come and get me?’ _

He sat there, in the squalor of the room, until the smoke choked him. He stayed as little Iwaizumi held Binkie over his mouth and nose, crying. Then, he stayed as a fireman ran into the room.

«Hey, there’s a kid!»

«What?»

Another firefighter came into the room, spooking little Iwaizumi, who scooched back into the corner of the room. The men approached, and little Iwaizumi threw his Binkie down in an attempt to get away from them. They got him, though. That was their job.

«Wait!» Little Iwaizumi cried as he reached out. «My binkie!»

The men ignored his pleas, which ended up being easy as they quickly devolved into choked coughs. Iwaizumi shared the sentiment. His lungs burned under the stress of the thick black smoke. He went back to his discarded blanket and reclaimed it for himself before turning and following the heavy footfalls of the firemen’s boots on the stairs.

He followed closely behind, stepping through the flames on the first floor, feeling their chill as they licked up his legs. But they weren’t real. They just  _ were.  _ No pain, nothing lost, it was just… happening.

He stepped outside and was confronted only with the sight of Kunimi awaiting him on the other side of the grated wall. The sun shined in his face. The smoke was gone. There was no alarm, no sirens, no firemen, nothing. Just… Kunimi Akira and his dead eyes.

«Everything okay?»

«Yeah.»

«What’s in your hand?»

Iwaizumi glanced down before attempting to shake out the blanket, «Garbage.»

«Then why do you have it?»

Iwaizumi squeezed back through the gap in the fence and shrugged, «It’s important garbage.»

«Okay?»

He walked at his own pace until he reached the woods at the end of the street, then walked right in. He kept his hands deep in his pockets, Binkie just hanging on, as he stepped over the brush and fallen logs until he got to what he was looking for. Once he was there, he looked up at the long abandoned tree fort.

«Iwa-chan!» Oikawa called down, beaming, waving his arm largely before singing.  _ «I’m the king of the castle!» _

Iwaizumi stepped back and nearly tripped on a fallen tree before sitting on it. The ghost of his child self remained where he previously stood. He watched himself stare up, knowing fully well what he was thinking.

_ You are my king, and I love you. _

«You shouldn’t be up there! You’ll get hurt!»

«No, see?» Oikawa jumped around, proving the structure could support his weight.

Iwaizumi stood and walked to the tree, wondering if he could break the illusion. He searched along the trunk and found exactly what he was looking for. He ran his finger along the carved H + T in the bark.

«Ow, what the hell?»

He pulled his finger back and watched a drop of blood roll off of it.

«You have to be  _ careful,  _ Iwa-chan!»

Iwaizumi looked up and saw young Oikawa staring right back. He startled back and saw his young self standing at the tree with the pocket knife he carried around for years, but back then it was brand new.

«Sorry,» Little Iwaizumi muttered.

«I’m just worried about you,» Oikawa muttered, taking his hand and examining his small cut. «Hey!»

«What?»

«We should be blood brothers!»

«What?»

«Here,  _ gimme,»  _ Oikawa wrestled the knife from little Iwaizumi and then intentionally cut his finger before holding it up to his friend. «Now we mix!»

«That’s gross.»

_ «No! It isn’t!» _

Little Iwaizumi frowned but conceded, pressing his wound into Oikawa’s, mixing their blood together. Oikawa smiled before wiping the blood off on his shorts, «See? That’s not so bad! Now you’ll always be a part of me! No matter what!»

«You’re stupid,» Little Iwaizumi said, but he smiled.

Iwaizumi gave a smile of his own as he turned around to go back to his fallen log. When he did, he was confronted with the image of teenaged Iwaizumi and Oikawa already sitting there. He blinked slowly at them. They were sixteen at the time. He knew exactly what he was about to see, and he dreaded it.

«What’s wrong, Iwa-chan?»

«The regular.»

«Yeah,» Oikawa breathed.

Grown Iwaizumi’s breath hitched in his throat as Oikawa’s hand moved to Teenage Iwaizumi’s knee, and he returned the gesture by leaning onto his shoulder, which Oikawa topped by wrapping his arm around him. Grown Iwaizumi averted his eyes as Oikawa adjusted his teenage self’s chin to look up at him. He didn’t want to see it.

«We can’t do this anymore.»

«How come?» Oikawa asked.

«It isn’t right. It makes me feel bad.»

«I make you feel bad?»

Iwaizumi turned back and watched himself sigh and run his hands over his face, «I don’t like boys.»

«What?» Oikawa laughed. «I think that’s objectively false.»

_ «Shut up,»  _ he glared at his friend. «I just. My dad is catching on. I don’t… Want to deal with that.»

«Yeah, that’s fair,» Oikawa said. «It’s not like this really meant anything. It wouldn’t be worth the trouble, right?»

«Right.»

They both looked anywhere but at each other before Oikawa turned back, «We’re still best friends, right?»

Younger Iwaizumi extended his pinkie to Oikawa, «Always. Brothers.»

Oikawa linked their fingers together, «Funny, I don’t remember moving to Alabama.»

«That’s a stereotype  _ and  _ you’re disgusting.»

Iwaizumi was glad they could follow through on that. He wasn’t sure where he’d be if that was the end entirely. He heaved a sigh as he watched them watch the trees, then turned to go back. But when he did, he was confronted by Kunimi staring at him, visibly concerned— and beyond him was present day Oikawa.

«What?»

«Are you okay?» Kunimi asked.

«Yep.»

Iwaizumi walked past them to get back to the car. He’d seen enough. Surely, if he got far enough away, the visions would stay behind, too. He only just got past Oikawa when he reached out and grabbed his arm.

«Iwa-chan, what are you doing?» Oikawa looked at the blanket, «And what  _ is  _ that? It smells. Get rid of it.»

Iwaizumi attempted to keep his reaction calculated. Oikawa wasn’t really there, but  _ Kunimi  _ was, and he couldn’t know. Not definitively. So, he started forward again, ignoring Oikawa entirely.

Kunimi stepped through the leaves, dragging his feet and kicking them out of the way until he stood beside Oikawa.

«Are you two fighting or something?»

Oikawa crossed his arms and cocked his hip, «I didn’t think so.»

Kunimi hummed and they started following after Iwaizumi when Oikawa spoke once again.

«What was in his hand?»

«Remember how I said he went into that burned house?»

«He used to live there.»

«I figured as much. Anyways, he came out with that. I asked what it was and he said ‘important garbage’.»

Oikawa pursed his lips and nodded as they watched Iwaizumi lean back against Kunimi’s car and light a cigarette.

_ «He’s smoking?» _

«Yeah, he did that earlier, too.»

«Jesus.»

They stopped in front of Iwaizumi who finally looked up and raised his cigarette to Kunimi.

«I’ll be a minute if that’s okay.»

«Sure.»

«Iwa-chan, why are you smoking again? You quit.»

Iwaizumi looked down and scruffed his toe against the curb before looking up to the sky. Kunimi looked at Oikawa strangely, who just shook his head.

«Ignoring me won’t make me go away.»

_ ‘If only it would,’  _ Iwaizumi thought.

They all stood in uncomfortable silence as Iwaizumi smoked. He threw his cigarette down, half burned, because he just wanted to get out of there.

«Ready?» He nudged Kunimi with his elbow.

«Yeah. Are we going back to Karasuno?»

«Yeah, I guess.»

«Are you coming?» Kunimi turned to Oikawa, who nodded. 

Iwaizumi looked between them, absolutely floored. Kunimi saw him, too? He was really there?

_ ‘Well, shit.’ _

They all got into the car and started off in silence, not even the radio to distract their thoughts. Oikawa leaned in between the seats and tapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder.

«Are you ready to talk to me, now?»

«Yes.»

«Why are you smoking again?»

«I want to.»

«What is that?»

«Nothing.»

«What were you doing out there?»

«Lookin’,» Iwaizumi looked out the window.

«So, you really  _ aren’t  _ ready to talk, then.»

Iwaizumi shrugged, feeling a whole slew of emotions. Shame, anger, frustration, sadness, and simply just  _ hollow.  _ The realization that you couldn’t be sure what was real or what wasn’t was disheartening to put it lightly. For it all to happen so suddenly, too. Unless it hadn’t. How much of his life was fake? How could he know?

«Iwa-chan?» Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi clutched his head in his hands and peeked at Kunimi in his peripheral. He based Oikawa’s existence on Kunimi acknowledging it, but what if he wasn’t there, either? His breathing quickened as he took his old friend in. He  _ looked  _ real, but so did little Oikawa and Iwaizumi. So did the firemen. But he knew those things weren’t really happening. So, how could he know? He needed to know.

On top of that, what if Akaashi really  _ hadn’t  _ told him he was going to rehab? What if that was all fake too? And he really had lied to Bokuto? And then torn them both apart? Then, he’d  _ really  _ deserve for Bokuto to crush his skull in with one swift punch of his behemoth hand.

_ ‘I’m going to be fucking sick.’ _

He leaned forward and turned the radio on, feeling absolutely disturbed and out of place. He needed  _ anything  _ to distract him. He glanced back at where Oikawa studied him closely and felt a chill tear down his spine. Something about his eyes felt wrong. He wasn’t sure if he was making it up, but it felt as though Oikawa was reading his thoughts. That was impossible.

«Come on, I’m not a mind reader. Can you just tell me what’s happening?»

Iwaizumi stiffened and gripped the blanket tighter. He wanted to jump out of the moving vehicle just to get away. He needed to be away from them. He needed to be alone. His skin crawled and tingled as Oikawa watched him. After a few moments, he felt up to his neck. He turned and glared.

«Can you stop fucking looking at me?»

Oikawa sat back and raised his hands in surrender, «Okay, I’m sorry.»

_ «Thanks.» _

He turned back and folded his arms while Kunimi anxiously tapped the steering wheel. He even started speeding faster, desperately wanting to get out of the car. No one said anything the entire way back to Karasuno.

Only, they weren’t  _ going  _ to Karasuno. Iwaizumi only became aware of that fact as they pulled up outside the emergency ward of the hospital. He stared up at the large red writing on the building before turning to Kunimi, who kept his head turned away and eyes glued downwards. He then turned to Oikawa, who stared back with both concern and  _ ‘Do not fuck with me’  _ in his eyes.

«No.»

«Yes,» Oikawa breathed.

_ «No.» _

_ «Yes.» _

Iwaizumi reached for the door handle to flee when Oikawa placed an unassuming and gentle hand on his shoulder. He didn’t look at him, but he did stop moving. Oikawa’s voice came to him as nothing more than an aural illusion— a ghost in the wind.

«You’ve come undone.»

Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut, picturing the imaginary list of names in his head. If he left the vehicle— if he fled from them— the very next name to be scratched out in bold red was  _ ‘Oikawa Tōru’.  _ And he simply couldn’t have that. He let out a long, steading exhale.

«Okay.»

«Okay?»

«Yeah. Okay.»

«Okay,» Oikawa breathed.

Oikawa got out of the vehicle and opened Iwaizumi’s door for him, holding him by the shirt so he couldn’t run if he tried. He held onto the door and leaned down to look at Kunimi, who still hadn’t looked up.

«Thank you, Kunimi-chan.»

«Yeah.»

Oikawa closed the car door and walked them to the building. Iwaizumi looked behind him only for a moment and saw Kunimi with his face in his hands. He bit his cheek hard and looked forward again.

“Oikawa.”

“Yeah?”

“What if he leaves me?”

“What?”

“What if Shō finds out how crazy I am and leaves me? I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t know how to get on again. I— I don’t know a lot right now, but what I do know is he can’t go.”

Oikawa shook his head, “Hinata isn’t leaving you.”

“You don’t  _ know  _ that, though.”

“I do, though, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa’s tone was firm, and Iwaizumi appreciated not having to hear the tone of a person afraid to break him.

“I’m scared.”

“Honestly,” Oikawa glanced at him before staring forward again. “I am too.”

“You’re supposed to tell me it’ll be okay.”

“It will be okay.”

“Now I know you don’t mean that.”

Oikawa snorted amusedly, “I  _ do  _ mean it. The only way out is through, Iwa-chan. You just have to get through it. That’s the scary part.”

Iwaizumi walked alongside him and thanked the heavens when he let go of his shirt. They walked through the automatic doors and made their way through the halls, stopping before a door that simply read  _ ‘crisis mediation’. _

“Is this a crisis?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa glanced at him but said nothing as he pushed the door open and gestured for Iwaizumi to go in. 

_ ‘I guess I was thinking of throwing myself out of a moving vehicle,’  _ he thought as he took a small step in.  _ ‘And I have a bounty on my head.’  _ He took another small step forward.  _ ‘And the bounty hunter could crush me under one small squish of his thumb like a gnat.’ _

He reluctantly sighed and checked in at that desk too before sitting beside Oikawa in the waiting room. They both fidgeted awkwardly as they waited and filled out paperwork together.

“How’s things with Ryan?”

“Good. I mean, I think. He talks a lot. Fast, too.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

“Everything I say is absolutely deliberate and delivered  _ perfectly,  _ thank you very much.”

“That  _ also  _ sounds like someone I know. God, I hate to say it but you two truly are perfect for each other.”

“Aw, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa laughed.

“Tell me something, though.”

“Hm?”

“When you two get it on do you suck  _ each other’s  _ dicks or just your own like every other day of your lives?”

Oikawa blinked before glaring at him, “Now is  _ not  _ that time for humor, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi let out a small, humorless chuckle, “Who said I was joking?”

They sat in silence for a moment longer before Iwaizumi looked back at him.

“You’re lucky, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“You can’t understand Ryan. I wish I couldn’t understand him. I wish I had a filter in my brain that just… made his words go away,” Iwaizumi laughed humorlessly again.

Oikawa mirrored his fake laugh, “He’s a good man.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi sighed. “Yeah, he is.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime?”

Their heads snapped up to a small woman with dark features. They stood and followed her into a room with a desk, computer, rolling chair and two leather arm chairs. They each took their seats in the leather chairs and handed the paperwork over as she closed the door then sat in her rolling chair.

“I’m Hora-san, nice to meet you despite our likely unfortunate circumstances.”

“Hello, Hora-san,” Iwaizumi bowed to her.

She smiled at him and took out a notepad, “Why don’t you tell me what brought you here?”

Iwaizumi pointed to Oikawa, “Him.”

She glanced at Oikawa who just looked pained, “Alright. Why’s that?”

“He said I’ve come undone.”

“I see. What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t we hear it straight from the horse’s mouth?”

The both looked to Oikawa who looked like a deer caught in headlights, “Uh, right. A few nights ago at a party, he had these… hallucinations? Flashbacks? So, we collectively decided to start keeping a closer eye on him. My partner noticed him acting weirdly today and notified me, then he disappeared. A friend found him and they went on a drive to our old neighborhood. Then, I suppose he began behaving oddly there as well so this friend notified me of this as well. I sped down there and he  _ was,  _ in fact, acting strangely. The same way as at that party. And now we’re here.”

She nodded, scratching down notes, “Tell me about these flashbacks, Iwaizumi-san.”

Iwaizumi sighed and sat back, folding his arms, “I don’t know. The ones at the party led me through time. Pivotal moments in my life. I suppose the ones today did as well.”

“Do you have any diagnoses?”

“C-PTSD.”

“I see. What kind of moments were these?”

“Mostly traumatic.”

“Formative?”

“Yep.”

“Can you think of anything that may have been triggering these flashbacks?”

“Probably just being home again. I’m not sure. Before I moved across the world this never happened to me. Now, though, I just— Don’t know what’s real anymore. I feel like everything’s been fake. Everything’s a lie. I don’t want to be here. I’m probably not even here. I’m probably actually in a hospital somewhere eating mush and pills for lunch while banging my stupid head against the wall.”

Oikawa stared at him with a deep frown and a furrowed brow. She nodded slowly.

“I assure you that this is real and we are all here.”

“Yeah, I bet we are.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, “This is a safe space. Feel free to say as you please.”

Iwaizumi sighed again, “Since this isn’t really happening, why not? I’m just going to wake up in bed or driving down the highway or— I don’t know. Whatever. Okay, so I’m the athletic trainer for the USA men’s volleyball team. Allegedly. We’re here for the Olympics and I’m supposed to be getting married in a couple weeks. August sixteenth. To a man two years younger than me.”

“Okay.”

“Then my fiancé’s friend asked me to take  _ his  _ fiance out shopping to keep him busy for a day.”

“Yeah?”

Oikawa frowned at his tone.

“And up until I saw  _ this  _ guy, I was sure my fiance was the most perfect person in the world for me. But then we got to talking and it’s hard to explain, but I just felt connected to him. Like we’d spent past lives together or knew each other since before we could talk. Which is stupid. So stupid. And I know that now, but. I don’t know. I just felt  _ seen  _ in a way I never had before.”

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind and sat back to listen more.

“I think really it was a ‘trauma bond’, my therapist back home told me about it. I’m probably using the word wrong, I’m not sure. We’re both sick. We’re both crazy. We both make bad decisions. And I guess I fell into old habits and saw something comfortable there. My fiance pushes me to be better, which is what I know I need but when the opportunity to be around someone as pretentious and broken as I am came up, it just seemed— I’m not sure. I won’t lie, I considered it.”

“Considered what?”

Iwaizumi ran his hands down his face, “Cheating. And even  _ thinking  _ about thinking about it makes me want to fucking shoot myself between the eyes.”

“What?” Oikawa gasped.

“I  _ didn’t.  _ I had the opportunity, but I didn’t. At least… I  _ think  _ I had the opportunity.”

“As in you weren’t sure if you were reading the signals correctly?”

“As in I’m not sure the conversation happened at all.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose, frustration and shame slamming into him from all sides.

“This guy is sick, okay?”

“Sick how?”

“He doesn’t eat. He probably only weighs one hundred and five pounds. Which is  _ fucked  _ because he’s over six feet tall. He has… hair growing all over his body. His shoulders, his ribs, his face. And I could count his ribs if I wanted to. I could probably eat cereal out of the dips between them. He’s a skeleton. It’s horrifying.”

She nodded slowly, but seemed to have nothing to say for a moment, “I see. What else?”

“I talked to his fiance. He told me how irrational he is. How he’s crazy. How he lives every day not knowing if his fiance would wake up again beside him. How  _ the love of his life  _ passed out at random times because he simply refused to eat. And I know it’s more complicated than that— It’s just  _ frustrating.” _

“Iwa-chan, we were talking ab—“

The woman held a hand up and Oikawa apologized. Iwaizumi sighed again.

“Right. So, that night he did pass out. That was when I spoke to his fiance. As he laid in bed and Bokuto didn’t know if he’d get back up. But then I went to get a drink and when I turned back around he was there on the stairs, wrapped in a blanket. He looked like a ghost, but with the veil over him you almost couldn’t tell how sick he actually was. He asked me to go for a cigarette with him and I accepted. We sat out on the step and his lighter didn’t work, so we had to bum light his which put us at pretty close quarters. And… I don’t know. Maybe it was just knowing we both felt so hopeless, like life had nothing real left to offer us in that moment. But we caught each other’s eye and I swear he was asking me to kiss him.”

“Jesus,” Oikawa breathed.

Iwaizumi clutched his pounding heart, “But I didn’t. We talked about how great our fiances are. It was as if,” he strained to get the words out. “It was as if we were reminding not only each other, but ourselves of what we had to live for. Then he told me he was going to rehab and we agreed to stop talking.”

“Right.”

“Then this morning I spoke to his fiance again. I let slip that he was going to rehab, assuming he’d already told him. Because if he was going to tell  _ me  _ then surely he’d tell the love of his life,” Iwaizumi’s voice broke. “And maybe of  _ all  _ his lives. But then later he called me, chewing me out for telling Bokuto. And in the moment it seemed like he was gaslighting me by telling me our conversation never happened. He kept saying that I lied to Bokuto— that I just— Just  _ made it up.  _ He said I was crazy. And I just… fucking…  _ snapped.” _

“Snapped how?”

Iwaizumi pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes in the hopes of keeping the tears in, “I told him such  _ hateful  _ shit. I told him that he’s hopeless. I said he’s not even a person anymore. That he  _ ruins  _ people. That his sick brain can’t remember anything because he doesn’t eat and  _ that’s  _ why he can’t remember telling me. And I…”

Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa who wore a very deliberately empty expression before he choked on a cry.

“I told him I’ll be sure to attend his funeral in a month when his body collapses in on itself.”

Iwaizumi covered his eyes as he silently cried into them, feeling worse for doing so. He did the actions, he didn’t deserve to cry over them.

“I made him cry. So hard. And it felt so good. In that moment I wanted him to cry. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel every ounce of what I was feeling because I felt like he betrayed me. I felt like this  _ person—  _ this person I don’t even know— owed me something. Over a conversation that probably didn’t even happen. Now— What if he  _ does  _ die? What if something  _ does  _ happen to him? What if it’s intentional? What if he kills himself? And that’s what I said to him? And he doesn’t even know why— he can’t begin to understand—“

Iwaizumi yelled into his hands, unravelling fully.

_ “I  _ want to die. I  _ deserve  _ to die. I’m a stupid fucking piece of shit. I’m a  _ monster.  _ He was right when he said that. He isn’t crazy. No, fuck no. I’m crazy. I’m the craziest motherfucker on this planet. Everyone I know is worse for having known me. I— God. I should’ve killed myself long ago. I should’ve died in the fire. I should’ve never been born. I— I’m abusive. I’m my father. I  _ abused  _ Akaashi. So badly. Bokuto should kill me. But then I don’t deserve that out. I should have to sit with this pain forever. Alone. That’s what a stupid piece of shit deserves.”

The woman nodded before standing, “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

Oikawa watched her leave before turning back to Iwaizumi and hesitantly reaching out to pet his back. They stayed like that for a few long moments— Oikawa just petting his back as he cried— until she returned.

“I think the best course of action here is hospitalization.”

“What?” Iwaizumi’s head snapped up. “No— No, I can’t do that.”

“Why is that?”

“Then they’ll know— They— No, I can’t. Shōyō—“

“Shōyō would want you to be healthy.” Oikawa said.

“Is Shōyō the fiance?”

“Yes,” Oikawa said.

“Maybe we should call Shōyō.”

_ “No!”  _ Iwaizumi yelled. “He can’t know how bad this is.”

The woman sighed lightly and looked at him with understanding eyes, “I understand this is frightening. The important thing here is you get the help you need before you harm yourself or others.”

“I  _ refuse  _ to be hospitalized,” Iwaizumi snapped.

She glanced at Oikawa before turning her attention back to Iwaizumi, “Unfortunately you don’t have much of a choice. Your friend has filed the necessary documents for involuntary hospitalization and after this assessment I have to agree with him. You need to be in a safe place.”

Iwaizumi’s head then snapped to Oikawa who wouldn’t meet his eye, “You  _ what?” _

“I told you. You’ve come undone.”

“We don’t do inpatient here,” she said softly. “Sendai is full as well, I just called. You’ll have to stay in Tokyo.”

“Tokyo?” Iwaizumi breathed. “But I just came from Tokyo.”

“You’ll have to go back. Please understand that we want to help you.”

Iwaizumi dragged his hands across his face and whispered, “This really is real, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it really is real,” Oikawa whispered to the ground.

She tucked her short hair behind her ear before turning to the phone on the desk, “Shall we call Shōyō?”

Hinata laughed at Tanaka and Nishinoya as they spoke animatedly about what they’d been up to since graduation. They all gave up on practicing and simply stood around, catching up.

They all frowned as Kunimi entered the gym after being gone for well over three hours.

_ ‘I thought he was going home?’ _

Kunimi walked over and pulled Kageyama aside mid sentence. The setter frowned but followed him to the far side of the gym. The rest of the group collectively shrugged and carried on swapping stories but Hinata’s eyes stayed on the couple. Kunimi kept his arms crossed as he spoke to the ground while Kageyama held one hand on his hip and ran the other through his hair. Hinata pursed his lips and moved to his bag, removing his phone for the first time since he got there.

_ ‘Bokuto - 47 Missed Calls’ _

“What the hell?” He breathed.

“What’s up?” Cole materialized beside him.

Hinata shook his head as he opened his voicemail and pressed the phone to his ear, immediately wincing as Bokuto screamed at him via message.

_ «Hinata! I swear to go— Ugh. Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at  _ you—  _ Just. Call me, okay?» _

He frowned deeply as his insides began squirming and he played the next one.

_ «Listen, where are you guys? Still at Karasuno? Will you still be there in the time it takes to drive there? Let me know, dude, okay? I’m freaking the fuck out, here.» _

The uneasiness settled heavily over his body as he played the third and final message.

_ «Listen,»  _ Bokuto said in a teary voice.  _ «I’m sorry. I love you, but I am going to commit a murder. I don’t care how stupid it is to admit that over the phone. I— I will murder Iwaizumi Hajime. I will kill him dead. Then I’ll beat his corpse, too. I just— I’m sorry, but you’re better off, man. Way better off. When I find him— I just. I’m sorry.» _

«What the fuck?» Hinata couldn’t manage much above a whisper.

“Wow, who’s yelling like that?” Cole asked.

Ryan crutched painfully over to them and grabbed Cole by the ear, “Shut up, stupid. You okay, Hinata?”

Hinata stared up at them with confused, hurt eyes, “What… I— What?”

“What?” Cole asked and cried out as Ryan tugged on his ear.

“I said,  _ shut up, stupid.  _ What’d the messages say?”

“It was Bokuto. He sai—“

They all stared down to Hinata’s phone as it buzzed loudly in his hand. He stared at the unknown number, already knowing it’d be bad. There was a Japanese area code. Maybe it was the police calling him to identify a body. He pressed the phone to his ear with a shaking hand after picking the call up.

«Hello?»

«Hello, is this one Hinata Shōyō?»

«This is he.»

«Hi, Hinata-san. This is Hora Rin calling from South Miyagi Medical Centre.»

«Jesus,» Hinata breathed, pressing a hand to his forehead. «In regard to Iwaizumi Hajime?»

«Yes, sir. We have him here in the crisis mediation unit with an Oikawa Tōru.»

«Oikawa is there?»

Ryan and Cole shared a concerned look at the mention of the names, but otherwise had no clue what was happening.

«Yes, sir. We have decided that it is in the best interest of your fiance to keep him hospitalized for an observational period.»

«Is he okay?» Hinata’s voice cracked.

«Yes, yes. We’d just like to keep him that way. We’re going to have him escorted to the Tokyo Metropolitan Otsuka Hospital if you would like to meet him there with some belongings.»

«Yes, I’ll leave right away.»

«Excellent. When you get there just make your way to the mental health unit— it’s on the second floor, follow the blue lines— and tell them who you are and who you’re there to see. I wish you a wonderful day, Hinata-san.»

«Thanks.»

Hinata hung the phone up harshly and rubbed at his eyes. He felt like screaming and throwing his phone across the room— but really, his body just shut down. He didn’t understand what was happening to Iwaizumi. He was hardly the same person. He tried  _ so hard  _ to be there for him and to constantly keep a smile on his face, but he was getting tired. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold on for. He loved him so much, and wanted to try for him— but how long could you help someone that didn’t seem to want help?

“What’s happening?” Ryan asked. “What about Oikawa?”

“He’s with Iwaizumi at the hospital.”

“What?” Cole asked. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess Oikawa checked him in because I’m sure he didn’t choose to do that on his own.”

“Damn,” Cole whispered, shifting awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Shōyō.”

Hinata glared at where he clutched his phone tightly, “At least Bokuto can’t kill him while he’s in there.”

“I’m sorry,  _ what?” _

Hinata glanced at Cole’s face and choked out, “I don’t  _ know.” _

“It’s okay,” Ryan shook his head. “I mean… it will be. What’s the next move?”

“I go to Tokyo.”

“But we just came from Tokyo,” Cole said.

“That isn’t  _ helpful,  _ Horowitz,” Ryan strained. “I’ll go with you. You can’t drive.”

_ “You  _ can’t drive,” Cole said.

“My  _ left  _ knee is broken. You don’t need your left leg to drive.”

“You don’t have a license,” Cole snapped.

“Pft,” Ryan waved a hand out. “Live a little.”

“You’re not driving, Ryan.”

“But I haven’t driven in so  _ long,”  _ Ryan whined.

“Get used to it, fuck face. Who  _ can  _ drive you?”

“I’ll drive myself,” Hinata said. “No one will get there faster than me, anyway. Come get your stuff out of the car.”

They nodded and started to follow when Cole shoved Ryan harshly back by the chest, “Stay. I’m not carrying your crippled ass everywhere.”

“I didn’t  _ ask  _ you to. I want to help.”

“Help by staying, then.”

Hinata turned to his friends and bowed, «A family emergency came up, forgive me. If it isn’t too much trouble could you keep my friends occupied for the night?»

Daichi nodded enthusiastically, «Yeah, anything! Is everything alright?»

Hinata nodded and forced a smile, «Yes, it’ll all work out.»

Sugawara hugged him, «We’ll see you soon, okay? And… don’t be afraid to call! I hope to see more of you before your wedding.»

«Yeah,» Hinata’s smile strained harshly on his face as he slid his hand down to Sugawara’s and shook it, «Me too, Suga.»

They waved to him as he and Cole all but ran down to the car. Hinata unlocked the one Iwaizumi travelled in with some of the boys as well as the one he brought the rest in. He and Cole moved their things from one car to the other. The libero patted the side of his bag and frowned before reaching into the pocket.

“Where’s my lighter?”

“Did you forget it at Kenma’s?”

“No.”

“I’m not sure then. I’m sorry, Cole— I need to go.”

“Right, sorry,” Cole slapped him on the back. “Keep in touch.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Cole stepped back onto the grass as Hinata started the car and burned rubber off back in the way they came. He sighed harshly as he held his hand against the burning sun and watched the vehicle tear away.

“Something’s not quite right with him, huh?”

He turned and put his hands in his shorts pockets before slowly walking back up the hill, his eyes lingering for an extra second on the storefront across the street. He let out another long exhale and fixed his eyes on the school as it became visible again.

“God, I fucking hate it when Ryan’s right.”


	23. Free Churro

Iwaizumi sighed at his slippers. His shoes were taken away because they had laces. And apparently laces were a risk. And they didn’t take risks on the mental health ward.

He was forced to take a sedative before leaving Miyagi because apparently not wanting to go somewhere to be imprisoned against his will made him “aggressive”. He sighed again and flexed his toes out in his slippers. He’d been back in Tokyo for about an hour and a half and stood in that room for an hour. He was allowed to leave, but he didn’t really want to. He didn’t want to go interact with the other crazy people.

But truth be told, it was an hour in and he was already sick of the white walls. There was no decor in the room at all. Just a bed. That was it. Well, there was also a rolling table, but that didn’t exactly add to the intrigue of the scenery. He sighed again, louder and harsher than the last two and decided to try his luck with the crazies outside. Maybe he could find a cup of coffee.

He turned and walked out of the room, slowly making his way down the hall. The common area became visible just beyond the nurses station. From what he understood the unit was for less aggressive patients, meaning the nurses’ station was open and he was free to speak to them. He didn’t want to, though. The thought of being at low risk for being attacked brought him some peace of mind— or perhaps that was just the sedative.

He craned his neck to see if anyone else sat in the common area, and just saw one person facing away on the closest couch. They had an IV stand beside them, which was curious to Iwaizumi. He couldn’t have shoelaces but they could have a fucking needle quite literally in their hand?

He slowly approached and his blood ran cold as his body froze upon seeing who exactly sat on the couch.

“Akaashi?” He breathed.

The man put his book down and slowly turned, his eyes every bit as afraid as Iwaizumi felt, “Oh. It’s you.”

Iwaizumi took a small step back, “How do I know if that’s really you?”

Akaashi sighed and turned back around to his book, “I don’t care if you know it’s really me.”

Iwaizumi glanced at the nurses who looked up for a second before deciding their interaction was alright. He supposed they’d do something if he was talking to nothing. Iwaizumi slowly walked forward and sat on the couch across from him, eyeing up the IV as he went.

“Akaashi, I—“

Akaashi held a hand up to him, “Don’t.”

“Okay.”

“I see you’re here, too. Have you realized you’re just as crazy as I am now?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “Crazier.”

Akaashi snorted down to his book, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence and Iwaizumi watched him flip his page. By the time Akaashi tore through five pages, the ex-setter looked up at him briefly.

“Who made  _ you  _ come here? Shōyō?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “Oikawa. You?”

“Kōtarō.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “I see.”

“You're lucky you’re here,” Akaashi said to his book. “He was ready to murder you.”

“Yeah, well, maybe he should’ve.”

“I’m sure he’ll try.”

Iwaizumi watched him flip the page again. Akaashi spoke quietly after a long moment.

“He’s a hard guy to piss off. Congratulations.”

“I feel so special.”

Akaashi snorted again, actually smiling a touch, “You should.”

“Why do you have an IV?”

Akaashi glanced up at it, his disgust momentarily shining through his indifference, “My mush brain needed nutrients. Or so I heard. That is, if I’m remembering correctly.”

Iwaizumi pursed his lips and stared at the floor, “I see.”

“What did you do to make Oikawa put you here?”

Iwaizumi sighed, “I see things.”

“Like dead people?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow at him, “Huh?”

“You know,  _ The Sixth Sense?  _ The movie?” Akaashi watched his confused expression before looking back to the book. “Never mind.”

“Okay? Uh, no. Just… things. People. Living ones. What’d you do?”

Akaashi smiled again as he turned the page, but it contained no humor, “I’m not telling you.”

“That’s fair.”

“You’d just use it against me.”

“I understand.”

The silence grew tensely between them until Iwaizumi had to break it.

“Is he going to visit you here?”

“Why? Are you afraid?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow at him as he toyed at the corner of his page. “Because you should be.”

“I may be. But I’ve also accepted my fate of being crushed by him.”

Akaashi let out a genuine laugh, “Good. But, no. The doctor decided it’d be best for everyone if he had some time to cool down.”

“He’s pretty upset, huh?”

“How would you feel if Hinata was sick and someone spoke to him that way?” Akaashi pursed his lips as he paused. “Actually, I doubt you’d really care. Never mind.”

Iwaizumi frowned, feeling that one like a physical blow, “I’d care. I understand.”

“Sure.”

Iwaizumi watched him for a moment longer, examining his skeletal fingers run along the edges of his book and the way the IV bobbed around in the back of his hand, clinging to anything that happened to exist between his skin and bone. Just as he was about to speak, the phone rang at the nurses’ station. He looked up and watched a short blonde nurse answer the call. She then met his eye with a small smile.

“Iwaizumi-san? Your fiance is here with your things.”

Iwaizumi smiled before he frowned and stood. He could feel Akaashi’s cold gaze on his back as he walked to the station and waited for Hinata to be allowed in.

Hinata walked in, hesitantly looking around before spotting Iwaizumi. He seemed to be keeping a smile on his face but just barely. He was likely warned about the ‘happy, healing’ atmosphere they tried to maintain within the unit. Iwaizumi hugged him tightly as he barreled into his arms. He pressed his face into his hair and breathed in his scent.

“Hajime, are you okay?”

“Eh. Yeah. Are you? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m just glad you’re in one piece,” Hinata clung tightly to him.

“I love you so much, Shōyō,” tears pushed at Iwaizumi’s eyes. “So, so much. So much.”

“I love you, too, Hajime,” Hinata pulled away, smile finally gone. “What happened?”

“I…” Iwaizumi sighed. “I’m not ready to talk about it again, is that okay?”

Hinata nodded and wiped at his eyes, “Yeah. We can talk about it after.”

“Right.”

Hinata and Iwaizumi stared at each other for a moment before the shorter man remembered he held his bag. He thrusted it into Iwaizumi’s chest.

“They went through it. They took out the cologne, razors, and phone charger. Also the sweaters. If you want them they said they’d give them to you but you need to remove the strings. I can get them for you before I have to leave if you want. It’s pretty cold in here.”

Iwaizumi smiled warmly down at him and placed a hand on his cheek, “You’re way too good for me.”

“No,” Hinata shook his head, leaning into his touch. “I’m not.”

Iwaizumi leaned in and pressed his lips to Hinata’s ear before whispering so only he could hear, “Please tell me you see him.”

“Huh?” Hinata furrowed his brow.

“Akaashi. Please tell me you see him here.”

Hinata turned and looked into the common area, “Hajime,  _ no one  _ is there. Akaashi or otherwise.”

Iwaizumi felt dread flood him as he turned to see that was true, “Oh. I swear he was. But then again…”

Hinata stared at Iwaizumi with sad eyes when the taller man perked up. He walked over and picked Akaashi’s book up from the table. Hinata walked over and Iwaizumi spoke very quietly.

“Look, see? I didn’t make it up.”

Hinata slowly took the book from him and opened the front cover then flipped through the pages.

“Right,” he said slowly.

Iwaizumi placed his hand over Hinata’s wrists and stared into his concerned eyes with imploring ones, “Please believe me.”

Hinata strained a smile and nodded, looking back to the book, “I believe you.”

Iwaizumi sighed and placed the book back down, “I’m sorry you had to come back here.”

“I said don’t be sorry. Do you want some coffee? I can go and find us some coffee.”

Iwaizumi nodded slowly and spoke softly, “Sure. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Hinata breathed, secretly very relieved to walk away for a moment. It was just too much all at once.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch as he waited and picked the book up again. He looked along the top of the pages and saw one was folded down at the corner. He flipped it open to the page Akaashi left off on and started reading.

_ ‘We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. So medicine, law, business, engineering... these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love... these are what we stay alive for.’ _

Iwaizumi’s lips quivered as he turned the cover back over to read that,  _ ‘Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman’.  _ He let out a shaky breath and turned back to the page and something on the next page caught his eye.

_ ‘Do I contradict myself? _

_ Very well then I contradict myself, _

_ I am large, I contain multitudes.’ _

Hinata startled him by sitting next to him and handing him a paper cup of juice.

“I couldn’t find coffee.”

Iwaizumi placed the book down and took the cup with a small smile, “Thank you.”

“Sure.”

They spoke late into the evening. About everything and about nothing at all. They held each other. They cried and they laughed. They did this all until Hinata was politely invited to leave. The spiker sighed and turned to Iwaizumi.

“I’m getting a hotel for the night. I'll come and see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I think you should go see your parents, Shō.”

“We have therapy tomorrow, though.”

Iwaizumi nodded slowly, “Okay. But we’re not spending our entire time in Japan doing this.”

Hinata smiled and kissed his cheek, “We’ll spend as long as we need to doing this. It’s important.”

Iwaizumi sighed and pressed a kiss to his lips, “Right.”

He stood and saw his fiance out, touching him as much as possible for as long as possible. Once the door closed heavily and locked loudly, hiding him from vision, Iwaizumi turned again and made his way back to his bed and table.

He laid heavily on the starchy blankets and stared intently at the ceiling for what felt like lifetimes. He wasn’t allowed his phone. He wasn’t allowed anything it felt like. He felt like a small child all over again, but at least that time the room he was contained to was clean. Too clean.

“Hey.”

He didn’t look at Akaashi, “You’re not real.”

“It sure feels that way sometimes.”

“Go away.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not real.”

“I told you I don’t care if you think I’m real or not.”

“What do you want?” Iwaizumi sighed and looked at him.

He stood in the doorway, book in hand and IV behind him. He looked like an honest to god ghost, nearly translucent. He held the book up and Iwaizumi threw himself back on the bed.

“Want to hear a poem?”

“Sure,” he said flatly.

Akaashi cleared his throat,  _ “Are you the new person drawn toward me? _

_ To begin with, take warning - I am surely far different from what you suppose;  _

_ Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal? _

_ Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?  _

_ Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy'd satisfaction?  _

_ Do you think I am trusty and faithful? _

_ Do you see no further than this façade—this smooth and tolerant manner of me?  _

_ Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?  _

_ Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?” _

“You done? Because it was long.”

“Yes, but it’s relevant.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“You’re just an illusion, too. You expect too much.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Akaashi stayed quiet for so long that Iwaizumi had to look up to be sure he was still there. Alas, when he looked he did indeed see Akaashi still in his doorway.

“Want to hear another one?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You always have a choice.”

“Fine. Let’s hear it.”

“It reminds me of Kōtarō. It makes me happy.”

“I already agreed.”

_ “I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone,  _

_ I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,  _

_ I am to see to it that I do not lose you.” _

“That’s sweet.”

“I know.”

“Why’d you leave when Hinata showed up? He thinks I’m crazy now.”

“You are crazy.”

Iwaizumi sighed loudly, “That isn’t an answer to my question.”

“Isn’t it, though? I couldn’t watch you deceive him.”

“Deceive him, huh?”

Iwaizumi placed a hand behind his head and looked at Akaashi as he stood with his book.

“Why don’t  _ you  _ tell him how crazy I am, then?”

Akaashi shrugged and held the book up, “I don’t want to lose my privileges.”

“Books are privileges?”

“Indeed they are. Always.”

“Maybe next time just let him see you.”

“I thought I’m not real?”

“I don’t know what you are.”

Akaashi shrugged, “I don’t want to give you what you want.”

“Not many do.”

“And I don’t blame them.”

Iwaizumi laughed, “Fair enough.”

Neither said anything for a long minute and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Akaashi shrugged.

“Want to come sit then? I’m sure your legs are struggling.”

“They would be if they were real,” Akaashi said, but the tremble in his knees broke his tough facade.

“Okay, collapse then.”

Akaashi slowly rolled his IV stand into the room and sat on the foot of the bed, hardly shifting the mattress, “You’re mean.”

“If you’re not real then that shouldn’t matter.”

“So, you’re only nice to avoid consequences?”

“No one would be nice if there weren’t consequences.”

Akaashi hummed and looked up at the clock, “Dinner is soon.”

“Yeah?”

“That means doctors.”

“For you.”

“For me,” Akaashi agreed. “I hate this.”

“Me too.”

“It’s your fault I’m here.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“No?”

Iwaizumi stared at the ceiling, “Hate me all you want. I’d rather you be unhappy than dead.”

“I will.”

Iwaizumi laughed and Akaashi stared down at him in shock, “What could  _ possibly  _ be funny right now?”

“Sorry, it’s just ironic. You were mad that I lied to Bokuto about you getting treatment, but here you are.”

“This isn’t treatment,” Akaashi stood and started hobbling towards the door, clutching his book tightly. “This is suicide prevention. Play the game and you get to go home.”

Iwaizumi sat up to watch him go, “Get better and you don’t have to come back.”

“Get better at hiding it, you mean,” Akaashi said.

“I don’t.”

Akaashi glanced at him before turning back, “You’ll see. This is life, Iwaizumi. It doesn’t go back to normal. Not ever.”

Iwaizumi sat fully up, “Why don’t you believe in yourself?”

Akaashi froze, “What?”

“Other people do, you know. Bokuto does.”

“I said not to say his name.”

“Okay, but it’s true. He hasn’t quit on you. Don’t you feel like you’re letting him down? Making him watch you slowly fade away from him?”

Akaashi gripped his IV stand until his knuckles went white, “You think I don’t know?”

“Do you know, though?”

“Why do you think I’m here, Iwaizumi? Nothing slow about the fast way out.”

Iwaizumi said nothing as he left. He laid back and stared at the ceiling until the nurse came and told him it was time for dinner, which he refused. Then, he laid there and stared at the ceiling until the nurse came and told him it was time to turn his light out. He sighed and curled into the starchy blanket in the darkness of the room.

He felt alone. He felt stupid. He felt evil. Mostly, he felt cold. He wished he’d remembered about his sweaters.

He woke the next morning to the sound of clattering silverware and the smell of breakfast. His stomach ached as he skipped dinner the night before. He slowly sat up and stretched his arms out just as a new nurse poked her head in the room.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Breakfast?” She held a tray up to him.

He nodded, “Please.”

She smiled and placed the food on his rolling table then left him to eat. He was almost finished by the time he sensed Akaashi in his doorway.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

Iwaizumi listened to the sound of his IV stand roll into the room, “Did you eat?”

“Yes. You woke up late.”

“You’re monitoring when I sleep?”

“I monitor everything.”

“Interesting. Would you like some of my rice?”

“No. I already ate.”

“Did you eat enough?”

“They make me eat three thousand calories a day. I ate enough.”

“Okay.”

He vaguely felt the bed shift slightly as Akaashi sat next to him. He still didn’t look at him as he continued eating.

“Still reading Walt?”

“No, I finished it.”

“What are you reading now?”

He heard him flip through some pages,  _ “The Great Gatsby.” _

Iwaizumi nodded and waited for what he already knew was coming.

_ “He smiled understandingly--much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life.” _

“Does that remind you of Bokuto, too?”

“Yes.  _ It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.” _

“You think a lot of him.”

“And I think of him a lot.”

Iwaizumi smiled as he finished his breakfast, “That’s good.”

“You don’t read about Hinata.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When you love someone enough they exist between all the lines.”

“When you love someone enough you do what you can to stay with them for as long as possible.”

“I told you I ate.”

“You also told me you’re playing the game.”

“I must’ve forgotten because of my diseased brain.”

Iwaizumi laughed down to his tray, “Must’ve been such.”

Akaashi slowly stood and Iwaizumi looked at him for the first time. He seemed better— not by much, but he had color to his skin. Maybe it was that he wasn’t wearing black, or maybe it was that his body was actually receiving something. Akaashi slowly started moving from the room but seemed to have a bit more strength.

“Hey, Akaashi.”

“What?”

Iwaizumi smiled as he didn’t stop to listen, “You look good today.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi laughed.

“Hello, men. I’m Doctor Jin Yori. I’m a psychiatrist and my job is to help Iwaizumi-san come to an understanding with what’s happening inside his brain. I look forward to working together.”

Hinata smiled and bowed lowly to him, “We appreciate your help, doctor.”

Iwaizumi bowed as well, “Yeah.”

“Maybe we should begin with some history. I see you’ve been previously diagnosed with C-PTSD but haven’t taken any medication.”

“That’s factual.”

“Have you suffered from flashbacks before?”

“No.”

“And we’re sure they’re flashbacks? They’re all things you’ve experienced before?”

“Uh,” Iwaizumi sat back and Hinata raised his eyebrows at him. “No.”

“What?” Hinata breathed.

“Could you elaborate, Iwaizumi-san?”

“We were staying with a friend and the night got very stressful and I ended up seeing some things that night.”

“What happened that made it stressful?”

Iwaizumi resisted the urge to look at Hinata, “A couple of friends ended up fighting. One of them decked the other one and broke his nose. His nose wouldn’t stop bleeding and he had to go to the hospital. Then the blood caused another friend to pass out. Then I went to check on the unconscious friend before bed and I ended up talking to their boyfriend and found out about the extensive details of their anorexia. That’s when I began seeing things.”

“That’s a lot,” the doctor muttered as he made notes. “What’d you see?”

“It’s hard to explain. Honestly, I don’t remember that well, either.”

“Just do your best. I understand that memory is strange especially with stressful events.”

“Right. The boyfriend seemed to turn into a snake. His eyes looked strange and he hissed as he spoke. His neck was like rubber, turning in ways it shouldn’t. The other friend… I think his face fully  _ disappeared.  _ It was as though he had a thick layer of white nylon over his face. That’s after his pupils melted and fell down his cheek like tears made of tar. And the sound. He screamed… He wailed. It was… horrifying.”

Hinata stared at him in horror as his voice broke down the more he spoke.

“That sounds intense.”

Iwaizumi nodded stiffly, arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“Have you experienced hallucinations that you’re aware of on any other occasions?”

“Um,” Iwaizumi thought. “Not that I’m entirely aware of. I have some suspicions but I have a hard time separating things. It’s so frustrating.”

“What are the suspicions?”

“Yesterday before I came here I saw myself, but younger. I watched him go through his youth basically. Just memories. They were real, but I was watching it instead of experiencing it.”

“When this happens do you hear the voices within your head or is it as if someone is actually speaking around you?”

“It’s like they’re living and breathing directly in front of me. I can touch them if I want. Interact with them. That’s why it’s confusing. If I wasn’t staring at my past self I wouldn’t have known.”

“I see. Okay.”

Hinata stared down at his folded hands in his lap. Iwaizumi’s tone was as if he was speaking of the weather. It was terrifying.

“When did this all begin?”

“Less than a week ago? I’m not sure. The days have been running into each other.”

Hinata nodded his agreement.

“Right,” the doctor said, still writing. “I think the best course of action is just to observe you while you’re in here. We’ll wait to see if this could be stress induced, because it sounds as though you’ve been having a hard time. Otherwise, we’ll dig further and see if there’s something more serious going on. It’s really good that you came in so early. When experiencing psychosis, you don’t want to wait.”

“Psychosis?” Hinata asked.

The doctor nodded, “Hallucinations and or delusions. Seeing, hearing or believing things that aren’t there or aren’t plausibly true.”

Hinata shifted in his seat, “So, if this  _ isn’t  _ just stress, what are we looking at?”

The doctor sat back and looked at Iwaizumi, “Is there a history of mental health issues in your family?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” he nodded and looked back to Hinata, “The first thing we would screen for is schizophrenia and major depression with psychotic features.”

“Psychotic sounds so  _ bad,”  _ Iwaizumi groaned.

“Don’t beat yourself up over this,” the doctor said. “Psychotic sounds worse than it is. The biggest problem with it is that it drives people to hurt themselves or others very quickly. Which is why it’s great that you’re here.”

“It does?” Hinata frowned.

“Yes,” the doctor said. “Not because people experiencing those symptoms are  _ evil  _ or  _ bad,  _ but it’s confusing and oftentimes terrifying. Delusions can make people believe certain things despite how clearly the evidence points to contrary things. It isn’t their fault. It’s just important these people seek help. So, again, I’m glad you’re here.”

Iwaizumi crossed his arms tighter, “Yeah. It’s great.”

“Don’t leave,” Iwaizumi sighed against Hinata’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to, Hajime. They’re making me.”

“I know,” he heaved.

“What’d you do last night?”

Iwaizumi tensed up a bit, but chose honesty. Hinata deserved that.

“Akaashi read me poems that remind him of Bokuto.”

“Oh.” It was Hinata’s turn to tense up.

“They were nice. He said that if you love someone enough they exist between the lines of every book.”

“That is nice,” Hinata said.

“I swear he’s here,” Iwaizumi breathed. “I swear.”

“Where is he?”

“He said he doesn’t want to give me what I want. Because I was mean to him.”

“Maybe we can go to his room and say hi.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “I don’t… know which one is his.”

“You don’t?”

“No, he comes to me,” he winced inwardly at how bad it sounded.

“Oh, okay. Maybe next time, then.”

“Oh, I know! Ask Bokuto. He’ll tell you!”

“No one can reach him.”

“What?”

“His phone is off and no one knows where he is. Kuroo said he kinda went off the wall and just disappeared. We’re worried about him. Has he been here?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “Akaashi said he needed to cool off before he was allowed here.”

Hinata nodded slowly, “Right.”

“Please believe me.”

“I believe you.”

Iwaizumi sighed and dug his forehead into Hinata’s shoulder. His fiance’s thin smile was a frail disguise. He gripped into his shirt tightly.

“Hinata-san? Time to go, please.”

“Yes, sorry. Hajime, I need to go.”

Iwaizumi sighed again, “Okay, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Hinata kissed his cheek. “See you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Hinata laughed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Iwaizumi clung to him until he couldn’t any longer. Then he watched him until the door closed heavily and locked loudly behind him. He sighed and pressed his hand against the door before turning and going back to his room.

He laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling until he sensed Akaashi standing in the doorway.

“How was lying to Hinata?”

“Not sure. I was nothing but honest. How’s  _ The Great Gatsby?” _

“Good.”

He moved his feet aside as Akaashi wheeled his IV into the room and sat lightly at the foot of the bed. He waited patiently for a quote as Akaashi flipped through the pages.

_ “I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused.” _

“Surely that doesn’t remind you of Bokuto.”

“No, it reminds me of you.”

“I’m disappointed. Give me a Bokuto quote.”

Akaashi stayed silent as he flipped through the pages again,  _ “If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him.” _

“I don’t understand that one.”

“It just means that he exudes success and that makes him very appealing.”

“Ah. That is a Bokuto quote.”

“Yes.”

Akaashi read while Iwaizumi stared at the ceiling. The silence grew so thickly in the room that he actually jumped when Akaashi spoke next.

“Dinner is soon.”

“That means doctors,” Iwaizumi said knowingly.

“For me,” Akaashi said.

“For you,” Iwaizumi agreed. “I hate it here.”

“Me too,” Akaashi laughed. “It’s your fault I’m here.”

“I’m not sorry,” Iwaizumi said.

“And I’ll hate you forever,” Akaashi said as he pulled himself up.

“Fine with me.”

He listened to Akaashi leave the room and sighed up to the ceiling. That time, when the nurse came to announce dinner, he accepted.

He ate his breakfast the next morning after once again waking up to silverware and the scent of food. He was mostly done once again when Akaashi wheeled his IV into the room and sat on his bed. Iwaizumi stared down at his food.

“You eat?”

“Yes.”

“No rice for you, then?”

“No.”

“What book do you have today?”

_ “For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway.” _

“Give me the quote.”

He spoke, but Akaashi was already flipping through the pages.

_ “I love thee and thou art so lovely and so wonderful and so beautiful and it does such things to me to be with thee that I feel as though I wanted to die when I am loving thee.” _

“You think of Bokuto a lot.”

“And I think a lot of him.”

“As it should be.”

“And it is such.”

“When will he come here?”

“Are you still afraid?”

“I welcome both his fists and the darkness that’ll greet me afterwards.”

Akaashi laughed, “At least you’ve accepted something.”

“I’ve accepted everything.”

Akaashi pulled himself up as he finished his breakfast, “Accept you’ll never be enough for Hinata, then.”

“I accepted that the day I met him,” Iwaizumi finally looked up at him.

He actually had pink in his face and life behind his eyes. Akaashi snorted amusedly before turning and walked with some sort of pep in his shuffle.

“Hey, Akaashi.”

“What?”

“You’re looking better.”

“Forget what I look like.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi laughed.

Hinata sat heavily in the leather armchair and reached out to take Iwaizumi’s hand.

“Sorry I was late, traffic was bad.”

“It’s okay,” Iwaizumi smiled. “You should really go see your parents while I’m being studied like the specimen I am.”

Hinata frowned and ran his thumb over his knuckles, “Don’t say that.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “Hey, uh, have you heard from Bokuto yet?”

Hinata shifted awkwardly, “Yeah. He texted Kuroo.”

“What’d he say?” Iwaizumi perked up.

Hinata ran his hand through his hair, “Just that he’s alive. Then he went awol again.”

“I see.”

“I tried asking the nurses,” Hinata whispered. “They told me they can’t tell me about other patients.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “It’s fine.”

Hinata crossed his ankle over his knee and rubbed anxiously at his neck, “I do think I’m going to go back to Miyagi until our next appointment. Just because I’m supposed to be entertaining guests and have stuck them on Suga and Daichi. Also on Asahi and Noya. I’m sure they don’t mind, bu—“

“You don’t need to justify anything,” Iwaizumi kissed his knuckles.

“Thanks,” Hinata breathed.

“I think the nurses will let us call.”

“That’d be nice,” Hinata smiled. “Are you doing okay while I’m gone? What do you do?”

“Uh,” Iwaizumi considered lying to make it seem less bleak, but knew that wasn’t the smartest move. “Wait to sleep, basically.”

“Why don’t you do things with the other patients? I saw an activity sheet.”

“I’m good,” Iwaizumi grimaced and glanced at a girl across the room.

“Try and be social, Hajime. You can’t isolate yourself for the entire time you’re in here. It’s not good for you.”

“I mean, I talk to Akaa—“ He paused, knowing that Hinata wasn’t convinced.

“Yeah,” Hinata nodded, suddenly interested in how his laces laid over each other. “I mean with other people, too.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“Good,” Hinata smiled and squeezed his hand.

They settled in and spoke, holding each other’s hands for as long as physically possible.

“Hinata-san,” the nurse warned for the last time.

He sighed and leaned forward, taking Iwaizumi’s face in both hands and pressed a tender kiss to his mouth.

“I love you so much, okay? Call me. I’ll answer whenever. I promise.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi forced a smile. “Tell your family I said hello.”

“I will,” Hinata kissed him again, then twice more. “I love you.”

“I love you, Shō. So much.”

“I love you, too,” he kissed him again.

“Hinata Shōyō,” the nurse warned again. “You two can call, but you need to leave now. Visiting time was over twenty five minutes ago.”

Hinata sighed again and Iwaizumi clung to his hand all the way to the door. Iwaizumi sighed heavily as the door closed heavily and locked loudly behind him. He patted the cold surface of the door before turning to go back to his room.

Only, that time he didn’t get that far. He squinted into the brightness of the large window at the end of the hall until he could work out Akaashi’s silhouette. He then slowly made his way over to him.

“What are you doing?”

Akaashi squinted into the sun, “I miss outside.”

Iwaizumi also stared down into the courtyard outside, “Yeah, me too.”

“I get my IV out tonight,” Akaashi smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah. But I have to start drinking about a million  _ Ensures  _ a day.”

“Sounds fun.”

“No,” Akaashi laughed. “Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.”

They stared out the window for a long moment, wanting to feel the breeze that shook the trees on their skin. Iwaizumi eventually spoke again.

“Want to join in on puzzle night?”

“I’d rather die,” Akaashi said with zero hesitation.

Iwaizumi laughed, “Yeah, me too.”

Akaashi’s face slowly turned sad as he frowned, “I miss Kōtarō. I wonder what he’s doing.”

“I’m not sure,” Iwaizumi said. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Akaashi muttered, taking his IV stand in his hand as he turned away. “Yeah, I’m sure he is.”

Iwaizumi frowned and watched as he walked away, a definitive slump to his shoulders before turning back and going to his room. He laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling until the nurse came and brought him dinner. He bowed and thanked her then watched her leave. He turned to his tray and pulled the lid off of it.

“Time for dinner,” he whispered to himself. “That means doctors.”

He went the entire next day without seeing Akaashi at all. He didn’t show up with a different book to read Bokuto quotes out of. Nor did he sit in the common area, nor did he look out the window and speak of how he wished he could leave. Iwaizumi ate breakfast, lunch and dinner alone in his room, or otherwise staring up at the ceiling thinking about home— Thinking about Hinata. He would’ve loved to hear a Bokuto quote, because Bokuto quotes were Hinata quotes. Sure, Iwaizumi didn’t read, but it was nice to hear about him through someone else’s words coming from someone else’s mouth. He glanced at the clock and wondered how the doctors went at dinner time for Akaashi. Then, he wondered what Hinata ate and who he ate it with. He wondered if he was laughing with his family the way he deserved. He wondered if he thought of him. By the time he remembered he was able to call, it was too late in the day to use the phone. He sighed heavily to the ceiling just as the nurse came to tell him it was time to turn the light out.

He woke late the next morning to the nurse coming in with breakfast. He sighed heavily and thanked her, laying there until she left. Then he continued laying there long after she was gone. He kept his arm over his eyes as depression weighed heavily on his chest.

“Did you eat?”

He kept his eyes covered, “No.”

“You should eat your rice.”

“I don’t want to.”

“If I have to then you have to, too. It’s your fault I’m here.”

Iwaizumi groaned and moved his hand before squinting into the light, “You’re not even real. Stop complaining.”

“Why do you get to tell me I’m not real?” Akaashi asked. “That’s my decision.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Eat your breakfast,” Akaashi said, sitting at the foot of the bed.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily as he sat up then removed the lid from the tray, “Careful, you’ll make me think you care.”

“Isn’t that what I’m good at? Making people trust me just to ultimately destroy them?”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi muttered as he started at his breakfast. “What book do you have today?”

_ “As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner.” _

“Macabre. Quote.”

Flitting pages. The sound brought Iwaizumi comfort.

_ “It's like it ain't so much what a fellow does, but it's the way the majority of folks is looking at him when he does it.” _

Iwaizumi said nothing as he forced food into his mouth, quitting halfway through. He leaned onto the table and rested his face in his hands.

“Where were you yesterday?”

“Crying.”

“All day?”

“All day.”

“You cry a lot.”

“Maybe so. To feel is to live.”

“You’re not living.”

“None of us really are.”

“Some of us are.”

“Hinata?”

“And Bokuto.”

“A somber thought that both are tied endlessly to walking corpses.”

“One corpse, one dead man walking.”

“At least I don’t have a death sentence.”

“At least my heart’s still beating.”

“Hardly.”

“At least there’s a chance.”

“Are you saying there’s no hope for me?” Akaashi snorted.

“Not if you don’t try.”

Akaashi stood and Iwaizumi finally looked up at him. He wore a large sweater that was distinctly not his. The purple under his eyes was beginning to fade. Then he turned to leave, no IV stand to drag around.

“Hey, Akaashi.”

“Yeah?”

“You look better without an IV.”

“Focus on your last walk.”

“Death row?”

“Walk on, dead man.”

Iwaizumi cracked the smallest smile as he left, “Okay.”

_ “Hello?” _

“Shōyō.”

_ “Oh, my god! Hey! How’s it going? I missed you yesterday.” _

“Sorry. Time got away from me.”

_ “Having fun? Did you join in some activities?” _

Iwaizumi glanced at the activity sheet just to his left, “No.”

_ “Oh. What did you do?” _

“Nothing, really. What about you?”

_ “We just watched movies. My mom loves Ryan. It’s hilarious. She says he has a funny face and kept pinching his cheeks. Never thought I’d see him so flustered.” _

Iwaizumi ghosted out a laugh and leaned onto his elbows, “That sounds so good.”

_ “Yeah! Actually, they want to say hi, is that okay?” _

“Sure.”

_ «Iwaizumi!»  _ Ryan called.  _ «How’s the looney bin?» _

_ «Holy shit, don’t say that,»  _ Cole yelled.

Iwaizumi laughed, «Rough, I won’t lie.»

_ «Can’t wait for you to get outta there,»  _ Ryan said.  _ «There’s no one here to keep Cole in check.» _

_ «Me?»  _ Cole shouted.

Iwaizumi laughed again, wrapping his finger in the chord, just happy to hear their voices.

He once again stared at the ceiling. He knew exactly how many tiles were on the ceiling. Nineteen. Technically seventeen and a half as three were only half panels. The light hazed in and out of intensity as his eyelids wavered. His body stood at attention as he sensed Akaashi in the doorway.

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Why do you come in here?”

“Why can’t I?”

“I didn’t say you can’t. I asked why.”

“Because I want to.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Okay.”

That time Akaashi didn’t sit at the foot of the bed. He walked over to Iwaizumi’s head and leaned into his field of vision. He sipped on an ensure from a straw and stared curiously down at him.

“I’m starting to think you’re sadder than me.”

“I didn’t cry for an entire day.”

“At least I was doing something while I was crying. You just do nothing all day.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Cry.”

“I’m good.”

Akaashi leaned back out of his eyesight but otherwise didn’t move as he sipped his nutrition drink. Iwaizumi sighed and turned over in his bed to stare at him.

“No book?”

“I didn’t want to hold both.”

“Right. That’d be a lot of work.”

Akaashi shook the bottle at him, “It’s vanilla.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Why? Vanilla is the most vanilla flavor.”

“Then why brag?”

“I wasn’t. I was trying to include you in my anguish.”

“Thanks for thinking of me.”

Akaashi stared down at him as he sipped, “Am I real yet?”

“I thought that was your decision.”

“Want to know why I don’t eat?”

“Sure.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow at him as he chewed on his straw. Then, he smiled widely, disturbing Iwaizumi to the core of his being. The way the light shone behind his head cast his face in darkness. The sound of silverware came from the hall and Akaashi turned to look at the clock.

“Oh, I didn’t realize.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Iwaizumi rolled back over.

“Uh huh,” Akaashi drawled as he turned to leave. “Doctor time.”

“For you.”

“For me,” he said as he turned the corner.

Iwaizumi woke very early the next day. He smelled no breakfast and heard no cutlery. He yawned and stretched before checking the clock.

6:21AM

He sighed heavily and stood, putting his slippers on before heading to the bathroom. His eyes went to the end of the hall, half expecting Akaashi to be standing at the window but saw no such thing. When he came out from the bathroom, he went to the window and stared out.

He continued staring when the rain started and he still stared as the sun came up. The sky never truly lightened as the clouds were too heavy before the sun and the rain pounded harshly against the glass.

“What are you doing?”

“Watching.”

Akaashi stood next to him, chewing on a new straw in a new drink and joined him in watching the rain. Neither said anything until the thunder started.

“What flavor do you have today?”

“Strawberry.”

“How do you like that one?”

“It’s my favorite.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“That still doesn’t mean it’s good.”

“Of course not.”

The lightning struck again and Iwaizumi counted to seven before the thunder rolled out.

“No book?”

“No.”

“Do you have a quote anyway?”

Akaashi thought for a moment and Iwaizumi could almost hear the flittering pages.

_ “I remember meeting you, Hall," Nathan said. "I knew right away you were a good guy." _

_ "I don't know if I was," I said. "Maybe I just ended up becoming what you wanted me to be. If that's the case, I thank you for it.” Michael Panush.” _

“I like that one.”

“I do, too.”

Iwaizumi glanced at him in the glass, the puffiness in his face was going away. It made him look more skeletal, but at least his cells were no longer leaking. He looked away and back out the window.

“No compliment today?” Akaashi laughed around his straw.

Iwaizumi shrugged and turned to go back to his room, “What is there to say?”

“Nothing more than there will be tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the one after that.”

“Tomorrow is a relative term,” Iwaizumi muttered. “We’ll never get there. All there is is today.”

_ “Hajime! I love you!” _

“I love you, too. How was your day?”

_ “Great! We Facetimed Jackson’s wife. She’s so funny!” _

“Weird that he’s married. He’s younger than us, you know.”

_ “Right? They seem so happy, though! She seems to love him very much.” _

“I’m very glad for them.”

_ “What’d you do?” _

“Nothing, really.”

_ “Have you talked to the other patients yet?” _

“No. Not yet.”

_ “You really should! They may surprise you!” _

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

_ “Right. Just give it a shot. How bad could it be?” _

“Bad.”

Hinata sighed,  _ “Are you doing okay?” _

“Yeah. Are you?”

_ “Yeah, it’s okay.” _

“Have you heard from him yet?”

_ “No. Kuroo said it isn’t worth waiting for. He’ll come around when he’s ready.” _

“But  _ why?  _ Where is he? Why’d he go there? If Akaashi isn’t with him then surely he’s here, right?”

_ “Oh,”  _ Hinata said.  _ “Honestly, that’s a really good point.” _

“See?” Iwaizumi breathed with a smile, “I told you to believe me.”

_ “And I told you I do believe you.” _

Iwaizumi smiled broadly at his easy tone. He missed that. He missed that so much.

Iwaizumi woke happily the next morning, throwing his blanket off of himself and walking to the nurses’ station to greet them before going to the bathroom. When he came out he spotted Akaashi in the common area, curled on the couch with a straw between his teeth and a book between his fingers. He all but skipped over and sat heavily in the chair by his head.

“Good morning!”

Akaashi glanced up from his book, eyeing him uneasily then spoke around his straw, “Why are you so happy? It looks bad on you.”

“You can’t ruin my good mood.”

“Why? What happened to you? I think there’s a ceiling to be stared at in your room.”

“I realized something.”

“What?”

“You’re real.”

“I thought that was my decision.”

Iwaizumi clapped his hands together, “If Bokuto isn’t with you that means you have to be here.”

“Why does it mean that?” Akaashi asked, gnawing on his straw and not looking up from his book.

“Because? Where else would you be?”

“Dead.”

“What?”

Akaashi looked up at him with a faint smile, “Maybe I succeeded. Maybe you killed me.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “Okay, maybe you can ruin my good mood.”

“It’s too easy,” Akaashi looked back down. “You’re too crazy. Anything could be real.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Iwaizumi sat back with that familiar heavy feeling on his chest. “You’re crazy, too, though.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Yeah.”

He watched Akaashi tear through the pages of his book as he sipped at his drink.

“What flavor do you have this time?”

“Chocolate.”

“Better than vanilla?”

“And worse than strawberry.”

“What book are you reading?”

He held up the incredibly thick book, “ _ Stephen King, 11/22/63.” _

“That one will last you at least two days.”

“It’s one of my favorites. I’ve read it five times already.”

“What’s your favorite quote?”

“Bokuto or otherwise?”

“Favorite. All time.”

_ “Stupidity is one of the two things we see most clearly in retrospect. The other is missed chances.” _

Iwaizumi hummed and leaned forward, “And Bokuto?”

_ “But I believe in love, you know; love is a uniquely portable magic. I don’t think it’s in the stars, but I do believe that blood calls to blood and mind calls to mind and heart to heart.” _

“Wow, you don’t even need to turn the pages.”

“I could quote this book until my breath ran out.”

“Do another one. The most impressive one you can think of.”

Akaashi thought for a second, “There’s two.”

“Say both.”

“Okay,” he smiled as he played with the corner of the page. “The first is;  _ ‘For a moment everything was clear, and when that happens you see that the world is barely there at all. Don't we all secretly know this? It's a perfectly balanced mechanism of shouts and echoes pretending to be wheels and cogs, a dreamclock chiming beneath a mystery-glass we call life. Behind it? Below it and around it? Chaos, storms. Men with hammers, men with knives, men with guns. Women who twist what they cannot dominate and belittle what they cannot understand. A universe of horror and loss surrounding a single lighted stage where mortals dance in defiance of the dark.’” _

“Wow,” Iwaizumi sunk into the weight of it for a moment. “And the second?”

_ “We did not ask for this room or this music. We were invited in. Therefore, because the dark surrounds us, let us turn our faces to the light. Let us endure hardship to be grateful for plenty. We have been given pain to be astounded by joy. We have been given life to deny death. We did not ask for this room or this music. But because we are here, let us dance.” _

“That’s the most positive thing I’ve heard you say in a long time and they weren’t even your words.”

“Yeah,” Akaashi sat up and closed the book. “Nothing really belongs to anyone.”

Iwaizumi didn’t want him to go yet. His words still weighed heavily on his mind.

“You aren’t really dead, are you?”

“You said it yourself,” Akaashi stood and started walking away. “I’m a corpse. Are you still coming to my funeral or are you going to be stuck in here still?”

“Hey, Akaashi.”

Akaashi stopped and turned, straw hanging from his lips, “Yeah?”

Iwaizumi examined the way his skin wore nice color. His eyes were less sunken in and he appeared decently rested.

“You’re doing great.”

“Your approval means nothing to me.”

Iwaizumi smiled after him, “Okay.”

He tried calling Hinata, but they only spoke for all of thirty seconds before he had to go. It was his own fault for not calling sooner. He would’ve, but he had to meet with a therapist. He supposed it happened. He and Hinata faced harder challenges of distance and communication, they’d survive a day or two. He once again laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling, counting the tiles over and over and over and over and over and over—

“This is more like you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Evidently not.”

“Why do you insist on torturing me?”

“You’re a bad person.”

“Yeah, I guess. Better than being dead.”

“Debatable. At least being dead means you hurt people for the last time.”

“Fair enough.”

“Do you want to look out the window after doctors with me?”

“Why can’t you look out the window yourself?”

“It’s nice to hurt with someone else.”

“This is the problem with us.”

_ “That’s  _ the problem? I thought  _ my _ brain was supposed to be mush.”

Iwaizumi snorted but otherwise didn’t respond.

“Is that a no?”

“It’s a no.”

“You know, you should spend time with me while you can.”

“What?”

“You’ll miss me when I go away.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away. When you start your antipsychotic medication.”

“Stop.”

“What?” Akaashi walked forward and leaned over him. “Being mean is only okay when you do it?”

“You’re aggravating my condition on purpose.”

“And what were you doing to me over the phone? Or when you lied to Kōtarō?”

“Caring for you.”

“I thought caring for me is a mistake?”

“It is. Get out of my room.”

“Okay,” Akaashi said before doing just that. “See you at the window after doctors.”

Iwaizumi refused dinner in favor of counting the tiles on the ceiling.

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. _

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. _

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. _

_ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. _

He sighed and gazed at the clock before dragging himself out of the bed. He peeked down the hall and saw Akaashi standing at the window as promised. The low sun cast gold down the hallway save for where Akaashi’s shadow cast only blackness.

Iwaizumi slowly trudged over to him and stared into the sunset. Akaashi didn’t look at him and he didn’t look at Akaashi. Iwaizumi simply stared forward with his hands in his pockets while Akaashi drank an  _ Ensure.  _ They stayed that way until the sun turned into a red blotch just below the horizon.

_ “I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house. Nathaniel Hawthorne.” _

“But here we are. Indoors.”

“I thought you weren’t coming to the window.”

“I got bored of tiles.”

“Tiles do get boring.”

“How can a dead man be bored of anything?”

“Eternity turns long after some time.”

Iwaizumi hummed.

“I must say I’m offended you're not more upset by my death.”

“Much like all the others you know, I’ve been mourning you for a while.”

Akaashi hummed that time, “I wonder who misses me.”

“More than you know,” Iwaizumi turned before going back in the direction of his room. “And they all blame themselves.”

Once he was there, he did something he didn’t understand just the day before. He cried. Then he cried some more. And when he thought he was done with that, he did it all over again.

The next morning he woke with a scratchy throat and swollen eyes. He refused breakfast. He didn’t even attempt to get out of bed despite his full bladder. Then when Akaashi materialized in his doorway, he just turned over to face the wall with his blanket to his nose. The starchy texture was growing on him.

“Get up.”

Silence.

“It’s nearly noon.”

Silence.

“Iwaizumi. Get up.”

“Leave me alone, corpse bride.”

“Who pissed in your cereal?”

“I said leave me alone.”

Iwaizumi sighed after a long stretch of silence and glanced at Akaashi who stared at him as he sipped on a goddamn  _ Ensure.  _ He rolled his eyes and stared back at the wall for a moment before closing his eyes again.

_ “Go. Away.” _

“Why?”

“Why the hell are you just watching me?”

“Because it’s perfect.”

“What?” Iwaizumi heaved.

“You look so sad.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Akaashi moved into the room and sat at the foot of his bed, “You should really get up. You’ll rot there.”

“I thought that’d make you happy?”

“The sun is out,” Akaashi said like he was offering him something.

“So? We can’t go outside.”

“Yeah, but there’s the window.”

“I’m sick of the window. It’ll just be the same yard with the same flowers and the same cars parked in the same spots.”

“Better than the same tiles on the ceiling.”

“That’s why my eyes are closed.”

“Why don’t you call Hinata?”

“Why don’t you  _ go away?” _

Akaashi fell silent for a long minute, the only sound in the room being his suction on his straw. Normally it’d annoy Iwaizumi but he was just glad he was getting consistent nutrients.

“I wish I could call Kōtarō.”

“Why can’t you? Just do it.”

“He doesn’t pick up.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t ask because he won’t pick up.”

Iwaizumi frowned as Akaashi laid back over his shins. He looked down at the way he held the small bottle between his large hands over his chest and stared at the ceiling.

“For someone who hates me so much you sure are clingy.”

“I don’t have anyone,” Akaashi muttered as he sat up. “Probably because I drag everyone down. Good note, though.”

Iwaizumi watched him leave the room and shut his eyes again, but sleep was far from him. He reluctantly got up and went to the bathroom, then went to go to the phone before frowning at it. He retracted his hand before shoving them into his pockets and going to the window. He didn’t want to talk to Hinata. He didn’t deserve to hear his voice. He deserved to stare out at the same, unchanging scene from that window forever with Akaashi Keiji repeating his hateful words back to him.

He stayed there for what must’ve been hours, rotating through self loathing thoughts. By the time he was about ready to try and break through the shatterproof glass to rid the world of the scum that was him, Akaashi materialized beside him. Iwaizumi looked at him in the glass. He wore overly large sweatpants and another one of what he had to assume was Bokuto’s sweaters.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Where’d you go?”

“To cry.”

“I hear you.”

Akaashi blinked heavily at the window before scratching his cheek, “Why were you so mean to me on the phone?”

“Because I’m an asshole.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“Because I cared for you. And you were being mean to me. And I didn’t understand why.”

“You lied to Kōtarō. You got his hopes up.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know that then, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I genuinely thought you told me that. I thought a lot of things. So, I assumed you were just being crazy. And I got scared because  _ I  _ didn’t want to be crazy. I didn’t want to think about being truly lost to myself. I still don’t.”

Akaashi sighed heavily, “We’re both crazy.”

“I think everyone is kinda crazy.”

“Not everyone sees things, though,” Akaashi muttered. “And not everyone feels the need to rip their skin off if they’re one tenth of a pound over how much they want to weigh.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “It isn’t crazy. It just… isn’t normal.”

“What’s the difference?”

Iwaizumi blinked down to the parking lot where someone got in their car, “The only thing wrong with us is that our brains want us to hurt ourselves. And sometimes we don’t take information in the right way. But the fact that we’re still here… I don’t know. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“It means the universe is cruel with an even crueler sense of humor.”

“I just think that if we learned to live like this that maybe we can learn to live normally again.”

Akaashi hummed flatly.

“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you. Whether or not I said those things out of anger, they weren’t okay. And I genuinely deserve for you to repeat those words back to me forever. But…” He paused. “I wish you wouldn’t. Only because every time you repeat them it hurts you more.”

“Don’t start caring now, Iwaizumi.”

“You’re still really smart. And for the very real damage you’ve done to your brain… I think that says a lot for the person you must’ve been before I met you.”

Akaashi scrunched his face up as he stared at the sky, “That person is dead.”

“And so are you,” Iwaizumi breathed.

Akaashi wrapped his arms tightly around himself as he sniffed, “No. I’m living, breathing. My heart is beating. My soul is yearning. My brain is hurting. I am here. And I want to be here.  _ I don’t want to die.” _

Iwaizumi’s head snapped up to him and watched the tears roll slowly down his face.

“The only reason I want to go is so I’ll stop hurting everyone. I just don’t know how else to stop. I want Kōtarō to be happy and I can’t see that happening while I’m—“ His voice got higher the longer he spoke until it broke. “While I’m still around.”

Iwaizumi let out a slow exhale before turning back towards the window, “He lives and dies with you. That much is obvious.”

“You don’t know that.”

“For every thing you don’t see, I see twice.”

Akaashi glanced at him through teary eyes, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you really want to die?”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I just want out of my head. Whatever that means. If pills fix it, then fine. I can’t keep living not knowing if I’m really living or not. Not knowing if I’m actually talking to someone or not. Not knowing if when I go home to my too good to be true fiance if I’m really going home to him. Because you know what they say.”

Akaashi whispered, “What?”

“If it seems too good to be true, it is.”

The marinated in silence for a long moment and Iwaizumi’s throat stuck together when he went to speak again.

“I can’t keep living not knowing if I’m really living. Whatever ends that, ends it. I don’t mind so much. Because as far as I’m truly aware of right now, there’s nothing to actually live for.”

“You really don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“What’s real and what isn’t?”

Iwaizumi glanced at him, “You know how you look in the mirror and see a bunch of body fat that definitely doesn’t exist on your body?”

Akaashi nodded slightly.

“That’s how everything is— all the time. For all I know, you’re not really standing there and I’m just here speaking to myself with my brain creating whatever I need to hear to make sense of whatever I’m going through. It’s certainly done that before.”

“Oh,” Akaashi breathed as he gripped his sweater tighter. “I’m real, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “Maybe. But that’s up to you.”

They stood in silence for a moment before Iwaizumi turned back around and started off to his room.

“How can I prove it to you?”

Iwaizumi shrugged again, “Have Bokuto come kill me.”

Iwaizumi refused breakfast yet again and immediately went back to sleep. He woke some time around four in the evening to the sound of men talking just outside his ‘door’.

“You need to behave if you’re going to be here.”

“I  _ am  _ behaving. I just want to talk.”

Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed at the familiar voice. Someone doesn’t forget the voice that threatens their life to defend their lover’s honor. Despite the very real danger his body was picking up on, he simply slid his eyes shut once again. If Bokuto was going to kill him, then he could.

“Hey, fucker.”

Iwaizumi said nothing.

“At least look at me while I tear you apart.”

Iwaizumi sighed and turned over in his bed, blanket still pulled to his chin as he stared up at Bokuto with weary eyes. The spiker shook his head as he glared and then crouched right in front of his face.

“You’re a stupid piece of shit, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Bokuto frowned, “What?”

“I said I know. Do what you need to do.”

He clearly wasn’t expecting that response and he pushed himself back by the bed and stared strangely at Iwaizumi.

“What’s going on?”

“Look at where you are, Bokuto-san. I know I’m a terrible person. That’s why I’m here.”

“I— This wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“I hurt Akaashi. I deserve to be hurt, too. But emotionally, the same as him. I’m not worth catching a case for.”

Bokuto frowned deeper and sat on the floor then stared up at him, “I’m not sure what to say.”

“You’re too soft to hurt others. That’s admirable. You’re a better man than I could ever hope to be.”

Bokuto placed his chin in his hands as he blinked at Iwaizumi, “Tell me something.”

“What’s that?”

“How is Keiji?”

“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?”

“I’m not allowed to see him. Honestly, I don’t really want to.”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, “Why?”

Bokuto rubbed his hands together as he looked away and out there door, likely in the hopes of catching a glimpse, “During his questioning when I admitted him, he told the doctors that he stopped eating as a form of gaining control over his life again.”

“Yeah? That’s why a lot of anorexic people do it.”

“It’s my fault. I think I’m a trigger for him. I made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. I left him. I made him feel like he didn’t have any control.”

“You can’t blame yourself for other people’s actions.”

Bokuto shrugged, “I do, though.”

Iwaizumi closed his eyes again, “So, you’re not going to murder me after all?”

“It seems like you’re punishing yourself enough.”

It was true. Every time he shut his eyes he saw Akaashi crying and saying  _ ‘I don’t want to die’ ‘I don’t want to die’ ‘I don’t want to die’ ‘I don't want to die’. _

“So, he’s really here then?”

“Huh?”

“Akaashi? He’s really in this hospital with me?”

“Yes?”

“And when I open my eyes how will  _ your _ eyes look?”

“What?”

“Or maybe you won’t be there at all. Just a series of small feathers where you once sat.”

“I’m… confused, Iwaizumi.”

“I don’t think you’re really here.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because how would you know to be here? All the sudden Akaashi wants to prove he’s real and I tell him to send you to kill me. Then low and behold, here you sit. What are the odds of that? After you haven’t answered your phone for this long? It just seems unlikely.”

“I’m real.”

Iwaizumi turned over in his bed, feeling a dreadful energy coming off the man. He didn’t want to open his eyes and confirm or deny his suspicions. He heard Bokuto stand behind him.

“How do I prove that I’m real?”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “Interact with someone.”

“I was literally just speaking to the doctor. Remember?”

“I didn’t know that doctor. He was fake, too.”

“What if I called Hinata on my phone?”

“It’s just part of you.”

“Okay,” Bokuto looked around. “What if Hinata  _ came  _ here?”

“How do I know if he  _ really  _ came here?”

“I’m… not sure.”

“Me neither.”

“Shit, man.”

“Goodnight, Bokuto-san. Thanks for not killing me. For your sake, not mine.”

“My sake?”

“You don’t belong in prison.”

Bokuto paused, “It’s too early for bed.”

“I’m tired, though,” Iwaizumi pulled the blanket further up around himself, feeling Bokuto’s heavy stare. “You should see Akaashi. He misses you so much.”

Bokuto sighed heavily, “Hey, man. Is there, like, anything you need? I can go get you something. Food? Drink?”

“Thanks but no thanks. I just want to sleep.”

“Okay,” Bokuto frowned. “See you, man.”

Iwaizumi said nothing as he kept his eyes shut and waited until he couldn’t hear Bokuto for any longer. He didn’t need any more proof than his basic reasoning skills to know that Bokuto wasn’t really there— and by extension, neither was Akaashi.

He woke for dinner when the nurse woke him and encouraged him to eat. He sat slowly and removed the lid from his tray and stared down at the food.

“Doctors,” he muttered before picking up his chopsticks and forcing at least some of it down.

He toyed with it for a long while before Akaashi showed up. Iwaizumi didn’t look at him.

“Hey.”

Iwaizumi pushed his rice around, drawing different designs in it.

“Iwaizumi?”

Iwaizumi blinked heavily at his food, wishing he was still asleep.

“Did you see Kōtarō?”

He sighed and pushed the table away before pulling the blanket back over himself and facing the wall. He heard Akaashi enter further into the room.

“I had to go down to the cardiologist while he was here, so it lined up. He’s still not allowed to see me. They think he’s a trigger. Isn’t that silly?”

Iwaizumi shut his eyes and tried to ignore him. Surely if he ignored him hard enough he’d simply evaporate.

“It’s more like being away from him, that's the trigger,” Akaashi mused.

Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut harder. When several moments passed and he still sensed Akaashi behind him he sighed and turned to look at him hopefully for the last time.

He wore grey sweatpants and a navy long sleeved t-shirt. His hands were clasped behind his back as he stared down at Iwaizumi. For once, he held nothing. His pants hung over his hip bones as he wasn’t awarded the privilege of a drawstring and his stomach bloated out into his shirt. His hair shined in a way Iwaizumi had never seen before and his eyes had something akin to fire behind them.

“Go away.”

“Do you really want me to leave you alone?”

Iwaizumi took his face in again. His hollowed cheeks, his sunken eyes and the dark circles beneath them. The life that coursed beneath his skin. His eyelashes weighing down his lids. The minute downwards twitch of the corners of his mouth. His lips were pink, not blue. He was healing. Even if it was only in his head, that felt nice. He turned back to the wall and pulled the blanket tightly around himself.

“Yes.”

Akaashi said nothing for a long moment before offering a quiet, “Okay.”

Iwaizumi listened to him leave the room with tightly shut eyes and a very, very heavy feeling upon his chest.

He didn’t see Akaashi at all the next day. Nor the day after that. Window, couch and room were all void of the man. Even if Iwaizumi got up and stood by the window for a long while, Akaashi did not apparate as he once did. He didn’t come with an  _ Ensure  _ or any quotes. He didn’t come with any confusing musing about life, wants, or reminisces of Bokuto. He didn’t speak about how he wanted to be outside, feeling the sun on his skin without the mediating glass of the window. He didn’t speak about how it was time for doctors. He didn’t speak about anything, because he couldn’t. He did precisely as he was asked to do, and went away. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but wonder as he stared out into the parking lot, hearing the ghost of Akaashi in his brain comment on the way some of the cars were in different spots that day. He wondered if it would always be so easy to get rid of visions. He wondered if he just asked them to go if they would. That’d make life a whole lot easier.

The next morning, the nurse came into the room.

“Iwaizumi-san?”

“Hello,” he said to the wall, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Would you like breakfast? You must be starving.”

“No, thanks.”

“You should really eat.”

“No, thank you.”

“He’ll eat, please. I’ll make sure.”

Iwaizumi’s ears pricked at the sound of Hinata’s voice. He slowly sat up and turned, met with the face of an angel. The nurse placed the tray on the rolling table then quickly departed. Hinata wore burgundy jean shorts, a white button up shirt with short sleeves, black sneakers and  _ orange hair.  _ He also got a haircut. Not much. Just a trim. But it was beautiful.

“You look amazing.”

Hinata strained a smile, “I wish I could say the same. When’s the last time you showered?”

Iwaizumi frowned. When  _ was  _ the last time he showered? He eagerly sat up as Hinata sat at the foot of the bed after removing his shoes and then crossed his legs. Iwaizumi eagerly leaned forward onto his hands and smiled as he stared at his face, missing his amber eyes.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too! Why’d you stop calling?”

Iwaizumi frowned, not remembering what was keeping him from hearing that phenomenal voice.

“I’m not sure.”

“That’s okay,” Hinata smiled. “I’m here, now. Tell me about your days.”

“This,” he gestured vaguely to the room.

Hinata nodded and leaned into his palm, “Did Bokuto come see you?”

“Huh?”

“He came back to Kuroo’s. He asked where you were and Kuroo told him that you’re here. Then, he vowed to come here and murder you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“They wouldn't let me call you. I guess you needed to call me.”

“Oh. So… he was actually here?”

“You tell me. I see you’re still alive.”

Iwaizumi averted his gaze, “Do you know why he wants to kill me?”

Hinata sighed, “Yeah. He told me.”

“Why are you still here, then?”

“Because I know that isn’t who you are. You’ve just been stressed out. Things are changing and you got attached to a volatile person. That isn’t helpful when you’re already in a precarious position.”

“You’re too understanding.”

“No,” Hinata laughed. “Not at all.”

Iwaizumi frowned down to the sheets, “Bokuto was really here. Does that mean Akaashi is, too?”

“I thought we already agreed that Akaashi is here?”

Iwaizumi turned to his breakfast and took the lid off to start forcing it down, “He told me he’s dead. But then he told me he’s real. But then he told me he isn’t again. Then he told me he doesn't want to die. I don’t know what’s real.”

Hinata frowned and moved to the edge of the bed, “It sounds like being near him isn’t helping you. He’s probably angry.”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I don’t mind.”

“I think you should.”

He pushed his rice around, “If he’s being mean that means he’s still living. Unless he isn’t, I guess.”

“Akaashi isn’t dead. Bokuto would’ve… I’m not sure what he’d do, but it wouldn’t be good. He disappeared for days just because he was hospitalized. No one even knows where he went.”

“To a funeral,” Iwaizumi suggested.

“No,” Hinata said sternly. “Maybe we can find him before our appointment.”

“Maybe. I told him to go away, though. But he’s probably reading. Or maybe he’s by the window.”

“I didn’t see him coming in.”

“Surprising.”

He choked down half of his breakfast before they got up. Iwaizumi’s head spun both from lack of proper nutrition and not really using his body for days. He used the washroom, then peeked down to the window where the morning light shone uninterrupted all the way down until it hit his face. He then turned to the common area and didn’t see Akaashi there, either.

He sighed, “I don’t know. I think I’m just crazy.”

“Let’s take a walk and see if we can find his room,” Hinata suggested.

Iwaizumi’s shoulders slumped but he nodded as he followed along. They peeked discreetly into all the rooms until the reached where the hall met the common area on the opposite side of the ward from Iwaizumi. He gazed wearily at the last door on the left, the only room left to look into.

“He won’t be in there.”

“Don’t be so quick to say so,” Hinata muttered, but Iwaizumi knew he thought so, too.

They slowly approached the door and peeked in and saw Akaashi Keiji curled up in his bed, thick blankets over himself as he read over the last pages of his new book. Hinata tensed harshly under Iwaizumi’s arm, and Iwaizumi glanced at him, unsure if he saw what he did.

He wondered if he  _ also  _ saw Akaashi chewing on a straw stuck out of his strawberry nutrition drink— his favorite. He wondered if he also saw the monitor beside his bed and the clasp over his index finger. 

“Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi looked up and did a double take at Hinata, “Shōyō. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Hinata nodded. “How are  _ you,  _ though?”

Akaashi shrugged and looked back at his book, “Here.”

They stepped out of the way as a nurse entered the room and glanced at them before turning to Akaashi.

“Would you like privacy?”

Akaashi closed his book and his heart rate visibly increased on the monitor as he sat up, “They can stay if they want.”

And stay they did. Iwaizumi was simply floored Akaashi had really been there the entire time and Hinata had a morbid curiosity about the transparent man in the bed in front of him.

The nurse nodded and sat in a rolling chair beside the bed with a notepad, “How are you feeling after breakfast?”

“Disgusting.”

“Anything else?”

“I want to shove my hand so far down my throat that I choke and die on it.”

“And?”

“That’s a problem,” Akaashi sighed.

“How do you feel physically?”

“Sick. Too full. Like my stomach is expanding so far that it’ll burst. An overstuffed balloon.”

Iwaizumi winced as Akaashi stared at the ceiling and spoke as though commenting on the cars down in the parking lot.

“How’s your emotional state today on a scale of one to ten?”

“Two.”

“Two is pretty low.”

“I know. I feel alone and sad. I miss Kōtarō. Can he visit yet?”

“He’s been able to visit since he proved he could be here without causing a scene.”

“Oh.”

Hinata gently led Iwaizumi away by the hand, but Iwaizumi stared into Akaashi’s face for as long as possible. If he’d ever seen a lonesome, defeated human being, it was Akaashi Keiji. He wondered what book he read. He wondered what quote reminded him of Bokuto and he wondered how he felt about his strawberry drink today.

“Hinata, I can’t fucking do this, man.”

Hinata faltered and turned back before swallowing thickly at his teary eyes, “What?”

“This world… Life… It’s just. So terrible. I just want to go back to sleep. Whenever you get out of bed there’s just something new that rips your heart out and I can’t… Do this.”

“You can do this,” Hinata breathed. “You are  _ stronger  _ than this.”

Iwaizumi shook his head as he slowly pulled his hand from Hinata’s before wiping at his wet cheeks, “No, I’m not. I don’t have any fight left. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so tired.”

Hinata took a deep, steadying breath, “Okay. Okay, this is okay. We can work through this. Let’s go to our appointment, okay? We can tell someone who will know how to help.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“What?”

“This isn’t the life you deserve,” Iwaizumi gestured around him with a defeated hand. “You deserve to be at home with your family, laughing your beautiful laugh and lighting up their lives.”

“This  _ isn’t  _ life, here, Hajime. You’ll be out of here soon. You just have to  _ try.  _ Then we can go home and laugh and be happy  _ together  _ the way it’s meant to be.”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “Why don’t you understand?”

“I understand just fine. You can’t make me quit on you, even if you quit on me.”

“I’m not— I couldn’t quit on you.”

Hinata held his hand out to him, an uncharacteristically stern look on his face, “Then let’s go to the doctor and fix this.”

Iwaizumi let out a shaky breath and slowly clasped his hand, feeling his warmth like a thousand suns and his stability like the only truly stable thing in the world— mathematics. The world could implode and math would remain functional and unchanged. And he felt the same about Hinata. The world could implode and Hinata would still be there to smile at him and tell him it would be okay.

He knew because it already happened several times.

Iwaizumi stood with Hinata’s hands tightly in his. The doctor decided he was not in fact ready to go home upon hearing of his new suicide idiations. The man had no definitive diagnosis for him, but gave him a short term antipsychotic medication. They wanted to keep him there as he got on it until he was stable. Apparently they just wanted to be extra sure he had the support he needed ‘just in case’. Though, he’d be allowed out in time for his wedding, then the choice was there’s for what they’d do when they got back to California.

He leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to Hinata’s lips and the once-again-ginger sighed into it.

“I love you, Hajime.”

“I love you, too.”

“We’re going to stay in Tokyo for a few more days. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi smiled, and it felt genuine. “Do me a favor?”

Hinata furrowed his brow, “Anything.”

“Tell Bokuto,  _ ‘the trigger is not having you around’.” _

Hinata’s confusion swelled, but he nodded, “Okay. I will.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

He once again watched the door close heavily and lock loudly behind him before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning. He went to the window instead of his room. He felt like he could stomach the concept of the outside world at that moment.

He smiled once again as he felt Akaashi beside him.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Don’t flatter me,” Akaashi said flatly. “You told me to go away.”

“I thought you were dead.”

“I am.”

“To die means you once lived.”

“I did live, once. But no longer.”

“What book do you have?”

_ “Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison.” _

“What Bokuto quote do you have?”

He smiled wider at the sound of flipping pages,  _ “Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” _

Iwaizumi nodded, “I like it.”

Akaashi stared out the window, “Want to hear one that makes me think of you?”

“Sure.”

The pages turned once again.

_ “I was never more hated than when I tried to be honest. Or when, even as just now I've tried to articulate exactly what I felt to be the truth. No one was satisfied.” _

Iwaizumi chuckled, a cheap imitation of humor, “I suppose that would make you think of me, huh?”

“Want to hear one that reminds me of myself?”

“Yes.”

He flipped through the book then took a breath like a man about to reveal a great truth about a dark secret.

_ “I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything and anything except me.” _

Iwaizumi glanced at him in the glass, “I see you quite clearly.”

“Then you’re the only one.”

“Bokuto sees you.”

Akaashi turned away, “He averted his gaze. Otherwise, he’d be here to tell me that himself.”

“Hey, Akaashi?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m starting my antipsychotics. Will you still be here next week?”

Akaashi shrugged, “Perhaps in spirit.”

Iwaizumi snorted to the window, “Okay.”

On the eighteenth day of being hospitalized and four days medicated, he didn’t feel different at all. He didn’t expect to, either. Apparently the pills took at least two weeks to start doing anything. He only saw Akaashi if he sought him out in his room. He didn’t do much of anything. He didn’t read much the last four days, nor did he walk around nor did he initiate any contact with Iwaizumi. Hinata came and visited every day as promised for those four days and reported that Bokuto was thinking about visiting but hadn’t yet built up the nerve.

It was on the nineteenth day— his last day— when Iwaizumi was laying in bed thinking about his wedding the next day that Akaashi sought  _ him  _ out. He didn’t look up as Akaashi stood in the doorway.

_ “SlaughterHouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.” _

“Yeah? What’s your favorite quote?”

“I have many.”

“Sit and tell me.”

Akaashi slowly walked into the room with his heavy blanket wrapped tightly around himself and sat lightly at the end of the bed, but his weight caused more of a shift than before.

_ “Why me?” _

_ “That is a very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why.”” _

Iwaizumi glanced up to look at him but his eyes caught on Bokuto, gripping the trim around where the door would close if there was one. He quickly averted his eyes and looked back to Akaashi. His face looked lively, but his eyes looked dead. He looked human again at least in the physical.

“Another.”

_ “How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.” _

“What does that one make you think of?”

Akaashi frowned at the page he rubbed between his thumb and index finger, “Myself. You. Us. Everyone here. But my favorite is this one,  _ ‘And so it goes…’” _

“I like it. Very simple. Do you have a Bokuto quote today?”

Akaashi sighed and frowned deeper,  _ “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” _

Iwaizumi glanced back to Bokuto who stepped away from the door before steeling his expression and stepping into the room.

“Keiji.”

Akaashi’s entire demeanour changed as he perked up and turned towards Bokuto. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him move so fast since he got there. He watched Bokuto’s hard expression crumble upon seeing his face. The spiker crossed the room in one and a half large strides and pulled him heavily into his arms, taking him clean off the bed in one fluid movement.

“Keiji.”

“Kōtarō. You came.”

Iwaizumi watched them embrace warmly, then Bokuto placed him on the floor and tucked his face into his neck, “Keiji, you’re  _ warm.” _

“More like breaking even,” Akaashi laughed through tears.

Iwaizumi smiled at them before slowly getting up and walking around them, but they paid no mind. Iwaizumi simply kept his attention turned from Bokuto. He wasn’t someone you were ever meant to see cry, so he pretended like he really didn’t see it.

He slowly made his way out to the bookshelf in the common area, eyes immediately falling on a thick, red, hardcover book with gold writing on the spine.

_ Stephen King 11/22/63 _

He picked it up and turned to a page with a crinkled corner, reading the first paragraph that caught his eye. It probably drew his eye because it was darker than the rest of the page, as though someone ran their finger over it several times until the paper beneath became weary, ready to quit.

_ ‘I know life is hard, I think everyone knows that in their hearts, but why does it have to be cruel, as well? Why does it have to bite?’ _

He smiled down at the words before flipping to the back cover, then finding a particularly worn page that waved along the sides. He looked at where the weary paper was nearly rubbed out of existence, frail and thin from manhandling. He glanced at the page number.  _ 841. _

_ ‘She speaks in a voice almost too low to be heard over the music, but I hear her— I always did. “Who  _ are  _ you, George?’ _

Iwaizumi turned to page eight hundred forty two and his eyes immediately prickled with tears upon the seven words at the top of the page.

_ ‘Someone you knew in another life, honey.’ _

He took a shaky inhale in.

_ ‘Then the music takes us, the music rolls away the years, and we dance.’ _

“I don’t believe in another life,” he breathed to the book. “I hardly believe in this one.”

But his brain flashed with images of ginger hair and fajitas and cockroaches in cupboards. He saw pictures of a little man jumping higher than the moon with the sole intention of flying. He thought of the next day when they would bind themselves to each other forever in the presence of all their friends, legally or not.

Images of volleyballs and tears and laughs and dances, shared music, memories and several years of foundation beneath his feet stood strong.

And suddenly… Everything seemed real to him, again.

“But,” he breathed. “I do believe in you, Shō.”


End file.
